When you catch a narcissist cheating
10 Narcissist Cheating Signs & How to Confront Them
In This Article
Do you suspect your partner may be cheating on you? Do they tend to disappear for days on end and not answer your calls until they return? Do they get all accusatory when you confront them about disappearances and unfaithful behavior?
Are they constantly glued to their phone and shady on social media?
As much as you may not want to hear it, you may be dealing with a cheating narcissist.
These are only some of the common narcissist cheating signs. But before exploring them, let’s dig deeper into narcissistic cheater traits and the reasons for infidelity.
Who is a narcissistic person?
Narcissistic people often feel entitled and superior to others and have a massive ego that they need to feed regularly. They crave constant attention and want people to admire them.
They are self-centered, manipulative, and often project their infidelity to their partner.
They feel the need to control their partner, and that power trip isn’t satisfied with just one person. The more people they seduce, the more powerful they feel.
Do narcissists feel remorse for cheating on their partners?
Unfortunately, they don’t.
If they felt any guilt, they would perhaps be able to change their behavior and stop cheating.
No consequence is enough to turn them around because, in their eyes, cheating isn’t anything serious. It’s just a way to make them feel better about themselves.
And since they lack remorse for their actions, nothing stops them from doing it again.
Related Reading: Signs You Are Married to a Narcissist
Why do narcissists cheat and lie?
Narcissists often cheat because they have little to no self-control. It’s not usually in their nature to resist the temptation to feed their ego with new sources of attention.
Poor impulse control, a big ego, exaggerated feelings of self-importance, delusions of grandeur, lack of remorse, empathy and shame, and a constant need for narcissistic supply are the key reasons why narcissists lie and cheat on their partners.
Most of all, they simply think they can get away with it.
Now that you have a better idea of why narcissists lie and cheat, you may be wondering:
Do all narcissists cheat on their partners?
Narcissists and cheating often go hand in hand, but you’ll be happy to know that not all narcissists cheat.
You wouldn’t say that all cheaters are narcissists, would you? The same goes the other way around.
Just because your partner may have some narcissistic cheater traits doesn’t mean that they’re going to sneak behind your back and become unfaithful.
Still, a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) does make a person more likely to lie and cheat for no good reason and do it repeatedly.
Related Reading: How to Deal With a Narcissist in a Relationship?
10 signs a narcissist is cheating on you
Knowing narcissist cheating signs and how to recognize that your partner may be having an affair can save you a lot of potential pain and heartache.
These are the telltale narcissist cheating signs you should be aware of:
1. Disappearing frequently and being vague about their whereaboutsThe first in the list of narcissist cheating signs is that many cheating narcissists tend to drop off the face of the Earth regularly and not take their partner’s calls for hours or days on end.
Even if you live together, they may not find it difficult to find excuses to go away for several days. They could say they’re visiting a friend or a distant relative that lives in another city.
Obviously, they don’t need to disappear for long periods to have an affair. But if they’re unreachable for hours, they may be seeing someone else.
2. Flirting on social mediaFlirting with someone else on social media may be a sign a narcissist is cheating on you.
You know what they say, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”
If you confront your partner about it, they may say that they’re only friends.
However, if they’re publicly flirting on social media, it only means they don’t respect you or care about what you or others might think.
One of the narcissist cheating signs or for anyone, in general, is that when anyone is cheating, they usually communicate with their flings via text messages. That’s why their phone isn’t likely to leave their side. It’s also always password-protected.
If there’s a chance of their fling calling, they’re likely to keep their phone in silent mode and inside their pocket.
4. Accusing you of having an affair“The best defense is a good offense.”
If you accuse your narcissistic partner of having an affair, they’re probably going to deny it, even if it’s true.
But to turn the focus away from their infidelity, they might start accusing you of cheating. Projection is a narcissist’s defense mechanism and clearly one of the narcissist cheating signs that they use to play the victim and throw you off the scent.
Has your partner started paying much more attention to their hygiene and appearance? Have they started being sneaky and coming home late? Maybe they no longer answer their phone while you’re around?
If you notice any unusual behavior changes that indicate infidelity, and your gut is telling you that something fishy is going on, it may be one of those narcissist cheating signs, and you may be right.
6. Sudden changes in libidoIf your partner suddenly seems uninterested in you physically, they may be satisfying their needs elsewhere.
The same is true if they start displaying a higher libido than usual. It may mean that the person they’re cheating you with isn’t currently available, so they turn to you again.
7. Canceling plans frequentlyWhether you’re dating a cheating narcissist or you’re married to one, canceling plans at the last minute may be signs of a narcissist cheating as they’ve made other plans.
They may say it’s because of work or anything else important that came up. While that may be true at times, it screams infidelity if it happens all the time.
8. Avoiding a conversation about their cagey behaviorConfronting a narcissist about lies, cheating, and their cagey behavior only makes them behave shadier. They rarely want to talk things out because they aren’t likely to admit they’re seeing someone else, which is one of the important signs of a cheating narcissist.
