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nahaufnahme foto jubeln toothy lächeln zwei personen mutter und teen tochter halten sie hände, die arme um die brust schön suchen beste freunde freuen sich tragen weiße t-shirts jeans in hellen küche - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilder
Nahaufnahme Foto jubeln toothy Lächeln zwei Personen Mutter und. ..
Selfie machen. Weibliche Teenagerin mit ihrer Mutter ist tagsüber
Selfie machen. Weiblicher Teenager mit ihrer Mutter ist tagsüber zu Hause.
mutter kämmt die haare der tochter zu hause - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter kämmt die Haare der Tochter zu Hause
Mutter kämmt die Haare ihrer Tochter zu Hause
mutter macht zöpfe auf dem kopf der kleinen tochter. vorbereitung auf die schule. - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter macht Zöpfe auf dem Kopf der kleinen Tochter....
Porträt der Mutter macht Zöpfe auf dem Kopf der kleinen Tochter. Vorbereitung auf die Schule.
mutter bürsten haare der tochter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter bürsten Haare der Tochter
Verschwommener Inhalt Mutter bürstet lange Haare der lächelnden Teenager-Tochter, während sie das Konzept von Liebe und Fürsorge zeigt
eine glückliche afroamerikanische frau, die die haare ihrer tochter macht, während sie zu hause auf dem sofa sitzen - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderEine glückliche afroamerikanische Frau, die die Haare ihrer.
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Ein entzückendes kleines Kind spielt, während ihr Kindermädchen sich um sie kümmert.
junge mutter frau mit langen haaren mit kleinen tween mädchen tochter im pyjama kämmt ihre haare am morgen im badezimmer zu hause - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderJunge Mutter Frau mit langen Haaren mit kleinen Tween Mädchen...
Junge Mutter Frau mit langen Haaren mit kleinem Tween-Mädchen Tochter im Schlafanzug kämmt sich morgens im Badezimmer zu Hause die Haare
süßes fuchshaar kleines mädchen, das make-up aufträgt und frisur auf rothaarige ingwermutter im schlafzimmer beautican girlish spa day - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bildersüßes Fuchshaar kleines Mädchen, das Make-up aufträgt und Frisur...
Süßes fuchsiges Haar kleines Mädchen, das Make-up aufträgt und Frisur zu rothaariger Ingwermutter im Schlafzimmer macht Wunderschönes Mädchen Spa-Tag.
Mutter bürstet Töchter Haare auf dem Bett
schöne reife mutter und erwachsene tochter unter selfies zusammen - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderSchöne Reife Mutter und Erwachsene Tochter unter Selfies zusammen
nahaufnahme foto ziemlich zweit braunen haaren mama mama kleines töchterchen stand erstaunlich umarmt schweinchen wieder schöne freie zeit freuen, tragen weiße t-shirts auf leuchtend blauem hintergrund isoliert - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderNahaufnahme Foto ziemlich zweit braunen Haaren Mama Mama kleines...
ein porträt der jungen mutter mit einer kleinen tochter im herbst natur bei sonnenuntergang. - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderEin Porträt der jungen Mutter mit einer kleinen Tochter im...
mutter und tochter im hause - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter und Tochter im Hause
glückliche mutter mit ihrer tochter umarmt einen teenager im sommer - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderGlückliche Mutter mit ihrer Tochter umarmt einen Teenager im.
