Depression on my birthday

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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

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SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

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Depression before a birthday: psychological reasons

Birthday is one of the main holidays for many people. However, before a significant date, a person can become irritable, quick-tempered, longing and apathy cover him. Such a depressive state has received the informal name "birthday boy syndrome". Specialists involved in the study of this issue note that the cause of such a phenomenon can be childhood psychotrauma, once spoiled identity or high expectations.

Causes of depression before a birthday

Depression before a birthday is common, but some people mistake it for fatigue, moral and physical exhaustion. For the first time, depressive states before a solemn event may appear in adolescents who anxiously expect physiological changes and are afraid to become adults.

Some birthday people report that they do not want to grow old and experience anxiety associated with age-related changes. Men are most often concerned about the fact that as a result of aging, their reproductive function may fade. Older birthdays associate negative emotions and depressed mood with the fear of death.

Modern psychology considers the following circumstances and situations among the causes of depressive disorder on the eve of a birthday:

  • Childhood psychological trauma can cause severe psychological conditions even in adulthood. Often, disgust for a birthday is associated with unpleasant events, such as the absence of a holiday, insufficient attention from guests to a child, and receiving uninteresting gifts.
  • Unpleasant guests. In some situations, the birthday boy cannot avoid the visit of unpleasant guests, distant relatives, with whom he has a tense relationship.
  • Expectation of large expenses and difficulties in organizing a holiday. Preparing for a celebration for some people is a serious stress. Celebrating anniversaries is often associated with significant financial costs. In addition, in modern society it is customary to celebrate birthdays not only with relatives and friends, but also with colleagues, which is an additional emotional and financial burden.
  • Disappointment when summing up the past years. Unconsciously, on a birthday, each person seeks to compare their expectations and plans with real results. At any age, a person may experience envy towards more successful acquaintances and peers.

After a birthday, birthday people can also develop depressive states, which are caused by dissatisfaction with gifts, the behavior of those invited and the celebration in general. To understand the causes of depression that occurs before a birthday, a deep analysis of personal characteristics is required, after which it becomes possible to permanently get rid of the pathological condition.

Signs of depression before a significant date

Clients often turn to psychologists with the question of why depression occurs before a birthday for no apparent reason. People who have encountered this problem describe their condition as follows:

  • Anxiety appears a few days before the celebration.

This state is a natural reaction of the psyche to a significant event. However, in cases where abnormal anxiety is noted, one should think about the need to organize a birthday party and gather guests.

  • Reluctance to celebrate name days, as a rule, appears in people who are in a difficult financial or emotional situation.

Clients note that a month before their birthday they experience apathy, unwillingness to discuss the upcoming celebration with their loved ones and prepare for it.

  • Before an exciting event, birthday people become irritable.

Most of the clients suffering from depression before the name day feel the desire to be in the circle of close people, to hear warm words from them. However, at such moments, even minor troubles can cause irritation and bad mood among the heroes of the occasion.

  • Isolation from others is a characteristic feature of a depressive disorder.

Before an impending depression, a person seeks to protect himself from numerous congratulations, visits from guests. Some birthdays for this period may leave home or turn off the phone.

  • High demands for the upcoming celebration.

When working with a psychologist, it is difficult for clients with this request to name the reason for their depressed psycho-emotional state. In the course of organized events, such people come to the conclusion that they want to get more from the holiday than they are willing to invest in its organization.

Esotericism considers this problem from the position that birth is the strongest stress. The human body stores memories of the birth process, therefore, before the solemn date, not only mood, but also well-being can worsen. This state is most clearly manifested before anniversaries.

These signs of depression are temporary. They can be successfully corrected using modern techniques, selected taking into account the personal characteristics of the client.

Psychological preparation for the holiday

On birthdays, a person is filled with energy forces, since each such moment corresponds to a certain position of the stars. People who notice a deterioration in their condition every year and associate it with name days require special psychological preparation. Experienced psychologists recommend starting such a day of summing up the results of life and making plans for the coming year. It is important to pay attention to what the past year has brought useful for personal development, and what shortcomings need to be eliminated.

Esotericists do not recommend celebrating a birthday in advance, they believe that in this way a person shortens his life. Such a statement can form negative attitudes in the mind of a person, which should also be fought.

Before a birthday, psychologists recommend that clients spend the evening in a quiet environment. Some people use such solitude to take stock, others determine for themselves the prospects for further development. The day preceding the celebration can also be devoted to ridding the apartment of unnecessary and superfluous things, which on a subconscious level also forms a readiness for new events and ideas.

