Why do i hate work so much
Why young people hate their jobs so much
"Parks and Recreation" - Season 5
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While waiting in line at the grocery store one night, I overheard a man venting about his millennial employees.
"Their minds are always elsewhere," he said as his wife nodded in agreement. "They're entitled, disengaged, lazy and hard to manage."
As a Gen X'er, I've heard just about every millennial stereotype imaginable. But as a therapist who has been working with millennials (they make up 90% of my patients) for more than than five years, I've actually found them to be a highly intelligent, idealistic, diverse and ambitious bunch.
Like any other generation, millennials have a lot of issues to work through. But I had to agree with the guy ― to an extent: Most millennials do struggle at work.
Each and every one of my millennial patients has at one point said to me: "I hate my job." (It always makes me think of Johnny Paycheck's classic hit "Take This Job and Shove It. ")
Why young people hate their jobs
Millennials dominate the workforce, but according to a 2016 Gallup poll, 71% of them aren't engaged at work ― and at least 60% are open to new job opportunities.
Gallup's research, which combined 30 separate studies and data from more than 1 million respondents, found that the millennial workforce is predominantly checked out.
"They aren't putting energy or passion into their jobs," according to Gallup's researchers. "They're indifferent about work and simply show up just to put in the hours."
There are many potential reasons as to why millennial work engagement is so low, but there are some of the biggest ones:
- Unrealistically high expectations of what their day-to-day work lives would be like
- Impatience and frustration because they want career advancement in months vs. years
- Social media overload, which can create a distorted reality where everyone else seems to have an amazing life
- Employers who aren't providing new opportunities or compelling reasons for them to stick around
Losing the 'I hate my job' mentality
Not everyone hates their jobs for the same reasons. Maybe they work in a toxic work culture or there's a lack of positive reinforcement from management.
But based on my experience working with hundreds of millennial patients, the biggest reason is that the realities of the workplace didn't match their expectations. If you're a millennial who falls under this category, here's my advice:
1. Stop saying, "I hate my job"
Almost everyone I know, regardless of their generation, has worked a job they hated. It's essentially a right of passage into adulthood.
I can't stress enough the importance of cultivating and prioritizing strong and healthy relationships.
But complaining won't get you anywhere. So instead of saying, "I hate my job," challenge yourself to dig deeper into what exactly it is about your job that makes you unhappy. Maybe you're upset you didn't get a promotion or maybe you feel you're too advanced for the responsibilities you've been given.
Once you identify your reasons, ask yourself: What is within my control to change?
If you didn't get that promotion, why not ask your boss what it'll take to get it? If you think you're ready to take on bigger challenges, why not take initiative on other tasks to prove you can add even more value to the company?
2. Lower your expectations, raise your standards
Expectations and standards are not the same. Let's differentiate:
- An expectation is a person's strong belief that something will or won't happen. Because it's more fictitious than factual, it can often lead to disappointment when the anticipated result isn't achieved. It's important to remember that expectations are beliefs, not facts.
- A person's standard, on the other hand, is a level of quality that they're willing to accept as the norm. It becomes their foundation of judgment. Standards are rooted in facts, data or patterns, and can create a framework for making decisions that are consistent with one's values.
In order to balance the two, work on holding your standards in a high place, while not expecting those standards to be met 100% of the time. It's all about control ― and in this case, the only things within your control are the standards you set for yourself and for those around you.
3. Weigh your options and be patient
Millennials are widely known for prioritizing purpose over paycheck when it comes to choosing a job, which is indeed admirable.
But before you decide to quit and start applying to different jobs, take some time to figure out what you really value and what kind of impact you want to have.
Almost everyone I know, regardless of their generation, has worked a job they hated. It's a right of passage into adulthood.
Once you start to understand the things that truly matter to you, it'll be easier to find a job that fits you best. Also keep in mind that you're not going to land your dream job right away.
