Masterbating for hours

Understanding Compulsive Masturbation - Specifically Designed to Offer Treatment for Sexual Behavioral Problems

The person who masturbates to the point of injury presents some specific clinical challenges. The etiology of the compulsive masturbator is complex. As with other clients we see for sexually acting out behaviors, there was often a history of shame, abuse, and neglect in their family of origin. Many clients who engage in compulsive masturbation recall beginning the behavior at a very early age as their only form of respite and escape from an environment filled with fear, secrecy, and trauma.

For the compulsive masturbator who does so to the point of injury, the analytical aspects of self-harm are varied. Often, the person describes a sense of dissociation and depersonalization. Engaging in self-harm allows the person to simultaneously dissociate from their overwhelming anxiety and emotional pain, while at the same time feeling some sense of “aliveness” through their physical pain. Following the masturbatory self-harm episode, the person has a cathartic flood of endorphins that may provide a “numbing” effect.

Of particular interest in examining this form of self-harm behavior is to look at the associated neuropathways. The arousal neuropathway is about pleasure and intensity. One of the most common methods of stimulating arousal pathways are high-risk sex, which masturbating to the point of injury would be included in. The numbing neuropathway produces a calming, relaxing, soothing, or sedative process. Masturbation creates an analgesic experience in the brain.

The fantasy neuropathway focuses on escape through obsession, preoccupation, and ritualization. At the core of such obsessions is a governing fantasy that may involve the ultimate escape from their internal psychic world flooded with the pain, shame, and trauma of their early family of origin experiences.

Combining the arousal, numbing, and fantasy pathways together creates a powerful neurochemical package for the client who masturbates to the point of injury. They are able to achieve high states of arousal through masturbation. When the physical activity becomes painful through repetition, cutting, or the combination of inserting physical objects to cause pain, the client achieves a high state of arousal followed immediately by numbing and fantasy.

Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the overproduction of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine, and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when a client compulsively masturbates.

For the client engaging in compulsive masturbation, they often experience problems with concentration and memory. This is a dangerous side effect of compulsive masturbation and signals that the brain is being over drained of acetylcholine. This behavior can also drain the motor nerves, neuro-muscular endings, and tissues of acetylcholine and replace it with too much stress adrenalin which is where memory loss, lack of concentration, and eye floaters come from. To fight these symptoms, the chemical levels in their body needs to be balanced.

What Happens if You Masturbate Too Much?

Looking back on the pandemic, when social distancing and stay-at-home orders took IRL sex off the table, you might have started masturbating more than you ever have before. (What else was there to do?) While there are clear benefits to masturbation—you’re not going to get a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or accidentally impregnate your partner—you may now be wondering if you're in the habit of masturbating “too much.”

After all, excessive masturbation doesn’t have the best connotation. When we think of guys who masturbate every day, we think of pubescent boys hiding out in their locked rooms, attempting to break their daily “high record. ” We don’t think of successful, grown men in loving relationships.

The truth, however, is there’s really no such “thing” as excessive masturbation. "Some people masturbate more than others," according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine. "There is no 'normal' frequency. Some do it daily, some weekly, and some rarely. Some never do." While 27 percent of 30-to-39-year-old men masturbate once a week to a few times a month, that number varies quite a bit by age, according to a 2009 survey of 2,500 American men.

“However often you masturbate, it’s not a problem until it starts affecting your life in negative ways,” says Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC, a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical counselor.

But that doesn't mean that it can't pose a problem, particularly if it interferes with your everyday life.

So when does a harmless masturbation habit turn into an issue? Here are the physical and psychological signs that you may need to give your boner a bit of a breather.

1) You hurt yourself.

Some guys masturbate so often that they actually hurt themselves, says Tobias Köhler, M.D., a urologist at Southern Illinois University. These injuries could be mild (e.g., skin chafing) or a more serious condition like Peyronie’s disease, or scar tissue buildup in the shaft of your penis that can result from using too much pressure while stroking, Köhler explains.

This may sound obvious, but if you’re masturbating so often that you're hurting yourself, you need to cut back, he warns.

2) Your job suffers.

If you can’t complete a work task because you can’t stop thinking about masturbating, that’s when it becomes an issue. If you’re consistently watching porn at work or are you’re late to a meeting because you were masturbating in the bathroom, then you likely have a problem.

3) Your friendships suffer.

