Is my girlfriend codependent
Signs Your Partner Is Codependent
Signs Your Partner Is Codependent Search iconA magnifying glass. It indicates, "Click to perform a search". Chevron iconIt indicates an expandable section or menu, or sometimes previous / next navigation options.HOMEPAGEHealth
Save Article IconA bookmarkShare iconAn curved arrow pointing right.Download the app
Codependent relationships can be detrimental to both people. The CW- Codependency is when one partner feels an excessive emotional reliance on their partner.
- Textbook signs of codependent personalities are people-pleasing, low self-esteem, and always needing to be in control.
- According to codependency expert, Darlene Lancer, codependency is a disorder of the self.
- Clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Rhodes said the key to a strong relationship is healthy interdependence.
Maintaining a healthy relationship is hard. Many times, issues that may cause problems later, manifest themselves without a couple even realizing. Codependency is one such issue. "Codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner," Dr. Jennifer Rhodes, a clinical psychologist, told INSIDER.
According to Darlene Lancer, a marriage and family therapist and author of "Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You," a person can become codependent because of how they were raised. "Dysfunctional families or growing up with an ill parent is likely to create codependent behavior," she said.
Of course, being raised in a dysfunctional family by no means guarantees you will be codependent later in life, but for some, it can create this pattern.
Signs of a codependent partner are not always obvious to spot. According to Dr. Rhodes, oftentimes, the codependent behavior makes the other partner feel good so there is no incentive for them to interfere. "The codependent partner has to separate and develop their own self-esteem or leave the relationship for both people to get better," Dr. Rhodes explained.
Here are 10 ways to tell if your partner is too codependent.
They can't say no, ever.
It can be difficult for a codependent person to say "no.
" HBO It's one thing to do something nice for someone you care about, but it's another to feel like you always have to.
According to Lancer, codependents don't feel they have a choice. "Saying 'no' causes them anxiety so they go out of their way to sacrifice their needs to accommodate other," she said.
They never feel like they're good enough for you.
It can be hard for a codependent person to accept that they can be loved for who they really are.
WAYHOME studio / Shutterstock Oftentimes, a codependent partner in a relationship will exhibit low self-esteem. According to Lancer, they don't feel a strong sense of self-worth which is one of the reasons they are always aiming to please.
For this reason, codependents tend to not express their true feelings or what they're really thinking out of fear that their partner may abandon them.
They feel responsible for you.
Codependents put others first.
Spencer Platt/Getty Images "Codependent partners are willing to make extreme sacrifices to make their partner happy," Dr. Rhodes explained. They will go above and beyond to meet their partner's needs no matter what it takes.
Codependents put others first, which sounds altruistic, but when it's at the cost of your own well-being they are doing more harm for themselves than good.
They get upset when they don't hear from you.
Codependents might have a strong fear of abandonment.
Freeform If a codependent feels any type of abandonment, even if it's something as small as not getting a call from their partner when they said they would, they can quickly shut down.
"This is due to their high levels of fear of abandonment," Dr. Rhodes explained. Suddenly, every worst-case scenario about what could have happened to their significant other is running through their head, when in reality their partner is fine.
They can't enjoy themselves without you.
They might only feel safe around you.
Netflix Chances are, if you're in a serious relationship you and your partner have "couple friends," but it's important to also have your own friends, too.
Dr. Rhodes said codependent partners have trouble enjoying life outside of their relationship because they feel safer, more in control, and confident when they're with their significant other.
They fixate on their mistakes.
Mistakes might feel like a big deal to codependents.
Shutterstock We all mess up in relationships, but the important thing is to forgive each other and move on.
"Codependent partners fixate on their mistakes," said Dr. Rhodes. The reason for this, according to Lancer, is that a codependent needs other people's approval to feel good about themselves and if they mess up, or make a mistake, they feel anxiety and stress of abandonment.
They have poor personal boundaries.
It's hard for codependents to set boundaries.
Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock "Codependents feel responsible for others which leads to weak personal boundaries," Lancer explained.
