React try not to laugh

Nerdfighteria Wiki - YouTubers React To Try to Watch this Without Laughing (EXTRAS #11)



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Brittani Louise Taylor
Jordan Maron AKA CaptainSparklez
Harley from Epic Meal Time
Justine Ezarik
Jack and Finn Harries
Joe Penna
Felix AKA PewDiePie
Shane Dawson
Timothy DeLaGhetto
Hank Green

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Video Featured in this Episode:
Try to watch this without laughing or grinning

If you watch this 100 times you'll still laugh!


Skype Laughter Chain

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YouTubers React #11 - Try to Watch This Without Laughing or Grinning

YouTubers React Theme Music

Harley: Yawns are pretty contagious too. Yawns through the phone, isn't that crazy. Someone yawns on the phone, and you get it? You yawn? When I was in high school, what I used to do is this. I used to go like this - be like /stretches, yawns/ and then I would stop and I would look around, and then if there was any girls yawning, that meant that they were watching me. And I would like get a heads up you know? So I would fake and I'd be like /stretches, yawns/ - Oh. And now I know.

FineBros: Like if you're not the one participating and you're the friend that's showing them, why is it fun to watch people trying not to laugh?

Twin 2 (Jack & Finn): Oh it's awesome to have that control, like - 

Twin 1: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah - 

Twin 2: - I'm gonna make you laugh by showing this - 

Twin 1: - that power of control, right? Like you're making them do something they're trying so hard not to do.  How many things could I force you to do without touching you? If I sat here and wanted you to do a certain thing, like, nothing - unless I yawn, you might yawn. Or if I make you laugh - if I show you something funny you might life.

FineBros: So you both love to have power over others?

Twin 1: Power, mwah ha ha ha.

Twin 2: /laughs/

Twin 1: Yeah, like that.

FineBros: So what did you think of the video with the goat and the ladder?

Harley: I'd seen that, I don't remember sitting through that much of it though. I think I like, I was like, "Oh it's a guy on drugs, I've seen this before."

Brittani: I think it was like his accent, his laugh that was funny, it's not even the goat. It's like him like laughing about the goat.

Shane: This is a whole video game culture thing I just don't get. I never played a video game like that. I don't understand it, I don't know why there was a goat, I don't know why he was laughing, I don't know why he was talking to himself, I don't know why he was videotaping himself playing - I don't get it. Ask Toby Turner.

FineBros: Can you imitate one of the laughs you heard in the laughter chain video?

Brittani: /makes laughing sounds/

Felix: /makes laughing sounds/

Joe: /makes laughing sounds, coughs/ I can't.

Hank: I also really liked the silent woman. I was just like, "Wow, what are you like in bed."

FineBros: Why listen to people laugh - why does it make people laugh?

Shane: I mean I guess the answer would be that laughing is infectious, but I guess it's not to me. Crying. That's infectious.

Hank: 'Cus we're people. We're social animals. We empathize, uh, subconsciously, like we don't have to think about that.

Adande: My friends and I, it was bad when we were in school because one person out of no where would just go /makes laughing sounds/ in class and then for the next fifty minutes we don't hear a thing the teacher is saying 'cus we're just like /makes laughing sounds/ holding our noses, turning red, just sitting there doing this in class.

FineBros: Why is this idea of "I bet you can't watch this without laughing" become a popular challenge?

Joe: I don't know, I think if you prime someone to not watch it without laughing, then you're even more likely to laugh about it.

Twin 1: If you'd shown it to me when this is, like, the funniest thing you've ever seen, I probably wouldn't laugh. Like it's the fact that you're saying, "I bet you can't not laugh," like you're challenging - 

Twin 2: - you're thinking about it - 

Twin 1: - yeah, you can't not do it. Again, it's human nature. Like, you're messing with our minds, guys, and I don't like it.

Jordan: I'm sure that your parents told you when you were kids when you're really - you're frowny, you didn't get your ice cream, your ice cream spilled on the ground and they're like, "Don't smile, don't you smile," you couldn't resist, you would smile.

Adande: You guys wanna do something really cool? Fill your mouth up with water and then try not to laugh in a room full of people. Try that. That's what we used to do, and it was so much fun.

FineBros: Why do we laugh, anyway?

Timothy: You just need a way to express how you're feeling. You see somebody fall down and it's like your body doesn't know what to do but just start like, uh, spewing out random noises from your wind hole.

