Let someone love you
3 Ways To Let Someone Love You Deeply
Most of us are looking for true love and a meaningful relationship. Yet, most of the time we tend to push people away because we are too scared to let love into our lives. We are scared of getting hurt and getting our hearts broken. And with good reason. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can let someone love you fully and show your vulnerable side without getting hurt. Love can heal you if you let it.
Intimacy can be downright terrifying.
I have had dozens of clients over the past few years who have described a sense of fear in allowing someone to see them emotionally. They feared getting close. They feared being comforted. They feared to lay their heads down on their partner’s chest because the “what ifs” in their minds wouldn’t quiet down for a moment to let them enjoy themselves.
As a personal survivor of a few awful breakups, this resistance to intimacy makes complete sense to me. Our minds go to great lengths to avoid repeating past pain. If the script in your mind is telling you “Remember the last time you opened up to someone? It really didn’t end well for you…” then you will have a natural reluctance to opening up to anyone else.
But you must.
For your emotional fulfillment, and that of your partners, you have to learn how to let people in.
Related: 3 Subconscious Reasons You Might Fear Intimacy in Relationships
You can amass a perfect structure of health, wealth, and personality… but if it is all a front to keep people at arm’s distance then you won’t ever be truly fulfilled.
Maybe there was an awful breakup. Maybe someone cheated. Or someone made you feel not good enough.
And you’re afraid to let someone in.
By learning to choose vulnerability and let someone see you for who you are, you will gain access to a world of fulfillment, joy, creativity, and blissful love.
3 Ways To Let Someone Love You Deeply
Table of Contents
1.
Figure Out Your Emotional Patterns.Everyone has them, but few people are aware of what they are.
Maybe you’re a child of divorce. Maybe someone broke your heart. Maybe your parents had such a perfect marriage that you’re afraid that you can’t live up to it.
Whatever lies in your emotional past, there’s a good chance that there are a few stones left unturned.
Our thoughts and beliefs are largely run by our subconscious mind. It’s what I call the “Iceberg effect”. You’re aware of the 10% of the ice that’s above the waterline, but in reality, it’s the 90% of the ice that’s hidden from view that runs the show.
How do you figure out what these blind spots are? You may need someone to help you with that.
Whether it’s a highly attuned and emotionally skilled lover, a therapist or a specialized coach, some external perspective on your situation is the most effective way to see what’s really running your emotional life.
2.
Communication.Once you figure out what your fears and emotional patterns are telling you, make sure you let your partner in on them.
Communicate with your partner early and often so that when your “thing” comes up, it isn’t as much of a surprise and you’ll both feel like you have more control over the situation.
If words are too difficult to use when you start to feel vulnerable, establish a signal between the two of you that means “my insecurity/fear/thing is coming up right now and I need you to love me through it/be patient with me/give me a moment of space.”
There are no hard and fast rules about what intimacy should look like so figure out the road map that makes the most sense to the two of you.
Make an effort to become experts in loving each other in the way that each of you needs.
Related: 6 Ways To Increase Emotional Intimacy In Your Significant Relationships.
3. Let Them Love You When You Need It The Most.
There will be times when your fear/insecurity/thing will come up and you will want to push your partner away. This is your shame speaking and it is up to you and your partner to help you navigate these sometimes scary moments.
Let your partner help you when you feel at your weakest… they want to help you through your old pain.
Shame whispers in your ear “If I let them see me at my weakest, then they’ll find out how unworthy of love I am and they will leave me.”
Love says “I can tell that my partner wants to help me right now, and I also want them to help me. So I will let them.”
Your partner isn’t turned off by your moment of “weakness”. In fact, being able to let your partner see you in this state actually makes them feel more trusted and close with you.
So let them in. You, your partner, and your relationship will benefit.
Let your partner love youWhy Is Intimacy So Scary?What we desire the most, we often fear.
You want to be loved so deeply and seen so completely by someone that you feel like they can read your thoughts just by looking into your eyes… but you also fear that when they find out all of the things you’ve kept hidden from people all of these years that they won’t like what they find and they will abandon you.
But just like courage is about acting in spite of your fear (as opposed to not feeling any fear), true intimacy comes from letting someone see you despite your reservations (as opposed to not having any reservations in the first place).
Nobody is immune to the fear of letting someone in. And those that deny it’s existence are generally the most firmly entrenched in their denial.
Love will always be a risk. But you can either risk letting someone see you for who you are, or you can risk not having ever experienced true intimacy.
If you don’t put yourself out there and make mistakes in life, you will eternally ask yourself “What if I had tried? Who could I have loved? Who could I have been if only I pushed myself that extra step?”
