Self worth examples

The 10 Thought Habits of People with High Self-Worth

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Self-worth is self-love. It means being on your own team. It means giving yourself the same respect, dignity, and understanding you want for your loved ones.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

The consequences of low self-worth can be huge. Depression, risky behaviors, the willingness to tolerate abusive treatment, and a nagging sense of failure to reach your own potential are all signs of it.

Indeed, low self-worth is often the cause — not the effect — of hardships in your life, whether they are financial, relational, physical, and so on.

So, how do we improve it? It starts by changing how we think. In this article, you’re going to learn about ten different thought habits and beliefs that people with a high sense of self-worth consistently demonstrate.

These are simple concepts yet may seem strange, especially if you’ve spent a lifetime struggling with confidence or self-esteem. But consistently working to adopt these beliefs about yourself can pay off big time in virtually all areas of your life. So take a few minutes to read through these ten beliefs and then pick a couple to try on for yourself and see what happens.

10 Thoughts and Beliefs of People with High Self-Worth

1. No matter what I’ve done or haven’t done, I’m worthy of love.

A person with a high sense of self-worth takes responsibility for their mistakes, but does not degrade themselves for making them. If they goof, they say, “I did a bad thing” instead of “I am bad.” They say sorry when they needs to, and do what they can to make things right.

They do not grieve alone, but lean on their loved ones for support. They know that they’re not the only person who’s experienced this, and that by sharing their story with people who have earned the right to hear it, they are taking good care of themselves.

On the other side of things, the self-worthy person does not become overly dependent on success, flattery, or adoration. This person is confident and takes pride in their achievements, but shows grace and humility, too. They don’t do things to get love; they do things for the love of them.

This person welcomes both success and failure — both of which are useful, largely subjective, and never a barometer of a person’s worthiness.

2. My “things” do not define me.

You are not the clothes you wear, the car you drive, or the relationship you do or don’t have.

Yes, it is healthy and even fun to enjoy the finer things in life, and a person with solid self-worth is able to do so joyously. But this same person also recognizes the impermanence of everything. Money comes and goes. Relationships end. Accidents happen. Things lose value, break down, get lost, get old, and die.

The person who honors their worthiness knows that they can enjoy external things without attaching their identity to them. They appreciate what they have while they have it, and wholeheartedly strives to get what they truly want. But they also know that even without these “things,” they can still look in the mirror and say, “You are enough.”

3. I am allowed to feel whatever I’m feeling.

People with self-worthiness are not “always happy.” They feel all the same feelings that anyone else feels.

The difference is that a person with a solid sense of self-worth creates space for their emotions without feeling guilty about them. They understand that their emotions are just tools that are helping them pay attention. They notice their emotions, and allow them to be as they are. Then, when this person no longer needs those emotions, they simply let them go.

4. I delight in the joy of missing out.

A self-worthy person is not afraid to be alone. They love hanging out with their closest friends and family, but also cherish solo time.

This person doesn’t go to parties and events simply because they are afraid to be left out. They believe the people who really matter will always welcome them, and even if they don’t, they will still be okay on their own.

This person knows that what other people think about them is none of their business.

They create time and space for themselves, and honor that by setting firm boundaries. They do not allow people to encroach on their privacy. They invite people into their life who have earned the right to be there — and recognize that other people have the right to invite them in (or not), as well.

5. It’s not about what happens; it’s about how I respond to what happens.

People who have a high sense of self-worth haven’t had easier lives than people who don’t. They simply remember that only they are responsible for their feelings, thoughts, and actions. They do not stay stuck in victim-hood, and they don’t spend too much time feeling sorry for themselves when things hit the fan.

But it’s not that people with self-worth never feel bad or get down on themselves. They do — we all do. The difference comes in how these feelings are handled.

Rather than getting stuck in what’s “wrong” right now, there is a more powerful way to approach obstacles and the resulting negative feelings. We can choose to acknowledge these feelings, forgive ourselves for whatever we labeled as “wrong,” and move forward with the new information we have gathered because of these experiences.

6. I do what I love, and I love what I do.

What do you value most in life? What do you look forward to doing? What would you do if knew you couldn’t fail—or what would you still do even if you knew you could fail?

A self-worthy person puts their needs first. This doesn’t mean they are selfish — it simply means that they know it is each person’s responsibility to put their own needs first. They inherently know that they can only love and help others to the extent that they love and help themselves, so they make time and set aside energy to invest in the life they want.

The self-worthy person looks for the “win-win” situations. They are able to help others by helping themselves. They believe in fair trade and equal exchange. They find joy in doing what they love, and they honor other people’s right to do what they love, too.

7. I see myself in others.

Self-worth requires the belief that the world is a like a mirror. If people are judging you, it’s because you are reflecting a part of them that they have yet to accept. Sure, their judgment may hurt — but ultimately, it’s about them. It doesn’t have to become your truth. And their judgment can only hurt you to the extent that you hold that judgment against yourself, as well.