If you accuse your partner of cheating, you may give them an excellent excuse to disappear for a while to avoid having a serious conversation.
9. Showering you with gifts out of the blueIf your partner isn’t used to buying you gifts, but they start doing it frequently, they may be trying to throw you off the scent of their unfaithful actions.
Making you feel special all of a sudden is one of the most common manipulation techniques of a narcissist.
They make their partners think they’re thoughtful and caring and that they would never cheat on them.
The video below talks about different games narcissists play, like dehumanizing, blame-shifting, etc. Find out more:
If you’re dating a cheating narcissist, you probably don’t have an insight into their spending. But if you’re married to one and discover unidentifiable charges on their credit card, they may be buying gifts for someone else.
Talking about finances are essential in marriage but such signs of a cheating narcissist are true if they insist you switch to separate bank accounts after having a joint account for years.
Related Reading: Can a Narcissist Change for Love?
What happens when you confront a narcissist cheater?
If you notice any of the red flags above and they turn out to be true, it’s important to understand that cheating is not your fault.
Most narcissists will cheat on anyone they’re with, especially when the relationship or marriage is already well-established.
It’s also crucial to understand that being cheated on by a narcissist doesn’t mean that you’re less intelligent than they are.
Quite the contrary.
Narcissists often think they’re cleverer than their partners and that they can get away with cheating. Underestimating their partners is how they make mistakes and get caught.
Now, confronting a narcissist cheater may not go the way you imagine.
When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they’ve been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they’re likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.
Getting angry and gaslighting you may also be their response.
But what happens when they can no longer deny the evidence? What if you catch them in the act?
Then they might blame you for their cheating.
They may think of a dozen reasons why it was allegedly your behavior that made them seek attention outside your relationship or marriage. Narcissists will say anything to turn the focus away from them and blame it on someone else.
Related Reading: What Revenge Tactics You Can Expect from a NarcissistTakeaway
If you can, try to talk with your partner
These narcissist cheating signs may not always indicate an affair. But if your partner displays those signs, you should have an honest talk with them to try and find out the reasons for their behavior. The way they respond when you confront them should tell you if they’ve been faithful or not.
If you want to work on your relationship, you should see a mental health professional or a relationship counselor to sort things out, especially if the relationship is not an abusive one.
But even if they haven’t been cheating, you may be better off without them.
You deserve a loving, caring, and loyal partner who respects you and makes you happy.
5 Signs Youre Dating A Cheating Narcissist
Have you ever encountered a dating partner who swept you off your feet, courted you persistently and made over-the-top declarations about the way they felt about you only to discover they had a girlfriend or boyfriend all along? How about the ex who kept checking in with you over text while in bed with their spouse? Or the shady significant other who always seemed to disappear for days, only to return with excuses about their whereabouts?
You may have come across a narcissistic or sociopathic personality type. Narcissists and sociopaths are notorious for engaging in both emotional and physical infidelity.Not only are narcissists players and pick-up artists in the dating world, they are also serial cheaters in relationships.
In fact, a wealth of research suggests that narcissism is positively correlated with having extramarital affairs and more sexually permissive attitudes towards infidelity, even when there is satisfaction in the present relationship (Foster, Shrira, & Campbell, 2006;Hunyady, Josephs, & Jost, 2008; Mcnulty & Widman, 2014).
The difference between your garden-variety cheater and the narcissist is that the narcissist isnt searching for just cheap thrills; they are searching for power and control beyond what is fathomable to normal empathic beings. Due to their stunning lack of empathy, penchant for exploitation and thirst for validation and narcissistic supply (sources of admiration, praise, sex, and any other resources they desire), narcissists create harems or fan clubs of admirers, ex-lovers and potential mates which they can feed off of all while maintaining a long-term relationship with a primary partner. They have an insatiable need for validation and attention. When combined with their sense of sexual entitlement, this makes them dangerous predators who place their partners at high risk for emotional and physical repercussions.
Their ability to gaslight their victims into believing in them, their capacity to dupe multiple victims, to manipulate and manufacture fabrications long-term is what makes them such stellar performers.
Frankly, the numerous ways they convincingly present a false mask and warp reality are astounding and can create massive cognitive dissonance in their victims. This duplicity allows them to dupe not only their partners but also society as a whole into believing that they are the charming, upright, moral and honest people they pretend to be.
Here are five signs you may be dating or involved in a relationship with a cheating narcissist.
Beware of the grandstanding narcissist who deals in contradictions and hypocrisy. Grandstanding is a habit of the covert narcissist someone who boldly declares how honest and trustworthy they are repeatedly, yet fails to follow through with their words time and time again.
When someone constantly talks about how much they believe in integrity and honesty, that can be a red flag in itself. Ask yourself: why would someone who is truly decent and honest have to reaffirm these qualities to those around him or her? Those with authentic integrity do not have to always talk about the fact that they possess this quality they live their integrity through their actions more than their words.