Do you cancel on friends because you'd rather stay home and masturbate? Are they getting annoyed by your constant flakiness? Then your masturbation habits could potentially be an issue.

We want to be clear: There's nothing wrong with reserving a night to get down with yourself. That's all well and good, and in fact, feel free to mark that in the calendar now! The cause for concern is when your need to jerk off has a clear negative effect on your relationships.

4) Your sex life suffers.

Some guys who masturbate a lot use one specific type of stimuli—say, certain categories of porn coupled with specific hand movements. When it comes time for them to actually have sex, they find that they can’t recreate the same type of excitement, Dr. Köhler explains.

Basically, if you watch the same porn or use the same hand motions every time you masturbate, it teaches your brain and body to get off that way and that way alone. If you're having sex with a real-life partner, this could cause serious problems, both in terms of keeping it up and getting erect in the first place. “If that happens, you have a problem that needs to be addressed,” says Köhler.

5) You always think about masturbation.

You wake up wanting to masturbate. At lunch, your mind wanders to your favorite porn scene. Your commute home is almost unbearable, because you just want to sit on the couch with a beer and PornHub.

If any of this sounds familiar, and you often find yourself distracted by thoughts of when or how you’re going to yank it next, that’s a strong indication you have a problem, Drake says.

Pekic//Getty Images

If you realize you have a masturbation problem, what should you do about it?

“There’s nothing unhealthy or problematic with masturbating,” Drake says. “But if it becomes detrimental to your life, then you need to treat it like you would any other harmful habit. ” That means doing one of two things: a) cutting yourself off cold turkey, at least for the time being; and b) adopting more of a “harm reduction” approach by setting limits for yourself—for example, making a rule to only masturbate at night.

Considering you probably don't want to give up solo orgasms for the rest of your life—masturbation is, after all, an integral part of any healthy sex life—you'll probably want to opt for the latter approach. Set rules for yourself and see if you can adhere to them. If you can't, and you find yourself slipping back into harmful old habits, consider seeing a therapist, as there might be a deeper psychological issue at play.

Bottom line? Indulging in a little self-love every now and then is fine. It's only when it gets in the way of your actual life—or your actual sex life—that it becomes a problem. But if it’s not negatively interfering with anything, then go ahead and masturbate to your heart’s content!

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Melissa Matthews

Health Writer

Melissa Matthews is the Health Writer at Men's Health, covering the latest in food, nutrition, and health.

Zachary Zane

Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.

What is a mastermind and how to organize a mastermind group

To solve problems that you won't tell your friends and family about, gather your own mastermind. It is a group of people who come together to support and help each other. We tell you how to organize it

What you need to know about mastermind:

  1. What is
  2. People in the mastermind group
  3. How
  4. works
  5. Principles for success
  6. How to find mastermind
  7. How to organize remotely
  8. How to evaluate effectiveness
  9. Helpful Hints

What is Mastermind

Mastermind is a group format of like-minded people who meet regularly to support each other and help with personal and professional problems.

For example, if you lose your job, group members will help you create a new resume, share contacts, and recommend you to people you know. nine0003

Here you can share personal problems and thoughts that you do not want to discuss with relatives or friends. You will be supported, accepted and offered non-violent help. At the same time, they will expect the same from you. Mastermind is a mutual improvement group.

Some groups meet to solve a specific problem. For example, you are starting a new project. You select people with positive experience who will help you avoid mistakes and bring the project to launch. After the problem is solved, such groups are disbanded. nine0003

Mafia members have funded or run several of the world's largest technology companies. Fleximize talked in detail about the composition of the PayPal Mafia and their relationships

Other mastermind groups support each other constantly. In such groups, people work on their goals as a team. Everyone invests in the success of other participants, supports, shares experience and resources.

For example, PayPal Mafia is an association of former founders and employees of PayPal, including Elon Musk, founder of SpaceX and Tesla Motors, Peter Thiel, president of Clarium, and Reed Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn. nine0003

The idea of ​​mastermind was proposed by Napoleon Hill. He studied successful Americans: Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Theodore Roosevelt and interviewed more than 500 people to find the secret to success. In his books The Law of Success and Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill described the idea of ​​a group of people working together to help and support each other. Modern historians have criticized Hill for deceit and fraud, and in 2019 Gizmodo called him "the greatest fraudster of all time". At the same time, the concept of mastermind groups turned out to be working and took root in many countries. nine0003

Hill described the concept of the mastermind group in 1928, but such groups had existed before. In 1727, Benjamin Franklin organized the Junto Club of 12 members. Club members gathered on Fridays to share their discoveries, discuss politics, morality and philosophy.

