Playing with my hair

Why Do I Play With My Hair? A Psychologist Says It Can Be A Sign Of Anxiety

Lifestyle

You'll be surprised.

By Annakeara Stinson

Updated: June 23, 2021

Originally Published: July 21, 2017

Dom Stuart

Whenever I find myself in a situation that makes me anxious — like a job interview, a tough conversation, or even a date — I have a habit of playing with my hair. I brush it away from my face even when it's already out of my way. I twirl and touch and tug my hair, strand after strand, until dead ends disintegrate between my fingertips. I know I'm not the only one who does this. In fact, a study by Dove reportedly found that women with fine hair touch their hair up to 18 times a day. So, why do we all play with our hair so freaking much?

Does twirling your hair give you a sense of control in situations where you feel like you don't have it? Is it just a mindless habit, something to occupy your hands if you’re feeling restless? Is it an indication of some deeper, psychological need or concern that you might not even realize? Well, that last one’s unlikely, but there’s got to be some underlying reason, right?

To uncover what’s going on in your brain when you play with your hair, Elite Daily spoke with clinical psychologist Matthew Childs, Psy. D., and NYC-based clinical psychologist Rachel Wien, Psy.D., about what this particular body behavior might reveal about a person.

What does it mean to play with and twirl your hair constantly?

The short answer is that playing with your hair can mean a number of different things. Overall, Wien describes the act as “a typical nervous tic or sign of anxiety.” Childs echoes that sentiment. “[Playing with your hair] could speak toward anxiety about appearance or about the way you feel within that situation,” says Childs. In other words, twirling your hair could be your body’s subconscious response to whatever emotions might be brewing beneath the surface.

That said, twirling your hair doesn’t mean something big or scary is going on underneath the surface. It could just reflect some deeper feelings you have about your appearance, according to Childs. “It can also mean the way you relate to your hair, if you consider it a positive or negative physical attribute.”

Can playing with your hair constantly be a sign of anxiety or nervousness?

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According to Wien, it really depends. “Constantly playing with your hair may be mindless, but it also may be a sign of a deeper feeling, such as anxiety, or it may be a tic that feels uncontrollable,” she says.

For example, restlessness is a common symptom of anxiety, as well as a typical result of finding yourself in a situation that’s uncomfortable, nerve-wracking, or frightening. For some, Wien says, hair twirling acts as a way to self-soothe in those types of situations. “It helps us do something with our hands when we are feeling restless or nervous.”

Can playing with your hair be a sign of other things, like flirting?

Playing with your hair constantly certainly does not necessarily mean you’re nervous or anxious or anything negative. Some people just like the sensation of it. “Think about when someone else plays with your hair — it feels good,” says Wien.

You might even find yourself playing with your hair more often when you’re trying to flirt. Say you're talking to someone you find attractive. Playing with your hair might be your subconscious way of showing you care about what that person thinks of your physical appearance. “[You might want] to appeal to that person and communicate that you look good or feel good, and want to elicit some positive feelings from the person you are talking to as well,” says Childs.

It could even be as simple and straightforward as wanting someone to notice your hair. “It draws attention to your hair, which may be one of your best features,” says Wien. “Again, it gives us something to do, making us feel and look less awkward when we are trying to flirt.”

Is playing with your hair too much a bad thing?

Martin Novak/Moment/Getty Images

According to the experts, playing with your hair is usually just a nervous tic, self-soothing tactic, or a mindless habit. That said, sometimes this nervous tic might verge on a larger issue, depending on the extent to which you do it. “Hair twirling/touching can be problematic when it feels out of control or when it escalates into constant hair pulling, called trichotillomania,” says Wien. If this habit has escalated into uncontrollable hair pulling or you generally feel you need help managing hair pulling or touching, it’s important to have a conversation with your doctor or a therapist, who can provide more focused care and coping mechanisms.

If playing with your hair is simply a habit you feel like you want to break, “keeping a hair touching/pulling journal to keep track of this habit and hold yourself accountable is a good first step.”

At the end of the day, though, there is no one reason or deeper meaning behind why some of us play with our hair so much. If you catch yourself doing it, though, take a moment to question how you’re feeling in that moment. You might be surprised by what you find out.

Experts:

Matthew Childs, Psy.D., clinical psychologist

Rachel Wien, Psy.D., NYC-based clinical psychologist

Additional reporting by Theresa Massony.