If someone appears too good to be true, chances are, they probably are. Narcissists are often wolves in sheeps clothing. They project a different image of themselves to the world which contradicts who they really are within. They often speak in absolutes, claiming that they would never lie to you or cheat on you. They overemphasize their trustworthiness because they know their character is hollow.
While people who are not narcissists can do this as well, narcissists who are serial cheaters will often volunteer information early on about how they were cheated on. This is to depict themselves as the victims of infidelity when they were frequently the perpetrator of it in their past relationships.
Watch out for anyone who appears to display the red flags of cheating all while claiming they themselves were the victims of cheating. This is projection and gaslighting to keep you off-balance and keep you doubting your own instincts about their character.
If youre in the early stages of exclusively dating a narcissist, you might notice that he or she tends to disappear often without a word or cancels plans last minute (or makes plans with you last minute).
You might mistake this for mere flakiness, when in reality, it could be a sign that they are knee-deep in other dates or in hot pursuit of new victims.
Its common for narcissists to continue dating others evenif youve both agreed to be exclusive. Narcissists have a high degree of entitlement, so they feel entitled to the rush that new supply grants them as well as sex or any other resources offered by their other harem members.
“Another common trait of the chronic narcissist is his or her pattern of not following through on agreements and obligations. This can range from the relatively mild, such as flaking out on appointments and tasks, to the highly serious, such as abandoning major responsibilities and relationships (commitments). Being self-centered and conceited, the narcissist will generally meet his or her obligations only when they suit his self-interest. Chronic narcissists do not relate, they use. They talk a good talk, but often fail to back it up.
” – Preston Ni, 8 Common Narcissist Lies
Be wary of someone who constantly cancels on you or rarely responds with consistency. There is no such thing as reliability, punctuality or honesty with a narcissist they will place their multiple romantic prospects on rotation to suit their needs at whim and they will be indifferent to the pain or inconvenience they cause their partners when they suddenly pull out of plans on the day of or when they stand you up.
In long-term abusive relationships where stonewalling is common, cheating narcissists often use periods where theyre giving you the silent treatment to pursue their other targets. Thats why youll find that the narcissist asks you for a break or might even manufacture arguments out of thin air its simply an excuse to leave the relationship temporarily at bay while they explore their other options.
Narcissists and sociopaths use social media as a way to create love triangles among their targets. It gives them a sense of validation and power knowing that they have so many admirers who are willing to bend over backwards and give them the praise and attention they constantly need.
This suspicious behavior on social media can manifest in a variety of ways. Narcissists are known to be on dating apps even while committed and can also engage in obvious flirting both online and offline. Their shady behavior can range from their nefarious possession of dating apps to more innocuous online activity. You might notice that the narcissist posts strangely provocative or flirtatious comments on the photos of other attractive men or women.
Perhaps they refuse to put up a relationship status with you or they do, but they continue to openly hit on others or add suspicious new friends who seem to be far more than just friends. They may also follow a large volume of sexually explicit accounts. If someone youre dating exclusively (or even just flirting with) appears to already be in numerous relationships on social media all while claiming youre the only one, its time to reevaluate.
If they already have a relationship status listed with someone even while claiming they are no longer with them, it’s wise to notto take the narcissist at his or her word.
Either verify with the other person that the relationship really is over like the narcissist claims or detach from the narcissist completely.
You might even be in a situation with a narcissist who has no social media accounts. This could be a way for them to protect themselves after all, if none of their other partners know that the narcissist is in a relationship, its far harder to be caught in this digital age.
This is quite an obvious sign, but its one that isnt often spoken about. If you see strange occurrences of victims that the narcissist has dated in the past calling them out publicly or going out of their way to warn you about them, take a step back. Its common that if a narcissist has a wide pool of victims, at least a couple of them will attempt to speak the truth about what they experienced.
The narcissist will claim these people who are speaking out about them are crazy liars or stalkers. In their smear campaigns, theyll bemoan how their past victims were obsessed with them or that they just couldnt let go.
Its easy to depict past victims of narcissists as unhinged and the narcissist knows this. They will preemptively strike by telling lies about victims so that by the time these people reach out to warn you or tell their side of the story, youll already be more inclined to believe the narcissist.
The truth is that the person in question is warning you for a good reason they probably have experienced the infidelity themselves and want to prevent heartache for present and future victims. Dont be so quick to assume that every past lover who comes out of the woodwork simply has a vendetta. Survivors of narcissists are not obsessed they are often traumatized and looking for answers.
Narcissists and sociopaths are masters of pathological lying. They gain a sense of duping delight from being able to pull the wool over the eyes of their many romantic prospects. Sometimes, they lie to protect themselves and to prevent themselves from being caught cheating. They may lie about where they were the night before or tell elaborate tales about who the “friend” they were seen with really was.
However, other times, they may lie even when they have no reason to do so at all. For them, its about power and being able to control a persons perception gives them a thrill and sadistic sense of superiority and pleasure.