Many times, a codependent partner is so crippled, knowingly or not, by the fear of abandonment, the fear that they'll jeopardize the relationship, or won't be liked, that they have a hard time setting boundaries for themselves — physical or emotional.
They must always be in control.
They can often be manipulative.
Focus Features Lancer explained that being in control helps codependents feel safe and secure. Obviously, we all want to have some amount of control over our lives, but for a codependent partner, staying in control keeps them from having to take risks or share their true feelings.
"All the people pleasing and caretaking is a form of control as well," Lancer said. It may be subconscious, but being extra nice and a people-pleaser helps codependents manipulate people and situations the way they feel they need to be.
They're very indecisive.
They likely don't want to upset their partner. Freeform From what to have for dinner to whether or not to take a job offer, a codependent is not good about making decisions, no matter how trivial. They rely so heavily on their partner's opinions and feelings towards them that they'd rather not have an opinion as not to upset their partner if they should disagree.
"They're afraid to be truthful because they don't want to upset anyone," Lancer said.
They can't stand not being there for you when you need.
It goes back to their feelings of needing to be in control. oneinchpunch / ShutterstockWe all want to be there for the people we love but sometimes life gets in the way and we can't.
If a codependent can't be there for their partner, they can feel very distressed.
Lancer said this all goes back to the feeling of being in control and low self-esteem. If someone else is helping out their partner in need, no matter how silly the need may be, it will make them feel inadequate.
Ultimately codependents must find themselves on their own.
Healthy interdependence is the key. Shutterstock"It's a misconception to think you can "fix" a codependent relationship," Lancer said.
"Codependency is a disorder of the self. You can only work on changing yourself. That's why it's important to practice detachment from your partner to become more autonomous and less reactive," she told INSIDER.
Dr. Rhodes agreed, "Healthy interdependence is the key. That means that you are emotionally available for your partner but do not rely on them for your feelings of love and overall well-being. We believe that independence is the healthiest state of being when, in reality, a healthy relationship with good interdependence is what we should be striving for."
The goal is to focus on yourself. "Trying to change your partner is a sign of your own codependency, and the opposite is actually necessary – focus on yourself," Lancer told INSIDER. "When one partner changes, the entire dynamic shifts, and the other partner changes too, by necessity."
Visit INSIDER's homepage for more.
Read next
LoadingSomething is loading.
Thanks for signing up!
Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go.
Freelancer codependency Relationship adviceMore...
15 signs that gave it away
My girlfriend is codependent.
And I found out the hard way.
I found out at the worst time:
Once I was already in the middle of a long-term relationship with her.
Notice the use of was.
All those behaviors I ignored as no big deal started to become a big deal.
And I realized she was highly codependent in a toxic way that was negatively affecting my life, too.
I realized I was a few miles down a deep hole and I had only two choices:
Keep sinking down to an unreachable pit or start digging my way out.
I chose option two.
And I hope you will, too.
So, what is codependency?
It’s actually pretty simple:
Codependency is a relationship where one or both of those involved are overly emotionally dependent.
Their happiness and fulfillment of the other person.
As the shaman, Rudá Iandê teaches in his free masterclass on finding true love and intimacy – which I highly, highly recommend – codependent people usually fall into two categories:
The victim.
And the savior.
In my relationship, this is definitely how it played out. And once I saw the ugly signs I couldn’t unsee them.
I realized I was playing the “savior” to my girlfriend’s victim narrative. But instead of feeling like a hero, I felt like a chump.
And I wanted out.
My partner is codependent – and codependency isn’t cool
I don’t demand perfection. Never have.
Not of myself or others.
I’m also not a spiritual narcissist, and I’m not a dick (not most of the time, anyway).
But the codependency of my girlfriend wasn’t about me feeling uncomfortable or “bummed out.”
It was realizing that I was feeding into a negative emotional attachment pattern that was actually hurting her as well as me.
And who wants to be part of a relationship that’s actually harming both partners?
Not me.
So, for that reason I want to share this list with you:
The big red flags I noticed showed me my partner is codependent.
This is my list of the 15 signs that gave it away.
