Positive words for a depressed person
15 Encouraging Things to Say to Someone with Depression
It can be tough finding the right thing to say to someone close who has depression. We’ve put together meaningful options for support.
Depression often makes us feel we’re worthless, like there’s no point to anything, or that we’re unlovable. This is far from the truth, but that can be hard to explain to someone who’s living with depression.
If you want to comfort a friend or loved one who has depression but you feel stuck, consider using these words of encouragement to connect with and support them.
Depression can affect anyone. In fact, around 280 million people live with depression, according to the World Health Organization.
Depression doesn’t look or feel the same to everyone. There are different causes, types, and symptoms that make each person’s experience unique.
Some common characteristics of depression include:
- feelings of hopelessness
- negative thoughts about yourself and the world
- difficulty functioning and doing typical daily activities
- sleep or appetite changes
If you know someone with depression, providing them encouragement, motivation, and support can go a long way to giving them hope and helping them get through difficult times.
Here are some phrases and ideas that might help you support a person you care about who has depression.
When you’re using these, it can help to stay mindful of your context. Only say something if it feels like it makes sense in the situation, and always be genuine and keep an open mind.
Listen and be sensitive to the person’s cues. If they don’t seem receptive, consider trying at a different time or taking a different approach.
‘It’s OK to not feel OK’
Whether your friend or loved one is currently getting treatment or hasn’t received a formal diagnosis, it’s OK if they’re not OK. Everyone has good and bad days. We all deserve some grace.
Sometimes, they might feel shame if they’re experiencing difficult feelings, so it might help to remind them that it’s OK to feel that way. Making it safe for them to express and sit with their real feelings in your presence can go a long way.
And just because right now is bad doesn’t mean later will be.
‘You’re not alone’
It’s easy to feel isolated if you have depression. Due to stigma, many people still don’t talk about mental health issues, which might lead your friend or loved one to feel even more alone.
You can remind your loved one that you’re here for them, and that depression is a very common mental health condition — many people experience it and have gotten through it.
If the person you care about thinks it might help to talk with others who are going through similar things, you could even help them find a support group.
‘You can move forward in the face of your depression’
Some people believe that having depression makes them “weak” or “broken.” The truth is that every day they get out of bed, go to work, or move forward while living with depression is proof of their ability to keep going.
Depression can feel like a weight on your chest. For some people, it can be a disability.
However, every day that someone keeps going while they’re living with depression is proof they can keep going.
‘I’m here for you, no matter what’
If your friend or loved one is feeling like they’re a burden or unworthy of your love, it can help to remind them that you’re going to be there for them, always — not just when things are going well.
‘Help is available’
When someone feels hopeless, it can seem like nothing will help relieve their symptoms.
But so many depression treatments exist, so reminding the person you care about of this and helping them seek help if they need it can make a huge difference.
‘Your story isn’t over’
If your friend or loved one is having suicidal thoughts, they may feel like there’s no point to living or that their life is already over.
But every day is another page in their story. While it may feel dark and hopeless at times — not to mention hard to remember the bright moments — there are good days coming and things to look forward to.
If you believe they’re considering suicide or self-harm
- See a list of Psych Central’s suicide prevention resources.
- Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text 838255.
- Call 911 if you think there’s an immediate danger, but be sure to tell them it’s a mental health crisis in case they have available crisis intervention officers.
- If you’re with them, stay until help arrives. Remove any weapons or substances from your surroundings that could cause harm. If you’re not there, stay on the phone until help arrives.
- Listen but don’t judge, argue, yell, or threaten.
Whether you share these with your friend or write them on sticky notes to leave around their home, some of these uplifting quotes could bring a little hope and brightness to a loved one with depression.
There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.John Green
One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.Brené Brown
If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.Fred Rogers
It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop.Confucius
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.Albert Einstein
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.Buddha
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.Alexander Graham Bell
It is never too late to be what you might have been.George Eliot
And if today all you did was hold yourself together, I’m proud of you.Anonymous
There’s no right thing to say to someone with depression. There are a number of ways you can encourage your friend, with or without words.
Here are some other ways you can support someone living with depression:
- Listen to them. Use active listening. Do not interrupt when they tell you about what they’re going through. Only offer advice if they ask for it.