Joe: It'd be weird to be an alien and come down and like be trying to decipher people and be like, "Blah blah /makes laughing sounds/, blah blah /makes laughing sounds/. " It's like what are those noises, those short bursts of noises? What could they possibly be saying in there?

FineBros: Let's do it again. Let's see if you can make it through.

Justine: Please don't do that to me. /laughs/ 

Brittani: I'm not gonna laugh.

Shane: Wait that whole thing again? No, why?! No!!!

(Video #1 starts)

Timothy: Storm trooper easy. We got this.

Brittani: Not the thrusting, but just - /chuckles/

FineBros: /laughs/

Shane: /laughs/ He's doing this, stop it please.

(Video #3 starts)
(Video #3: What is that?)  

Joe: I don't know.

(Video #3: Aww let me see your face!)

Joe: No, no.

(Video #3: /laughter/)

Twin 1 & 2: /laughs/ 

Twin 1: God!

Felix: It's so cute.  /chuckles/ Aw come on, I was just laughing at that. /laughs/

(Video #3: I can't believe it.)

Hank: I can't believe it! /chuckles/

(Video #3: /laughter/)

Adande: I think - I've got to laugh. Or smile. You said smiling or laughing. Who is this guy?

(Video #3: /laughter/)

Joe: /laughs/ The goat, it's the ladder goat /laughs/. I can't make it through the ladder goat.

(Video #4 starts)

Harley: Okay, this one. This is tricky.

Timothy: It's - it's the noise!

Justine: NOOO, this is such a long clip! /laughs/ OH!! NOOOOO!!!
I did much better, right?

FineBros: Two for two?

Jordan: I'm one to take a challenge, what can I say.

5 tips on what to do when your child swears

When children swear, parents should try to stay calm and not overreact, parenting experts say. PHOTO: ISTOCKPHOTO


January 16, 2023 at 5:40 AM


January 15, 2023 at 3:00 PM

SINGAPORE – When Ms Esther Foong-Tan’s daughter was three years old, she told her elder brother to “f*** off”.

Ms Foong-Tan, 38, was shocked as swearing is not allowed in their family, but it turned out to be a teachable moment.

She recalls resisting the urge to react emotively. She calmly asked her pre-schooler Phoebe if she knew what the expletive meant.

Phoebe thought it meant “to go away” and was “grossed out” when her mother gave a brief, age-appropriate explanation. Phoebe, now aged nine, has not used the profanity since.

“How we respond to our children swearing will determine if they continue to use vulgarities – sometimes in secret, unknown to us – or if they stop,” says Ms Foong-Tan, a family life educator.

She is a co-founder of parent group SGFamilies, and she and her husband Elvin Foong, 41, are co-founders of The Treasure Box Singapore, a company that provides families with parenting resources and training. Their son, Nathan, is 11.

Most children swear as a rite of passage, and research suggests that kids are doing so at a younger age than before.

In 2010, American psychology professor Timothy Jay presented data at the Sociolinguistics Symposium held in Britain, which found that children as young as two were using swear words, an earlier age than had been recorded in the three decades prior.

Prof Jay, who has published extensively on the topic of swearing, said that the rise in vulgarity among adults coincided with a similar uptick in the number of young people using offensive language.

It is developmentally normal for children to try out swear words, says Dr Natalie Games, a clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling, which offers counselling and psychotherapy services.

The reasons are multitudinous and depend on the age of the child.

Older children in their tweens or early teens may be navigating how they fit in socially or they may want to feel that they are “being a little bad”, says Dr Games.

Younger children, like pre-schoolers, who use curse words are usually exploring language, she adds.

Since testing boundaries in using profanity is almost expected in children, parents should be prepared to respond, says Dr Games.

Here are some suggestions on what to do when your youngster swears.

1. Do not overreact

Ms Foong-Tan thinks that if she had had a “big reaction” to her daughter Phoebe’s first attempt at profanity, there might have been a different outcome. As a little child then, Phoebe may have registered that the expletive “cannot be said in front of mama and papa”, but may have continued to use the vulgarity in situations where her parents were absent.

“This doesn’t solve the problem in the long run,” says Ms Foong-Tan.

“Sometimes, children swear because they want to express an emotion and don’t have the vocabulary to do so. We can teach them alternative words and solutions.”

For instance, children can be taught to take actions such as walking away or telling their parents that they are annoyed, she adds.

In cases where children resort to swearing as they are unable to express emotions such as anger and frustration, Dr Games recommends validating the child’s feelings in the moment.