So take a deep breath… tell your trusted lover what you need… and then have the courage to receive it from them.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Written by Jordan Gray Originally appeared in Jordan GrayConsultingHow To Let Someone Love Youhow to let someone love you
emotional intimacy, intimacy, intimacy in relationships, true intimacy
Jordan Gray
Sex and relationship coach Jordan Gray helps people remove their emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships. You can see more of his writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com
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How to Open Yourself Up and Let Love In
On some level, we all fear being hurt emotionally.
This can sometimes cause us to avoid situations that have any potential for leading to a painful outcome. But this is an example of playing things too safe.
It’s difficult to experience all of life’s pleasures if we’re afraid to risk trying them out. This is why it is so important to remain open to new experiences, be brave, and let our guard down.
Why We Are Afraid to Let Love In
We may put up a wall at first place because we have worries or fears about love and closeness, or ultimately getting hurt or abandoned. One of the biggest factors that get in our way of experiencing love fully and euphorically is our fear of vulnerability. We perceive vulnerability to be a “weakness” or flaw in our character, but it is quite the contrary.
A vulnerable person is a strong and generally happy person who allows themselves to be open so that they can love fully and most importantly, accept love fully. Yes, you have a risk of getting hurt, but you have a risk of getting hurt either way it goes.
Why not hurt while having loved happily and deeply rather than being hurt while having not had much of any of it? Also, it is those people who are brave enough to be vulnerable and open themselves to love that when they do get hurt, heal much quicker.
While there are certainly people out there who will be hurtful and insensitive, there are just as many who will actually be caring and considerate, and improve our lives. It’s not fair to us or to them that they are kept out because of the actions of others.
If we make a plan and plant our feet, we can let the right people in and have the fulfilling relationships we yearn for naturally.
Here are a few ways to open yourself up and let love in.
#1) List Your Fears
Knowing exactly what we don’t want can be a great way to get what we do want by being able to recognize when we shouldn’t settle. The key here is not to write out your fears so that you can keep them at the forefront of your mind, but to recognize them in ways to challenge the validity while finding ways to let them go.
Fear is a powerful emotion in that it creates far quicker than any other human emotion out there. If we stay focused on our fears, we attract more of the things that we fear into our lives. A great way to combat the level to which your mind keeps something you are afraid of at its forefront would be to list the fears, cross them out one by one, and then replace them with someone that you want and desire in your life.
Related: What Is Love & How Can You Keep It Alive?
#2) List Your Goals
Once you have crossed out your fears, begin to keep your mind’s focus on what you do want in your life. Therefore, a list of things that we do want will help us narrow down the people we think might be right for us. It can also help us decide where we might find the right person or what friendships are healthy to maintain in our lives. If one goal is “spend quiet time with someone” we might hang around a library instead of a popular bar. Obviously no one is going to fit all of our needs or every goal on the list, but even fulfilling a few desires can make for a great match.
#3) Know Your Emotions
Feelings can be extremely confusing as they don’t always have rational thoughts attached to them. This is OK. We don’t need to have an explicit reason for everything we feel, but we have to allow ourselves to experience that feeling without judgment. We can’t withhold our anger and sadness because we “shouldn’t feel them.” They are natural, and the more we recognize our emotions, the more we can respond to them appropriately.
However, it is important to engage in self-dialogue in order to determine when some feelings are a result of an irrational thought or fear, and find ways to let them go. The sooner we let go of irrational thoughts and fears that result in unwanted emotions or moods, the quicker we will have room for more love, positive emotions, and happier moods.
#4) Trust Your Intuition
We’ve all made poor romantic decisions in the past, and have received all kinds of advice about what we “should” do. But everyone has different opinions and needs.
Friends and family mean well and want to see us happy, but ultimately the decision is ours who we will let into our lives. We can listen to the advice of loved ones, but employ the actions that seem appropriate to us – we know ourselves better than anyone else. Self dialogue is also important in that it encourages us to listen to ourselves, to follow our intuition and our “gut” feelings.
A thousand random thoughts enter our minds at any given moment, the ones that affect us are the ones we attach meaning to. We have to be picky with the ones we attach a meaning to. We have to be choosey with what actually carries weight so that we can make healthier and more rational choices in our lives. If we take the time to challenge our thoughts and explore them, we are more likely to have a clearer and more keen sense of intuition and make decisions that are more conducive to our own happiness.
Related: 7 Simple Ways to Grow Relationships That Last
#5) Focus on the Present
It’s impossible to move forward successfully while looking backward the whole time.
