The introvert mom
Introverted Mom by Jamie C. Martin - Ebook
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Your personality is a gift, not a liability. This book helps you uncover and embrace the hope, laughter, and joy of using your unique gifts to parent your children.
Life as a mom is LOUD, but you long for quiet.
When the volume of family life clashes with your personality, frustration, guilt, and overwhelm naturally result. In Introverted Mom, author Jamie C. Martin lifts these burdens from your shoulders, reminding you that your steady strength is exactly what your family needs in this chaotic world.
Jamie shares vulnerable stories from her own life as well as thoughts from other introverted mothers, letting you know you're not alone. Her practical suggestions and creative inspiration are enhanced with quotes and insights from four beloved writers--Louisa May Alcott, Jane Austen, L.
M. Montgomery, and Laura Ingalls Wilder. Together, Jamie and this band of fellow introverts share their wisdom on . . .
- Believing that you're enough
- Self-acceptance that leads to freedom
- Navigating heartache and disappointment
- Stretching out of your comfort zone
- Connecting with God as an introvert
- Cultivating calm wherever you are
- Defining for yourself what really matters
Whether you've just realized you're an introvert, or if you've known it all along, this book is for you. It's time to honor who you are and savor life as an introverted mom.
*Note: Written from a Christian perspective
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LanguageEnglish
PublisherZondervan
Release dateMay 7, 2019
ISBN9780310354987
Author
Jamie C. Martin
Jamie Martin is a highly sensitive, introverted mama of three, who loves books, tea, and people (not always in that order) and avoids answering the phone when possible.
Author of Give Your Child the World, she shares thoughts on parenting and personality over at introvertedmoms.com. She lives with her family in Connecticut.
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Introverted Mom - Jamie C. Martin
This book combines two of my favorite things: personality insights and literary heroines.
ANNE BOGEL, FOUNDER OF MODERN MRS. DARCY AND AUTHOR OF READING PEOPLE
Introverted Mom is a steady stream of inspiration for those of us who regularly feel depleted keeping up
with the pace and decibel of an extroverted world. As I read Jamie’s words, I felt more affirmed than I have in a long time. Seeing my own introverted tendencies as worthy traits and not needy
quirks completely shifts the focus away from feeling not enough to celebrating the gifts that come with my personality.
I wish I could set a copy of this book on the night stand of every introverted mother to remind her that understanding herself more deeply, making peace with who she is and designing her life to honor her natural traits is the greatest gift she can offer herself and her family.
LISA GRACE BYRNE, FOUNDER AND DIRECTOR OF WELLGROUNDED LIFE
In a world that urges us to do more and be more, Jamie invites introverted moms to embrace the way God created us. With quick wit and charming literary profiles, each chapter will leave you feeling like you’ve just had a cup of tea with a new friend. I’m so glad Jamie had the courage to put into words the reality so many of us face on a daily basis, reminding us that we are not alone.
ASHERITAH CIUCIU, FOUNDER OF ONE THING ALONE AND AUTHOR OF FULL
Jamie is a genius for taking the time to write this book. I think every woman should read it. We all want to run away and refuel on a regular basis, which is essential to emotional, spiritual and mental health.
Jamie gives us permission and validation to care for ourselves. As a fellow introvert, I wish I’d had this book many years ago!
SALLY CLARKSON, AUTHOR, SPEAKER, MOTHER, AND FELLOW INTROVERT AT SALLYCLARKSON.COM
Though I’ve been an introverted mom for over fifteen years, I still found myself reading Jamie’s words with a highlighter in one hand and a tissue in the other. It’s a relief to be reminded that my introversion is not a burden to my family, but a gift. Introverted Mom is a timely reminder to lean in to who we are and how we’re made. I wish I’d had this book when my kids were babies!
EMILY P. FREEMAN, WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF SIMPLY TUESDAY
As a mom of six, I spent too many years following advice that didn’t fit my introverted temperament. I wish I’d had Jamie Martin’s book years ago! Jamie gives people like me permission to be ourselves and offers unique tips for how to thrive in our daily lives.