Here we go.
My partner is codependent: 15 signs that gave it away
1) She constantly flogged her self-esteem to get attention and validation
Here’s what I mean:
My girlfriend would constantly be down on herself in order to get attention and validation.
All of us have moments of self-doubt and sadness.
But she would take these moments and exaggerate and weaponize them.
She would milk her self-doubts for pity, validation, promises and much more.
I was expected to provide almost constant validation.
At first, it started slowly, and I was still very attracted to various things about her so I brushed it off …
But later once things got more serious it became legit creepy.
She would need me to repeat positive things about her over and over.
And she never believed me anyway.
It took a while until I realized that was a game I was never going to win.
2) She never let me say no
This isn’t completely true.
I did say no once or twice:
And she never let me forget it.
Tears, drama, late-night calls for weeks obsessing over why she wasn’t “good enough” for me and how she knew I had met another girl.
If I wasn’t all there for her all the time she made it clear that I’d basically ruined her life.
But the truth is:
She was ruining mine.
And it fucking sucked.
So if you’re in this situation I highly urge you to take a reality check and find out if you’re in love or just addicted to unhealthy attachment.
You can do this by checking out the free masterclass on love and intimacy below.
Learn more about the masterclass here.
3) She expected me to be in touch 24/7
One time I made the “mistake” of switching my phone off during a nap on Saturday.
Let’s just say I didn’t repeat that again.
My girlfriend expected me to be in touch and reachable literally all the time.
If I was really busy she would give me five minutes or so of “flex time” but more or less it was a constant expectation to answer texts, calls, or instant messages immediately.
At first, it was kind of cute.
She was so into me that I let it get to my ego, instead of noticing how toxic it was.
Later on, I realized the truth:
Her fear of abandonment was triggering her into constantly “checking in” with me.
But it all became way too much for me.
4) She emotionally blackmailed me
Looking at this list I’m realizing it might seem like I’m making myself out to be perfect or like I did nothing bad in the relationship.
That’s not the case.
At all.
I was far from perfect when I was with my girlfriend:
Sometimes I was lazy, irritated, angry, depressed.
But I tried to keep the games to a minimum.
I can’t say the same for her.
She would tell me these emotionally devastating stories from her childhood or about an ex and then cuddle up to me and tell me how I was different.
She constantly made it clear to me that if I ever left her or let her down it would wreck her whole life.
I became the only person “keeping her alive,” and it actually started to feel really shitty.
5) She had no boundaries
Like I said, I was far from perfect in the relationship.
One of my less “pleasant” traits is that I can be a little bit pushy.
This characteristic of me was made even worse when I was with my girlfriend because she had no boundaries.
If I told her to make dinner she did it.
If I pressured her to do an activity in bed with me she did it.
I’m not proud of that, in fact, I’m a little bit ashamed.
But she never stood up for herself, and even when she did things with me that she wasn’t that into she would use them later to emotionally blackmail me.
“Well, I always do what you want, so …”
You get the picture.
Our relationship honestly brought out the worst in me. And I take responsibility for that.
Which is why I walked away.
6) She pressured me to put her above my family
Some members of my family require extra care and I have a close relationship with my parents and my sister.
My ex constantly tried to make me feel bad if I spent time with them or even talked about them.
It isn’t that she’d tell me not to.
After all, her personality (on the surface) was all about people-pleasing.
But she made it obvious that there wasn’t room for her and my family in our relationship.
She created this false choice:
Me or your family.
I’d never been in that kind of situation before where a partner made me feel guilty for … caring about my family.
So it was a new one for me.
And it was really bizarre and overwhelming.
While the signs in this article will help you deal with a codependent girlfriend, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like having a codependent girlfriend. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
Click here to get started.
7) She made me run her life
This was a big sign:
Flashing marquee in downtown Vegas type sign …
She made me the judge of her decisions and life choices.
She expected me to run her life.
And, frankly, I have enough going on running my own.
Being expected to make decisions for her about everything from her diet to her family relationships and clothing purchases became fucking exhausting.