It’s good to learn from the past, but we have to believe the future holds new and different experiences. Talk about plans and goals, not regrets or even nostalgia about the past. It can be difficult to be optimistic when we’re feeling uncertain, but even if we don’t feel full of hope, we can keep our eyes up and prepare for the next unknown chapter.
Although focusing on the future can give us hope, motivation, and some courage, it is important to even do this in small doses. Most importantly, and above all, it is important that we remain in the present. The current moment and day is what deserves our attention. Sometimes we get so caught up in the past and even the future that we forget to focus on the love or attention our loved ones need in a given moment.
Everything should be within in balance and reason, spend just enough time remembering the past in order to plan your future just a bit, we need those moments because they shape us. However, spend the most time remaining present, enjoying your present moment.
If for any reason the present is unbearable or makes you unhappy, that is a big sign for something needs to change!
Find ways to make your present happier in its moment and a one way ticket to that is gratitude. To find gratitude in the worst of the worst, because everything in our lives is hear to teach us, to help us grow, and to help bring us closer to unconditional, fulfilling, and sensational love.
#6) Let People In
Trusting a stranger sounds crazy, but that’s not the goal. The first few steps of weeding out what is and isn’t wanted, and focusing on potential new experiences will ensure only a few desirable individuals are being allowed past our wall. Steadily we can give these people more of our trust and test the waters. Without this crucial step, a relationship can’t go anywhere. This requires a level of vulnerability that may feel uncomfortable, but in the end pays off, even if it just turns out to be a learning experience, which again brings us full circle to gratitude.
Life at it’s best.
The same cycles will continue to occur, we will go from love to vulnerability to love to sadness to hurt to love and back around again. In the end, its a right of passage as a human to experience pain and love over and over again. You will go through these inevitable experiences either way. However you have two choices, you can go through them with the eyes of gratitude in a pleasant way, or you can go through them kicking in screaming making them far more painful and hurtful than they need to be. When you choose to experience your lessons in the best way possible, you are more likely to not go through them again, because the lesson has been complete, you have then learned.
Related: How Can Couples Therapy Help Your Relationship?
#7) Don’t Fear Failure
Things don’t always work out – this is why some of us have put up walls in the first place. But heartbreak is not the end of the world. And if we plant our feet and plan accordingly, we don’t even have to be destroyed when a romantic interest doesn’t stick around.
Muscles grow by tearing and being rebuilt, and the heart is the most important muscle in the human body.
As humans we are naturally social creatures. Most of us prefer not to be alone (though there is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone) and should not feel we have no other choice. Often if relationships haven’t worked out before it is because we haven’t found the right person, and locking all potential partners out of our lives isn’t going to help that.
Start Letting More Love In
Love — whether it is romantic, platonic, or family love — is a huge part of the human experience. Use these tips to see how you can make small changes to invite more love of all kinds into your life.
If you still feel blocked when it comes to opening yourself, Loving Life Today is here to help. Contact our office to learn about our in-office and virtual therapy and counseling services. Our team is here to help you find ways to break down your walls and welcome more love into your life.
And for more tips on how to cultivate better habits, download our free ebook. It includes 75 tips for making small changes that can help you live a happier, healthier life. Download it for free today.
You deserve love in your life, and we’re here to help you find it.
May you not love poetry; let it be alien ... - Annensky. Full text of the poem - May you not love poetry; let it be alien...
Literature
Catalog of poems
Innokenty Annensky - poems
Innokenty Annensky
Let you not love poetry; let it be a stranger...
Let you not love poetry; let my muse be alien to you
, joylessly weeping,
But reflected in you, like a star in the sea,
All the ebullient poetry of life.
And what images, colors, features
Could the artist steal in the fire of inspiration,
Before which the image of your beauty
Would turn pale even for a moment?
And what thought is more delightful than that,
To love you tenderly and holyly,
To give you happiness, and work, and peace,
So that, forgetting everything, only with you
Would a faithful heart be embraced?
And what rhymes are more sonorous
Your farewell kiss,
As now, in the silence of the nights,
Does not depart from the bed, from the sad bed,
and the melody wakes up its
all dreams of irrevocably lost days,
All the bliss of the past, distant? .
. 1870s
1870.
Long
On fate
Silver Age
Velers of Annensky-long
Poems by Innokenty Annensky - About fate
Poems by Innokenty Annensky - The Silver Age
Other poems by this author
Among the worlds
Among the worlds, in the twinkling of the luminaries
One Star I repeat the name ...
On love
Snow
I would love winter,
Yes, a breeze ...
On love
He and I
Longing for a long time
Istroma of pink tulips,
Silver Age
then and this
The night does not melt. The night is like a stone.