JENNIFER FULWILER, SIRIUSXM RADIO HOST AND AUTHOR OF ONE BEAUTIFUL DREAM
What I love most about Jamie Martin’s Introverted Mom is her insightful encouragement to accept and embrace our own style of motherhood.
We might all share the title of Mom,
but we all possess different strengths, limits, tendencies, visions and heart compositions that set us apart. This book offers tangible ways of honoring our personalities, while gaining so many of Martin’s now famous how-to’s on becoming our best, most authentic selves.
JESSICA KASTNER, AUTHOR OF HIDING FROM THE KIDS IN MY PRAYER CLOSET AND BLOGGER AT JESSICAKASTNER.COM
Creatively woven with the wisdom of classic literary cohorts, Jamie’s voice in these pages offers hope for the hidden 50 percent. Finally: a motherhood anthem we introverts can dance to. (Quietly. In our bedrooms. Alone.)
ERIN LOECHNER, FOUNDER OF OTHERGOOSE.COM AND AUTHOR OF CHASING SLOW
I’m an extrovert, but I was delighted to discover myself in so many of this book’s pages, too. We all have to both extrovert and introvert at different times, after all. Jamie’s book is nourishing for the soul.
SARAH MACKENZIE, AUTHOR OF THE READ-ALOUD FAMILY AND CREATOR OF THE READ-ALOUD REVIVAL PODCAST
I can’t tell you how many emails I have received from worn-out, introverted moms hiding in their bathrooms, the only place of brief respite in their homes.
At last, Jamie Martin has written a book specifically for you, and in these pages you will begin to let go of unattainable extroverted mom ideals and find rest and strength to live and love as yourselves. Close the bathroom door, open this book, and be free!
ADAM MCHUGH, AUTHOR OF INTROVERTS IN THE CHURCH
Introverted Mom reminded me that introversion/extroversion is a spectrum, and that we identify with aspects of both sides at different seasons of our lives. Even though I lean toward the extroverted side of that spectrum, the loud, 24/7 role of motherhood has made me more aware than ever of my need to get away and recharge. Jamie’s words showed me that I’m not alone in that need and gave me a guilt-free permission slip to care for myself.
ERIN ODOM, AUTHOR OF MORE THAN JUST MAKING IT AND CREATOR OF THEHUMBLEDHOMEMAKER.COM
This book is the encouragement I wish I had when my kids were younger. In these pages, Jamie manages to both lovingly remind us introverts that we’re not alone in our parenting experiences, and inspire us to roll up our sleeves and do the beautiful work of raising our kids our way, leaning into the way we’re made instead of fighting against it.
Her voice is full of wisdom, humor, and much needed here-in-the-trenches-with-you.
TSH OXENREIDER, AUTHOR OF AT HOME IN THE WORLD
Parenting is hard. It requires being around people constantly; little people who are loud and messy and inquisitive without end. Their ceaseless energy has the power to weary the most outgoing, extroverted mom, and for the introverted mom this can prove crippling. Introverted Mom is a gift to those of us who have struggled to find a peaceful and gentle rhythm in this chaotic season of our lives.
WENDY SPEAKE, CO-AUTHOR OF TRIGGERS
Jamie has a beautiful way of meeting introverted moms right where they are and giving them tools for carrying on. Her encouragement throughout these pages is genuine, practical, and tangible. I felt understood and validated for who I am. What a gift. Introverted Mom is going to give many women a huge sigh of relief and confidence to navigate life in a way that feels authentic to them.
RACHEL MACY STAFFORD, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF HANDS FREE MAMA
After becoming a mom to an extroverted firstborn, I started to wonder if I might be an introvert, despite the fact that I am social and outgoing. Now I’m four kids into this motherhood gig, and my introverted side definitely struggles to cope! Reading Introverted Mom reminded me that I’m not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the joyful noises that fill my home, that needing to recharge doesn’t make me a bad mom, and that there are practical steps I can take to feed my quiet-loving heart. Drawing on the wisdom of some of my favorite literary introverts, Jamie Martin’s encouraging book is a balm to the soul.
HALEY STEWART, AUTHOR OF THE GRACE OF ENOUGH
As a mother of five and a full-time work-at-home mom, this book was nourishment for my tired spirit. Reading it was like having a (quiet) cup of tea with a friend. The pages are filled with empathy and understanding for the exhausted introvert who feels like she’s not enough.