Excuse my language.
Even thinking back on it makes me realize a disturbing thing:
She wanted me to run her life so she could feel secure, but no matter what I decided it always was somehow not good enough and she was still the victim.
8) My responsibilities meant nothing to her
I have a family member who’s autistic and sometimes needs extra attention.
I also have a high-pressure job.
But when I was with my girlfriend she acted like my responsibilities was completely unimportant.
I was only an object for her:
An emotional fulfillment object (EFO).
The worst was when she fake-sympathized with me.
She would say things like:
“Oh yeah I know you have a lot going on, but …”
That “but” became the bane of my fucking existence, let me tell you.
Honestly, she had a lot of good qualities, but this young lady made codependency into an art form.
And that was a Pablo Picasso painting that I did not want to be part of.
9) Her mood always depended on me
Let me be more specific:
If she was in a bad mood it was up to me to “fix” it.
If she was in a good mood it was up to me to “maintain” it.
How do you spell fun? In that case, you spell it as f u c k t h i s.
I have a secret for everyone:
I don’t always have a great day myself. In fact, just today was less than amazing.
Work pressure, issues with my friends. Shit gets to me, too.
Now that I’m single again I can take time to myself, crank out some music and chill.
But with her, I was a “custodian” to her emotional state 24 hours a day.
Even if she called me up at 3 a.m. crying my job was to listen and sympathize, because her life was so hard (and mine wasn’t?)
Like I said:
Codependency isn’t cool.
10) She made my life into her life
Sharing things together is one of the good things about relationships.
But my girlfriend didn’t just appreciate or share in some parts of my life.
She basically took it over and made it her own.
My friends became her friends (not really, but in her mind).
My interests became her interests (really, who would have known she would end up getting that into tennis despite her bad knee).
Personal space:
Absolutely gone.
This girl was like a colonial country occupying my life.
She planted her feminine flag in every corner of my existence.
She also basically moved into my apartment without asking me. It started with her toothbrush and ended with me realizing she hadn’t left her own place in four days.
So, she liked me a lot, so what?
More like she wanted to control and be part of every part of my life.
At first, I was flattered, later I was annoyed as hell.
11) She constantly tried to win the ‘victim game’
If there were a Victim Olympics my girlfriend would have had enough gold medals to fill Fort Knox.
She was that good.
I’m talking about a professional victim.
Her boss ignored her; her boss was too pushy and always around.
Her brother was pissing her off because he kept asking for money; she wished her family would appreciate her more.
She didn’t grow up in a loving home, therefore she was scared of commitment, but she also felt like I wasn’t committed enough to our relationship.
I had this constant pressurized feeling that it was up to me to “fix” our relationship.
Yikes, yikes, yikes.
God forbid anything went the slightest bit wrong in her day:
I would hear about it for hours. She would cry and vent and I would start to wonder if I was really attracted enough to her to put up with this shit.
And in the end, the answer was no.
12) She kept a scorecard
Toxic codependent behaviors should have this one at the top.
Let me be clear:
She didn’t literally keep a scorecard, but damn could that girl keep track of every time she’d done something nice and how I owed her.
Maybe it’s the fact that she’s an accountant, maybe it was just her codependent nature.
But she made me feel like the spotlight was on me at all times.
And it actually made me resent even the nice things I did for her.
Because I felt like I was being tracked and monitored at all times.
She would rarely outwardly complain but she’d do these passive-aggressive things and use intimacy to manipulate me.
And the basis of her decisions was always this invisible scorecard where my actions and behavior were being judged.
13) She made me feel guilty
This is basically the main emotion I remember from our relationship:
Guilt.
There was always something I was doing that should have been more …
This unhealthy codependent feeling that I wasn’t doing enough to rescue or care for her kept creeping up on me.
And she encouraged it and stoked that fire of shame.
I let it keep burning, thinking it was passion and love.
But it was actually full of poisonous burning plastic fumes.
And I’m just glad I decided to leave that dumpster fire behind and go in the other direction before it turned into a forest fire.