When it comes to infidelity, a narcissist or sociopath has no qualms lying to your face all while emphasizing how much they value honesty and transparency. They may have a primary girlfriend or boyfriend, even a spouse who they have (at least on the surface) committed to. Perhaps they even post romantic pictures with their significant partner and praise them on social media. However, they will not think twice about cheating on and gaslighting those same partners.
They also have no moral code that would prevent them from doing the unthinkable – no time limits or boundaries on when, where or how they’ll cheat or even who they’ll cheat with. They could be on a romantic vacation in Italy with you, all while swiping on Tinder and sending explicit videos to strangers.
Or, if youre not their primary partner, they could be spending the weekends with their girlfriend all while taking you out on weeknights. You would never know, unless you began investigating.
As they do this, the risk of getting caught only adds to the thrill. They enjoy manipulating. They enjoy the sex, the resources, the endless supply of admiration coming their way. But most of all? They enjoy being able to get away with it.
If you notice these red flags, know that this person is unlikely to change. The way they have mistreated you was not personal they do this to all their victims and are loyal to no one, not even their primary partner.
It was not your fault that you were targeted by this predatory personality. However, what you do next with the knowledge you have is important. The earlier you detach from this toxic personality, the better chance you have of healing and of moving forward onto the loyal relationship you truly deserve.
ReferencesFoster, J.
D., Shrira, I., & Campbell, W. K. (2006). Theoretical models of narcissism, sexuality, and relationship commitment. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23(3), 367-386. doi:10.1177/0265407506064204
Hunyady, O., Josephs, L., & Jost, J. T. (2008). Priming the Primal Scene: Betrayal Trauma, Narcissism, and Attitudes Toward Sexual Infidelity. Self and Identity, 7(3), 278-294. doi:10.1080/15298860701620227
Mcnulty, J. K., & Widman, L. (2014). Sexual Narcissism and Infidelity in Early Marriage. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 43(7), 1315-1325. doi:10.1007/s10508-014-0282-6
Ni, P. (2014, August 14). 8 Common Narcissist Lies. Retrieved August 26, 2018, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201608/8-common-narcissist-lies
Featured image licensed via Shutterstock.
Learn more about: Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Signs of infidelity or how to live with a narcissist.
FIVE SIGNS OF MALE CHEATING
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"Don't get into our love triangle - there are seven of us anyway" 😆
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It would be funny if it weren't so sad. According to statistics, 86% of women face male infidelity in their lives 😒Signs that may indicate that indeed, an extra angle has appeared in a couple:
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⚖️ TIRED AT WORK
He comes home exhausted, detached, does not want to, as before , talk to you. When you ask "What happened?" Nothing, just tired. And so day after day. A reason to be wary if this fatigue has become sudden.
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⚖️ BECOME PICKING
If he compares you with his new passion, then, definitely, the comparison will be in her favor😕 if only because he has not yet had time to know her to the end, and everything became clear with you from and to, for last 15 years. And now he already sees flaws in you and finds fault from scratch: she left the cup in the sink, put on too bright makeup, stayed at work. Has he often complained to you? Attack is the best defense.
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⚖️PASSWORDS APPEARED
Previously, his phone was on the table, and you could easily take it, but now he hides it, just like his death? In a bag, a bag in a duck, a duck in a hare and all this under passwords, codes, fingerprints ... perhaps worth thinking about😔
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⚖️ CONSTANTLY MISSING
Closes in the toilet for 45 minutes. Leaves to walk the dog for 2 hours instead of 30 minutes. He stays late at work every day, citing overtime. On weekends he hangs out with friends, but he doesn’t take you with him. All this is suspicious 🙄
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⚖️NEW HABITS
Suddenly signed up for the gym. Suddenly quit smoking, suddenly grew a beard. Suddenly he began to play the guitar again, as in his student days, and in general he suddenly became more confident in himself. I began to carefully monitor my appearance and use a new perfume. Of course, such changes are for the better, but it is worthwhile to figure out what (or who?) caused them? 🤔
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One of the favorite methods of the narcissist is triangulation, or in other words, the love triangle.
Hearing this term, the victims usually represent as one of the sides of the triangle the partners who came to replace them, but this is not always the case. Narcissists use triangulation all the time to validate their own worth and to keep you in a state of excruciating uncertainty. To do this, they use anything and anyone:
🔱 Your family members;
🔱 Family members;
🔱your friends;
🔱My friends;
🔱 Former partners;
🔱Potential future partners;
🔱Total strangers.
🔱Cat, dog, job...
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Narcissists create situations in which you are forced to be jealous and doubt their loyalty. In normal relationships, people are looking for an opportunity to prove they are trustworthy, while narcissists do exactly the opposite. They constantly hint that they have other options or spend time with other people on purpose to keep you in constant anxiety. And they will always deny it, calling you crazy to keep you insecure.
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The problem is that during the seduction stage you are used to increased attention paid to yourself, so you feel very strange and confused when they shift the focus of attention to other people.