Successful people focus on what they can learn from their current role and how the skills and experience they take away can attract bigger opportunities. Patience is key, and it'll likely be years before you can proudly say, "I love my job."
4. Be kind to yourself
Two things not to do when you job makes you feel angry, stressed or frustrated:
- Internalize them
- Turn to social media for comfort
Instead, reach out to your friends, family, co-workers, mentors or even a therapist for support. I can't stress enough the importance of cultivating and prioritizing strong and healthy relationships. Reaching out to people who genuinely care and will listen to you is one of the most effective ways to cope with stress.
Tess Brigham is a San Francisco-based psychotherapist and certified life coach. She has more than 10 years of experience in the field and primarily works with millennials and parents of millennials.
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Why Do I Hate My Job? | Reasons You Hate Your Job
If you hate your job, you’re not alone.
According to a recent study, around 50% of Americans don’t feel that they are in good jobs.
You could hate your job for a lot of different reasons. As a therapist for anxious millennials, I consistently help people understand why they hate their jobs and what they can do about it.
That’s what I’ll discuss here.
So why do I hate my job so much?
You’re on the wrong path
Sometimes, your career choice simply isn’t right for you.
We choose our careers for a lot of different reasons.
Maybe your friends and family made a career suggestion, and you pursued it because you thought you would be good at it and like it. Maybe you made a decision when you were young that seemed wise at the time. Or maybe you felt like you were running out of time, so you made a practical choice to make ends meet and avoid judgment.
Whatever your reason, you may not be happy with your choice, and that’s okay.
It isn’t a good work culture
Some work cultures are harmful. Even if you like what you do, your workplace may make it impossible to enjoy.
In the workplace, there are few things worse than a bad boss.
Some bosses micromanage, which is known to have negative effects on employees. Other bosses bully their employees and are unnecessarily harsh when things don’t go perfectly.
Just because a boss is in a managerial position doesn’t mean that they should be.
Some workplaces are toxic.
You can tell that you’re in a toxic workplace if you’re negatively affected by your job when you’re not working. Increased anxiety, frustration, hopelessness, and other things are strong indicators.
Toxic workplaces exhibit one or more of the following things:
- Employees and management are gossipy
- It’s extremely competitive
- Management and/or coworkers are verbally abusive
- The company is generally mismanaged (like I mentioned earlier)
- You’re overworked (and you’re guilted when you don’t work as much as what is tacitly or explicitly expected)
- Employees are generally unhappy
- The workplace is racist, sexist, or discriminates based on sexual orientation, disability, age, pregnancy, etc.
We’ll discuss discrimination more next.
It’s no secret that many workplaces discriminate against disadvantaged groups of people.
Discrimination in a workplace can take the form of harassment, abuse, missed opportunities, and more. Some forms of discrimination are illegal, so be aware of legal recourse if needed.
You’re not challenged
You might be bored.
To feel more challenged, you need more challenging work, room for growth, or advanced projects. If you don’t have access to these opportunities, you may feel defeated and unmotivated.
You’re not compensated well
It’s frustrating when your hard work isn’t reflected in your bank account.
Finances aside, you may feel unappreciated.
Sometimes companies skimp on employee benefits too.
When you work hard for a company, you should be able to expect adequate compensation and benefits that reflect how much your company values you and your contribution.
The work isn’t meaningful
If your job isn’t meaningful to you, you may feel less motivated to perform well.
Many of us need to feel like we’re making a difference to be happy with our work. If you’re one of those people, it’s not surprising that you’re wondering why you hate your job.
You’re burnt out
Many of us “hustle” for years to get where we are.
If you haven’t been able to rest or take care of yourself, it isn’t easy to enjoy and feel content in our work. You may need time off to recharge.
Ways to avoid hating your job
You can try a few tactics to feel more satisfied with your job.
Consider changing your career
When you hate your job, sometimes the only solution is to find a new career.
