Is my sister a psychopath
I think my little sister is a sociopath. : offmychest
This is probably going to be very, very long by my standards so sit down and enjoy.
She's not little anymore. She'll be 18 in a few months. But as the years go by, I've started disliking her more and more and more. It's gotten to be borderline hate.
She's always been this bubbly, cute little girl with a huge smile. When she was younger, people would stop our family and say how beautiful she was for a baby. As she grew up, she went through awkward phases (I mean, who doesn't?) but came into her looks and owned it.
I was the only one who saw through it all, mainly because I shared a room with her.
In our house, the children lived by the rules of "you don't snitch". My older sister would do things to me (slap me around, mess with my stuff, etc.) and I would get back at her without going to our parents about it. Most of the time my older sister and I got along, mainly because we knew neither of us would rat the other one out unless something serious (broken bones, internal bleeding, you know) happened.
When my younger sister got of age, we began messing with her.
She took it to our parents. My older sister and I were furious that we had to be grounded for messing with her. I had to share a room with my younger sister, so I got to bear witness to her crazy.
Every time she tattled on us, it wouldn't be right away. It would be hours later. she'd keep her mouth shut until the time was right, start crying, and run up to one of my parents and start screaming "SO AND SO HIT ME JUST NOW!!!". She would even throw herself against the wall so it would look more convincing. My older sister and I would be hauled into the living room, duly punished, and sent to bed early.
I would walk back into my bedroom and see my little sister sitting on the bed smirking at me. There was always this cold, calculating look behind her eyes and a spark of joy whenever I was punished because of her. It was terrifying to see that in the eyes of a 6-8 year old.
This was years and years ago, and there are plenty of other stories like that.
But recent events have come to light that make me even more scared and make me hate her even more.
Almost a year ago, my little sister confided in me that our father had hit her. She told me because she knew I would give her the most sympathy and believe her story because, well, my dad used to beat the shit out of me when I was a kid (we've recently made amends and our relationship is better than ever). She broke down crying and shaking in anger that Dad had hit her because she tried to leave the house when he told her not too. I believed her, because who would lie about those kinds of things? I had been through the same shit.
It wasn't until a few weeks after she told me that I found out she was lying. Dad had told her not to leave the house, but instead of beating her into submission he merely took her keys. She then threw herself against the wall and floor a few times to bruise herself up and proceeded to call her boyfriend and her friends and told them, crying, that her father had just beaten her within an inch of her life.
How do I know this to be true? My little brother was home the entire time and witnessed the scenario.
My mother was furious, I was furious, my dad was shocked more than anything. He told my mother that he never touched my little sister. I would trust my dad on this one; when I was younger, he never hesitated to admitting that he had hit me. My mom didn't believe my dad until my little brother came down the stairs and told them the truth. My little sister had lied.
Mom forced her to call up everyone she had told and to tell them that she (my little sister) was lying about the whole incident.
I also found her Reddit account and have been periodically "checking up" on her to see what she's been up to. Well, she technically gave me her Reddit account. "OMG WE'RE BOTH ON REDDIT HERE'S MY USERNAME TROLOLOLOL WHEN DOES THE NARWHAL BACON?!?!". What I saw on there scared me. She's lying. Every single "story" that she tells is 100% false.
"Oh, she's lying for fake Internet points, who cares?" I DO.
Because of the magnitude of her lies. She claims her best friend in middle school died of leukemia, and went on this entire sob story about how she wasn't even allowed to visit him/her in the hospital and was at school the day he/she died and how heartwrenching it was to see her best friend wither away in front of her eyes.
BULLSHIT. NONE OF HER FRIENDS HAS EVER DIED. EVER. EVER. IN THE HISTORY OF HER LIFE.
She also tells these story about how sexually promiscuous she is, which bothers me A) because she's my little sister and B) if these are true, then she's cheating on her boyfriend who is honestly one of the nicest guys I know and both my older sister and I wonder why the fuck he's with our little sister. I don't want to here anyone talk about how much they love giving blowjobs outside of r/sex. I don't want to hear my little sister talk about how big her tits are, or how she bangs any guy who does a nice deed for her. I don't want to hear it.
Think this ends here? Oh no, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh no.
The most recent episode happened about a month ago.
My little sister said that my dad has molested her.
Let that sink in for a minute.
You done? Good. She sat my mother down and told her, "Mommy I'm having repressed memories and shit and I think Dad molested me when I was little!!"