This article was originally published on 07.21.17

Hair Twirling Touching Pulling Bad Habit Expert Advice

Photo: Soragrit Wongsa

A friend and former colleague of mine, a woman I respect immensely, announced one day in the office that she had a problem with hair-touchers. You know, those people who can't stop playing with their hair: fluffing it, twiddling it, swinging it into the middle of your conversation. Or your lunch. In fact, she considers tying your hair up before you eat to be the hallmark of cool womanhood — because nobody can fully commit to something as important as food with a load of hair flopping in their face.

Everyone made noises of agreement. And I might have nodded along, too, had the truth not dawned on me right in the middle of her rant that I was, in fact, the hair-toucher she was referring to.

I use my hair like a security blanket, a fidget spinner and a scarf. I fiddle with it constantly. I stroke it fondly. I don’t tie it up to eat, or ever, really; I’d generally rather risk littering it with crumbs or trapping it in complex machinery than be seen in public with a ponytail. I’ve devoted myself to its growth and grooming with more energy than I’ve ever given to a pet or a plant — but I suspect the reason goes much deeper than simple vanity. Or at least, I hope it does. So what makes a person a hair-toucher?

One theory, old as time, says we touch our hair as a way of flirting. “Playing with hair — i.e. smoothing, stroking, twirling, pulling back, throwing back (the strongest display) is also known as preening,” notes that iron-clad scientific source, a random dude on a Quora thread. “When a cluster of multiple preening gestures are observed, there is a strong likelihood that the female subject is exhibiting sexual interest.” As someone whose only seduction tactic until I was about 21 was to glower from behind a wall of fringe in what I imagined was a sultry manner, I know there’s truth in this. Hair is aesthetic currency. A friend told me the other day that her dad, despite being bald since the age of 23, still shakes out an invisible mane when he’s trying to be charming to a lady. She finds this hilarious; I find it relatable.

“

I use my hair like a security blanket, a fidget spinner and a scarf. I fiddle with it constantly. I stroke it fondly.

”

But while preening might be an evolutionary, animalistic urge, humans also have society to contend with — and these subconscious habits can say as much about our feelings towards ourselves as those we have for other people. I don’t think I wear my hair down so I can flutter it at boys; it’s more because I believe I need it to balance out my big potato of a face. Besides, lovely though they are, I’m pretty sure I’m not flirting with my colleagues, or the beer-breathed man at the bus stop who calls me "Lady Godiva." So what else?

"We often play with our hair unconsciously. It can be when we are bored, deep in thought, nervous or stressed — hence the term 'tearing out your hair,'" says trichologist Anabel Kingsley of Philip Kingsley. “Hair pulling may be used as a coping mechanism, and as a way to initially alleviate feelings of anxiety. ”

Touching our hair can provide moments of harmless relief when we feel frazzled, but on the more serious side, stress can spawn what’s known as body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs): compulsive habits which include pulling hair out (trichotillomania) and nibbling on it (trichophagia), as well as skin-picking, nose-picking, and lip- and cheek-biting. At its most extreme, trichotillomania is a debilitating condition and can result in permanent hair loss – and female adult sufferers outnumber men by three to one.

Then there’s social appearance anxiety, a strain of anxiety that stems from the fear of negative evaluation of your appearance. Research is limited, but it doesn’t take a PhD to see that, for many of us, hair-touching is more a sign of physical self-consciousness than it is a sassy mating call. Like nervous parents calling a babysitter, we’re just checking it’s doing okay. Is it behaving itself? Has it gone rogue?

The added kicker to all of this is that anxious hair-touching could be making us appear less confident, not more. “Any time someone touches their head, their hair, or their neck, it's actually a very high discomfort cue,” says behavioral expert Vanessa Van Edwards. “Even if they're not anxious, it still comes across as low self-esteem.” A retro French twist for a job interview might not be such a bad plan...

So we touch our hair when we feel sexy, and we touch our hair when we feel stressed — but don’t we also touch it sometimes just to, well, feel? Hair can hold the same tactile pleasure as velvet, silk, or a cashmere-blend sweater. "Hand-in-hair syndrome" is a running joke in the natural hair community, and describes the constant urge to pat, touch, tease and play with your own Afro curls. And science tells us that stroking animals fills us with oxytocin (the "cuddle hormone"), while being touched by others has a similar calming effect — so doesn’t it stand to reason that caressing ourselves like a pet would deliver an extra lovely burst of feel-good chemicals?

“

Twirling can be damaging as it can tangle hairs — and, if done roughly, can snap them and even pull them out.

