Do all men masturbate
How Often Men Masturbate: What's Healthy vs. "Too Much"
How often men masturbate.
Some men masturbate weekly, some men masturbate daily, some masturbate a few times a month, and still others hardly masturbate at all. All of these masturbation frequencies are considered within the normal range for men.
Here's how often men between ages 25 and 29 masturbate, according to 2009 data from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, as collected by FiveThirtyEight:
- 17% had not masturbated in the past year
- 15% masturbate a few times per year to monthly
- 25% masturbate a few times per month to weekly
- 23% masturbate 2 to 3 times per week
- 20% masturbate more than 4 times per week
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In comparison, a 2008 study1 of British people between ages 16 and 44 found 73% of men had masturbated in the past four weeks, compared to 37% of women. (Here's our guide to how often women should masturbate, for reference.)
"There is a ton of variation in how much people masturbate, and it fluctuates throughout our lives due to things like health, stress, schedule, desire, partnerships with others, and so forth," sex and relationship therapist Shadeen Francis, LMFT, tells mbg.
How often you should masturbate.
"There is no set standard for frequency of masturbation," board-certified urologist Jamin Brahmbhatt, M.D., tells mbg. "Daily, weekly, monthly...it's personal preference."
Masturbation is a common and very low-risk habit, and in fact, masturbation comes with many health benefits. In general, people should masturbate as often as it feels good for them. "You should masturbate whenever you want to and have the time and privacy to do so," Francis says. "Pleasure is healthy."
A 2016 study found men who ejaculate 21 times a month or more were significantly less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer, compared to people who ejaculated four to seven times per month. That isn't to say everyone must masturbate that often; it's just a signal that regular masturbation can be beneficial to overall health.
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Can you masturbate too much?
In general, most people don't have to worry about masturbating too much. Of course, even healthy habits can become unhealthy if done in excess or in extremes, and that's as true for masturbation as it is for habits like exercise and hand-washing. How much masturbation is too much will vary from person to person.
"There is no objective measure of how much anyone should masturbate," Francis explains. "Your health is an individual consideration. If your masturbation habits are causing you mental, emotional, relational, or physical distress, that is an indicator that you may be masturbating more than is currently healthy for you."
Here are a few signs your current masturbation habits may not be serving you, according to Francis:
- Masturbation feels like a need instead of a choice.
- Masturbation no longer feels pleasurable due to pain, numbness, or a loss of pleasing sensations.
- Your masturbation is interfering with your ability to have a satisfying sex life with partners.
- You're struggling to keep up with your responsibilities or daily life because of how often you masturbate.
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In general, there's no set amount of masturbation that's considered "too much" across the board. Some people masturbate several times a day without any negative consequences. If a person is satisfied with how often they masturbate and doesn't feel like it negatively affects other parts of their life, then that's the right amount of masturbation for them.
What happens if you jerk off every day?
"There are no known downsides or major side effects to daily masturbation," Brahmbhatt says. The same goes for daily ejaculation and daily sex, he adds.
The biggest risks of frequent masturbation have more to do with how a person masturbates than how often they do it, Francis explains. For example, she notes there's a chance of tissue damage or skin irritation if a person masturbates really vigorously without enough lubrication. (Soreness, tenderness, swelling, or bruising would be signs if this were the case, she adds.)
A person can also get used to a particular type of stimulation or stroke. "If a person enjoys masturbating in a specific routinized way (e.g., always sitting in a chair, or to pornography, or with a tight fist) and only masturbates in that way, they may notice difficulty maintaining their [erection] or reaching orgasm in partnered sex if it doesn't mirror what they do when they're alone," Francis explains. "To avoid this potential risk, men can try switching things up every so often in their masturbation practice, and they also could add in some of their solo play activities to partnered sex!"
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Can you run out of sperm?
You cannot run out of sperm from frequent masturbation. Adults with penises produce new sperm every single day and will continue to do so their entire lives, barring any medical complications.
If you're currently trying to conceive and begin a pregnancy, masturbation can affect sperm count and quality. As Brahmbhatt explains, if you've recently ejaculated, your next ejaculation may have a lower volume of fluid, a lower sperm count, and a lower concentration of sperm because your body may not have had enough time to build back its sperm (and sperm fluids) just yet.