“You want the child to know it is okay to have that emotion. When the situation is calmer, address the swearing, such as by saying how you appreciate that the child was upset, but that there are better ways to express it,” says Dr Games.

“You want them to pause, which gives them time to align themselves according to how they want to respond. It’s empowering for them to make decisions for themselves.”

2. Talk about it

There is no need to sweep the topic under the carpet, though there is a place for the judicious use of “planned ignoring”, says clinical psychologist Sanveen Kang.

Dr Kang, founder of Psych Connect, a specialist psychology clinic with child development and wellness services, says: “On occasion, you may feel that your child is using profanity to provoke a response from you. If so, ignoring him or her may be the most effective strategy. Do not respond or look at your child. If he or she does not get attention for using the swear word, the cursing may stop.”

Ms Foong-Tan encourages parents to help their children assess if swearing brings any value to their situation, and how other people may view them if they swear habitually.

In her daughter Phobe’s case all those years ago, cursing did not remedy the situation she found herself in. Phoebe had wanted her brother to stop bothering her, but he complained to Ms Foong-Tan about Phoebe instead.

Older children can also be guided to discern whether swearing is in keeping with their values, says Ms Foong-Tan.

“When a child understands the meaning and impact of swearing, he or she can then make an informed decision about whether to carry on swearing,” she adds.

Now that her children are in their tweens, they correct her on rare occasions in a running family joke.

“I once said something was ‘damn irritating’ and my kids asked, ‘Do you have an alternative word, mama?’ I taught them too well,” says Ms Foong-Tan.

3. Try not to laugh too much

Profanity in the mouths of babes can be hilarious.

In 2021, video footage was uploaded online showing a toddler insisting there was “a f****** goat” in the backyard. The clip went viral, garnering millions of views on social media.

Laughing too hard in such scenarios may reinforce to the child that swearing “brings delight to adults”, which may not be helpful, says Dr Games.

4. Affirm your child’s efforts

Discuss with your child which words are unacceptable and agree to specific consequences such as loss of a privilege if inappropriate terms are used, says Dr Kang.

Dr Kang adds: “Pay attention to the behaviours you want to encourage. Praise your child if he went the whole day without using a swear word.” 

Although children may be exposed to swear words in the media or through their friends, basic gatekeeping is needed for younger children. 

Dr Kang suggests “being aware of what your child watches, listens to and plays with”. Parents can check the ratings on television shows, movies, games and apps, and avoid watching shows with such language in the presence of their children.

5. Do not make it personal

Be clear about your family values as families differ on whether they choose to ban swearing altogether, or take a more casual approach.

Dr Kang says: “As parents, we can decide which words are acceptable for our children to use and which words we want to remain forbidden.”

Look at whether there are underlying behavioural issues that should be addressed, rather than focusing on the language used. For example, using swear words as a form of verbal abuse is concerning, says Dr Games.

Sometimes, parents think their children swearing is a reflection of their parenting. She says: “Children make mistakes, don’t take it personally. It’s not about you. You’re their guide in this.”

Parents can take heart from the fact that “as children get more mature, the attraction of swearing seems to lessen”.

  • Children and youth
  • Families

10 little things that he will notice on the first date

At the first meeting, in a break between excitement and lowing, when there is nothing to say, he will notice (and notice) some important things about you and about you. There is no need to artificially improve the impression, but why not practice, for example, to laugh beautifully?

Vita Zorina


Significant other

Goodbye nine0003

voice tips

Libra man


1. Smile

Your mouth (and face in general) is the first part of your body that he will pay attention to. Not only on the shape of the lips and the evenness of the teeth, but also on the way you speak and react. A warm welcoming smile (“Hello, let's chat!”) Or a mysterious laugh (“Try, but you have to work hard!”)?

2. Laughter

A shrewd man will try to turn your smile into a real laugh. If you like everything, you will laugh beautifully and contagiously - and you will certainly charm him. Laughter in itself will help him understand whether you are in danger of continuing the date: warm, pleasant, booming - yes, but a nervous smirk will rather remind him of the expression on the face of an elderly uncle.

3. Sense of humor

He made you laugh - now it's your turn. Everything that makes him smile will be written in a book with your virtues. nine0003

4. Eyes

He will certainly look into them - and more than once. An experienced person will catch your eye not only to evaluate the cut and fit of the eyes on the face. No wonder they say that the eyes are the window to the soul, and this is often true. Eye contact allows you to convey a lot of information, and he will try to read the signals that you send.

