Narcissism treatment self help


Self-Help for Narcissists: How to Stop Devaluing People

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Are you a self-aware and motivated narcissist who would like to have better relationships with other people? Are you puzzled about what you can do right now without extensive psychotherapy? Here is an answer that can help all of your relationships.

STOP DEVALUING PEOPLE

Sorry for shouting. I wanted to be sure that my main point was crystal clear and I had your attention. I recognize that stopping devaluing other people is easier said than done. Devaluing has been an all-purpose fallback coping mechanism for almost everyone with narcissistic adaptations. For most people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, devaluing other people has been the Swiss Army Knife of responses to many situations:

  • Feeling invisible? Make a joke at someone else’s expense.
  • Feeling angry about your day? Vent that negative energy when you get home and devalue your spouse or kids.
  • Feeling bored? Make fun of someone’s weight or taste in clothing.
  • Feeling attacked? Say something harsh and devaluing back that is aimed to hurt, get revenge, and teach the person a lesson.

Once you stop using “devaluation” as your all-purpose interpersonal tool for making you feel better, you will need to come up with other, less toxic ways of soothing yourself and getting attention. I will leave the details of how you might do that to your creativity.

Note: I am using the terms “narcissist,” and “narcissistic” in this post as shorthand for the much longer phrase: a person who has made a narcissistic adaptation to a childhood situation and who now manifests a pattern of responses that is generally called a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. No disrespect is intended.

5 Steps to Eliminating Devaluation

Even with the best of intentions, it is hard to simply stop devaluing other people. Usually achieving this goal requires breaking it down into smaller doable steps:

Step 1: Define Devaluing

Most narcissists do not recognize how many of their statements and behaviors are experienced by the people close to them as devaluing and hurtful. They may think that they are just being honest and everyone agrees with them, as when they point to someone on the street and say:

Can you believe she went out of the house looking like that?

Or: That waiter was so incompetent that I left him a dime for a tip and that was ten cents more than he deserved!

Short Definition of Devaluing: Words or behaviors that point out other people's inadequacies or which are meant to diminish their sense of importance and place them below you on some status hierarchy.

Step 2: Get a Second Opinion

Have an honest conversation with someone whose opinion you trust. Ask them what type of comments and behaviors they have heard you say or do that they consider “devaluing.”

Note: You need to focus here on whether something is devaluing—not if it is true or deserved in your opinion.

Step 3: Make a List

Make a list of the types of comments and behaviors your trusted friend told you are devaluing and keep reviewing it. Carry it with you. Add new things to this list as you become more aware of this issue.

Step 4: Do a Mental Rehearsal

Devaluing other people is a habit. It is something you have been doing automatically without much thought for a very long time. In order to change this habit, you have to slow down your responses.

Before you speak, pause and mentally review what you plan to say. If anything sounds devaluing, rephrase your message in a more neutral or kinder way.

A Good Rule to Remember: Everything we think does not have to come out of our mouths.

If you are not sure if what you plan to say is “devaluing,” check your list from Step 3. You can also ask yourself: Is saying or doing this thing right now useful and necessary? If upon reflection, your answer is “no,” you might consider just not saying or doing it at all.

Step 5: Do an Emotional Empathic Review

The great Hebrew Sage Rabbi Hillel who lived in the 1st Century reportedly said this version of the famous “Golden Rule:”

Do not do anything to others that is distasteful to you.

This translates to doing a second review of what you plan to say or do. In this review, you imagine yourself on the receiving end of your comment or behavior.

Ask yourself: Did I feel devalued or hurt by this? If you felt devalued, then it is the wrong thing to say or do.

Punchline: More relationships are ruined by devaluing words and actions than almost any other narcissistic behavior. If you like immediate results and are ready to make a change, this is the change that I recommend. You do not have to take my word for it. Try not devaluing others for a month, and see for yourself how this transforms your relationships.

Adapted from my Quora.com post, “What specific modifications in a self-aware narcissist’s behavior have helped them maintain enduring, successful relationships with others? (August 4, 2018).

7 Steps to Changing Your Narcissistic Responses

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The common "wisdom" is that narcissists do not want to change. When I tell people that I work with a number of clients who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, they say, “Why? They aren’t really interested in psychotherapy.” The truth is that while many narcissists are not ready to do psychotherapy because they find it too painful to take a close look at themselves, some people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder actually do want to change. I know this, because the more motivated ones stay in therapy.

