Maintain self esteem meaning
Raising low self-esteem - NHS
We all have times when we lack confidence and do not feel good about ourselves.
But when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.
When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs.
When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.
What causes low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Our teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves.
For some reason, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you.
Perhaps you found it difficult to live up to other people's expectations of you, or to your own expectations.
Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a bereavement, can have a negative effect on self-esteem.
Personality can also play a part. Some people are just more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves.
How does low self-esteem affect us?
If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.
In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe.
In the longer term, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.
Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety.
You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping.
How to have healthy self-esteem
To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them.
You may tell yourself you're "too stupid" to apply for a new job, for example, or that "nobody cares" about you.
Start to note these negative thoughts and write them on a piece of paper or in a diary. Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts.
Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs, such as, "I'm really good at cryptic crosswords" or "My sister calls for a chat every week".
Write down other positive things about yourself, such as "I'm thoughtful" or "I'm a great cook" or "I'm someone that others trust".
Also write some good things that other people say about you.
Aim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you're OK.
You might have low confidence now because of what happened when you were growing up, but we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age.
Other ways to improve low self-esteem
Here are some other simple techniques that may help you feel better about yourself.
Recognise what you're good at
We're all good at something, whether it's cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we're good at, which can help boost your mood.
Build positive relationships
If you find certain people tend to bring you down, try to spend less time with them, or tell them how you feel about their words or actions.
Try to build relationships with people who are positive and who appreciate you.
Be kind to yourself
Being kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical.
Think what you'd say to a friend in a similar situation. We often give far better advice to others than we do to ourselves.
Learn to be assertive
Being assertive is about respecting other people's opinions and needs, and expecting the same from them.
One trick is to look at other people who act assertively and copy what they do.
It's not about pretending you're someone you're not. It's picking up hints and tips from people you admire and letting the real you come out.
Start saying "no"
People with low self-esteem often feel they have to say yes to other people, even when they do not really want to.
The risk is that you become overburdened, resentful, angry and depressed.
For the most part, saying no does not upset relationships. It can be helpful to keep saying no, but in different ways, until they get the message.
Give yourself a challenge
We all feel nervous or afraid to do things at times. But people with healthy self-esteem do not let these feelings stop them trying new things or taking on challenges.
Set yourself a goal, such as joining an exercise class or going to a social occasion. Achieving your goals will help to increase your self-esteem.
Where to find help for low self-esteem
Psychological therapies like counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help.
You can refer yourself for psychological therapies on the NHS.
If you prefer, you can talk to a GP first and they can refer you.
You could also find a private therapist. Make sure they're registered with a professional body.
Audio: unhelpful thinking
In this audio guide, a doctor helps you to replace negative thoughts with more positive thinking.
Media last reviewed: 2 March 2021
Media review due: 2 March 2024
Visit healthtalk. org to hear young people talking about their experiences of low self-esteem.
Video: psychological therapies for stress, anxiety and depression
Animated video explaining self-referral to psychological therapies services for stress, anxiety or depression.
Media last reviewed: 14 March 2022
Media review due: 14 March 2025
Improving Self-Esteem | Skills You Need
Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, or the opinion you have about yourself. Everyone has times when they feel a bit low or find it hard to believe in themselves. However, if this becomes a long-term situation, this can lead to problems, including mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. Some of the symptoms of low self-esteem can also be a sign of these problems.
Self-esteem is often the result of a lifetime of experiences, and particularly what happened to us as children. However, it is possible to improve your self-esteem at any age. This page provides more information about self-esteem, and some actions that you can take to improve it.
Some people think of self-esteem as their inner voice (or self-dialogue) – the voice that tells you whether you are good enough to do or achieve something.
Self-esteem is actually about how we value ourselves, and our perceptions about who we are and what we are capable of.
Self-esteem is not about ability
Self-esteem is often not associated with either your own ability, or other people’s perceptions of you.
It is quite possible for someone who is good at something to have poor self-esteem. Conversely, someone who struggles with a particular task might generally have good self-esteem.
People with good self-esteem generally feel positive about themselves, and about life. This makes them much more resilient, and better able to cope with life’s ups and downs.