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glückliche Mutter mit ihrer Tochter, die einen Teenager im Sommer in der untergehenden Sonne umarmt
mutter bindet die haare ihrer tochter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter bindet die Haare ihrer Tochter
Afroamerikanische Mutter und ihre Tochter sitzen zusammen auf dem Sofa in ihrem Wohnzimmer. Mutter bindet die Haare ihrer Tochter zu einem Pferdeschwanz.
mutter reinigt kopfläuse an den haaren ihrer tochter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter reinigt Kopfläuse an den Haaren ihrer Tochter
Mutter macht Kopfläuse Reinigung an ihrer Tochter lockiges Haar.
schöne kleine mädchen lachen, während sie von ihrer jungen mutter im freien in feld der blumen gegen sonnenuntergang umarmt. - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderSchöne kleine Mädchen lachen, während sie von ihrer jungen...
oma, mutter und tochter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderOma, Mutter und Tochter
Schöne Frauengeneration: Oma, Mama und Tochter umarmen sich, schauen in die Kamera und lächeln
mutter mit krebs umarmen tochter im bad und machen gesichter.
- mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter mit Krebs umarmen Tochter im Bad und machen Gesichter.
Tag im Leben eines Krebspatienten - Porträt einer Frau zu Hause und im Büro nach einer Chemotherapie aufgrund von Lymphknotenkrebs. Frau ist 30 Jahre alt echte Krebs geheilte Patientin, Fotos und Videos aufgenommen Wochen nach der letzten Chemotherapie-Sitzung mit sichtbaren Verbrennungen am Hals der Frau und auf der Gesichtshaut.
glückliche liebevolle familie. mutter und ihre tochter mädchen spielen und haben spaß auf dem bett im schlafzimmer. sie lächeln und schauen sich an. das vergnügen, mutter zu sein, herzlichen glückwunsch zum muttertag - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderGlückliche liebevolle Familie. Mutter und ihre Tochter Mädchen...
Glückliche liebevolle Familie. Mutter und ihre Tochter spielen und haben Spaß auf dem Bett im Schlafzimmer. Sie lächeln und schauen sich an.
Das Vergnügen, Mutter zu sein, herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Muttertag
Mutter macht Zöpfe auf dem Kopf der kleinen Tochter.
Mutter macht Zöpfe auf dem Kopf der kleinen Tochter. Der Friseur flechtet die Haare eines jungen Mädchens. Vorbereitung auf die Schule.
nahaufnahme foto von glücklich lächelnd schulmädchen mit langen, dunklen locken und ihre schöne mutter, die ihr haar bürsten ist, sie sind gekleidet in weißen t-shirts - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderNahaufnahme Foto von glücklich lächelnd Schulmädchen mit langen,...
mutter kämmt die haare der tochter zu hause - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter kämmt die Haare der Tochter zu Hause
Mutter kämmt die Haare ihrer Tochter zu Hause
mutter und tochter kämmen haare - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter und Tochter kämmen Haare
Glückliche Familie! Mutter und Tochter Mädchen kämmen und blasen trockene Haare im Badezimmer.
Mutter und Tochter, die Haare zu kämmen
Glückliche Familie! Mutter und Tochter kämmen sich im Badezimmer Haare.
lockiges haar styling tochter mutter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderlockiges Haar Styling Tochter Mutter
glücklich liebevolle familie - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderGlücklich liebevolle Familie
Lustige Familie! Mutter und ihr Kind Tochter Mädchen mit einem Papierzubehör. Schönheit lustiges Mädchen, das eine Papierbrille am Stiel hält. Schöne junge Frau, die eine Papierbrille auf dem Stick hält.
tochter, mutter und großmutter zu hause - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderTochter, Mutter und Großmutter zu Hause
Das kleine Mädchen, die attraktive junge Mutter und die charmante Großmutter haben Spaß und liegen auf dem Sofa, während sie zu Hause Zeit miteinander verbringen.
Frauengeneration. Internationaler Frauentag. Schönen Muttertag.
