15 years age difference
Why couples with big age gaps are happier, despite the social disapproval
Romantic couples with a large age gap often raise eyebrows. Studies have found partners with more than a 10-year gap in age experience social disapproval. But when it comes to our own relationships, both men and women prefer someone their own age, but are open to someone 10-15 years their junior or senior.
While there is variation across cultures in the size of the difference in age-gap couples, all cultures demonstrate the age-gap couple phenomenon. In some non-Western countries, the average age gap is much larger than in Western countries. For example, in some African countries about 30 per cent of unions reflect a large age gap.
So does age matter? And do couples with large age gaps experience poorer (or better) relationship outcomes compared to couples of similar ages?
How many relationships have a big age gap?
Across Western countries, about 8 per cent of all married heterosexual couples can be classified as having a large age gap (10 years or more). These generally involve older men partnered with younger women. About 1 per cent of age-gap couples involve an older woman partnered with a younger man.
The limited evidence on same-sex couples, however, suggests the prevalence rates are higher. About 25 per cent of male-male unions and 15 per cent of female-female unions demonstrate a large age gap.
But what these trends tell us is that the majority of the population is likely to partner with someone of similar age. This largely has to do with having social circles that generally include peers of similar ages and being attracted to others who are similar. Similarity entails many things, including personality, interests and values, life goals and stage of life, and physical traits (age being a marker of physical appearance).
Why doesn't age matter to some?
Many of the reasons proposed for age-gap couples have been largely rooted in evolutionary explanations, and focus on explaining older man-younger woman pairings.
From this perspective, it's thought men's preferences for younger women and women's preferences for older men relate to reproductive fitness. That is, the extent to which someone has "good genes" — indicated by their attractiveness and sense of energy (also known as vitality) — and the extent to which they are a "good investment" — indicated by their status and resources as well as their warmth and sense of trust.
Although men and women place importance on a partner who is warm and trustworthy, women place more importance on the status and resources of their male partner. This is largely because, with women being the child bearers, the investment is very high on their behalf (time and effort in child bearing and rearing). So they are attuned to looking for a partner who will also invest resources into a relationship and family.
In couples with an age gap it's more likely the woman is younger. This is probably because women place more importance on resources and men on fertility.
But because the building of resources takes time, we tend to acquire resources later in life and so are older by the time we have acquired enough wealth and resources to comfortably provide for others. So, women being attuned to status and resources might explain why some women may be attracted to older men.
In contrast, there's evidence to suggest men value attractiveness and vitality more than women because, from an evolutionary standpoint, youth is seen as an indicator of fertility. Given men cannot bear children, evolution suggests they're attuned to younger women to enhance the chances of partnering with someone who can provide children.
But the evolutionary explanation is limited in that it doesn't explain why the reverse occurs (an older woman-younger man pairing), or why age gaps exist within same-sex couples.
For this, socio-cultural explanations might provide insights.
With more women now working in higher positions and being paid more, they no longer have such a reliance on men for resources. So, fewer women will prioritise resources when looking for a mate.
As for same-sex couples, there's very little research. Some suggest a lack of, or a reduced pool of, suitable age-similar mates may bring about same-sex coupling with large age differences.
What are the relationship outcomes for age-gap couples?
Many people assume age-gap couples fare poorly when it comes to relationship outcomes. But some studies find the relationship satisfaction reported by age-gap couples is higher. These couples also seem to report greater trust and commitment and lower jealousy than similar-age couples. Over three-quarters of couples where younger women are partnered with older men report satisfying romantic relationships.
A factor that does impact on the relationship outcomes of age-gap couples is their perceptions of social disapproval.
That is, if people in age-gap couples believe their family, friends and wider community disapprove of their union, then relationship commitment decreases and the risk of break-up increases.
These effects appear to apply to heterosexual and same-sex couples. So the negative outcomes for age-gap couples seem to reside not in problems within the couple, but in pressures and judgments from the outside world.
Another factor at play may have to do with the stage of life each partner is experiencing. For instance, a 10-year gap between a 20-year-old and a 30-year-old may bring up different challenges and issues than for a 10-year gap where one partner is 53 and the other is 63.
This is because our lives are made up of different stages, and each stage consists of particular life tasks we need to master.
And we give priority to the mastery of different tasks during these distinct stages of our lives. So when each member of a couple straddles a different life stage, it may be difficult for the couple to reconcile each other's differing life needs and goals.
Does age matter?
The success of a relationship depends on the extent to which partners share similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship; support each other in achieving personal goals; foster relationship commitment, trust and intimacy; and resolve problems in constructive ways. These factors have little do with age.
So the reality is, while an age gap may bring about some challenges for couples, so long as couples work at their relationship, age should be no barrier.
Gery Karantzas is an associate professor in social psychology and relationship science at Deakin University. This piece first appeared on The Conversation.
Posted , updated
All About Age Differences in Relationships
Is age “just a number?” If you’re wondering whether an age difference could impact your relationship, this is for you.
