Wife is manipulative

8 Signs Of A Manipulative Wife

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You might be getting manipulated in your relationship without even knowing it. Manipulation can be defined as using influence and intimate knowledge of the other person’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities to exploit them emotionally in a bid to control them to serve one’s interests. A manipulative wife may be doing exactly that, distorting your sense of reality to an extent that you are unable to understand the signs of a devious woman.

A manipulative personality only shows its true colors when they are in an intimate relationship and have achieved a certain level of control over the other person. Manipulative people pretend to be nice and most often keep resorting to emotional manipulation without their victim even realizing it. Manipulation is a form of emotional abuse and should be seen as a huge red flag in a marriage.

The warning signs of a manipulative woman are often right in front of us yet we may not be able to spot them. Partners who are manipulative mostly do it for selfish gains or because they want things in a certain way and cannot imagine compromising or understanding their spouse’s way of life. Experts say that most of the time it is so ingrained in their behavior that they don’t even realize that they are constantly manipulating their significant other.

The underlying causes for such behavior can be traced to their own childhood or teenage years where they had perhaps experienced or seen this, and subconsciously integrated it into their own attitude. A manipulative person generally controls others by using words that they will know others will react to, feigning tears or making threats, resorting to emotional blackmail, shouting and screaming, and even using sarcasm to make the partner give in to their demands.

If you can identify with the above, know that you are getting manipulated by your wife. To help you gain a clear perspective on the inner working of this toxic connection, let’s delve deeper into how emotional manipulation in relationships works with insights from counseling psychologist Kavita Panyam (Masters in Psychology and international affiliate with the American Psychological Association), who has been helping couples work through their relationship issues for over two decades.

Manipulative Personality Traits

Table of Contents

To be able to see the manipulative personality traits, you first need to understand what is manipulation and what it looks like in an intimate connection. This is important because romantic manipulation is often disguised as love and doled out in the garb of care, concern or “wanting the best for you and the relationship”. The dictionary meaning of manipulation is “to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner”.

In intimate relationships, manipulation can be seen as a tool to control, exploit, or influence another to one’s advantage. This form of manipulation often operates on three factors – fear, guilt or manipulation. So, if you find yourself being psychologically coerced in one way or the other into doing things you originally didn’t want to, there is a good chance you’re dealing with manipulative behavior in your marriage.

Emotional manipulation by a wife is never easy to come to terms with. After all, she’s your life partner and it’s hard to shake off the denials and accept that the person you’ve chosen to share your life with doesn’t have your best interests at heart. To make sure that you’re 100% certain that you’re dealing with emotional manipulation in your marriage, here’s a quick roundup of the signs of a manipulative woman:

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Attempts to isolate you: This is a characteristic feature of both male and female manipulation in relationships. So if you have a manipulative wife, you may find that she is always critical of the people you’re closest to or those who matter to you. To spot the manipulative woman signs, pay attention to the following: How does she speak of others in relation to you? Is everyone your adversary in her stories? This could be an attempt to isolate you
Indifference: She is indifferent to how her actions may hurt other people, she can only see her own point of view. If her actions or words hurt you, that’s your problem, not hers. That’s precisely why emotional manipulation by a wife can be immensely draining and difficult to deal with
A mismatch between actions and words: Is there a huge gap between what she says and what she does? For instance, if you’ve had a falling out with a close friend or a sibling, she may act devastated but a closer look may suggest otherwise. This could be because she may be gloating on the inside for successfully setting in motion a chain of events that led to the said falling out. Controlling your life strings, as if you were a puppet and she the master, is one of the classic manipulative personality traits
Inability to apologize: After a fight does she complain of headaches, and says she is feeling unwell and you run to apologize? If every fight and every disagreement is followed by drama that fills you up with guilt and moves you to make it up to her even when you were not at fault, it’s about time you stop bottling up the “my wife is controlling and manipulative” feeling

Victim mentality: She gives you the silent treatment until you’re ready to toe her line, but when you do the same, she accuses you of being indifferent and neglectful. Both male and female manipulators have an innate ability to make everything about themselves. As a result, the scales of equality in a relationship are always tipped in their favor. One of the classic manipulative woman signs stemming from this tendency is that she doesn’t play by the rules she makes you conform to.
Love Bombing: Love bombing is yet another one of the classic manipulative personality traits and female manipulators know how to use it to their advantage just as well as their male counterparts. She will flood you with attention, admiration and affection until you become accustomed to it and that validation becomes the fuel that feeds your self-worth. Once that dependence is achieved, emotional manipulation by wife may reach the next level: where she withholds this attention and admiration until you concede to doing her bidding.

Related Reading: 12 Signs You Are Being ‘Love Bombed’

8 Signs Of A Manipulative Wife

If you have ended up with a manipulative woman, chances are you don’t even realize it. The signs of manipulation are subtle and disguised as love, you will probably feel all of it is for your own good and you have wanted it. Manipulators are expert influencers and work on your subconscious, they essentially tilt the balance of power in their favor leaving you with the illusion that you are calling the shots.

“Manipulation is designed to make a person think and behave like you, and act in a manner that you approve of. A manipulator used subtle techniques to influence the way the other behaves or feels, all the while making it seem like it was what they wanted. Essentially, the manipulator calls the shots and wants their partner to be submissive in a connection,” explains Kavita.

All in all, it’s an attempt to gain control over a partner and skew the power dynamics in a relationship in one’s favor. The moment of truth can come as a huge shock but once you know the reality you can take steps to correct it. Focusing on past mistakes, some secret you told your wife about you, or a weakness you have that she knows about, are all used against you to manipulate you. These are all telling signs of a manipulative woman.

