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I caught my 12 year old daughter


"I caught my 12-year old son masturbating. What to do?"

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Updated: Mar 25, 2019, 16:22 IST

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Query: I am mother to a 13-year old. Me and my son, we share everything and I am glad that we have such an open and honest relationship with each other. However, me and my husband haven't had the sex talk with him yet. We thought we will wait till he turns a little older, when he is a little comfortable and more aware. One day, he was home alone and I just came back home from the market when I caught him touching his private parts. He got scared seeing me and avoided me all through the day. I tried talking to him but he went away from the room. I do not want him to think of masturbation as a bad thing but the way things are right now, he has shut himself out ever since that moment. What do I do now? As a parent, what should I tell my child about masturbation? I do not want our relationship to get spoiled. - By anonymous

Response by Dr. Sameer Malhotra:


It’s great that you share an honest relationship with your son. It’s quite common that parents hesitate to discuss sensitive topics pertaining to sexuality with their children. They underestimate what the child knows or is capable of knowing. Your son is an adolescent; an age marked with pubertal growth, hormonal upsurge and curiosity. It is a stage of transition from asexuality to sexuality. Touching and exploring one’s private parts is also a part of normal development.
It is important to discuss about the natural growing up process with your son. He may be more comfortable discussing the same with your husband. A few suggestions for your husband:

-As a parent, our purpose is to resolve mystery, confusion and shame around the issue.

-The parental approach should be empathic and open ended.

-Make the child feel that it is quite natural to have such feelings, and that it’s a part of natural growing process, so he should not feel guilty about it. At the same time it should not become an obsession and the only way to seek gratification/pleasure.

-Assure him that as a parent you have been through the growing process and would like to clear his concerns. Assure him that you are a safe source of information and that he can choose to talk about the same whenever needed.


-Use it as an opportunity to make him aware about sexual hygiene and safe practice.


-Encourage him into sports, creative hobbies to help him channelize his energy towards constructive goals.


-For the time being don’t force the conversation on him. First try to normalize the environment discussing neutral topics. Get rid of your own inhibitions and fears in approaching the topic, at the opportune time. Use it as a golden opportunity to provide him with sex education.


Dr. Sameer Malhotra is the Director, Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Max Hospitals.

End of the article

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Stealing and Your Child - What You Need to Know

“My fourteen year old daughter was arrested for shoplifting make-up this week,” said Marie, a working mother of two girls. “Is this just normal teen behavior, or is it something more serious? She’s grounded for a month and I’ve taken away her iPhone and computer privileges, but to tell the truth, I’m still in shock. I’m furious and I don’t even know how to talk to her about what she did.”

No matter what parents you have, no matter what mental health diagnosis, no matter what stage you’re in, it’s wrong to steal because it hurts others.

Many parents have asked me over the years, “Is shoplifting a candy bar or cosmetics or clothes the same as stealing?” The truth is, stealing is stealing. It’s criminal, antisocial and worst of all, it corrodes a child’s development, character and integrity through the use of justifications and excuses. However, shoplifting candy bars from a store and stealing with aggression are two very different acts.

Stealing is wrong, and the best way to understand it is to examine your child’s thinking. Kids who steal often feel entitled to what they’re stealing, even though they or their parents can’t afford it. There is a fierce sense of competitiveness amongst teens and pre-teens these days regarding having the cool stuff, wearing the hip clothes, and sporting hot make-up or accessories. Many kids will resort to stealing as a response to this phenomenon. Sometimes kids even steal for the sense of excitement it gives them, or do it under peer pressure.

A big part of the problem is that our society’s message is completely absent of a strongly objective morality. In most movies and songs today, the bad guys do good things and the good guys do bad things, and everybody looks the same. So kids justify what they’re doing. It’s not surprising when kids develop these ambivalent feelings about integrity, character and the difference between right and wrong.

The “Five Finger Discount”—What’s Behind a Child’s Thinking When He Shoplifts?

A child’s thinking behind this type of behavior is that “No one will get hurt and the store has a lot of money.” They rationalize that they need to have this stuff in order to be accepted. They might say, “My parents won’t allow me to buy clothing or makeup like this, so I have to steal it.” But remember this: It’s our job as parents, teachers and therapists to strongly defend the concept that stealing is wrong. Tell your children this: “Stealing is wrong for two reasons: It’s illegal and puts you at risk of being arrested and prosecuted. It’s also hurtful because when you take something that doesn’t belong to you, somewhere, someone down the line is being hurt.” Make it real to your child by explaining that if they shoplift cosmetics or video games, the company adjusts its price upwards to insulate itself, and all the rest of us pay a little more for it because of it.

If your child is caught stealing, in all cases, there needs to be meaningful consequences for the behavior.  To you as a parent, the most important aspect of your child’s decision to steal is the way of thinking that preceded the stealing. She should pay whatever the consequences are for stealing, and also write an essay on how she justified it. Ask her, “What were you thinking before you stole this?” Remember this: It is in the examination of the justifications and excuses where the true learning will take place.

Certainly consequences like making her take the stolen item back to the store, apologizing and making financial amends are all very good parts of the equation. That kind of accountability can be very productive in deterring future stealing, if accompanied by an examination of the faulty thinking which drove them to do it. You also might give them the consequence of, “You can’t go to the mall for two weeks. Two weeks of no stealing.” If parents ask me, “How do I know?” I say “Don’t worry about it. They need to get another chance. You’re not there to be a cop.” Always give them the chance to earn your trust back.

