Supporting your girlfriend

15 Tips on How to be a Supportive Boyfriend to Your Girlfriend

© Photo by Victorino Q. Abrugar,

Just as you need your girlfriend’s support in all your endeavors, she also needs the same effort from you.

Support is beyond doubt, an important part of every successful relationship, but how do you make sure that you’re doing it right?

To answer this question, let’s take a look at some tips that will help you become a supportive boyfriend.

1. Be as encouraging as possible.

Always let your girlfriend know that you believe in her especially when she’s starting to doubt herself. Hearing encouraging words like, “I know you can do it!” or “I believe in you!” can really make a difference.

If you see her slowly giving up on something that she has worked so hard for, be there for her, encourage her to hold on and most importantly, let her know that she’s not alone.

2. Show up for her.

Another way to show your genuine support for your girlfriend is by showing up for her especially during the most memorable moments of her life.

If she’s in a cheerleading team, show up and cheer for her, too. If performing in a competition, show up and be her number one fan.  Just be present-  it is all that matters.

3. Be a good listener.

Think about when you’re upset and when you just want to vent off your frustrations. Your girlfriend, just like any human being, wants the same thing. You’re her partner so you need to listen to what she has to say. Just be there in silence and make her feel that she can tell you anything.

4. Offer to help her.

Find out what she needs at the moment and let her know that you’d be happy to help her with anything – really, anything.

Is it that time of the month and she’s craving her favorite snacks? Offer your assistance and grab the best sweets you can find. Be thoughtful and always be on the lookout for things she might need help with.

5. Build her confidence.

Helping her boost her confidence is a way to improve her ability to make good decisions. Encourage her with your words and actions and help her believe, in her heart and mind, that she can do anything she sets her mind to. Be proud of her and don’t be afraid to show it.

6. Compliment her.

Compliments are great confidence boosters. In fact, this supportive gesture can help your girlfriend feel good about herself especially if she’s going through a rough time. However, make sure to only praise her when she truly and genuinely deserves it. Girls don’t really like fake compliments, do they?

7. Team up with her.

Let her know that she doesn’t have to face life alone – because you’re a team, and as partners, you’re stronger and invincible. Be there for her and support her in every adventure you face together.

8. Spend time with her.

Just simply hanging out with your girl is already a way of supporting her: going on date nights, enjoying movie nights at home, or even for something as typical as taking your dog for a walk, together. Remember that it doesn’t have to be a big or a grand date – what matters is you shared and created those memories together.

9. Make her feel safe.

It’s not about being with her 24/7 like a private bodyguard. You don’t have to take a bullet for her. She only needs to feel that her man has her back when it matters the most. She needs to know that it’s okay to feel weak because you can be her strength. She knows that it’s alright to be vulnerable because your love is enough to protect her from any harm that comes her way.

10. Appreciate her.

Appreciate her, even for the simplest gestures. Let her know that you admire and respect everything she does for you and your relationship. Make her feel that she deserves your love and affection. Make her feel happy by just appreciating her existence.

ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Appreciated

11. Be understanding and compassionate.

Part of being a supportive boyfriend involves being understanding of whatever it is that she’s going through. Whenever she does something that you don’t really quite understand, put yourself in her shoes and try to see things from her perspective. Be patient and considerate with her.

12. Be optimistic for her.

There will always be times when she’ll feel pessimistic about the future. Your job is to help her turn those feelings around by remaining optimistic. Smiling more, focusing on the positive side of it all, and disregarding negative thoughts are only some of the many ways that you can do to cheer her up.

ALSO READ: 15 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Smile When She’s Sad

13. Challenge her.

Another way to be a supportive boyfriend is by challenging her to become a better person. If there is something you do not like about her, it’s your role to tell her that but be mindful of becoming too selfish and controlling. Instead, you can inspire her to become a better person in a way that won’t hurt her and how she sees herself. Be a positive and healthy influence.