If this was any other person, I would have given them credibility. This is not a matter to be taken lightly. This is extremely serious. Part of me is wondering, what is he really did?
Then I remember my little sister is a lying sociopath who feels a need to make her life seem more interesting.
No one believes her, which is kid of scary if it's actually true. But none of us think it's true. My older sister actually talked to her boyfriend and HE said he doesn't believe her. Quote: "I want to believe her, I really do, but I think she's definitely making it up."
LIKE WHO THE SHIT JUST WAKES UP ONE DAY AND IS LIKE HM I THINK I'M GOING TO TELL THE WORLD MY FATHER MOLESTED ME AS A KID.
I KNOW THE REPERCUSSIONS OF THIS IF I ACTUALLY GO TO THE AUTHORITIES WITH THIS AND HEY GUESS WHAT I HATE MY DAD ENOUGH TO LIE THAT HE MOLESTED ME. NO BIG DEAL. I'LL JUST RUIN HIS LIFE, HIS CAREER, AND HIS MARRIAGE (WHICH IS ALREADY ON THE FUCKING ROCKS) BECAUSE HE WON'T LET ME GO TO A FUCKING COLLEGE ACROSS THE COUNTY THAT WE CAN'T AFFORD.
GOD DAMMIT. WHO THE FUCK THINKS LIKE THIS? OH YEAH, SOCIOPATHS.
Fuck, man. I wish that I could even want to believe her, but I am 99.9999% sure that she's lying. She's lied before to "punish" someone, and she'll do it again.
Some people might be like, "This is the problem with molesting and why is goes unreported because people never believe the victim". Well, you guys have never met my little sister. This stories are just the tip of the iceberg of the crazy that I've dealt with over the past 18 years.
It doesn't make sense. She claimed it was when she was young (like 5-6) and she said my dad would come into the room at night and molest her.
No. No. Does not compute. My mother brought up the point, "Hey, you know, you've never had your own room until you were about 16."
According to my older sister, the look on her face was priceless. She had apparently forgotten this piece of key information and her face went all confused for a second, then smoothed back out to her normal calculating look and went, "He was very quiet."
And apparently, just about a week ago, she dropped the whole issue. She's never mentioned it again. Every time I talk to her on the phone she is cheery, bubbly, happy, and excited. Acts like absolutely nothing is wrong, and she's not even acting. In her mind nothing IS wrong. My dad doesn't even know that this whole incident happened, it would crush him. Because I know my dad. He may be an alcoholic who used to beat the shit out of me, but my father and I have made our peace and have been closer than we ever have been.
Just the lies on top of lies on top of lies. I'm scared for whoever she's going to marry.
I honestly don't know why the fuck her boyfriend is still with her. I mean, what if she marries him, they get into an argument, and she says that he molested their kids? That's a distinct possibility. Her boyfriend is way too nice of a guy to have to deal with her shit for the rest of his life.
I hope she gets therapy. She fucking needs it. Crazy runs in our family, and it may have skipped my older sister and I, but it went rampant on my younger sister.
My sister is a psychopath and it gets worse... (REAL) : scarystories
Before I begin, allow me to introduce myself. I am Alex, and I am 15 years old. I have a 12 year old brother, and a 5 year old sister. This sister I have, she's... special, if we could call her that. We're gonna call her Vivian. She has done a lot of naughty things in the past (not minimal), like destroying 3 iPads, 5 phone chargers, and multiple electronic devices that we use daily, such as TV controllers, Xbox controllers, etc. This might seem small, but everytime she destroys any of those things, she shows no remorse but rather seems to enjoy performing those activities.
So this one day, I was done talking to my friend and I left my phone in my chair, to charge it overnight. I went to my mom, just to see how she was doing (she was working). When I hear my brother say "Vivian has your phone". I ran to my room, and to the bathroom, and I saw her flushing down the toilet, I open it, and I see my damn phone inside. That phone was really expensive, it was the best phone I ever had, not only was it expensive, but it had sentimental value. Needless to say, I was freaking out. I took my phone out of the toilet and I tried to turn it on, but it didn't work. I tried drying out the water with a towel, but it didn't work. It was at this moment that I knew, I lost my phone. And well, Vivian really enjoyed watching me trying to turn on my phone.
Why do I call her a psychopath? I'll get to there in a minute.