Related Reading: Manipulation In Relationships – 11 Subtle Signs You Are A Victim

Life coach Melody Fletcher says, “People who are manipulative and people who get manipulated are basically two sides of the same coin. The manipulator uses these techniques to feel good while the person who is manipulated wants to do service to others, to please others to get the scraps of love and affirmation. We cannot really stop everyone from manipulating us but we have to own our power and that can be done by anticipating the different ways people try to manipulate us and react to it accordingly.”

A manipulative wife has the potential to change all your important relationships in the way she deems fit, leaving you isolated. If you’re being subjected to emotional manipulation by your wife, you may feel more and more dependent on her as you think she is the only one who cares about you enough. Having a manipulative wife (you must assess what kind of damage she is causing) can be a deal-breaker. It constitutes emotional abuse and like we said many do not even realize what has happened to them. Here are 8 signs that can tell you if your wife is manipulative:

1. She has a didactic personality

A didactic person is the one who thinks that everyone should be taught what they think is right and that they are doing things for their good. This is an absolute warning sign of a manipulative woman. She feels that she is super smart and intellectual and the responsibility to mold other people is on her shoulders.

A manipulative wife has a didactic personality

Not just this, she may keep finding faults with your method of doing things and indirectly tell you that she is superior to you. This is her way of making you feel ‘less than her’ so that you defer your intellect to her and ask her for advice. Voila, she has gained control over you.

If your wife is the kind of person who makes you feel inadequate and you constantly run to her for her opinion especially when you didn’t do so before, she might be manipulating you and you need to think through your marriage. She is a controlling woman, who wants everything to go her way. The thought “my wife is controlling and manipulative” may have crossed your mind a few times but you dismissed it because not only is she someone you love and trust but she has also shown you over and over again that she knows better.

“This becomes a pattern that plays on a loop, and eventually, the victim begins to struggle to rely on their own judgment to make even the smallest of decisions or starts believing that there is something inherently wrong with them. A manipulative partner attacks your insecurities and annihilates your self-esteem,” says Kavita. Once you begin to recognize such signs of a cunning woman in your wife, remind yourself you can’t be wrong 100% of the time. Ask yourself: Ultimately, do I feel good about myself in this relationship? If not, make a list of all the reasons why not.

2. She turns every argument into your fault

One of the signs of a manipulative spouse is that they turn everything into your fault and get away as the innocent one. That time when she was emotionally unavailable it was because you were busy for the past two days. She screamed at your mother because you do not care she is handling so much. If she flirts with a guy and you object, it is because you do not ever compliment her or give her attention.

If you complain about something which leads to a huge argument, she will turn the tables on you by pointing out past instances when you behaved in the same manner and how she did not raise hell then. You, then, come out as the petty one. If you get mad or upset, it’s your fault for having unreasonable expectations; if she gets mad, it’s your fault for upsetting them. She has the power to blame you for every wrong thing that has happened in your marriage – from a small argument to a major disappointment. Nothing will ever be her mistake.

This is known as guilt-tripping, one of the classic techniques of emotional abuse and one of the preferred tools of both male and female manipulators. As long as you let her overwhelm you with guilt, she will continue to get away with manipulating you. Confront the bully and tell her that you understand what is happening here. Remember if you remain passive and compliant, you make yourself a target.

Related Reading: 13 Signs You Are The Selfish One In Your Relationship

3. She uses emotional blackmail as a weapon

Emotional manipulation is something your wife is good at. Emotionally blackmailing a person may seem very subtle and harmless at times, but in reality, it is very damaging. It is another form of emotional abuse where you make the other person feel guilty about not doing what you want them to do.

Everything for her is difficult because she loves you a lot and she will die if you leave her alone. She will make you believe that she is the victim here. A reader wrote to us about how his wife made him abandon his mother and he couldn’t do anything about it. “Is my wife manipulative? And how can I deal with her without wrecking my marriage?” he wanted to know.

This is not an isolated or one-of-a-kind incident. Most manipulative women have a tendency to use emotional blackmail as a weapon to manipulate their partners. They keep saying that they are incomplete without you or they can’t live without you and so you should be dependent on them just like they are dependent on you, leading to a dysfunctional, codependent marriage.

If your wife resorts to emotional blackmail every time she wants something done, take that as a red flag in your marriage. Look for these signs: Does she suffer dramatically and publicly until you feel you must give her what she wants? Does she threaten to harm herself to get you to do (or not do) something? Make no mistake, these are signs of a devious woman who is out to manipulate you into submission. Take charge, set boundaries, and learn to call her bluff.

4. She uses your weaknesses against you

How do you know she has a manipulative personality? She uses your weakness against you. For instance, let’s say your wife knows you love your daughter a lot. Does she tell you often that she would leave home with her if you do not comply with her demands? Is the D-word uttered often to force you into submission? Does her behavior leave you wondering, “Is my wife manipulative?”

She hits where it hurts the most

If you answered in the affirmative to the above questions, there is no doubt that you’re dealing with the signs of a manipulative woman. This may seem very cruel and you might not have realized that this was happening to you but manipulative women are extremely selfish. They take advantage of your weaknesses to get their work done. She, being your wife, would know a lot of things about you and during a fight, which she would bring up to hurt you where you are most vulnerable.

Kavita explains, “Everything that freezes you in your tracks and stops you from doing what you really want to do amounts to manipulation in a relationship.” With that in mind, reflect on your wife’s behavior patterns. Is she someone who makes a spectacle of your failures, compares you to other men and makes you seem incompetent? And if you ask something of her, she makes you feel that you have not lived up to her expectations hence you have no right to ask things from her.