Weeping, only ice melts,
Silver Age
Which one?
When delirium flowers scatter on a sleepless bed
Silver age
Another
was, and Grozen Day,
and Blue Blue,
Short
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Poems about love and woman
9000 9000
9000 9000 About female beauty0195 The world rests on female beauty, With all who are in love, I sing In a soft snowy blouse, A. Kukhtina
Every man has her own:
According to reason, heart, dream –
That is the essence of love, and there is no other reason.
Beauty of girls and women with a bright word.
And not to know any fatigue
My soul is ready for such things!
For women, it is so joyful for her to give birth
Words of love - let this joy last,
And let the soul not be afraid at all
Repeat the delight of the beauty of all women!
Tsarevna
Like an angel, white,
Look sincere and tender,
And the smile is bright,
Speech is free, melodious.
As if flowing like a stream,
There is no coquettish cloud
On a young face.
And so royal are the healers,
Lips are all-powerful beauty -
And men at the meeting
Do not look away ...
Our holiday Thu Playu 0013 Her tears are so beautiful!
Here comes for us
Women's well-deserved holiday.
How good it is,
Both for the mind and for the heart.
To sit down for a moment,
Idly look around.
How much attention, flowers,
Sincere words, congratulations!
Every man is ready
Mentally kneel.
Oh, this March day!
A holiday on the verge of art.
How he brings people together!
How sharpens their senses!
Love will come alive in someone,
Someone will cry from happiness.
Someone will sigh softly.
Remembering seedlings and dachas.
Someone decides to take a step,
He will say to a woman: hope!
Eighth of March
May women be as beautiful as flowers!
Let them be gentle as the breath of the breeze!
Oh you! Source of eternal kindness,
Love and affection, and holy charm!
May the sky be peaceful above your head
Laughing with warm sun rays!
You give us happiness and peace.
Oh women! How good we are with you!
Women's sadness
Oh, how you want to be defenseless.
Weep not from grief - from happiness,
Behind the back of a man's monolithic
Carefree soul to rest.
Oh, how I want to be inept.
Incapable of problem cases.
After all, problems are not a woman's business,
You will take care of them yourself.
Oh, how I want to be interesting,
To catch admiring glances.
But you only give your songs.
Only adore and love you.
Oh, how you want to be in a cozy house
Create everything with your own hands.
Oh, how I want to be at least for a minute
Just to be a weak woman!
T. Mirchuk
I am a woman
I am a woman. Everything must endure:
Treason, pain and bitterness of defeat.
I was created from a man's rib
And endowed with strength from birth.
I keep in myself the principles of two principles,
I connect two poles in myself.
I walk barefoot on the edge of a sword,
I don't cheat on myself in anything.
And Hell and Paradise in me converged forever.
Now I am in the abyss, now I am melting from bliss.
I fall, but I take a run again.
I lose everything and gain again.
I tirelessly work on myself,
May the Creator not grant me forgiveness.
I am a woman. And I am proud of this -
There is no more perfect creation in nature.
Perestoronin
Holiday
On this day, how generously not to sing of them,
Mothers, brides, beloved wives!
The centuries are famous for their beauty,
The face of the holy Madonnas is impeccable.
Rare canvases were painted from them.
Inspired the best masters,
Sung for a long time in the works
Motherhood, fidelity and love.
And although the sculptors were able to
Revive both stone and metal,
The marble body was inferior,
When the original was nearby.
Perfection in matching lines,
Beauty catches the eye...
Therefore, when meeting with her a man
Burns with lightning - delight.
.
I will not say,
Let it be clear to people,
That you are always reasonable and wise.
I won't say,
That you are unique.
That in the whole world you will not find better.
I will not say,
That you are incomprehensible
And it will be true,
Not a lie.
But I will say,
Without lowering my gaze
Before your eyebrows,
That you are my hope and support
From the first days
And until the last days..
That I live only with you
In this world.
Now cursing in anger, now loving;
And in a terrible hour
Across the rearing planet
I'm going to die and die for you.
And therefore, probably, sometimes
I am looking for your love and tenderness.
And I say, bowing before you:
- You are my mother.
You are the mother of my children.
I will tell you about a simple woman
I will tell you about a simple woman.
She did not know fashionable toilets.
And did not wear a gold ring.
And did not read sensual poets.
She was always dressed in a simple outfit,
She wore hard calluses
And without poems she was dedicated
Into all earthly joys and pains.
She knew how to believe and love
And fight with dignity for love,
Carefully preserve both honor and conscience,
Like the purity of a deep well.
