Parental loss support group

SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

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It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.

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Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.
For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.

Last Updated: 08/30/2022

Recovery and Recovery Support | SAMHSA

Recovery and Resilience

Resilience refers to an individual’s ability to cope with change and adversity. Resilience develops over time and gives an individual the capacity not only to cope with life’s challenges but also to be better prepared for the next stressful situation. Psychological resilience, the ability to cope with adversity and to adapt to stressful life events, varies widely from person to person and depends on environmental as well as personal factors. It refers to positive adaptation, or the ability to maintain mental and physical health despite participating in stressful situations. Resilience is playing up those protective factors so they can outweigh the risk factors. Optimism and the ability to remain hopeful are essential to resilience and the process of recovery.

Because recovery is a highly individualized process, recovery services and supports must be age appropriate and offered over the life course and flexible enough to ensure cultural relevancy. What may work for adults in recovery may be very different for youth or older adults in recovery. For example, the promotion of resiliency in young people, and the nature of social supports, peer mentors, and recovery coaching for adolescents and transitional age youth are different than recovery support services for adults and older adults.

Recovery and Relationships

The process of recovery is supported through relationships and social networks. This often involves family members who become the champions of their loved one’s recovery. They provide essential support to their family member’s journey of recovery and similarly experience the moments of positive healing as well as the difficult challenges. Families of people in recovery may experience adversities in their social, occupational, and financial lives, as well as in their overall quality of family life.

These experiences can lead to increased family stress, guilt, shame, anger, fear, anxiety, loss, grief, and isolation. The concept of resilience in recovery is also vital for family members who need access to intentional supports that promote their health and well-being. The support of peers and friends is also crucial in engaging and supporting individuals in recovery.

Peer support assists individuals to engage or stay connected to the recovery process through a shared understanding, respect, and mutual empowerment. Peer support extends beyond the reach of clinical treatment into the everyday environment providing non-clinical, strengths-based support. This relationship can help lay the foundation for SAMHSA’s four dimensions of recovery.

Recovery Support

SAMHSA advanced recovery support systems to promote partnering with people in recovery from mental and substance use disorders and their family members to guide the behavioral health system and promote individual, program, and system-level approaches that foster health and resilience; increase housing to support recovery; reduce barriers to employment, education, and other life goals; and secure necessary social supports in their chosen community.

Recovery support is provided in various settings. Recovery support services help people enter into and navigate systems of care, remove barriers to recovery, stay engaged in the recovery process, and live full lives in communities of their choice.

Recovery support services include culturally and linguistically appropriate services that assist individuals and families working toward recovery from mental and/or substance use problems. They incorporate a full range of social, legal, and other services (PDF | 409 KB). that facilitate recovery, wellness, and linkage to and coordination among service providers, and other supports shown to improve quality of life for people (and their families) in and seeking recovery.

Recovery support services may be provided before, during, or after clinical treatment, or may be provided to individuals who are not in treatment but seek support services.

These services, provided by professionals and peers, are delivered through a variety of community and faith-based groups, treatment providers, schools, and other specialized services. The broad range of service delivery options ensures the life experiences of all people are valued and represented.

For example, in the United States there are 34 recovery high schools that help reduce the risk in high school environments for youth with substance use disorders. These schools typically have high retention rates and low rates of students returning to substance use.

Additionally, SAMHSA's Bringing Recovery Supports to Scale Technical Assistance Center Strategy (BRSS TACS) advances effective recovery supports and services for people with mental or substance use disorders and their families.

Find more Publications and Resources on Recovery and Recovery Support.

A bereavement group to support parents who have experienced the loss of a child

The Children's Hospice has a bereavement group to support parents who have experienced the loss of a child.

Families meet twice a month with hospice psychologists. For parents who have lost a child, it is important to have a space where you can feel safe, talk about your child, remember not only the illness, but also life with him, talk about your love. Communication with other parents helps to understand how others are coping, to see that you are not alone, to feel support. An important task in experiencing loss is to build a new relationship with someone who will never be there again. Meetings help to realize that relationships with loved ones never end, but they change, and they always remain with us. nine0003

The group is open, you can come at any convenient day. Meetings in September:

September 10 from 18:30 to 21:00
September 28 from 12:30 to 15:00.