She may also use people you care about to hurt you but hurt them in a way you cannot call her out on her actions. You try and make sure that you do not displease her because her reaction drains you both emotionally and otherwise. These are all clear signs of a cunning woman who wants to control you, leaving you feeling trapped in the relationship.

5. She is the decision-maker

Be it male or female manipulation in relationships, it stems from a singular driving force: control. It is no surprise then that a manipulative wife will do what it takes to establish and retain that control. If in your marriage, you are the one who keeps on nodding and agreeing to all the small and big decisions made by her, you know that you have a manipulative wife. She makes all the plans – be it about finances, holidays, and even who you should or shouldn’t socialize with.

She decides the school the kids should go to, what air conditioner you should upgrade to or even the car which is good for your family. She is picky about friends and you see yourself more and more aligned with people she gets along with. You feel you are getting distant from your school and college friends because she doesn’t think much of them or maybe because they do not think much of her.

She decides everything for both of you, she may ask for your opinion but you know in the end you will end up doing what she thinks is right. If you enforce something, you will never hear the end of how terrible it was. She will reassert that she has thought things through and subtly hint that she knows best. For a boy’s night out, you have to take her permission well in advance, while for a girl’s night out, it’s quite the opposite; she is the boss of her own life.

These are warning signs of a manipulative woman you should be aware of. In a healthy relationship, a couple decides on things after discussing them with one another. A single person making all the decisions for two people is a sign of manipulation and a definite red flag in a marriage.

Related Reading: 15 Signs Your Spouse Takes You For Granted

6. She victimizes herself every time

One of the biggest signs of a manipulative woman is her ability to play the victim card to perfection. She acts scared of your reaction and makes you the controlling villain of her life. She will show family and friends how she is often accountable for all decisions and what stress it is to her.

She will exaggerate her illnesses, or make up lies about how she is being ostracized, maybe how XYZ is constantly picking on her. They will show reality and pretend to feel powerless, maybe even show how they’re the martyrs. Manipulative people who pretend to be nice are especially adept at this.

They often speak of how selfless they are and how cruel everyone around them is. Maybe even hint how ungrateful you have been. They keep a record of every single sacrifice made and display it as their prized possession. Moreover, such people often use emotional outbursts to support their ‘act’. You will see dollops of tears and sadness but in your absence, she will be perfectly fine. So you are being victimized here but outsiders feel the opposite. That’s just the sad reality of male victimization in most cultures.

7. She keeps on blaming you for everything

Every time she is in a tough spot in her life, she makes it your fault. It is because she married you, she had to change her area of residence which is quite far from her office. She throws you under the bus every time she makes a wrong decision. This is an absolute devious woman you are dealing with. Manipulative people are adept at twisting words and making up things out of nowhere.

She will pretend as if her decisions were taken keeping your convenience in mind and she has to deal with the repercussions of it, and that ‘you are not helping’. She will make you seem responsible for her sadness, and her personal failures. Because you do not help out with the kids, she has been fired from her job. Because of the stress of managing a home, she had an outburst and had a huge fight with her best friend. She will keep blaming you for things you did not do until you give up and apologize.

“The only way to deal with this situation without letting the exaggerated blame-shifting take a toll is to segregate facts from fiction. When your partner blames you, ask for facts and evidence, and then address them one by one. It will give you a sense of how much of the blame you actually carry,” advises Kavita.

8. She’ll never apologize

Even if you finally prove to her that it is her fault, a manipulative wife will never say the word ‘sorry’. It is just too much for her ego. She is never apologetic. Instead, she would justify her actions or go silent as a way of telling you that she is hurt. By deliberately not responding to your calls and text messages, she will make you doubt your own point of view on the matter.

You will start wondering, “What if she was right? She wouldn’t be so upset otherwise.” Maybe you will conclude you were not right to blame her. But what you should be asking instead is: “Why is my wife manipulative to such a dangerous extent?” People who are manipulative want things their way and proving them wrong about something just fires up their emotions. Such people find it very hard to admit to their mistakes or apologize for them.

Also when caught in an unfavorable situation, they “play dumb” and start playing the victim card. By pretending she or he doesn’t understand what you want, or what you want her to do, the manipulator/passive-aggressive makes you take on what is her responsibility and gets you to break a sweat.

Related Reading: Are You A Toxic Couple? Take This Test To Find Out

How to Deal With A Manipulative Wife

So, you understand the pattern of female manipulation in relationships and can even co-relate the tell-tale manipulative woman signs to your wife’s behavior. As heartbreaking and unnerving the journey to this realization may have been, this is only half the battle. The other – and probably the more daunting – half remains; that is figuring out how to deal with a manipulative wife.

When you have been at the receiving end of manipulative behavior, it’s not easy to put your foot down and push back. But with the right approach, you can make it happen and even save your marriage. Kavita shares the following tips on how to deal with a manipulative wife:

1. Don’t normalize or minimize the manipulation

Now that you can clearly see that you were not wrong in thinking “my wife is controlling and manipulative”, don’t let her behavior slide. Instead, prepare yourself to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how her behavior is affecting your mental health and the health of your marriage.

Before you do so, it’s imperative that you have specific examples and instances of her manipulative behavior in mind so that she doesn’t have any room to gaslight you, dismiss your concerns or turn things around by playing her famous victim card.

2. The right communication can make all the difference

How to deal with a manipulative wife? Communication surely plays a key role in helping you achieve a breakthrough and getting her to acknowledge that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. But it has to be the right kind of communication – honest, open, direct, non-accusatory and geared toward reconciliation.

The first step for opening the channels of communication and making sure they remain open is to always use “I” statements when sharing your concerns about her manipulative behavior. For instance, if she resorts to stonewalling as a response to any disagreement, you could say, “I feel discouraged when you shut down in response to any opinion of mine that is different from yours. Can we try to be more accepting of each other?