Narcissists know this. They “forget” about joint plans and prefer to spend a few days with friends who are forced to listen to their complaints about you. They will ignore you in order to spend more time with their family, which at first was said to be terrible people, they will seek sympathy from former partners, explaining this by the fact that they are connected by ties of a special friendship that you cannot understand. And often—if not always! - they characterize previous partners as crazy and heartless. Seeking attention, sympathy, and comfort from strangers behind your back is a very common tactic of narcissists.
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You, as an empathic person, a constant partner, rightfully believe that you can give him the necessary comfort. You used to always help him, so what has changed now? Once he said that he was crushed by circumstances, and you literally revived him to life.
But now he's back to his "special friendship," his past relationship, because there's something you can't understand.
At the same time, he cannot do otherwise than by poking you into it with his nose.
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Let's move on to the next topic - social networks.
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Modern technology makes it easier for narcissists to manipulate through triangulation. It can be as simple as expressing sympathy or liking a comment from a previous partner, while ignoring your feelings. They will “accidentally” post photos on their page with a previous partner, whom they previously remembered only with hatred. It would seem that they act unintentionally and you attribute their actions to their tactlessness, but make no mistake: tricks are carefully calculated. They will post ambiguous statuses, songs, videos that hint that you might "lose" their love. They share links that will supposedly lure new and old victims into their network. They kill two birds with one stone at the same time. With one shot, they hit two targets: destroy your personality and lure other victims.
On the one hand, this is a painful prick to you, on the other hand, the misdeeds of narcissists are so insignificant that you will look like an inadequate jealous psycho if you mention your discontent.
They will always justify themselves in everything, while you will find yourself to blame. Covert violence is impossible to prove because it is always carefully camouflaged. You can't say that he is pinging his ex-partners by posting some songs on his profile, but intuitively you feel it. This is how they work to shake our psyches. Let's be honest: complaints about statuses and comments on social networks look frivolous. This is exactly what the narcissist wants: to put you in a stupid position.
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Narcissists are also great at surrounding themselves with generous but insecure people whose self-esteem is raised by caring for others. Your investments over time will be assessed as insignificant, opinions about you will change in the course of the relationship. Narcissists demonstratively begin to sympathize with others for qualities that you do not have, sometimes even for the exact opposite of yours.
Their purpose is simple: to let you know that you are no longer "special" to him.
You are replaceable. If you don't give him the honors he deserves, he will always get them from other people. And even if you become a source of positive emotions for him, they will still bother him over time. He doesn't need you. Fans of a new round of narcissistic play will look into his mouth and admire him, making you believe that he must be a truly unique person. However, take a closer look around. You will notice that they all seem to look smaller than him.
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The final triangulation occurs when the narcissist decides to leave you. A sign of readiness to break up is talking about how upsetting the connection with you causes him, and that he is not sure that he will be able to cope with this in the future. He may mention that he talked with his close friend about your relationship in great detail, and that they both came to the conclusion that this relationship is dysfunctional. At the same time, he brazenly ignores your desperate attempts to discuss everything. You will puzzle over why he does not want to talk to you about his concerns, because your relationship is primarily about the two of you.
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The reason, in fact, is that he has already decided to leave you, and now he is simply mocking you. He "consults" only with those people with whom he has the same points of view. And the "friend" with whom he discusses you is most likely slated as the next victim.
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After a breakup, he will openly brag about his "happiness" with a new partner, while most normal people in this situation would feel very uncomfortable and tried to hide the fact that they started a new relationship so quickly after breaking up. Even more surprising is that he seems to be waiting for you to be happy for him. Otherwise, you are just an embittered and envious person.
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The period of "dance on the bones" begins. If you humiliate yourself in front of a narcissist or beg him to come back, then most likely he is satisfied with the emotional display of attention in his address. He may feel contempt and triumph at the same time watching your behavior.
If you persist in trying to bring him to clean water, he will try everything to drive you to suicide.
Even if later you return to him with remorse, he will hate you, because once you spoke to him quite harshly. You saw too clearly the muzzle of a predator under the mask of a human face.
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That is why he constantly looms in front of you in the photos posted on the network, embracing with his new partner, publicly demonstrating his unearthly happiness. To prove their own well-being and impeccability. This is his latest attempt to drive you crazy with triangulation. So that you blame the new victim for everything, and not the true offender.
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Former partners who continue to feel attachment to the narcissist and remain "friends" with them do not understand that they have become puppets controlled by him. On the contrary, it seems to them that they are carrying out some high mission, fulfilling a friendly duty, expressing their readiness to always come to the rescue. What they don't realize is that the narcissist keeps them close to him to entertain him when he gets bored.
They do not notice that they are involved in numerous confrontations, not because friendship with a narcissist is something special and exceptional, but because the narcissist deliberately creates dramatic situations. They do this under the delusion that their friendship with the narcissist is some kind of special, unique, and rare relationship. But in fact, they are simply used for triangulation.
🔱1. He surrounds you with declarations of love and compliments.
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It seems to you that this is the perfect partner for you.