Those with poor self-esteem, however, are often much more critical of themselves. They find it harder to bounce back from challenges and setbacks. This may lead them to avoid difficult situations. That can, however, actually decrease their self-esteem still further, because they feel even worse about themselves as a result.
- In the UK, sources of help include Childline, telephone 0800 1111, the NSPCC , and the National Domestic Violence Helpline, 0808 2000 247.
- In the US, Government advice is that you can call the Domestic Violence Hotline on 800-799-SAFE (7233).
A lack of self-esteem can therefore influence how people behave, not to mention what they achieve in their lives.
You may find it interesting to read our page The Importance of Mindset for more about how attitude influences behaviour.
Why Do People Experience Low Self-Esteem?
There are many reasons why someone might have low self-esteem. However, it often starts in childhood, perhaps with a feeling that you were unable to live up to expectations. It can also be the result of adult experiences such as a difficult relationship, either personal or at work.
Self-esteem, domestic violence and abuse
The victims of domestic violence and abuse often have low self-esteem.
This may be because their abuser has spent time belittling them and making them feel bad about themselves, reducing their self-esteem. However, it may also be that their low self-esteem made them more vulnerable to being abused because they did not feel that they were valuable.
Nobody should have to suffer from abuse or violence.
If you, or anyone you know, is in this situation, you should seek help.
Stressful life events, such as a divorce or bereavement, can also have negative effects on your self-esteem.
Improving Your Self-Esteem
There are a number of ways in which you can improve your self-esteem.
1. Identify and Challenge Your Negative Beliefs
The first step is to identify, and then challenge, your negative beliefs about yourself.
Notice your thoughts about yourself. For example, you might find yourself thinking ‘I’m not clever enough to do that’ or ‘I have no friends’. When you do, look for evidence that contradicts those statements. Write down both statement and evidence, and keep looking back at it to remind yourself that your negative beliefs about yourself are not true.
2. Identify the Positive About Yourself
It is also a good idea to write down positive things about yourself, such as being good at a sport, or nice things that people have said about you. When you start to feel low, look back at these things, and remind yourself that there is plenty of good about you.
In general, positive internal dialogue is a big part of improving your self-esteem.
If you catch yourself saying things like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m a failure’, you can start to turn things around by saying ‘I can beat this’ and ‘I can become more confident by viewing myself in a more positive way’.
To begin with you will catch yourself falling back into old negative habits, but with regular effort you can start to feel more positive and build your self-esteem as well.
3. Build Positive Relationships—and Avoid Negative Ones
You will probably find that there are certain people—and certain relationships—that make you feel better than others.
If there are people who make you feel bad about yourself, try to avoid them.
Build relationships with people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid the relationships that drag you down.
4. Give Yourself a Break
You don’t have to be perfect every hour of every day. You don’t even have to feel good about yourself all the time.
Self-esteem varies from situation to situation, from day to day and hour to hour. Some people feel relaxed and positive with friends and colleagues, but uneasy and shy with strangers. Others may feel totally in command of themselves at work but struggle socially (or vice versa).
Give yourself a break. We all have times when we feel a bit down or find it harder to maintain our self-belief.
The key is not to be too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself, and not too critical.
Avoid criticising yourself to others, because this can reinforce your negative views—and also give other people a (possibly false) negative opinion of you.
You can help to boost your self-esteem by giving yourself a treat whenever you succeed in doing something hard, or just for managing a particularly bad day.
5. Become More Assertive and Learn to Say No
People with low self-esteem often find it hard to stand up for themselves or say no to others.
This means that they may become over-burdened at home or at work, because they do not like to refuse anyone anything. However, this can increase stress, and make it even harder to manage.
Developing your assertiveness can therefore help to improve your self-esteem. Sometimes acting as if you believed in yourself can actually help to increase self-belief!
Our pages on Assertiveness provide more information about this, including how to improve your assertiveness.
6. Improve Your Physical Health
It is much easier to feel good about ourselves when we are fit and healthy.