Glückliche afrikanische Familie am Strand während der...
haar styling tochter mutter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderHaar Styling Tochter Mutter
Kleines Mädchen, das sich von seiner Mutter die Haare verdrehen lässt.
junge mutter und tochter in weißen t-shirts schauen in den spiegel menschen von hinten - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderJunge Mutter und Tochter in weißen T-Shirts schauen in den...
familiennähe. mutter und tochter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderFamiliennähe. Mutter und Tochter
Familien-Nahaufnahme. Porträt von Mutter und Tochter
blonde freude genießen ferienkonzept lachen witz zwei personen.
porträt von niedlich süß schön bezaubernd charmant nahaufnahme schön unbeschwert verspielt mit toothy lächeln mama mama mama kind isoliert auf hintergrund - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderBlonde Freude genießen Ferienkonzept Lachen Witz zwei Personen....
porträt eines schönen babys im bett - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderPorträt eines schönen Babys im Bett
ich liebe dich mama - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderIch liebe dich Mama
mutter lehrt eine kleine tochter, make-up zu tun. - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter lehrt eine kleine Tochter, Make-up zu tun.
glückliche afrikanische mutter und tochter lächeln vor der kamera - fokus auf gesichter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderGlückliche afrikanische Mutter und Tochter lächeln vor der...
süße lustige schwestern mit schönen langen hdark haare sind gefälschte schnurrbart mit ihren haaren machen, sie haben spaß - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderSüße lustige Schwestern mit schönen langen Hdark Haare sind gefäls
ist eine vollzeit-mutter ist die größte aufgabe immer - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderIst eine Vollzeit-Mutter ist die größte Aufgabe immer
Aufnahme einer glücklichen Mutter, die zu Hause die Haare ihrer Tochter flechtet
mutter kämmt haare der tochter vor dem spiegel - mom doing daughters hair stock-grafiken, -clipart, -cartoons und -symboleMutter kämmt Haare der Tochter vor dem Spiegel
Mutter kämmt Haare der Tochter vor dem Spiegel.
Glückliche Frau, die Mädchen für die Vektorillustration der Ferienwohnung vorbereitet. Familien-, Feierkonzept für Banner, Website-Design oder Landing-Webseite
glückliche Frau und ihre Tochter in weißen Bademänteln
glamouröse Frau und ihre Tochter in weißen Bademänteln und Handtüchern auf dem Kopf mit Pediküre-Schwamm an den Fingern, die Tee trinken. Mama verbringt Zeit zusammen mit Kind
pflege schwangere afrikanische mutter kämmt ihre kleine tochter die haare zu hause - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderPflege schwangere afrikanische Mutter kämmt ihre kleine Tochter...
mutter trocknet die haare eines kleinen mädchens - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter trocknet die Haare eines kleinen Mädchens
haarpflege. - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderHaarpflege.
mutter und tochter genießen auf dem bett, glücklich, lächeln - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter und Tochter genießen auf dem Bett, glücklich, Lächeln
vorbereitung für die schule.
- mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderVorbereitung für die Schule.
glückliche schwarze mutter ihre tochter in bademäntel spielen schönheitssalon zu hause - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderGlückliche schwarze Mutter Ihre Tochter In Bademäntel spielen Schö
afrikanischer vater bindet kleine tochterhaare mit buntem haarband im wohnzimmer. - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderAfrikanischer Vater bindet kleine Tochterhaare mit buntem...
Glücklicher afrikanischer Familienvater bindet kleine Tochter Haare mit buntem Haarband im Wohnzimmer. Vater und Kind Mädchen genießen und Spaß verbringen Zeit zusammen mit Indoor-Aktivität mit Schönheitsbehandlung zu Hause
junge mutter mit kleiner tochter drinnen im badezimmer, kämmen haare. - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderJunge Mutter mit kleiner Tochter drinnen im Badezimmer, Kämmen...
cartoon-familie-erstellung-kit. eltern, kinder und großeltern charaktere konstruktor.
große familie vektor illustration set - mom doing daughters hair stock-grafiken, -clipart, -cartoons und -symboleCartoon-Familie-Erstellung-Kit. Eltern, Kinder und Großeltern...