The same is true for when you judge others. Whatever you see in someone else is something you have in you. To this end, self-worthy people are thankful for the challenging people in their lives because they see them as opportunities to learn more about themselves. And these people take heart in seeing the positive in others, because that means they can see those things in themselves as well.

8. I believe in something greater than myself.

You don’t have to believe in God or subscribe to an organized religion to have self-worth. But having the belief in some “higher power,” some unifying connection between everyone and everything, can be enough to help you keep things in perspective — even that part of humanity that existed before you were born and that you will contribute to and leave behind when you’re gone.

A person with a high sense of self-worth is neither full of themselves, nor thinks that the world revolves around them. Instead, this person remembers and is humbled by their small but important role in the grand scheme of things. Like a singular wave in a great big ocean, they know they are part of something greater, and as such are never truly “alone.”

9. Every day, I find things to be grateful for.

Gratitude is a daily practice for people with high self-worth. These people appreciate the small and big gifts of life, and expresses appreciation whenever and however they can.

It’s pretty easy to feel grateful when things seem to be going well. A true challenge is to find things you can say “thank you” for even when you are dealing with one of the greatest challenges of your life. You can only do this if you are willing to detach your sense of worthiness from your achievements and your external circumstances.

10. The story I tell about my life means everything.

The way you think influences the way you live.

If you can believe this statement, and start changing your thoughts based on your belief, expect to experience some serious self-growth, new opportunities, and a deepening and hugely empowering sense of self-love.

So, ask yourself: What kind of life story are you telling yourself? What do you say you “always,” “never,” “should,” or “ought to” do? Are these expectations actually true? Where do they come from?

A person with high self-worth asks these questions. They may write them down in a journal or discuss them with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. They enjoy the process of learning, and at any moment realize that they have the power to change their own story.

Think Worthy Thoughts, Take Worthy Action: The Self-Worth Checklist

For every empowering and self-loving thought you have, there should also be a complementary action to support it. Run through this Self-Worth Checklist and make a goal to start implementing at least one of these nurturing action steps every week, if not every day:

Eat healthy food.
Exercise.
Politely decline invitations to events that you have no interest in attending.
Minimize your alcohol intake.
Get a massage.
Write in a journal.
State affirmations to yourself in the mirror.
Be aware (and cut back on) how many times you say the words, “I’m sorry.”
Ask for help.
Meditate.
Listen to your favorite music.
Treat yourself to something you love to do.
Learn something new.
Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone.
Be confident in your own thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
Practice the fine art of letting go.

Got a friend? Share this list with him or her. Utilize the power in numbers and make your journey of self-worth a collaborative one with the people closest to you. The world needs more people operating closer to their fullest potential, and your commitment to improving your self-worth will certainly help with that.

References:

1. Brown, Brené. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.
2. “Self Esteem,” Psychology Today.
3. Ferriss, Tim. (2016). Tools of Titans.
4. Demartini, John. Breakthrough Experience: A Revolutionary New Approach to Personal Transformation.

New York: Hay House, 2002.

Michael Stanwyck

Michael Stanwyck is the co-founder of The Whole Life Challenge, an idea that developed during his seven years as a coach and gym manager at CrossFit Los Angeles.

He graduated from UCLA with a BA in philosophy as well as a degree from the Southern California School of Culinary Arts, and feels food is one of the most important parts of a life - it can nourish, heal, and bring people together.

Michael believes health and well-being are as much a state of mind as they are a state of the body, and when it comes to fitness, food, and life in general, he thinks slow is much better than fast (most of the time). Stopping regularly to examine things is the surest way to put down roots and grow.

He knows he will never be done with his own work, and believes the best thing you can do for your well-being starts with loving and working from what you’ve got right now.

Self-Worth: 20 Ideas to Build Self-Esteem

Do you know how to build self-worth? First things first—you are AMAZING, so you have every reason to be confident in who you are.

If you have high self-worth, you feel confident and know you are a good person who deserves good things. That’s why investing in your self-worth is one of the best, most productive ways to spend your time today… and I am honored to help.

My name is Vanessa and I am a recovering awkward person. I have struggled a lot with my own self-worth:

I felt I was unworthy of true friends and had a lot of fake friends in my life.
I used to feel I was unworthy of being paid my worth and had a heck of a time negotiating for myself.
I felt unworthy of love and struggled to find secure attachments to good people.

My goal is to build your self-esteem and confidence with 20 self-worth boosters so you can feel as incredible as you actually are.

What is Self-Worth? (

Definition)

Self-worth is the deep, unshakeable belief someone has that they are loved and worthy to be loved. People with high self-worth tend to have higher respect, confidence, and values. People with low self-worth might suffer from low confidence and feel bad about themselves.

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Self-Worth versus Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is often used interchangeably with self-worth; however, self-esteem can be defined as “feeling” good and confident about oneself.

The big difference here is that self-esteem is often a fleeting feeling—it can be raised through external factors like receiving nice compliments or buying a new pair of shoes.

But self-esteem doesn’t last.

Think of it like this: self-esteem is like a floating cloud in the sky. It can come and go—and it most certainly will—and people with high self-esteem might need constant mood boosters to “feel” good about themselves.