However, people with low self-esteem often neglect themselves, because they do not feel that they ‘deserve’ to be looked after.
Try taking more exercise, eating well, and getting enough sleep. It is also a good idea to make time to relax and to do something that you want to do, rather than something that someone else expects you to do. You may find that simple changes like this can make a huge difference to your overall outlook.
You may like to read our pages on The Importance of Exercise, Diet, Health and Nutrition, What is Sleep? and The Importance of Sleep for more information. You might also like our page on Relaxation Techniques.
7. Take On Challenges
People with low self-esteem often avoid challenging and difficult situations.
One way to improve your self-esteem can actually be to take on a challenge. This doesn’t mean that you need to do everything yourself—part of the challenge might be to seek help when you need it—but be prepared to try something that you know will be difficult to achieve.
By succeeding, you show yourself that you can achieve.
This challenges your negative beliefs and will therefore improve your self-esteem.
Further Reading from Skills You Need
The Skills You Need Guide to Personal Development
Learn how to set yourself effective personal goals and find the motivation you need to achieve them. This is the essence of personal development, a set of skills designed to help you reach your full potential, at work, in study and in your personal life.
The second edition of or bestselling eBook is ideal for anyone who wants to improve their skills and learning potential, and it is full of easy-to-follow, practical information.
The Importance of Small Steps
It is very unlikely that you will go from poor to good self-esteem overnight.
Instead, you will probably find you make small improvements over a period of time. The key is to look over the long term, rather than day-to-day, and focus on the big picture, not the detail of how you felt at a particular moment yesterday.
When you feel good, or you do something good, celebrate it—but don’t beat yourself up if you occasionally slip back into negative patterns of thinking. Just pick yourself up again and try to think more positively. Eventually, this will become a habit and you will find that your self-esteem has quietly got better.
value in psychology. Self-esteem - what it is
How a person treats himself affects his relationship with other people and well-being in life. If he does not respect and appreciate himself, then the people around him will not do it. Lack of confidence, constant control of one's actions can be called indicators of a lack of self-esteem and self-esteem in relation to oneself. This leads to rejection of one's emotions, disruption of harmonious contact with other people, disappointment and dissatisfaction in oneself and one's actions. Can cause depression and mental disorders.
Why is there no self-respect?
To have self-respect means to accept yourself as a significant person. Self-respect gives inner peace and confidence. An important role in the development of self-respect and self-love is played by proper education, because self-esteem is formed from childhood. For example, incorrect phrases: "You must be a good boy (good girl)" or "You will be punished until you understand your unworthy act" lead to an incorrect model of adult behavior. From childhood, a person feels himself an unworthy person. Self-loathing is also possible. You can not say to the child and such phrases:
- you won't succeed;
- this activity is too much for you;
- he/she will do better;
- do something else;
- you don't have enough strength for that.
Examples of such upbringing lead to a lack of aspirations and self-doubt. A person will sacrifice his own interests for the benefit of others, and he himself will not be able to achieve goals or set them for himself. He will have to waste a lot of energy in vain and constantly feel dissatisfied.
If you are faced with comparing yourself with other children from childhood, you will never develop a sense of your own worth. Self-esteem will be underestimated, and the chances of a successful life are reduced to zero. The child needs to be explained that he is able to cope with everything if he wants to. That there is nothing that he has not learned.
Self-confidence, healthy self-esteem, the absence of the need to prove anything to anyone and the ability to calculate one's strengths will certainly form self-respect. When a person feels like a person, he will not allow himself unworthy behavior and disrespect for himself and his interests.
A self-sufficient person is
Low self-esteem in women
A woman's self-esteem wakes up when she begins to understand and appreciate her desires. Many mothers and wives are so absorbed in caring for the family that they do not leave time for themselves and their interests at all. They believe that an unprepared dinner or an untidy apartment will be the verdict of a bad hostess. There is a feeling of guilt, depressed mood and dissatisfaction with oneself. A woman must understand that she is not omnipotent, and she can have her own desires. You can't please everyone.