Vivian... uh... she likes animals, I guess. Most of the animals she interacts with end up being afraid of her. And when I say animals I mean dogs, cats, puppies, etc.
Vivian likes annoying my dog, a LOT. Usually does stuff like throw pillows at the dog, sometimes she starts chasing it, or sometimes she just hits it. And Vivian enjoys watching the dog running away.
FIRST STORY Every weekend, we go to our grandparents' house, and we sleep there. My aunt, who lives there, has 3 cats and 1 dog. I think you know where this is going. Same as always, Vivian always chases the cats. Fortunately for everyone, the cats know how to escape from her. But the dog doesn't. Unfortunately, the dog is also very cute with everyone, even with Vivian.
This one day, desolated, we were all asleep, my aunt was gone for work, and it happened... This part of the story is really important so I will narrate my point of view.
I wake up, I get up from where I was sleeping, I go to my brother and sister to ask how they're doing but they're nowhere to be seen. I go downstairs, and I see EVERYONE talking to Vivian and petting my aunt's dog. It turns out my sister threw the dog from the balcony.
The dog fell from a two story building directly to concrete.
The dog was crying, it couldn't walk or move properly, but Vivian enjoyed watching it suffer. It makes me sick to even think of how she was smiling to watch the dog suffer. Needless to say, this was one of the scariest things that ever happened to me, mainly because Vivian showed no remorse of doing such thing. In the end, the dog could live, fortunately.
SECOND STORY My dog, the one I own, got pregnant, and gave birth to 4 beautiful puppies. But, my life isn't happy, it never is. One of the puppies was born dead, and another one died the next day. Yeah, I know, I was devastated. But my sister got happy when she heard that (wtf).
We always took care of the little puppies, always playing with them, etc. I personally always fed them, gave them toys, etc. I wanna be brief on this story because this one makes me cry.
My mom sold one of the puppies, understandably, since we didn't have much money to maintain 3 dogs in the house.
And the puppy that was left couldn't be sold...
One day I entered the patio where the puppy was staying, and I saw it... it was lying in the floor, agonizing, and groaning. I immediately took her to my mom, we were both freaking out. The puppy couldn't even walk. We took it to a vet. Turns out the puppy suffered severe wounds in the skull and in the stomach. SOMEONE was "playing" with the puppy, carrying it, throwing it in the air, and trying to catch it, and it fell... and guess WHO that was. My f*cking sister, Vivian. Unfortunately, the dog didn't survive. Me and my mom were destroyed, and my mom told Vivian to NEVER even approach a dog ever again. But you want to know WHAT gives me chills? What makes me afraid to sleep next to Vivian at night? What makes me remember this story with so much detail even after 3 months?
Vivian was smiling.
EDIT (22/09/21): Now, about this situation, I need to say a few things. My dad is not with us, he kind of.. abandoned us a few months ago.
We are not going through the best of situations. My mom constantly has to leave the house for work, and most of the times her work is not enough to buy groceries and stuff for us. She has a Youtube channel and hasn't uploaded a video for years because she hasn't got the time, but yet she often helps us with whatever we might need. As for my sister, she's doing ok. I talked to my mom and it turns out she talked to my sister's school for her to take therapies, so it's actually working out for us. I'm real glad to know my sister is finally getting to talk about this. If she ever shows clear signs of not feeling anything (psychopathy), I will immediately do my best to NOT let her harm another animal EVER again. If she ever tries to harm a human being, I will do my best to take action about this. This is one of the most scary situations I've went through so I thought I'd tell it through reddit. This whole situation reminds me of a movie called 'The bad seed'. I really hope this doesn't happen to my sister.
Thanks for everyone for showing concern about this situation, this story is actually real. I did not make this story up.
I'm afraid my sister is a psychopath. What to do?
ConsultationsFamily relations
885
29 jun. 2020
Irina
My sister is 17, since childhood she was quite problematic. Cruel, gouged out the eyes of animals, almost strangled our cat, lies even on trifles, a thief. Although acquaintances speak of her as sweet and sociable. She is often bored. Looking for an adrenaline rush. I smashed my classmate's head to the blood and not a drop of guilt, I went smiling later.
Jun 29 2020
Anastasia Ksenofontova Psychologist
Hello Irina. We can communicate on this theme. Please read the terms of the consultation. If everything works out, let me know.
How can I address you by the name form? How comfortable are you/you?