Stealing with Aggression: A Whole Different Mindset

“Aggression” means a “threat of harm or violence or the use of harm or violence.” Some kids have gotten to a level of stealing where they are willing to physically assault someone else to take what they want. When dealing with stealing with aggression, the focus has to be on very strong consequences to deter future behavior, as well as a very focused examination of the thoughts, not the feelings, the thoughts which underlie this type of behavior. When people steal with aggression, they’re clearly saying, “I want that bad enough that I’ll hurt you if you don’t give it to me,” which is very different than a shoplifter who says, “This won’t hurt the company, they have a lot of money.” It’s a very different mindset and has to be addressed with vigor.

Let me be clear: Stealing with aggression is hardcore antisocial behavior. When you deal with individuals who exhibit criminal behavior, you’ll often find that one-on-one, they can be very charming, pleasant, and intelligent. Many criminals have advanced social manipulative skills. The difference between a criminal and a non-criminal is that the criminal is willing to use violence and aggression to get what he wants, while the non-criminal has very strong boundaries in those areas. So when children are willing to use violence and aggression to get their way, it can be a key indicator that they are quite far down the wrong path. Of course there are always isolated incidents where kids will threaten other kids to get their way. Adolescent bravado can sometimes lead to threats. The astute adult has to ferret out which is which. But make no mistake, if your child is using threats of violence and aggression to steal, he has to be dealt with very sternly. Again, it is very difficult to counteract the media forces in our society which constantly advocate aggression and violence as legitimate means to solve problems. Our media promotes the idea that if you want or need something bad enough and you have a good excuse-making system in place, you can justify anything. And you can use aggression and violence to achieve your end.

So here’s the message kids are getting: “If you can justify it, then it’s OK to do it.” And we all know that kids can justify anything. So society has to react very strongly to aggression and threats involving stealing or anything else. I mean, look around you. Look at all the violence and aggression, senseless killing. Now think about this: in the minds of the kids who are committing that violence they believe it’s the OK thing to do. If you look beneath the violence, to the thinking patterns, it’s very scary. That’s why you see situations like Columbine and Virginia Tech, where kids commit horrible violence on other kids and justify it because they perceive themselves as victims. Stealing is wrong and hurtful. But stealing with aggression and violence is much more problematic and needs to be dealt with aggressively.

If Your Child is Stealing within the Family, Everyone is Paying the Price

It’s common to hear that kids steal from their family members. Younger kids after all don’t have the level of moral development that leads to them understanding that this type of stealing is wrong and hurtful. This has to be taught with patience and firmness. Stealing within the family should have the same consequences as stealing from a store, whether it’s from a sibling or a parent. Labeling, yelling and name-calling does not change the behavior. Discussions about the rights of others and respect for other’s property, followed by a consequence the child must carry out, are the preferred ways of dealing with theft in the family.

For young children, a consequence might be that they go to their room with the door open for 15 minutes, at the end of which time you come in and talk with them about stealing. Focus on the child realizing he was wrong, instead of just saying he is sorry. As kids get older, other consequences come into play, like paying rent for the stolen property, paying back the stolen money, and loss of social privileges. Tell them you’re taking away their privileges because you’re not sure they can be trusted outside of the house. Don’t forget that if someone is unsafe or untrustworthy in the house, there should be real concern about what kind of trouble they might get into outside of the house where there is even less structure.

Volume and frequency of the stealing are also important to address. If a pre-adolescent or adolescent steals a large amount of money, which is measured compared to what the family has, the police should be called and you should be starting the legal process. This is designed to hold that child legally responsible, not only family-responsible. The assumption here is that you’ve tried all you can within the family and it’s not working, and that now the police have to get involved. Stealing is a crime. These acts should be looked at as criminal acts more than as mental health problems. While mental health issues may be involved, adults who have mental health problems are punished for stealing just like adults without mental health problems. Prisons and correctional institutions are full of people with mental health problems who also stole. They’re not in jail for mental health problems, they’re in jail for stealing.

If there’s a high frequency of theft, or stealing for no apparent reason or the hoarding of food, that can indicate deeper psychological forces at play. These kids need to be assessed to see if there’s a therapeutic response to their behavior. But make no bones about it, they also need to be held accountable in the home as well as outside of the home for their antisocial behavior.

Although stealing may be a symptom of a larger problem, it is still stealing. The lesson about not stealing has to be reinforced and the child has to be held accountable. We can’t make excuses about antisocial and harmful behavior even when it occurs in the home. Remember, you’re trying to produce a person who can function safely and productively in adult society. Excusing stealing will not produce that person. Sometimes parents minimize this behavior and it comes back to hurt them later on.

Related content: Kids Stealing from Parents: What You Need to Know

When Your Trust is Betrayed: How to let Your Child Earn it Back

The sense of betrayal that parents feel after their child has stolen from them is very real and should be addressed openly. If it’s a younger child, certainly the emotion should be screened out of it, and your child should be taught about trust. The way you’d explain trust to a younger child is by saying, “Stealing is hurtful and if somebody trusts you, it’s important not to hurt them.” Explain that trust is really a word we use for depending upon other people to do certain things or to not do certain things. The stronger that our belief is that they won’t hurt us, the deeper the sense of violation is. As kids get older and become teens, I think that their loyalties and allegiances are torn between the values of their peer group and the values of their family. Very often there’s a contradiction between the two. This contradiction needs to be tolerated by parents to a certain degree because the teenager’s developmental role is to become an individual. And one of the ways that teens do that is by pushing their parents away and by rebelling against family norms and values. A certain amount of rebelliousness should be tolerated. Nonetheless, a teenager stealing from parents is not an act of rebelliousness. It’s a violation of trust and it’s the commission of a petty crime in an arena where the teen doesn’t feel there will be severe consequences.

