Best books on boundaries
Boundaries Books
Showing 1-50 of 536
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (Hardcover)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 48 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.19 — 67,327 ratings — published 1992
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Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself (ebook)
by
Nedra Glover Tawwab
(shelved 20 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.34 — 13,143 ratings — published 2021
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Boundaries: Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries (Hardcover)
by
Anne Katherine (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 12 times as boundaries)
avg rating 3.99 — 1,169 ratings — published 1991
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Don't Touch My Hair! (Hardcover)
by
Sharee Miller
(shelved 10 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.41 — 1,469 ratings — published 2018
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Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships (Paperback)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 10 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.24 — 3,641 ratings — published 1999
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Boundaries in Dating (Paperback)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 10 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.14 — 5,053 ratings — published 1999
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Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day (Paperback)
by
Anne Katherine (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 8 times as boundaries)
avg rating 3.87 — 872 ratings — published 2000
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Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are (Hardcover)
by
Lysa TerKeurst (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 7 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.80 — 439 ratings — published 2022
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Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs (Paperback)
by
Faith G. Harper
(shelved 7 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.03 — 1,654 ratings — published
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Don't Hug Doug (He Doesn't Like It)
by
Carrie Finison (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 6 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.40 — 1,364 ratings — published 2021
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Rissy No Kissies (Hardcover)
by
Katey Howes (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 6 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.26 — 492 ratings — published 2021
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Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free
by
Terri Cole
(shelved 5 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.32 — 971 ratings — published 2021
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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (Paperback)
by
Lindsay C. Gibson
(shelved 5 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.40 — 24,596 ratings — published 2015
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Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives (Paperback)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 5 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
31 — 3,729 ratings — published 1998
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Boundaries: Workbook (Paperback)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 5 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.31 — 749 ratings — published 1995
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Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't (Paperback)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 5 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
23 — 4,086 ratings — published 1995
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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Paperback)
by
Melody Beattie
(shelved 4 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.12 — 36,068 ratings — published 1986
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Beyond Boundaries: How To Know When It's Time To Risk Again (Hardcover)
by
John Townsend
(shelved 4 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
34 — 966 ratings — published 2011
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Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (Hardcover)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 4 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.28 — 3,863 ratings — published 2011
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Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You (Paperback)
by
Susan Forward
(shelved 4 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
11 — 3,191 ratings — published 1997
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Mason & Dixon (Paperback)
by
Thomas Pynchon
(shelved 4 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.10 — 10,479 ratings — published 1997
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The Set Boundaries Workbook: Practical Exercises for Understanding Your Needs and Setting Healthy Limits (Paperback)
by
Nedra Glover Tawwab
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
49 — 136 ratings — published
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More Than Fluff (Hardcover)
by
Madeline Valentine
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.12 — 207 ratings — published 2021
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Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself (Kindle Edition)
by
Aziz Gazipura
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
04 — 1,683 ratings — published 2017
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Empowered Boundaries: Speaking Truth, Setting Boundaries, and Inspiring Social Change (Paperback)
by
Cristien Storm (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 3.95 — 159 ratings — published 2018
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How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals About Personal Growth (Paperback)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
25 — 2,343 ratings — published 2001
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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life (Paperback)
by
Susan Forward
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.13 — 13,622 ratings — published 2002
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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself (Kindle Edition)
by
Shahida Arabi
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
17 — 1,135 ratings — published 2016
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Changes That Heal: The Four Shifts That Make Everything Better…And That Anyone Can Do (Paperback)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.38 — 3,752 ratings — published 1992
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How the States Got Their Shapes (Hardcover)
by
Mark Stein
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 3.
52 — 3,502 ratings — published 2008
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Boundaries Face to Face: How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding (Hardcover)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 3 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.00 — 986 ratings — published 2003
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The Book of Boundaries (Hardcover)
by
Melissa Urban (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.