In any relationship, you’ll have some qualities in common with your partner, while others — not so much.
Some couples might find that a big age difference impacts their relationship significantly over time. Others may feel that what makes them compatible is more important than a gap in years.
“Most of the couples I know say that they feel like they’re the same age,” says Dr. Loren Olson, a psychiatrist in Des Moines, Iowa. “We have a chronological age, a psychological age, a physical age, and a sexual age. Age gap couples frequently are compatible in the last three.”
Even if you’re satisfied with your relationship, it’s possible to encounter some challenges with a large age difference.
Confronting and problem-solving these challenges — which often have to do with outside judgment — could lead to even greater happiness in your partnership.
Age and consent
This article discusses age differences in romantic relationships where both partners are above the legal age of consent in their state.
If you’re below the age of consent and an adult’s behavior is making you feel uncomfortable, help is available. You can:
- Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 for confidential, 24/7 support.
- Visit Stop It Now! for online resources or reach out to their helpline at 888-773-8368.
- Visit Childhelp for resources to handle and report abuse or to chat live with someone who can help.
P.S. If both partners are above the legal age of consent, it doesn’t mean consent goes out the window. Asking for consent and being on the same page is key in any healthy romantic relationship.
If your relationship has an above-average age difference, it might impact your connection in specific ways. Still, many of these effects aren’t unique to relationships with a large age gap, and communication is key for navigating differences in any partnership.
Emotional maturity
“Even if the age gap is small, like 4 to 5 years, different levels of maturity can be observed,” says Brandy Porche, a licensed professional counselor with MindPath. “When there is a significant difference in age, like 10 to 15 years or more, life experiences can be vastly different.”
In relationships with a large emotional maturity gap, the more mature partner could end up carrying a heavier emotional load in the relationship, leading to exhaustion and potentially a breakup.
Being the older partner doesn’t guarantee emotional maturity, just like being younger doesn’t always mean you’re less mature. People sometimes conflate age with emotional maturity because more years can mean more time to form complex perspectives through exposure to different experiences.
Priorities
“The bigger the gap between partners, the more likely the relationship will struggle with phase-of-life related challenges,” says GinaMarie Guarino, a licensed mental health counselor and founder of PsychPoint.
She explains that these challenges might include differences in:
- health
- energy levels
- life priorities
- plans to start a family
Having different priorities isn’t exclusive to relationships with large age gaps. In any relationship, it’s key to discuss each person’s priorities and hopes for the future as a part of determining your compatibility if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
End-of-life concerns
Guarino highlights that people in relationships with big age differences may face more concerns about the longevity of the older partner. The younger partner may fear being left alone when the older partner passes.
Communicating with each other about these feelings can be an important part of processing them.
Guarino points out that making arrangements ahead of time can also provide some reassurance to the younger partner. “If one partner passes, the other partner knows they are taken care of and what their next steps are,” she explains.
In many cultures, heterosexual relationships where the man is older than the woman are still the most common. In these relationships, it’s common for an age gap of 2 to 3 years to exist.
Meanwhile, an Australian study from 2017 found:
- Heterosexual couples with large age gaps had a faster decline in relationship satisfaction in their first 6 to 10 years of marriage than similarly aged couples.
- Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction.
- Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.
A Korean study from 2015 found that age gaps in long-term relationships could impact each partner’s likelihood of experiencing depression.
In particular, it found that same-aged couples had the lowest rates of depression, while couples with an age gap of 3 years or more had slightly higher rates.
In short, research seems to indicate that in many cultures, an age gap of 1 to 3 years is considered ideal — but some researchers suggest even a relationship with an age gap of less than 10 years will bring more satisfaction.
Still, numbers rarely tell the full story when it comes to love. It’s possible to be much older or younger than your partner and have exactly the right relationship for you.
“I am 15 years older than my husband. We have been together 35 years,” says Olson. “We are very compatible in most ways. The only time age has been an issue occurs with things like at what age we should retire,” he shares.
Research from 2014 connects marriages with larger age gaps with higher rates of divorce, although further research is necessary to confirm this link. But just because this link exists, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.
Regardless of age, some factors connected with relationship success include:
- higher levels of education in both partners
- financial security
- having children
- lower levels of neuroticism, or tendency to experience low moods, in both partners
- secure attachment style in both partners
- strong communication skills
- supportive relationships with other family members
- tendency to approach partner with forgiveness
- high emotional intelligence
- satisfaction with your sex life in the relationship
A relationship age gap is just one factor that can influence the success of your relationship. It won’t necessarily be the factor that makes or breaks your relationship since other factors can also play a role.
In relationships with large age differences, you might encounter a couple of additional roadblocks.
Social stigma
“With relationships, there will always be people on the outside looking in.
Maybe even more so when outsiders visually see the age difference,” says Porche.
And in cultures where small relationship age gaps are more common, others may treat people in a relationship with a large age difference with judgment or criticism.