The group takes place in the hospital of the Children's Hospice "House with a lighthouse" at the address: st. Dolgorukovskaya, 30, 3rd floor.

Leading groups - psychologists: Alena Kizino ([email protected], 89680293811) and Natalia Perevoznyuk ([email protected], 89099382541).

One of the mothers wrote a letter about her experience of visiting the group, please read it:

“When a child dies, everything is different now, and life will never be the same again. And what to do with it, how to continue to live - is completely unknown. And most often there is no one to talk about this with: most people respond in the spirit: “Everything will be fine, what are your years, give birth to yourself, it’s good already about this, pull yourself together, but better get distracted.” Or, not knowing what to say, they are silent, and someone moves away - suddenly it is contagious. And relatives, perhaps, themselves are so hurt and bad that they simply cannot talk, it happens. And what to do now and where to go with it is not known...

But we know! The Children's Hospice "House with a Lighthouse" has not only wonderful psychologists who helped hundreds of people survive the worst losses and rise again. There are regular meetings of parents who have lost children. This is such a reliable proven safe place where you can safely talk about the main thing. Or silently listen, if it is impossible to speak. And you can talk about everything: about any feelings, about your child, about the most difficult and unusual situations, events and meanings - about anything that is important for you, what hurts, what makes you happy, what you live for. nine0003

Memories are interesting here. This is a space where every departed child is important, every remaining parent is valuable. You will be listened to, heard and understood. No one will twist at the temple and say that you are crazy, and it's time to do something else, no. And not only because the meetings are held under the wing of sensitive and experienced psychologists, but also because the PARENTS who have lost their children like you come here. And like me.

There are not very many of us who have come down, but we are coping quietly. Or not, everyone has their own way. But we are coming. And we are talking. We talk about what is important, what happened to us, what happened later, and, most importantly, what is now. That you can survive the death of a child, and you can survive well, and how to survive. That life goes on, and at the same time, our beloved dear angels will forever remain in our hearts. And that you can start living right now. nine0003

Find new friends here. There are trips to nature with barbecue, guitar and cinema, and, if it is, with the whole family and children. Here they create cards, play games, joke and laugh. They eat pies and pizzas, they always pour hot tea, always! And they ask - what do you like? For me, red. And the coffee is delicious too. And if they cry, then the tears dry up quickly, and a napkin will always be served - there is an inexhaustible source of them.

Come.
Every person, child, event, feeling has its time, place and heart here. Come, even if you consider yourself terry introverts and the unknown scares you - here no one climbs into the soul and does not stick at all, does not ask stupid questions and does not require answers to them. I checked. Is that one word: with what you leave. And, you know, often it's a joy. Love. Another look. Relief. Opening. New idea. nine0003

It's stupid to drag yourself by the scruff of the neck or see your spouse out for company, despite wild doubts and disbelief, why this is all - any method of delivering yourself to the place is fine, and then we'll figure it out.

The Bereaved Parents Support Group is open to everyone every second Tuesday of the month from 18:30 to 21:00 and every last Saturday from 12:30 to 15:00.

There are also meetings for brothers and sisters, they take place once a month and are scheduled separately - ask the coordinator to send a newsletter, there is a lot of interesting things for us who are left. nine0003

There is life after life.

Thank you for reminding us of this every time “House with a Lighthouse”.

Help groups for those who have lost loved ones: you are not alone

Image from musikcity.co

The members of the group learned about the new format of helping people who have experienced the tragedy of losing a loved one from social networks and announcements on the Project website.

On February 16 they saw each other for the first time; despite stereotypes that men are less likely to seek psychological help, there were as many of them in the group as women. nine0003

Meetings are conducted by psychologists of Co-Action Yana Zakharopulo and Valentina Petrova . With all participants, the hosts conduct small preliminary interviews.

What are support groups for?

A person who has lost a loved one may experience conflicting feelings: on the one hand, he wants to “tell everything”, on the other hand, he is afraid of being misunderstood. For friends, this can be a test, because it is impossible to understand grief if there is no personal experience. nine0003

Therefore, a person experiencing the loss of a loved one often finds himself in isolation, and it is not always he who initiated the break with friends. The people around are simply unable to predict his reaction to their help: is it necessary to constantly sympathize, is it worth remembering the deceased, is it possible to advise distraction, is it appropriate to give advice at all? Why did I say: “I understand you” out of good intentions, but they were offended by me: “You don’t understand!”? What is worse: to invite a grieving person to a holiday, or to invite everyone except him? nine0003

It seems to a person experiencing grief that it is impossible to find words to express it, so he decides not to say anything, stops calling, writing, meeting.