When you first meet a narcissist, things move quickly. He inspires you that you have a lot in common, that you are perfect for each other. Like a chameleon, it reflects your hopes, dreams, fears to form trusting and exciting relationships. He constantly wants to communicate with you and seems to be completely fascinated by you. Your social media wall will be littered with songs, compliments, poems, and cute jokes that only the two of you can understand.
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🔱2. He hunts for your emotions by telling compassionate stories.
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You will quickly find a place in your heart to pity him. Because he's so sweet and innocent. Completely different from the cinematic images of psychopaths - cruel men with a contemptuous smile in an expensive car. Surely he will mention his ex, who is still in love with him. But all he wants is peace and quiet, he hates drama. However, you will soon notice that dramatic stories constantly surround him and people close to him.
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🔱3. It involves you in a love triangle.
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After you are hooked, you will fall into a love triangle and even a polygon. The narcissist will surround himself with former and potential lovers and anyone who pays attention to him. There will be former ones that he told you about before and assured you that you are superior to them in everything. You will feel embarrassed, and you will get the impression that he is always in demand from the opposite sex.
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🔱4. He constantly distorts reality and behaves abnormally.
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The narcissist always denies that he is manipulating you and ignores even the actual evidence of this. He reacts critically and dismissively if you try to disprove his tales with facts. He will shift the blame for the situation on you: you are too impressionable and inadequately perceive the situation. He will convince you that the problem is not with him, but with your incorrect reaction to normal events.
🔱5. He accuses you of the emotions that he himself provokes.
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Narcissist will say that you are too jealous, although you openly flirted with your ex, often even on social networks, for everyone to see. He will say that you are too clingy, although he deliberately ignored you for several days. He provokes your reaction in order to show his other targets how hysterical you are and to evoke sympathy for himself. Do you think you are a calm person? Meeting a narcissist will change you beyond recognition.
Fortunately, temporarily.
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🔱6. You notice pathological lies and excuses.
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He always has an excuse, even in situations where it is not required. He comes up with another lie faster than you can ask a question. He constantly blames others, but he himself is always at fault. He spends time inventing explanations for his behavior rather than improving it. Even when caught in an outright lie, he does not express remorse or embarrassment. Sometimes it seems like he wanted you to catch him.
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🔱7. He provokes jealousy and rivalry while maintaining a mask of innocence.
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At first, the narcissist's attention is on you. And you don't understand what happens when he suddenly switches to another person. He constantly does things that make you doubt that you mean anything to him. If he is active in social networks, then he lures the former with songs, photos, jokes that were significant for their couple. He seems to be actively looking for a partner and at the same time ignores you.
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🔱8. It holds your attention and undermines your self-esteem.
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At first he showers you with a debilitating stream of admiration, and then he becomes uninterested in you. It hurts you, because you are already on fire with this passionate relationship. And now you feel like a housekeeper with him and nothing more.
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🔱9. The narcissist is selfish and demands relentless attention.
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He sucked all the energy out of you and filled your whole life with himself. He demands constant worship of himself. You thought that you were the only person capable of making him happy, but now you understand that anyone with a beating pulse is suitable for this role. But the truth is that no one can fill the void in the soul of a narcissist.
🔱10. You don't recognize yourself.
Your love and compassion has turned into overwhelming panic and anxiety. You apologize and cry more than you ever have in your life. You sleep poorly and wake up in a bad and anxious mood.
You cannot understand what happened to you, where is this cheerful, laid-back, calm person now? After communicating with a narcissist, you feel exhausted, devastated and deprived of an adequate perception of the world. Life rolls upside down: you spend money, break ties with friends and loved ones, and constantly look for the reason for these actions.
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Relationship with a narcissist is a black hole. No matter how much it hurts, you will always be to blame for everything. He ignores your best qualities, and self-doubt grows in you, you change beyond recognition. You will heal the traumas of these relationships for a long time, it will seem to you that everything will never be fine with you.
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But you can put your nerves in order. First of all, exclude all contacts with the narcissist: correspondence, letters, and even “spying” on him in social networks. At first, it will be unbearably difficult for you, but relief will come with time. You will feel that sanity is returning to you and chaos is leaving your life.
This experience may even be useful in the end. You will learn to value yourself and set boundaries for narcissists so they never disturb your peace again.
Narcissus male. How to break it?
In your life there was, is or will be a real daffodil. From now on, there will be no more such a problem and you will solve it. You don't have to be constrained or shackled by little things like some damn daffodils. From this day forward, narcissists will have problems.
I was often asked to write about a narcissist man, how to communicate with such a man, how to change him in your direction, how to recognize him, and so on.
Well, then.
Let's talk to you about this.
A narcissistic bastard who only thinks about his skinny ass is narcissistic! But bitch, you want to break him so much, he infuriates and causes a feeling of helplessness that you want to tear his skinny ass on the British flag.
An imperious almighty strong hand rests on his shoulder.
The Lord Himself gathered this guy on the road, straightened his hat, put a piece of bread and a glass of milk in his backpack. And he said in a thick bass - "Now you are vanity. Go to Earth and fuck the brains of this mean girl. Amen."