Introverted Mom inspired me to own my strengths, and it helped me to feel less alone on my motherhood journey.
SUSAN STORM, FOUNDER OF PSYCHOLOGYJUNKIE.COM
ALSO BY JAMIE C. MARTIN
Give Your Child the World
Mindset for Moms
Steady Days
ZONDERVAN
Introverted Mom
Copyright © 2019 by Jamie C. Martin
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546
ISBN 978-0-310-35497-0 (softcover)
ISBN 978-0-310-35499-4 (audio)
ISBN 978-0-310-35498-7 (ebook)
Epub Edition March 2019 9780310354987
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Scripture quotations marked MSG [or The Message] are taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
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Cover Design: Faceout Studio
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For my (extroverted) mom and my
(introverted) dad—the first still on earth,
the second watching from heaven: Thanks
for your unconditional love, always.
contentsIntroduction: You Might Be an Introverted Mother If
PART 1: THE TRUE WAY TO LIVE
CHAPTER 1: the distance is nothing
On Discovering You’re an Introverted Mom
Retracing Childhood Clues
Reaching the Breaking Point
What I’ve Learned about Anger
CHAPTER 2: learning how to sail
On Believing That You’re Enough
Free to Be Who? On What Makes an Introvert
Sailing Your Ship: Lessons from Louisa May Alcott
An Introverted Mother’s Promise
CHAPTER 3: a new day
On the Freedom That Comes from Acceptance
Self-Care versus Self-Improvement
A HUGE List of True Self-Care Ideas for the Introverted Mom
The Freedom of Discovering What’s Yours
PART 2: GOVERNING IT WELL
CHAPTER 4: no great loss
On Navigating Heartache and Disappointment
Dealing with the Tough Stuff of Life Introvert-Style
Keeping Out the Shadows: Lessons from L.
M. Montgomery
Grace for the Introverted Mom
CHAPTER 5: tenderness of heart
On Marriage and Raising Children
Sparkle and Glow: On Differing Personality Types in Marriage
Loud and Proud: On Raising Extroverted Children as an Introverted Mom
Alone, Together: On Connecting With and Raising Introverts
CHAPTER 6: pruned down and branched out.
On Stretching out of Our Comfort Zones
Even If It’s Not a Definite Yes, It Could Still Be a Definite Yes
A (Hushed) Shout-Out to the Highly Sensitive
Kneeling in the Dirt, Waiting for the Growth
PART 3: A BETTER GUIDE
CHAPTER 7: always good company
On Good Books and Good Friends
Bonded through Books: The Introverted Mom’s Shortcut to Friendship
On Having Sense and Sensibility: Lessons from Jane Austen
Books Have Been My Counselors
CHAPTER 8: feel a prayer
On Connecting with God as an Introvert
Walking the Road of Faith as an Introvert
Introverted Moments in the Bible
10 Ways to Avoid Awkward Church Greeting Times
CHAPTER 9: as the years pass
On Watching Your Family Grow Up
Decisions, Decisions: What about School and Work?
On How It Gets Easier, but Also Harder
They Just Don’t Do That Anymore
PART 4: SIMPLE LITTLE PLEASURES
CHAPTER 10: in quiet places
On Cultivating Calm Wherever You Are
Quiet in Your World versus Quiet in Your Mind
Living Slow: Lessons from Laura Ingalls Wilder
A Dishwasher’s Meditation
CHAPTER 11: your own happiness
On Uncovering Joy
Stop Trying to Be Happy and You Just Might Be Happier
The Daily Checklist: A Tool for Prioritizing Positivity
If You Give an Introverted Mom a Smartphone
CHAPTER 12: a beautiful success
On Defining for Ourselves What Really Matters
A Fruit-Filled
Life: A New Definition of Success
Brave and Bad: On Being a Successful Mother
Dear Mom of That
Kid
An Introverted Mom’s Manifesto
Epilogue: Dear Fellow Introverted Moms
Acknowledgments
Notes
you might be an introverted mother if .