Anabel Kingsley, Trichologist

”

But whether hair-touching is an act of self-harm, self-consciousness, or just self-love, there’s still the worry that it could be doing your ends some harm. “Swishing, lightly stroking, and flicking your hair isn’t going to do any damage,” Kingsley assures me. “However, if your hands are dirty or oily, they can transfer grime onto your hair and scalp. Twirling can be damaging as it can tangle hairs — and if done roughly, can snap them and even pull them out. Picking at split ends is another no-no.” (There goes my favorite hobby.)

“Try wearing your hair up or in a loose braid,” she adds. “Playing with worry beads or a stress ball can also be helpful as they provide a distraction.”

So maybe, with a little mindfulness, I can train myself to break the habit and curb my hair-touching. Perhaps I need to get a stress ball, or a cat. Or maybe, like so many things in life, the answer just comes back to confidence — that, or a really good deep conditioner.

Related Video:

appearance by Lucie Fink.

Meaning, Definition, Suggestions . What is playing with hair

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Examples

Meaning of the word "PLAY"

Playing, having fun, having fun.

See all meanings of the word PLAY

The meaning of the word "C"

Denotes.

See all meanings of the word C

Meaning of the word "HAIR"

Horny filamentous formation growing on the skin of humans, mammals .meaning also used to designate vegetation in animals, going to technical needs).

See all meanings of the word HAIR

Sentences with “play with hair”

Other results they are of great importance in how others perceive me.
Whenever you play B major, do you spit out a hairball?
After years of dyeing her hair red to play cat valentine, Grande wore extensions.
Fats play a vital role in maintaining healthy skin and hair by insulating body organs from shock, maintaining body temperature and promoting healthy cell function.
Is the ritual of cutting off the first hair called Urgeeh? she plays with Kevin'.
In this sense, the possibility that hair texture could play an adaptively important role cannot be completely ruled out.
Practicing from around the hair papilla and Harg therapy, will play into the hair follicle tissue.
She sat behind me playing with my hair.
They play with their hair and touch your hand.
A young man with silver hair was sitting on the stage at the edge of the room, playing a musical instrument.
I am the wind playing with your hair.
Loves horses, hates poseurs and only dates cute boys with blond hair and big muscles who are at least 6 feet tall and also play lacrosse or water polo.
All this cooing and how he plays with her hair all the time.

Some effeminate guy with curled hair started playing the piano, and then a new beauty, Valencia, came out and sang.
And lightly runs his hand over his neck, playing with his hair.
And Orlov played with her brown hair and kissed her hands, silently touching them with his lips.
Dancing together in the backyard, playing with each other's hair..
Street lights played on his face and golden hair.
The reflections of torches were reflected in blue eyes, played on long blond hair, shrouded white clothes in radiance.
The moonlight coming through the window played on her hair and shoulders.
The sun played on their hair brown with dust.
The curtain falls, the lights in the hall are turned on, the orchestra plays the last chord, and girls with bows in their hair offer sweets and lemonade to the audience.
The wind plays in your hair!
Unlike previous versions of Little Computer People, the playable character is a girl in a pink dress with a bow in her hair.
But it really surprised me that in all the time that I spent with Jenny and Rosie's family, spent time with them, played the same games with them, even somehow physically interacted, but Rosie did not it occurred to me to ask about my race until she ran her hands through my hair.
Loud music playing, windows open, cool breeze blowing hair.
I can comb my hair with a fork, play with things.
Hair also plays an important role in religion, as women and men often change their hairstyle when deciding to dedicate their lives to faith.
Hair plays a very important role in the canons of beauty in different regions of the world, and healthy combed hair has two important functions - beauty and fashion.
Long matted hair covers his entire body except for his face and hands, and he plays the golden dhyangro.

This page provides the definition (meaning) of the phrase / expression "play with hair", as well as synonyms, antonyms and sentences, if they are available in our database. We strive to make the English-Grammar.Biz explanatory dictionary, including the interpretation of the phrase / expression "play with hair", as correct and informative as possible. If you have suggestions or comments about the correctness of the definition of "play with hair", please write to us in the "Feedback" section.

English translation, synonyms, antonyms, example sentences, meaning, word combinations

That was the first time I realized what a huge role hair texture plays in determining ethnicity and how important it is in how I am perceived other.

That was the first time I would realize how big of a role the texture of my hair played in confirming my ethnicity, but also that it would play a key role in how I'm viewed by others in society.