"When patients have to give us a semen sample, we ask them to refrain from ejaculation for two days prior to giving us a sample," he notes. "If you have a normal system, you should always have some sperm in your ejaculate, even if you have emptied five times in one day. You may just not have a high count of sperm."
Benefits of masturbation.
- Stress relief
- Improved mood
- Increased energy
- Higher pain tolerance
- Reduced risk of prostate cancer
- Relieving period cramps
- Improved pelvic floor strength
- Improved sleep
- Can improve libido
- Can help people with penises last longer during subsequent partnered sex
Benefits of not masturbating.
Some people choose not to masturbate for personal, spiritual, or religious reasons. "Some feel controlling their desire to masturbate helps their mental focus and other aspects of their life," Brahmbhatt explains.
For some people, some potential benefits of not masturbating may include:
- More self-control
- More self-awareness
- Better sperm quality in your next ejaculation
- May make it easier for people with penises to reach orgasm during partnered sex if they haven't ejaculated recently
- May be linked to increased testosterone, according to some studies2
Abstaining from masturbation can be part of semen retention, a spiritual sexual practice wherein people avoid ejaculation because they believe semen is a source of "life force energy."
The bottom line.
There's a lot of variety when it comes to how often men masturbate. Some men masturbate daily or more, others masturbate rarely or never, and still many others fall somewhere in between.
In general, masturbation is a healthy, safe, and normal habit, and most people don't have to worry about masturbating "too much." If your masturbation habits are causing you any physical or emotional trouble, reach out to a professional who can help. You may also want to consider adjusting your masturbation frequency if you're trying to conceive, to last longer in bed, or to reach orgasm more easily. Otherwise, whatever feels good to you probably is good for you.
Read more stellar mbg stories:
Questions About Male Masturbation - What to Know About Masturbating
It’s hard not to be at least a little curious about what goes on when guys masturbate. Whether it’s because it’s done in the privacy of their own spaces or because it just seems kinda foreign compared to the way women masturbate, the whole process leaves us with a lot of questions. Thankfully, this is a safe space, and we’ve got answers to ALL your pressing (and not-so-pressing) questions about male masturbation habits thisaway.
Do guys ever try to suck their own dick?
Some guys who can, do. But as one friend of mine (who can) pointed out, it’s less about masturbation for him and more like a circus trick to be performed in front of others. Contorting your whole body that way every single time you want to get off would get tiring (and the risk of injury is potentially too high to be worth it).
Do guys normally always jizz the same amount? Do they ever notice if their jizz is less or more that day?
Not usually, unless it’s an abnormally large amount like, say, if he hasn’t masturbated in a while. Think about the fluid you produce when you’re turned on. You don’t typically measure it, but if the quantity produced is so large that it shocks you, yeah, you’ll take note of it.
How common is it for guys to want to stick their finger up their ass while masturbating?
It really depends from person to person. Some guys just *know* they’re ass dudes and love it, others don’t really get into it on their own. Just like female masturbation, there’s no correct or incorrect technique of going about it, as long as it makes you feel good and gets you off.
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How often do men masturbate? A day? A week?
Again, it depends on the person and their individual sex drive. That being said, most men masturbate by habit. Aka every night before going to sleep, on Saturday mornings when they can sleep in, or some other time that’s ritualistic and/or convenient for them.
Do guys ever talk about masturbation with their guy friends? Like how some female friends discuss sex toys?
Most guys don’t. Whether this is due to stigma or cultural stuff or maybe just a lack of fun male sex toys on the market, it’s hard to say.
How often do guys do it purely out of boredom?
It happens, and it’s definitely easy for most guys to think, I’ve got some time to kill, and force themselves to be aroused. More likely, though, it happens when we’re clicking around online or doing whatever and the mood strikes. It’s more like, You know what, I feel like a bag of chips, like, 75 percent of the time and, Man, I guess I’ll see if something is on TV, only about 25 percent of the time.
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Is using a sock actually a thing?
It is. To my knowledge, there hasn’t been a study on what percentage of guys actually use it. Most will just finish in a tissue or catch it with their hand. And most of the time, even guys who are coming in a sock or something are still washing them afterward. But not always. I present to you Reddit’s infamous “cum box” (NSFWork/life, obviously).