It is not easy for them to admit their flaws, deal with their underlying shame, and do the hard work necessary to create a healthier way of functioning. Their therapy is not easy for me either: I sometimes become the object of their rage. When they are not idealizing me or pretending to be nicer than they actually are, they are devaluing me. I have had to get used to being yelled at when something I say or do “triggers” them. But when the therapy works, it is all worth it.

My narcissistic clients come to therapy and tell me things that they admit to no one else:

  • They realize that they behave inappropriately when they become enraged.
  • They know that they are overreacting, but do not know why they do it or how to stop.
  • They are tired of living with their rapidly fluctuating self-esteem and constantly having to chase new sources of validation.
  • They have lost confidence that the next promotion, car, or mate will make a lasting difference in their life.
  • They keep sinking into shame-based, self-hating depressions and feel helpless to prevent their own overly harsh inner attacks on their self-esteem.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

If you are reading this because you think that you may be narcissistic and are looking for a way forward, I want to assure you that there is path you can take. Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be looked at rather simply as an adaptation to a childhood home environment that left you with unstable self-esteem, low emotional empathy, and a particular set of coping skills that have now become automatic and habitual.

As with any habit, your narcissistic responses are now encoded in your brain as a series of neuronal connections that fire together automatically in certain situations. You can choose to learn new coping skills that you like better. With continued practice, the new, non-narcissistic strategies will eventually replace the old narcissistic ones. Most of us regularly update our computer apps and our smartphones, but do not think to update our coping strategies.

Choose What You Want to Change

Here is a simple seven-step plan you can use on your own that is based on what has worked for many of my narcissistic clients. It is very important that you be the one who chooses which issues to work on. People around you may be suggesting lots of things that they wish you would do differently, because those behaviors hurt them. I understand that, but you have to do this for yourself, not for them. For the moment, you have my permission to ignore everyone else’s input. To succeed, you have to begin with something you care about deeply. It has to be a behavior that impacts you negatively in some way. That will keep you motivated.

1. Identify the “triggers” for the behavior that you want to change.

“Triggers” are situations, words, or behaviors that arouse strong negative feelings in you. People with narcissistic issues tend to overreact when they are “triggered” and do things that they later regret.

Example: Bob’s goal and his list of triggers

Bob was a screamer. When he got “triggered,” he loudly expressed his displeasure by publicly devaluing the person whom he held responsible. Bob’s initial goal was to stop screaming in public whenever he got angry at someone. He was tired of making scenes and then feeling embarrassed about it later. Some common triggers for Bob were:

  • Being kept waiting at a restaurant when he had a reservation
  • Feeling as if someone he considers below him in status, such as a shoe repairman or doorman, were not deferential enough or doing a good enough job of catering to his needs
  • Being asked a question that he did not know the answer to
  • Feeling ignored

Get a notebook: You will need a small notebook or a place on your smartphone where you can keep the information that you are gathering available to you throughout your day.

Write a list of your triggers: As you go through your day, notice what triggers you. Write a list of your usual triggers in a journal or on your phone.

2. Identify potentially triggering situations.

Start to identify the situations in which you are most like to get triggered. Write them down as well.

Example: Bob’s situations

  • When he was taking someone to dinner whom he wanted to impress
  • Being at a party with people who were richer and better educated than him
  • When someone he considered below him in status had the power to deny him what he wanted

3. Identify the behaviors you want to change.

Identify the behaviors you engage in when you are triggered that you would like to change. Make a list of them next to the situations that cause you to react that way.

Example: Bob’s list of behaviors

  • He publicly devalued the person who “triggered” him.
  • He walked out of restaurants when he did not get exactly what he wanted.
  • He screamed at people.
  • He walked out of places and said things like, “I am never coming back to this sh*thole again!”

4. Imagine your ideal reaction.

Think about how you would ideally like to react when you are triggered instead of how you have been reacting. Write that down.

Example: Bob’s ideal reaction

  • He wanted to delay reacting until he had thought through the situation.
  • He wanted to speak calmly and not yell, threaten, or curse.
  • He wanted to be able to state his dissatisfaction with the situation in a rational and less emotional way.
  • He wanted to stop dramatically leaving places in the middle of dinner or a party because he felt insulted.