ALSO READ: 10 Ways to Inspire Your Partner to Change for the Better

14. Give her the opportunity to express her feelings.

Gently ask about what is bothering her and give her the chance to express how she really feels. However, you have to give her time. Some people are not so good with words and sometimes, it takes a tremendous amount of courage for them to show how they feel.

Just respect her silence and comfort her in any way you can. When she’s ready, be there to listen.

15. Show interest in her goals.

Encourage her to chase after her dreams in life by offering to find ways to make her goals attainable. Together, discover the things that you want to achieve, may it be as individuals or as a couple. Accomplish a project together, try out new things and just be free to aspire and be ambitious.

Remember that it’s okay if you want to pursue different things in life. What matters is, you’re there for each other as a refuge and as a source of strength.

The process of supporting your girlfriend in becoming the best version of herself will eventually help your relationship, too. I hope this article helped you understand what it really means to be a supportive boyfriend to your girlfriend. Good luck and stay happy together!

Online courses recommended for you:
  • Relationship Coaching: Transform Problems into Growth & Love:
    Develop true love & greater intimacy & a relationship growth mindset, stop destructive conflicts, find meaning & purpose.
  • Love & Connection: The Science of Successful Relationships:
    This course will show you how to examine the unknown path that you’ll travel with your spouse, and carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.

Books recommended for you

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21 Tips to Maintain a Good Relationship with Your Girlfriend

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Marydel Mitch Flores

Mitch is a writer and photographer. She also does screenwriting for independent film producers and joins various film competitions. Mitch believes that “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

11 Ways To Be More Supportive Of Your Partner, While Still Focusing On Yourself

When you're in a relationship, it's often tempting to focus solely on your partner. You love them and want them to be happy, and that means doing anything you can to be supportive. It's a sweet way to be, for sure. But it often comes at the expense of putting your own needs on the back burner.

This is obviously not ideal, and yet it's totally normal for supportiveness to skew in one person's favor. In fact, it can turn into quite the tricky balancing act. "There will be times when each person needs more, and there will be times when each person gives more," says Nicole Martinez, Psy.D., LCPC, in an email to Bustle. "Or, that should be how it works. When you run into trouble is when the relationship is constantly skewed in one direction. When one partner is always the taker, and not often the giver."

This unbalance can happen for any number of reasons, but the result is almost always the same — one of you will end up feeling ignored, unsupported, and maybe even a little resentful. Does this sound like what's going down in your relationship? Then read on for ways to be supportive of your partner, while also looking out for yourself.

1. Take Stock Of The Fairness

If things have been feeling a tad unbalanced, then pause to evaluate the give and take in your relationship. As Martinez says, "I think that people should be taking a frequent stock of their relationship [to] think about the balance and what they need to be doing to either balance things out, or give their partner the support they might be needing." Noticing when things have become unfair is the best place to start.

2. Don't Stop Being Supportive

If your SO totally sucks at being supportive, you'll likely feel some burning resentment — and maybe even a desire to cut off your loving, giving ways. While this reaction makes total sense, it's still not a good idea to "punish" your partner by withholding your support. What we're going for here is a situation where both of you feel supported, so it won't set much an example if you start acting just as selfish.

3. Ask For What You Need

Martinez told me that many people have a difficult time asking for what they need. And it's so true, isn't it? Even if you are feeling unsupported, it can feel incredibly difficult to speak up and let your SO know. But guess what — that's exactly what you need to do.

4. Realize You Deserve To Look Out For Yourself

Whether your partner is up on their supportive game or not, it's still important to look out for yourself. "Recognizing and attending to your needs is part of self-love and care," said wellness expert Kaylee Rupp on Continue being an awesome partner, while also starting to make your own needs a priority.

5. Start Off Small

In order to look out for yourself, it's not necessary to pretend your partner's needs don't exist. But you do want to slowly start shifting the focus back to yourself. If you don't know how to start, then start small, according to Rupp. Take an hour to yourself after work, sign up for that class you've been eyeing, or spend a weekend away with friends. Your SO will survive without your 24/7 attention, and you'll feel much better for having focused on yourself.