And here he is in front of you. In his best. And you think xs what to do with it. I'll go ask Google. And here you are in this article. in gray reality. Google VS God.
You know what? I myself am still that narcissist. And I don't care what other people think about it. I'm just directing my love for myself in the other direction.
You know, you're still that narcissist. It’s just that your excessive love is expressed in the fact that you roar constantly, feeling sorry for yourself or running after this guy, looking into his eyes faithfully and faithfully, like a stray dog.
You know, all people are still those daffodils.
For everyone this manifests itself in some kind of Zen. And I can not say that someone has more, someone less.
It just shows up differently. Everyone gets hit in the head differently.
Someone loves himself as an exemplary and well-groomed family man.
Someone loves himself as a notorious scoundrel, indifferent to the sufferings of others.
Someone loves himself as a victim and an eternally whining piece of shit.
We are all chess pieces made from the same material. Yes, we look a little different, but, in fact, the same.
The essence is that you have a member who loves himself very much and you can't do anything about it, or rather, he loves himself more than you, which clearly does not suit you.
He fucks himself, not you when he fucks you. And you want him to fuck only you.
That's sorted out. Move on.
A narcissist man infuriates you because YOU have no influence on his feelings. You do not control him and are afraid that he will simply score on you.
And maybe they tell you to stay away from them?
Is it necessary to run from a narcissist man?
Now I want to give you a sweet candy in your mouth.
Come closer. Open your mouth wide.
You must have heard more than once, or twice, or three, or four times that if you recognize a narcissist, then you need to jump up and turn 180 degrees in the air in order to get away from such a man as quickly as possible, sparkling with neon heels in the night.
So.
If you meet someone like that, then I advise you to take a closer look at him, because these assholes have a very strong trait that so many people lack. And this is the absence of infantilism. They always have a lot of energy and they often achieve a lot in life. They just spend a lot of time on narcissism and self-satisfaction (this is not what you thought). If they direct their vanity to their own affairs, if they stop doing garbage, they will succeed. If they direct their vanity to a woman, then this will be a strong family with great ambitions.
So if someone tells you that you need to fuck off a narcissist, then fuck off whoever tells you this. But before that, tell the speaker that Gordes sends him to hell.
Let it shut up.
Tasty candy, isn't it? Mouth, you can close, by the way.
So what to do with a narcissist man?
What options are on your mind? And even more interesting is the question - where did these options come from?
Before writing this fucking article, I picked up my phone, looked at it, entered something into the search engine and eventually dialed the psychologist's number online.
Without saying a word of greeting, he said that I was writing an article about daffodils and I wanted to ask a couple of questions so that the answers would be stated in the article.
How to communicate with a narcissist, how to react to him and is it possible to make him fall in love with you?
The answers were tedious terms and hackneyed platitudes and almost lulled me with their psychological monotony.
Don't give in, ignore, don't get into an argument blah, falling in love with him is impossible blah blah problematic, blah. It is necessary to avoid his blah blah.
Blah blah blah. And blah again.
For a long time now I want to take people who use the words "close gestalt" by the legs and lower their heads into the toilet. And try to close the toilet lid so as not to see the protruding Gestalt psychological twitching indignant legs from the toilet.
Without saying goodbye, I said - "I see." And turned off. I closed my toilet lid.
And I thought about what would happen if I sent a narcissist to a psychologist with a problem - I love only myself, I don't give a damn about others, and all the rest are dull shit. And I'm the best. I can't do anything about it. I love myself very much. Highly. Truth.
Well, I sent my friend, whom everyone called - "You damn daffodil." He whinnied for a long time, but nevertheless went, agreeing to the condition that I pay for everything.
When he returned, his verdict was this - "He rubbed me some kind of game, as my teacher at school read me morality. In short - garbage.
"
I didn't doubt it in the slightest.
He did not come thoughtful, did not want to change something in himself. He left with a smile, and returned with it. Then I broke that smile.
I asked him if he ever had times when he thought about other people and he just couldn't control it, so that it really pissed him off? That he did not want to think about anyone, but simply could not restrain himself...
He thought, his smirk went away, and he said in a hoarse voice - "Yes, there was one bitch"...
What am I I had absolutely no doubts and the basis of the article was already formed before he told me this. He just convinced me again.
So, daffodil. The man is a narcissist. Out of control and out of your control because you are too gray as a person. That person who always looks up - breaks down in front of bitches. And looks at their legs and hugs their legs.
Because the bitch is strong in spirit. And the narcissist man is strong in spirit.
She has commandments and that makes her a bitch. Especially pay attention to the very first commandment, which catches the narcissist to the quick.
It's time to think bitchy. Only a bitch can change a narcissist. No good methods will achieve this.
Only bad methods. Only the sound of a woodpecker on his temple.
How to communicate with a narcissistic man?
Read from left to right. And whisper it quietly out loud. I will write how to communicate with such men, what words to say to them so that they begin to think about their essence.