But true self-worth is more than that. It’s the permanent, grounded “knowing” that you have worth. And unlike a cloud, self-worth is more like the earth. It’s an unmovable, grounded belief that is “rooted” in confidence—and a snide remark or unfortunate circumstance won’t completely destroy your self-worth.

Can you have self-esteem without self-worth? Absolutely. Narcissists are folks who have high self-esteem and put on an air of confidence and self-assuredness. However, they often LACK self-worth because they are compensating for deeper problems within… like a lack of fundamental love for themselves.

Now here’s the key about self-worth…

Not everyone will know your true self-worth.

It’s up to you to increase your own self-worth and it all starts with building those self-worth synapses in your brain.

Remember… when you feel “good” about yourself over a long period of time, the higher your “baseline” of self-worth will be!

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Think you have low self-worth? Here are some of the symptoms you should look out for. Check off the ones that feel truthful to you:

You tend to avoid eye contact when passing strangers on the street.
You often feel taken advantage of in toxic friendships.
You don’t feel loved or accepted by others.
You don’t like to speak in public and think what you say has less importance than others.
You don’t know what your true values are.
You constantly doubt yourself and have impostor syndrome.
You often compare yourself to friends or even random strangers.
You often push people away in fear of them finding out your “true” self.
You have slouched shoulders or take up less space in social situations.
You fall into the same bad relationships over and over again.
You accept a lower salary or are afraid to ask for that raise you deserve.
You have a hard time getting a good night’s sleep.
You don’t know how to stand up for yourself during social situations.
You can’t sit still and alone for 10 minutes without feeling anxious or sad.
You often browse social media and wonder why your friends’ lives are more exciting / more important / more social than yours.
You feel inferior when being around more beautiful / smarter / competent people.

Does any of that sound like you? If so, we need to crank your self-worth. But first, we have to understand…

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What Determines Self-Worth?

There are 2 reasons why people have low self-worth.

Genetics

Most people may not know it, but here’s the bad news: self-worth can be inherited.

It’s been long-known that our genetic makeup affects certain chemicals in our brain, like the amount of serotonin (the happiness molecule) or oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) released.

Studies even show that certain genes are linked to optimism and self-esteem. Certain genes can even increase feelings of depression, anxiety, and other negative feelings… all leading to low self-worth.

But if it’s not genetics, there’s also another reason why you may experience low self-worth or self-esteem…

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Trauma

Low self-worth from a traumatic experience is caused when you mix two ingredients:

The event: a traumatic experience or situation that causes you to feel bad, and
The response: a fear response following that event.

Low self-esteem can happen from being exposed to consecutive, fearful events that span across weeks, months, or even years.

But does that mean we are doomed forever then? Should we call it quits and resign to a mediocre life of low self-worth? Absolutely not.

Here’s the good news: you can fix low self-worth.

And the more you reinforce good, optimistic things in your life, the higher your self-worth will be. Now, I’ll show you exactly how to raise your self-worth.

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20 Ways to Build Your Self-Worth

The first step to building your self-worth is finding things to build your self-esteem and confidence. Luckily, I have sooo many ideas for you.

Your self-worth challenge: Below is a list of 20 ideas. Try to take on as many as you can. Hopefully at least one of them intrigues you, gets you excited, or gets your heart pumping.

Are you ready to take the challenge?

But wait! There is a catch…

You have to do at least 1 of these confidence boosting ideas TODAY.

Yes, today! If you’re not willing to take action, this article is not for you. This article is for the action-takers, the doers, and the people who want to become the best versions of themselves.

Okay, are you ready? You got this!

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#1: Find your anthem

Go through the music charts and pick a song that makes you feel alive or that makes you feel like the best version of yourself. The best confidence songs make you feel like dancing.

And here’s some interesting science: did you know that we tend to like certain songs from our youth?

A data analyst compiled musical data from Spotify and found that users love to listen to songs that were popular when they were teens.

Why is this? We tend to associate music in our brains to certain special events or new experiences. And it just happens to be that we experience a lot of new things when we are teenagers.

So if you’re having trouble finding a perfect song for you, try reminiscing about your past—you’re bound to find a song that makes you feel confident.

Need some inspiration? I got you!

Here are a few songs for the ‘90s kids:

Oasis – Wonderwall
Michael Jackson – Black Or White
Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit

And for the millennials:

Bruno Mars – Just The Way You Are
Shakira – Hips Don’t Lie
OutKast – Hey Ya!

And here’s a great list of confidence anthems from Billboard.

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#2: Get up and dance

Did you just pick your anthem? Great, take a dance break! Not only does dancing increase your levels of energy, but it also has been proven to decrease levels of tension in your body!

Double whammy.

And don’t worry about being weird—no one can see you. Here’s an awkward picture of me dancing to make you feel better.

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#3: Text 3 Awesome People

Text 3 people and tell them they are awesome. Do it RIGHT NOW! Sometimes the best way to feel confident is to help others feel confident.

A 2012 study conducted by psychologists at the University of California at Berkeley found that lonely or sad people felt much happier when they sent and received text messages.