Do guys ever use their other hand for extra stimulation? (Like that spot between the shaft and scrotum?)
Sure. There are no hard numbers on how guys masturbate. Surprisingly, no one is pouring funding and research into this topic. But while just using a hand and some lotion is probably the most typical, massaging the perineum and stimulating the prostate are definitely things some guys elect to do.
Speaking of hands, is the “ghost” hand real? Like, do guys ever sit on their hand until it goes numb in order to have it feel like another person?
Guys have probably tried just about everything when it comes to masturbation techniques, especially when puberty rolls up and drives them insane with hormones. So is it real in that guys have tried it? Definitely. Is it real in the sense that it’s a “go-to” technique for a sizable portion of the male population? I can answer this one less confidently, but probably not. There are likely very few people who prefer to masturbate that way versus doing it the old-fashioned way.
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Do guys do it in the shower when we’re in the other room?
Not all the time, but yeah. Guys can have healthy sex lives with you and still masturbate. It just means their sex drive is high.
How do you clean up?
This varies from guy to guy. Cleanup usually involves just washing our hands (with soap, hopefully). If we used lotion, it’ll pretty much be absorbed by the skin, but with lube, we might need to splash some water on our dick. Some will use a tissue, which usually makes cleanup pretty painless. And this is really, really rare, but some guys will even use a condom.
Do guys use anything besides their hand?
Toys like the Fleshlight definitely sell, but most guys won’t admit to using them. However, I can pretty much guarantee that any kid who grew up with the internet tried to make one of these warm-water-bag-glove-lotion hybrids. Because 15-year-old boys will literally fuck a bag. Most guys just use their hand though. Most convenient.
Do guys ever accidentally ejaculate on themselves?
Yeah, even the most careful and prudent of masturbators will occasionally have to deal with errant semen. Either you don’t ready yourself in time or you don’t quite cover the head of the penis and the semen goes flying. Honestly, if it lands on us, we’re lucky. Otherwise, we’ve got to set up one of those CSI ballistics kits to figure out where it might have landed.
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Do guys think about their girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/partner when they masturbate?
Some guys do, but for most guys, this would be a hard no. It really depends on whether or not masturbating to people they know feels weird to them. Some guys have a tough time using their imaginations and need to rely on porn. Others might just want something different during their “special alone time.” Although the term is kind of antiquated, “myspaceterbating” is the act of jerking off to someone’s social media page, so now you know that can happen.
What is the preferred lotion of masturbators everywhere?
I don’t want to call out a specific brand, but really any good hand cream works. A substantial amount of guys go dry though, believe it or not. Some men find it uncomfortable, depending on whether they’re circumcised and how much skin they have around their penis. It’s easier for guys with extra (fore)skin to masturbate dry without uncomfortable friction.
Where do guys masturbate when they want to be stealthy?
Bathroom. This is hopefully the only answer. I don’t want to think about men shamefully masturbating while crouching in their attic or standing there jerking off in a dark garage.
Do guys like to take their time or do they just hit an orgasm as fast as possible?
This is another case where every guy is different, but most men can either feel their orgasm creep up on them and follow through or pace themselves. It’s all about speed versus distance and what we’re feeling in the moment. Some men will hunt around until they find a video they like and commit. Others will click around until they find one they think they can finish to.
Do guys masturbate to porn because that’s what they want their sex lives to be like?
I really hope not. Everyone’s been there once or twice (or 90 times), where you’re just like, What the hell did I just masturbate to? Arousal lowers our inhibitions, and what turns us on also doesn’t mean it’s necessarily what we want to experience personally. Plus, don’t forget that most porn is still directed with the viewer in mind, not the pleasure of both participants.
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Do guys ever smell/taste their own jizz?
I was going to say this is hard to answer, but fuck it. The answer is yes. At some point, a guy has thought, How do girls do this? and gently touched their tongue to it. There are two kinds of guys: guys who tried it once and liars.
Can guys get off without being fully hard?
Not really, no. You don’t always need to have the biggest and best boner you’ve ever had, but you’re not going to be able to rub one out flaccid.