38 — 536 ratings — published
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Girlhood (Hardcover)
by
Melissa Febos (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.28 — 5,529 ratings — published 2021
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Playing the Cards You're Dealt (Hardcover)
by
Varian Johnson
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.28 — 659 ratings — published 2021
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Keep Your Love On: Connection Communication And Boundaries (Paperback)
by
Danny Silk
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.48 — 2,985 ratings — published 2013
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Never Go Back (Hardcover)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.25 — 738 ratings — published 2014
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The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships (Paperback)
by
Harriet Lerner
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.09 — 24,149 ratings — published 1985
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Hug? (Hardcover)
by
Charlene Chua (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 3.88 — 242 ratings — published
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The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence (Paperback)
by
Gavin de Becker
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.16 — 37,816 ratings — published 1996
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30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control In Personal Relationships (Kindle Edition)
by
Adelyn Birch
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.05 — 982 ratings — published 2014
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Biff: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns (Paperback)
by
Bill Eddy (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.22 — 359 ratings — published 2011
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Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No (Hardcover)
by
John Townsend
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.19 — 1,057 ratings — published 2006
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Consent (for Kids!): Boundaries, Respect, and Being in Charge of YOU
by
Rachel Brian (著)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.67 — 727 ratings — published 2020
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Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality (Hardcover)
by
Henry Cloud (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.22 — 2,875 ratings — published 2006
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My Very Own Space (Hardcover)
by
Pippa Goodhart
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 3.54 — 253 ratings — published 2017
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Boundary Power: How I Treat You, How I Let You Treat Me, How I Treat Myself (Paperback)
by
Mike O'Neil
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.10 — 39 ratings — published 1994
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Choices: Taking Control of Your Life and Making It Matter (Paperback)
by
Melody Beattie
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.14 — 273 ratings — published 2002
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Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Hardcover)
by
Brené Brown (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.28 — 183,164 ratings — published 2012
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Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment (Hardcover)
by
Steve Harvey
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 3.79 — 46,167 ratings — published 2009
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Personal Space Camp (Paperback)
by
Julia Cook (Goodreads Author)
(shelved 2 times as boundaries)
avg rating 4.17 — 460 ratings — published 2007
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Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
12 books — 2 voters
Third-Wave Feminism
167 books — 70 voters
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“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
― Shannon L. Alder
“Boundaries aren't all bad. That's why there are walls around mental institutions.”
― Peggy Noonan, Patriotic Grace: What It Is and Why We Need It Now
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Denise Marie Mari PhD Teaches About Healthy-Hearted Marriage - Book Trailer
Time Management Trainer Controlling People Decisions Boundaries
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The Top 5 Must-Read Books On How to Set Boundaries | by Marlena Bontas
Photo by Matheus BertelliMany people talk about boundaries and how important they are. But do they actually know how to practice what they preach? Boundaries are certain rules or values that define who you are as a person. Having strong values prevent you from accepting a low-paying job, getting drunk with your friends to please them, or letting a toxic parent control you or your married life.
Healthy boundaries are the bedrock of a good relationship and marriage. However, you might be surprised to find out that even people who weren’t raised by narcissistic parents have trouble understanding the concept of boundaries.
On the other hand, if you come from a family of narcissists, not only you weren’t taught boundaries but you were even encouraged to accept abuse from others and believe that it is OK.
I understand what it means not having boundaries. My mother used to walk in on me while I was taking a bath or changing in my clothes.
(no, I wasn’t a kid anymore).
I couldn’t keep secrets from her, it was devastating for her to find out that I moved to a new apartment during my studies or that I didn’t eat dairy anymore. This little habit of letting people break into my personal space without even feeling angry about it lead to meeting all kinds of dubious people.
One was an anti-social landlord who would send me text messages at 3 am asking me why I misplaced his dishes in the kitchen. Another, a male friend who pretended to give me a massage at 2 am and, who in fact wanted a special kind of rubbing in a special kind of area.
Since then, I learned more about boundaries from articles, books, and my own therapy sessions. If you too had toxic people in your life who’d break into your personal space without feeling sorry about it, check out the following books.
These books are written by professionals who have years of experience in psychology and the mental health field. They’ll help you understand what boundaries are and how to set limits with everyone in your life.
Because, believe it or not, without healthy boundaries, your life is pretty much screwed.
This is an award-winning book that teaches you how to set reasonable boundaries. However, I should warn you that it has a religious undertone.
Henry Cloud’s workbook on boundaries is based on the one above. However, this has a more practical approach.
This is a practical book for maintaining boundaries in all kinds of situations.
This book teaches you the concept of boundaries, how to set personal rules and how to protect yourself when others try to break these rules.
Mike O’Neil doesn’t shy away from asking the reader if he or she has crossed someone’s boundaries at one point in their life.
Jan Black’s book applies to everyone who needs to learn about boundaries, including mental health professionals. There are no religious references in it, thus, it is more appropriate for the non-religious folks out there.
And remember, that, to build strong boundaries with others you need internal boundaries.
What does this mean ? You might ask.
Well, internal boundaries make you a separate person from your own family. You have your own self that does not depend on your mother or other people’s validation to exist.
For example, if your mother disagrees with your lifestyle, life partner, or career, you won’t try to gain her approval. Instead, you’ll accept her disappointment and move on. Accepting who you are and what you want as an individual with different needs and wants from their family is the key to having healthy relationships.