5. Voice

It may not be the first or second thing he will notice and appreciate, but the voice makes a significant contribution to your image. So try not to sing arias, out of tune on every note, and not answer all questions in a tone that breaks with excitement. nine0003

6. Body type

The structure of your body is the most important physical characteristic. For many men, the weight of a woman does not matter, but for some it is paramount. Everyone is different, and if only the shell is important to him in a person, check if he himself is empty inside.



Your smell is something that he can remember for a long time. Use what you like, but don't get carried away with fragrances for the elderly with fourteen cats at home.

8. Style

They may not know who the designer of your dress is or how to pronounce the brand of shoes, but they can notice and appreciate your personal style. Perhaps it will affect the overall impression of you. Are you a hipster or a fashionable woman, do you like skirts or jeans?

9. Chest

Even if he denies it, his gaze will definitely linger on this place (and more than once). That's the way men are. If you want to divert attention from this part of the body, you are welcome, but he will notice and appreciate it anyway. nine0003

10. Self-confidence

This is a very important feature that he will certainly notice. If you put yourself on a high enough level, demonstrate your integrity as a person, he will definitely like it, especially since it is so attractive!

Advice for teenagers from - Together against bullying

In the animal world, a herd of herbivores sometimes attacks a predator, starts to chase and poison it (the phenomenon is described by ethologist Konrad Lorenz in the book "Aggression"), and this phenomenon is called "mobbing" . In the world of people, almost every person can be subjected to such an attack by the "crowd". The most vulnerable to mobbing are children and teenagers. You often don’t understand why your classmates bully you and try to prove to them that you are “not the same” as they think of you, and then you start blaming yourself for everything, gradually getting used to insults and violence. Fear and guilt destroy your personality and corner you if you don't understand what you're up against in your new class or your old class, on the sports team or at summer camp. But you can prevent bullying or reverse the conflict situation if you have an idea of ​​the signs of mobbing and learn how to resist it. nine0082

This article is written for you guys based on a true story that my student shared with me. This is a very typical "scenario" of school bullying (mobbing), since I have heard similar stories more than once from children and parents. And the mistakes the boy made. also very typical. And I don’t want you to repeat his mistakes, so I tell you this story and offer options for behavior in a situation of school bullying.

A familiar situation

The family moved to a new area of ​​the city, and Serezha had to change schools. The teenager entered a new class and immediately became the object of special attention from classmates. At first they just looked at him, "sniffed", and then began to test his stamina: they laughed behind his back, joked about him, publicly bullied and insulted him. Classmates were annoyed by absolutely everything in Sergey:

  • they didn't like the way he dresses;
  • they were annoyed by his earring and too long bangs;
  • they didn't like the music he listened to;
  • they didn't like the picture on his backpack;
  • they didn't like that he raised his hand in class and the teachers praised him.

It seemed to the guys that he was "cockereling", "exhibiting", but in fact, Serezha was just himself - the way he always was. And he wasn't going to change. Actions followed after prompting and verbal skirmishes: classmates hid Sergei's notebooks, tore up a piece of paper with a test, threw a backpack out of the window, tripped him up, and when he fell, he broke his eyebrow. nine0003

The teenager thought that everything would be fine and began to endure the attacks of classmates, although from time to time he snapped. He became withdrawn and taciturn. Coming from school, he increasingly locked himself in the room and did not leave for a long time. To all the parents' questions about "new friends", the boy answered in monosyllables: "Everything is fine." But in fact, the situation worsened - his feelings and inner fear fettered his will, did not allow him to calmly and freely answer in class, walk during breaks, go without looking into the wardrobe or into the sports locker room. Sergei began to realize that he no longer wanted to go to school and began to skip classes - he hung out on the streets and sat in the park on a fine day. One day he met some classmates who were truant. The boys began to insult him, and he answered them. Word for word... A fight broke out, but the police arrived. When this case was analyzed at school, the boys said that Sergei "always starts everything himself." Classmates confirmed that Sergei often rushes at them "out of the blue." The teacher, who knew how a newcomer was treated in the class, did not take Sergey's side, and to the director's question about the boy's behavior in the class, she replied: "He can be strange ... You don't know what to expect from him." The director called Seryozha's parents to school and told them about her son's behavior. At home, the parents “added”: “If they climb on you, it means that you provoke them yourself. You yourself are to blame for everything! They can't fool so many people." The boy did not consider it necessary to justify himself. He was just tired and didn't know what to do. At that time, it seemed to Sergei that the whole world turned against him... The only person who helped him in this critical situation was his classmate. All these months she felt sorry for him, but in class she was afraid to express sympathy and give him her support, so as not to turn into an outcast herself. But she told her mother the story of the fight. Mom started asking her about how all this time the guys in the class treated the "newbie". When it turned out that he was being bullied and bullied, the girl's mother called Sergei's parents and told them everything. The situation went too far, and they decided to transfer Serezha to another school. But the boy no longer wanted to leave his tormentors, as he put up with violence. By his own admission, he was afraid that everything would repeat itself in the new school, and in this school he already knew what to expect from classmates. Such behavior testified to the "psychological trauma" he had received. In psychology, this painful dependence on their tormentors is called the "Stockholm Syndrome", when a person submits to the oppressor and even begins to sympathize with him. And the saddest thing is that Sergei resigned himself to the fact that he is a victim and accepted this new "status". nine0003