There’s no surprise that the team here at Science of People has always believed that personal relationships are one of life’s greatest treasures.

So look at your most recent texts or scroll back to texts from one month ago. Ask yourself: who needs to be checked in with? Tell someone you miss them!

Bonus: If you’re having trouble finding the right first words, try reading our 57 killer conversation starters article. You’re bound to find the perfect message to send!

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#4: Do the Smile-Nod

Do you know the smile-nod?

It’s that nice nonverbal facial expression we do when we want to acknowledge someone. Little do people know, adding that little extra nod takes up so little energy… but it means a whole lot more to the person you’re giving it to.

Why is it important? Psychologist Todd Kashdan conducted a fascinating experiment where he walked down the street and interacted with strangers by doing 1 of 3 things:

quickly glancing in their direction
nodding and smiling at them
avoiding all eye contact and pretending they did not exist

The result is astonishing.

When the researcher ignored strangers, not only did they feel disconnected from him, but they also reported feeling a “lower sense of connection to other people.”

Think about it: When strangers ignore us, we feel more negative and isolated from everyone! And the reason is simple: we ALL love to be acknowledged. Being acknowledged makes us feel that human connection we all need.

So when you are walking down the hallway today at work or see a stranger walking down the street, give them a smile and a nod. It says “I see you, and I’m happy about it.”

It is a surprisingly likable body language cue.

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#5: Favorite Photos

Think of your favorite photos in your phone or storage. It’s likely they bring back feelings of happiness, novelty, or closeness to others.

Now it’s not an “unusual” feeling, since these old photos are more than just taking up precious gigabytes.

In 2013, a study was conducted by the University of Portsmouth—people who looked back at their old Facebook photos felt an increase in their overall happiness and well-being.

So we know that positive reminiscing works. It helps you connect with long-lost experiences and friends. It gives you a sense of accomplishment. And most importantly, it reminds you of some of the happier moments in your life.

Now go through your phone and pick 5 of your favorite photos that make you happy. Share them, set a new screen saver, put them as your phone homescreen, or better yet, print them and tape them to your bathroom mirror so you can see them every morning.

Wish you had more pictures with people you love? Check out my tutorial on How to Make Friends as an Adult (non-awkwardly).

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#6: Make a Learning “Bucket List”

Make a learning bucket list! I believe everyone should have a list of all the things they want to learn and try in their lifetime. Every time you learn something, you feel more confident. Here are some ideas:

Start a tea or herb garden.
Learn how to make homemade pasta.
Study the basics of a new language.
Learn the trapeze.
Teach yourself how to make electronic music.
Learn the art and finesse of making sushi (yum!).
Learn how to write a book.
Learn self-defense.
Learn how to be a master conversationalist.

Check out more in our full learning bucket list tutorial:

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#7: Refresh Your Instagram

Do you like the people you follow?

Chances are, if you’re like me, you need to spring clean some of those old accounts… and get some people who actually make you feel good!

Here’s how:

Follow people who you think have great self-worth and confidence. It is contagious!
Get rid of the “Negative Nancys” on your Instagram—negativity is also contagious!
Follow your favorite comedians on Instagram or Twitter. Laughter is one of the fastest ways to feel amazing!

I love @Amyschumer, who always makes me laugh.

View this post on Instagram

@paulmobleystudio took this if me like 7 years ago but it’s how I feel.
A post shared by @ amyschumer on Jun 12, 2019 at 12:58pm PDT

If you need some Instagram-spiration, Mashable has a great article on the 34 best Instagram accounts. Among the ones that stand out are:

@thedogist, who takes adorable dog pictures
@meme_appetit, for food and meme-lovers
@natgeo, for inspiring nature pics
@pnwcabinland, for pictures of amazing cabins built in forests

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#8: Stand with Confidence

Did you know you can stand like a winner?

There are all kinds of science-based ways to improve your confidence.

Amy Cuddy’s research on 55 studies shows out that power poses affect your emotions, attitudes, and feelings about the self.

In other words, standing like a winner makes you feel like a winner. So it’s no wonder that winners around the world, no matter their gender or race, typically take up as much space as possible when they win a race.

The best way to make a winning pose? It’s simple: channel your inner kiddo and pretend you just won the ultimate game of tag!

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#9: Find Joy

Sometimes we forget that even the smallest things can bring you joy.

A study conducted by DoubleTree by Hilton surveyed 2,000 adults and revealed the ultimate “mood boosters.” Can you guess which led to the most happiness?

Finding money you didn’t know you had
Sunshine
Getting something for free
Getting into bed with fresh sheets

The answer? A.

It turns out, finding that surprise money makes people the MOST happy! However, the other answers also rank high on the list.

What’s your little source of joy? For me, my young daughter, Sienna, always reminds me to embrace wonder.

Think of one small thing that brings you joy. Don’t let it come to you; make it happen.

Go spend time with your kids.
Try stargazing.
Ask a deep question to your partner.
Go spend time with your funniest friend.
Cherish every bite at your next meal.
Spend time doing arts and crafts.
Go for a walk—or walk your dog.
Go see a movie.
Read about someone else’s joy.
Build an amazing playlist.