Psychological preparation for the celebration may also include the return of spiritual and financial debts, as well as the forgiveness of ill-wishers. Before the birthday, it is important to get rid of negative emotions that worsen the psycho-emotional state. In the fight against apathy, a change of image or the acquisition of significant presents is effective.

Ways to get rid of depression

Depression on a birthday is a temporary phenomenon, the psycho-emotional state of the birthday person in most cases normalizes after the completion of the celebration and immersion in everyday affairs. However, the problem left unattended will return every year and bring negative emotions with it.

Psychiatrists recommend that people suffering from depression visit such procedures as electrophoresis, UHF, heat therapy and light therapy. Phytotherapy, which is based on the use of herbal decoctions and tea, has a high efficiency and calming effect. However, before this procedure, consultation with the attending physician is required.

The psychological struggle with depression can take place within the framework of various psychotherapeutic approaches. However, in most cases, experts give clients the following recommendations aimed at eliminating the causes of depression:

  • An objective assessment of the situation allows the birthday person to highlight the moments that disturb him to a greater extent.
  • Before the celebration, attention should be paid to the physical state, which is interconnected with emotions and mood. Relaxing massages, swimming pool and beauty salon, gym have a positive effect on the nervous system.
  • When compiling a list of invitees, the birthday person can analyze his attitude towards close people and relatives and refuse unpleasant guests.
  • Think about the organization of the upcoming celebration and the pleasant moments that will be associated with it. Such thoughts help to distract from reflections on old age.
  • A celebration just for themselves can be organized by people who do not want to spend an important day in a noisy company. At such moments, some birthday people decide to make a parachute jump or scuba dive.
  • Social activity is one of the effective means of getting rid of depression. Walking in the fresh air, watching movies with friends cheer up and help distract from disturbing thoughts.
  • In some cases, psycho-emotional stress decreases after the birthday person shares his experiences with loved ones and receives moral support or help in organizing the celebration from them.

Depression on a birthday can appear suddenly and disrupt the birthday person's plans. However, experienced psychologists have methods that allow them to cope with this condition in the shortest possible time and get positive emotions and impressions from a significant event.

"Birthday Syndrome". Why do we feel sad on the eve of a birthday

Before the main holiday, you feel bad and want to hide away from everyone? We found out why

May 30, 2020, 13:40, Olesya Pastukhova


Bad mood, apathy and even irritability on your birthday is not a consequence of your "nasty and harmful" character, but a completely normal condition. It turns out that moping before a personal New Year is very natural. together with a psychologist from Barnaul Ekaterina Kabanchenko tried to figure out why a person falls into this state and how once a spoiled holiday can affect birthdays in later life. It turned out that inexplicable sadness can be associated with high expectations and even childhood trauma.

Starting point

- Very often, before a birthday, a person can be overcome by boundless melancholy, he becomes more quick-tempered, and there is no feeling of a holiday at all. Why is this happening?

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– Indeed, there is such a tendency. There is a term (although it is unofficial) - "birthday syndrome". It is well known to people whose good cheerful mood is replaced by apathy before their birthday: they are sad, sigh, sad, so much so that sometimes they just want to cry. Not necessarily longing can overcome the holiday itself. "Cover" with melancholy can be a few days, or even weeks before this day.

Sounds like no logic, right? After all, a birthday is a holiday when a person rejoices at the appearance in this world, and the fact that he lives at all. But at the same time, a birthday reminds everyone of the transience of time and that the past will not return. All those events that have already happened, all those opportunities that were, that a person took advantage of or did not use, are already in the past and cannot be returned.

Therefore, a birthday is a starting point, a day when a person can face what in psychology is called an "existential crisis." This is a crisis when a person asks himself questions: “what have I achieved”, “how satisfied am I with my life”, “what dreams have I realized”, “where am I going”, “what do I want”, “what is ahead of me”. " and so on. We begin to take stock and make new plans. Sometimes everything is fine with a person and it seems that he has achieved everything he wanted. But he has questions, what to do next and what else to want.

If every birthday you have a strong desire not to celebrate, it means that you have accumulated a lot of important questions inside you, which for various reasons you do not answer yourself. And on such a holiday, it is impossible not to remember these issues, because it reminds of a new life cycle.