Whenever you play B major, do you spit out a hairball?

Every time you play a C major, he'd puke a hair ball?

After years of dyeing her hair red to play cat valentine, Grande wore extensions.

After years of dyeing her hair red to play Cat Valentine, Grande wore extensions.

Fats play a vital role in maintaining healthy skin and hair by insulating body organs from shock, maintaining body temperature and promoting healthy cell function.

Fats play a vital role in maintaining healthy skin and hair, insulating body organs against shock, maintaining body temperature, and promoting healthy cell function.

Is the ritual of cutting off the first hair called Urgeeh? she plays with Kevin'.

The ritual of cutting the first hair is called Daah' Urgeeh.

In this sense, the possibility that hair texture could play an adaptively important role cannot be completely ruled out.

In this sense the possibility that hair texture may have played an adaptively significant role cannot be completely eliminated from consideration.

Practitioners from all over the hair papilla and Harg therapy, will play in the hair follicle tissue.

Practitioners from around the hair papilla and HARG therapy, will be playing through the hair follicle tissue.

She sat behind me playing with my hair .

She was sitting behind me just kind of playing in my hair.

They play with their hair and touch your hand.

A young man with silver hair was sitting on the stage at the edge of the room, playing a musical instrument.

A young man with a white streak through his hair sat upon a high stool on a platform at the room's corner, playing upon a musical instrument.

I am the wind playing with your hair .

I am the wind blowing through your hair!

Loves horses, hates poseurs and only dates cute boys with blond hair and big muscles who are at least 6 feet tall and also play lacrosse or water polo.

Loves horses, hates poseurs, and will only date cute boys with blonde hair and great abs who are at least 6 feet tall and play either lacrosse or water polo.

All this cooing, and how he plays it all the time with his hair .

It's all that cooing, and the way he's always playing with her hair.

Some effeminate type with curled hair began to play the piano, and then a new beauty, Valencia, came out and sang.

A flitty - looking guy with wavy hair came out and played the piano, and then this new babe, Valencia, came out and sang.

And lightly runs his hand along the neck, playing with his hair .

And gently runs her hand down his neck, playing with his hair.

And Orlov played with her brown hair and kissed her hands, silently touching them with his lips.

The street light played along his face and golden hair.

The reflections of the torches were reflected in the blue eyes, played on the long blond hair , white clothes shrouded in radiance.

The torches gave off a flickering light that danced in his blue eyes, gleamed on his long blond hair, and made his white robes seem to glow.

The moonlight coming through the window played on her hair and shoulders.

The moonlight filtering in from the windows gave her hair and shoulders a golden glow.

The sun played on their brown hair with dust .

The sunlight glisted on hair tawny with dust.

The curtain falls, the lights in the hall are turned on, the orchestra plays the last chord, and girls with bows in their hair offer sweets and lemonade to the audience.

And swish fell the heavy curtains, up sprang the lights, an orchestra plunged into the latest syncopated measure, girls with exaggerated bows in their hair said, Chocolates? Lemonade?

The wind plays in your hair!

The breeze snatching at your hair!

Unlike previous versions of Little Computer People, the playable character is a girl in a pink dress with a bow at hair .

Unlike previous versions of Little Computer People, the playable character is a girl wearing a pink dress and bow in her hair.

But it really surprised me that in all the time that I spent with Jenny and Rosie's family, spent time with them, played the same games with them, even somehow physically interacted, but Rosie did not it occurred to me to ask about my race until she ran her hands through my hair .

But what was more surprising to me was, in all of this time I had spent with Jenny and Rosie's family - hanging out with them, playing with them, even physically interacting with them - it was not until Rosie put her hands in my hair that she thought to ask me if I was black.

Loud music playing, windows open, cool breeze blowing hair .

You've got your music cranked, your windows rolled down, with the cool breeze blowing through your hair.

I can comb my hair with a fork, play with different things.

I get to comb my hair with a fork, play with gadgets and gizmos applenty.

Hair also plays an important role in religion, as women and men often change their hairstyle when they decide to dedicate their lives to faith.

Hair in religion also plays an important role since women and men, when deciding to dedicate their life to faith, often change their haircut.

Hair plays a very important role in the canons of beauty in different regions of the world, and healthy combed hair has two important functions - beauty and fashion.

Hair has a very important role in the canons of beauty in different regions of the world, and healthy combined hair has two important functions, beauty and fashion.

Long matted hair covers his entire body except for his face and hands, and he plays the golden dhyangro.

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