14) She used sex to manipulate me
Aw, poor guy, my girlfriend didn’t always want to sleep with me.
Boo hoo.
Well, not quite.
In fact, what happened in many cases was the opposite:
She would flood me with intimacy, sex, and affection seemingly for no reason, and then yank it back and become an ice queen.
Meanwhile there I was just wondering what the hell was going on.
Then I finally noticed the pattern:
When I gave in to her victim narrative and sympathized and played the “savior” she beckoned me to bed like a delicious temptress …
But when I didn’t respond enough to satisfy her codependent tendencies or held back she went cold.
It all became very transactional:
I was basically paying for sex by playing the codependency game and reinforcing negative patterns that were making her less confident and more miserable deep down.
Harsh, I know.
But I didn’t come here to tell you lies.
15) She put me on a pedestal
I like to think I’m a good guy. Like I said, I’m not a dick (most of the time).
But my girlfriend worshiped me.
Sounds pretty good right?
Wrong.
Here’s why:
It gets tiring and kind of weird to be held up as some ideal of perfection by someone you’re in a relationship with.
I’m a flawed human like the rest of us, and I can’t always live up to the pedestal that she put me on.
I began to feel like I was playing a part in some community theater program.
That of the “perfect boyfriend.”
Here’s where you ask how her day was and stroke her hair and pretend to sympathize that not everything went perfectly for her today and her life is the hardest ever.
Ugh.
I just reached the end of my ability to be part of that drama.
And I’m honestly glad I made the decision to walk away.
But as for what you should do, that’s another subject:
What should you do if your partner is codependent?
Spoiler: I can’t make that decision for you.
What I can say is:
Do not commit yourself further into a toxic relationship.
Do not seek validation and fulfillment through a dependent attachment.
That’s not love.
Real love and respect are far different, and it starts with loving yourself.
With my (ex)-girlfriend I now understand a lot more looking back. She grew up in a rough home with parents who didn’t have time for her.
She learned a lesson that she wasn’t “good enough” and started to emphasize her victimhood to get what she wanted.
And that continued playing out in relationships, unfortunately.
I still care about her, really.
But I’m not in love with her. And I made the conscious decision not to continue feeding into the codependent addiction with her.
That’s something she has to work through on her own (and I have my own codependent-prone things to work through too with my “savior” instincts).
Nobody’s perfect like I said at the beginning.
But we do have the opportunity to improve and be a force for good in each other’s lives.
And that’s why I decided to leave and work on myself.
Codependent people and those with “codependent tendencies” have to work on their issues on their own.
The more they grasp for outside solutions, “love” and validation the worse their problems will get – and the bigger the letdown will be in the end.
Interdependence and supporting one another is awesome:
But codependence is something else entirely.
It’s not about support, it’s about toxic expectation and always taking emotions and validations you need …
So, whether you should leave or not can be a tough question:
Your decision is up to you – and your partner.
All I can say is:
Nobody else can fix you and the best love has no conditions put on it.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into place
It may sound conceited or narcissistic to focus on loving yourself first. But it’s not.
The point isn’t to believe you’re better than others or to accept things about yourself that you really do need to change.
It’s about developing a healthy and nurturing relationship with… you!
Loving yourself is about committing to who you are, understanding the many different nuances to your identity, and showing yourself a level of care and intimacy that we usually reserve for other people.
Unfortunately, we’re not taught how to love ourselves from an early age. And we end up caring about what others think of us rather than focusing on what we need at a more fundamental level.
This is why we partnered with Rudá Iandê to produce a free masterclass on transforming our relationships through the practice of self-love.
It’s currently playing on The Vessel (one of our partners) but only for a limited time.
<< The Art of Love & Intimacy with Rudá Iandê >>
Thousands have attended and told us that the masterclass has completely transformed their relationships for the better.
It’s a must-watch and we couldn’t recommend it more highly.
My ex-girlfriend is psychologically dependent on me.
Ask your question
-
My ex-girlfriend is psychologically dependent on me.
My girlfriend, with whom we broke up a month ago, has an unhealthy psychological dependence on me.