The more carefully the goals of the participants are formulated, the easier it is to choose formats to support these goals. For example, invite an expert or use brainstorming (Photo: Natalia Yadrentseva)

Mastermind group is your “personal board of directors” that will help you achieve your goals, gain new experience and support in difficult moments. Here is how it will be useful:

  • Mutual support. Group members will support you despite failures and will not laugh or downplay problems. Support, safety and understanding in the group is built on the reciprocity of all participants, so the same will be expected of you.
  • Other points of view. nine0051 The different points of view of the participants in the mastermind group will help you see problems that you did not notice before. Feedback from other people may not be pleasant, but it will give a new vision of the situation and opportunities.
  • Resources. Each group member will have a different set of skills and contacts. By asking for help, you can find suitable competencies in other people to solve your problems. Conversely, offer your skills, experience and connections to help the rest of the group. nine0008
  • Networking and promotion. You will meet new people and get useful contacts that will help you grow your business, find a new job or like-minded people. You can promote projects and profiles of each other. For example, group members will talk about your blog or product on their social networks, and you will talk about them.

What kind of people are needed for a mastermind

A mastermind group consists of five to eight people. In such a composition, there are enough people and life experiences - in a large group they will be too different. Group members should be about the same level: similar income, position in society, education, so that no one is jealous or looked down on. nine0003

The group should not have the same people, competition for the same clients or projects. We need participants with different backgrounds, experiences and worldviews. The difference in life experience helps to find optimal solutions, but if people are too different, the dialogue may not work. Try to choose people from different fields of activity. So each of them will bring ideas and thoughts that are different from the others. Here is an approximate composition of such a group: an entrepreneur, a designer in a large company, a sales manager in a small company, a freelance programmer and a photographer in a studio. nine0003

Different composition of the group improves its productivity. According to the womanonoards study, teams with mixed compositions at the strategic level of management contribute to a more active growth in business value, or hold back the fall during periods of crisis (Photo: womanonoards)

At the same time, the relationship between the group members should be approximately the same level. No need to take relatives or colleagues, otherwise you will not be able to fully trust each other. nine0003

How mastermind works

Group members gather in a quiet, cozy place: apartment, coworking or office. You can call via Google Meet, Zoom or Skype, and meet in person several times a year. One meeting lasts about four to five hours.

First, the participants exchange news for five to seven minutes per person. Everyone tells what happened in his career, self-development, personal life, health. Participants then propose issues and topics for discussion that have accumulated since the previous meeting. nine0003

What can you choose as a case per group:

  • specific tasks you need help with;
  • difficulties in work or study;
  • building a career, educational or other life strategy;
  • everyday problems: cleaning or finding a place to live;
  • questions about money;
  • personal relationships;
  • life goals;
  • physical and psychological health. nine0008

Each person is allocated 20-30 minutes. During this time, he talks in detail about his problem or idea, asks for advice or shares plans. Then the rest of the group gives him five to ten minutes of feedback. The person whose problem has been discussed should draw up a plan of action and share it with the other participants. The group then moves on to the next problem.

If you scheduled a meeting for four hours, it will end when the time expires. Problems that have not been discussed are transferred to the next time. At a new meeting, the participants talk about what they did or did not manage to do from the planned plan. nine0003

Principles and basic rules for the success of a mastermind group

The concept of a mastermind group differs from mentoring or friendly conversations in a strict format. Participants must take meetings seriously and keep the principles of mastermind in mind.

  • Trust. Group members trust each other as much as possible. Maintain confidentiality to ensure trust. At the first meeting, sign a non-disclosure agreement. Say that for its violation the participant will be expelled from the group. nine0008
  • Do not interrupt. All group members are equal. Everyone gets the same amount of time and attention. Do not interrupt the speaker or interfere in the discussion unless you have a specific question. Write down your thoughts so you can express them at the right time.
  • Meet regularly. Group members regularly attend meetings and do not miss them without a good reason. Keep track of your schedule and plan ahead. If participants are consistently late, come up with penalties. Let the latecomer treat everyone with food, pay for coworking or a program for calling. nine0008
  • Select a moderator. Moderator - a person from the group or an invited expert. He makes sure that the meetings do not turn into gatherings, are non-conflict and end with a result for each participant. The moderator encourages everyone to work at the peak of productivity. If members do not want to be honest with themselves or others, the group will stall. In this case, the moderator will remind you that asking for help is normal, this is growth above yourself.
  • nine0007 Fix. Group members write down their thoughts and ideas that come up during the meeting. If your problem is solved, make an action plan, fix it and share it in the group chat. This will help structure the knowledge in your head and start acting. Recordings can be made in Google Documents, Notion, Trello, and other programs.