When watching porn and masturbating, do guys have to try not to orgasm immediately?
Typically, no, unless they have a condition that would cause them to be prone to premature ejaculation. But beyond a literal immediate orgasm, every guy is going to run out his masturbation clock differently. Some might try to crank it out as quickly as possible with whatever is on the front page of some porn site. Some might take their time with a series of preselected videos. Others might take it as a personal challenge to see exactly how long they can last. But just like with sex, it’s not as if being sexually stimulated automatically means he needs to fight the urge to orgasm.
Have most guys tried sticking their dick in food?
This is another purely anecdotal answer, but I’d be very surprised if a considerable number of guys hadn’t at least tried to use something other than their hands to masturbate, with varying degrees of success. If it can be penetrated in some way, some horny pioneer has made an attempt. There are people out there who have sex with couches and plenty of other things that weren’t intended to have someone inside them and/or be inside someone. Plus, when American Pie came out, I’m pretty sure a lot of warm pastries got thrown in the trash, smashed up and uneaten. But to be clear, “tried it once” and having half their monthly grocery bill consist of fuck-able foods are two different things.
This post was originally published in 2016 and has been updated.
I am a human male that enjoys consuming meals consisting of all five food groups and fulfilling every level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I write about sex-having.
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.
reasons that men and specialists themselves say
You wake up in the morning and realize that your boyfriend, who is lying next to you in bed, is engaged in self-satisfaction. Do you want to tell him: “Baby, what about me”? And in general, how to behave in such a situation and why do men masturbate in general, even if they are in a relationship?
intimate life nine0003
According to statistics, about 80 percent of men and almost 50 percent of women masturbate. In fact, the numbers are higher. Today we are not talking about women. But they are often concerned with the question: why do men like to masturbate? And when they notice their boyfriend masturbating, they begin to worry themselves: “My boyfriend is no longer interested in me, he doesn’t like sex with me!”
Why do men often masturbate? Yes, if only because men and women perceive sex differently Men can do this to relieve stress, and women can do it to find harmony with their partner. 0003
But why does he masturbate, instead of waking up a living, beloved and seemingly usually desired girl sleeping next to him?
Because ... wants to masturbate
"I confess, I have this sexual fantasy: the girl woke up, caught me and ... joined!" Roman (25)
Why do guys masturbate? one of the erotic fantasies that they do not dare to say out loud. But if the girl herself is not averse to taking the initiative and starting first, such a process can diversify intimate life. And most importantly, it will allow you to be closer to each other, show more trust.
“This happened to me during the preparation for the case - when I planned to wake the girl up with sex or cunnilingus. But in the process I got carried away, with whom it does not happen. Another possible reason is that the girl herself is a sexual fantasy. It's nice to look at her, it's nice to dream about her. In any case, such a situation is a manifestation of a man's trust in a woman. If I didn’t trust, I went to the bathroom. So not "Why didn't you wake me up?!" but "Do you mind if I join?" Valery (28)
Masturbation as self-love
In Holland, for example, masturbation is considered extremely important. There is even a Rotterdam Center for Self-Satisfaction, where self-love is studied as a science. Students are taught theory and applied disciplines, such as "Masturbation and aesthetic pleasure" or "Contemplation of natural landscapes during masturbation." Why do men masturbate? In this country, such a piquant topic became the subject of research by scientists who saw important psychological aspects in male self-satisfaction. There is no other country in the world with such concern for men's health. nine0003
Because ... cares
Why do men want to masturbate? As ironic as it may sound, sometimes they do it out of love and respect for their partner. And what if she has “those days” and she definitely doesn’t have time for sex, but a man needs a release? That's when they, too, can resort to self-satisfaction.