5. Inhibit or delay unwanted behaviors.

Practice inhibiting or delaying your normal response when triggered. Your “normal” response is the now unwanted one that you do automatically. It has become wired as a habit into the neurons of your brain. You have done it so often that your brain can do it very quickly. Here are some ways to calm yourself down and delay your response:

  • Count to 25 before responding.
  • Take three deep, slow, calming breaths. Breathe in to the count of four, hold each breath for the count of four, then breath out to the count of four to eight.
  • Take the time to remember the last time you were in a situation like this and what happened when you acted in the way that you now want to change.

6. Substitute a new response.

Once you can delay or inhibit your old, and no longer desired, response to the “trigger,” substitute your new response. Each time that you are able to inhibit the old response and do the new one instead, put a checkmark that means “Success!!” next to the behavior on your list.

Example: Lara and her family

Lara loved her husband and children, but often found herself exasperated with them. She took it personally whenever they did anything that displeased her. In the moment, it felt to her as if they were doing things wrong just to be mean to her. She responded by loudly cursing them out and calling them names. Her husband once darkly joked that after he was dead and buried, Lara would have “How could you be so stupid?!” engraved on his tombstone.

Lara’s parents had called her names, like “fat” and “stupid,” whenever they were displeased with her. It had ruined her childhood, and she had sworn that when she had her own family, she would never humiliate them. Unfortunately, every time that Lara got mad at her husband or one of her kids, she found herself loudly disparaging them in almost the same words that her parents had said to her.

Lara’s goal: Stop calling her family hurtful names when she gets angry.

Lara’s new response: “I want to just say that I am disappointed and angry and wish that they had not done that.”

Needless to say, this new response did not come easily to Lara. One of the ways that I helped her was to role-play the situation with her. I would play her husband or one of her kids and pretend that I had done something that was a trigger for Lara’s rage. Lara would practice responding in her new way over and over again. The first time that she came back to therapy and reported that she had gotten mad without resorting to name-calling, we both celebrated her first checkmark.

Imagine different scenarios: Many top athletes are trained by their coaches to visualize in great detail how they want to perform in their sport. They run through the whole thing repeatedly in their mind, until their perfect performance is deeply ingrained in their brain. You can do something similar to the above to change your response to your triggers.

Picture one of the typical things that gets you furious. Picture the other person’s face and what they are saying or doing. Then imagine yourself responding with your new ideal response. Do this over and over. Then pick another thing that typically triggers this same undesirable response. Visualize that scene in detail with you doing your new ideal response instead of the old one. Do it over and over again. Keep going until the new response starts to feel normal.

7. Review your successes and areas to improve.

Choose a time period that feels right to you, either the end of each day or once per week, to review your successes and where you need to focus more.

Note: Rewiring your brain takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself. This will not happen overnight. You have to be persistent and keep going. If you do this diligently every day, by the end of 90 days (if not before), you should see positive changes.

Some failures are inevitable. This is like learning a musical instrument or a new athletic skill. You would not expect to do either perfectly right away.

Punchline: Narcissistic behaviors are mainly habits that we learned during childhood. Habits can be changed with planning, diligence, and effort. Good luck!

Adapted from my quora.com post: What is the best way to help my husband with his narcissistic personality disorder, as he is self-aware, desperately wants help, and there's no way we can afford a therapist? (2/5/18)

How to cure narcissism. Stages of psychotherapy with examples

We analyze the strategy of working with a narcissistic character - how psychotherapy helps narcissists and what a narcissist can do for himself.

In a previous article, I talked about the formation of narcissism and about the characteristics of the suffering that is characteristic of narcissists. I recommend reading it to understand the basic terms. In this article, we will deal with strategies for helping and self-help.

The first and most important thing I want to say. Dealing with narcissism is not easy. It is painful and difficult. Sometimes it seems like you are standing still. But narcissists, like no one else, are helped along this path by intelligence and diligence. Therefore, I recommend that anyone who suspects narcissistic traits in themselves carefully study the professional literature. This will be of great help - tested on people.

Now let's look at a strategy for dealing with the narcissistic character. I do not pretend to be complete - this is simply impossible to do within the framework of a short article. Rather, my goal is to briefly outline the main areas of work and give a general idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthem. I hope this will be of help to you both in personal therapy and in independent work.

What Makes Therapy of Narcissism Difficult

As I have already written, usually the narcissist becomes anxious when the symptomatic self is actively manifesting itself - it can be anxiety, depression, just low mood, any physical symptoms.