6. Spend Time With Your Friends

Part of being in a balanced relationship is maintaining some semblance of who you were before it all began. One of the best ways to do this is by spending time with friends, sans SO. "The way you interact with your friends when your boyfriend or girlfriend tags along is necessarily different — and less intimate — than when you show up solo," said lifestyle blog editor Sahaj Kohli on Allow yourself that freedom. It's good for ya.

7. Have Separate Hobbies

In the same vein, keep on keepin' on with those solo hobbies. "It’s important to support each other’s interests — even and maybe especially when they aren’t shared," Kohli said. So don't feel guilty for hitting up the gym all by your lonesome, or going for a bike ride by yourself.

8. Keep Your Own Identities

The above two tips are all about keeping your own separate identities, and that's a totally good thing. "The goal in a relationship is to be close and still maintain an identity as a separate person," said Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., on Psychology Today. "When people are in an individuated state, they are happier and more optimistic. They have a stronger sense of themselves so they are capable of more intimacy, love and passion in their relationship."

9. Figure Out Your Own Future

This one may sound pessimistic, but it's actually very healthy to focus on your own future — even if the two of you plan to stay together forever. As Kohli said, "Spend some time charting short-term and long-term goals that have nothing to do with your significant other." This will remind you what's important to your life, career-wise, travel-wise, etc. You can still support your SO's goals, but these will be the things that you need accomplish, no matter what.

10. Be Secretly Supportive

You don't have to go overboard and exhaust yourself in order to be a supportive partner. In fact, a more subtle approach can actually be more beneficial. "According to recent research from Columbia University, 'invisible support' — giving someone a hand behind the scenes so that he doesn't even realize you're assisting him — boosts a person's mood and relaxes him," noted wellness writer Molly Triffin in Cosmopolitan. Pretty cool, right?

11. Don't Obsess Over Your Relationship

Yes, it's wonderful that you have someone you want to love and care for. But do make an effort to have parts of your day where you aren't obsessing over your relationship. This will leave you time to focus on yourself, and leave you feeling more refreshed (and willing) to be supportive when you come moseying on back.

By following these tips, you'll keep that all-important balance in your relationship where both you and your SO feel like your needs are being met. And what could be better than that?

Images: Pexels (12)

How to support a girl | 5 ways and tips from Alexander Galevich

There are situations when not only girls, but also any person needs support. Sometimes stress builds up and a nervous breakdown occurs because of a seemingly small thing. In another case, the girl has a really difficult life situation and it is important to help her correctly. Knowing how to support a girl, you will not worsen your relationship, but once again prove that you are the best man for her, whom she can trust. To better understand female psychology and not get lost in non-standard situations, use my online seduction courses. They will give you a good knowledge base that will help you conquer any girl and build relationships in which you will be the leader. In the meantime, find out how to properly support a girl: general rules, as well as action algorithms depending on the situation.

Content of the article: "How to support a girl"

  • 5 ways to support a girl
  • How to support a girl depending on the situation
  • 5 tips on how to support a girl from a distance
  • What not to do when supporting a girl so as not to spoil the relationship

5 ways to support a girl

If she had a hard day, don't rush to create more problems for her. Postpone the showdown, the struggle for leadership and temper your attacks of jealousy. Now it's not about you, but about her. If you really want to help her, then use these simple and proven methods:

  1. Hug her: it will help if her world is falling apart and in cases where the problem is trifling. Hugging reduces stress levels and allows the production of hormones that will help you not sink into depression.
  2. Financial assistance. Often guys think that a girl will be humiliated if he offers her money, but a lot depends on the situation. If you are not very close, you can offer to borrow money for her indefinitely, you can use the wording “saved for a wedding” / “travel with her”, so that she understands that you were going to spend these funds on her anyway. Such assistance is relevant if the girl does not have enough funds to treat her grandmother, her beloved dog, or another situation where just words of support will not help.
  3. Support with words. Fill in the gaps in your conversation with compliments on her stamina, her ability to control herself. Talk more often about how important she is to you and that you love her. Try to suggest solutions to the problem. Show that she can count on you.
  4. Listen to her. If you are far away or for other reasons cannot help, then at least let me speak out. It is important for girls to share their problems: this is how they quickly let go of the situation.
  5. Come to her if you are not around. She will appreciate your efforts to help and share her difficulties with her. Do this even if you can only be together for a few hours: every minute together will strengthen the relationship.