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#10: Breathe & Meditate

Take 10 deep breaths. Sometimes the best way to snap out of a funk and boost your confidence is to slow down and breathe deeply.

The effects of deep breathing have been known for years now—when you pay attention to your breath, stress and negative feelings just evaporate.

We have greater control. We supply our bodies with more oxygen. Our lives move slower.

Do 10 right now. If you really want to level up your self-worth, you should try turning inward. I especially like taking deep breaths before my next important video call.

We even have a completely free, science-based article on how to meditate. Check it out below to unlock your inner potential:

How to Meditate: a Free Science-Based Guide

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#11: Pump Up

Create a pump up routine.

Athletes do warm-ups.
Musicians practice before hitting the stage.
Actors put in their ear buds to get in the zone for their next scene.

And you? You should have your own Rocky routine. We even have an article on how priming can affect your behavior.

Here are some ideas to create an amazing pump up routine to increase your self-worth:

Make a playlist for each of your different work tasks. Your workouts? Your moods? We have some great ideas in our music and productivity guide.
Have a favorite inspiring / funny / beautiful video you like to watch before a big event? We have our own favorite videos to bring us nonstop laughter every time we watch them!
Try associating smell with a certain state of mind. In Jordan Belfort’s book, The Wolf of Wall Street, a unique smell (such as a blend of herbs, a certain cologne, or a specific food) is used to prime Jordan before making a big sales pitch.

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#12: Clean Up and Clean Out

It’s time to clean out your closet. Do you have something you wear that makes you feel frumpy? Lazy? Fat? Get rid of it!

In a 2012 paper by Hajo Adam and Adam Galinsky, the idea of “enclothed cognition,” ie, whether our clothes affect our thoughts, was studied. In one experiment, participants wore either a doctor’s coat or a painter’s coat.

Can you guess which group performed better at tasks? If you thought it was the group with the doctor’s coat, you’re right!

But, why?

The research behind enclothed cognition suggests that it’s not so much about what we wear, but what we think about what we wear.

The participants who wore doctor’s coats felt more competent wearing them, so they performed better at tasks.

Wearing your confident clothes is also a great way to sound more confident!

Bottom line: if it doesn’t fit or makes you feel dumpy, it isn’t worth wearing. Don’t let your clothes wear you.

I also have some other fun clothing hacks to feel great about yourself.

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#13: Just Say No

Here’s one of the most powerful words on the planet: no.

You’ve got FULL permission to say no. The absolute worst thing to be is a “yes man / woman.”

And if you’re having a hard time saying no, try saying “I don’t” instead. A study in the Journal of Consumer Research found that saying “I don ‘t” worked much better in turning down offers instead of “I can’t.”

Why? Because when you say, “I can’t go to the party / buy the subscription / lend you money / _____” it sounds like an excuse.

But when you say “I don’t want to _____,” you’ve got two things: conviction and stability.

Say no or “I don’t” to one thing you are dreading.

There is nothing worse than going to an awkward social event or spending time with difficult people you don’t like.

Life is just. Too. Short!

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How to Deal with Difficult People at Work

Do you have a difficult boss? Colleague? Client? Learn how to transform your difficult relationship.

I’ll show you my science-based approach to building a strong, productive relationship with even the most difficult people.

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#14: Be Kind

Kindness is a funny thing. It not only makes other people feel better. It also makes YOU feel better.

That’s why kindness is one of the most important tips in this article.

Helping others is one of the fastest ways to build your self-worth. There are even studies that show that helping people—like volunteering—minimizes stress and improves depression.

Think of it like this: When you help improve the self-worth of others… you also improve your own. See the pattern? That’s why I am writing this article for you!

Do one nice thing for someone in your life. Order your best friend a bouquet of flowers. Do the dishes for your partner.

And you don’t even have to be kind to someone close to you. Kindness to anyone spurs self-esteem and self-worth.

Here are some ideas:

Write someone a thank you card for a time when they were kind to you.
Call your mom and tell her you love her.
Buy someone a coffee.
Make an introduction to two people who should know each other.
Send someone flowers who would never expect it.
Compliment a stranger who looks like they’re having a rough day.
Pay for someone else’s meal.
Select something from 20 more ideas to be a better person.

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#15: Sound Confident

Want to hear about something people often forget?

Their own voicemail (I’ll explain soon). Little do people know that the way they feel about themselves—and their own self value—can be heard in their own voice.

A 1991 study measured both the vocal loudness and how fast someone responded when answering trivia questions. And guess what? They found that the more confident someone was in their answers… the louder and faster they sounded.

But you didn’t need me to tell you that. When you’re naturally more confident—in a comfortable environment with a close group of friends, or when you’re singing in the shower, for example— your voice just sounds better.

Having better self-worth makes your voice naturally sound better.

And, like the above tip, there’s a pattern. When your voice sounds better… you’ll have higher self-esteem and self-worth.

So here’s an action step for you: Re-record your voicemail so you actually like the way you sound.