If you’re feeling stuck on what to pursue, you can:
- Discuss potential new careers with friends and family
- Take quizzes on what jobs suit your skills and interests
- Hire a career coach
It can be discouraging to look for a new career. Sometimes it’s hard to find something, or maybe you feel trapped by student debt or responsibility. Be careful to weigh your options and the potential consequences of pursuing a different career before deciding.
Examine other parts of your life
Sometimes dissatisfaction in one part of our lives signals dissatisfaction in other parts.
How are your relationships? Are they toxic or filled with conflict?
How is your home life? Are you comfortable and happy at home?
How is your lifestyle? Are you taking care of yourself?
Many of my clients feel stuck and dissatisfied in many areas of their lives, including work. Sometimes the issue is deeper and more integrated across all areas of your life.
Look for other jobs
Do you love the work but hate the workplace?
Scroll through LinkedIn, ZipRecruiter, Indeed, etc. Apply for a couple of other jobs, or read listings to get a sense of what other jobs and workplaces are like.
Browsing can make you feel empowered and hopeful about your future.
Gain new skills
You may need new skills to transition into a new line of work or a job.
Identify skills that you need (and would enjoy learning and doing) and find courses or other materials online to help you learn. There are many inexpensive resources online, so you can learn on a budget and on your own time.
Increase your job satisfaction with therapy
Many of my clients experience job dissatisfaction. It’s one of my clients’ most common complaints.
I specialize in helping anxious millennials. We’re often burnt out, lost, and feel stuck. In my experience, dissatisfaction in our work is connected to dissatisfaction in other parts of our lives. That’s why I help my clients understand themselves, what they really want to be doing, and how to manage anxiety about work and life.
If you’d like to discuss how I can help you, feel free to schedule a consultation with me. We’ll get to know each other and determine if we’d be a good fit for therapy.
Meet the author
Danielle is an anxiety therapist. She specializes in helping busy millennials dial down their anxiety and ADHD, so they can perform at their best. Danielle has been featured on Apartment Therapy, SparkPeople, Lifewire, and Now Art World. When Danielle isn't helping her clients, she's playing video games or spending time with her partner and step children.
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Why don't I like my job? - Clearly on vc.ru
ClearDecember 7, 2021 At the same time, the vast majority are not ready to do anything to find a more suitable job. Why is that? Why don't people like their job at all? We argue with the psychologist "Clearly", Nadezhda Kuzmina. nine0012
Of course, the reasons can be very different: do not like colleagues, travel far, uncomfortable work schedule, boring tasks, your ideas are not listened to, company values are not close to you , and so on. Let's analyze just a few of them.
They chosefor me
Unfortunately, for many, the choice of work is not quite their own choice. Parents from childhood try to guess our desires, unconsciously imposing their beliefs. Lack of understanding of our real desires and needs often leads to unloved work. nine0003
There is such a concept - "the child as a narcissistic extension of the parent." This means that the parent is not really interested in the child, does not see him as a separate person. Uses the child to realize their own expectations and ideas. From childhood, a false self is formed in a person, from where it can then be difficult to isolate the real self. You have to choose a job not because he likes it, but because it meets the expectations of the parent.
It happens that people choose work as a way to prove something (to the same parent). I can, I am worthy. There is a choice for evil. The psychological mechanisms are similar. It's not a choice based on one's own desires and their realization - that work that will bring pleasure - but a choice imposed from outside .
Although pleasure will sooner or later collide with the routine part of any work, the choice of work "for love" makes it possible to more easily endure this routine, boredom or lack of interest. The routine side will be compensated by the desire to develop in the chosen profession and learn something new.
psychoanalytically oriented therapist, psychologist Yasno
As a result of an imposed choice, a person finds himself where he does not want to be. A job, no matter how prestigious, never becomes a favorite.