No need to try to be original and come up with something unreal: she is emotionally exhausted, she needs strength and time to solve problems, so it is better to postpone your balloon flight or romantic trip. Even if you planned to make an offer the day before, it’s worth replaying everything so that her “no” does not come as a surprise. Much depends on the nature of your relationship and the situation itself when a girl needs support.

How to support a girl depending on the situation

It is important to know how to support a girl when she is tired and how when she is having difficulties. A lot depends on the type of relationship you have. Use these recommendations so as not to turn your support into overprotectiveness, but to behave correctly depending on the situation:

  1. If a girl is scandalous in order to manipulate or get your attention, then you should not rush to conclusions. Look at the circumstances: maybe you really let go of the situation, and the relationship is not developing, or the girl is frankly insolent: then it’s better to leave her alone with her thoughts for a while and don’t succumb to provocations.
  2. If the girl is your friend. Do not rush to donate savings to solve her problems: she can just use you. It is better to make it a rule not to give more than it is not a pity to lose. Psychological and physical help will be more valuable: with repairs, advice, a ride to the right place if it is late. Again, this should not be a one-sided game, she should also try to support you. Any crisis in your life will quickly show "who is friend and who is not." You should not calm your girlfriend with sex: this can lead to the end of your friendship.
  3. If a girl is so upset that she is crying or having a nervous breakdown, just hug her. Do not try to sort things out, reasons: talk when she calms down.
  4. Don't know how to support a girl when she is sick? Try to imagine what you would like. At a minimum: affectionate words, care and attention. Ask what fruits she likes, if you need to buy some medicine. Being sick is not fun, and it can happen to you too: how you behave, you should expect such an attitude from a girl.
  5. If she looks tired and has no strength, then you can help too. Start small: if you live together, help with household chores; if she is exhausted by public transport and you have a car, give her a ride and pick her up from work. Massage and even a simple dream in your arms will also help to relax.
  6. You are far apart. This should not prevent you from reassuring and supporting the girl: call, write more often, use video communication to support.

There are other ways to show your attitude towards a girl and support her in a difficult situation if you are not around right now.

5 tips on how to support a girl from a distance

If you can't come, there are still options on how to support a girl when she is feeling bad. In addition to standard conversations, tips, you can use these creative ways to cheer up and remind her that she is loved:

  1. Order her homemade treats: pizza, sushi, ice cream - anything she likes.
  2. Write "I love you" on the sheet and take a photo in a place you like. You can just build funny faces so that she definitely smiles.
  3. Print her photo, put it in a frame and take a series of pictures from the category "We are always together." How do you sleep with a photo, brush your teeth, eat.
  4. Make a collage about how you are waiting for her or going to her.
  5. Order flowers, a souvenir that will improve your mood. You will need to make sure that she is at home when the courier arrives.

When trying to console a girl, don't overdo it. A careless word can lead to a quarrel and even parting. She is already negative, so it is important not to provoke rash steps on her part. There are things that are better not to do so as not to further worsen her condition and your relationship. In trying to support a girl, it is very important not to make masculine mistakes.

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What not to do when supporting a girl so as not to spoil the relationship

It is important to know how to support a girl in difficult times with words and deeds. Sometimes guys are not ready for female tears or violent manifestations of emotions. A woman considers a man weak, insensitive, and all because he makes these mistakes:

  1. Do not ignore her problems. No "call back later", "we'll talk later" and "I'm busy." If you leave her at a difficult moment and refuse to support, then you should not expect favors and a good attitude towards yourself later.
  2. Don't try to calm her down with just emoticons and sad pictures. Without words, it will not be clear: you are laughing at her, ironic, or you just don’t care, so you don’t want to understand the problem and conduct a dialogue.
  3. Do not overdo it with advice, trying to support. Do not offer ready-made solutions: help her see the situation and figure out the problem herself. If she follows your words, and they will lead to even more problems, then you will remain guilty.
  4. You should not advise to talk with friends about a topic that concerns her or consult a psychologist. If she wanted this, she has already done it, and so she expects support from you, even if you do not understand the topic at all.
  5. Be careful with humor. A joke can help a girl distract from her problems, or it can make them worse. Cynicism and sarcasm are definitely better to save for another occasion, and not for situations when you decide to support.