And if you need more tips on how to increase your vocal power, check out my tutorial on upping your vocal power. This will not only help you sound confident… It will help you feel confident!

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#16: Walk

This is an easy one—go take a walk. Even if it’s just 12 minutes.

Why 12?

A 2016 study from psychologists at Iowa State University found that walking for just 12 minutes a day—even without happy mood boosters like sunshine, nature, social contact, and music—can powerfully boost your mood.

Sometimes a quick fix to increase our self-worth is as easy as changing our environment. If you can, try walking outside. Another study in 2018 found that walking in nature further lowered stress than simply walking on a treadmill.

But sometimes it’s not easy to walk regularly. Maybe it’s too inconvenient or there’s no park nearby. If you already walk all the time, try a new setting—is there a new spot you have been wanting to try?

Go try a new cup of coffee. Or pick up a new kind of gum at the local mart.

Easy, peasy, powerful.

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#17: Start a Success File

Why remind yourself of your successes?

Psychologist David DeSteno studied the relationships between success and emotions. Here’s what he says about success and other prosocial emotions:

“These feelings—gratitude, compassion and pride—are easier to generate than [willpower]… And while willpower is quickly depleted, prosocial emotions actually become stronger the more we use them.”

In other words…

The more you think about your past successes… the more successful you will become.

Not only will we feel more successful, but we will also develop greater resiliency and motivation to achieve our future goals.

What is one of the most valuable things you can do to increase your feelings of success and self-worth? Keep a success file.

In a nutshell, a success file keeps your successes at-the-ready. Whenever you see your success file, you will be reminded of your achievements and be flooded with positive, prosocial emotions which are great for your self-esteem.

Here’s how to make a success file in 3 simple steps:

Brainstorm. Sit down and make a list of all the successes you have had — both large and small. I prefer to keep them online, so I can have access to my success file anywhere, anytime.
Add them to your success folder. For me, this is a little folder in Evernote. For you, this could be a poster on your bedroom wall, or a little note in your wallet / purse.
Add more. After your main file is created, you can make it bigger by keeping nice emails from colleagues, sweet social media comments, or thank-you notes from friends. Add to it every time you have a success, and look through it when you need a self-worth pick-me-up!

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#18: Clear Your Clutter

Being clean is good. Sorry dirt-lovers, but science proves it.

In a 2010 study, women who described their living spaces as “cluttered” or full of “unfinished projects” were more depressed and fatigued than women who’s living spaces were “restful” and “restorative. ”

If you’re especially low in conscientiousness, you might hate cleaning. I get it—sometimes old socks reveal themselves after hiding for weeks under the bed.

But more than anything else, cleaning is a symbol of respect and your own self-worth. What’s more is that cleaning is simple and only takes minutes to see an improvement.

It’s time to do a desk makeover. Try throwing away old papers or things that don’t serve you anymore. Take just 30 minutes to clean out your desk. Do you like every single decorative item sitting on the table? That old Applebee’s gift card your ex-coworker gave you? That old coffee mug you got as a secret Santa gift?

Time to sift and sort out the junk.

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#19: Spread Positivity

Some of the most successful, high self-worth people utilize one special tool for their career success: LinkedIn.

In fact, there are nearly 675 million users of LinkedIn, spanning more than 200 countries across the globe. That’s more than double the entire United States population.

But did you know you can spread that joy through LinkedIn? If you want increased self-worth, try logging into LinkedIn and doing this 1 thing…

Write a positive LinkedIn review. I can almost guarantee it’ll put a smile on someone’s face. And, increase your feelings of self-worth, too.

You see, when you think about the great work relationships you’ve had, it can help you with your own confidence and self-worth. You’ll reminisce about the great work relationships you’ve had… think of the great moments you spent working with your colleagues… and who knows—you might even get one back!

If you have time, also try one of our recommended 15 Tips for LinkedIn.

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#20: Esteemable Acts

What are esteemable acts?

Esteemable acts are actions you can take to increase your confidence. Positive self-talk, exercise, and meditation are all examples of esteemable acts you can do if you need a self-esteem boost.

People with high self-esteem radiate confidence, feel good about themselves, and generally feel attractive.

But is it really true, or is it just a cause of inflated ego?

One thing is for sure: science proves those with higher self-esteem generally are happier people. Self-esteem even has a “buffer effect” that protects against stress.

So how do you reap these amazing benefits?

Here are some ways I engage in esteemable acts:

Sing in the shower while blasting my favorite tunes
Or, dance instead of sing
Look back at my life and see how much I’ve accomplished
Replace toxic news with the funniest YouTube videos
Read a good self-development book
Look in the mirror and say, “You got this!”
Giving myself a self-compliment

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BONUS #21: Be Grateful

Write down 3 things you are grateful for and write them in the video comments or tweet me @Vvanedwards right now! There are even numerous studies mentioned by Harvard that have shown that gratitude is the fastest way to happiness:

Couples who expressed more gratitude towards each other felt not only more positive towards the other person but also more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.
Managers who thanked other people who worked for them found that their employees were more motivated to work.
People who raised money for a fundraiser made 50% more fund-raising calls when they received a pep talk versus those who had not received one.