Jun 29 2020
Irina
Hello, everything suits me.
You can contact you at
29 Jun. 2020
Anastasia Ksenofontova Psychologist
Great, you can also contact me.
From what you wrote, there are some tendencies in the sister's behavior. However, I cannot diagnose her. This can only be done by a psychiatrist. Tell me, how do you see the result of our consultation?
Jun 29 2020
Irina
At least understand how you can protect yourself and how you can persuade her to go to the doctor
29 jun. 2020
Anastasia Ksenofontova Psychologist
Tell me a little more about what exactly in her behavior is dangerous for you? I see that you write about theft and deceit.
About the doctor: personality disorder (in the old psychopathy, now this term is no longer valid) is a violation of the structure of a person's personality. It is not treated, it is very difficult to correct with long-term psychotherapy.
This may be a psychiatrist-psychotherapist or a psychologist-psychotherapist specializing in this clinic. It all depends on the severity. Based on their personal characteristics, it is very difficult to persuade such people to turn to specialists, because they do not see problems in their behavior.
For your part, you can take care of yourself in this situation
29 Jun. 2020
Irina
She can hit, she sometimes threatens. In those moments, she seems to change. The look is so heavy, dangerous ... You feel like a mouse in front of a cat that wants to kill, wants to let go. And so not only with me...
Jun 292020
Irina
She recently talked about her eyes being torn out in a jar. In such an ordinary tone that you almost turn gray with fear. Because you think your sister can pull it off. Did that already. But with animals
Jun 29 2020
Anastasia Ksenofontova Psychologist
I understand your fear.
And I also see that we are talking about violating not only your psychological, but also physical boundaries. Do you protect them in any way when interacting with her?
Jun 29 2020
Irina
Sometimes, unconsciously, I put something between us. Or I try to move away imperceptibly, but further away. It if about physical borders.
Jun 29 2020
Anastasia Ksenofontova Psychologist
When I talk about boundaries, I mostly mean that you communicate them directly. You say that you can’t do this with you, for example, raising your hand. Is it possible to talk about it?
Jun 29 2020
Irina
Yes. Account for
Jun 30 2020
Irina
So far, yes.
Thank you for everything. I will try to take her to the doctor. Goodbye
Jun 30 2020
Anastasia Ksenofontova Psychologist
Irina, if there are no more questions, please complete the consultation by clicking on the "End consultation" button.
All the best!
Similar consultations
Psychopath, how to identify a psychopath if a psychopath is nearby
CONTENT OF THE ARTICLE answers the following questions:
- Psychopath, who is it
- that psychopaths are crazy or violent people
- Are psychopaths really smart? living with a psychopath, including in a family
- What needs to be done to subdue a psychopath
- Who can live normally and even happily with a psychopath
- The main problem of living with a psychopath
- A psychopath admitting his depravity
- How a good life with a psychopath turns into a nightmare
- Why it is easy to start a relationship with a psychopath
- More articles on this topic psychopath”:
1. Its use as household.
We can call a person that when he has given free rein to his emotions, and outwardly behaves not quite adequately.
2. Psychopath as a medical general concept.
It denotes a person with pathologies in the psyche, with various mental disorders of his personality. Mental pathology - psychopath, for short.
Precisely, as a general medical concept, in this article, it will be used.
Of course, one should not write down all of them as psychopaths.
We all go through life in such states that even without a psychotherapist we can say that something is “wrong” with the psyche.
BUT, in my opinion, a psychopath differs from an ordinary, adequate, normal person, precisely because his mental inadequacy is NOT a TEMPORARY state.
And there is his constant property of both personality and psyche.
And the problem is that identifying a psychopath is not so easy.
You can easily connect your life with him, suffer long and hard, being in close relationship with him.
For example, to get him as a husband or wife, as a lover or mistress, as a friend. And it happens very easily.
What to expect from such a relationship?
And what can be expected, excuse me, from a relationship with a psycho?
External signs of a psychopath and psychopathy - how to recognize a psychopathIn order to recognize a psychopath in the people around you, in principle, you need to know the signs of psychopathy.
As inquisitive people have noticed and psychologists and psychotherapists have confirmed, psychopaths are characterized by the following character and behavior traits:
More about this: Psychopathy - a person with a lack of empathy (link to this article at the end)
- Emotional detachment, what is called in everyday life insensitivity. Or, conversely, ostentatious emotionality, as they say: "feelings over the edge."