We broke up on my initiative, because I like being alone and I don't see myself as a family person. I am a loner.
We met a girl for about 3 years. In the end, her jealousy, weirdness, and inability to accept my hobbies, as well as my need for solitude, forced me to end the relationship. She tried many times to return me, insisted that she had become better. But it's not about her, it's about me. I do not need relationships, they cause discomfort and annoy me.
I don't know how to behave and how to stop her attempts to return the relationship. I treat her very well and I'm not interested in the "naori, let's go to hell" option (although I tried to send it, it didn't help).
How can I be, how can I get rid of all this? I don't want to hurt her, but I also don't want to suffer in an unnecessary relationship. Perhaps I still love her, but love is stupidity, a surge of hormones multiplied by affection, the lot of losers and fools.
I am also wondering how the situation will develop further? I absolutely don't want her to keep trying to get me back.
By the way, I live with my parents, and perhaps this is my attempt to "escape" from independence and fear of responsibility? I am completely confused by all this.M May advise: All users
- Z adal:
- Anonymous
- 8 years ago
Do you have a similar question? - Ask it here!
Ask your question!Tips:
-
Rating:
- Asker - Others Hello! I believe that first of all you need to develop yourself. Deal with your personality, or at least start. Read articles, books on self-development ... And what the girl does, says, and what the girl achieves, I think, look at it a little differently. Perhaps ... You are not alone at all life.
Just at one point in your relationship, you could not calmly and intelligibly explain your needs to your girlfriend. It is very important for every person to maintain their personal space. And for a man, this is especially necessary. Advice based on personal experience
Advised 8 years ago
-
Rating:
- Asker - Others Give her the book "Marilyn Monroe Syndrome". Written by Susan Israelson. Say that you will meet when she pro does all the exercises. but just be prepared that she can really forget you! It seems to me that in your heart you do not quite want this? Good luck to your girl!!!
Advice based on personal experience
Advised 8 years ago
-
Rating:
- Asker +5. 
0 Others (1) "Perhaps I still love her, but love is stupidity, a surge of hormones multiplied by affection, the destiny of losers and fools." - what kind of nonsense?
It turns out that you were a stupid, hormonally unstable loser for 3 years?
Or maybe you are really afraid of responsibility? In front of her, including, she may already be waiting for some development of another, serious step, and you got scared and hurried to say goodbye in order to avoid all this. How old are you?
Advised 8 years ago
-
Rating:
- Asker +5.0 Others (2) When did you realize that you were a loner? Or understood, but still met with her? It turns out that you gave a person hope for a serious relationship, and now they have taken it away.
Of course, that girl will not calm down so quickly - three years is a considerable period. I read that it takes a period to calm down - half as long as the relationship continued. Or they kick out a wedge with a wedge - can you introduce her to someone suitable?
Advised 8 years ago
Advise
Your conclusion on the question "My ex-girlfriend is psychologically dependent on me."
Help: how, why and what to write a conclusion about?| Tweet | Like |
Why draw conclusions
After reading another person's advice, it is very important to draw your own conclusion and make a new decision based on your own upbringing and values. And even better, identify the first few steps to get out of this situation. New actions are especially important for changing life! The result is impossible without action! This is like a plan.
P.S. Usually people are limited to a new understanding, although in fact understanding does not change the behavior of , it does not know how to do this. “Know, understand” and “do” unfortunately are not synonyms, there is a long distance between them. For example, all people understand everything, but they continue to perform low-quality actions and deeds. The reason is that there is no step-by-step algorithm of simple, specific, distinct, comfortable ACTIONS for the near future. The main requirement for action is behavioral certainty. “Love myself” is not an action. This is the accepted decision. And “I’ll buy myself new shoes” or “tonight I’ll tell my husband about my wish” are actions and they will change your life for the better.
What is the difference between a mature woman and a codependent., Psychology - Gestalt Club
once a purely psychological term, is increasingly used in everyday communication. It was originally associated with people whose partners or relatives are in alcohol, drug or other addiction, but this phenomenon is connected not so much with harmful habits, how much with the psychological state of a person.