- Stay in touch. Call, text, or visit with them in person regularly if you can. They may find it hard to reach out to you or others.
- Praise them. Tasks you might find easy may feel monumental to the person you care about who’s living with depression. Recognizing their efforts and offering genuine praise can make them feel good about the work they’re doing and what they’ve accomplished.
- Use empathetic body language. Your tone, facial expressions, and body language matter just as much as your words. For example, relax your hands on your lap instead of keeping your arms folded, make eye contact, and move your eyebrows to show empathy. Avoid body language that might seem defensive, aggressive, or disapproving.
- Tell them what they mean to you. You may want to comment on ways they’ve helped you in the past, what your friendship means to them, and how they’ve made a difference in your life.
- Support them in seeking help. Whether your person chooses to see a doctor for a diagnosis or find a therapist, you can offer to make a call, go with them to their appointment, or search online for a local therapist for them.
- Avoid toxic positivity. Telling someone with depression to just think positively, using generic platitudes like “Everything will be OK,” or focusing only on the good can be more alienating than helpful. While positive thinking can have benefits, it’s a lot easier said than done.
Remember that, at the end of the day, if someone you care about is experiencing depression, you can’t control how they’ll respond to your encouragement. Even if they appreciate your words, it might take them some time to recover, so try to be patient.
Simply being there with an open mind, practicing active listening, and offering your consistent support can make a huge difference.
15 Encouraging Things to Say to Someone with Depression
It can be tough finding the right thing to say to someone close who has depression. We’ve put together meaningful options for support.
Depression often makes us feel we’re worthless, like there’s no point to anything, or that we’re unlovable. This is far from the truth, but that can be hard to explain to someone who’s living with depression.
If you want to comfort a friend or loved one who has depression but you feel stuck, consider using these words of encouragement to connect with and support them.
Depression can affect anyone. In fact, around 280 million people live with depression, according to the World Health Organization.
Depression doesn’t look or feel the same to everyone. There are different causes, types, and symptoms that make each person’s experience unique.
Some common characteristics of depression include:
- feelings of hopelessness
- negative thoughts about yourself and the world
- difficulty functioning and doing typical daily activities
- sleep or appetite changes
If you know someone with depression, providing them encouragement, motivation, and support can go a long way to giving them hope and helping them get through difficult times.
Here are some phrases and ideas that might help you support a person you care about who has depression.
When you’re using these, it can help to stay mindful of your context. Only say something if it feels like it makes sense in the situation, and always be genuine and keep an open mind.
Listen and be sensitive to the person’s cues. If they don’t seem receptive, consider trying at a different time or taking a different approach.
‘It’s OK to not feel OK’
Whether your friend or loved one is currently getting treatment or hasn’t received a formal diagnosis, it’s OK if they’re not OK. Everyone has good and bad days. We all deserve some grace.
Sometimes, they might feel shame if they’re experiencing difficult feelings, so it might help to remind them that it’s OK to feel that way. Making it safe for them to express and sit with their real feelings in your presence can go a long way.
And just because right now is bad doesn’t mean later will be.
‘You’re not alone’
It’s easy to feel isolated if you have depression. Due to stigma, many people still don’t talk about mental health issues, which might lead your friend or loved one to feel even more alone.
You can remind your loved one that you’re here for them, and that depression is a very common mental health condition — many people experience it and have gotten through it.
If the person you care about thinks it might help to talk with others who are going through similar things, you could even help them find a support group.
‘You can move forward in the face of your depression’
Some people believe that having depression makes them “weak” or “broken. ” The truth is that every day they get out of bed, go to work, or move forward while living with depression is proof of their ability to keep going.
Depression can feel like a weight on your chest. For some people, it can be a disability.
However, every day that someone keeps going while they’re living with depression is proof they can keep going.
‘I’m here for you, no matter what’
If your friend or loved one is feeling like they’re a burden or unworthy of your love, it can help to remind them that you’re going to be there for them, always — not just when things are going well.
‘Help is available’
When someone feels hopeless, it can seem like nothing will help relieve their symptoms.
But so many depression treatments exist, so reminding the person you care about of this and helping them seek help if they need it can make a huge difference.
‘Your story isn’t over’
If your friend or loved one is having suicidal thoughts, they may feel like there’s no point to living or that their life is already over.