A group of help for people who have lost loved ones was created in order to overcome the isolation that such a person involuntarily falls into.

Nobody theorizes in the help group, only those who know what the death of a loved one is.

Be silent among your own

Everything happens like in the movies: people enter the room, sit in a circle, introduce themselves and start talking about their feelings, about the situation they are in. nine0003

- In a support group, and we are engaged in support, not therapy, we give a person free space to express themselves and protect them from any condemnation, no matter how the interlocutors react to it, - says Yana Zakharopulo, psychologist at Co-Action . - He can cry, swear, get angry, all this is normal. But if someone himself is not ready to talk about his experiences, then our task is to understand why it is difficult for a person to open up and how we can help.

Sometimes a person just needs time to be present, to listen to other participants, to be silent and gather his thoughts. Please, here no one will rush and push until the person himself decides to speak out. If he already wants to say something, but cannot find the words, he is shy, it seems to him that his speech is incomprehensible - for such cases, there are certain psychological techniques that help to cope with the problem. nine0003 Photo courtesy of tmgonlinemedia.nl

Knowing yourself is knowing others

Group psychotherapy has long established itself in helping people experiencing tragic events. Strange as it may seem at first glance, but it is in a group, and not tete-a-tete, that it becomes easier for many to overcome internal barriers that prevent them from talking about their feelings. Over time, tension, fear of being misunderstood, alertness in a person give way to confidence that they will understand him, they will not condemn him, that his experiences are valuable. nine0003

This happens because working in a group gives you the opportunity to look at yourself from the outside, even from different angles, to be in the place of another.

For example, listening to a classmate’s story about how his friend was offended when, in response to the advice “not to worry”, “get distracted”, he said something sharp to him, the person notices: “I would also be offended if it were so responded to my advice. And, at the same time, he can understand at this moment that when he himself does this under the influence of emotions, it is insulting to his friends, who did not want to upset him at all. nine0003

Such examples, which help to see oneself in three dimensions, to "lose one's temper" and see the reaction to one's words, the behavior of one's friends, help to establish relationships with friends and relatives outside the group.

But the most important feeling that a group gives a person is that you are not alone, there are people around you who are also trying to survive the loss, they understand how bad it can be, why you don’t want to live, get out of bed, go to the store, they don’t need to explain why you didn't wash your face today. And it is no less important that in such groups a person understands that he himself can help others. nine0003

In addition to communication, which in itself heals, the group also uses art therapy of the participants' choice. Drawing, music, breathing techniques, body-oriented therapy - different techniques can be practiced at meetings, the main thing is that the participants like it. Do not do what is a burden - one of the basic rules.

Photo from wellmindtherapy.co.uk

New friends

A support group is the same society, only in miniature, and as in ordinary life, relationships will be formed between people. Meetings and communication outside the group are only welcome. After all, when both interlocutors experience the loss of a loved one, although each experiences it differently, it is easier for them to agree on how communication will take place without mutual offense: do they want to talk about their pain, share memories, or, conversely, do they want to be distracted and just take a walk together , discuss books, go to the store, argue on abstract topics. nine0003

In addition, if a group member needs urgent help or just wants to talk, they can call the 24-hour hotline.

How to evaluate the result

Working with a group is quite hard work for leaders. Unlike face-to-face conversations, when you can completely focus on the interlocutor and “catch” his verbal and non-verbal manifestations, it is difficult to track individual reactions in a group. Therefore, as a rule, two psychologists are present at the meeting at once: one talks with the participants, is involved in the discussion, and the second observes whether it is necessary for someone to pay special attention now, or, on the contrary, whether someone has fallen out of the conversation, lost interest in what is happening. During the two hours that the meeting lasts, everyone who comes should have the opportunity to speak. nine0003

- When you see the result: people can live with their loss, they understand that mourning is a very long process and they will have to go through this path, but no one has to go alone - this is very motivating for a psychologist and saves from any burnout, despite the objective complexity of such work, - notes Yana.

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