How to find the right mastermind

If you want to start your own mastermind group, start with a goal. Choose a specific aspect of your life that you want to improve. For example, to develop professional skills in order to take on more expensive and interesting projects. nine0003

Make a list of friends and acquaintances with similar values. Tell them about the format of the mastermind group and invite them to join. If there are few such people, tell us about the creation of your group in social networks. Go to mastermind dating meetings that are looking for people for mastermind groups. For example, such events are held at the Kocherga rationality center in Moscow, and the Random Coffee project gathers online groups for entrepreneurs and IT specialists with the support of experts.

Julien Gordon and his team have organized over 100,000 mastermind groups around the world. In his talk, Gordon talks about how coaches and communities will change the world

Together with your group, come up with and write down the ground rules and principles. Remember about mutual assistance and respect. Sign a non-disclosure document, create a group chat in a convenient messenger and schedule your first meeting.

How to organize a mastermind remotely

Yulia Sadovnikova, head of the Retail practice at the Russian office of Spencer Stuart, believes that mastermind works better when participants communicate in person. Due to the pandemic, we do not know when we will return to safe in-person meetings. At the same time, it is important to change right now in order to enter a new round of development and win after the peak of the crisis. The mastermind group format helps generate ideas for these changes, so it's important to adapt it effectively to the new reality. nine0003

Julia shared the algorithm and key principles of organizing a remote mastermind group, which she developed and uses together with her colleagues.

  • Check…your channel seven times. Incorrect communication tools and a slow connection channel are obvious things that often get in the way of effective group communication. Make sure you choose a convenient and secure communication channel. Try several video calling services and programs in advance with other participants. nine0008
  • Seeing each other is critical. In the current climate, it's important to have video calls, not calls. People are dispersed physically, subject to stress, their attention is scattered. Without a camera, the focus will blur even more. To make remote meetings useful, arrange with your group to use cameras.
  • People are greeted by clothes. This principle remains true - people form an opinion about you by appearance. Formal wear helps keep you on your toes and contributes to the work of the mastermind group. If you are dressed very relaxed, it will be more difficult. You don't have to wear suits, but having roughly the same business casual style is important. Put on trousers, a shirt or a simple sweater without prints, this will be enough. nine0008
  • "How much to hang in grams?" The clarity of the agenda and action plan is very important. Carefully prepare topics and questions, think through possible objections and conflict points, provoke correct disputes. It is the polarity of opinions and respectful disputes that give rise to new meanings in the mastermind group.
  • Facilitation. Take the time to understand where you are with the group now, what you got, what you achieved, what didn't work out. This will help to find solutions faster, and all group members will be in the same cognitive and emotional state. Do not think for someone, clarify everything. It's better to over-communicate than under-communicate. nine0008
  • Check-in and check-out when meeting with a group. People can remain out of the meeting with attention and emotions, so you need to “bring yourself” into any conversation. Before the meeting, check-in, do not rush into brainstorming on important topics right away. Ask the group members how they feel, what their attention is focused on in principle. It looks like a "check-out" at the end of the meeting. Find out from each participant: with what he leaves the meeting, what ideas, steps and actions he takes to work until the next time. nine0008
  • You and I are of the same blood. Participants must understand why they are in the group, why they make time for meetings and follow generally accepted rules. What is important is the equal level of people in the group and approximately the same length of time in the respective roles. For example, Julia and her colleagues often organize mastermind groups of the CEOs of the largest companies in various industries. In such groups, participants should be from companies that are similar in size, business complexity, and context. At the same time, the duration of work in the role of CEO should not differ several times. nine0008

How to evaluate the effectiveness of a mastermind group

Coach, mastermind expert and strategic development consultant Natalya Yadrentseva believes that each participant evaluates the effectiveness of the group's work.