This is likely to be far more effective than saying, “You always shut down when I have something to say. How do you expect me to talk to you when you won’t even listen?” The former statement opens up doors for a dialogue whereas the latter will likely trigger arguments. To put an end to emotional manipulation by wife, you need to work with the former.

Related Reading: 9 Signs You Have Serious Communication Issues In Your Relationship

3. How to deal with a manipulative wife? Set boundaries

Setting boundaries in a relationship is extremely important to make sure both partners are respected and have enough space to be the person they’re. However, when there is male or female manipulation in relationships, boundaries tend to be obliterated before you’ve even had the chance to define them. A manipulative wife seeks to establish control, and boundaries get in the way of that. It’s no surprise that she wouldn’t be thrilled by the idea of boundary setting.

However, this is a must to break the manipulative behavior pattern. So, take some time to identify what aspects of your wife’s behavior are causing the most damage to your psyche, figure out where you’d like to draw the line and communicate it to your partner. Once you do, make sure you enforce your boundaries unequivocally, every single time.

For instance, if your wife tends to cut you off mid-sentence and tell you how you are ‘actually’ feeling, tell her that you will cease to engage in a conversation with her if interrupted. If she repeats this behavior during an intense discussion or an argument – which in all likelihood she will – take a step back, and tell her you’d be happy to resume talking when she’s willing to listen.

4. Seek therapy to deal with a manipulative wife

“My wife is controlling and manipulative and I don’t know how to deal with her without wrecking my marriage.” If that has been your line of thought vis-à-vis this debilitating issue your marital bond is infested with, remember this is fear talking – fear which is one the key factors on which the entire web of manipulative behavior is built.

This example should be enough to tell you how deeply scarring emotional manipulation in a relationship can be. There is no denying that this is a form of emotional abuse that no victim is equipped to deal with on their own. So when you’re thinking about how to deal with a manipulative wife, also think about preserving and improving your mental health.

For that, there is no better alternative than going into therapy. If you’ve made some progress by trying the above-mentioned tips and your manipulative wife is open to the idea, you can go into couple’s therapy. If not, then consider individual counseling to unpack the emotional baggage and make sense of your own emotions. If you’re looking for help to break away from this toxic pattern, experienced and skilled counselors on Bonobology’s panel are here for you.

Putting up with female manipulation in relationships can leave your mental health a shambles and learning how to deal with a manipulative wife is nothing short of a Herculean challenge. We hope that with our expert-backed insights and advice, you’d be better equipped to spot the red flags and take corrective measures. You can get through this, just focus on taking one step at a time.

FAQs

1. How to deal with a manipulative woman?

Stand up for yourself, do not keep compromising and make it clear to her that you are not going to ask her permission for every small thing. When she plays the victim card don’t fall for it or for that matter all her ruse.

2. How to outsmart a manipulative wife?

Say “no” on her face and say that again and again till she gets the point. She will throw tantrums, shed tears, try her manipulation techniques but you just stay put in your position.

3. What does emotional manipulation in a marriage look like?

“You are going out with the guys but I wanted to watch Netflix with you today and I have already made the snacks for that.” “You are the sweetest person I know. you do my share of the chores every day. ”

4. How can I seek help if my wife is manipulative?

You can go for relationship counseling and try to work on the emotional manipulation that is affecting your marriage. If your wife is willing to work on the issues, couple’s therapy would be ideal. If not, individual therapy/counseling is strongly recommended to help undo the damage caused by your wife’s manipulative behavior.

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12 Signs Your Woman is Manipulative

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The worst feeling of all is being manipulated.

This makes us look foolish and often we feel emotionally used. The pain is more when you’re in a healthy relationship and your partner manipulates you in doing something. After all, a relationship is established in trust.

No matter how smart or intelligent you’re, a woman can still manipulate you, if she wants. The best way to escape this is to know the signs. Let’s have a look at the signs of a manipulative woman.

How to spot a manipulative woman?

To be able to protect yourself from a manipulative woman, you must know the manipulative woman signs.

1. Emotional outburst

Women are known to have emotional outbursts. They are expressive and don’t shy away from doing so.

However, one of the important signs of a manipulative woman is they experience emotional outburst right in the middle of an important argument. The moment they see that they’re about to lose an argument or the blame is shifting towards them, they get quite emotional. This sidelines the discussion, and arguments take an ugly turn.

2. Smooth talker

Some women are very manipulative. However, to be a smooth talker is one of the signs of a manipulative woman.

They’ll turn your emotions subtly to what they want to you do. Without realizing, you will end up doing things that they want you to do believing you always wanted to do it. Confusing, right? Imagine how bad it can be in a real situation.

3. State of denial

A manipulative woman is good at denial. When you confront them about their manipulating habit, they will straight away move to the denial stage. They will say that they have nothing to do with it and will play with a trump card, being emotional. Suddenly, the whole argument from them being manipulative will move to them being emotional.

4. Good at lying

Lying is one of the manipulative woman traits.

They know when, how and how much to lie about. They do it openly and without any shame. For them, getting the work done is far more important than what people may make out of her lying.

5. Being nice

This is one of the interesting signs of the manipulative woman. A manipulative woman will be nice to you when they want you to do something for them. They would use their charm and charismatic personality to woo you over. Once the work is done, they would move back to their original behavior.

6. No financial support

When in a relationship, both of you must invest money equally. There is no harm in expecting some financial support from your woman. However, as per the signs of a manipulative woman, they won’t invest their money into it, at all. This is because back in their minds, they’re sure that it’s not a steady relationship.

7. Being a critic

Criticism in a relationship isn’t supportive.