Unhealthy atmosphere at work, of course, also does not contribute to positive emotions. We recently wrote about how to recognize a toxic boss. Dissatisfaction with superiors is one of the most common reasons for dismissals. And if it is impossible to quit for some reason, it turns out that a person is in an unloved job. nine0003
People often do not like their profession because of the way relationships develop in a team. Quite a large percentage of people quit their jobs at the slightest conflict. But some are afraid to openly confront (a similar fear is also, of course, associated with the child-parent scenario) and will masochistically endure and endure the harsh psychological treatment of the boss for fear of saying something. They will do the work, but they will not love.
Nadezhda Kuzmina, psychoanalytically oriented therapist, Yasno psychologist
Lack of meaning
Some people don't like their job because they don't see the point in it. The phenomenon of bullshit jobs has been well described by anthropologist David Graeber. First of all, this concerns office, “intellectual” work.
“The worst part of the job is when it's already done and you still have to pretend to be busy with it. Work must have results, and work without results is violence against people. And now you understand that there are people who go through the whole working day like this! They never paint the house, they just have to pretend to work. Must pretend." nine0003
(David Graeber interviewed)
If there are any positive consequences of the coronavirus pandemic, then perhaps one of them is that people have become somewhat less engaged in “crazy work”. Many have started working from home, there is less external control and more opportunities to go about your business if there are no work tasks at the moment - and not just sit and pretend that you are working.
Internal conflictnine0002 It happens that a person develops idealistic ideas about what his work should be. And then the collision with reality is likely to lead to disappointment. After all, no job is pure pleasure.
If at the same time it is not possible to quit work, since it satisfies our basic needs, allows us to “feed our family”, internal conflict (I would leave, but circumstances do not allow) will undermine us, deprive us of strength, cause discontent and irritation. Such unproductive stress, chronic irritation psychologists call distress . It can eventually cause to burn out .
Nadezhda Kuzmina, psychoanalytically oriented therapist, Yasno psychologist
Quitting work and thinking about what a person really wants is often hindered by inner fear and social pressure — the requirement to “be a good husband” or “a good mother”, have a prestigious job, and earn good money.
Another common type of internal conflict is perfectionism , excessive demands on yourself. A person is never satisfied with the result, it seems to him that he can do even better or that other people would do better. As a result, he is doomed to a constant race, "search for the Grail in his own head." A perfectionist can never stop and say, "Job done well enough." In this case, the work will cause resistance, a feeling of dislike.
Whatever the reason for the negative attitude to work, it is important to realize as early as possible that the profession should bring joy to you personally. Psychotherapy will help to distinguish your own desires from those imposed and find a job to your liking. nine0003
I hate my job: what to do - karpachoff.com
If you have ever said to yourself the phrase “I hate my job”, then a few minutes of reading this article will definitely do the trick. Unfortunately, unloved work is a real scourge of modern society. Many of us have been or are right now in this terrible state of hopelessness, impasse and absolute moral exhaustion.
Today we will talk about what reasons push us to go to work through force. And also try to find out if anything can be done if there is no way to leave. nine0101
Why I hate my job
Most people are said to hate office work. In fact, it's just as easy to not want to go to a factory, a government agency, or the cab of a truck. And there are almost always good reasons for this.
Here are the main reasons we hate our jobs:
1. We are in the wrong place .
Unfortunately, almost every inhabitant of our country, and indeed most countries, does not do his job and hates his job. In other words, approximately 80% of people are where they never planned and never wanted to be. nine0003
Because of this, you have to engage in activities that you never dreamed of and even have any positive feelings for them.
2. Wrong choice of education .
Someone went to college at the too urgent request of their parents or for the company of a friend. They told me that then you need to go to the specialty. It seems to be logical. Only for some reason every morning is ready for anything, just not to spend another day at an unloved job. nine0003
3. Good salary or a cool social package .
A good reason to do something you never had a heart for. At the beginning of this bargain with conscience, it seems that a decent income will make us happy, change the life of the family for the better, open up new prospects for children and the list goes on.