Without love for herself and her needs, she will not be happy and will not make others happy. The atmosphere in the family and the desire of the husband to return home depend on the good mood of the mistress of the house. The world will not collapse if a woman devotes a little time to herself. If you want a cake or chocolates - you need to please yourself with something sweet. The main thing is not to feel guilty about extra calories, because they are easy to lose by walking to the store for shopping.
A woman with signs of her own dignity has this behavior:
- 1. She is not shy about asking for help from men. There will definitely be someone who will help her out of this situation.
- 2. She strives to fulfill her desires. Do not hesitate to talk about them.
- 3. Her inner world is filled with love and harmony.
- 4. Wants and tries to look good. Spends money on cosmetics, salons and new clothes. She does this not because everyone else does it, but because she wants to.
- 5. Doesn't do anything against his will.
To some this will seem like a manifestation of selfishness, but one's own ego plays a minor role in this. This is respect and love for yourself, the desire to live life the way you want. A self-respecting woman never runs after a man and does not beg for love. She chooses to whom to respond to feelings and which fan is the most worthy. If a man treats her badly, she will not be in a relationship with him. Having chosen a worthy woman, she will devote her life to him, without limiting herself and without losing self-esteem. A self-respecting lady is filled with love and is able to fill her beloved with strength and energy, supporting him in all endeavors.
Man with dignity
A man's self-esteem lies in inner strength, self-respect, acceptance of himself and his desires. A man who respects himself will not prove anything to anyone. He does not need someone else's approval and it is quite difficult to offend him. But he will always take into account the opinion of another person, if he considers it useful for himself. Believes that self-respect should be based on equality. He does not infringe on the interests of others for the sake of indulging his own whims. He believes in himself and tries to give himself and his loved ones a decent life.
A self-respecting man does not engage in narcissism and does not behave like a capricious and infantile boy. Such a person knows how to make plans and foresee options for the development of events. Under any circumstances, he does not lose his composure. He has a cold mind and a warm heart. Adequately relates to his mistakes and does not make a tragedy out of it. A man understands that he is not a superhero, he has the right to make mistakes, and he needs rest.
A man who respects himself does not humiliate himself and does not humiliate others. He does not compare himself with anyone and does not allow people to do this. He does not admire or praise anyone, considering this an empty occupation. Trying to maintain his own dignity, he will never hurt the feelings of others. He knows how to distinguish vital issues from unprincipled ones, and when faced with other people's interests, he remains firm and calm. He does not suffer from pettiness and likes to take the initiative, if he is sure that he will enjoy it.
In relationships with a woman, he behaves with dignity, respects his beloved and listens to her desires. Protects and cares for her, always comes to the rescue and serves as a reliable support.
How to raise self-esteem?
In psychology, self-esteem is directly related to the attitude towards oneself . As much as a person loves himself, so he feels himself. To gain self-respect, you need to work on yourself and know the limits of your capabilities. Build healthy assertiveness and learn to refuse. In order to raise self-esteem, you must:
- 1. Know your strengths.
- 2. Strive for goals without relying on the opinions of others.
- 3. Take it easy on the shortcomings and continue to develop.
- 4. Remember victories for the sake of building self-respect.
- 5. Do not criticize yourself, but draw conclusions and calmly analyze the mistakes made.
- 6. Know how to praise and encourage yourself.
- 7. Don't compare yourself to others and keep your individuality.
Healthy self-confidence does not destroy relationships with other people and helps in life to achieve respect, prosperity and a high position in society.
To raise self-esteem, you need to learn to defend your opinion, follow desires and goals. Do not be afraid of obstacles, because they bring experience and make you stronger. Believe in your abilities and strengths, but do not refuse help. Friends and relatives will support if they love, appreciate and respect. It is better to stay away from ill-wishers, they undermine self-confidence, being envious and afraid of someone else's success.
Think about the meaning of the word "dignity." This is what every person has before being evaluated in one way or another from different possible points of view.
Dignity is a special moral and value category that determines respect and self-respect. This is one of the inalienable and non-transferable intangible benefits that belong to a person from birth (Article 150 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation). Self-esteem is not directly related to the results of his activities.