Some indicators can be measured. For example, a person joins a mastermind to realize their idea or create a new product. The result may be a test of the idea for viability or the first sale. There are also indirect indicators. For example, the lifetime of the mastermind group. There are groups that continue to meet regularly for years. This speaks to the value the participants receive. nine0003

How to increase trust between members

To increase trust between group members, Natalya Yadrentseva suggests using three tools.

Conduct a motivational interview to form a group. Ask questions to better understand each other. Here are sample questions that will help you open up your interlocutor:

  • What will be a breakthrough for you now?
  • How will you know that you have achieved a result?
  • Why haven't you reached this result yet? What stops? nine0008
  • What kind of support do you need?
  • Why do you want/wanted to join the group?
  • How can you be useful to other members of the group: skills, knowledge, strengths?

Voice stories and thanks. Personal stories bring participants together and better involve each other in life. An important part of such stories is gratitude. Set aside time at the end of the meeting for each participant to share: what he takes away from the meeting, what was useful for him and whom he wants to thank. Gratitude will help create an atmosphere of openness. nine0003

Use active listening, strong questions and mirroring. Members of the mastermind group share their problems in order to find solutions to the current situation, rather than complaining. Powerful questions and active listening help group members not worry about what others think of them. Share your ideas and mistakes to learn together. Mirroring - similar movements, facial expressions, intonation with the interlocutor help to win over the interlocutor.

Top 5 useful tips

  1. If you find it difficult to choose a problem, ask yourself the Hamming questions: “What is the most important problem in my life?”, “Why is it not being solved?”.
  2. Prepare case studies before the meeting.
  3. Chat on an easy-to-use platform to share useful links and quick tips.
  4. If you are not sure about the composition and format of the group, arrange a trial meeting.
  5. Try not to miss or cancel meetings.
  6. nine0023

    To organize your own mastermind group

    1. State the goals you want to achieve with the mastermind group.
    2. Think about what kind of people you need, what kind of skills, experience, values ​​they have. Make a list of potential group members and resources to find them.
    3. Think of the principles and rules of the group. Sign a non-disclosure document.
    4. Choose a communication channel: a program for calls and correspondence, find places for personal meetings. nine0008
    5. Select a moderator or invite an expert to the first meeting. Get to know each other so you can understand each other better.
    6. Record the results of the first meeting and share them in your group chat. Pick a date for your next meeting, prepare for it, and remember how the group works.
    7. Work out the structure of the meeting, work out the timings and work with the moderator. Revise the principles and rules as needed. Improve yourself and help others. nine0008

    “Girls don't pay attention to me. How to start a relationship? — “Family and School”


    “Girls don't pay attention to me. How to start a relationship?

    Vitaliy, I have two news for you, both of which are good, if you consider them carefully. The first is that if there is no relationship, then they are not needed. Something else is needed, not sexual interaction with the opposite sex.

    Based on the wording of your letter, the conflict looks more like "I want it - they don't give it." Pay attention: you put the emphasis on the fact that these girls do not want to communicate with you, they do not talk to you. nine0003

    That is, their responsibility - “what exactly am I doing wrong?” - don't really consider it. In fact, there can be a million options here, but only if you take responsibility for yourself. If you continue to refuse her, there are no options: you will have to wait for a girl who will take you into her own hands and do everything herself, despite any circumstances.

    I recommend that you go to a psychological group with your request. In a group format, especially if the group is mixed - that is, there are girls there - the issue will be much easier to resolve. It is possible that anxiety - "will it work this time?", And resentment in advance - "and you will reject me too" - all this can guide your behavior. And be the reason for failures. nine0003

    Anxiety and anger are what blocks sex. Just imagine: would you yourself be interested in a girl who is angry at you from the doorway and throws barbs at you or runs away from you in fear?

    You would either decide that you shouldn't get involved and that what is happening is at least strange, or you simply would not have had time to consider her. There are, of course, other options for relationships - when tenderness, intimacy, sex and aggression inherent in couples come gradually - through friendship.

    But this happens with people of a special doubting temperament, for whom a pause is vital before making a decision. For the rest, another magic normally works: we like each other, we want to be in a pair, go ahead! However, "for a long time" does not seem to suit you, you do not follow the path that has been laid through friendship. nine0003

    You know, it's not often that a woman takes the initiative openly. And then you need the first step from a man. By itself, the conversation will never go in this direction at all. Someone should already say: "I like you, let's get closer, the two of us will be fine."