“If a wife runs so much during the day that she is unlikely to be able to fully indulge in sex at night, I won’t wake her up. But if it's not, I try to stir it up. Soft". nine0027 Marat (29)
Male animals also masturbate. Porcupines in a state of sexual arousal walk on three legs, and the fourth is kept on the genitals. An elephant stimulates a semi-erect penis with its trunk. Even if self-satisfaction is inherent in animals by nature, then what can we say about people. It is not always possible to find bad sides in this process. Sometimes a man, being in a relationship, satisfies himself for the sake of taking care of his beloved. nine0003
Because ... has the right to masturbate
“For men, masturbation is an expression of freedom: he wanted to have sex with his woman, he wanted to have sex with himself. If a girl often reproaches him for this (they say, you have me!), She may lose her beloved. Don't encroach on our rights!" Eugene (27)
Masturbation is a legal right
According to the definition of the World Health Organization, masturbation is "the legal right of a person to give himself pleasure and dispose of his own body." Therefore, before asking the question: "Why do men want to masturbate?", remember that everyone has the right to dispose of his body and his desires. nine0003
Because...wants to relieve stress quickly
“Masturbation is a way to relieve stress. And quite energy-intensive: no need to involve the girl, think about her pleasure, puff and move. It's just you, your hand, and here it is - detente. Igor (32)
Why do men masturbate? Yes, the representatives of the stronger sex have such a feature. They can relieve stress in two ways - sex or alcohol. Everyone chooses what he likes. In favor of self-satisfaction is the fact that he requires less various costs from a man. There is no need to persuade a woman to have intimacy, create a suitable atmosphere, waste time on foreplay. I just went to the toilet, took out my "unit", a few minutes and the discharge was received. nine0003
“It's faster and sometimes more enjoyable, especially if you're tired, than having sex. He jerked the shutter and with a sense of satisfaction (including moral) - to sleep! But just “masturbating a girl” (waking her up for an erection) is much more disrespectful. Michael (31)
Millions of people masturbate
Don't be surprised when you wonder why a man masturbates. In fact, 50 million people masturbate every second in the world! And if you saw your boyfriend in the process of self-satisfaction, just mentally write in this list of perfectly normal people who needed a quick discharge at that moment. nine0003
Because ...likes and/or is lazy
“I often masturbate when my partner is asleep. Often after sex. Why? Yes, because I love doing it. For no particular reason." Gennady, (27)
Why do men masturbate even when in a relationship with the woman they love. Simply because they enjoy the process. And they see no other reasons for masturbation.
“Do you want to be honest? Sometimes too lazy to strain. Sex is more than an hour, and then you still need to wash, smoke. And get up early for work. And not all women like being woken up.” nine0027 Denis (32)
Men in relationships often masturbate
Men in stable relationships masturbate more often than women in relationships. Why do men masturbate? The answers are above. You should not make a big deal out of molehills when the partner's relationship is still strong and he talks about his love. He likes self-satisfaction, which means that he considers it necessary for his body.
Because... the girl refused
It happened to me when a girl refused sex. She lies all so beautiful, half asleep and absolutely uninterested in my erection. Well, what to do? Just masturbate! Kirill, (31)
Why do men want to masturbate? But this is the very case when the reason may be in the woman herself. She showed no interest in her partner, turned out to be not interested in intimacy, rudely responded to his offer to have sex. And the guy has nothing left but self-satisfaction. nine0003
A woman rarely wants sex so-and-so, that she is ready to sacrifice sleep and a rested appearance in the morning, but a man - easily. Well, since she refused and is sleeping, then I will be alone with myself. Maxim, (27)
Masturbation as a threat to relationships
Why does a man masturbate? Because he lacks intimacy, tenderness, care, attention and corny - sex. Sexual dissatisfaction can be a serious threat to a relationship. Experts put this reason on a par with psychological incompatibility, which, according to statistics, most often leads to divorce. nine0003
"The reason is simple: I had an erection, but I didn't wake up the miracle that was sniffing nearby." Andrey (37 )
But if a partner often refuses offers of sex, a man may start thinking about what he can find himself and another woman.