Timely and correct support will strengthen your relationship. She will be grateful for your understanding and help. It is important to distinguish far-fetched problems from serious ones, but at the same time to understand that nothing happens for nothing. If a girl inflates an elephant out of a fly, then something is wrong. Understanding female psychology is not so easy. I haven't always been an expert either. It takes practice, knowledge of psychology and a desire to develop. With the first and second I will help you, but the third depends only on you. My name is Alexander Galevich. Since 2006, I have conducted over 2,000 trainings and helped over 41,000 students. Their gratitude and strong happy relationship is one of my most important rewards. Knowing women, you will be able to manage not only them, but also your life, career and reach new heights faster.

examples when communicating live and by correspondence

The girl's mood is as changeable as the wind. Sometimes she herself does not know why she suddenly became sad. But it's also easy to get her smile back. These methods will surely help.

Live Chat Examples

If you're with a girl who's in a bad mood, try one of these tactics.

Help to speak out

Don't give unsolicited advice, but show empathy. Help the girl speak out, and she will feel better. Important: if you immediately ask how things are, or what happened, this may be perceived as a duty phrase. Surely, you will hear in response "everything is fine." Show that you noticed the condition of the girl.


- You are sad today.

— There is such a thing.

— Something very unpleasant happened that spoiled your mood.

- I had a fight with my sister.

— I understand. I also always feel terrible because of conflicts in the family. You are mad at her.

— And for yourself. Both are to blame. They quarreled over nonsense.

— Do you think we should make peace soon?

— Yes, but I'm still pissed and I might say bad things to her again.

- I think she feels the same way. But you love each other.

— I'll call her in the evening.

- Great idea.

Psychologist's comment:

Indeed, pronunciation is effective, and is one of the many methods of psychotherapy. Sometimes a person becomes much easier just because someone listened to him. The internal tension is removed. And when a person relaxes, he often makes the right decisions. Even the famous American psychotherapist Milton Erickson said: a person himself knows the solution to his problem, even if he does not know about it.

“Give me a man”

Show the girl that she is not alone, that you are ready to solve her problem. In most cases, this is nonsense (according to men) like a broken nail or a broken-up beloved star couple, and rather psychological help is required.

Phrases to help you:

"You have me, and now we'll figure out what to do with it."

"I will help you, no matter what happens"

Psychologist's comment:

There are male and female types of response to a difficult situation. As a rule, if a man has a problem, it is better not to touch him. He prefers to think and make decisions alone. Another thing is a woman. In a difficult situation, she needs a man's shoulder, or even a "vest" to cry.

Distract with a funny story

There are many ways to distract from the problem. For example, tell a funny or motivating story.


“Here you are, you say, you are afraid to speak tomorrow. Do you remember how I was speechless at the state? I really stood in front of the commission for about five minutes like an idol and could not say a word. And Semenova is still like this: “Young man, you probably had such a delicious breakfast that you ate it with your tongue.” Do you know what I did? He imagined that she was dancing lambada with the dean. Barely held back a laugh. And the situation seemed to me not so terrible. Performed normally. They also advise presenting the audience naked. But I'm afraid I would have laughed then."

If a girl is worried about a bad haircut, remember a funny incident about a hairdresser's from your life. In general, you get the point. If you don't have stories on a "given" topic, any hilarious one that the girl hasn't heard yet will do.

Psychologist's comment:

Switching attention is an effective way to distract from the problem. But it is very difficult for a person to switch, because he is fixated on his experience. The person next to you can help.