Cartoon-Familien-Kreations-Kit. Eltern, Kinder und Großeltern Charaktere Konstruktor. Große Familie, Maskottchen-Emotionen, Körpergeste und Frisur. Isolierter Symbolsatz für Vektorillustrationen
wasserschutz - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderWasserschutz
glückliche mutter und tochter lag kopfüber auf sofa, porträt - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderGlückliche Mutter und Tochter lag kopfüber auf Sofa, Porträt
glücklich liebevolle familie - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderGlücklich liebevolle Familie
porträt von schön aussehende süße liebenswerte liebenswerte charmante niedliche niedliche fröhliche positive damen tragen weißes t-shirt mit herzzeichen isoliert über beige pastell-hintergrund - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderPorträt von schön aussehende süße liebenswerte liebenswerte.
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Porträt von schön aussehenden süßen, schönen, entzückenden, attraktiven, charmanten, süßen, fröhlichen, fröhlichen, positiven Damen, die ein weißes T-Shirt tragen, das ein Herzzeichen zeigt, das über einem beigen Pastellhintergrund isoliert ist.
mutter tochter haare bürsten - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter Tochter Haare bürsten
mutter und tochter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderMutter und Tochter
Charmantes kleines Mädchen und ihre schöne junge Mutter umarmen sich, schauen in die Kamera und lächeln, auf grauem Hintergrund
große, glückliche familie. mutter, vater und kinder. maskottchen creation kits. lustige paar mit kindern - mom doing daughters hair stock-grafiken, -clipart, -cartoons und -symboleGroße, glückliche Familie. Mutter, Vater und Kinder. Maskottchen...
Große glückliche Familie.
Mutter, Vater und Kinder. Maskottchen Kreation Kit. Lustiges Paar mit Kindern. Familien-Cartoon-Konstruktor mit Emotion und Pose. Vektor-Illustration
Mode Frau und hübsches Mädchen
Schöne Mutter und Tochter mit Kranz
foto der glücklichen mutter und ihre kleine tochter - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderFoto der glücklichen Mutter und ihre kleine Tochter
zärtlichkeit freude freude häusliches leben modekonzept. porträt der schönen ziemlich freundlich ruhig wunderschöne schwestern zeit miteinander zu verbringen, im inneren des hauses hautnah - mom doing daughters hair stock-fotos und bilderZärtlichkeit Freude Freude Häusliches Leben Modekonzept. Porträt...
von 10033 Mother-Daughter Activities to Try Now
Have a water fight, take a road trip or just have a conversation. There are so many activities mothers and daughters can do together to strengthen that important bond
Between school, work and keeping the family afloat, sometimes it’s tough for mother-daughter activities to come front and center.
In order to help you keep that bond strong, we looked around and found 33 of the very best ideas. Whether your daughter is 5 or 15, keep reading to discover mother-daughter activities you’ve got to try at least once.
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The 5TH via Unsplash
1. Play a game of basketball. Even if you aren't the next Steph Curry, you can still shoot hoops with your daughter. Plus, it's a great workout!
2. Have a spa day. Every mom and daughter deserves the royal treatment at least once. A soothing mask, manicure and pedicure, and a glass of refreshing cucumber water will make for a very memorable day.
3. Write in a journal together. Sometimes talking about our feelings is tough. But using a mother-daughter journal to share our dreams and disappointments can be a great bonding experience (and a wonderful keepsake for the future).
4.
Have a movie marathon. Pick a series of movies (Star Wars, Harry Potter, Disney), pop popcorn and make a day of movies in your family room.
5. Go on a road trip. Nothing says togetherness like riding in a car for a long time. Create a playlist of music you both want, pick a destination and start driving.
Related: 12 Everyday Ways to Celebrate Your Kids
iStock6. Read together. Whether your daughter is 2-years-old or 12, pick a book to read aloud together. You'll never forget the experience of bonding over words together.
7. Set up a science project. Studies show girls lose interest in science by age 15, so start early and keep her engaged to fight this startling statistic. Try some of these classic science experiments at home.