1. Drain his love for you.
Laugh at him - "You're like a chick spinning in front of a mirror, phew! A man should be brutal and confident, and not kiss his buttocks."
Your task is to make him feel dumb, so that he would be ashamed of being such a narcissistic piece of narcissism.
Narcissism is cool, but when it goes beyond - it's idiotic. And you have to poke his face into this shit.
Show that he is out of bounds. To feel this edge of idiocy. They don't like to be creepy, but you have to show that it looks creepy from the outside.
Who if not you? His mother will never do this, SHE STILL wipes his snot. So change. Change this guy. Although he loves himself, he is the same plasticine as you are.
2. Compare with men.
He considers himself the coolest of all just because everyone around him confirms this. We will capture this ship, plunder and sink.
Correct comparison is important here. It is necessary to compare not in the spirit: "And Max is cooler than you, he generally takes care of his girlfriend, and does not think only about himself."
This is too clumsy and won't work. This is the way of gray mice.
You need to gently take Max by the balls in front of him and say: "You are cool, I would like such a real man for myself. Who really knows how to understand women, your girlfriend is so lucky, I envy her.
"
And at the same time, you need to look into the eyes of your narcissist so that he understands and goes crazy. And chuckled and understood.
Touch others in front of him, admire that they are simple, that they are peasants. That they don’t behave like women, that they don’t kiss their ass, but kiss a woman’s. What do not always blame others and circumstances!
His resentment is an indicator that you are doing everything right. Resentment will change him. His indifference is an indicator that you are doing something wrong and he doesn't give a damn.
3. Parody his love and laugh at it .
As I wrote above, men narcissists are narcissistic bastards. And this is expressed in his actions, behavior and in some of his daily rituals. Which you should already know.
Think about it and write to me in the comments - what rituals does he carry out with him every day or regularly. So that we know how to parody and mock them.
Your task is to ridicule him for these rituals, to ridicule them.
He doesn't want to be mean. But now you will show him this aspiration yourself.
When my mother spoiled me as a child, my brother bantered me so much. That I am a sissy, that I myself am not capable of anything. He parodied how I eat, how I communicate with my mother and I was ashamed. I wanted to be different inside. I didn't want to be a sissy. I didn't want my brother to laugh at me, and I didn't want to be like he parodied me.
I also had a bitch who made fun of my arrogance and my pomposity and that I thought only of myself. She managed to make fun of it in a way that I was not very pleased to be like that. Deep down, I understood her standards, and they were fair and just.
You see, he's just used to thinking about himself and spitting on others. It's not bad, but when it's overdone, it's overkill.
And this should be ridiculed. Point and point to it. Laugh at it. Devalue his narcissistic qualities that you see in him. He must associate these qualities with discomfort.
And he doesn't like discomfort.
That is, you consider those rituals that he performs most often, which characterize him as a male narcissist. And you parody them, repeat after him and laugh at it. You do what he does and you're so funny. Because it's so stupid. And he must see it FROM THE SIDE.
Become his true mirror.
Laughter is a very cool weapon if used correctly.
4. Use others
For example, while sitting with friends, start bantering daffodils so that friends will join in. And you yourself look at him so that he understands who you mean. Naturally, you do not need to do it clumsily and rudely.
It's better to talk about the third person and make fun of the third person, but look at this guy.
"Do you remember that guy who constantly blamed everyone (you look at your own), who was simply afraid that they would blame him (again look at your boyfriend, wave his hand in his direction), it seems to me that he is just a weakling and he has complexes.
What do you think, can we help him somehow?"
Do not be afraid of his resentment, it will most likely be. This is exactly what we are trying to achieve, when offended, a person begins to think. We need him to think about it, realize it and see clearly.
5. Don't do it manically
If you troll him every 2 minutes, you will go to the airport to fly to the members' country. Since these guys are touchy to the point of horror.
Do this periodically. When he gets narcissistic, you tease. When he begins to exaggerate his great achievements, when he blames other people, but he himself is to blame. You point it out, you laugh at it. The rest of the time you communicate normally. Don't forget to be mysterious.
When he is cute, you are cute. When he is a narcissist - you are his mirror, you are his banter and drain.
Don't go overboard. And there is no need to indicate this in a quarrel, in scandals. It doesn't work well. Do it as a joke, devalue these qualities by laughing, not by shouting or being offended.
6. Fucking manipulation.
He will sometimes become the man of your dreams. When the smell of fried meat from his body, he can become a bunny, which will insert the hook deeper into your bloody palate.
You know, how it happens that they play a notorious scoundrel, then they become soft and fluffy.
When you see this, react immediately. Show that you got him. "Hey, did you decide to play good again to grease up on me? I wonder how long you last, let me record this day. Last time you lasted 2 days."
"Oh, I know that later you will become so sweet and caring and will sing in my ears like a nightingale how beautiful I am. You always do that, it's so boring, you are all so predictable."
Nobody likes to be predictable.
7. Question his narcissism.
Show him that you are well aware that he put on a fucking advantageous mask.
And show him that you fucking see what's really going on underneath.