. . If you’ve ever hidden a stash of chocolate
on a high shelf in the bathroom,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you occasionally need to tell someone, "Go
to your room!" and that someone is you,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you get up early or stay up late, just to soak in the silence,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you’ve ever begged your husband to put the
kids to bed at the end of a long day,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you know you must build in recovery
time after every playdate,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you’ve ever worn earplugs during time
spent with your own children,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you’re secretly relieved when a
planned outing gets canceled,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you drop your child off for a lesson, and
feel lucky to sit in the car alone,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you sometimes wish you could do more, but your
body, mind, and spirit point out that you can’t,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you’ve ever asked someone else to take
your kids to a loud birthday party,
you might be an introverted mother.
If your idea of a perfect night is a hot bath and a good book,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you’ve ever felt guilty about giving the kids
screen time so you can have downtime,
you might be an introverted mother.
If chitchat exhausts you, but you love meaningful
conversation with a close friend,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you’ve ever retreated behind your bedroom
door and cried in overwhelm,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you avoid answering the telephone
unless it’s an emergency,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you’ve instituted a mandatory hour or
more of quiet time in the afternoons,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you consider your journal one of your
most treasured companions,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you’ve ever wondered why a typical
day can drain you completely,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you are compassionate, sensitive,
and love your family fiercely,
you might be an introverted mother.
If you believe a peaceful home is the best place in the world,
you might be an introverted mother.
And if you’re an introverted mother, this book is for you.
Do you ever wonder if you’re the only mom who feels this way? Like no one else gets you? Like the way motherhood affects you means you’re just not cut out for this 24/7 role?
Come closer, because I have a secret: Your personality is no accident.
In fact, you already have every trait you need to be the best unique mother for your unique kids. You may feel torn from your true self, though, because
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Introverted Mom - Jamie C. Martin
Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy
Motherhood is beautiful; motherhood is hard. All moms understand this paradoxical truth. Yet introverted mothers face unique challenges. When our quiet nature collides with our often loud role, frustration and guilt result. We wonder why motherhood feels at odds with our personality, and in our darkest moments fear we’re simply not cut out for the job.
In Introverted Mom, author Jamie C. Martin lifts the false burdens and negative stereotypes off your shoulders, letting you know you’re not alone. Your steady strength is exactly what your family needs in this chaotic world. And when you understand and accept your God-given personality, you’ll discover a freedom you may never have experienced before.
Jamie shares vulnerable stories from her own life as well as thoughts from other kindred-spirit moms, helping you add more calm to your days. Her practical suggestions and creative inspiration, combined with quotes and insights from four well-known introverted writers, point you back toward hope, laughter, and quiet joy. Whether you’ve just realized you’re an introvert, or if you’ve known it all along, this book is for you. It’s time to honor who you are and savor life as an introverted mom.
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What Others Are Saying
“This book combines two of my favorite things: personality insights and literary heroines.”
~ Anne Bogel, founder of Modern Mrs. Darcy and author of Reading People
“Jamie is a genius for taking the time to write this book.
I think every woman should read this, as we all want to run away and refuel on a regular basis. Jamie gives us permission and validation to care for ourselves. But, as a fellow introvert, I wish I had Jamie’s book many years ago! The deep felt need to withdraw in order to refuel is essential to emotional, spiritual and mental health. Thank you for writing this inspiring book especially for me!”
~ Sally Clarkson, author, speaker, mother, and fellow introvert
“Though I’ve been an introverted mom for over fifteen years, I still found myself reading Jamie’s words with a highlighter in one hand and a tissue in the other. It’s a relief to be reminded that my introversion is not a burden to my family, it’s a gift. Introverted Mom is a timely reminder to lean in to who we are and how we’re made. I wish I’d had this book when my kids were babies!”
~ Emily P. Freeman, Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Simply Tuesday and The Next Right Thing
“As a mom of six, I spent too many years following advice that didn’t fit my introverted temperament.
I wish I’d had Jamie Martin’s book years ago! Jamie gives people like me permission to be ourselves, and offers unique tips for how to thrive in our daily lives.”