You already know that the symptomatic self is the bridge to the true self. That is, in fact, through the symptom, a deep feeling of discomfort appeals to you, the shirt is not on the shoulder, the compulsion to live not your own life, but someone else's. The one that your parents once imposed on you.

It is logical that exacerbations often occur against the background of crises: dismissal, relocation, marriage, divorce, etc. The defense of the fake self is weakening a bit, and the authentic self is getting a chance.

And everything would be great: the crisis would open the way to the real self, to one's own destiny, as is often the case in books and films. But the problem is that the true self of the narcissist is stuck at the level of two or three years. It is very different from the brilliant picture that we have become accustomed to over the years of success. And so when you first look your true self in the eye, it's hard to feel anything other than disgust. It's not me, I'm not like that at all, put it away.

For the narcissist, realizing who you really are is essentially a retraumatization. After all, narcissistic trauma occurs when parents reject a child, do not want to see him as he is. And this is the usual view of the narcissistic personality on himself: everything weak is cut off, everything strong is nurtured.

It is not surprising that usually a narcissist who has fallen into a crisis state wants only one thing: to return everything back, to feel as grandiose again as before the crisis.

And this is a big trap. Returning to a former life is like redecorating a house that is falling apart. Might be a good temporary measure. But at one point, the walls will crack again, and these cracks will be even deeper.

It is important to realize that in the pursuit of success you lose your real, real life, in which you can be truly happy. Which you were actually born for and which suits you much better than what is now.

Stages of psychotherapy of a narcissistic character

If we formulate the main, fundamental goal of working on oneself for a narcissistic personality, then this will be the discovery and strengthening of an authentic self and natural self-expression. You need to complete the work of the psyche that was impossible in your childhood - to relive the period in which infant grandiosity collides with reality.

For convenience, I have divided the therapeutic process into four stages.

Step 1: Decipher the symptoms

The first stage of work is to learn to see how the symptomatic self manifests itself in your life. Learn to interpret his signals as the voice of the true self.

Pain is chronic inhibition of impulses. You can work with the boss you hate for many years, and it would seem that you get used to it for a long time. And blame the headache on an uncomfortable posture at the desk. And you will be partly right: a symptom always strikes at a weak point. And it is quite possible to drown out this pain with NSAIDs. But in fact, the suppressed pain from the behavior of the boss does not go anywhere. Headache will be replaced by back pain, back pain will be replaced by chronic fatigue. Symptoms will roam around the body haphazardly until they put you in the hospital for a month or two.

The task of the first stage of work is to see and recognize how much you sacrifice yourself for the sake of other people's goals and desires. Stop running away from unpleasant emotions and states, allow yourself to feel them. Admit that you are hurt by harsh comments from your boss and wife/husband. That you can come to your senses for a long time after these comments, hang in self-accusations, feel nausea and hatred for yourself, for them, for the whole world.

At this stage, at first there is a lot of denial, then a lot of shame. Pain is embarrassing. The inability to get together and do it is shameful.

It helps to realize that pain is really just a signal. It shows where you need to pay attention, what you need to devote time to. It hurts you, not because you are a weak and weak-willed person. These are the echoes of trauma. You can and should work with them.

Stage 2. Study compensatory mechanisms

This stage is also unpleasant and painful. But it is a bit more portable than the previous one, because at this stage there is already a small result and therefore hope.

Very simply explained, at this stage we begin to analyze how our mental pain arises, what causes it, and how our false self works. to protect us from this pain.

F. Summers writes about the five main compensatory mechanisms of the narcissistic defect. I'll talk about them briefly so you can get a general idea of ​​what it might be like. But remember that the history of each injury is individual and has its own characteristics.

Submission is the desire to satisfy someone else's ambitions. This strategy is adopted by children who are accustomed to living in accordance with the goals of their parents. In this case, the achieved goal does not bring us satisfaction, but rather brings relief: cheers, the parents (or the boss) will be satisfied, they will leave me behind for a while.

The strategy is so consolidated that we don't even notice how fervently we cling to the tasks assigned to us, and we realize that we swallowed too much a piece, already when we agreed to a new project and did half.

Submission helps to maintain close relationships with significant people - unfortunately, at the expense of its own authenticity.

Grandiosity is the creation of an exaggeratedly successful image of oneself and the desire to maintain it with the help of confirmation from others, the constant search for approval. So, we can ignore any claims of superiors against us, saying that we are indispensable at work and we are unfairly evaluated. By convincing others of our success, we are convinced of this ourselves.