8. Go to high tea. Find a fancy hat and get your pinkies up.
High tea is a luxurious activity that every mom and daughter should do at least once.
9. Volunteer or do a community service project. There are a lot of community activities for families. Pick an activity that will help mom and daughter give back to others while spending time together.
10. Schedule a professional photoshoot. Most moms have hundreds of photos of their daughters, and we all love a good selfie. But having a photographer other than yourself capture lasting memories is a gift you'll enjoy well into the future. We love Shoott, the company that connects local photographers with people who want to have their pictures taken.
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Sai De Silva via Unsplash11. Travel to a new city. You can take a plane ride to another state or drive to the next town over. Explore a new city with your daughter, and see what you both find interesting.
12. Have a good cry together. Showing your daughter that's it's okay to express her feelings is important. And, it's important to show her that you're human, too.
13. Take a hike. Find a trail to explore. Wander through your local park. Stroll the beach, head up a mountain or discover the desert. Enjoying nature together may open your eyes to many new things along the path.
14. Bake a cake or cook a full dinner. You've probably enlisted your daughter's help in baking cookies or peeling a vegetable now and then. Take the culinary skills up a notch and attempt to create an entire cake or a four-course meal.
15. Go on a shopping spree. While it's probably worth saving up some money for this indulgence, an afternoon shopping spree is something every mother and daughter should do together.
Related: Quality Time Over Quantity: What Our Kids *Really* Need from Us
iStock16.
See a play or musical. Dress up, have lunch and experience a play or musical at one of your local theaters.
17. Take a painting class together. Get artsy and do a painting or crafting class together. You'll love seeing each of your unique perspectives come to life on the canvas.
18. Go to an amusement park. Some moms like theme parks as much (or more than) as the kids. Spend a day at the Happiest Place on Earth, or explore the features at Universal Studios.
19. Have regular mommy-daughter dates. Whether it's a lunch date, a walk to the park, or visiting a local museum, you don't have to wait for a special occasion to spend time with your daughter.
20. Pick a Pinterest project to tackle. You know all those crafts and projects you have pinned? Find a perfect one for a mother-daughter team and make an afternoon of it.
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Laura Fuhrman via Unsplash21.
Have a dance party. Blast your favorite playlist and dance, dance, dance.
22. Look through old photos and scrapbooks. Before the days of Facebook, we kept our memories printed in albums. Share your old photo albums and scrapbooks with your daughter, and tell her stories about those special times.
23. Go thrift shopping or antique hunting. It's fun to hunt through thrift shops and see what treasures you can find.
24. Go fishing. Who says fishing just for the guys? Find a local fishing hole and spend an afternoon casting a line.
25. Play a board game. There are plenty of games that are perfect for a mother-daughter afternoon. You can even take the game to a local coffee shop or park to make the time more special.
Related: 10 Compliments Your Daughter Needs to Hear
Luísa Schetinger on Unsplash26.
Have a picnic. Pack a picnic lunch (or buy a delicious sandwich at a local shop) and find a pretty outdoor spot. Spend some time eating, chatting, reading or playing together.
27. Go to a fancy dinner. Make a reservation for a restaurant you've always wanted to try and have a date night with your daughter.
28. Have a water fight. Invest in some balloons and water guns and spend the day getting wet.
29. Learn to build something. Put your girl power into action, and perfect your building skills at a class through Home Depot or another hands-on workshop. There's no reason the hammer and drills should be left to fathers and sons.
30. Have a one-on-one conversation. We've got 38 conversation starters right here.
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Related: 45 Simple Things Every Mom & Son Can Do Together
iStock31.
Set up and finish a jigsaw puzzle. A puzzle guarantees hours of quality time with your daughter.