“The biggest challenge is facing criticism from those who feel there must be some ulterior motive for both of them,” says Olson.
For example, a younger partner might be accused of only choosing an older partner because of their wealth or status, and an older partner might be accused of choosing someone younger for the way they look.
Even if you and your partner are good at disregarding ignorant opinions of people you don’t know, it can hurt when friends or family are skeptical of a relationship you’re happy with.
Power imbalance
Large age differences can bring up the possibility of unbalanced power dynamics. Porche explains that even in a secure relationship, an older partner might assume an authoritative role.
If this happens, it can help to openly discuss this. “Younger partners can start the conversations by saying, ‘I’m not sure if you realize it, but you just totally made that decision for me, and I would prefer to be included in the decision process next time,’” says Porche.
A power imbalance can also happen if one partner uses their partner’s financial dependence as a way to exert control over them. Whether you and your partner are separated by a few or many years, this behavior is a sign the relationship may be a source of harm.
Whether you’re dealing with less-than-understanding loved ones or concerns about the future of the relationship as you both age, these tips could help you overcome the challenge together.
Set boundaries
“When people question or judge a relationship they are not a part of, they are overstepping the couple’s boundaries,” says Guarino. She emphasizes that setting boundaries with judgmental loved ones is a good way to remind them that even if they don’t understand your relationship, they need to respect it.
Communicate
Guarino says that with any challenge a couple may face, the ability to have open and honest conversations about the challenge is key. She highlights that it’s a good idea to make time for each partner to share how they feel.
Consider your responses to others
According to Olson, it may be necessary for you and your partner to desensitize yourselves to some critical comments you might encounter. It might also be a good idea to think of a few comebacks to the most common comments you receive.
Find your support network
When it comes to dealing with outside judgment about your relationship, Olson says, “Knowing other age-discrepant couples helps.”
Finding similar couples and creating a sense of community with them could also allow you and your partner to build friendships with others who “get it.”
Counseling
If you and your partner are finding it difficult to navigate these challenges alone, you can also bring in some outside support.
An understanding couples counselor could help you explore different avenues for handling these challenges and expressing your thoughts about them.
In any relationship, as well as those with large age differences, feeling secure with your partner is critical, reminds Porche. “You know who you are and what your relationship means to you,” she says.
If you find outside opinions are getting to you, Porche suggests this could be an opportunity to get curious and ask yourself why. It could help to consider if there’s anything you haven’t reconciled about the relationship or if there’s anything you would like to address with your partner.
While you might encounter judgment or stigma in response to your relationship, many factors can determine your relationship’s success — and age is just a small part of that picture.
Age difference of 15 years between a man and a woman
Age difference is not yet an obstacle to building strong romantic relationships and starting a family.
Unions, where one of the spouses is 15 years younger than the other, is no longer a rarity today. If earlier only men were awarded such a privilege, now women have followed suit - more and more beautiful mature women can be seen with younger companions.
In this article we will tell you what difficulties may arise in relations between a man and a woman, if one of them is 15 years younger, how to behave with a mature or vice versa younger man and what are the prospects for the development of such relationships.
What to expect from a man who is 15 years older than you
Of course, all men, like women, are different, and it would be a mistake to judge everyone strictly according to one criteria. Therefore, we will consider men in three main types. The representatives of the stronger sex of mature age can be conditionally divided into inveterate bachelors, womanizers and those who personally experienced all the “charms” of the age crisis. Relations with each of the presented types of men will have their own characteristics - both negative and positive.
Relationship with an inveterate bachelor
This type includes those men who, only at the age of 40-45-50, decided to tie themselves into previously frightening marital ties, because they realized the full horror of loneliness and were afraid of the prospect of growing old without having built a family. Waking up one day in their empty, homeless bachelor apartment, they suddenly realize that it's time for them to look for a wife and have children.
Such a man, not previously burdened with caring for his family and its well-being, as a rule, has succeeded in his professional activities, provided himself financially for several years in advance, perhaps even acquired his own housing. Previously, he believed that the family would only complicate his life and prevent him from realizing his ambitions, but now he feels confident and, accordingly, is ready to take full responsibility for his wife and children.
An alliance with an "old" bachelor is very favorable for two main reasons.
Firstly, he has already accumulated a wealth of life experience, has become much wiser in life matters, so he will not provoke conflicts and assert himself by sorting things out. Regarding the woman or girl he liked, he has only serious intentions - he already considers her as the mother of his future heirs.
Secondly, he is mature for children and will be a wonderful, caring, involved father in the life of a child. This factor can be both a plus and, unfortunately, a minus for a woman. It all depends on whether she is ready for the appearance of children. The age of the woman herself does not matter here - for some, the maternal instinct wakes up only in adulthood, while others even at the age of 18 are already burning with the desire to become a mother.