Probably the most striking example of the compensatory mechanism of grandiosity is an exaggeratedly beautiful profile in social networks, from which it all the time sounds false.

Depreciation is an overestimation of one's own value compared to others. When using this mechanism, it seems to us that everyone around us is doing wrong, does not have a single dignity, and only brings harm. "I had three husbands - and all, as if by selection, the same bastards." “Wherever I go to work, there are some exceptionally stupid people around. ” Only when you look from the outside, you can notice an exaggeration in this - from the inside, such a picture seems to be a reality.

Idealization - attributing exaggerated virtues to another person and identifying with this person. It's sort of the opposite of depreciation. In this case, on the contrary, someone is put on a pedestal, almost deified, and relations with him help us to become involved in this splendor too. As long as we are in relationship with the ideal object, we also become ideal.

Most likely, this mechanism is familiar to you from popular articles. They usually write about narcissists that they first idealize a partner, and then devalue them. But they don’t write how painful it is to live if you yourself are a narcissist. And what wild pain is behind the desire to find the ideal.

Compulsive attachment - strong attachment to a reliable partner who is able to admire us and who, as we think, will never leave us. In this case, the partner plays the role of a transitional object - it seems that if we are surrounded by admiration, all our wounds will heal and we will no longer feel defective. That is, in this case, our partner is perceived by us not as an individual, but simply as a good mirror.

Being aware of each of these compensatory mechanisms raises a logical question: what do I need them for? What am I really protecting myself from? And this is the beginning of the next stage of work.

Stage 3. Get in touch with the true self and relive the trauma

At this stage, we have a long way to go deep into our narcissistic trauma.

In fact, we come to the deconstruction of the processes on which our development was once interrupted. We return to that moment in our history when mom or dad tells us for the first time: “Stop singing, you are very out of tune!”, “Stop dancing! Where did you get such vulgarity! You are still small, but you are behaving like a depraved woman!” - or, on the contrary: “You are so talented, you have a real gift! Come on, you will study English 4 times a week! Let's skip the pool. I understand that you like it there, but then you will thank me.”

And as we begin this deconstruction, feelings that have been blocked rise to the surface. The pain that they do not like me for who I am. Resentment that mom is always more interested in her fantasy, and not the real me. Furious that in order to be loved, I have to sit and study English, which is boring to me, and not play football with the boys on the street.

And then we can go even deeper and find behind the pain, resentment and rage a huge unmet need for love, closeness, acceptance, reflection of us as we are.

Usually the scale of this need, which for many years remained buried under a false self. grandiose. This is the very infantile need for a good mother, who can lovingly relate to my attempts to master the new world, admire me and carefully handle my fragility.

Understanding that this need is there, that it is not going anywhere, and that the best thing you can do for yourself - to slowly look for ways to satisfy it - will greatly advance you. And, at least, it will inspire you to treat yourself more carefully than before.

Stage 4. Develop the true self

The last stage is to relive the phase of development where you stopped due to trauma.

As we have already discussed, in the phase of new rapprochement, the child manifests natural auto-expression - he begins to listen to the movements of his soul, try different new activities, find out what he likes and what he does not like. He is still very vulnerable. He is easily embarrassed. Supporting the process of self-expression is quite a piece of jewellery, in which you need to both support and help match desires with reality.

Since adult narcissistic clients come to a psychologist, they usually already know how to live well in the adult world and realistically assess their possibilities. Usually it is enough just to change the vector a little - to learn to focus primarily on yourself, and not on others, as happened when the client was owned by compensatory mechanisms like submission.

At this stage, the social environment plays an important role. It is very important to find an adequate social system that can support your auto-expression. It could be a university, a job, a hobby, a psychology group, or a training program. A space where you can try new things and be accepted and supported in this.

A couple of important notes for those who survived =)

The strategy I have described is several years of work under the strict guidance of a psychologist. A good psychologist usually knows what he is doing and has successfully walked this path himself in the past. So if you are suddenly upset that you can’t repeat it all yourself, don’t be upset. This is basically not realistic.

I wrote this article so that you can use it as a map in your work with a psychologist - see where you are now. It is possible to discuss with a psychologist what is preventing you from going further. I think this orientation is very important.

If you haven't started working with a psychologist yet, then I hope you've become a little clearer about the specifics of a narcissistic character, where to start on the path to recovery, and what traps you may encounter on it.

I work with narcissistic clients in Moscow and via Skype - if you need help, write. Details on the registration page.