Human life is the greatest value, it follows that everyone has dignity, even if he does not know it. The concept of "dignity" is related to the concept of "honor", but they are not the same thing. Honor is an assessment of the moral and ethical qualities of a person by others. Honor can be deprived (for example, tearing off shoulder straps by military authorities, breaking swords over the head of representatives of the nobility and other similar acts). A person cannot be deprived of dignity.
Actions that degrade the dignity of a person (insult, slander) can be qualified as an administrative offense or even a criminal offense.
Self-respect is one of the necessary and normal personality traits. We can say that this is the quality of the human soul.
As you know, personality is determined by heredity, environment and upbringing. So, self-respect and self-esteem do not arise in a person by themselves. These qualities need to be nurtured. Moral people with these qualities, first of all, know how to respect others.
In general, the upbringing of self-esteem is a necessary component of the upbringing of a moral person. This must be taught and taught from childhood.
At the same time, one must understand that pride, self-respect and self-esteem are parts of the natural moral core of a person, which has nothing to do with a sense of self-worth. Self-importance is ephemeral, anyone who has ever been in really difficult circumstances for a sufficient amount of time understands this. A person with a normally developed self-esteem is not afraid to get into a stupid situation and is not afraid to be funny. He can always apologize to others for his erroneous actions, without experiencing a sense of damage in relation to his own person.
How to develop self-esteem?
This is not an easy matter, but it is not difficult to answer such a question. It is necessary that a person realizes himself as a person, so that he can look at himself from the outside, that is, he can understand how others see him. Of course, a person receives all this in one way or another in the process of his upbringing in human society.
Sometimes it happens that children in a certain period of their development try to compensate for the lack of self-esteem by striving for some formal achievements (good grades, exemplary behavior). It does not at all follow from this that such children do not have complex internal problems. By the way, good grades and behavior are not sufficient criteria for assessing the morality of a person. This should be understood by everyone who is professionally engaged in pedagogy in one way or another. Self-esteem develops on the basis of copying patterns of behavior, as a result of the influence of others.
How to maintain self-esteem?
To do this, you just need to remain a moral person, that is, to deal with people according to conscience, in accordance with universal moral concepts.
Perhaps no topic causes so many conflicting opinions and disputes as human dignity. In fact, this concept denotes the subjective attitude of the individual to himself. For many, in order to grow great self-respect, you must first reach extraordinary heights in life. People who have great demands on their personality often suffer from imaginary shortcomings and strive to improve themselves in many ways.
The formation of human dignity begins in childhood and continues through adolescence and adulthood. Human dignity is made up of many factors that can have a powerful impact on the self-esteem of the individual. In a number of cases, there is the fact that how much attention was paid to her in childhood. If parents spend a lot of time with the child, are interested in his mood, success, then gradually an awareness of his importance is formed in him. A mature sense of dignity is usually expressed in the desire to follow a given direction in life, to embody individual plans and dreams. Dignity has nothing to do with permissiveness.
Honor and dignity of a person
Honor and dignity are inalienable values of every self-respecting person. Several decades ago, the word "honor" was associated with the concepts of honesty and the ability to be sincere to the end. Today it has practically not changed and denotes the desire of a person to achieve his goals in a pure way through fruitful work on himself. An honest person acts with dignity towards himself and others, he will certainly apologize if he causes significant or minor inconvenience to others.
Dignity correlates with the concepts of self-importance and . In many situations, life itself often requires from the individual a great ability to maintain inner freedom and be independent. Honor and dignity are important components of an adequate perception of reality. When a person can look to the future with confidence, accepts his achievements that are available at this point in time, he becomes truly independent and happy. If there were no concepts of honor and dignity, it would be impossible to accept oneself as a person, self-realization. Dignity is the path to a fulfilling life. Without dignity, no development is possible.
Human dignity and freedom
How is dignity related to freedom? Is it possible to maintain dignity, being a dependent, driven person? Life practice shows that it is not. If a person is so insecure that he allows others to control his own life, he can hardly be called complete and happy ( read about ). But what does freedom mean and why is a person sometimes ready to fight for it not for life, but for death?