Here are my 3 grateful things:

I’m grateful for my wonderful daughter, Sienna.
I’m grateful for my amazing hubby.
I’m grateful for YOU! I am honored to be able to help you improve your self-esteem and self-worth. It’s my life’s mission to help you harness your inner potential.

THANK YOU for being you.

And remember…

Investing in your self-worth is one of the best ways to spend your energy and time. You are your most precious resource.

3 foundations of self-respect | PSYCHOLOGIES

43,060

Know yourself

You must respect yourself. Amazing! The only question is how. To start from Monday or from the New Year is an empty shaking of the air. How to start doing something that you have not done and do not know what it is? This advice is an empty phrase if there is no specifics. It’s good if you saw an example from childhood or you were brought up in the spirit of respect for yourself and others. It often happens otherwise. I was raised under the motto "meet other people's expectations." The most frequent phrase I heard was "let me be worse." She meant "I will do what others say, to the detriment of myself." nine0003

When I realized that a normal life begins with self-respect, I had to learn it from the beginning. I looked for points of support and took the first uncertain steps, as a result, I identified three foundations of self-esteem.

1. Adequate self-esteem

Treating oneself as a victim of circumstances, striving to please others, justify other people's expectations, fear of condemnation and, in general, dependence on external evaluations - inadequate and biased self-esteem. The formula "Me and my self-esteem" includes an external variable. nine0003

“Meet success and reproach equally, not forgetting that their voice is false,” wrote Rudyard Kipling in his poem “The Commandment.” I repeated this phrase when again I took someone else's assessment too close to my heart. To find the first point of support, you need to take three steps.

The first step is self-approval simply by the fact of existence

The vast majority of children who grew up to be insecure adults were raised with the best of intentions. But these principles of education included initially false messages. As a child, the worst curse was to hear that you would not be loved. To be good, to be accepted in the team, you need to do the right things. As a result, the installation nested: “You are initially bad, but when you justify someone’s expectations, then, perhaps, you will become good.” Rave? nine0003

This is how the subconscious thinks like a child, the internal program works, which was downloaded at a time when we could not reason and think critically.

To approve oneself means to accept without any conditions

This program has been registered very deeply. Even as adults, we unconsciously continue with these old naive beliefs. Only by pulling these algorithms out, you can see all their absurdity and inconsistency. But while they are in the depths of the unconscious, they are sharks prowling in search of prey. Yes, they were conceived as protection and help, but over time they turned into monsters. nine0003

It's time to remove them, replacing them with new useful settings:

I am, so it's already good.
I approve of myself, period, without conditions.
I'm good on my own, that's how I was made.

The second step is self-acceptance

To approve oneself by the fact of existence means to accept oneself without conditions. An old soda ad had a set of "If I was like him, that would be cool" story line. After that, pictures followed, as all representations of oneself in the place of another invariably turned comical and burst like a soap bubble. There is nothing better than being yourself. nine0003

Be yourself and accept yourself with pluses and minuses (perhaps this is how you perceive some of your qualities). Each person, including you, has pluses, strengths, exceptional qualities. Do not believe me, ask your friends and relatives, be surprised how much good and unique they see in you.

The book of the Soviet psychologist Alexander Luria "A little book about great memory" tells about a man with a phenomenal memory. So, this amazing hero with unlimited mnemonic possibilities believed that everyone had it, he was no different from others. And with you the same story - what you consider banal, perhaps a unique quality. nine0003

Minuses are not minuses, they are fronts of work. The path to success and development is negative feedback. It can and should be accepted with gratitude. Imagine that you no longer feel cold, hot, pain. You can sit on a fire or freeze to death without even noticing it, because there is no negative feedback. This is reminiscent of the elk from the joke, which, with a hangover, comes to the stream to drink water. A hunter shoots at him, and the elk feels so bad that he does not notice the wounds and thinks: “What is it? I drink, I drink, and I get worse and worse. nine0003

Those very minuses are the direction for work. Start asking yourself questions: what can I do to make it better? This applies to everything: work, communication with loved ones, relationships with a partner. When you understand how you can improve, start doing it. Over time, you will not have minuses, there will only be growth and development. You will begin to see yourself as "the possibility of anything."

The third step is to give yourself the right to make mistakes

“I have no right to do this,” the little perfectionist told me. Over time, he turned from a bore into an executioner. This attitude is the product of false attitudes. This is a greeting from childhood, we have taught ourselves to be afraid of making mistakes. Once they were not afraid of anything, they got up and fell until they learned to walk, run and perform other pirouettes. Fear of error is superficial, instilled from the outside. Like varnish, it covers all of our beautiful texture. This is another example of good intentions backfiring. Mistake is normal, it is the feedback necessary for growth. nine0003

Successful people perceive mistakes differently. “I just found 10,000 ways that don’t work,” Thomas Edison said of his failures. It is an experience that enriches life. Take on a new attitude: “I have the right to be wrong. This is how I learn and become more effective, wiser.”