I can offer colleagues the format of case supervision or therapeutic supervision (exploring your countertransference in relation to the client's story and your personal story).

If you have any questions, ask in the comments, I will definitely answer.

What to read
S. Johnson, Character Therapy
F. Summers, Beyond the Self.
O. Kernberg, Severe Personality Disorders.
H. Kohut, Analysis of the Self.
I. Mlodik, "While you were trying to become God."

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Narcissistic personality disorder: highly toxic disorder

Is it narcissism or inflated self-esteem? Perhaps if you know someone with narcissistic behavior, you have asked yourself this question from time to time. Even people with narcissistic personality disorder can get confused... Although there are some signs that will make you much easier to identify. Human nature is selfish at times, but the narcissistic person can take this to the extreme.

They do not value other people's feelings and ideas and ignore other people's needs. When you have a narcissistic personality disorder, we are faced with a mental illness, something that is different from a narcissistic personality trait than that, it may be more common in society ... although the difference between a personality trait and a personality disorder, it should be rated by a mental health professional.

The word "narcissus" comes from a Greek myth in which Narcissus, A handsome young man who sees his reflection in a fountain and falls in love with him. He was absorbed in looking at his image and finally threw himself into the water. Where the body fell, a beautiful flower grew, which gave the name to the narcissus flower in honor of the memory of the young man.

Index

  • 1 What is
  • 2 Do not confuse a Nazi with high self-esteem.
  • 3 Symptoms
  • 4 Diagnosis and treatment

What it is

People with this personality disorder can be affected in all areas of their lives. They have a toxic personality type and negatively affect their immediate environment. They cannot maintain healthy relationships with others and may even have difficulty moving forward because they cannot empathize with others or be aware of their own shortcomings and limitations. This disease can be cured, and its damaging effects can be cured over time.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a persistent pattern of inner experience and behavior characterized by egocentrism, lack of empathy, and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. As with other personality disorders, this disorder has a long and persistent pattern of behavior that negatively affects many different areas of life. including social, family and work relationships.

Its main characteristics are that these people feel great in front of others, they have no sympathy for people and they have a great need for constant admiration. People may see you as an arrogant, self-centered, manipulative and demanding person with yourself, but above all with others. Also they may have grandiose fantasies and believe that they deserve special treatment from everyone.

This disorder usually begins in late adolescence or early adolescence. Attitudes are evident in all areas of a person's life with narcissistic personality disorder. . These people think they are special and better than others . They try to connect with people they think are special or deserving of their attention in some way... with other people, they just despise them.

Do not confuse a Nazi with high self-esteem.

Although many people initially believe that these types of people have high self-esteem, this should not be confused, because in fact . .. their self-esteem is quite fragile. In fact, they even need to experience pathological admiration and attention to others, just feeling (in a toxic way) that they are appreciated by others.

When they have problems with self-esteem, they often cannot accept criticism, mistakes or failures. When this happens, they feel humiliated and emotionally drained. They immediately feel rejected by others, and this emotionally lowers them, even if they try to prove otherwise "in front of the gallery." But also there are cases of people with narcissistic personality disorder where they have high self-esteem in all aspects , something that can undoubtedly further aggravate the symptoms of the disease.

Also, this disorder should not be confused with high self-confidence. People with high self-esteem may be empathetic and humble, on the other hand, a person with this disorder will not be treated as positively.

Symptoms

Narcissism is a term used to refer to people who only care about themselves and not about other, selfish beings they come to in the first place. It is necessary to distinguish, as we have already indicated above about personality traits and personality disorders. For example, narcissistic traits may be common during adolescence, but this does not necessarily mean that the adolescent will develop a complete disorder in the future. Some symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder include:

  • An exaggerated sense of one's abilities and accomplishments
  • Constant need for attention, approval and praise from others.
  • Belief in him/her that he/she is unique and special in the world
  • Note that you can only refer to people of the same "status".
  • Common fantasies of achievement, success, and power
  • Exploitation, manipulation and use of other people only for personal gain
  • Excessive preoccupation with power and success
  • You are jealous of others and think that others are also jealous of you
  • Lack of empathy for others

Diagnosis and treatment

Formal diagnosis can only be made by a qualified mental health professional and requires the individual to demonstrate impairments in personality functioning in various areas, including a strong sense of self-importance as well as interpersonal difficulties in seeking attention, empathy and intimacy.


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