Why does a man masturbate: what do women say
How do girls react when they find their beloved doing an interesting activity? They... are silent. Why a guy masturbates remains a mystery to her. She begins to imagine that he has another, he has taken a mistress. But the lack of knowledge of how to be in such a situation creates an awkward situation. And women are really just silent and don't know how to behave. nine0003
Women are silent
“When I realized that my husband lying next to me was masturbating, I wanted to. .. joke. But she resisted, remembering that laughter and sex are not always compatible. I waited for him to finish and fell asleep." Tatyana, (26)
I convinced myself that it seemed to me. After all, it can't be that he masturbates instead of waking me up! Especially since we just went to bed.” Ekaterina, (24)
When a guy masturbates, women join the process
“I am absolutely calm about the fact that my man masturbates - it means that at the moment he has chosen this type of pleasure. I also have different desires. And if I want, I can just join.” Ekaterina, (23)
“I think the best option in such a situation is to help my MCH, as much as I have enough vigor (I’m awake!) and imagination.” Lina, (24)
Fortunately, many women are able to understand their partner and avoid unnecessary questions: “Why does my boyfriend masturbate?” nine0003
“I was a bit taken aback when I found him masturbating. But she did not think of anything, but simply asked why. He honestly answered that he woke up from sexual arousal, began to pester me, but I refused through a dream, and he didn’t go to the bathroom, because it’s more pleasant to do this when there is a half-naked beloved nearby. After this frank conversation, we had great sex. And now, when he suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night, he always wakes me up.” nine0027 Tatyana, (27)
And sometimes a right and timely question, as well as an honest answer to it, allows a couple to become closer. Why a man masturbates - found out. Found the reasons. And got rid of them.
“I don't mind. And I even admit that he, lying next to me, fantasizes about the other. The main thing is not to go to this other person in reality. His fantasies are part of his personal space, which cannot be deprived of. Evgeniya, (30)
Why do men masturbate? Yes, sometimes in their fantasies they imagine another woman, for example, a famous actress. But that doesn't mean the guy is cheating.
Happy when a guy masturbates
Why does a guy masturbate? Because he cares about his partner and does not want to wake her up? And why does a woman, noticing him in the process of self-satisfaction, not ask questions? Because she understood without words and does not want to start explaining how terribly tired she was during the day, and that she has no time for sex? nine0003
“I was glad he didn't wake me up. That day I was tired, I was exhausted. Well done for not bothering me." Lika, (30)
“I distinguish between making love for feelings and masturbation for stress relief. It would be unpleasant for me if he woke me not for the sake of love, but for the sake of his desire to "blow off steam." Alena, (29)
They get indignant when a guy masturbates
“I think it’s right to be indignant out loud, but not offend: “Why didn’t you wake me up? You know I always want you!" nine0027 Marina, (22)
Such words are surely pleasant to every man. And to the question - why do men masturbate, there is one answer: because there is not always mutual understanding with their partner.
They answer the same
“We have the opposite. Sometimes it’s me who can’t sleep and pornographic thoughts come into my head. It's a shame to wake up your husband. It would be better if three kingpins fall in love with me in fantasies than I disturb him.” Alina, (27)
Women are not alien to self-satisfaction. If you wonder why guys masturbate, it can be redirected to girls too, because women do it too. nine0003
Scientific causes of male masturbation
Why does a man masturbate? Sexologist Valery Saltykov believes that the absolute number of sexually mature men are prone to self-satisfaction, and they do it if possible, and not at will, as is commonly believed. And he adds that a man will begin to masturbate even if he has two permanent sexual partners. Either a low sexual need or religious taboos can make him neglect self-satisfaction. nine0003
Alena August, psychotherapist, VIP coach, says: “I can say one thing for sure: no one should worry, but you can and should think about why this is happening. Why does a man masturbate and when should you worry about it?
1. It should be remembered that masturbation for a man is an easy way to relieve stress. Why is he not doing this with his beloved? Because a girl needs kisses and caresses, assurances of feelings and gentle words, an aura and an atmosphere. Masturbation, on the other hand, guarantees an "ambulance" without candles, roses and champagne. That's why guys masturbate even when they have a regular partner. nine0003
1. Sex with a partner and other ways of satisfaction coexist perfectly in the mind and life of a man. And here, believe me, we are not talking about competition. Love is love, and the desire to experience an orgasm is a separate issue. Why does a man masturbate? Everything is simple - for the sake of orgasm.
3. A girl who finds herself in such a situation not for the first time should honestly answer the questions, how long ago did you have sex, is it varied, has it lost its sharpness. It is also not superfluous to look from the outside at your life together: is it overgrown with routine and boredom. Why does a man masturbate? Because your sex life has become boring, monotonous and uninteresting. nine0003
Be sure to talk to your loved one about his expectations and dreams, doubts and claims. Be ready to hear criticism and remember that talking personal with your partner is a sign of respect and trust. And together you can make intimate - and not only - life richer and brighter.