If there are several acts of stealing, they should be dealt with sternly in the family, using the behavioral concepts that I mentioned earlier. If there is major stealing of money and other valuables, the parents should consider involving the police and pressing charges. Although this seems harsh, the principles behind it are easy to understand. If a teen is stealing from you because he perceives you as being weak and if family consequences aren’t helping with that, the family needs to seek outside help in order to strengthen itself. Secondly, and this is very important, if kids get away with stealing valuables from home, they’re going to develop a value system which allows for stealing any time the person can justify it. When I have gone to youth detention centers to talk to the teens I was working with about the crimes that got them there, they invariably had a justification for it. That type of justification, or what we call an “alibi system,” is developed and reinforced at home. In short, teens develop a way of thinking to justify their teenage behavior. They develop an alibi for everything. Once that alibi system becomes criminalized, you’ll see an increase in the amount of antisocial behavior such as stealing, drug use, and sometimes aggression. Parents who insulate kids from the consequences of their behavior are only extending, supporting and reinforcing the bad judgments that lead to those behaviors.

The way trust is won back: for younger kids, they should be told what to do in order for the family to feel like they trust them again. “Don’t take your brother’s things so I can trust you to be upstairs alone. If you steal something from your older brother, you can’t go upstairs unsupervised.” Make the child uncomfortable. Consequences make them uncomfortable. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink—but you can make them thirsty. Consequences are designed to make the child thirsty.

In addition, positive statements about trust should be made frequently with younger kids. “When you handle it that way, I know I can trust you.” Model the values you want your younger kids to have and identify them. Make statements like, “It’s good when you tell me the truth. I know I can trust you downstairs with the TV. I know I can trust you to go into my bedroom.” The more we say statements like that, that you see what your child is doing, or you hear what they’re saying, the more real it makes them feel. With older kids who steal, it’s important to say, “You’ve lost my trust, and therefore you can’t go upstairs alone. I don’t think I’m going to be able to trust you around money again. So I’m going to close my bedroom door and you can’t go in anymore.” There are parents who put locks on their doors, and I think kids should pay for those locks. But always give them a means to earn that trust back, either in that conversation or a subsequent one.

Is Your Child Stealing Chronically?

If a kid steals chronically, earning a parent’s trust back is the least of his problems. Because he’s already developing an alibi system that says it’s OK to hurt the people you love. There are plenty of parents who don’t trust their kids around their money and valuables. In today’s society, parents are second class citizens and there’s almost a societal expectation that their kids will abuse them and that they should take it, and that’s just crazy. That expectation is expressed in justifications like, “All kids steal, all kids lie, kids sometimes lose their temper.” But certainly all kids don’t lie or steal to the same degree, nor do all kids verbally abuse their parents and break things in the home. And when they do, they need to be held strictly accountable.

Right and Wrong: There is a Difference

I truly empathize with what parents are up against these days. The concept of right and wrong has taken a real beating in our recent history. It’s been replaced by the concepts of “consumerism” and “possessiveness.” Therefore, when you tell kids it is wrong to steal, they have limited formal moral and ethical training to use as a reference point, and whatever moral and ethical training they have is easily drowned out by the media, which screams at them constantly. And there’s too much excuse-making for kids’ behavior. Adults say “It’s only a stage he’s going through.” Or he has ADD. Or his father is an alcoholic. And they keep making those excuses until the kid is in serious trouble. Things like developmental stages or mental health diagnoses or family influences have to be dealt with as separate issues from the stealing or aggression. Do these issues need to be addressed? Of course they do. Are they significant? Absolutely. Should they be allowed to justify stealing or aggression? Never. No matter what parents you have, no matter what mental health diagnosis, no matter what stage you’re in, it’s wrong to steal because it hurts others.

That has to be black and white to everybody.

What is known about the murder of a 12-year-old schoolgirl in the Ust-Donetsk district of the Rostov region: a report from a farm in which the correspondent speaks with the alleged killer - October 31, 2022

Every time there is news about the death of children, you shudder with horror. It is terrible to imagine what monsters are capable of such crimes. Especially when it comes to small villages, where, it would seem, everyone is in full view of each other. Just imagine - only 11 streets, 700 inhabitants and livestock, rickety houses with carved shutters - this is the Terekhovsky farm, where on October 24 a 12-year-old schoolgirl was killed. Mashenka died from a blow to the head with a stone - without torment, but after death the body was brutally mutilated: 20 times with a kitchen knife they hit in the face, once in the heart. Correspondent 161.RU (City portals) Sabina Bondar visited the Ust-Donetsk region and, while talking with residents, stumbled upon the alleged killer.

The names of all the characters in the publication, including the victim and alleged killers, have been changed.

Terekhovsky is located two to three hours from Rostov. We drive through dying mining towns and autumn greyness. That this farm, that the neighboring ones are quiet places.

Locals remember that the last time such a murder took place half a century ago. They talk about it now as if it happened yesterday. In the 1970s, a three-year-old boy disappeared from the neighboring village of Mostovoy. After three days of searching in the forest, they found a mutilated body - the kidnapper mocked the child while the farmers were looking for the baby.