But every day is another page in their story. While it may feel dark and hopeless at times — not to mention hard to remember the bright moments — there are good days coming and things to look forward to.
If you believe they’re considering suicide or self-harm
- See a list of Psych Central’s suicide prevention resources.
- Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text 838255.
- Call 911 if you think there’s an immediate danger, but be sure to tell them it’s a mental health crisis in case they have available crisis intervention officers.
- If you’re with them, stay until help arrives. Remove any weapons or substances from your surroundings that could cause harm. If you’re not there, stay on the phone until help arrives.
- Listen but don’t judge, argue, yell, or threaten.
Whether you share these with your friend or write them on sticky notes to leave around their home, some of these uplifting quotes could bring a little hope and brightness to a loved one with depression.
There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.John Green
One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.Brené Brown
If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.Fred Rogers
It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop.Confucius
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.Albert Einstein
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.Buddha
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.Alexander Graham Bell
It is never too late to be what you might have been.George Eliot
And if today all you did was hold yourself together, I’m proud of you.Anonymous
There’s no right thing to say to someone with depression. There are a number of ways you can encourage your friend, with or without words.
Here are some other ways you can support someone living with depression:
- Listen to them. Use active listening. Do not interrupt when they tell you about what they’re going through. Only offer advice if they ask for it.
- Stay in touch. Call, text, or visit with them in person regularly if you can. They may find it hard to reach out to you or others.
- Praise them. Tasks you might find easy may feel monumental to the person you care about who’s living with depression. Recognizing their efforts and offering genuine praise can make them feel good about the work they’re doing and what they’ve accomplished.
- Use empathetic body language. Your tone, facial expressions, and body language matter just as much as your words. For example, relax your hands on your lap instead of keeping your arms folded, make eye contact, and move your eyebrows to show empathy. Avoid body language that might seem defensive, aggressive, or disapproving.
- Tell them what they mean to you. You may want to comment on ways they’ve helped you in the past, what your friendship means to them, and how they’ve made a difference in your life.
- Support them in seeking help. Whether your person chooses to see a doctor for a diagnosis or find a therapist, you can offer to make a call, go with them to their appointment, or search online for a local therapist for them.
- Avoid toxic positivity. Telling someone with depression to just think positively, using generic platitudes like “Everything will be OK,” or focusing only on the good can be more alienating than helpful. While positive thinking can have benefits, it’s a lot easier said than done.
Remember that, at the end of the day, if someone you care about is experiencing depression, you can’t control how they’ll respond to your encouragement. Even if they appreciate your words, it might take them some time to recover, so try to be patient.
Simply being there with an open mind, practicing active listening, and offering your consistent support can make a huge difference.
Phrases worth saying to a depressed person
A depressed person or in a long-term depressed state requires a special attitude and a special way of communication from us. The form in which we address the sufferer plays a crucial role in this case. Coping with your condition is often impossible alone, and if you really want and are ready to help your loved one, use the hint, it's not so difficult!
1. Is there anything I can do to ease your condition? nine0006
Showing something is not the same as just saying something. Words are not all that can help a depressed person. As a rule, any offer that comes as a "lifeline" is more like a "magic kick". Organic apples? Yoga? All of them are perceived in approximately the same way: "You do something terrible in life, and it's your fault."
What will be much more comfortable to hear from a loved one or friend when you can’t live actively on your own, for example, an offer to help clean the house or an invitation to a cozy restaurant (specific name, date) for lunch or dinner. This may sound like a pampered, self-absorbed child, but don't be afraid to wish such suggestions for those who struggle with the hormones of sadness. Why not help a person in this difficult struggle? nine0003
2. What do you think might help you feel a little better?
In many ways adults remain like small children; If you tell your child to stop eating Skittles because they give you those nasty pimples on your cheeks, it probably won't stop him from stuffing another six in his mouth. This wording of the question leaves a person free to decide on his own. It’s as if you are turning to his “inner assistant”, who in fact always knows what is best. nine0003
3. Is there anything I can do for you?
Again, as in the first point, effective communication is not just said, but done. Even if the crying person just silently shakes his head in response to your question, I assure you: he will hear your offer, and it will already become some support in itself.