2. Knowing and feeling competent

“Who knows that you are in love? Only you alone. You feel it with all your skin ”(from the film“ Matrix ”).

The feeling of one's own competence is not social recognition, but inner knowledge. You just know that you are the best, no matter what. nine0003

As a child, I knew that no one could ride the waves better than me. On the beach, he was a “bodysurfing” champion, which he opened himself, no one knew if there was such a thing (there was no Internet then, the TV broadcast only two channels). There were no competitions in a fictitious sport, I just knew that I had no equal in this. You may have a signature pilaf or pies recipe. No one better than you in the family cooks pizza, embroiders, manages staff? When I was a student working part-time in the USA, I considered myself the best dishwasher, the feeling of my competence overwhelmed. I walked with my head held high. nine0003

Competence can be anything. Here are three steps to help you get this tool:

Think for yourself and ask independent experts (friends and loved ones): what are you good at? Perhaps you are the best wife, mother or father, daughter, grandfather, friend? It is important! This is no less important than being a narrow-profile specialist in Silicon Valley or a large corporation.
There is such quality. Connect it to yourself and every time you do it, say - "I'm doing great!" nine0030
Listen to how you feel when you do your job. Fix them in the body, "register" them at the cellular level, so that every particle knows that you are the best. Enjoy this feeling. It does not need to be demonstrated - you know about it, that's enough.

3. Harmonious relationships

Yes, relationships are the cornerstone of life. How many people stumble, break spears, step on rakes, walk in circles. They ask: "Why do I get only moral freaks?" They throw themselves into the abyss of new relationships and, after a wave of passion, sink to the bottom of depression. nine0003

The problem is not the world or people. The question to ask yourself is: “Why do I choose only scum from a variety of people?” Yes, yes, you do it yourself, you are the reason for everything that happens to you. Both partners and the nature of the relationship you choose.

You will consciously choose worthy partners

Having gone through the above steps, having found two points of support, you will receive a third one. A person with low self-esteem, who does not respect himself, chooses a partner whose relationship brings only negativity and suffering. When you evaluate yourself adequately and objectively, do not pay attention to external assessments, know your competence and uniqueness, you do not need to jump into the last car, rush at the first one that comes across, you no longer need this suffering. nine0003

Some people will leave the environment, and they will be replaced by those who are in tune with you. You will consciously choose worthy partners, build relationships based on love, trust, acceptance, respect and support.

About the author

Sergey Ivanov is a blogger who writes about self-development and personal growth. His blog.

Text: Sergey Ivanov Photo source: Getty Images

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What is self-respect? Composition-reasoning on the topic 15.2 and 15.3

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In my opinion, V. Kondratyev, saying “and thereby more significant he saw his work there ... ”meant that the hero, looking at the almost peaceful life of the city, realizes the significance of his actions there, on the front line, just two hundred kilometers from Moscow. All this fills him with a sense of respect for his feat and the feat of his comrades. nine0129 Examples from the text can serve as confirmation of what has been said. So, the hero does not leave the feeling of a miracle when he sees people hurrying to work, well-dressed, carrying morning newspapers in their hands (proposition 17-23).
Comparing what is happening at the front, and what Sashka saw upon arrival in Moscow, he clearly understands that all the sacrifices that are made on the battlefield are not in vain (preposition 24-25).
Thus, it can be argued that it was the realization of the significance of the feat of the Russian soldier that filled Sashka with pride. nine0003

Self-respect is a character trait that manifests itself in a respectful attitude to one's deeds, actions and decisions, recognition of one's own merits.
Self-respect does not allow a person to humiliate himself in front of other people and allows him to humiliate himself. Self-respect is not the same as self-love, because the latter is admiring yourself and forgiving yourself for the most unsightly acts. Unlike self-respect, self-esteem does not tolerate criticism.
This can be confirmed by an example from the text of V. Kondratiev. So, the hero of the story Sashka, returning from the front and seeing how people live in the rear: they dress well, read newspapers, he felt great pride in what he and his comrades did at the front, since it was for the sake of such a life that they brought their lives as a sacrifice (proposition 23-26).
Another example of a person who treats himself with respect is Andrey Sokolov, the hero of M. Sholokhov's story "The Fate of a Man." So, Andrei, having been captured, was able to maintain his self-esteem and resist the temptation to accept food from the Nazis. Although the feeling of hunger was great, the hero drinks several glasses of vodka in a row, but refuses bread and lard. Thus, Sokolov proves that you can’t just take the Russians and he won’t humiliate himself for the sake of a piece of bread. Such behavior of Andrey, his dignity strikes the German boss, and he cancels the order to be shot. nine0129 Summing up, we can say that self-respect is a very important feeling that allows you to maintain human dignity in the most difficult life situations, it is a sense of pride in relation to a person in oneself.

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Go to works on tasks 15.2 and 15.3

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(Charles Louis Montesquieu )

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History of two Kaliningrads

⁠Did you know that for fifty years there were two cities with the same name in Russia? A city near Moscow, which is known to the younger generation as Korolev, since 19For 38 years it was called Kaliningrad.

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