In the Terekhovskoy farm there are many old and abandoned houses

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Asphalt road in places

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Most of the Uklutorens holds Scotin

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Street names in Terekhovsky, despite the revival of Cossack traditions, still refer to the Soviet past: Titov, Gagarin, Patriots, Svoboda… The body of a murdered schoolgirl was found behind a shop on the morning of October 25 on Peace Street.

12-year-old Masha came from the neighboring village of Yevseevsky to the store for bread. The two villages are closely connected. The road from the girl's house to the place of the murder takes only 15-20 minutes.

The air in Terekhovka is clean, fresh in autumn. Dirt underfoot and empty streets remind that the farm lives far from civilization. And the locals feel good there ... We walk along the abandoned houses of Mira Street. We can see that they are strangers, but the first residents of Terekhovsky, with village spontaneity, agree to talk about what happened.

A feature of old houses is carvings on huts

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, - says a farmer with callused hands from work, leaning on the door of a makeshift fence. “Her body was found there, behind the store. Everything is very scary. Such a case ... We have been here for three days now, everyone has been walking, prowling.

- Who do you suspect?

— God knows. Nobody. Everyone. Her parents are weird. Folder and mother of that, or what? Strange, in general. Everyone is suspect. It seems like some kind of soldier came to his aunt's wedding, or something. And then he did not return to the unit. So he is suspected. There, around the corner, a bunch of DPEs are standing, and further on - a dozen or three policemen are still walking around the farms. Already tired of questions. If they were looking for something specific or someone, otherwise ... They ask, write down, ask again.

The fugitive contract soldier was indeed the first to be suspected of the murder of a schoolgirl. His orientation photo was hung in several farms of the Ust-Donetsk region.

There are several grocery stores in two farms, but that day Masha went to the Zarya store in Terekhov. According to the relatives of the deceased, there might not have been bread in the store near the house in the afternoon.

“You are not local, you can be seen right away,” says the saleswoman Angelina, who has been answering questions from police and investigators for two days. “We all know each other here. They found her in the grass behind her cousin's grandmother's house - there it is, this brick house.

Angelina is the last person to see the girl alive. Except for those involved in the murder. Remembering that day, she seems to justify herself for what happened.

The shop stands in the center of Terekhovsky farm

came out. There is an alley behind the house, and a road leads to this beam. There she was found. In the weeds lay, showered with dry branches, - says the woman. - On October 24, she came to me at about three in the afternoon, took two loaves of bread, seeds, paid with a card and left. Nobody saw her again. Cameras outside. It can be seen from them that she went around the corner of the house into the alley. Yesterday the Rostov policemen came to me, then the Moscow ones. I told them that I had already been interrogated, and they, they say, now we are.

Angelina shows a video of Masha dancing on Teacher's Day. Her son is a classmate of the deceased.

The teacher sent a video of the dance to the parents

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— Everyone calls the girl sick. Well, not that she was sick ... She was normal. A little bit there with her speech is something, and that's it. Outwardly, nothing was noticeable on it. The fact that the mother is a little inadequate, I know. What a seed, such a tribe, - the woman says.

There is one school in the district. Angelina says that the children there are different - it all depends on the family, upbringing. There are those whose parents drink deeply and they are on their own, but everyone, apparently, does not care about this.

The school bus used to take children to school from several nearby farms. Now - only from Evseevka and Terekhovka

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— What kind of family does Masha have?

- Three children: the eldest is 17 years old, Masha was here, and the youngest boy is 7 years old. Her mother works in the mine on a shovel - sorts out coal, pulls these buckets. <...> They live in Evseevka, but our mother, Terekhovskaya (here we are talking about the mother of the deceased. - Note ed. ). In Evseevka, they bought some kind of hut for mother capital. Her husband, Kolya, also works at the mine and also works on a shovel - in a factory.

During the hour of conversation with the saleswoman, no one entered the store. The street is also empty. Angelina says that after what happened, people are afraid to let the kids out on the street. Everyone began to close the huts, although earlier one could easily go into any courtyard. The woman increasingly recalls the events of the ill-fated day and continues the story of the family.

The very alley where Masha turned

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And here they found the body of a schoolgirl

] said she had to go to work, you see. She was going to go to work with peace of mind. How is that? The woman doesn't calm down. - The child did not spend the night at her house, but her great-aunt began to search. She was with her neighbors and made a fuss, they told the police in the evening, but not my mother. I remember Grandma Dusya and her neighbors running up to me and asking: “Did your little one buy two loaves of bread?” I say, "Yeah, sort of." They ran out with the words: “Here is Masha, here is the infection, where is she?”

The store has tall grass and muddy footprints left by dozens of state-owned boots. Here they found the mutilated body of a girl. “There was no face on her, only a mess,” relatives will later recall. The silence of the gloomy place is broken by a short woman who walks past, quickly moving her feet and buttoning her jacket.

— Can you tell me where the family that suffered the tragedy lives?

— So they are in Yevseevka — across the bridge, and her cousin and children are right here, — the woman points to the house opposite the store. - Duska, here she lives - she has been looking for her, poor thing, for how long. Do you want a ladies phone?

The woman, like everyone else in the farm, knew about the tragedy

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We reach a brick house. The gate is open. We call the hostess, and after a while the same woman Dusya, her daughter-in-law and a chubby boy of 12 years old come out of the house.