If Sergey had turned to his parents or teachers for help in time, then it would have been possible to stop bullying at a very early stage. And if he himself had information about how to behave in such a situation, then perhaps such serious consequences for his psyche could have been avoided. And I am very sorry that I learned this story when he had already transferred to another school and even started going to a psychologist to overcome his fear of the unknown. What would I advise Sergei if he told me about what happened in the first days and weeks of study at a new school. nine0003


What our hero faced is called in psychology school mobbing . School mobbing is a kind of emotional abuse, when suddenly a class or a large part of the class takes up arms against some classmate / classmate and starts to poison them. The purpose of this psychological harassment is to force them to obey the leading group and its laws, or to force them to leave the class. Those who poison are called mobbers. The word is beautiful, but it does not decorate them at all. Those who are being bullied are usually called “victims” in psychology, but this is not entirely true either. Until the person himself decides that he is a "victim", he will not become a victim. nine0003

The psychological terror of one person against another is called bullying. Bullying is also common in the school world, as it is associated with the struggle for leadership: the “hero” or “heroine” of the class is afraid of losing the leadership position, and therefore is afraid of competition from the “newcomer”. The means to achieve the goal in mobbing/bullying are:

  • spreading rumors;
  • intimidation;
  • isolation/boycott;
  • verbal abuse; nine0094
  • damage to personal belongings of the “victim”;
  • social media harassment;
  • dissemination of false information through social networks;
  • humiliation and physical abuse.

It may seem to you that it all looks like a computer game - "catching up and knocking out", but it is much more difficult than a game - this is life, or rather, a "rehearsal" of adult life, in which often one person or a group of people strives to subdue a person to his will and deprive him of freedom of choice and freedom of speech. It is not always possible for adults to figure out this difficult situation alone. That is why in a situation of mobbing/bullying you cannot do without the support of friends and trusted adults. Without this support, you can easily not move to the next "level". Situations of mobbing and bullying are the very situations when, in fact, "one man is not a warrior." nine0003

Psychologists say that almost always the “newcomer” is chosen by the majority of the class (mobbing) or by some classmate (bullying) as a victim - he is a “stranger” and he is, as it were, tested for strength or “weak”. But not only “newcomers” suffer from cruel school mobbing / bullying. According to statistics, teenagers are most often subjected to mobbing or bullying:

  • children with facial, visual, hearing defects;
  • very tall or very small guys, the "youngest" ones; nine0094
  • children with defects in movement, speech, etc.;
  • fat or very thin guys;
  • those who stand out for their good studies and exemplary behavior;
  • those who find it difficult to study;
  • those who are disliked by teachers and those who walk in "favorites";
  • those who do not know Russian well enough;
  • those who are distinguished by their style of dress, hairstyle, piercings, tattoos, etc.
  • those who have vacationed with their parents on exotic islands and those whose parents cannot afford it; nine0094
  • children with increased emotionality;
  • reserved and unsociable children and adolescents.

Are you surprised that I have listed almost everyone you have ever met in your life? Then you will be even more surprised when you find out that any person at any age, in any position and in any team, in any country of the world can be in a mobbing situation. Mobbing is a global socio-psychological disease of society, against which special laws help to fight in the USA and Western Europe. Psychologists believe that any person can be bullied if he is "one of his own", from his own environment, but at the same time at least something different from "their own". Pay attention to the phrase "may be exposed"! It is not at all necessary that this will happen, but one must be prepared for this! nine0003

My advice can help those students who are about to move to a new class, and they can be useful for those who feel that for some reason the attitude towards them in their class has suddenly changed for the worse.