32. Run a race. Whether it’s a 5k or a 1-mile fun run, train with your daughter and show her that girls can do anything!
33. Go out to eat. Pick a spot from our ultimate list of restaurants where kids eat free.
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which of them are the most dangerous
Every mother wants her children to be happy, but sometimes something goes wrong... What harm can adult attitudes do to growing girls, says a well-known psychologist.
Tags:
Expert advice
Daughters-mothers
relationship mistakes
The most serious mistake that many mothers and grandmothers make when raising a daughter and, accordingly, a granddaughter is programming her for a certain mandatory set of skills and qualities that she must possess. “You must be nice”, “You must be accommodating”, “You must like”, “You must learn to cook”, “You must”. There is nothing wrong with the ability to cook, but the girl develops a flawed mindset: you will be valuable only if you meet a set of criteria. Here, a personal example will work much more effectively and without trauma for the psyche: let's cook delicious soup together. Let's get home together. Let's choose your hairstyle together. Seeing how mom does something and enjoys it, the daughter will want to learn it.
And on the contrary, if a mother hates some business, then no matter how much she repeats that this needs to be learned, the girl will have a subconscious rejection of the process. But in fact, everything that is needed, the girl will still learn sooner or later. When she herself needs it.
The second mistake that is often found in the upbringing of daughters is a heavy, judgmental attitude towards men and sex, which is transmitted to her by her mother. “They all need one thing”, “Look, he will swear and leave”, “The main thing is not to bring it in the hem”, “You must be inaccessible”. As a result, the girl grows up with the feeling that men are aggressors and rapists, that sex is something dirty and bad that should be avoided. At the same time, with age, her body will begin to send signals to her, hormones will begin to rage, and this internal contradiction between the prohibition coming from the mother and the desire coming from the inside is also very traumatic.
The third error, which contrasts surprisingly with the second, is that closer to the age of 20, the girl is told that her formula for happiness consists of "get married and give birth." And ideally - up to 25 years, otherwise it will be too late. Think about it: at first, in childhood, she was told what she should learn (list) in order to get married and become a mother, then for several years she was broadcast the idea that men are goats, and sex is dirt, and here again: get married and give birth . It is paradoxical, but often it is precisely such contradictory attitudes that mothers voice to their daughters. The result is a fear of relationships as such. And the risk of losing yourself, losing touch with your desires and realizing what the girl really wants is seriously increasing.
The fourth mistake is overprotection. Now this is a big problem, mothers are increasingly tying their daughters to themselves and surrounded by so many prohibitions that it becomes scary.
Don't go for a walk, don't be friends with these people, call me every half an hour, where are you, why were you late for 3 minutes. Girls are not given any freedom, they are not given the right to make decisions, because these decisions may turn out to be erroneous. But it normal! At the age of 14-16, a normal teenager goes through the process of separation, he wants to decide everything himself, and (with the exception of life and health issues) he needs to be given such an opportunity. Because if a girl grows up under her mother's heel, she will establish herself in the idea that she is a second-class creature, incapable of an autonomous existence, and other people will always decide everything for her.
The fifth mistake is the formation of a negative image of the father. It does not matter whether the father is present in the family or the mother raises the child without his participation, it is unacceptable to turn the father into a demon. You can’t tell a child that his shortcomings are bad heredity on the paternal side.
It is impossible to denigrate the father, whatever he may be. If he really was a "goat", then the mother should also admit her share of responsibility for the fact that she chose this particular person as the father of her child. It was a mistake, so the parents broke up, but the responsibility for the one who took part in the conception cannot be outweighed by the girl. She's definitely not at fault here.
The sixth mistake is corporal punishment. Of course, no children should be beaten, ever, but it is worth recognizing that it hurts girls more. Psychologically, the girl quickly slides from normal self-esteem to the position of a humiliated and subordinate. And if physical punishment comes from the father, this will almost certainly lead to the fact that the girl will choose the aggressors as partners.
The seventh mistake is underpraising. The daughter should grow up, constantly hearing that she is the most beautiful, the most beloved, the most capable, the most-most.