    And if you expect such an initiative from girls, think about it, maybe they also expect it from you? And do you choose those in whose worldview there is such an option - to openly express sympathy? And do you really want a relationship - when people go towards each other? Or do you want to be seduced more? nine0003

    And if you are really offended and worried, then you should go to a psychotherapist. Work for a long time, create an alliance with him, learn to endure relationships with him, speak out your resentment and anxiety - they will be in a relationship with a therapist too.

    Because we're talking about broken attachments: the point is that most people in these situations don't need a partner, but a parent. And this story in most cases is about psychological trauma from early childhood.

    The second news is that the problem is solved, you just need to find what you are really looking for. Most likely, in working with a psychotherapist, it will be possible to restore the ability to independently realize that need that is not actually closed. And with which you go to the girls. And to the unspoken presentation of which they respond to you by setting boundaries: we are just friends with you, without erotic overtones. nine0003

    “If the girl is never paid to me, then I am





    · 9000

    I work, I walk, I read 19 Nov 2021

    No, there will definitely be, I have a beautiful girlfriend, but I’m not beautiful at all, and I don’t have rich parents, etc. An ordinary guy, he didn’t believe before that this was possible, therefore all in front i))

    Comment answer… Comment…

    Sergey Setkeev


    I work in a carpentry. I make wooden ladders. Worked in the Church of Scientology. Was… 27 ​​Oct 2019

    Come on!. It has long been established that everything is decided by the smell. Sweat smells like adrenaline, pheromones are hormones. They confirm your satisfaction with life and purposefulness. In general, they don’t like how you think and what you smell like because of it ...)) Change your lifestyle, do some business, sports ..

    sergey ivanov

    July 13, 2021

    Sergey Sekeyev give the grandmothers on the bench such stupid advice. The dude writes about a specific problem, and you gently ... Read more

    Comment on the answer ... Comment ...

    Dmitry Zangiev


    Editor, cameraman, musician 30 Oct 2019

    does not shine to find a soul mate, because I'm a freak. And then I found it 🙂 I saw my best friend hugging his girlfriend, and a feeling of utter loneliness devoured me from the inside. nine0003

    At that time, I weighed about 140 kilos, hardly brushed my teeth and dressed like hell. But I had a trick up my sleeve: charisma and a sense of humor. So, I… Read more

    Baron Hotis

    December 3, 2021

    Best answer!

    Comment on the reply… Comment…

    Artem Ivanov


    Travel around the world and share stories 27 Oct 2019

    Maybe it means that you are too driven, and the girls feel it?;) you know how it happens, people do not notice any shortcomings until we begin to broadcast them with our nervousness and obsession with them. nine0003

    Appearance, no matter how trite it may be, is not the main thing. It can matter in the first moments of communication, but there are many qualities that can block the outside.

    Dmitry Zangiev

    October 30, 2019

    Plus, I mind

    Comment on the answer ... Comment ...

    Lamia Blut


    July 21, 20000

  7. Przdnovo, possibly in the purpose, but nevertheless. You see, conclusions about "Why", it is better to do after direct evidence from the girls. Maybe you just screwed yourself up? We look, if we are normal from the standpoint of foundations and so on, at the very essence of a man. We are looking for this feeling, which cannot be conveyed in any other way. And if it’s just dullness nearby, then it’s hard ... Read more

    Comment answer… Comment…

    Inga Ivanova

    2,0 K

    Hello. I already wrote that I do not have access to answers to the questions asked in this… 27 ​​Oct 2019

    Doctor, do not flatter yourself. Notice how you wrote: "because of not the most (!) Beautiful (!) Appearance." And what, only guys with the most beautiful appearance have girls? Come on, there are guys with special (that is, with genetic features) appearance who have a lot of girls. Because they level everything with their interest in life and indestructible humor. And you about “not the most beautiful ... Read more


    April 30, 2020

    What do you think I can do if I know in advance that I need a relationship with a girl for a while and. .. Read more

    Comment answer… Comment…

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    Share your experience and knowledge

    Log in and answer the question

    The lack of female attention bothers me so much and I don't know what to do about it : offmychest