Relationship with a womanizer man
He understands women, because, as a rule, he has a lot of novels and even several marriages behind his back. In family relationships, he is far from a novice - he knows how to behave with a woman, how to please her, how to cheer her up, what gifts to give, he will not forget to call and warn when he is late for a long time.
Previous wives taught him a lot.
But, in addition to a huge number of pluses, there are also negative sides. Since he had many women, he, of course, has something and with whom to compare. He is accustomed to diversity, so in terms of relationships he is very spoiled. His new chosen one must combine the advantages of all those women who were before her, otherwise she also risks becoming an ex for him. This is a rather difficult test for a woman. If you fell in love with a man older than you, and even a womanizer, then be prepared for the fact that he probably had children from previous marriages, so he will never belong to you completely.
Relationship with a married man
At a certain age, any man has a turning point when he begins to analyze his life - what has been done, what has not been done, what will happen next - and for some, such self-analysis does not pass without a trace and without consequences: namely about such representatives of the stronger sex they say "the demon hit in the ribs.
"
The classic variant: a man married quite early, most likely, the same age, it was about 20 years ago, the wife completely immersed herself in the life of children, often depriving him of attention and not admiring him as a man. At this turn, the well-known middle-age crisis happens. A man begins to pay attention to young women, with one of them he starts an affair, which helps him feel young and attractive again.
Young girls who decide to have a relationship with a married man, as a rule, have big and unrealizable illusions about him. A man in most cases will simply amuse his pride, and continue to live with his wife, because he is sorry to cross out so many years of his life. Even if he still decides to divorce, which will certainly not be easy for everyone, with conflicts, showdowns, division of property and other unpleasant consequences, this is still not a guarantee of the desired happiness.
A young mistress who dreams of the role of a wife, having achieved her goal, is often disappointed, because an affair with infrequent meetings and living together are completely different things.
That romance of secret meetings disappears, a number of duties appear (laundry, cooking, etc.) - and now you are the same wife, only a decade and a half younger. Disappointment can befall not only you, but also a man, which will further shake such a relationship. There is also a chance that everything will turn out well, because some spouses part peacefully, without claims to each other, and past relationships become a springboard for building a new strong family.
Pros and cons of relations with a mature man
The development of relations between a man and a woman depends not only on their interests, the environment in which they were brought up, the very upbringing, environment, attitude towards the opposite sex, life goals and ideals, but also on age. Age difference leaves its mark on relationships, whether we like it or not, and its influence can be both positive and negative. We invite you to understand all the pros and cons of an alliance with a man who is a decade and a half older than you.
Benefits
It should be noted that there are actually a lot of positive aspects in a relationship with a mature man, because a man, as you know, "grows up" much later than a woman, so the difference is even 15 years, if we take into account the psychological development of the stronger sex, not so great.
- Seriousness of intent
As a rule, an adult man already clearly knows what he wants. The riot of hormones is long behind, so in a woman he now appreciates not so much external attractiveness as her inner world. If he is interested in you, it means that you stand out from your peers in some way besides your appearance - you are wiser than them, it is more interesting to communicate with you, it is fun to be with you, you share his interests, etc.
Such a man will not get involved in a showdown, zealously proving his case - he prefers meaningful conversations that take into account the opinion of each partner.
He will not leave after a quarrel, slamming the door, because he is not 20 years old; he prefers to settle differences peacefully. But he expects exactly the same attitude from his chosen one. A relationship with a mature man has prospects - if you are interested in him, then you can be sure of the seriousness of his intentions.
- Material stability
Even if you do not pursue mercantile goals in a relationship with a mature man, his material security will in any case be a plus. You can do what you really like in life, which, in addition to income, also brings pleasure, and this will have a very favorable effect on your relationship. You can do something for yourself, for example, get another higher education, enroll in some courses, etc.
In addition, you will have more time for your lover and children. A man who is financially secure is a reliable support and support for a woman, and this is very important in family relationships.
After all, most of the problems that young couples face are predominantly material in nature.
- Wisdom, tolerance and respect
Young people, unfortunately, are able to show responsibility and be purposeful, as a rule, only in those areas that are related to their career and personal growth. In love relationships, they tend to show stubbornness and impatience. That is why for many young girls the age difference is more of a plus than a minus - with a mature man they feel needed and protected.
It is sometimes easier to find a common language with a mature man, because he is ready to listen to you and try to take your place. Of course, quarrels are possible in any couples, no one is immune from this, regardless of age. But still, they will occur much less frequently and with less destructive consequences for relationships.
- Help with personal growth
If a man is several years older than you, then he is, accordingly, wiser - without noticing it, you will reach for him.
No wonder there is a proverb "with whom you will behave ...". This will contribute to your personal development and improvement - you will become wiser, more tolerant, more restrained. Plus, a mature man can always help with advice in professional matters, contribute to the development of your career or business.
Disadvantages
Of course, such a difference in age cannot pass without leaving a negative imprint on your relationship. But this should be taken calmly, there is nothing to worry about, because some shortcomings can be found in any relationship, not only with a mature man, but also with a peer.