— Are you asking about Masha? So she’s gone,” the elderly woman begins. The mother sent the child for bread. Wait, wait, but she's not there. Here, next to the store, the mother's grandfather lives with a woman who is different - not with her grandmother. Grandma died a long time ago. The little one was supposed to visit her grandfather. And she went the other way.

She is interrupted by her daughter-in-law:

- They say that there was not even blood there. There were rumors that they had been killed elsewhere and brought here. People walk around here during the day, how did no one hear the screams? The whole face of the child is cut with a knife, what kind of bastards are these?

Women vying with each other about the rumors that go around the farms. A chubby boy listens with interest at the gate, sometimes throwing comments about Masha. Farmers recall that the day before the murder they saw a suspicious man in the alley - not a local. Allegedly, he stared intently at Baba Dusya when she walked by, and then disappeared somewhere.

Baba Dusya was one of the first to start looking for Masha

- This guy came up to the store and asked for a cigarette from ours, and he says something in his chest skipped a beat. He was in a cap on his head, such a terrible one. We don't know him. He is not ours,” Baba Dusya continues. “Now we lock all the doors, gates with a latch and lock with a key. The children are laughing with their grandson: they never shut up, but now it's scary.

- Who else do you suspect?

- The second was suspected of being a warrior in [farm] Mostovoy. They said that he served at the front, was even a prisoner. He served nine months and paid off, or went on vacation, - says the daughter-in-law. - Like, hiding - does not want to fight back. And then our people said that this was Tatyana Petrovna's nephew from the Volgograd region.

— Does Masha have a complete family?

— Olka lived with her husband, arguing, of course. And when they were arguing, Kolya left from there, from Evseevka, and lived with us, in Terekhovka. And then, as they reconcile, he returned. A misfortune happened, and he again went there, - says Baba Dusya. - Masha studied poorly. She was left in the same class for two years. The teacher is good, she seemed to pull her. Although her mother and I were relatives, we almost did not communicate, and I always felt sorry for Masha: the children mocked her.

According to relatives, Masha's mother only went to the police in the morning, because she did not believe that the girl had really disappeared. The woman began looking for her when her husband returned with his eldest daughter from Ust-Donetsk. The parents joined in the search for the child and searched for the girl until midnight. On the morning of the 25th, Olga herself reported to the police.

- Mother thought maybe Masha had lost her bank card and was afraid to go home, that they would scold her. As they said, that everyone was looking, but the mother went home, so she went, because she thought that she would come herself. You can't blame her.

How could she have been so brutally murdered, child? - continues Baba Dusya. “They say the suspects are teenagers. Now the children are being interrogated at school. We are in total shock. Masha was friends with a girl from one of the class, and with a neighbor's boy - that's all. When they left her for the second year, they teased her, then they forgot. Then, as the second time Masha stayed for the second year, they teased in the class. Yes, Matthew? she addresses her 12-year-old grandson.

The chubby boy nods:

- Well, they called her names, all that, like dumb, she doesn’t catch up often. Then they stopped, then teased again, well, because she was stupid.

Dusya is pulling at a teenager:

— Why are you stupid? She's not dumb, she just doesn't speak well.

Grandmother recalls how she used to read and write with her great-aunt granddaughter, saying: “Come on, Mashul, remember, what are you doing? So you and I will learn everything.”

- Is Masha's lag hereditary or was she just lazy?

- God knows, but I think there is something. The boy, Vanechka, [mother] did not let him go to the first grade, although he was 7 years old, - says Baba Dusya. - Olina's mother died when she went to first grade. Their father remained, but he was an alcoholic. Here is the grandmother of three children and raised.

The way to the neighboring farm goes through the bridge, although, as it turned out, there are two bridges in the village. Masha walked along the one that shortens the path to the store. The neighboring farm is also deserted. The streets are covered in mud. Rare farmers, seeing strangers, cautiously answer questions.

Animals are kept here in almost every yard

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In the villages there is practically no asphalt

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- Did you hear what happened in Terekhovka? we ask the locals.

- Of course. All the men in the farms [samples] had DNA taken from their noses and throats. God knows what the little one did not please, ”one answers, puffing on tobacco.

— What kind of family does Masha have?

- You can't say that the family is straight drunks. Children - yes, on their own. We ourselves are in shock. If they had found it somewhere far away, then maybe they would have thought of mushroom pickers. A lot of people come to us for mushrooms, and so, near the store ... God knows. Everyone in the farm is familiar. This is one of his own.

On the bench we meet another woman surrounded by two cats in love and a dog the size of a palm. Animals, surrounding the woman, lick each other, and the dog now and then strives to attack, protecting his possessions. Hearing that it is about Masha's family, Lyudmila also enters into a conversation.

Lyudmila assures that the girl was very friendly and benevolent

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— Whom did this girl interfere with? Always passed - smiled, said hello. Here are all the males and cats always sit with me. She came over and petted them. Everyone has been in shock for several days now. That, it would seem, is why I need her, and I go to bed and think about her, I wake up and think about her again. Maybe they brought her and threw her there? Well, if they were killed, who would have heard?

People are standing near the Machine House - they are relatives from Olga's husband's side. Parents are not at home - they went to the morgue for the body of their daughter. The girl was supposed to be buried on October 27, but everything was postponed to the 28th: ​​the experts needed another day.

- Bring "stubarets" from home. It will be necessary to put the coffin somewhere, - the tall man shouts. Several other relatives leave the house one by one. Someone came from another area, and someone from a neighboring farm.