You are free to share beliefs and what you feel like, but questioning each and every action or habits of your partner is not at all helpful. So, if your woman is a total critic who puts you in an awkward position all the time, then consider this as one of the signs of a manipulative woman.

8. Playing innocent

When in a relationship, you must share responsibilities equally. It’s a sign that you both are ready to invest time in it and trust each other. However, a manipulative woman will shy away from taking up any responsibility, and won’t think twice before acting innocent. All she would want is no responsibility in a relationship.

9. Make you feel bad

There are ups and downs. There is individualism in a relationship as well. One can’t be always right and one can’t be always wrong. However, a manipulative woman will make you feel bad if you refuse to do things the way she wants it or follow her orders. She will make you feel the world’s worst boyfriend, and eventually, you would do what she wants you to do.

10. Playing the victim

One can’t be the victim all the time in a relationship. There are times when you’re wrong and there are times when she is wrong. However, when you’re wrong, she will make you feel worse. When she is wrong, she will play the victim and make you feel bad.

11. Ignoring than apologizing

Saying sorry makes your relationship strong. When you’ve not something wrong, by saying sorry you’re strengthening your relationship. However, one of the signs of a manipulative woman is that they would start ignoring you than to apologize to you. They won’t mind even if you don’t initiate the conversation after this. They won’t apologize first, and that’s final.

12. Sexually manipulative

A sexually manipulative woman is least bothered about emotions. She won’t hesitate to manipulate you for sexual pleasure. All she cares about is herself and no one else.

References

https://pandagossips.com/posts/2529https://www.lovepanky.com/men/understanding-women/signs-of-a-manipulative-woman

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8 Ways Women Use to Manipulate Men

So far we have talked about the ways men try to manipulate women. However, the weaker sex in this part is able to give a hundred points ahead. Moreover, all kinds of TV programs and glossy magazines are just full of advice on how to manipulate men.

What do female manipulations usually lead to? And how to recognize them?

Help me…

One of the favorite ways of a woman is to pretend to be weak and helpless and appeal to his masculinity, strength, physical superiority.

Most men are proud to be men, and throughout their lives they need confirmation of their strength and masculinity. Therefore, they readily turn their shoulder when a woman touchingly asks for help.

This help can be expressed both in specific cases, such as repairing a computer, a car, or preparing data for a report, and in a way of life.

A woman who plays on her helplessness manages to inspire her chosen one to constantly take care of herself, protect her. On the one hand, it gives a man the opportunity to feel strong, to assert himself even in his own eyes, on the other hand, in fact, leads a consumer lifestyle.

Turn on blonde…

A naive creature that literally looks into a man's mouth, wins him over, evoking a sense of superiority in him. “Ah, dear, you are so smart!”, “I would never have guessed!”, “Well, wow, and how do you only know everything ?!”.

Often hiding behind the fact that she does not understand anything, a woman can get a man to do her job, etc.

This technique allows not only to use men, but also to avoid any responsibility for one's actions. An unhappy look, a confused look - “I didn’t think it was so serious”, “I didn’t understand what exactly had to be done” ... Well, what man would allow himself to reproach this charming creature, and even more so to demand something from him?

However, as practice shows, most of these women are well aware of what they are doing, and how it can turn out for others.

And Serezha is better…

The desire of a man to be the most successful and the strongest allows a woman to manipulate him with the help of comparison. "Vitya bought a fur coat for his wife..", "Tamarka's husband went for a promotion, but you still can't...", "the neighbor will fix the tap and drive in a nail, but your hands grow from nowhere"...

Some men, Of course, they are led to this and make desperate attempts to be no worse than the example of a friend’s husband or their own childhood friend. Still, it is very important for a man to feel that he is the best for his chosen one. However, comparisons in favor of the other nurture an inferiority complex in a man and make him feel like a failure. And losers are rarely able to achieve anything.

Drip-drip-drip from clear eyes…

Tears are one of the most powerful female weapons. They are known to be very poorly tolerated. And many women enjoy it. A crying woman looks defenseless, and a man, of course, wants to feel sorry for her, console her.

But when a woman resorts to this technique too often, an addiction effect occurs. Over time, the tears of the chosen one will not only stop touching, but will even begin to cause irritation. And then it will be possible to sob as much as you like - the man's heart will not tremble.

You turned me down twice...

Despite the fact that experts of all stripes warn women about the inadmissibility of manipulating sex, there are no fewer lovers of such manipulations.

Dissatisfied with her husband's behavior, the wife refuses him bed comforts. And it can be both veiled - "my head hurts", and quite frankly - "did not deserve it." Of course, the man will try to break into a cake so that the missus will change her anger to mercy.

True, if this method is used too often, there is a great chance that a man will simply find a sexual outlet on the side, which will allow him not to depend on his wife's mood.

Smarter ladies use sex as a way of reward. They regularly fulfill their marital duty, but, as they say, without a twinkle. But if the husband has done something worthy of encouragement - from fixing the tap to buying a new fur coat, he will have stormy and passionate sex, which you can’t count on in normal times.

It must be said that the weaker sex successfully uses sexual manipulations not only in the family. It is easier for a sexy young lady to get help and support from men - even at work, even in the company of friends.

Oh, I am poor, unhappy...

Pressure on the feeling of pity is another of the most favorite female techniques.

An unhappy look - "Oh, I'm a poor thing, I'm so tired at work, and I'm also preparing dinner for my husband ..." plus a gentle smile - "But I'm not complaining ..." - and the man begins to feel a sense of embarrassment and is ready to move mountains himself for the sake of his beloved.

Supporters of such manipulations are very fond of pretending to be sick. Some of them get so into the image that they actually begin to experience ailments - from headaches to weakness. Well, if such women really have some kind of health problems, then they will play this card to the fullest.