If a person does not run away from a reassessment of values, from accepting and letting go of the opportunities that were missed, if he sees new opportunities for himself, then this period can even affect him positively and positively. Because by responding to your difficulties, you will grow and develop.

My birthday, but it should be for everyone

- Many people spoil their birthday with an endless series of preparations, troubles. It seems that the holiday is yours, and the fuss only adds to the nervousness and headache. How to be?

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- Many of us have an image of how a birthday should be. It should be a noisy feast, a party with friends, colleagues or family gatherings at home.

But not every person likes to party and receive guests. In childhood, this holiday was organized for us, all the worries and everyday issues lay with the parents. And the child received gifts, compliments and friends to visit.

And now we have grown up and all these worries about how to cook dinner, entertain guests, decorate an apartment, house or how to book a cafe or restaurant fall on us. Not all people like to organize some events. Therefore, sometimes a person perceives a birthday not as something for himself, but something that he owes to everyone. And it can also spoil the mood.

Although now there is also a trend when people spend their birthday the way they want: they go somewhere with their soul mate, go to a spa, that is, they embody their personal desires.

There is another reason for this state before the birthday. It lies in our temperament. We are all different: someone loves communication and being the center of attention, and someone does not like it, someone easily accepts compliments, and someone does not. And on our birthdays, we always find ourselves in the spotlight. They call us, congratulate us, give us gifts, say nice words. Someone wants to be "the navel of the earth", and someone in life likes to be a little on the sidelines. And because of this, too, people may experience some discomfort.

The world is happy for you

– And if from childhood there is no anticipation of the joy of your own birthday, although everyone around loves it. Why is that?

– The child draws many traditions and habits from the family. When parents were expecting a child, if his birth was a joy, then, accordingly, his birthdays were treated the same way. For example, if a child was given gifts that he wanted, and those friends whom the child wanted were invited to the holiday, this is good. And if parents called useful and adult people for their birthday, and the wrong ones gave gifts, then in adulthood he will have sad feelings from his birthday. Because he didn't have that experience when his birthday was really his holiday.

There is still a moment when a person feels that he is in this world. And if the parents form in the child the feeling that the world is happy for him, then this also has a positive effect on his mood on this day in the future.

Of course, the mood is also directly affected by some life events that could happen shortly before the birthday. For example, someone got divorced, or did not get a long-awaited promotion, or was fired altogether. Or maybe they just didn't have time to do what they wanted to do. Such life events can also affect the mood before the celebration.

– It also happens that a person himself comes up with attitudes because of a birthday that was once ruined. Could it be?

- Yes, there is a negative attitude. True, for someone - about a birthday, for someone - about Friday the 13th, for someone - about the New Year.

This is a sign of magical thinking - when a person connects into cause and effect those things that are not connected to each other, but which just somehow happened. It happens that something bad happens on a birthday. A person begins to be afraid of this and look for situations confirming this.

For example, my loved one left me on my birthday. Naturally, next birthday I will be more anxious. And even if a colleague is rude to me, I will take it at the expense of my birthday, and not at the expense of the fact that this colleague is always rude to everyone.

A logical analysis of the situation will help to break this chain. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Besides my birthday, has this ever happened to me?
  • And on what days does this happen to me at all?
  • Is this only happening to me?
  • Or did it even happen to some of the people I know?
  • And what is the reason for this happening?

It is important to find evidence that this is just a coincidence and just fell on this day.

Birth is stressful

Why does a person feel worse before a birthday not only morally, but also physically?

– There is a theory that birth is stressful. Not only for the mother, but also for the child. After all, it is also difficult for him in the process of childbirth. And this is such a strong stress that our body remembers it, and every year before this date we begin to feel bad.

But I think it also happens because we all feel sad. And we listen to our condition a little more. What we would not feel on a normal day (some kind of aching pain or discomfort), in this state we feel more strongly (when we are emotionally sensitive).

And, of course, psychosomatics plays its role.

What age people are more likely to be apathetic before their birthday?

– A state of apathy and sadness occurs especially often before anniversaries. Indeed, people over 30 are more susceptible to this. Until the age of 30, a person is always at the beginning of something new: he masters school, learns to communicate, thinks about what profession to choose, goes to work for the first time, learns to build long-term relationships.

And 30 years is the first limit when we start summing up some results. And each subsequent age is really about reevaluating what a person has managed to do by this time.

Therefore, if you feel that before your holiday your mood has disappeared somewhere, know that this is a normal phenomenon.

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