~ Jennifer Fulwiler, SiriusXM radio host and author of One Beautiful Dream
“Creatively woven with the wisdom of classic literary cohorts, Jamie’s voice in these pages offers hope for the hidden 50%. Finally: a motherhood anthem we introverts can dance to. (Quietly. In our bedrooms. Alone.)”
~ Erin Loechner, founder of OtherGoose.com and Author of Chasing Slow
“I’m an extrovert, but I was delighted to discover myself in so many of this book’s pages, too. We all have to both extrovert and introvert at different times, after all. Jamie’s book is nourishing for the soul.”
~ Sarah Mackenzie, author of The Read Aloud Family and creator of The Read Aloud Revival podcast
“Jamie has a beautiful way of meeting introverted moms right where they are and giving them tools for carrying on.
Her encouragement throughout these pages is genuine, practical, and tangible, and I also loved how she included insights from other introverted mothers all around the world! When I finished reading this book, I felt understood … and validated for who I am. What a gift. Introverted Mom is going to give many women a huge sigh of relief and confidence to navigate life in a way that feels authentic to them.”
~ Rachel Macy Stafford, New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, and Only Love Today
“I can’t tell you how many emails I have received from worn-out, introverted moms hiding in their bathrooms, the only place of brief respite in their homes. At last, Jamie Martin has written a book specifically for you, and in these pages you will begin to let go of unattainable extroverted mom ideals and find rest and strength to live and love as yourselves. Close the bathroom door, open this book, and be free!”
~ Adam McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church
“This book is the encouragement I wish I had when my kids were younger.
In these pages, Jamie manages to both lovingly remind us introverts that we’re not alone in our parenting experiences, and inspire us to roll up our sleeves and do the beautiful work of raising our kids our way, leaning into the way we’re made instead of fighting against it. Her voice is full of wisdom, humor, and much needed here-in-the-trenches-with-you.”
~ Tsh Oxenreider, author of At Home in the World: Reflections on Belonging While Wandering the Globe
“As a mother of five and a full-time work-at-home mom, this book was nourishment for my tired spirit. Reading it was like having a (quiet) cup of tea with a friend. The pages are filled with empathy and understanding for the exhausted introvert who feels like she’s not enough. Introverted Mom inspired me to own my strengths, and it helped me to feel less alone on my motherhood journey.”
~ Susan Storm, founder of PsychologyJunkie.com
Meet Jamie
Jamie C.
Martin is an introverted mom of three, who loves books, tea, and people (not always in that order), and avoids answering the phone when possible.
She created the site Steady Mom in 2009 and co-founded SimpleHomeschool.net in 2010, where she’s served as editor-in-chief for nearly a decade. In addition to Introverted Mom, she’s also the author of Give Your Child the World, Mindset for Moms, and Steady Days.
Her work has been featured by LeVar Burton of Reading Rainbow, the Washington Post, (in)courage, Parents, MOPS International, Ann Voskamp, Today Parenting, Psychology Today, and The Read Aloud Revival with Sarah Mackenzie.
Introverted Mom is available for purchase at:Amazon Barnes & Noble Book Depository ChristianBook Target
Read online “Mom is an introvert. How to find the strength to communicate with a child?”, Dina Adams - LitRes
Hello, beautiful mother in the world!
If you picked up this book, then you want to become better for yourself and for your child.
You are a big guy.
Let me introduce myself first. My name is Dina. And I'm an introvert. I have two wonderful children. They are very active and inquisitive fidgets. They need an eye for an eye.
But I don't have enough strength for them at all. I'm ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I don't want to communicate with them. I just get really tired of them. And, of course, I feel guilty before them.
However, I do not consider myself a useless mother. After all, I love my children and wish them only the best. I think that a tired and irritable mother has a bad effect on them. Therefore, I am constantly working on myself.
And I invite you to join me. I'm sure we can get better together. To do this, you must first know yourself.
Do you consider yourself an introvert who does not like large crowds, and excessive childish sociability drains you? It's not a problem. You don't need to remake yourself. Just learn to accept yourself for who you are.
I'll be happy to help you with this.
That is why I wrote this book.
So let's get started.
Chapter 1. How do I know if I'm really an introvert mom?