Playing the victim…

Such women willingly put all the members of their household around their necks, accustom them to the consumer attitude themselves and at the same time keep a careful account of all their victims. Their main task is to cause an enduring feeling of guilt in loved ones.

Some representatives of the weaker sex reduce themselves to the state of a bedside rug. They forgive everything - from betrayal to a show of hands. Just to keep her husband around.

However, according to experts, such manipulations cause irritation and aggression in men.

It is from husbands-eternal victims that domestic tyrants most often turn out. Note: most women who are ready to endure humiliation and beatings from their husband revel in their role as a victim.

I was offended…

Demonstration of resentment is also, in its purest form, an attempt to manipulate others. Many women use it to control their husbands. Anything can cause offense - the husband did not speak affectionately enough, came too late, spent too much money on himself, etc. Some throw a tantrum, others, on the contrary, pose as suffering angels - not a word of reproach, only tears in their eyes and dramatic silence: “You see how I suffer!”. The husband has to constantly make excuses and prove to his wife how much he loves her. For this, one will simply wash the floors in the kitchen, and the other will buy a new fur coat - depending on the requests of his wife and his capabilities.

...At the heart of most female manipulation is an attempt to make a man feel guilty. And the more conscientious and responsible a man is, the easier it is for a woman to achieve what she wants.

However, if a man is “led” to manipulations, this does not mean that he does not notice them. Many men, for example, knowing full well that their wife is manipulating them, prefer to simply turn a blind eye to it. But even if a man is silent, you should not conclude that everything suits him. Some in such cases go headlong to work, others to drunkenness, and others to the left. But in any case, dislike for his wife begins to accumulate in his soul. Sooner or later, she will destroy the relationship. And then no, even the most ingenious manipulations will not help to save the relationship.

DO YOU KNOW?

For the most part, manipulators grow out of those who were manipulated in childhood, who perceive sincerity and trust as a threat, who are afraid of losing relationships and therefore seek to control their partner.

To be able to resist the manipulator, you need to learn to think critically, to take into account not words, but actions. And most importantly, you need to learn to firmly say “no” when you feel that you are being forced in one way or another to act contrary to your interests.

"New business"

Woman manipulator: how to recognize manipulation by a man

Do you often agree to do something that you previously did not agree to or give in to a woman just not to see her tears? Or maybe with her jealousy or reproaches, she makes you make excuses? This is a sign that you are being manipulated by a manipulative woman.

By manipulating a man, women know how to pretend. They are so good at their games that unfortunately some men don't realize they are being manipulated in a relationship all the time.

We at semyadeti.ru set out to find out how to recognize a manipulator woman and female manipulation? In order to know how to behave with her, we will consider what methods or types of manipulation a woman most often tries to manipulate and influence a man.

Contents of the article

Why women manipulate men

Manipulation is a strong means of female influence on a man. Manipulating men at all times was considered the best opportunity for a woman to coexist and compete with them in the male world. Often for women, this was the only way to achieve some kind of hierarchical position in society.

Kings, businessmen, presidents and generals of armies suffered defeat and lost reputation. And all because, under the influence of female manipulations, they made wrong decisions that cost them honor, and many even their lives.

Therefore, knowing the power of manipulation, almost all representatives of the weaker sex manipulate men when the need arises. They try to use men's weaknesses, which they do not even notice. (Men are not inferior to women in manipulation. Therefore, we recommend reading about how manipulators behave in relationships).

Typical phrases of a manipulative woman

You're a man
You're a man, don't be a rag
A real man would never do that
You don't love me at all

Sounds familiar? How does a man act after such phrases, supported by tears, tantrums or whining? With a wave of his hand, he does a lot of what he did not agree to, just not to see more female tantrums and tears.

You can learn more about the manipulator woman's phrases from this video, which we recommend watching.

Consider the characteristics of female manipulation.

Woman Manipulator in Relationships: Signs

Women's manipulation takes many forms, but these signs will help you identify them in order to control your thoughts, feelings and actions. So, let's look at how to recognize a manipulator woman.

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Enthusiastic praise and tenderness flowing into some requests. She is tenderness itself, praises and calls the guy affectionate names, but this always ends with some requests.
Postpones his promises to keep his partner on a short leash. By the way, this is one of the best methods or ways of female manipulation of men.
Woman manipulator with words and deeds makes her partner constantly jealous. He thinks that he is inferior to an imaginary rival who is better than himself. In order not to lose the chosen one, the man is ready to fulfill any woman's whims.
Uses looks to get her way with tight or revealing clothing, a curvy figure, pose and a promising flirtatious look.
Reproaches addressed to you. The woman tearfully blames herself for being insensitive to her man and says she does not understand how this could happen. After that, the man tries to prove the opposite to her, that she is not insensitive, but everything suits him in her.
Friendzone. The manipulator girl does not refuse the guy in a relationship, but also does not let him get close. Thus, maintaining in him the hope of a close relationship. Her behavior and flirting with men shows that if she does not meet a more profitable party, then he is a “fallback” for her.
The feeling of scarcity is a powerful way to manipulate a man. The woman created in the man the confidence that he was dealing with the queen. She shows the man in every possible way how many admirers and admirers she has, but only he was lucky .
Woman's separation manipulation. In public, she subtly ridicules him, belittles his merits, notices his shortcomings. Thus, forcing the guy to become a “rag” and endure such an attitude if he does not want her to break up with him.
Unfinished phrases. They say to a man like: “I knew it, you thought you were not like everyone else.” After that, he puzzles over his head in bewilderment, not understanding what she has already thought of herself?