This will form a healthy, normal self-esteem. This will help the girl grow up with a sense of self-satisfaction, self-acceptance, self-love. This is the key to her happy future.
Eighth mistake - showdown with daughter. Parents should never arrange quarrels in front of children, this is simply unacceptable. Especially when it comes to the personal qualities of the mother and father, mutual accusations. The child must not see this. And if it happened, both parents should apologize and explain that they did not cope with their feelings, quarreled and already reconciled, and most importantly, the child has nothing to do with it.
The ninth mistake is the incorrect experience of the girl's puberty. There are two extremes here: allow everything, so as not to lose contact, and prohibit everything, so as not to “miss out”. As they say, both are worse. The only way to overcome this difficult period for everyone without sacrifice is firmness and goodwill.
Firmness - in upholding the boundaries of what is permitted, goodwill - in communication. For girls at this age, it is especially important that they talk a lot with them, ask questions, answer idiotic questions, share their memories. And you need to react more calmly, never use these conversations against a child. If this is not done now, there will never be intimacy, and the grown-up daughter will say: "I never trusted my mother."
Finally, the last error is an incorrect installation for life. In no case should girls be told that her life must include certain points. Get married, give birth, lose weight, not get fat, and so on. A girl needs to be set up for self-realization, for the ability to listen to herself, for the opportunity to do what she likes, what she does well, for pleasure from herself, independence from other people's assessments and public opinion. Then a happy, beautiful, self-confident woman ready for a full-fledged partnership will grow up.
Photo: Shutterstock
Source: Cosmo.ru
The tragedy of “good girls”: why you should not sacrifice everything for mothers
When a mother demands emotional support from a little daughter, a girl has two ways to obey her mother or rebel. And the first of them is a sure way to become that very “good girl”, confident that mother's approval can only be earned. How to get out of this vicious circle - in an excerpt from the book by Bethany Webster "Finding the inner mother. How to work through mother trauma and gain personal strength.
In childhood, the child is completely dependent on the mother and expects physical, mental and emotional support from her. That is why the dynamic of the relationship between a little girl and her mother is ideally a one-way street where support flows continuously from mother to daughter. However, one of the many varieties of maternal trauma is a common reverse dynamic where a mother demands her daughter to provide her with intellectual and emotional support.
These demands are inadequate, and the reversal of roles causes incredible harm to the daughter, adversely affecting her self-esteem, self-confidence and sense of self-worth.
In order to fulfill the mother's demands and satisfy her emotional needs, the little daughter has to suppress her own needs, which are natural at this stage of development. The mother should mirror the daughter's emotions, and instead the daughter becomes the mother's emotional mirror. The mother should be the daughter's reliable emotional support for exploring the world, and instead the daughter feels compelled to be the mother's reliable emotional support.
The daughter is vulnerable, her survival depends on her mother, so she has no choice: either she obeys and satisfies her mother's needs, or she rebels.
You can talk about the exploitation of a daughter when the mother forces her to play an adult role - a surrogate spouse, best friend, psychotherapist. When a daughter is asked to be an "emotional sink" for her mother, she can no longer rely on her mother to meet her natural needs for a developing child.
Daughters who are forced into parental roles - "daughter-mothers" - may respond to these dynamics in different ways.
- “If I behave very well (obediently, quietly, I don’t ask for anything), my mother will finally notice me and take care of me.”
- "If I am strong and protect my mother, she will notice me."
- "If I give my mother what she needs, she will stop hurting me."
As we mature, we can begin to transfer this dynamic to other people. For example, on personal relationships: "If I'm good enough, he won't cheat." Or in the professional sphere: "If I work on weekends, I will become good enough and I will be promoted."
Immature mothers compete with daughters: who deserves more to have a mother? At the same time, the child learns that maternal care and love may not be enough for everyone.