- Lack of guilt for what is happening. Even when a person is clearly involved in an immoral or criminal event.
In a relationship with a psychopath, everyone and everything is to blame, except for himself.
Psychopaths have no or underdeveloped sense of duty and responsibility, including for themselves. - Boorish, cruel, impudent behavior, especially in conditions of impunity. That is, the absence of elementary moral and ethical standards.
— Bad faith in relations with people, and in the performance of work, duties.
A psychopath can easily betray a person, including a loved one. As if nothing had happened, it can make obvious or hidden meanness.
At work or in the performance of his duties, he thinks only about his own benefit and his own comfort. And not about the case, colleagues. And not even about their own children.
At the same time, as a rule, it is very well disguised - “encrypted”, putting on a mask of virtue.
- Psychopaths tend to fall into hysteria, scandal at the slightest pretext.
Meanwhile, they skillfully and for a long time can pretend to be “white and fluffy”.
No need to imagine that psychopaths are crazy or violent peopleAs a rule, they are quite intellectually developed. And therefore they can easily pretend to be normal - adequate people.
That is, as they should be presented. And most importantly, how they want to be seen by those with whom they establish relationships in their own interests.
In other words, however strange it may seem, psychopaths are found not only among “ordinary people”.
But also among journalists, doctors, teachers, bosses, politicians, and many others.
Are psychopaths really smart?In my opinion, human intelligence and rationality are still different concepts.
For by intelligence, mind, we understand the ability of the human brain to quickly and optimally - well, to carry out mental operations inherent in man.
And it is logical to understand a person's rationality as his ability to live, namely, HUMANLY.
That is, to live in accordance with the natural and social essences, human meanings, and not contrary to them.
Psychopathy, a priori, makes a person different from the majority of adequate society around him.
Or, simply, from adequate people with whom he voluntarily or involuntarily enters into a relationship.
Does a psychopath understand that he is oneAs a rule, a psychopath is smart enough to understand that his psychopathic manifestations harm him in establishing good relationships with people.
Therefore, especially at the stage of establishing the relationship he needs, the psychopath is extremely cunning and resourceful in portraying himself as a good, normal person.
In other words, the intellectuality of the psychopath at this stage is manifested with might and main. He needs to completely remove even thoughts and suspicions about his psychopathy from his counterpart.
And when a person “falls into the net” of a psychopath, he will be bound by relationships with him.
This is where the psychopath drops the mask of normality and goodness. And manifests its psychopathic properties without restraint or fear.
Is this reasonable, even in the interests of the psychopath himself?
Obviously: no. For destroying normal, good relations with other people, he harms not only them. But first of all, to yourself.
This is, in fact, another sign of psychopathy. But not so obvious, but mediated by the complex relationships of people, as such.
In my opinion, speaking in general, a psychopath, as such, is not an intelligent person or a little intelligent.
And the intellectuality, the cleverness of a psychopath, faster, this is his erudition, resourcefulness. That is, adaptability to an adequate world and society, first of all.
Although, personally, I have never met really intellectually developed psychopaths in personal relationships.
Quite quickly it becomes clear that these are not distant, poorly educated, stupid people.
Despite all their attempts and show-offs in portraying themselves as someone significant and special.
BUT, be that as it may, it is always difficult to understand that psychopathy is also hidden under the stupidity of a person.
And we, people, after all, are quite loyal to the stupidity of others: we consider narrow-minded people harmless and even charming.
For example, we even love them as husbands and wives.
But when it turns out that a stupid person is also a psychopath, this is already scary and terrible.
How to identify a psychopath using a testIt turns out that identifying a psychopath is not so difficult. If you know the criteria for personality psychopathy, which were compiled by psychoanalysts.
For example, I really liked the criteria in R. Hare's test.
Diagnosis of psychopathy based on R. Hare's checklist:
1.
Well-suspended tongue and outward charm. 2. Great sense of self-importance.