- Jealousy
Of course, jealousy is characteristic of many men, regardless of age, but in the case when a woman meets an elderly man, this problem is especially relevant. Despite the fact that the man has already taken place both professionally and financially, and, it would seem, is confident in himself, the feeling of jealousy is not alien to him.
He worries, even if he does not show it, that the young lover will go to a peer. He may have doubts about your constancy, because once he was young and can put himself in your place. In some cases, his suspicions can turn into paranoia with its inherent inhibitions and excessive control.
- Reproaches
The difference in age, when a man is much older than his chosen one, often gives rise to all sorts of reproaches on his part. Of course, this is not a common feature of all mature men, but it is still characteristic of some - they believe that by providing a woman financially and helping her, for example, in business or career, they can remember this during a quarrel or bring it as argument in a dispute.
- Former family
Having decided on a relationship with a man who is 15 years older than you, you must be prepared for the fact that he had a serious relationship before you, a family, in addition, he probably has children who connect him with those past relationships.
It is good if the former spouses parted peacefully and wish each other only happiness, but this does not happen in all families. Finding out the relationship with your ex-wife can negatively affect your relationship. Children also do not always support a father who decides to build a new family, especially with a young woman.
How to behave with a man if he is 15 years older
15 years is a significant difference. Of course, it doesn't always feel the same. For example, if you are 25 and the chosen one is 40, then this age gap seems very large, and when, for example, you are 40 and he is 55, then it becomes not so noticeable. In any case, this distance will always be present between you, so it is important to know how to behave in order to maintain such a relationship.
- Do not make him jealous
The younger you are, the more attention the representatives of the stronger sex pay to you - this fact is unlikely to provoke a mature man to jealousy, on the contrary, he will be pleased that such an attractive young woman is next to him.
But if you start to reciprocate the signs of attention given to you, flirt with other men, albeit in jest, to amuse your pride, then this will make him jealous. He will begin to compare himself with younger men, and this comparison may not always be in his favor.
- Don't try to fix the man
Even at the age of 30 it is almost impossible to re-educate a man, and even more so at 40 and more. He has already formed his own system of views, interests and values, so all your attempts, at best, will lead to nothing, and at worst, they will push your loved one away from you. It is better for you to discuss your views on life and goals in advance. It only makes sense to continue such a relationship if you want the same thing.
- Do not interfere with communication with children from a previous marriage
If a woman can become an ex, then children - never; they remain a part of a man's life. Do not limit their communication, do not try to quarrel them - it is better to try to build relationships with his children, no matter how old they are.
Congratulate them on the holidays, invite them to visit, take an interest in their life. By drawing attention to yourself, you will only worsen your relationship with your lover.
- Try to match your chosen one
You should give up frivolous youth outfits that expose your body too much, so the age difference will be less noticeable to others and your lover will have fewer reasons for jealousy. If he prefers to wear stylish expensive things, then it will not hurt you to reconsider your wardrobe. Defiant makeup, too, leave in the past. Do not be afraid that a stylish discreet look will make you look older, on the contrary, it will emphasize your natural beauty and make you more feminine.
- Grow
As we have already said, mature men appreciate in a woman and her inner world. Therefore, try to develop in areas that interest you, read more, be interested in events taking place in the world, as well as areas that are of interest to your chosen one.
Frivolous young ladies who have nothing but appearance are unlikely to interest a serious mature man for a long time. In addition, the age difference is manifested not only externally, but also in terms of outlook on life. If you develop, work on yourself, then you will have much more in common with your beloved.
- Listen to his advice
No matter how old a man is, he wants to feel needed by the woman he loves. If you listen to his opinion, then it will be very valuable and pleasant for him, and useful for you, because he is not only older than you, but also wiser. Let him solve your problems and help with advice - this will favorably affect your relationship with him.
Unions of mature men with young women have long been a given and do not cause violent condemnation from the public. Someone may call your couple "dad and daughter", but no more. But if a woman meets a man younger than herself, especially when the age difference is more than a dozen years, then the situation is completely different - such a union is condemned not only by society, but often by close people.
What causes such injustice? Why, if a woman in her 40s and 50s still looks young and attractive, can't she start a romantic relationship with a younger man? All this is prejudice, and nothing more. Of course, women are more vulnerable in this regard. Firstly, many young people are only interested in their material well-being in mature women, and secondly, women age much faster than men, so the risk that a young lover will find a younger darling in the future is also great.
Even if a man is much younger than you, this is not an obstacle to building strong romantic relationships. Difficulties, of course, will be, without them any relationship is unthinkable. The main thing is to behave correctly and not be afraid of condemnation. What does it matter what others think about it? We have prepared for you some tips that will help you avoid difficulties in such relationships and protect yourself from possible problems.