Signs of a manipulator woman in the family

Half hints. Manipulating a man, the manipulator's wife does not ask directly, but refers to the fact that her friend has it. Or he says that any woman looks cool in this. After such half-hints, the husband usually forks out.
Women's manipulation of silence. The wife does not react in any way to the words, deeds and deeds of her husband. With his silence and ignorance, he tries to make him feel guilty.
Inferiority complex. The wife exposes herself in a bad light, for example, considering herself ugly, stupid. After that, the husband begins to feel sorry for her more, to make compliments.
An appeal to a sense of duty. The husband is given to understand that he must always or is obliged to do something, to give to her, since she has become his wife.
Plays on emotions. The wife deftly portrays coldness, resentment, and when the husband makes amends, she demonstrates passion. Non-verbal behavior plays a big role in this. She can eloquently shut up, turn away from her husband, or roll her eyes defiantly. Tears and reproaches are used that they do not like her.
Refers to some authoritative opinion from someone else. An example is "just like your mom thinks." Any person can be inserted into these words, especially if it is authoritative for her interlocutor.
Extraction of confessions or promises. For example, “Say that you love me; do you promise me"? Thus, a manipulator woman forces her husband to say exactly the words that she wants to hear. Subsequently, she will refer to them in conversations with him.
A manipulator deftly inserts words of admiration for a man into a conversation: his abilities, intelligence, achievements, masculinity. After that, the man wants to further prove his superiority over others. And the woman can only direct this desire in a beneficial direction for her. (By the way, men love compliments, and not all women manipulate this, so we recommend that you learn how to compliment your beloved man correctly?)
Manipulating a man through love blackmail. A manipulator woman plays on men's feelings and love, forcing her husband to endure her shortcomings and put up with her antics, if she loves. His patience is regarded as proof of love.

How to understand that a girl is manipulating you

Emotional manipulation can be so subtle and hidden that a woman manipulator can control her victim for quite a long time before a man understands what is happening. Look at yourself and try to understand if you are pulling the strings?

Your joy from loving a girl has turned into a fear of losing her. Everything started out great, but now you're not sure what went wrong. Happiness and euphoria in relationships turned into anxiety, sadness and even despair.
You are not sure what your relationship will be like tomorrow. Because of this, you are in a state of constant uncertainty and anxiety.
It seems to you that your relationship is complicated, but you don't know how to explain it. When communicating with friends, you usually say: "It's hard to explain why this is happening. "
You feel like you just don't know how to make her happy. All your efforts do not bring long-term results. There was a feeling that you do not live up to the expectations of your partner.
Do you constantly have to ask your lover if everything is all right or something is wrong in the relationship? There is an inner feeling that something is wrong, but you are not sure what it is.
You do things that you don't like or contradict your values, all in order to save the relationship, and the manipulator woman was satisfied.
You often have to defend yourself and apologize. A constant companion was the feeling that you were once again misunderstood. So you feel the need to explain yourself and protect yourself.
You are restricted and even forbidden to express your displeasure, indignation or emotions. Therefore, you have to hide your feelings in order to avoid another scandal.
You often feel guilty, so you constantly try to repair the damage that you allegedly caused to your chosen one. You blame yourself, not her, for pulling away from you.
You have to carefully control your words, actions and emotions in order to maintain relationships. Your repressed feelings build up, causing you to sometimes explode like a volcano, although you have never acted like this before.

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Types of female manipulation

The vast majority of women manipulate men completely unconsciously. Their manipulations are already embedded in a behavior pattern that women do not attach any particular importance to, considering it to be quite normal in a relationship. (We have put together some tips to help a woman behave properly with a man so that he is afraid of losing her).

But there are psychological manipulations that harm relationships, destroying them. In order not to repeat yourself, read on Wikipedia how manipulators control their victims. (This description applies to both women and men.)

And we will look at 5 common female manipulations in order to know how to fight back a manipulator woman.

Manipulation of tears, hysteria

This is the first and most popular female trick. During their lives, absolutely all men will face it, and someone will live in this all the time. The purpose of this manipulative technique is to make a man feel pity and guilt. A woman learns the effectiveness of this technique since childhood, being a little girl. When she sought the desired sweetness or toys from dad with tears.

A professional manipulator woman knows that a man cannot endure her tears for long. At the DNA level, he has a need to protect and help her. Because he feels discomfort at the sight of a crying girl.

When a woman's requests or desires are ignored by a man, then she uses this trick to force her partner to make concessions to her. And after that, he will let him understand what is required of him in order to make amends for his guilt.

How to deal with a manipulator of a woman and her manipulation of tears

There is no need to indulge her if you are sure that your decision is right and you are not guilty of anything. Remember: most of the tears of a manipulative woman are not real. This is "crocodile tears" for manipulating the male will.

In order not to endure the sight of women crying or tantrums, go and take a walk for a while. So each of you can calm down. You can say, for example, the following: "If you so want to cry, making me the culprit of your tears, then cry, and I'll go for a walk in the fresh air."

This will show that you have seen through her trick. And whenever that happens, you do the same. Over time, your chosen one will understand that this manipulation is no longer effective, so it should be abandoned.

Manipulation with sex

This is one of the surest means that a manipulator woman uses in relationships. One can lose count of the number of great people who lost everything they had just because of this trick.

Surely many have met men who spent 95% of their salary for one day with a lady who skillfully and deftly manipulated them. They bought expensive things that cost more than their salary. And all this for the only reward - sex with her.

Some married women use this manipulation as an instrument of pressure on their husband. When she can reward her husband with sex for something, or vice versa, punish him with the lack of intimate relationships. Such husbands have to please their wives in every possible way, just to “deserve/earn” the right to intimacy, not to get it by right .

How does man manipulate sex?