Freedom has always been recognized as the main value of the individual. Without it, it is impossible to grow dignity to a sufficient degree. If there were no freedom, all the achievements that a person has would ultimately be in vain. Everything we achieve, we do in order to develop our own individuality, to express ourselves to the fullest. And having dignity will help a lot here. Someone initially driven by the desire to gain the respect of others, others begin to be proud of themselves ( read about ). Be that as it may, the feeling of having freedom helps to develop dignity, to form self-confidence. In fact, it is impossible to act productively without awareness of one's own individuality. You cannot become happy for another or by realizing other people's dreams, and not your goals.
What situations call for dignity?
Sometimes in life you have to act quickly without thinking about the end result. No one can exclude the occurrence of unpleasant moments. In some cases, the presence of dignity can help to feel better, to cope with serious difficulties.
- Undeserved insult. When a person experiences an internal feeling of resentment, his whole being shrinks from the infringement of his own dignity. There is a feeling that you were offended undeservedly, in vain. This state is accompanied by strong indignation and often a desire to take revenge on the offender. There may be a state of internal devastation, fear, apathy, the appearance of anxiety, sleep disturbance. At the same time, honor and dignity also suffer and undergo significant changes. The dignity of the individual, for the most part, begins to waver. Being in a sense of resentment, it is impossible to feel whole. There is a feeling that the soul has been trampled on, often a person withdraws into himself and for some time refuses to communicate.
- Advocacy. In the case when it is necessary to stand up for oneself, to defend one's interests, dignity develops to a greater extent than in other cases. Passing through difficulties tempers the character, contributes to the formation of inner strength, will. Here the theme of honor and dignity comes to the fore. The spoken words mean a lot, so they are given special attention. When conducting a conversation with an opponent, it is extremely important not to return insult to insult and be sincere to the end.
- Conflicts within the team. Where, if not in a team, is a person most of the time? Often in this group of people there is a clash of interests, views, opinions. It will take great willpower and self-confidence to overcome significant ones every day, to seek compromises. The development of dignity will necessarily occur when a person learns to separate his own interests from public ones. It is necessary to develop your own strategy of behavior in conflict situations. This can take a lot of time. But having your own dignity is worth it!
How to develop self-esteem?
How much we value ourselves ( read about ) often depends on the attitude of those around us. Why is this happening? The fact is that when communicating with different categories of people, we form our opinion about them on the basis of our own impressions, and they do the same with respect to us. If a person projects inner stiffness, uncertainty into the external space, then those around him will subconsciously perceive this. It is known that one who does not love and does not value himself should not expect respect and recognition from others. Dignity must be preserved in any situation precisely because it allows you to feel significant and important. Without this feeling, a person will never dare to set high goals and strive to achieve them. Honor and dignity are the main components of any advancement, personal growth and success in general. The tips below will help build your sense of dignity. It is necessary to understand that the degree of its development depends directly on the person's sense of self, on how ready he is for significant changes in his life. Self-esteem, as a rule, is formed through systematic constructive work on oneself, recognition of one's uniqueness.
Find your own individuality
If a person does not treat himself with due attention and respect, he may not be fully aware of his own merits. Only having thoroughly studied your own personality, you can begin to realize the motives of your actions, fight fears, and prevent disappointments.
Are you sure that you are doing your own thing in life? Does the current position, career growth correspond to your ambitions, desires, aspirations? If not, then there is a serious need to think about it. Dignity is a necessary and necessary component that helps to cope with many difficulties, to realize one's uniqueness and uniqueness. Nothing is capable of creating such powerful internal protection for a person as honor and dignity. How a person treats himself directly depends on the attitude of the people around him. The formation of one's own individual view of things helps to feel significant, to take an important place in society.
At some point in life, each of us chooses his own professional path. This choice is dictated by both the internal needs of the individual and social expectations. The theme of honor and dignity is directly related to him. If a person, due to some circumstances, cannot take place in one or another area, then he will always feel his own worthlessness and emptiness. There is nothing to compensate for the gap in education. It is extremely important for a person to feel significant, to show his individual abilities and express himself in this or that activity. The dignity of the individual can be brought up through constant painstaking work on oneself.