- Evaluate your chosen one objectively
Because of falling in love, we are sometimes ready to turn a blind eye to many things, and this can cause future disappointments.
To protect yourself from mental trauma, take a closer look at your young gentleman. He should give you not only his company, but also a sense of protection, stability, attention and love. If this is not the case, then it is likely that the young man is primarily interested in your material wealth.
- Don't get hung up on your age
Do not focus on the number of years you have lived. If you constantly tell yourself that you are old, that your relationship is a mistake, then eventually you will convince your chosen one of this. On the contrary, forget about your age. When a woman meets a younger man, she herself begins to look younger and blossoms again.
- Clean up your feelings
Very often women confuse falling in love with a young man with maternal instinct, desire to take care of someone or pity. Such relationships are devoid of future in advance. If you do not feel love for the young chosen one or just sexual attraction, then perhaps you should stop this “romance”.
- Don't be a mommy
The difference in age does not give you the right to teach your younger lover. Of course, you are wiser than him in some matters, but try to convey your experience not so clearly so that it does not turn into moralizing. Otherwise, he will begin to look at you not as an attractive woman, but as a mother.
- Love yourself and take care of yourself
Youth, unfortunately, is short-lived, every year we do not get younger, therefore, in order to remain desirable and beautiful for longer, it is necessary to make considerable efforts. Next to a young lover, you simply do not have the right to look unattractive. It is not necessary to resort to radical measures for this, to decide on dangerous operations and so on, it is enough just to provide full-fledged skin and hair care and not neglect makeup. Wanting to look younger, some women start wearing youthful clothes and make bright makeup - this is a gross unforgivable mistake.
By such actions, you will only emphasize your age and even add five more years to yourself.
- Clarify relationships
In order for your future life to develop successfully, it is advisable to discuss in advance all plans for the future and find out the interests of each other. Perhaps your man wants to have a child, but you already have children and you do not want to become a mother again, or maybe vice versa.
Of course, all people are unique in their own way, everyone has their own attitude to life and their own values, so it is rather difficult to predict how relationships will develop in a couple where one of the partners is younger. It is also important to take into account that there is a difference not only in the calendar, but also in the psychological age.
Some young people have a more mature mindset than older men. In the same way, some young girls are superior in their wisdom to older women. Therefore, first of all, listen only to your heart - and everything will work out for you!
Source: www.
jlady.ru
difference in the age of 15 years with the future husband
#1
9000 #2
Nature.
#3
#4
9000 #5 9000
Gost
2222 And who is older? You didn't write.
#6
#7
9000 #8 9000
#9
Angela
I am now divorcing my husband.
Age difference is 17 years. me for 4 years of marriage, which you won’t wish on your enemy (I’m sure that all our differences are precisely because of the difference in age. 11
#11
Anna
When you got married, did you love him?
#12
I saw more negative examples.
I dated a girl 18 years younger, but I wouldn't have dreamed of creating a family with her :)
Only temporary relationships - for a girl for experience, gifts and pleasant leisure, for a man just to get high from a young body.
Do not rush to the registry office
#13
#14
Sugar daddy
The difference is big.
I know examples of successful marriages, but this is when a man is physically and psychologically younger than his years, and a woman is already at 20 a couch potato.
I saw more negative examples.
I dated a girl 18 years younger, but I wouldn't have dreamed of creating a family with her :)
Only temporary relationships - for a girl for experience, gifts and pleasant leisure, for a man just to get high from a young body.
Do not rush to the registry office
#15
Stump
No, guys, I "like" - he is 15 years older and all "MCH". Even if he is 35, it means that he is under forty - a little more and he is a rotten stump. If he is "MCH", then the author is generally a baby.
#16
Try, in the end marriage is not a deadline, it is not necessary to sit until the end))
#17
Guest
I think it's normal when you're lying in bed and next to you is the SAME young body as you are.
15 years is a big difference.
#18
Angela
Very strongly and now I understand that at first I turned a blind eye to many bells. I thought that since we love each other, we will cope with all the problems.
#19Anna The fact is that if you take care of yourself, then there will be no rottenness. I don’t worry about appearance)))) he loves himself very much, and like not every woman.
Well, it doesn't really matter.
For America, 15 years is a big difference, in Russia it is much more common. This is a minus. But in America, serious divorce legislation is a plus)) a young wife is an adult wealthy uncle with a naked f.. He won’t expose if anything
#21
she returned and did not run away.
#22
Sugar daddy
I lived in America for half a year, I wouldn't say that everyone looks young. The upper middle class - yes, who goes to fitness clubs, plays tennis, buys organic food. Low-income people do not look better than Russians, there are a lot of fat ones.
Well, it doesn't really matter.
For America, 15 years is a big difference, in Russia it is much more common. This is a minus. But in America, serious divorce legislation is a plus)) a young wife, an adult wealthy uncle with a naked f.