Masha's family lives almost at the end of the farm

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Neighbors with sympathy pass by the house where Masha's relatives have gathered

4 Photo: Evgeny Vdovin / 161.RU

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A short woman tries to call Olga to find out when they will be back.

“We left for Masha,” says one of the relatives, Irina. - I went when Masha was found, there. Olya's brother's stepson was suspected. He is 18 years old, his bank card was found next to Masha's body. They took him for a DNA test, look at the cuts. Saliva was found on the child's face. But then they let him go. It seems to be nothing.

The men standing near the house put forward their versions in defense of the guy:

— Maybe he lost his card at that place earlier, but he was also suspected. He said he ran through there and lost the type card three days ago.

— Masha would never have approached a stranger on her own, rather, some kids called, — continues Irina. “She was hit on the back of the head. They will find, we think, if not today, then tomorrow. The whole face of a child is cut with a knife, but would a man do that as an adult? I think no. These are some inadequate teenagers, whom she knew and whom she approached. You see, she never approached anyone else.

Mothers did not immediately report their daughter's death. According to Irina, the girl was found around 11 am. The policeman, who then took Olga's testimony, could not immediately say.

— When they found the body, Olka was pumped out here. They called an ambulance, they gave her an injection, ”recalls a relative. - I myself told my father that they had found it, and I myself went to that place. She called and told him: "Be strong, brother." They didn't let me in so as not to erase the traces of the criminals. They came, they stood, they cried. Everyone was afraid to tell their parents.

It starts to rain, but none of the relatives enter the house - everyone is waiting for their parents to return with a coffin. Relatives in the courtyard are whispering: they say, the weather is even crying today.

Masha's older sister enters the yard first. Not at all surprised by the crowd at the house. Silently passes into the house and soon joins everyone. The girl looks thoughtfully at one point all the time and then suddenly says: “Bah, where will Masha be buried? Remember, I had a dream, I must be next to my sister.

As it turned out, Olga's second daughter died at the age of three months, a few years before Masha. The mother named the next child by the same name. Irina laments:

When she gave birth, the grandmothers in the farm told me: “Ask for money, and then let the mother bring the child into the yard, since they named the dead child after her. ” And so they did - superstition, you know. But it didn’t help,” the woman laments. - Father Mashkin also had two children before Olka in his first marriage. The eldest son here committed suicide in January. He was about 26 years old. He had two strokes, and then Masha dies. God, how can they survive all this, the poor?

Masha was buried on the morning of October 28

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The coffin with pink upholstery was brought in late in the evening. His relatives carried him into the corridor of the house, along with wreaths and stools soaked in the rain. Mother walked blacker than the night that fell on the family. Several people brought her into the house. Next, the pale father of the deceased hastily entered. We went out.

A cross and a wreath forgotten by one of the relatives were wet near the fence in the deserted yard.

The funeral took place on the morning of 28 October. Residents of both farms came to see the girl off on her last journey - Evseevsky, where she lived, and Terekhovsky, where she was killed. The girl was buried in a Cossack dress - the child liked the traditions.

— Olya was pumped out today. The coffin was already loaded into the car, and she began to become hysterical. She screamed that she didn’t want the coffin to be taken away, relatives say. - She leaned on a coffin in the cemetery, and he almost fell. She shouted:

On the eve of the funeral, two teenagers were arrested in Evseevka - the girl's neighbors, who live literally behind the fence. The security forces suspected two brothers aged 12 and 17 in the murder.

— When swabs were taken at school from everyone, they checked for DNA, then the turn came to Semyon, 17 years old. They say he said: “You don’t need to take a swab from me. I killed her." When they told the director of the school, she began to shout: “I don’t believe it,” relatives retell what happened. They were with their brother. Then the knife and jacket were found in the barn covered in blood. First, she was hit on the head with a stone. She died immediately, and then they went for a knife, returned and inflicted 21 stab wounds. They were immediately arrested. Mother is too. A day later they were released, but they were told - for an investigative experiment.

According to relatives, when her mother started looking for Masha, the first thing she ran into was the neighbor's house. The girl was friends with the youngest of the boys.

They searched for the child literally in every hut of the farm

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None of the two farms remained indifferent to the trouble of this family - There were no mothers of children. Seeds, the eldest, too. The youngest was at home. Olya asked if he had seen Masha. Then Olya did not understand that Masha was gone, but she just thought she was playing, - family members retell the story. - And the younger boy turned around, looked with such a look, which Olya, she says, had never seen him, and said: “What, Masha disappeared?” The smaller one had some kind of love for Masha, or something. Well, they often ran together. Olya thought: how did he know that she was gone, because she did not speak.

Despite the older neighbor's confession, the security forces continued to take swabs from teenagers in farms the next day. A source in law enforcement agencies told us that a third suspect has appeared in the case. It was about him on the morning of October 29 that the regional investigative department of the Investigative Committee reported. Without indicating the age, the security forces named a distant relative of the victim alleged in the murder.

We have another shock. They arrested Masha's relative - Matvey, the 12-year-old grandson of Baba Dusi, - relatives told me, commenting on the message of the UK. - The police took him to the polygraph, where he lied all the time, but later admitted that he had killed Masha. Prior to this, the parents did not allow the minor to take DNA at school and check it on a polygraph.