    Honestly guys, I'm very upset. I'm 21, still a virgin, never kissed a girl, and all I have are girlfriends who will never see me for anything but this, a good friend. What worries me is that all my friends are sexually active and can easily/have options to attract girls while I struggle to even spark girls' interest. This is such a pathetic post for me but this is really how I feel, I feel bad and sad knowing that the reason I get upset all the time is because I am horny 24/7 and can't get some, no speaking of getting ANY attention at all, for example, yes I would like to have sex, but I would also like basic intimacy and to know what it's like to be wanted/genuinely wanted by someone. In my college career, any female attention I ever received was when a girl wanted answers for some school assignments, or help with her car, or any basic task, but they never wanted anything more, it makes me feel I feel like shit, how many girls will crave my bums, and here I am ... single, lonely and no one needs. nine0003

    A little about myself. I am overweight but nothing out of the ordinary (6ft, 230lbs). I am well dressed, hygienic and well groomed, and well behaved. I have my hobbies, so I'm not a complete loser without a life. I don't have social anxiety (although I'm afraid of rejection). I live alone, work as an engineer (still in school, this is my last semester before graduation) and I get paid very well. I started to focus on my weight, but I doubt that I am a virgin for this reason, since there are many chubby guys who have sex. My standards are not even that high. Girls that my friends would consider ugly, I consider beautiful. So, if my standards are not high, I am well-groomed, I smell good, I am well-dressed, I look good physically, and I have my own house, car and finances under control, why the hell am I objectionable to these women? I swear I don't make my accomplishments the center of my life and shove them down people's throats, but the reason I'm talking about this is because it amazes me how my unemployed, uneducated friends who are broke can get so much attention. and there are options, but I don’t have one! It's frustrating! nine0003

    The fact that Covid made school online doesn't help me when it comes to finding girls, I feel like my opportunities to socialize in college have dwindled due to Covid and as an engineer all my courses are literally just for guys … I also don't drink for personal reasons and don't use drugs because I get drug tested at work, as I work on many DOT projects. So if I don't drink or smoke I don't party because I don't have time and the whole career I'm focused on is mostly male how the hell am I supposed to date people, build relationship, and satisfy my desires? It's like dating/looking for love, or even casual sex seems like pure fantasy to me. Loneliness is awful, I'm so sad. I'm not trying to put women on a pedestal and honestly I don't want to, but the reality is... I'm very lonely, I feel unwanted and I don't know what to do about it, it's about me personally, I am." I feel so sad all the time and feel disgusted with myself after watching porn or masterbait. Like why am I watching this when I could be doing it like all my friends? Or why I masterbait when there are a lot of girls who are willing to do it (although obviously not with me). nine0003

    I don't really know what I'm getting at, but I just wanted to see if anyone could give me some advice. I'm neglected, I have a lot of sexual urges and desires, and I don't have the opportunity to date women as clubs/bars are not my cup of tea. It's not that I'm ugly or fat, but I have a lot more good things than bad things. But why is it so hard for me to attract someone. It makes me feel worse because I feel like everything is so one sided with me, I put a lot on the table, girls should see value in me, and the feeling and desire should be mutual between me and the girl, yet in my experience, no girl has ever shown mutual interest in me. I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect my confidence and self-esteem. I know I have achieved a lot in my life and I am only 21 years old, but the recognition of a woman means a lot to me, it is the one thing in life that I could never achieve. Do I need a woman's approval to succeed in life and have fun with friends and family? Absolutely not. But I'm starting to get depressed because I feel so worthless, invisible to these women. Whenever I post on social media there is always a girl swiping up and saying "your friend is cute" and when my friends post my photo no one ever wants to text me :(.

    Like I said I don't know what I'm getting at but I just feel overwhelmed by it and I really don't know what to do now that college is coming to an end and I'm not a party girl and in my future career is male dominated… don't know how to go out and meet people. I'm afraid of being rejected because the few times I've tried to flirt with girls it's always been "you're such a good friend" or "I'm not interested, I'm sorry" and that's okay, I know a woman isn't my obligation to love me I'm just saying that it would be nice if someone actually wanted me at least once in their life...

    Any advice is welcome.

    That's why women are not interested (even if you are a real prey)

    tip: date lauren gray

    If you've ever wondered:

    • "Why am I lonely when I'm such a prey?!"
    • "Why can't I ever take my passions and connections to the next level?"
    • “Why is my charm, good looks and sense of humor not enough to find the girl of my dreams? I see other guys there. They are no better than me." nine0420

    You, sir, have come to the right place. I'm going to show you why women aren't interested in taking the next step with you and how you can get the girl of your dreams. I'm going to give you the edge you need to be successful with women.