After a while, the understanding comes that the salary is not so big, and go to work through force. An inconvenient schedule, uninteresting tasks, a tyrant boss, a disgusting team, as well as a risk to health or even life, are definitely not worth the money. nine0003
4. Forced continuation of family business .
For example, your grandfather was a furniture maker, your father opened a small furniture factory, and your mother and sister also work there. You are obliged to do the same, even though it is an unloved job. At the same time, it does not matter at all that since the age of eight you have dreamed of a medical institute. Everyone knew this, but the business of the family is more important.
5. You don't know how to monetize what you like .
Many people have dreamed of painting, stories, novels or poetry since childhood. Someone dreamed of doing music or other activities related to art. Very often, parents devalue this desire. nine0003
There is even such a meme on the Internet: there are only five professions for parents - an accountant, a lawyer, a teacher, a doctor, and a disgrace to the family. Unfortunately, in such conditions it is very difficult to understand how to monetize your hobby and earn at least as much as the average accountant. Therefore, such dreams too often remain only dreams, and a person admits to himself: "I hate my job."
Although absolutely each of us has chances to succeed in any field. nine0003
Perhaps you lack a little energy to move from a boring job to a creative profession. Where to get it and what can be done in such a situation, read the article "What is female energy and where to get it" .
6. It is difficult to find a job in the specialty .
Yes, this happens too. For example, you learned to be a food technologist. They returned to their hometown, and there are only one and a half vacancies open, and everywhere they want people with experience. nine0003
Just then a friend turned up with an offer to become a manager in a transport company. With a slight movement of your hand, you agree, and for several months now you have been taking someone's place, saying: "I hate my job and the whole world."
7. You don't know what you want.
Therefore, do whatever comes to hand. After school, you were not eager to become a doctor, cosmetologist or flight attendant, so you immediately went to work or went to a technical school or institute, which was closer to home. nine0003
Jobs were sought on the same principle. All that we managed to understand is that you are not doing what you need. Already not bad, but it is still desirable to fully understand yourself and understand how to stop hating work.
8. You are afraid to leave your job .
This is really very scary. Even if it seems to you that the work of a lifetime has been found and all that remains is to lend a hand. But she stretches out somehow uncertainly, with trembling fingers and very slowly.
Because “what if?”. What if it doesn’t work out, they won’t pay, they will ridicule or dislike? What to do in such a situation? Return back? Or maybe, since such a thing, and not start at all? nine0003
Sometimes, in order to leave an unloved job , we simply lack a couple of practical tips that will definitely work in practice, help you quit calmly, without scandals and stress. If there is no suitable person nearby with such recommendations, read the article "Quit your job: 6 tips on how to decide to quit" .
Let's try to figure out if something can be done with all this without fundamental changes right here and now. nine0003
How to stop hating your job: 8 tips
You have already realized that you hate your job to the point of tears, but, unfortunately, you will not be able to leave. Not in a week, not in a month, and maybe even in a year. What can I really do right now so as not to completely go crazy?
Keep a selection of tips and tricks. Even if they don't help you fall in love with a job you hate, it will still come in handy to start suffering from it a little less. nine0003
Find the reason
Yes, the very reason that keeps you in this place and makes you go to work through force. If you manage to find the main enemy and look him in the face, it will immediately become much easier. First, because the fear of the unknown will go away. Secondly, processes to solve this problem will automatically start in the brain. And it, this decision, can be different.
It often happens that your very activity is not too much and is to blame for the fact that you go to work through force. For example, you basically like to sit at the computer, draw up documents, drink coffee and look out the window. If it weren't for... A slightly inadequate boss, mean gossip colleagues or a low corporate culture in the company. nine0003
When you understand what exactly causes irritation, anger, fear, or weariness, try to work through this problem pointwise. Moreover, in this situation, the game will definitely be worth the candle. Because at stake, no less, your daily comfort and psychological health.