Even a professional in his field from time to time feels the need to update his knowledge, to get new ones. Self-education is an integral part of the life of any person for whom a career and growth in the profession is of significant interest. The honor and dignity of a person are largely determined by the extent to which she was able to take place in her activities. Improving his skills, a person moves forward, strives to improve his condition, necessarily works on his character ( read about ).
The dignity of a person in this sphere of life can either be seriously affected or rise to unprecedented heights. If a person does not think about his dignity, then, most likely, serious problems in the profession will begin over time.
Avoidance of unpleasant society
It has long been noticed that being among people who can insult or humiliate negatively affects the formation of personality. If a person is surrounded by people who, in word or deed, will interfere with his self-realization, then soon he will feel unnecessary, devastated and depressed. Some individuals may inadvertently offend the dignity of a person, which causes the latter to feel a strong sense of resentment. Usually those people who offend others are those who themselves do not possess self-esteem. They take short-term joy in humiliating others, depriving them of their inner strength and sense of balance. Everyone should take care of themselves and avoid society, which can hurt dignity. Remember, we are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated.
Thus, the dignity of a person is an extremely important and significant topic that causes numerous disputes and rumors in society. If the concept of dignity did not exist, there would be no personality itself. Any personal growth and self-development is impossible without awareness of one's own value and significance. Dignity belongs to the category that is responsible for success and happiness.
A person's character is a set of moral categories and associated rules and norms of behavior. One of the main, pivotal ones are self-respect and feeling. They determine how self-sufficient and independent a person is, whether he is subject to external influences, including bad ones, whether he can resist his own negative impulses and instincts. Inner freedom, spiritual growth are also associated with this concept.
Self-esteem is a person's awareness of his own importance and adherence to a certain ethics of behavior based on self-esteem. On the one hand, this moral category belongs to the category of universal and individual. On the other hand, in different eras and for representatives of different social groups, there were their own concepts of honor and personal dignity. And what was considered humiliating and unacceptable for one time, in another, on the contrary, was perceived as a necessary and even obligatory norm.
Self-esteem is not innate. A person has to shape it and educate it in himself, often throughout his life. It is associated with such as self-confidence. We cannot be universal, equally good in absolutely everyone, or endowed with all possible talents at once. As a rule, nature in this regard uses an individual approach, so someone turns out to be an excellent mathematician, someone sings or writes excellent poetry, successfully heals the sick or creates a new super-smart technique. And it would be foolish for an individual and the people around him to demand that, for example, a good, competent accountant write novels at the level of Leo Tolstoy. Each person must learn to accept himself as he was created by nature, to respect in himself those abilities that he has, to which he is inclined. Such an approach will become the first link in the chain of self-education, a platform on which self-esteem will be formed.
Considering that we all come from childhood and it is there that all the most important qualities of the human personality are laid, then adults should be especially attentive and respectful to the child, combine reasonable, objective severity with sincere benevolence and interest in his spiritual and mental needs and needs . For example, if a girl dances with pleasure, is plastic and musical, she can be enrolled in a dance studio or a rhythmic gymnastics section, and if a boy has a clear penchant for technology, then a mathematical circle, educational games - just what will clearly benefit him. Those. if any abilities that are clearly traced in a small person will find support, will be cultivated and encouraged, then in adulthood this person will be able to hold on firmly and confidently, and his self-esteem will have a very real basis. After all, success in one sphere of being will entail faith in one's own strengths in other matters and spheres.
Rewarding the child should be reasonable. Along with moral support, it is necessary to cultivate endurance, self-discipline, and resistance to weaknesses. This is also one of the most important moments when a sense of dignity is formed.
Psychologists have long proved that a person with low self-esteem also has a low coefficient of self-esteem. There are many effective methods for lifting them, but the most important thing at the beginning of the journey is for a person to realize that it is no longer possible to live like this, it is necessary to change oneself, one's lifestyle and behavior. Understanding this fact as an urgent need is the first impetus on the path to correcting your flawed "I". And the second step is programming yourself for success. Then the self-esteem will begin. A person who is mature in this regard will demand proper behavior from himself and from those around him, will not allow himself unsightly deeds, and will try to meet high ideals and standards with his appearance and internal state.