Recorded by Olga Cherednichenko
Photo: GETTY IMAGES/FOTOBANK.RU
10 reasons why a husband engages in masturbation
Sex for a man and a woman are completely different things. Roughly speaking, for him this is the ordinary prose of Leo Tolstoy, and for her it is the intimate lyrics of Sergei Yesenin. If for a man sex is just a way to discharge in a busy rhythm of work and rest (this is actually true, sometimes more energy is spent on a match of your favorite team than a month of work), then for a woman sex is a way to find harmony and plunge into a whirlpool passion, writes malina-mix.com. nine0003
Therefore, by and large, feelings are not important for a man - his passion is not born in the head that is on his shoulders. And if there are exceptions, they, for the most part, end as quickly as they are born. Of course, you can argue, but it's true.
According to statistics, 80% of men and 50% of women masturbate. In reality, the numbers are higher. Let's not talk about the beautiful half - this is a topic for a completely different article, but about men ...
And they masturbate not only in the absence of a partner, but also in the presence of a wife (girlfriend). Why? We can highlight 10 reasons for this behavior, as well as find out what to do if your loved one “betrays” you in this way. nine0003
A man can relieve stress in two ways - get drunk or have sex. Moreover, the second is possible in two versions: with a woman or with his own hand. Everyone, of course, chooses what is closer to him. In favor of masturbation, the factor of less effort and energy can play: I went to the toilet, took out the unit, a few minutes - and there was no stress.
Here purely physiological moments play their part. With nervous excitement, the flow of blood increases and an erection occurs. nine0003
What if your loved one does this? Try to carefully explain to him that you understand him perfectly: his work is stressful, and you will be happy to help him forget about them.
Show that you do not care about your own pleasure, but about how to make him feel good. Otherwise, a man will simply get used to masturbation, and with the help of it he will not only relieve stress. Masturbation will completely replace you!
Wife became uninteresting
After marriage, you gained a dozen extra pounds, use cosmetics only when you go to work, walk around the apartment in a greasy bathrobe, take a shower in the morning, and not before bedtime - all this affects your relationship in one way or another. A man still wants sex, but not with you.
Then he will buy erotic magazines and videos, often and for a long time retire to the toilet with a fresh issue of Playboy. Thus, the case can end with infidelity with other women.
To the question “What to do?” - the answer is simple. No need to calm down and cool down. The main reason for adultery and divorce is when the routine absorbs passion and romance.
Moreover, both partners are making efforts towards a similar outcome. One - by his behavior, the other - by silence. Therefore, when a man begins to retire, you should definitely talk to him, find out the reason. And if it is in you, then you need to urgently change something in yourself.
Lack of sex
In general, quite a rare occurrence. Usually a woman does not have enough sex: a man, having done his job, turns away to the wall and sleeps, and a woman sometimes reaches an orgasm on her own. But the opposite also happens: when a man wants every day, and his wife only from time to time. Of course, when you really want to, but you can’t, you still somehow need to exist. So the solution is masturbation.
At first you don't notice it, then you start guessing. And when you suddenly find him doing this, you are embarrassed. You cannot ask him about the reasons for this behavior, and he is uncomfortable even starting this topic. nine0003
Therefore, if you understand that you are not satisfying a man, try to give him more pleasure, use other positions, lubricants (for example, a lubricant to increase the duration of sex).
If you have sex in a missionary position or in a position where a woman makes almost no active movements, shifting all the stress to her partner, then the man will be more tired and the effect of sex will be greater.
I don't feel like exerting myself
Or, in other words, simple laziness can be the reason for masturbation. For the most part, sex for a man is really just an induction-withdrawal process and nothing more. Therefore, such a man thinks, why strain to give more pleasure to his partner than to himself, if you can just masturbate? nine0003
In the end, after such “sex” you don't need to see anyone off and hug – you can even safely roll over and fall asleep: no one will say a word.
The reason for this behavior is psychological, so it is rather difficult to correct it. Unless to explain in practice that no masturbation will replace him with sex with you.