3. Need for stimulation or tendency to be bored.
4. Pathological lie.
5. Deception and manipulation.
6. Lack of remorse or guilt.
7. Shallow feelings.
8. Callousness and lack of empathy. (Empathy is conscious empathy with the current emotional state of another person.)
9. Parasitic lifestyle.
10. Unrestrained behavior.
11. Promiscuity. (Promiscuity is a propensity for promiscuous, unrestricted sexual relations with many partners.)
12. Behavioral problems at an early age.
13. Lack of realistic long-term goals.
14. Impulsivity.
15. Irresponsibility.
16. Refusal to take responsibility for one's actions.
17. Many short-term "serious" relationships.
18. Was a “difficult teenager”.
19. Does not repent of committed misdeeds or crimes.
20. A wide range of offences.
Each of these items is evaluated in relation to this individual on a 2-point scale:
0 - if the statement is not applicable to him;
1 if partially;
2 - quite applicable to him.
A psychopath is one who scores 30 or more points in total.
If a psychopath is nearby - if a husband, wife, friend, child is a psychopathWhat if you find out that you live with a psychopath?
Or with a person who is close to this state - "almost a psychopath."And if you love him, and gave birth to children with him, and lived the best years of your life?
And are you not going to or can't part with him at all?I don't know about anyone, but I was "lucky" in my life - I have met and still meet a lot of psychopaths.
Moreover, he had them both as wives and as friends.So, I know the problem firsthand.
The main problem of a relationship with a psychopath is his inability to love anyone but himself, the only one.
Yes, plus, the same psychos as himself. For a psychopath, based on his vision of relationships between people, is not able to understand: What is it like to love another person?
Except how to USE it to your advantage and for your needs. He does not see him, another person, application in his life.
And can't treat him differently.
Life with a psychopathIn my opinion, one can live with a psychopath, and even happily. If to be the same as him, a psychopath.
That is, to profess and adhere to the same principles in life as he did.
If not, then, excuse me, your life with him will turn into an eternal hell of your struggle with his life principles. By which he lived, lives and will live.
For this, psychopathy, is not curable. Since, it is a state of personality and psyche.
And this, with modern methods and drugs of psychotherapy, can only be corrected, but not completely cured.
It can't be cured or remade - the brains can't be taken out, washed and put back in the best possible way.
And when we talk about brainwashing anyone, anyone.
That, this process means nothing more than sowing seeds on fertile soil.
That is, the introduction of ideas into the human mind. Who, by his personality traits, is already ready to perceive these ideas as his own.
In the case of a psychopath, a priori, this is impossible. It is impossible to introduce anything else into his consciousness by any means.
Different from what constitutes the essential properties of his personality and psyche.
At the same time, we must not forget that the personality of a psychopath is formed on the basis of the psyche, which has a hereditary predisposition to psychopathy.
And it was formed, as a psychopath, throughout the life of a psychopath, from birth.
That is, no matter how you twist it and try it, “you can’t change a psycho”, and you can’t fix it, and you can’t cure it.
As, in fact, it is impossible to remake a normal, healthy personality and human psyche.
Who and how can live with a psychopath, including in the familyWhen thinking about this issue, analyzing the experience and knowledge available, we can come to the following conclusions:
One of the essential properties of a psychopath is his lack of SELF-SUFFICIENCY.
And, moreover, strange as it may seem at first glance, INDEPENDENCE.
That is, a psychopath, due to just his mental deviations, does not have a developed self-consciousness. He simply cannot form it.
And he, therefore, always needs a patron-guide in life. Or a role model, how he should live - who he should be.
In other words, the psychopath does not have a more or less self-sufficient and autonomous "I" like a normal person. A associates it with someone like "We".
At the same time, of course, the psychopath believes and creates the appearance for others that he is independent and self-sufficient.
Moreover, both in his behavior and in his actions, he supposedly has his own “I”. And from here, and it is very important to understand: the psychopath WE CONTROL and subordinate. That is, maybe there is an object for manipulation by other people.
Who can become a manipulator for a psychopath - with whom can he unite his "I" into "We"?
And there are more than enough examples, and everyone sees and knows them in their lives and in relationships with psychopaths.
What needs to be done to subdue a psychopathIn order to subjugate a psychopath and start controlling him, you need to indulge him and his "freaks" in every possible way.
This means, in fact, to have or only to portray such an attitude towards him as:
- love, respect, agreement with his opinion, understanding, friendliness, and the like.
Something like, if figuratively: you need to pet him, feed him and pet him, feed him further.
And the psychopath, like a dog, finds his master.
His "I" literally merges with the will and power over him of his patron.
From now on, he begins to perceive himself and associate his self-consciousness as "I" and "He", "She" or "They" - as "We".
And what do most people do when they recognize a psychopath in a person next to them?