Psychologists told how to cultivate self-esteem
MOSCOW, October 17 - RIA Novosti. A person's self-esteem does not depend on his material well-being: it can be much higher for a janitor than for an oligarch. However, for people with disabilities, the opportunity to work and earn money allows them to feel like a full-fledged member of society, experts and psychologists interviewed by RIA Novosti believe.
World Dignity Day, which is held annually on October 17 in more than 50 countries around the world, is designed to draw society's attention to the development of a sense of leadership and self-respect. In Russia, this event is held for the second time and it is expected that special events for this day will be held at educational sites in Moscow, St. Petersburg and Ulan-Ude.
You don't have to be an oligarch...
Every person has self-esteem, the only difference is that it is different for everyone, noted psychotherapist Konstantin Olkhovoy. “One of the main determinants of the size of a sense of dignity can be the size of the line beyond which a person is ready to go or not ready to go and considers it unworthy of himself. Some consider it unworthy to humiliate and offend other people, while others believe that they should not reckon with the opinion strangers," Olkhovoy said.
According to him, a sense of dignity is determined by the upbringing of a person. A janitor's self-esteem can be much higher than, for example, an oligarch's. “I think that the material side plays a secondary role here. It’s another matter if a person, for example, was brought up from childhood in such a way that only the rich can have self-esteem, then poverty for this person will have a determining factor,” the expert believes.
Olkhova believes that in order to cultivate the right sense of self-worth in a person, it is important not only to love the child, but also to respect his views. “Too often we forget that a child is an independent person, with his own problems and joys. And the more we respect our own children, the more self-esteem arises in the child. If the child sees that they are treated with respect to him, to other people , often this forms a sense of self-worth, which does not infringe on the feelings of other people, but supports oneself and others," Olkhovoy said.
A worthy upbringing
One of the main life lines in the development of a child is his relationship with his mother. In these relations, from early childhood, either a basic trust in the world or distrust is born, says Vice President of the Russian Society of Psychologists, Academician of the Russian Academy of Education, Professor Alexander Asmolov. "Any sense of dignity is based on trust in the world and faith in oneself," he said.
Asmolov recommends to all parents the work of Janusz Korczak "How to love a child" as a handbook for raising children.
He also believes that children should be taught responsibility for their actions from early childhood. "Love alone without the generation of responsibility will not lead to the formation of attitudes of self-esteem," the professor added.
A child should learn not only compassion from childhood, but also learn to be happy for the people around him, the psychologist explained.
"We know that children between the ages of 5 and 7 can have enough empathy for other children when they have an accident. However, children are very weak at rejoicing for other children. It is no coincidence that psychologists say: people can sympathize, but only angels," added the psychologist.
Independence and autonomy
According to Mikhail Novikov, project manager of the regional public organization of the disabled "Perspektiva" Mikhail Novikov, a person gains self-esteem when he feels self-sufficient and independent.
"A disabled person in Russia cannot fully feel independent, and it is independence that is the basis of self-esteem. Unfortunately, in our society there are a lot of barriers for people with disabilities that they constantly have to face. You always need to look for someone who will help: climb the stairs, go down the curb, get into the building. You constantly have to look for someone's help. And this hits dignity, pride, "Novikov believes.
Nikolai Morzhin, executive director of the regional public organization "Center for Curative Pedagogy", agrees with him.
"The level of self-worth of each particular person depends on the state of society as a whole. It is not so important here whether he has a disability or not," he is sure.
Novikov added that disabled people in Russia often lose faith in their abilities due to the lack of opportunities to find a job, to fulfill themselves.
"It's important to find something to do in life. Nothing boosts self-esteem like the opportunity to earn money. When you can invite your mother to a restaurant and pay for dinner, you rise not only in her eyes, but also in yours," says Novikov.
He also noted that the development of inclusive education, where children with disabilities can learn together with their healthy peers, will allow children with disabilities to realize their full potential.