Finally, make sure that he understands the basic rule of sex - the main thing is that you both feel good. Only if he realizes this will he begin to change. And if not, then he will continue to be an egoist, with whom it is hardly necessary to continue relations. nine0003
Cannot get satisfaction from sex
Psychological problem again. Moreover, it’s just a fiction that there is no pleasure from sex, but there is from masturbation. The reasons are quite simple: a small penis size, self-doubt, some kind of internal resentment.
All this leads to isolation, obsession with one's own inferiority, and, ultimately, marriage to the first woman who shows sympathy for him and worries about him. nine0003
Being constantly morally “downtrodden”, such a man will not be able to enjoy sex, and the only joy for him will be banal onanism. Whatever the wife does, it will be difficult to change the intimate worldview of her beloved. He will probably remain just as closed and bashful if he does not increase his own self-esteem.
What to do? There are three options. Or try to change something, show him what a good man he is, use new positions, do whatever he wants in bed, or take everything as it is and calm down. Or just break up with such a man. nine0003
Thinks it can make you lose weight
Yes, this is indeed one of the reasons. A friend of mine read somewhere that 5 minutes of masturbation replaces half an hour of training in the gym. And he somehow calculated (based on the kilocalories spent during the “classes”) that if he masturbated three times a day for a month, he would lose 12 kilograms.
Further, more. Since the gym exercises involve a load on different muscles, he rummaged through the Internet and found a practical manual for an onanist. It was written in what positions you need to masturbate in order to simulate anal sex, the position from above, from below, from the side, and the like. nine0003
And, you know, instead of regularly having sex with his girlfriend, he exhausted himself with daily masturbation, expended a lot of energy and ate and drank just as much because of it. In the end, he gained 5 kilos. And signed up for the pool.
Of course, a man who believes in such amazing properties of onanism will not tell his missus what he is actually doing in order to surprise her with his new figure. But at the time of these trainings, he, of course, will not have the strength to satisfy his wife. nine0003
Therefore, it only remains for her to sympathize and advise, if not to convince the unfortunate man of the absurdity of his occupation, then at least somehow wait a certain time until he himself is convinced of the uselessness of masturbation as a means of losing weight.
For him it is in the order of things
The most interesting is this point. The man thinks he should masturbate. Just like eating and drinking. Well, such is his nature, what can you do here? A woman, of course, will not understand this logic. For her, masturbation is already a sign, if not of infidelity, then of her (the woman's) imperfection in the eyes of her husband. Explaining to him that he is wrong is like hammering a nail with a computer. nine0003
Therefore, in this case, use his hobby for the benefit of your relationship. Say that you enjoy watching him masturbate and you will gladly join him. Ultimately, look at it as one of the sex games, incredibly exciting and unusual.
I want another woman, but I don't want to betray
Even if we look at the history of mankind, we see harems in the East and courtesans in the West. Of course, a man who loves his wife and does not want to hurt her will never betray. nine0003
But if he wants something new that his wife cannot give, then he can find a simple way out. You can self-satisfy by looking at a photo or video of the woman he wants - also imagining at that moment what he is doing with her. This is change without change.
It is unlikely that a woman should do anything in this case. A man does not go to the left - why extra troubles? The only negative is that there is a certain probability that he will like such “sex” over time more than normal, or betrayal will become real. nine0003
Urgently wants sex, but no one is around
When a man “wants”, he tries to somehow satisfy his desire. For example, if you go to work before he wakes up, then the husband, feeling a morning erection, can calmly masturbate in the shower, whistling the anthem of his favorite football team. Of course, this is not a trend or a disease, but ordinary incontinence.
Unlike most of the previous cases, there is no point in fighting this. And you don't need to. Such a man is quite confident in himself, he understands that masturbation is temporary. Simply because there is no woman around. And if there is, then he does not need masturbation. nine0003
Masturbation as training
Yes, a teenager masturbates also because in this way he trains for the transition to an adult lifestyle. Some men, when reading manuals on masturbation (there are some, don't be surprised), begin to imitate all sorts of positions. They get used to it so much that they continue to do it as adults. Roughly speaking, such a man tries any novelty on himself, and only then does it with his beloved.