4. Can I give you a lift somewhere?
Few people know that depressed people are bad drivers. In fact, they are VERY bad drivers. Medical staff can confirm that driving style can be a good diagnostic of mood disorders. So, perhaps your help can be important not only for a depressed loved one, but also for other people on the road. nine0003
5. Where do you find the most support?
There is a big difference between "Why don't you join a psychotherapy group for depression?" and “You need support. Let's find out what it could be." Do not let your questions sound like an accusation of laziness.
6. You won't always feel this way.
This is the perfect phrase that I would like to hear fifty times a day when I was ready to get out of this world forever. These words do not blame, do not pressure, do not manipulate. What they do is give hope, which keeps a person alive and motivates him to wait for the next day. nine0003
7. What do you think contributed to your depression?
This is a very mild form of expression for the thought: "Your marriage is absolutely destructive to you, you fool!" or “Don’t you think that your witch colleague is too often in a bad mood and pushes you for nothing?” It is better that a person even by the method of "poke" come to some kind of his own conclusions. In addition, in the future, this will deprive him of a reason to lay responsibility for the negative consequences of some of his actions on you. nine0003
8. What time of the day is the hardest for you?
This is one of the best questions. Most often, depression is especially felt in the morning, upon awakening (“Oh, horror, I'm still alive”), and between about three and four in the afternoon, when the level of sugar in the body drops and the level of anxiety rises sharply. The person does not immerse you in the details of his blues, but simply indicates when he needs additional participation and support.
9. I'm here for you. nine0006
It's easy. It's warm. And this means at once everything that a person needs to hear from you: I care about you, I accept it; I can't fully understand your condition, but I love and support you.
10. Nothing.
This is perhaps the most difficult. Because we are used to filling silence, it frightens with a seeming emptiness. Frightened by emptiness, we begin to talk about anything, even the weather. It's also important to be able to listen. Listening to a person, you take what he gives you, and for a depressed person it is already a lot to give something to someone. Sometimes just listening carefully to what you are being told means more than understanding the content. Because full attention is a priceless thing that can work wonders. nine0003
Based on contributions from Teresa Borschard, who suffers from chronic depression and author of the project and book Beyond Blues: Escape Depression and Anxiety and Harness the Best of the Bad Genes. ( Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes )
( http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/beyondblue/ )
3 Things Not to Say to a Depressed Person
Of course you are you will not deliberately insult people who are in a bad mood, and even more so in depression. Most likely, you will want to say something pleasant and encouraging - only now, hearing such “encouraging”, a person will only feel worse. nine0003
“He already knows that he is uncomfortable, uncomfortable in communication,” says counseling psychologist Anthony Smith. “You do not understand and cannot understand what he is feeling now. Therefore, your good intentions and positive phrases will only lead to alienation.
“What makes you depressed?”
For the most part, people mistakenly believe that depression is always “from something”, that such a state is a reaction to some circumstances. The truth is that depression is an uninvited guest that appears without warning. Yes, life circumstances can serve as a catalyst, but much more often a person himself will not be able to explain why he was “covered” like that. nine0003
“Even if a person is depressed because of some event in life, one should not ask the reasons for such a state,” says the psychologist. - You can try to understand the situation or “look at things in perspective”, but it turns out as if you are hinting: the interlocutor is so stupid that he allowed himself to be overwhelmed by emotions. I'm sorry, but we don't have a 'switch' or 'reset button' for a bad mood. "
According to the expert, any problematic basic "scheme" can cause a depressive episode. A trigger ingrained from childhood. For example, your loved one is sure that he always does everything wrong. And every mistake (and they happen to anyone) is for him a confirmation of his own inferiority. And answer you with a couple of phrases to the question “Where do you get depression from?” he can not. nine0003
“Just don’t worry” or “Think of something good”
“It’s doubtful that a depressed person, having heard the sentence “just don’t think about the bad”, would say to himself: “Wow, why was it possible ?“ says Anthony Smith. “Believe me, if it were so easy to get out of this state, such patients would be happy to do it already.”
"Think about something good" is another pointless advice. "Happy thoughts" will only complicate the situation, because they are associated with periods when a person was not depressed. nine0003
“While negative thought patterns are definitely associated with depression, attempts to change thoughts arising from neurovegetative/cognitive effects (such as lethargy, agitation, sleep and appetite problems, and inability to focus) are futile,” emphasizes the specialist.