Recently, it has begun to be discovered that codependency is it is very common and almost ubiquitous phenomenon.
Of course, people in a couple depend on each other, but this dependence may be excessive, or it may inadequate. In a relationship, partners exchange something with each other with a friend, but there are aspects of yourself that you need to give, and there are - which cannot be given away. Understanding this difference necessary to be aware of what is going on between you and how it contributes to strengthening their connection in the present and in the future.
What is the difference in the position of a woman in healthy and codependent relationships?
In this context, we will use the phrase "mature woman" to summarize personality traits psychologically mature, adult, knowledgeable, experienced woman.
Mature woman has self-respect and considers himself a value. Codependent woman unsure in its value and dignity and needs in the fact that a man constantly confirms them for her with your love.
A mature woman knows how to protect herself from the hardships of life on one's own. She knows how to solve problems for help, contact with different people. codependent a woman needs a man to protect her, because that doesn't feel capable of doing it on one's own.
Mature woman feels comfortable being alone and can live quite harmoniously alone without losing a sense of fulfillment and meaningfulness in one's life. A codependent woman cannot be left alone and does not feel the meaning of his life if she not in a relationship.
A mature woman knows how to support and console herself. Codependent woman needs a man to support and consoled her in a difficult situation.
When a man shows disrespectful behavior, ignores her, or behaves unworthily, a mature woman distances herself from a man. It becomes less accessible and directs her attention to other men or interesting to her lessons. Codependent woman believes that love should be unconditional, and remains close, continuing to give the man her warmth, time and attention, hoping that her kindness will appreciated and the man will change.
Mature woman knows what she is interested in, has hobbies, friends and strives to develop. Codependent woman gives his life to a man and does not leave himself any interests, apart from family relationships.
A mature woman, remaining part of the family, has her own personal a space that is inviolable. The dependent woman has shared email with husband, computer, password for pages in social networks, social circle, ways to relax ... Gradually it becomes difficult to discern differences in opinions, tastes, thoughts, desires, to understand who should own time, right choice.
A mature woman knows how to feel well what she wants, what suits her and what she likes. codependent woman has difficulty choosing things and needs in the advice of a man, mother, girlfriend or someone else, before make a decision.
A mature woman knows how to enjoy simple things, as well as aesthetically enjoy the art and beauty. A codependent woman can enjoy life and understand that "there is happiness" only when she is near with a man who loves her.
A mature woman always finds time to take care of herself, its beauty and health. Codependent woman constantly cannot find time for himself because of work, home, children, other cases.
A mature woman knows how much and what kind of attention she needs from a man, knows how to do it with him agree and calmly relate to the fact that a man has his own friends and interests. codependent a woman wants all the attention and all the time of a man only for herself and demands that he give up friends and dangerous hobbies.
A mature woman knows how to calmly tell her man about feeling disagreement with his behavior or relationship discomfort. Codependent woman trying do not spoil relations with conflicts and do not reverse attention to their internal signals.
A mature woman never "nags" her partner. She either supports him in his endeavors, or simply disappears from his life. Codependent woman throwing tantrums and scolds the man for not being like that, as she needs, pressing on the feeling of guilt, while in no way without changing your behavior towards him.
Mature woman expresses her needs and desires, giving a man the freedom to fulfill them or do not execute. She knows where the line is unacceptable for her, and knows how to appreciate the most important thing - depth and warmth in relationships. codependent woman makes demands and claims, complains and whines, and considers a man as a poorly functioning tool for the fulfillment of your desires.
A mature woman is not offended by her partner. She openly expresses his wishes and disagreements. codependent woman accumulates resentment for unfulfilled dreams and over time closes his heart to men.
A mature woman knows how to admire and respect her partner for the good that is in it, allowing it to be somehow imperfect. Codependent woman idealizes partner and expects him to solve all problems, especially in crisis situations.
A mature woman stays in a relationship because she knows that she chose her man. A codependent woman stays because that has a strong fear of being alone, and it seems to her that she has more men for herself will not find.