Girls grow up with the idea that there is very little love, approval and support in the world and that they need to work tirelessly to earn these precious gifts
As they mature, they attract situations in which this pattern is reproduced.
(All this is equally characteristic of boys who are forced to perform parental functions in the family.)
Childhood has been stolen from "daughter-mothers". The daughter does not receive confirmation of her self-worth as a person; she is praised only when she performs a certain function (relieves the mother of pain).
Mothers expect their daughters to listen to complaints about their problems, and then ask them to calm them down and calm their adult fears and anxieties. The daughter may be given the responsibility of saving her mother from trouble, of cleaning up the physical or emotional consequences of her mother's actions. She may be regularly called upon as a referee or "problem solver".
At the same time, the mother informs her daughter that she, the mother, is weak, bends under the weight of worries and cannot cope with life. The daughter learns that her natural childhood needs are "too" for her mother and blames herself for the very fact of her existence.
The little girl gets a clear message: you don't have the right to have needs and you don't have the right to demand attention and support just because you are.
The role of a "good girl" comes with numerous and at first glance tempting bonuses. For example, a daughter can be praised and supported when she acts like a protector of her mother, saves her and comforts her. The child gets used to this role, it gives him a sense of control in an unpredictable environment. As adults, mother-daughters may yearn for this role and its benefits.
It happens that a mother will push her daughter away or humiliate her if the daughter expresses her needs.
Growing up, the daughter begins to fear that her mother "gets upset easily" and may hide her true self from her mother, fearing that something will happen to her if she finds out. Mothers feed this fear by pretending to be victims; it seems to the daughter that she will disturb the maternal peace if she dares to show her individuality.
This can lead to an unconscious installation: “Something is completely wrong with me. My true self hurts those around me."
Although such daughters are a projection of a "good mother" to their mothers, they can also become a projection of a "bad mother". Such a scenario can play out when an adult daughter is ready to emotionally separate from her mother. The mother unconsciously equates her daughter's separation with her own mother's alienation and may react with infantile rage, passive resentment, or hostile criticism.
Mothers who exploit their daughters in this way often say to them, "How dare you accuse me!" or "Oh, you ungrateful!" - when the daughter expresses dissatisfaction with their relationship or even just wants to discuss it. A mother who has deprived her daughter of her childhood and made her emotionally self-serving often becomes furious at the mere thought that her daughter even dared to offer to discuss the dynamics of their relationship, and reacts with aggression.
Such mothers do not want to know the truth about their involvement in the pain of their daughters, because it is too painful for them. Most likely, they do not want to know the truth about how their relationship with their mothers affected them. "How dare you blame your mother!" - these words are needed in order to arouse a sense of shame in the daughter and shut her up, preventing her from telling the truth about the pain that she had to endure.
If we women want to regain our strength, we must be willing to accept that our mothers are truly responsible for the pain we experienced as children, but that we as adult women are responsible for healing those wounds.
The concept of "power" refers to the ability to cause intentional or unintentional harm. The mother may not be aware that she intentionally harmed her daughter, may not want to admit it, but it is she who is responsible as an adult in relations with the child. The daughter is left to recognize that she has the right to experience pain.
If this does not happen, there will be no recovery from trauma.
Realizing the extent of the suffering you experienced as a child is painful and unpleasant, but without it you will not see freedom
to the root cause. Patriarchy drains women emotionally to such an extent and causes them such a severe lack of support and social approval that, when they become mothers, they turn to their little daughters for support, recognition and approval. But small children cannot satisfy this hunger. At the same time, for many generations, innocent daughters sacrifice themselves and lay on the altar of motherly suffering and hunger in the hope that one day they will become “good enough girls.” They harbor the infantile hope that if the mother is “nourished”, she will eventually begin to nourish the daughter. But this doesn't happen. There is only one way to get the nourishment your soul needs, by beginning the process of working through your mother's trauma, by affirming your self-worth, and by recognizing that your life is yours alone.