That's right: they either begin to correct him, or go to war with him, thus becoming his enemies.
Who can live normally and even happily with a psychopathWhoever sincerely or pretending to love him. Or, at least, treats him well: appreciates him, considers him smart, handsome, and so on, in that spirit.
That is, a psychopath needs someone or those who APPROVE him just the way he is.
And this can be parents or a parent, and a husband or wife, or children. Or friends, or colleagues, and so on.
At the same time, often, parents, husband, wife, child, and other people who have dealings with a psychopath are psychopaths themselves.
And therefore it is easy for them to love and encourage their child or partner in his psychopathy.
But, such a happy cohabitation of psychopaths is possible ONLY under one condition:
— when one psychopath SUBMITS to another, and the second guides him through his life.
In principle, anyone can become a manipulator of a psychopath.
It is enough and necessary to caress him, literally, in the direct and figurative meaning of this concept.
These can be: parents, husband, wife, child, boss, colleagues, friends, and the like. And even "a person from the side."
The main problem of life with a psychopathThe only question and problem is what!? You can tame a psychopath. BUT where to get the strength and patience to endure his psychopathy, which is not going anywhere.
A will continue to manifest itself in his inadequate thoughts-words and behavior.
That is, how to “pat him on the head” when he “carries” inadequate and behaves inappropriately, like a psychopath?
This concerns, first of all, close relationships with a psychopath.
Life with him is his NORMAL husband, wife, children, parents.
About the recognition by a psychopath of his viciousnessRarely, but it happens (I have observed) that a psychopath clearly sees his psychopathy. He sees, but does not recognize himself as sick, of course.
He is sometimes able to sincerely ask you for forgiveness for his behavior and attitude towards you.
WHAT'S THE USE? Here, just, the saying is appropriate: The humpbacked grave will fix it.
For, having repented and apologized, a psychopath remains a psychopath.
So, to your "guilt" before him, one more was added. The fact that he was forced to “humiliate” himself in front of you, once asking for an apology.
After all, you were and are for him, a psychopath, "Nothing and Nobody." Which becomes something and someone, only if it brings him pleasure.
A happy, in a relationship with a normal person, a psychopath is extremely rare.
It is almost impossible or very, very difficult to please him. This person annoys him by himself. For, he feels and sees in him the opposite of himself.
How a good life with a psychopath turns into a nightmareLook at the situation of most people who find themselves in close relationships with a psychopath: ). Life with a psychopath, if not good, happy, then quite tolerable.
- Further, as the negative accumulates from inadequate words and actions in communication with a psychopath, his partner begins to CRITICATE him.
Namely, this is what a psychopath cannot bear. For he can never and never admit that he is something bad - he is devoid of self-criticism.
- A psychopath's critic automatically becomes bad. And to replace him, "good people" are quickly found - those who "stroke" him on the head.
- Now allied with new patrons, becoming the object of his manipulation.
A psychopath literally attacks the one who dared to consider him bad - criticizes and accuses him of psychopathy.
Or, if a person does not understand that he is living with a psychopath, then he is simply dissatisfied and accuses him of his bad behavior.
— And that's it: previously loved and good husband, wife, children, parents, friends, and so on, become enemies of the psychopath.
As those, in his ideas, who do not understand, do not love and criticize, “touch” a psychopath.
And his idols and favorites are those who manipulate the psychopath. "Understanding" him, "loving", "considering him normal and good."
Why is it easy to start a relationship with a psychopath?The fact is that, unlike normal people, they have an increased ability to please people.
Especially when they seek to have some kind of relationship with them.
By the way, as a rule, women, men, psychopaths have increased sexuality.
They are, sexually, more than usual, attractive and more indefatigable in sexual affairs than normal people.
This is explained by the fact that their animal essence dominates over their spiritual human essence.
They literally charm people with their understanding, attractiveness, and so on.
This mechanism is similar to the mechanism of killer flowers.
A psychopath is able to seduce you into any relationship with him - from family, love-sexual, to friendship.
And then, slowly and persistently, it will start to “devour” you.
Or, simply, they will forget about you. Taking everything he needed from you.Have you met psychopaths in your life? What do you think a psychopath is? And how to live with them, most importantly?
More articles on this topicPsychopathy - a person with a lack of empathy
Sociopathy. Psychopath and sociopath are near us and in each of us
Why you should not nest with a psychopath.