Sometimes bright extroverts need a break from excessive communication. This is fine. And it happens that an introvert craves communication. This is also normal.
So, how do you know if you are an introvert or not? Let's find out together.
1.1. What is an introvert?
An introvert is a person immersed in his inner world. It differs in that it is most immersed in its thoughts rather than in communication.
But this does not mean that an introvert does not like communication. This is not true. Just an introvert likes to listen and observe people. But at the same time, whenever possible, he tries to avoid large crowds of people. Especially with strangers.
An introvert opens up to a person whom he completely trusts. If attached to people, then for a long time. He is a good and loyal friend.
An introvert can be dreamy.
Likes to fantasize about the future, about an ideal life, or how he would live if he were an extrovert.
Carefully plans his actions. Spontaneity is not about him. Patient and able to control emotions. Because of what it can sometimes be considered cold and even gloomy.
An introvert is very attentive to his relatives and friends. He almost always has advice for any occasion in life.
He is rather vulnerable. It can hold a grudge for a long time, twist unpleasant memories in your head. However, an introvert is not particularly dependent on the opinions of others. Because he doesn't want to please everyone.
An introvert is a diligent and responsible worker. He knows how to focus, so he achieves his goals.
People may think that an introvert is a quiet, modest and very shy person who is afraid to leave the house. But of course it is not.
Yes, an introvert likes to be alone with himself, with his thoughts. But he also loves to explore the world around him and discover new things.
Perhaps that is why many famous people are introverts.
For example, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Michael Jordan, Steven Spielberg, Keanu Reeves, Lady Gaga, Johnny Depp. All of them are bright representatives of introverts.
1.2. Psychological characteristics of an introverted mother
There are people who are wary of introverted mothers. I would even say suspiciously.
For those around us, we are either gloomy and unsociable, who hold our children in a vice. Or we are just stupidly indifferent, who are too lazy to deal with a child.
I am familiar with such situations. Once, a classmate of my eldest son came to visit us along with his mother. We sat down and chatted. We played with the children in the yard. And Ann (my son's classmate's mom) says, "I thought you didn't like people."
Yes, that's exactly what she said. I was confused. But she laughed it off, saying that I thought all normal people had died out, but it turned out not.
We laughed and are still friends today.
Why this story? I want to say that being an introvert is normal. It's not some kind of psychological disorder. A special way of thinking. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. And you don’t need to force yourself to change yourself towards an extrovert.
Accept yourself as you are. But remember about your psychological characteristics.
First, we are extremely jealous of our personal space. We don't let everyone in there. Therefore, others think that earning the trust of an introvert is a long and thorny path.
That's right. But do not wear a mask of incredulity in everything. You are mom. Your excessive distrust can spoil the child. He is inquisitive, everything is interesting to him, right? So let the child explore the world freely. And all that is required of you is to be there and love him for who he is.
Of course, you can warn. To give advice. But don't set too narrow boundaries. Remember, a child's world is much wider than ours.
It is we who, as adults, limit ourselves to certain limits. But becoming a mother, we get the opportunity to expand our world again.
Secondly, we are vulnerable beings. If we are hurt to the quick, then we will not forgive so easily. And very in vain. After all, without forgiving and releasing our grievances, we accumulate all the negative baggage in ourselves. Perhaps because of this, we seem gloomy and unsociable. Learn to forgive and let go of grudges.
And the last thing I would like to say is that we, as introverts, have a lot of potential. We have hidden leadership qualities. Yes exactly. We can be leaders. And very good ones too. But in order to realize this potential, we need to learn how to contact others and forget the bad.
We have a rich inner world. So why keep it to yourself? After all, we are mothers. And we can share our knowledge with our children. They will only say "thank you". But without imposition. Remember, the child himself has the right to choose how to live.
Just lead by example. Show how you step over yourself, your weaknesses and become better. To do this, it is not necessary to become at the helm of a leadership position. It is enough to become a leader in your life.
things to look out for ❗️☘️ ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)
Contents
- What's the difference between an introvert and an extrovert?
- What happens when introverts become mothers?