Advice for students entering a new class:

  • You should know that this can happen, but you don't have to be afraid of it. Just look at this situation as a new role that you have to play. Even wondering how you will cope with it? nine0094
  • Before you go to school, gather your thoughts and think about what a worthy and good person you are, remember the things for which you were praised or that you yourself were proud of sometime. Think well of yourself.
  • One evening list in your thoughts (or write on paper) all your virtues and achievements (in sports, in computer games, in reading, helping friends and animals), even the most seemingly insignificant ones (cleaned the room, fed the hamster, did not step on the snail, helped the spider get out of the bathroom). nine0094
  • Remember why you were loved/disliked by classmates in the previous class, and try to draw conclusions about what you should or should not do/say in the new class. For example, never gossip, don't join groups, and don't create groups yourself.
  • Be prepared to be alone for a while. But you don't have to worry about your loneliness. Ancient Greek philosopher at the beginning of the 1st century. BC. Hekaton of Rhodes said: “You will ask what I have achieved? He became his own friend!", and the Roman philosopher Seneca added to this: "He has achieved a lot, because now he will never be alone. And know: such a person will be a friend to everyone. In other words, know how to be alone with yourself, know how to occupy yourself, become interesting to yourself, and then other people will also become interested in you over time. nine0094
  • Don't look at your phone all the time, don't wait for SMS. After all, you are waiting for confirmation that you have been accepted into the group, that you are part of the whole. Such a feature of your age is that you need to identify yourself through belonging to any group. You cannot understand who you are until you look at yourself through the eyes of your peers and are convinced of your similarity. If you understand that this is just such an age-related psychological phenomenon, then perhaps it will become easier for you, and you will not strive to join the group in order to understand and accept yourself as you are. nine0094
  • And if they don't want to accept you into their circle, don't be afraid to get bad news. You can live perfectly well without their approval and confirmation. You can remain yourself and sooner or later you will be rewarded for your perseverance. You don't have to sacrifice habits and freedom to please someone who considers himself the "elite" of the class. By showing an independent character, you will immediately arouse their respect and interest in yourself. Remember that the world does not end with this group of guys. You can always leave school and quickly forget their faces. So why should you feel dependent on their opinion, which is as fickle as the weather? nine0094
  • Don't try to please those who like you but don't accept you. This is a bad business. Don't try to flatter or play along with them. Even if they accept you, they will still laugh and gossip behind your back. The loss of self-esteem and independence is too high a price to pay for being on errands for some arrogant guy or girl. Let them become interested in you and begin to solve you like a riddle. And for this, be mysterious, laconic, be inaccessible to many. And stay calm and unruffled in any situation. nine0094
  • Walk with a straight back and look into the eyes of your offenders. Even a wild animal in the forest can be confused by a glance. Don't take your eyes off.
  • Put on a mask of indifference and do not react to injections and mocking remarks addressed to you. Let it be their problem - to piss you off. They will become more and more infuriated that they failed to catch your resentment like a wave in surfing. But when they start to hit hard, you can, looking into your eyes and straightening your back, say in a low voice: "You will do / say this again and you will see what will happen." Or you can just send the offender away. And, in the end, you can use force, but only by evaluating your capabilities and the alignment of forces. And do not feel fear at the same time, do not feel like a victim. Fear is transmitted to offenders. They need your fear like bees need nectar. nine0094
  • Remember that outside the walls of the school there is a big world in which you can take an important place. Find a job you love outside of school. For example, take up sports or music, develop scenarios for computer games, or volunteer work. An enthusiastic person always commands respect, and the class will understand that for you the light has not converged on your relationship, and outside the school you are important to someone, you have other interests and a different social circle.
  • Be humble, try not to stand out too much with your appearance. Don't brag, don't show off new "gadgets" or a new phone. These recommendations do not mean that you should turn into a "gray mouse". Some people will never succeed at all, but being able to fit into a new team is an art and, if you like, a game. Try it, but don't give up on yourself, on your habits and style. nine0094
  • While you learn the rules of the game, you should listen more than talk, look closely at everything and everyone, and for this you need to be, as it were, in your personal refuge, without attracting too much attention to yourself. But do not confuse this position with fear when you want to fall into a hole so that you will not be noticed and offended once again.
  • Try to be friendly and even with everyone. Ask for advice from those who love to give it, and help those who you think need it. Try to analyze the relationships in the class. In the evening, before going to bed, do a “revision” (as those who practice martial arts call it). Lie down and remember what happened during the day at school. Who is friends with whom, who dislikes whom, what groups there are and what kind of relationship they have with each other. Remember the remarks, snippets of phrases, views. This is also communication - communication, but non-verbal, that is, without words. Estimate who could maintain normal relations with you, who has already supported you with a look or a gesture. nine0094
  • Don't impose your company, but don't walk around alone. If there is someone in the new class who shows interest in you, communicate with him more often. Do not get involved in friendship if they do not want to accept you into their circle. You can do without friends in class, for that matter. You are a unique individual. You have your own circle of interests, and you yourself can create a circle of friends and like-minded people if you only want to. And it is not at all necessary that these will be your classmates.
  • From the very first lessons at your new school, don't let the teachers be rude to you. Try to answer them politely, but firmly, so that they understand that you did not like their statement. You can talk to adults if they are wrong, like this: “You don’t need to talk to me like that. I ask you not to address me like that. Please don't be rude to me. You have no right to talk to students like that. There is a Declaration of the Rights of the Child, which talks about protecting the rights and dignity of children. You are breaking the law." If you do this after the first attack on you, then you may stop other attempts to insult you. If you stand up for yourself in front of students who are used to enduring the teacher’s rude treatment, then the attitude in the class towards you will change for the better. Not every child can stand up for himself, so you will surely arouse respect and even a feeling of gratitude in one of your classmates. nine0094
  • Perhaps your help will also be needed by one of your classmates, whom the teacher has chosen as a "scapegoat" and is constantly hammering. Read wonderful books in which your peers, who themselves are emotionally abused, stand up for those who are even worse off than they are - the weak and disadvantaged. These books provide an excellent example of how, by saving another, you can save yourself and even turn the tide by gaining respect from your persecutors. I recommend reading David Almond's book Fire Eaters (10+) and Sally Gardner's dystopia Worm Moon (13+). nine0094