    And as a special bonus, if you look closely, you'll find that musical theater has taught me about men with tiny dicks, and WHY IT HAS TO BE DANGEROUSLY IMPORTANT TO YOU.

    Dive in!

    Dear Lauren,

    I am a handsome guy so I know my appearance is not a problem but every time I try to talk to a girl I approach the girl, or try to switch to a new one dating level, it will never work. I am a funny guy, quite wise, very goal oriented and very sociable. But the bottom line is that I'm just not very good at "relationships" or dating in general. Could you help me with some tips on how to be more successful with women? nine0420

    – Dustin


    Now you are Peacock.

    You flaunt every bright feather for the ladies to see and admire.

    Rate my beauty!

    Look how funny I am!

    Look at me, I'm so smart, purposeful and sociable!

    You have presented well, how convincingly you have proved why you are such a prey. nine0003

    So why aren't women interested?

    Your cock will never be big enough

    Whether it's good looks, a flashy personality, a gold watch, or a fancy car, if you try to win a woman over by showing her how big your notorious cock is, one of two things will happen:

    1. You will attract a girl who only wants you to be your "dick".

    This means that the moment some other guy dresses better, has more connections, a better watch, or an even more outrageous car, he'll lose interest in you and start chasing more shiny things. nine0003

    No matter how great you are, your "dick" will never be big enough to hold this woman.

    Good riddance! This woman is not material for a relationship.

    I am not saying that she is not worthy of love, but SHE does not believe in her worth. This causes her to pursue men who make her feel better. If these Peacocks think so highly of themselves and devote time to her, then SHE is worth it.

    But if you always look for your value outside of yourself, you will never enjoy a committed, exclusive and loving relationship. nine0420

    2. You turn off women who are really relationship material.

    Women with high self-esteem who are looking for meaningful relationships are not looking for Peacock.

    In fact, one of the most common women's troubles during dating is that the guy "shows off" himself all the time, instead of being interested in her.

    Peacock says, "It's all about me."

    This woman knows she deserves a man who says: "It's all about you. "

    I'll explain more in a minute, but first I want to explain something about attraction that will help you understand the situation better.

    What makes a man attractive (after the first five minutes)

    At first, your bright feathers and big "cock" can attract a woman's attention.

    Unfortunately, unlike in the animal kingdom, human women need more than a show to engage them in something deeper than superficial flirting. nine0051

    You have taken the first step down. What you need help with is “trying to take dating to the next level.”

    Men will know if they like a woman as soon as they see her, because for men appearance is an important part of attractiveness. You naturally assume that women work the same way. However, most of the time we value things differently.

    Big dicks and shiny toys mean little to women when it comes to relationships and attraction. (Tweet it!)

    A woman can recognize a man who is physically handsome and has impressive reputations AND STILL NOT BE ATTRACTED TO THEM.

    On the other hand, a woman may consider a man ugly, but in time she may well see him as the most handsome man in the world.

    Women need another piece of the puzzle in order to grow their attractiveness.

    How to Attract a Woman with Relationship Potential

    A date is not a job interview where you have to talk about your strengths and accomplishments in order to get a job.

    It's not so much WHAT you say, but HOW you listen.

    The simple act of listening to a woman and being interested in what she has to say can earn you what I call brownie points.

    The brownie points system is how a woman calculates her attraction to a man. nine0491

    • If you listen without interrupting, you get a point.
    • If you maintain eye contact, you get a point.
    • You ask her a question, you get a point.
    • If you open her car door, you will get a point.
    • Complimenting her will earn you a point.

    If you earn enough points, you will get a kiss. If you earn more, she will tell you her deepest, darkest secret. If you earn even more, she may fall in love with you. nine0003

    See how it works?

    It's not so much about showing off, but about paying attention to her.

    What Musical Theater Taught Me About Men with Tiny Cocks

    I spent years working in live theater, starring in roles such as Dorothy, Miss Hannigan and Veruca Salt. One thing I know for sure: when you stand in the spotlight, you are blind to your audience.

    It works great when they actually paid to see you sing and dance. But when it comes to dating and making a real human connection, this system fails. nine0003

    Because when you're busy showing her what a great catch you are, YOU stand in the spotlight and can't see, let alone appreciate and pay attention to the wonderful woman you're talking to.

    Learn more