Give a sincere compliment

There is another effective way to cheer up a girl live. Give a sincere compliment while making eye contact. But the on-duty “you are beautiful” is too simple. Compliments must be personal. Examples:

“You have an amazing sense of style. I'm surprised every time how cool you look. Have you considered becoming a stylist?

You have very beautiful eyes. Such a rare blue color, with long eyelashes. When we first met, I didn’t even notice what you were wearing, what hairstyle you had. I couldn't take my eyes off yours.

I recently remembered how you got a kitten out of a tree. Do you remember? He was so small, defenseless, afraid. I know few people as kind and brave as you.

Psychologist's comment:

Many are aware of the famous phrase that a woman loves with her ears. Of course, a compliment should not sound on duty and insincere. It is important to really admire a woman, and then the right words will come to mind. Compliments about appearance are perceived positively, although they can lead to some embarrassment. But it's not scary. Almost every woman has dissatisfaction with some part of her body that she wants to change at all costs. Now the nose is long, then the wrinkle interferes. For a man, it doesn't matter. The beauty and attractiveness of a woman is perceived by him as a whole, without going into details.

Praise for good human qualities is always perceived positively. Everyone has enough complexes. You can tell yourself “I’m smart” as much as you like, but when you hear it from someone else, the effect is completely different!

There are many ways to distract from the problem. For example, tell a funny or motivating story. Photo:

Ready-made examples for pen-pal communication

You can cheer up, even if you are not nearby. Girls love to chat. It's romantic. Some even fall in love without ever seeing a person. We tell you some simple simple ways how to cheer up a pen girlfriend.

Overwhelm with nice messages

You can send nice messages to the girl all day long, starting with “Good morning, most beautiful!” It's even better if you ask your friends to connect to it. Let everyone send her a couple of nice lines. Examples:

"The sun is shining today just to make you smile."

"You are one of the smartest girls I know."

“Knowing you, I have no doubt: you can do everything!”

"I saw a beautiful picture and remembered you."

Psychologist's comment:

Kind messages in instant messengers can charge a girl with mood for the whole day. She feels that she is remembered and mentally supported. It is clear that correspondence will never replace live communication, and for closer relationships or discussion of serious things, conversations are needed at least by phone or video. But short positive messages are definitely useful.

Write a poem or a song

Any girl will be pleased with poems dedicated specifically to her. It's great if you have a talent for writing and can rhyme a few lines yourself. However, it is worth a try, even if you think that it will turn out clumsily.

Psychologist's comment:

This is generally a chic method and it works excellently. I personally witnessed this more than once. A verse dedicated to a woman increases her self-esteem and sets her in a romantic mood. After all, poetry to the ladies of the heart was traditionally written by true gentlemen. And even if there is no talent to rhyme, you can write in blank verse. The main thing is a sign of attention!

Send a funny picture

Agree: it's very easy. And at the same time it works. Ideal if you are not a wordsmith. Without further ado, send a girl a funny picture. If you get a smiley face in response, you win! Aerobatics - to make a funny collage or a sticker for a messenger from a photo of a girl.

Psychologist's comment:

The picture is perceived positively if it is not hackneyed, funny and understandable to the addressee. Now there are many online photo editors where a photo of a girl can be placed on the cover of a glossy magazine or in some kind of solemn setting like a royal ball, a luxury yacht. It would seem a trifle and fiction, but the subconscious mind reacts sensitively to such pictures, and the positive is received.


Sometimes a problem arises: how to cheer up a girl if right now there is absolutely no time? The fastest and easiest way is to like her photos on social networks. Check out recent photos. Scroll down the feed and like some old pictures. A few good emoticons and a comment in the style of "The sea suits you", "Beauty!" - It is done.

Psychologist's comment:

Likes play a big role in the life of modern people. Sometimes they even lead to serious scandals if a loved one likes someone wrong. A dislike or a negative comment can spoil the mood for a long time and even develop a complex. A positive like and comment-compliment will cheer you up.

Learn more