Galimov Ildar
Family psychologist
236 answers
Vladimir Titarenko
Fitness nutritionist
6 answers
Maria Burlakova
Psychologist
219 answers
Ekaterina Golikova
Psychologist
46 answers
Maxim Sorokin
Practicing psychologist
781 answers
Sergey Veksler
Psychologist
23 answers
Vera Vladimirovna Zolotykh
Psychologist
145 answers
Letosheva Tati
Expert in Eastern practices
6 answers
Alla Buraya
Psychologist
81 answers
Irina Gudkina
Psychologist
19 answers
#23
Anna
Sugar daddy I lived in America for half a year, I would not say that everyone looks young.
The upper middle class - yes, who goes to fitness clubs, plays tennis, buys organic food. Low-income people do not look better than Russians, there are a lot of fat ones.
Well, it doesn't really matter.
For America, 15 years is a big difference, in Russia it is much more common. This is a minus. But in America, serious divorce legislation is a plus)) a young wife is a well-to-do adult uncle with a bare f. Whoever doesn’t eat there and earns normally, everyone takes care of themselves, because if you look bad, they will kick you out of work or not take you to a fastener.
In any class there are both fat and skinny. But there are enough 50-year-old fat people in any class. And impotent with money and good appearance is also full.
#24
But if a man has money, then there are people who want to.
#25
Like yours, he loves sports.
he dresses fashionably, no one notices such a significant difference with us ... He is younger than his years, and physically. and morally, as they wrote here)))) At first, I didn’t even know how old he was! I didn't think it could be so much)0003
Therefore, do not listen to the public, which is AGAINST ... I know many such couples, and very successful ones!
I wish you good luck!!!
#26
Guest
AnnaSugar daddy I lived in America for half a year, I would not say that everyone looks young. The upper middle class - yes, who goes to fitness clubs, plays tennis, buys organic food. Low-income people do not look better than Russians, there are a lot of fat ones.
Well, it doesn't really matter.
For America, 15 years is a big difference, in Russia it is much more common. This is a minus. But in America, serious divorce legislation is a plus)) a young wife is a well-to-do adult uncle with a bare f.
Whoever doesn’t eat there and earns normally, everyone takes care of themselves, because if you look bad, they will kick you out of work or not take you to a fastener.
yes, fairy tales are all about work.
In any class there are both fat and skinny. But there are enough 50-year-old fat people in any class. And impotent with money and good appearance is also full.
Invented stories
-
I am infuriated by my husband with his children and grandchildren ...
770 answers
-
The man immediately warned that all property was written to children
689 answers
-
Such a salary - I do not want to work
472 answers
-
A lie 22 years long. How to destroy?
761 answer
-
Husband left, 2 months of depression... How will you cope if you are left all alone?
172 answers
#27
Now I am 35, my husband is 49.
I have a son, 7 years old. I'm not going to get a divorce, my husband is not a millionaire. Gonna live until death do us part.
Health concerns. It is known that Russian men do not shine with health. Mine also had high blood pressure, had an ischemic stroke. So it is quite possible that I should be a nurse with him. I know men over 50, very vigorous and not sick. But it depends on how a man spent his youth. My husband didn't make good use of this time.
Yes, there was 1 marriage, there was a daughter. The BZ can’t say anything about the old male, although I admit that she would like to. She is now 52 years old, she has not remarried.
About potency. Everything is fine with her. Worth it. February 11, 2013 , soon the wedding! (Not pregnant)
I have him, like yours, he loves sports. he dresses fashionably, no one notices such a significant difference with us ... He is younger than his years, and physically. and morally, as they wrote here)))) At first, I didn’t even know how old he was! I didn't think it could be so much)0003
Therefore, do not listen to the public, which is AGAINST .
.. I know many such couples, and very successful ones!
I wish you good luck!!!
#29
Guest
Author, I am 19, a young man, and a month later I have a HUSBAND, 31) We met for 2 years, we live together for a year, we applied to the registry office that month , soon the wedding! (Not pregnant)
I have him, like yours, he loves sports. he dresses fashionably, no one notices such a significant difference with us ... He is younger than his years, and physically. and morally, as they wrote here)))) At first, I didn’t even know how old he was! I didn't think it could be so much)0003
Therefore, do not listen to the public, which is AGAINST ... I know many such couples, and very successful ones!
I wish you good luck!!!
#30
Guest
I was 20, my husband was 35 when they started living together.
Now I am 35, my husband is 49. I have a son, 7 years old. I'm not going to get a divorce, my husband is not a millionaire. Gonna live until death do us part.
Health problems. It is known that Russian men do not shine with health. Mine also had high blood pressure, had an ischemic stroke. So it is quite possible that I should be a nurse with him. I know men over 50, very vigorous and not sick. But it depends on how a man spent his youth. My husband didn't make good use of this time.
Yes, there was 1 marriage, there was a daughter. The BZ can’t say anything about the old male, although I admit that she would like to. She is now 52 years old, she has not remarried.
About potency. Everything is fine with her. Worth it.