- Strengths of introverted mothers
- 1. Ability to radiate calmness
- 2. The ability to “let go” of the child in time
- 3. The ability to listen carefully
- 4. It is rarely boring with you
- What can be difficult for an introverted mother
- 1. Small talk
- 2. A lot of noise and fuss
- 3. Extrovert children
Being an introvert, you can be just as good a mother as an extrovert (and vice versa). Your strengths and weaknesses are just different. No personality trait is "better" than another as such.
However, as a more introverted type, you should be aware that you have different needs and therefore need to use different strategies than those used by extroverts to balance motherhood and self in a healthy way.
See also: “You make yourself an outsider” - why parents should not worry that they are raising an introverted child
Introvert and extrovert: what is the difference?
Extroverts get their energy from interacting with other people. If you spend too much time alone, you will quickly feel drained, irritable, and bored.
Introverts, on the other hand, draw energy from themselves, from their own ideas and thoughts, and therefore, above all, need sufficient rest and solitude to recharge their batteries.
Of course, no one is "only" an introvert or "only" an extrovert. Everyone is somewhere in the middle on the scale. Therefore, it is important that everyone finds an individually suitable dose of external stimulation, on the one hand, and enough opportunities for himself, on the other.
What happens when introverts become mothers?
Like all women, things change for introverts as soon as they (have to) start caring for a child 24 hours a day, with little or no opportunity to spend enough time alone.
However, in this context mothers simply need to be aware of their special needs.
Standard family craziness, extremely tiring for typical introverts.
The usual daily routine with children—noise, clutter, variety of tasks to be done at the same time, children's demands for parental attention and activities—can quickly push an introverted mother to breaking point. It seems to her that she is about to explode, that the cup has overflowed.
As an introverted mother, you should always make sure you have rest periods to compensate. If you find someone to take care of the kids for you, you can make the best use of the "buy" time by being completely alone.
Strengths of introverted mothers
Often such mothers consider themselves bad parents, because they are supposed to enjoy every second with a child, and not look for opportunities to retire.
But introverts have many wonderful qualities that help them raise children. For example:
1. The ability to radiate calm
Being an introverted mother, you have a calming influence on the family. You “automatically” make sure that the children do not get overexcited and take sufficient breaks.
2. The ability to "let go" of the child in time
It is easy for you to accept the fact that each child develops in his own way and at his own pace and needs personal freedom. As a mother, you manage to keep a low profile and allow the children to have their own experience.
3. The ability to listen carefully
As an introvert, it is easy for you to listen. You can fully focus on your child's problems, you are compassionate, you reflect on what is being said, and you are not eager to bring your views to the fore. This will make your child feel valued and accepted.
4. You are rarely bored.
As an introvert, you are never bored.
While young extrovert mothers can quickly feel lonely if they (have to) spend a lot of time alone with their baby, introverts love to be in their own thoughts and can do their own thing well.
What can be difficult for an introverted mother
Having studied their strengths, introverted mothers need to think about their weaknesses in order to put emphasis on them.
1. Small talk
Introverted women do not appreciate superficial exchange of ideas with mothers who are (yet) not very familiar to them: baby groups, pre-school courses, carnival parties, fairs, activities in kindergarten, sports club or school are quite tiring, because as a stimulating factor they negatively affect an introverted woman.
2. A lot of hustle and bustle
Working with several children at the same time - for example, at children's birthday parties, when several kids are visiting or at family gatherings - this is a challenge for an introverted mother, after which she needs a lot of time for herself to recharge your batteries and recover.
3. Extroverted children
When an extroverted child is born to an introverted mother, it is difficult for her to understand and support his strong need for activity and communication with friends.
The important thing here is to find, with tact and sensitivity, a good compromise that both parties can come to terms with. The older and more independent children become, the easier it should be.
Don't expect to easily lead an extroverted life.
It is important for your self-esteem to recognize and accept yourself as an introvert.
If you compare your life with that of more extroverted mothers, you will see that they do more work on weekends, go out more in the evenings, have a larger network of friends, and, in your opinion, simply "do more" than you. It seems that they are trying, and you are not capable of it.
But why should you strive for such a way of life if it does not satisfy you at all?
Extroverts need external stimuli to feel happy, just as you need time alone to feel good too.