We often stay long hours in jobs we hate because of self-doubt. Try to change this situation. Start with article "How to Become a Confident Woman: 7 Basic Rules" .
Think about career development
If you can't get outside of a particular organization, why not think about how to improve your position within it. Yes, a promotion or just a new position will most likely require you to expand your area of responsibility, but at the same time you will receive more rights and freedoms within the team. In addition, moving to a higher position, as well as changing a department or, for example, one office building to another, often solves the problem of misunderstanding with the boss and colleagues. nine0003
If you hate office work, why not think of something more appropriate? For example, tell your boss that you've been sitting in one place, want to improve your skills, work on a new project, or even learn a new specialty without leaving the walls of your favorite company? This is a good way out when you want to understand how to stop hating work.
Many managers go out of their way to help employees in such situations. This is better than experiencing severe stress every day and accumulating resentment against others. Which, by the way, destroys from the inside not only your psyche, but also your body. nine0003
The opportunity to learn something new is a great way to make a big difference in a job you hate. For example, if you are just bored, uninteresting and at the same time have free time, use it for learning. So you kill two birds with one stone - you will learn something useful and new without sacrificing time.
Training may or may not be job related. But if you study what you really like and are really interested in, it will fill your life and help you wait out temporary difficulties. nine0003
And who knows, perhaps it is education that will help you say goodbye to the hated job in the future, which you just can't leave right now.
For everything to work out, it is very important to set a specific goal and move towards it in the right direction. The video “How to set goals correctly so that they can be achieved” will help you determine the desired vector of movement .
Do not compare yourself to others
It happens that you hate the team at work. It is especially unpleasant when an employee earns more, is younger than you, and it seems that all benefits are given to him very easily and undeservedly.
In fact, everything is not so simple. Remember that everywhere there will be someone more successful than you. Each person has his own path, each of us is initially in different conditions, and believe me, absolutely everyone pays their price for any achievements. And in most cases, we have a very vague idea of what the price is. nine0003
For this reason, the only person with whom it makes sense to compare yourself even in an unloved job is yourself. And who knows, if you manage to become the best version of yourself in the near future, perhaps your boss and colleagues will appreciate this transformation, and the long-awaited success will turn from a dream into reality.
Do not make the current situation worse
It happens that you say “I hate my job”, you show dissatisfaction with all your looks, while doing nothing and inflaming the situation yourself. Even if you have a bad relationship with your superiors or colleagues, there are at least three ways out in this situation. nine0003
The first is to leave everything as it is. The second is to continue to swear and further raise the degree of tension in the team. The third is to try to somehow defuse the situation and at least slightly improve the situation.
The choice is up to you. Even if everything is really bad, think first of all about yourself and how to behave in an unloved job so that you feel better first of all. And after that, develop a new action plan based on the findings.
Think about personal boundaries
Very often, a job becomes unloved simply because we try to be good for everyone at once. For example, we consider it inconvenient to refuse petty requests from colleagues. If you do not stop in time, the hour is not far away when the whole working day will consist only of them. But you also have your own responsibilities.
So it turns out that in fact you are already working for two, mentally cursing everything and grumbling - "I hate my job. " There can be no question of any comfort in such conditions. Learn to say “no” and do only what is right for you. You will be surprised how pleasant and easy daily duties can become. nine0003
Trust and delegate
You may hate your job simply because you don't know how to delegate properly and are simply tired. This problem is usually faced by novice managers. It is very difficult to entrust new subordinates with some important tasks.
As a result, instead of management and other duties of a boss, one has to pick up, secure, patch holes and put out fires. Well, when a person works in a constant rush mode, even a favorite job very quickly turns into hard labor. nine0003
Don't feel sorry for yourself
And most importantly, stop feeling sorry for yourself. This is destructive behavior from the point of view of psychology. So you will only make the situation worse, your condition even more nervous and tense, and possibly ruin your relationship with colleagues.