Her character was gentle and cool,
And our whim was unfamiliar to her.
And even the smallest rag
She took good care of it for the house.
But that woman was not stingy.
In a difficult hour without a sacrificial word
With her goodness, sincere and bright,
She was ready to sacrifice.
And therefore, with love, everyone around
Reached out to her, blessing their fate...
Not with belongings, no, but with the work of good hands
She decorated her lot all her life.
And although she could not do otherwise,
Overwhelmed with enthusiasm,
Her life was not a bitter slavery,
Ah, for the sake of life, - selflessness.
And it is not in vain to know in the hasty change of days,
Loving ourselves, flaunting pride,
We turn our eyes to her
And we stand before her, as before a shrine.
Her face is covered with expensive wrinkles.
A colored kerchief falls off the shoulders.
Not the mother of God in golden robes,
But just a mother - a simple woman.
And a feeling of kindness surrounds us
And the pain of loss burns sharply...
What flowers she had!
What cherries grew near the hut!
N.Bagrintsev
Spring motif
You are so,
So beautiful.
You are like my bright sunlight
From a magical and joyful fairy tale,
Like a thin trace of youth...
I catch a glance.
And in your presence
I am filled to the brim with you:
How can I cope
With a joyful feeling —
And I look into the window opening...
Constant and eternal dreamer,
I have been beaten by Fate more than once.
Tell me how to cope with myself,
Tell me,
How to love - not to love?
Will I be able to refuse joy,
What have you planted in my dreams? —
You are so,
so beautiful!
I am drunk with the breath of Spring...
* * *
Like a stalk was fragile
Love —
And so unique.
I was in a hurry and past
Clouds floated across the sky...
After all, life is simple.
Very simple!
And I dreamed of the ideal, —
I saw such distances,
I imagined such beauty...
Such is the fate of all the suspicious:
The ancient root feeds evil,
And I, through furious jealousy,
I did not see your love.
* * *
There is no love. -
And they lose their common sense
Both words and deeds.
Your sidelong glance.
In the house right away, look,
As if the smoke appeared like a rocker,0013 The clock bashfully fell silent - and stands still.
Grace and happiness were buried in the corners,
And kindness disappeared from the eyes somewhere...
The mirror breaks into small pieces on the floor,
And in the soul —
Torricelli's emptiness.
L. Belikova-GLADKIH
Gift
I will give you joy and happiness
And a bouquet of pleasant smiles.
Many days without worries and bad weather,
Hello young breeze.
I will give you a nightingale's song,
Swan fidelity of friends.
And our favorite melody,
The rustle of gray poplar leaves.
It's too early for us to think about old age,
Be a mischievous girl,
So that the sun is constantly
Smiling at you alone.
Yu. Belinsky
I love you!
I have not discovered a new truth.
No new heresy uttered.
Unearthed nothing in the ground.
Did not extract anything from heaven.
And he paved the wrong way.
I did not comprehend what was given to me.
And trite words repeated
Those that sounded in the world for a long time.
I appeared apparently in vain
Into this world without earthly support.
And in the high sky the dawn
Appears in vain above me.
I don't know how to be,
But I will never be unsociable,
Because I live to love,
And also, to know that we love.
For passion to spill into the blood
From the beloved face in the window.
And more, to believe in love,
And love to believe me.
That's the only reason every day
I endure myself in this world...
"What are you doing?" - they will ask me
I will answer like this: “I love you!”
* * *
A woman got used to me,
She fell down with her whole being.
A woman stuck to me.
Like a fish-stick.
She drove me crazy,
She gnaws at me like a conscience.
And so stuck that she herself
can not come off me.
And I, tired of playing with love,
I avoid her embraces
And I try to tear it from my heart
But... right there, I bleed.
N. Kolodin
Spring love
Just one look, one handshake —
And I enthusiastically sing the anthem of life:
You are so bright in a smart, bright dress!
And you give me the dawn with a smile...
You are sunny to my soul, dear.
I look into your eyes - I can't see enough.
Love for you is just as holy,
How I love lilac Rus'!
* * *
I live lovingly, with winged soul,
Blind sadness will burn in the fire of love.
And to my joy, illumined by love,
Whisper in tears: “I pray for a woman!”
It contains life and light. I am happy
admiring her beauty. And I am submissive to her.
And give. Lord, let the singing last longer
In honor of my beloved Woman!
And I should talk to you
And I should talk to you -
As if drinking water
From a forest spring:
So invigorates a sensitive soul,
Caresses, undead, amuses
Conversations from the heart!
And I look into your eyes -
As if singing songs with the heart
And reveling in happiness:
So majestic and simple.