— After committing a crime, he came home in a jacket with blood. The mother asked where the blood came from, and the kid lied that he cut himself while collecting nuts, - the source of the editorial office in the authorities retells the version of the investigation. - The woman washed the jacket, but after a series of investigative actions and highlighting, blood stains were noted on the clothes. Matvey confessed and is now considered the main person involved in the crime. The 17-year-old's previous testimony is being verified. The investigation has suspicions that all three are somehow involved in the girl's murder, and the elder just wants to take the blame.

The brick house in front of the store, the blue fence and the chubby boy who nodded his head when his mother asked him again appeared before my eyes: “Then, when Masha stayed for the second time for the second year, they teased again. Yes, Matthew?

80 days in the basement of horrors. How a 12-year-old girl survived in the captivity of a serial killer and a pedophile “And an unbearable temperament,” her mother always added. She did not like that her daughter loves football, plays cars and roller skates - no, she would not take an example from her sisters with more feminine hobbies. However, it was Sabina's glib nature that helped Sabina when she was kidnapped by a serial killer and pedophile. Lenta.ru tells how a girl from the city of Tournai in Belgium did not give up and waited for her release.

The day of the kidnapping

On May 28, 1996, 12-year-old Sabina Dardenne went to school on a green bicycle given to her by her godfather. The drive to school took about 10 minutes. Usually in the middle of the way, Sabina met with a friend and her younger brother, and they drove to school together. However, no one was waiting for her that day, and she continued on her way alone. The street was suspiciously quiet: no dogs, no cars, no people hurrying to work. Everything changed when a rusty van suddenly appeared in front of her.

Suddenly the car door opened and an unknown man appeared and grabbed Sabina. He covered her mouth and eyes and wrapped her in a dirty blanket. The kidnapper tried several times to force the girl to swallow some pills, but she started screaming. Sabina tried to find out who he was and what he wanted from her, but he did not answer.

Sabine Dardenne after her release

Photo: Reuters

The kidnapper warned that if she did not take the pills voluntarily, he would still force her to do so. Then Sabina put them in her mouth and washed them down with Coca-Cola.

While the van was driving in an unknown direction, Sabina went over alternative scenarios in her head: she thought about how she could escape, what would happen if she screamed and called for help. Her heart was pounding, her stomach ached with excitement, and her clothes were wet with sweat.

When the van stopped, the man asked the girl to climb into an iron box that looked like a tool box. She began to resist and insist that she would not fit in it. As a result, the unknown man, with the help of his partner, forced the prisoner into the box and closed the lid

The car drove about another kilometer, after which the box was brought into the room and Sabina was ordered to get out. She found herself in a dark room one on one with an unfamiliar man. Around were children's toys, there was a small bed. The floor was littered with tools and bricks.

The kidnapper poured Sabina a glass of milk and then took her to the second floor. There was a bunk bed. He put a chain around the prisoner's neck and chained her to the bed ladder. Sabina cried all night.

Evil plan

In the morning, the man allegedly disclosed the purpose of the kidnapping. He said, “You are in serious danger. A very powerful person wants you dead. He is the leader of our gang. When your father was a gendarme, he caught him, and now it's time for revenge. The choice fell on you. Your father will have to pay a ransom of three million Belgian francs. "

On the third day, the kidnapper told Sabina that her parents allegedly refused to pay the ransom, and now she would have to be killed. But then he offered the girl to save her and took her to the basement, where a tiny room was hidden behind a sliding wardrobe. There was an old mattress infested with bugs, a small shelf, two lamps, an old TV, a game console and a small bench. The room also had a fan and a table.

The man provided the captive with milk, water and moldy bread. He told Sabina to sit quietly and not draw attention to herself. Every time he went downstairs, he said, "It's me," before opening the door.

Even though the girl spent several days with her tormentor, she still didn't know who he was. Sabina tried to get information from the man about his past and present. He said that a gang of dangerous criminals lives in the house where they were. According to him, he was single and had no children. All this was not true.

“Resign to your fate”

The kidnapper raped the girl every day and washed her only once a week. A few weeks later, Sabina received a set of clothes - a T-shirt and shorts.

On June 13, the prisoner wrote her first letter to her family. She told how she misses her warm bed and worries that she will never see her relatives again. She wondered if her parents would still be able to pay the ransom and free her from imprisonment. Sabina gave the letter to the kidnapper to give it to her father and mother.

The man lied that the parents told their daughter the following: “Be quiet, obedient and eat well. Money cannot be found. Accept your fate, now the man who stole you is your husband." These words traumatized the girl: she immediately believed in them and began to blame herself for being naughty and causing a lot of trouble to the family. Nevertheless, she did not lose hope of changing and earning forgiveness.

Residents of Tournai burn posters about the disappearance of Sabine Dardenne after her release

Photo: Reuters

On June 21, the kidnapper went on a so-called business trip and left Sabina alone for five days. In those days, she began to carefully examine the walls of the room. She thought that under a layer of paint there could be traces of former prisoners of the dungeon. Then she remembered the ad in the newspaper about the disappearance of two teenage girls and was horrified to find the names written on the walls.

After returning, the kidnapper slept in the same bed with Sabina every night and chained her to his leg so that she would not escape. When the man began to trust the captive more, he allowed her to sometimes move around the house on her own and read magazines.

In one of them, Sabina found information about the subscription with the address to which the latest issues were sent. From the index, she realized that she was several hundred kilometers from home. She also learned that her tormentor's name was Marc Dutroux.

On July 9, the girl wrote another letter to her parents asking for forgiveness. They allegedly replied that she should endure further. Sabina's condition worsened: her skin was irritated by insect bites that lived in the mattress. Due to the fact that she did not brush her teeth, they began to hurt badly.