In case, you don’t manage to set limits with your loved ones, ask help from a counselor who is specialized in this subject. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help.
If you liked this post, share it with those who might need it.
Thanks,
Marlena
| Henry Cloud, John Townsend Children: Boundaries, Boundaries… Introduction Want to paint a picture of a happy future for your children? Then already today begin to clearly outline its contours. You certainly dream of your children becoming sane adults who are able to take responsibility for their actions, their value system, their lives. However, only instructions from your side are not enough for this. From the moment of the first whims of childhood and ending with the most difficult period of adolescence, you must help children: teach them to take responsibility for their behavior, feelings and opinions. This can be done by drawing the right boundaries. Boundaries are the foundation of human relationships. There are no boundaries - there will be no maturity, security and growth for your children and yourself. The book “Children: Limits, Limits…” will help develop in children the ability to take responsibility for themselves. Based on biblical principles, the authors of the book will help you: • Understand that boundary problems are at the root of any deviation in a child's behavior • Form boundaries and begin to build a relationship with a child based on cause and effect relationships • Stop harassing a child endless nagging • Stop controlling a child's every step and help him become independent • Adhere to the Ten Laws of Boundary Formation in Parent-Child Relationships • Take Six Practical Steps to Boundary Building with Children Drs. The book contains a lot of real life examples and funny stories. She is the best contribution of parents to the well-being of their children, Professional psychologists, Ph.D. Henry Cloud and John Townsend are very famous personalities. They often give lectures, broadcast throughout the country radio program "Learning to live in a new way!". Both completed doctoral studies in the specialty "practical psychology" and use their knowledge in life. The books published by them in co-authorship received wide popularity. The most popular among them are: "Marriage: where is the line?", "What does it mean to be a mother", "Reliable people", "Twelve "Christian" principles that make you go crazy" and the book "Barriers" awarded the "Gold Medal" . Foreword Dr. Townsend narrates — What is this book you and Uncle Henry are writing? asked my seven-year-old son Ricky. “This is a book about children and boundaries,” I replied. Ricky thought for a moment and said: - I like to talk about boundaries, but I don't like to hear about them. Ricky, you are no different from the rest of humanity. We all like to put up boundaries, but we don't like hearing about others' boundaries. We understand your condition very well, dear reader, because Ricky expressed the position of all children (and most adults): what gives me pleasure is “good”, and what upsets me is “bad”. Since the time of Adam and Eve, man has stubbornly refused to take responsibility for his own life, he does not want to be responsible for himself. The task of parents is to help their child develop responsibility, self-control and inner freedom by their own example. Creating boundaries and maintaining their integrity is not an easy task, but if you follow the rules, the result will not be long in coming. Why do we need boundaries in relationships with children? A few years ago, Dr. Cloud and I wrote the book Barriers, which dealt with issues such as when to say yes, when to say no, how to manage your life. The main idea of the book is: the introduction of certain restrictions helps us to manage our lives better and ultimately love God and people more strongly. The huge popularity of "Barriers" suggests that a large number of people in their relationships with loved ones are constantly faced with problems of irresponsibility, manipulation, suppression of personality, emotional immaturity, conflicts with colleagues, etc. Since the publication of the book, parents have bombarded us with questions—at counseling sessions and seminars, during our radio appearances—about the principle of boundaries in parenting. People want to raise their children not only loving, but also responsible. To do this, they need a guide to action that will help not only to restore broken boundaries, but also to prevent boundary-related problems and form boundaries in children. Who is this book for? Children: Limits, Limits... is written for parents of children of all ages, from infants to teenagers. But it's not just for parents. The book will tell each of you how to help children whom you love and on whom you have a certain impact. The book will help you if you are — Teacher Grandmother or grandfather Sports coach Neighbor Teacher or nanny Church minister working with youth Teenager working to create his own boundaries If you do not have children of your own, but want to contribute to the development of a child whose fate you care about, this book will help you develop appropriate principles - no matter whether you play a primary or secondary role in the upbringing of the child. Why is this book needed? The book “Children: Borders, Borders…” is intended not only for those who find themselves in a critical situation. You may want to use the material in this book during the period when the child is smoothly "flowing" from one age group to another, and also at the stage of final maturation. This book will help you overcome the many difficulties that parents often face. (And all parents, without exception, face them.) Many problems are directly related to responsibility and the ability to control oneself. We will show you the way to solve the following problems: • impulsiveness • Netness • Non -recognition of adult authority • nagging • Habitter to postpone everything for later • Inability to bring the case to the end of • Aggressivity • Troubles at the school • Conflicts with friends • Drugs • Hooliganism Although this book deals with these and many other issues, the main content of this book is not "problems" but "principles". The chapters of the book “Children: Limits, Limits…” are not arranged in chronological order of successive periods of a child's development: infant, preschool age, primary school age, etc. We believe that the principles of boundary formation are universal for all children, they are suitable for children of any developmental level. You only need to apply these laws to your child, taking into account his age and degree of maturity. We provide many examples in each chapter to illustrate the application of these laws to children of all ages so that you can use them in your own situation. |
Henry Cloud and John Townsend show how to manage "unruly" family life; how to impose the necessary restrictions without ceasing to be loving parents; how to determine the right place for boundaries in your family and, among other things, how to develop in children the qualities of character that are pleasing to God, which are the key to a healthy, fulfilling adult life. 