As a rule, everything starts with small requests: to take someone somewhere, to buy some small change, to fulfill a small whim. Each time there are more and more requests. As soon as a man refuses something to his chosen one, she blocks his access to her body. But as soon as he admits his guilt, repents and begins to fulfill his whims, this access will again open before him.

Over time men develop a conditioned reflex : if you behave well, then you get a "super prize", but if you don't, that's your problem. Sounds familiar?

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How to resist a manipulator of a woman and manipulation of sex

You need to resist through an open and direct conversation. Seriously explain to your companion that female manipulation of sex most often causes male infidelity. Therefore, she should think in advance about who can become the culprit in them and what this can lead to.

Secondly, when you notice that a woman is using sex as a leverage to force you to go against her will, refrain from intimacy yourself. Motivating this by the fact that do not buy love .

Before moving on to the next point, we want to say that in this case you need to be prepared for two scenarios:

She is aware of the stupidity of her act and will never again try to manipulate you with sex.
A woman can break off relations with you and leave.

Manipulation with jealousy or provocation of a man

One of the most common types of female manipulation is inciting jealousy.

Warning : Intentionally making a partner jealous is a risky strategy to gain attention. This can harm the relationship to the point where the man breaks up with you.

Manipulation played out according to different scenarios:

a story about an ex
a computer "accidentally" opened with an ambiguous e-mail
meeting another man in the hope that someone will notice and tell her partner
some women send themselves flowers and tell the man they have no idea about the one who sent them, or vice versa, declare that he gave a secret admirer.

The purpose of such manipulations is to generate male jealousy. This is a kind of "stimulating therapy" so that a man feels that he can lose his woman and does not behave with her so self-confidently. By making him believe in the presence of a rival, she thereby increases her own value in the eyes of a man.

Most often used when the girl feels that the relationship is beginning to fade, and the partner's interest in her is fading.

The second option is that the girl acts as a jealous woman. The goal is to nurture guilt and make excuses so that a man gets used to giving a full account of his pastime. Whoever makes excuses is guilty, therefore he is obliged to do what is required of him.

As a rule, at first a woman is simply interested in where her chosen one is, worries, worries about him. But over time, she tries tame a guy to report on his every step, if he does not want to see jealousy tantrums. He is obliged to inform her about where and with whom he is.

How to communicate with a manipulator woman and resist her jealousy

Let's consider three options:

If you are absolutely sure that your woman has no one, and flowers and an accidentally left letter are just a provocation, then do the same. As they say, "a wedge is knocked out with a wedge."
Calmly but firmly let your chosen one understand the principle of headship in the house , explaining that a man is not accountable to a woman, but vice versa. Therefore, you are not going to report for every step you take, and you will not be hanging on the phone for half an hour, talking about anything. A reasonable girl, after several times of such “therapy”, will stop spying on you and apologize for her behavior.
If the variant is running and your chosen one continues baseless "surveillance", then tire her with your calls. For example, call every five minutes for any reason you think up. A few days of such “treatment” will discourage the girl from manipulating you in a relationship. (By the way, 8 tips on how to stop being jealous of your man will be useful reading for jealous women).

Shame and fear manipulation

“Have you decided to start your own business? Yes, you are a loser in life, it’s better to sit quietly at your job so that you don’t get fired. ” Or “he found something to be happy about, you see, the director praised him for his quality work. Now, if he made you the head of the department - then, yes.

With this manipulative technique, some women try to destroy a man's self-esteem and lower his self-esteem. Thus, in the bud, strangling any pride of a man for his achievements, developed qualities or successes. Gradually, the woman forms in him the image of a "klutz".

How not to fall for female manipulation and maintain self-esteem

If your relationship is at the stage of cohabitation or courtship, then it is better for you to leave. It is unlikely that you will be able to teach her conflict-free communication. With her, it will be a thankless task.
The advice for married men is this: don't tell your life partner about some of your plans or achievements. Try to keep such topics of conversation to a minimum until you achieve results.

Manipulation of women's reproaches

The essence of this manipulative technique is to ask an accusatory question instead of a polite request. For example, a woman does not say a request: “Dear, please go get some bread,” but asks a shamefully accusatory question: “That I couldn’t stop by and buy bread on the way home, do I really have to remind you of this all the time, you yourself can’t guess about it?"

As you understand, the woman in this case does not expect an answer to her accusing question. Her goal is to arouse feelings of guilt, and then responsibility for the alleged emotional suffering that she had to endure from the actions or inaction of her life partner.

A man, faced with such manipulation, will always feel unjustifiably ashamed. Manipulative reproaches also include the following phrases:

You never listen to me
You always do what you want

With the words “never and always” in the form of a reproach, a manipulator woman nullifies all the past merits of her man. (In this regard, we advise you to learn some practical tips on how to properly communicate with a man in order to maintain a relationship).

I wonder if there are any men who have not gone through a similar manipulation at least once in their lives?

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How to resist female manipulation and reproaches

Try to calmly explain to your girlfriend that you do not perceive reproaches, but you are more willing to listen to polite requests. And if she needs something, then let her politely ask or remind about it. Especially if she does not want to turn you into a gendarme who will constantly reproach and blame her herself.

If a girl allows herself to talk to a guy in this tone, then without anger, but firmly tell her the following: “Who taught you to treat guys so rudely? If I were your teacher, I would definitely have to spank you!” The most interesting thing is that it actually works!

And remember: a person cannot be held responsible for the emotions or mood of another person.

Wrapping Up

It's ironic that we are manipulated in our relationships by the people we love the most. You can love your woman and suddenly realize that you are doing something for her that you would not normally agree to do.

Whereas a manipulative woman does not perceive her manipulations as something immoral. She sees them as a way to influence a man, tell him about her feelings and share emotions.

Learn more