In one of the letters that Sabina addressed to her mother, she told about all that she had experienced and promised to change.

Another victim

In early August, Sabina began to bleed, and Dutroux provided her with diapers, which she changed every half an hour. The rape stopped, the offender stopped being interested in the fate of the captive.

Thinking that she was dying, Sabina asked the kidnapper to bring her girlfriend. A day later, Dutroux reported that he had brought another girl, who turned out to be 14-year-old Laetitia Deleuze.

Release of Laetitia Deleuze

Photo: Charles Caratini/Sygma via Getty Images

A few days later, the captives were alone. Letitia told Sabina that all of Belgium was looking for her, and her parents couldn't find a place for themselves. Sabina did not immediately believe the words of a new acquaintance because of the answers to letters that Dutroux transmitted from her parents.

Letizia then told her story of the kidnapping, which was the same as Sabina's. The difference was that she was older and couldn't fit in the box, so she was carried into the house wearing a blanket.

Since the appearance of Laetitia, Sabina has completely ceased to be interested in Dutroux. Despite the horror of what was happening, she was relieved by this.

Soon the kidnapper stopped going down to the cellar and bringing water and food to the captives. Three days later, the girls only had biscuits left. To be less thirsty, they tried to sleep more. On August 15, they lay down on the mattress, pressed against each other and suddenly heard male voices and the sound of breaking bottles

Sabina told Leticia that she had never heard such sounds before. But soon there was a familiar and at the same time chilling “this is me”, and Dutroux appeared on the stairs, but he was not alone. Seeing him, Sabina began to scream hysterically that she would not go anywhere, and then the second captive took her by the hand and said: "Don't be afraid, this is the police. "

The tires of Marc Dutroux's car helped the investigation to find a connection between his victims

Photo: Reuters

Svoboda

It turned out that the eyewitnesses of Letitia's abduction managed to remember the number of the van and reported it to the police. Then it was revealed that the car belongs to Mark Dutroux. However, the police did not expect to see the missing Sabina in the basement.

After the girls were released, they began to help the investigation. The first thing Sabina told was that she was very ashamed that Letizia was captured because of her. Sabina spent 80 days in captivity. When she returned home, relatives, neighbors and reporters were waiting for her. Everyone wanted to hug her and hear the details of the kidnapping.

Sabina remembers most of all the meeting with her grandmother, who whispered in her ear: “I am so glad to see you!” According to the girl, these words gave her confidence that she was loved.

Meeting of Sabine Dardenne and Laetitia Deleuze with Belgian Prime Minister Jean-Luc Dehaene

Photo: Yves Herman / Reuters

At a meeting with the family, the former captive asked about the affairs of her relatives, she did not want to remember what happened to her, and translated the topic as soon as someone tried to find out the details of imprisonment.

I wanted to forget everything and create myself anew. The way I want. The main thing was not to plunge into this story every day

Sabina Dardenne

However, Sabina still found out who her kidnapper was and what his past was.

Family of killers

Dutroux was born on November 6, 1956 in Brussels in a family of teachers. After the divorce of his parents, he was left with a strict and stingy mother. At the age of 16, Dutroux left home, unable to endure the cruelty of his parent any longer.

At the age of 19 he got married and had two children. Then the young father began to steal cars, rob and sell drugs. He dreamed of getting rich quick. By 1983, Dutroux was the owner of seven properties in and around Charleroi. During the same period, he began an affair with 23-year-old Michelle Martin, an elementary school teacher. For the sake of a new lover, a man abandoned his family and children.

Michel Martin before trial

Photo: Reuters

In 1986, Martin and Dutroux were arrested for kidnapping and raping five girls, the youngest of whom was 11 years old. Dutroux was sentenced to 13.5 years in prison, and Martin to five. The couple got married at 1989, while in prison.

In April 1992, Dutroux was released for good behaviour. Marten was also released, but on the condition that both of them would be under the supervision of a psychiatrist. Subsequently, the sedatives prescribed by the psychiatrist, the man will use to pacify the captives.

On June 24, 1995, Dutroux kidnapped eight-year-old Julie Lejeune and Melissa Rousseau, who died of starvation and lack of water. Marten did not try to help the captives, explaining that she was afraid of her husband. The next victims of Dutroux were 17-year-old En Marshal and 19-year-old Efie Lambres. He drugged them and buried them alive.

At the end of the year, Dutroux came under investigation for his involvement in the theft of several cars. He was in custody from December to March. At this time, the police twice searched his house, in the basement of which there were captives. With the police was a locksmith responsible for opening the doors. He heard screams from the basement and paid attention to it. However, the police decided that the sounds were coming from somewhere outside and did not check the premises. They found Dutroux's child pornography tapes, but didn't even look at them. Because of their negligence, the girls were not saved

After leaving custody, the criminal began to look for a replacement for the dead captives. His choice fell on Sabina and Letizia. Fortunately, they were found in time and saved on August 15, 1996.

Within weeks of the release of Sabina and Letizia, police found the buried bodies of four of Dutroux's victims. Hundreds of child pornography videos were found in the perpetrator's homes.

The bodies of the victims of Marc Dutroux were searched with an excavator

Photo: Reuters

On October 20, 1996, the "White March" took place in Brussels, organized by the parents of Dutroux victims. More than 300 thousand people took part in the procession, they carried white balloons, white roses and white lilies in their hands.

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