#31
guest , soon the wedding! (Not pregnant)
I have him, like yours, he loves sports. he dresses fashionably, no one notices such a significant difference with us .
.. He is younger than his years, and physically. and morally, as they wrote here)))) At first, I didn’t even know how old he was! I didn't think it could be so much)0003
Therefore, do not listen to the public, which is AGAINST ... I know many such couples, and very successful ones!
I wish you good luck!!!
31 it's nothing at all. Since you're only 19, you don't understand this. My husband has a brother, 32 years old, you won’t give it at all. The young man is simple. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke.
By the way, in psychology... He is my first man. So, maybe I chose a husband older than myself, because. as a child, she was deprived of her father .. Subconsciously already here. My parents divorced I was 4 years old
#32
find common themes? How are you psychologically with him all the years[/quote]
Everything is fine. I have never been interested in peers.
I am a late child with my parents, apparently this fact has shaped my tastes. I feel more mature in my soul. And I am mentally more comfortable with an older person.
And I share his interests. Both in music and in cinema. He also treats mine with understanding.
In recent years, it has become a little difficult. He had an ischemic stroke. The tomogram shows many small foci where blood did not get. He was not paralyzed, no. But I think these brain injuries affected his personality. bilious, harmful. Although it may be years, and we will all change not for the better .... But I have been living with him for so long ... I just close my eyes to it. It's easier to agree and do it your way.
#33
#34
Guest
Guest, I am 19, a young man, and a month later a husband, 31 ) We met for 2 years, we live together for a year, we applied to the registry office that month, the wedding is coming soon! (Not pregnant)
I have him, like yours, loves sports.
he dresses fashionably, no one notices such a significant difference with us ... He is younger than his years, and physically. and morally, as they wrote here)))) At first, I didn’t even know how old he was! I didn't think it could be so much)0003
Therefore, do not listen to the public, which is AGAINST ... I know many such couples, and very successful ones!
I wish you good luck!!!
31 it's nothing at all. Since you're only 19, you don't understand this. My husband has a brother, 32 years old, you won’t give it at all. The young man is simple. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke.
What do I not understand?)
By the way, in psychology... He is my first man. So, maybe I chose a husband older than myself, because. as a child, she was deprived of her father .. Subconsciously already here. My parents divorced when I was 4 years old0003
#35
Guest
Everything is very individual! Married 6 years, I'm 31, he's 48, my daughter is 9 months old.
Better than this man, I can not imagine (in all respects) .. and plus life's wisdom is a great bonus! The main thing is his attitude towards you, and your feelings, of course.
#36
Guest
Everything is very individual! Married 6 years, I'm 31, he's 48, my daughter is 9months. Better than this man, I can not imagine (in all respects) .. and plus life's wisdom is a great bonus! The main thing is his attitude towards you, and your feelings, of course.
New topics
-
Like a boy
2 Answer
-
The girl found another partner
9 answers
-
does not want to live together
9000 9000 9000 9005 9005 9005 0012 What would you choose? -
What do you think about women doctors?
16 answers
6 answers
#37
#38
My sister also said.
They have a child, a husband 17 years older than her, married a little over 10 years. Now she can’t see him, he looked after himself so well, he looked youthful, and then he drastically aged, decrepit. And the sister is now looking for any reason to find fault and bring him to a divorce. He began to smell like an old man, lost weight, wrinkled literally in a year, she cannot sleep with him. But he has it.)
#39
#41
9000 #43
CASE CASE ALLACK ABOURSE , many in their youth stink worse than mature ones and vice versa.
I will give examples:
1) my first husband was the same age, he had hormones, stank, sweated worse than a dog, it is not treated, and he was aggressive.
the second husband is 20 years older, clean, does not stink, a wonderful lover in bed, and a wonderful friend, no aggression in 8 years.
And vice versa. Age is an abstract matter, the main thing is that it is good with a person, there are also many unhappy marriages with peers. Peers more often do not respect their wives, they are rude to them, rude, age has nothing to do with it. The main thing for a good person.
you will have time to get a divorce, marriage is not eternal. Men come and go.
#45
#46
BCN
and many young bald, look more patients, grinned worse. In Europe, mature men look better than you young Russians, and my husband is handsome, prettier than you.
#47
Anna
Stump
No, guys, I "like" - he is 15 years older and all "MCh".
Even if he is 35, it means that he is under forty - a little more and he is a rotten stump. If he is "MCH", then the author is generally a baby.
You know, I live in America, here men and women at 60 look like 30 year olds in Russia.)))))) And the thing is that if you take care of yourself, then there will be no rottenness. I don’t worry about appearance)))) he loves himself very much, and like not every woman.
#48
#49
9000 #50
GOST
GOST
GUST
AnnaKocheryzhka
No, guys, I "like" him - he is 15 years older and all "MCh". Even if he is 35, it means that he is under forty - a little more and he is a rotten stump.