We have tried to cover this in this book. It provides principles for the formation of boundaries, taking into account the specific requirements for the process of education. 
The principles given in it are generally applicable to all situations. The behavior of the child at home, at school and on the street must meet the requirements of the level of maturity appropriate for his age. 
It sets out the fundamental principles by which your children will learn to manage their lives. These principles are based on the biblical concepts and provisions of God's teaching about responsibility, the ability to properly manage one's life and the ability to control oneself. In the book "Barriers" we mentioned ten laws of boundary formation. Here we will dwell on each of them in relation to the relationship between parents and children. 
What is Your Limits about? Practical advice and exercises for building personal boundaries
“I will never forget the day and hour when I realized that I almost never have my own thoughts,” says one of the clients of the systems-integrative consultant and creator of coaching and training programs Nancy Levin .
From childhood we were taught not to quarrel with anyone and to do things because "I said so." At the same time, no one taught how to set boundaries and take care of themselves and their needs.
Your boundaries. How to Maintain Your Personal Space and Find Inner Freedom
Levin N.
In Your Boundaries, Nancy talks about how to learn to live by your own rules and put yourself first. We share with you a simple exercise that will help you identify "overdue" personal boundaries and set them. A book by Nancy Levin, a systems integrative consultant and creator of coaching and training programs, is a practical guide to personal boundaries.
In it, you'll learn how to set boundaries, what challenges you might encounter along the way, and why trying to be "good" for everyone doesn't lead to happiness.
Where does our desire for self-sacrifice come from
It seems to us that if we talk about our needs, they will call us an egoist, stop loving, turn away from us, and we will be left alone. The thought of such a fate makes us do everything to be considered “good”. This is especially evident in adolescents, for whom the acceptance of friends and classmates seems absolutely necessary. In adolescence, we can give up our “I” and support what is accepted in our environment, even if we don’t really like it. Sometimes, only for acceptance by others, we allow ourselves to be disrespected and offended. We obediently fulfill requests and instructions, although we feel that our boundaries are being violated. But such behavior is fundamentally wrong - it is important to take care of yourself and not do anything that is contrary to your beliefs.
If boundary violations are constantly ignored, sooner or later it will affect our physical health and emotional state, as we prohibit ourselves from experiencing negative emotions.
To understand the boundaries you owe yourself, think of a work relationship, friendship, or romantic relationship that you fear losing if you talk about your needs. This way you can identify where you "cheated on yourself" in an attempt to please and gain the approval of others. Also pay attention to the areas with which you are most often dissatisfied, there you also need to set boundaries.
In Your Limits, Nancy talks about how to learn to live by your own rules and put yourself first. We share with you a simple exercise that will help you identify "overdue" personal boundaries and set them.
Practice
The exercise we'll go through next will help you better understand where you lack boundaries and which ones are long overdue. Even if you consider yourself a master of personal boundaries, after this training you will surely find something else you can work on.
Write down everything that causes you such negative emotions: anger, fear, depression, helplessness, apathy and sadness. If you find yourself experiencing one of these feelings, try to answer the following questions:
– anger: what do you get angry about most often? What causes this emotion? If you don't know the reasons for your anger, try thinking of yourself as another person: what could someone be angry about in the same circumstances as you.
- fear: remember if you are afraid of something and why?
- depression: what can make you feel depressed?
- helplessness: why do you feel helpless?
- apathy: do you ever feel apathy or hopelessness? If yes, for what reason?
- sadness: do you often feel sad and why?
Do you feel lack of energy or emotional exhaustion? If yes, why?
– can violation of boundaries cause the above negative emotions;
- what will have to be changed in the current situation in order to meet your real needs;
- what personal boundaries will need to be set in order to get closer to achieving the goal;
- have you managed to clearly define your boundary for yourself and others?