Let's go back to the situation with Sergey .

Our hero should have been alerted by the first signs of mobbing, when classmates

  • laughed behind his back;
  • made cruel jokes about him in front of everyone;
  • words hurt his appearance.

Sergei should have rebuffed them immediately. And he thought that everything would end by itself if he let all these insults fall on deaf ears, but the mobbing rolled on him like a snowball from a hill. Classmates felt that he did not answer them not because of inner strength, but because of his fear and weakness. He wanted to be invisible so that he would not be touched. And a person who tries to be invisible immediately attracts attention. Sergei could have prevented the persecution from continuing if he had immediately reacted to the first signs of mobbing. It is very important to make it clear, as the world of wildlife, that you are not to be trifled with. But then you can already walk around with feigned indifference, occasionally snarling or calmly answering something like this: “That's your opinion. It doesn't interest me. Think as you wish. Doesn't touch me." And you need to lead your role without interruptions for tears and resentment. And Sergey endured until:

  • spoiled his things, hid his notebooks, threw his bag out the window;
  • publicly bullied and insulted in order to provoke him into a response;
  • finally achieved that he could not stand it and rushed into the fray;
  • during the analysis of the situation with the school administration, he was accused of aggressive behavior and that he "always starts first. "

Think about what else Seryozha could do to turn the tide. I've been thinking about this and I suggest

advice for those who are entering a new class or feeling a change in attitude towards themselves in their class:

  • (mobbing). Reread before going to bed and add what you experienced during the day. Be sure to remember and write down your reaction to the actions of your classmates! Put dates before each entry. Never wear these records to school. Mobbing is very hard to prove. If you have a diary with entries about what happened to you, then adults who do not always want to deal with teenage conflicts will have to take action. nine0094
  • Fight back immediately and don't wait for the situation to develop. Let them understand from the very first time that they cannot do this to you.
  • Never consider yourself a victim. Don't feel sorry for yourself! Remember: what happens is not your fault. This can happen to anyone and at any age. But you should definitely think about the fact that this happened because of which the attitude of your classmates, with whom you have been studying for more than a year, has suddenly changed. Analyze the moment when everything went wrong. Try to fix the situation. Have a good one-on-one talk with those or those with whom you have tension in a relationship. If you see aggression, then don't run into it, but just leave and start ignoring the aggressor. Believe me - ignoring very often hurts those who are trying to get to you and find your weak spot. nine0094
  • Look closely at your classmates, and you will see among them those or someone who does not participate in your persecution, who, perhaps, even silently expresses sympathy for you. Talk to him, try to make friends. If you see a person in the class who is also being mobbed or bullied, try to cheer him up and give him moral support. If there are already two or three of you, then the mobbers may retreat.
  • Whatever happens to you, try to be calm and even in all your manifestations. Feel your inner strength, which is given to every person. How do you know that you have it? Have you ever run in the dark? If yes, then you remember that you did not fall then, but ran even faster than during the day. You were carried by your inner strength. nine0094
  • Think well of yourself. It is passed on to other people. Look at yourself in the mirror with pleasure. Smile and.. become your friend))).
  • The mirror will also help you to rehearse response lines. I propose such an exercise in front of the mirror: stand straight, raise your chin, look into your eyes, speak more quietly and lower the timbre of your voice. Feel your inner strength and confidence, and for this you need to be collected and internally fit. And remember - they need something from you, you don't need them, so you can tell them about it and send them away. nine0094
  • Don't lose your temper - that's what mobbers are waiting for. Maintain your self-respect. No offense! “They carry water on the offended,” people say. It is difficult, but possible, especially if you have your own world outside of school, and you know that not all relationships are limited to the classroom.
  • Do not fall for the changed attitude towards you. If they suddenly start to praise you and climb into your friendship. who recently despised you, then try to understand what they need from you. Very often, such an attempt to make friends is followed by a “set-up”. They want you to relax and stop being defensive in order to strike. This strategy is often used by girls: don't be friends - then make friends and find out secrets - then again don't be friends and betray. Remember the fable of I.A. Krylov about the crow and the fox. "Darling, how pretty!" Flattery can overshadow the mind. If you treat all manifestations of sympathy that has suddenly arisen for you with a certain amount of distrust and suspicion, this can save you from bitter disappointment. And if this happens - you fall for flattery - then there will be no one to blame but yourself. nine0094
  • When you realize that nothing helps and only gets worse, turn to those adults (parents, teachers, school principal, school psychologist) you trust for help. BUT this must be done on time, i.e. before you are provoked into a fight and then accused of all mortal sins. Be sure to read your notes to adults! They will help you "remember everything" and prove that the persecution by classmates was long and thoughtful, and this is mobbing. nine0094
  • Don't be afraid to talk about your problems - this is not denunciation or snitching. Don't be afraid to tell, even if you blame yourself for something. And call a spade a spade - tell the teacher, psychologist, director and parents that you are being mobbed by classmates / classmate and show your notes. This is the only way to save yourself from psychological trauma, which can remind you of yourself even when you are transferred to another school.
  • Remember that mobbing is the problem of those who offend you. They have some complexes and grievances that they are trying to take out on you. It's just that now you've got their hands on it. If you don't let yourself get hurt, they will find someone else. And then the majority of the indifferent who do not support you in the class are simply afraid to be "on the new one" - "scapegoat" or "black sheep". Turning to adults for help, you may save your mobbers: having not received a rebuff in their youth, they will certainly continue their attack on the weak or "others" who are not like them in adulthood. And who knows how it will end for them and for their new "victims"? In any case, this will already be a problem for society, since mobbing is a common social phenomenon. But for now, this is still a problem of the school, whose administration is obliged to stop school mobbing/bullying. Your task is to use your knowledge of mobbing and bullying in a conversation with the school administration.
  • Let your parents (relative adults or just adult friends) help you. To do this, you need to tell them what happens to you at school. Do not bring the story to that "dead end" in which the hero Familiar Situation found himself. If he kept a diary and wrote down everything that happened to him every day, then it would be easier for him to prove his case. If he had told his parents from the very beginning that he was being pestered in class, then his parents would have taken his side. But Sergei still has a way out. The guy can be transferred to another class, another school. Parents often do this when they realize that the child is no longer paying attention to learning, as he is immersed in experiences about "why he is not loved in the class." In a conversation with parents, do not forget to use your knowledge of mobbing and bullying. Tell them that in many countries around the world there are laws that prohibit harassing people at school/college/work just because they are "different" or someone doesn't like them. nine0094
  • If you ask your parents to transfer to another school, and for some reason they refuse to do so, give them the following argument: the psychological term "burnout" is physical and emotional exhaustion that leads to various psychological diseases that develop not immediately, but accumulate and manifest themselves in serious nervous breakdowns.
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