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I am very emotional


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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

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English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

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Last Updated: 08/30/2022

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"I'm too emotional" | PSYCHOLOGIES

Question to the ExpertKnow Yourself

I am friendly, outgoing, eloquent. I can win over a person. But too quickly imbued with the mood and emotions of others. If someone feels bad, I take his situation too close to my heart and for a long time I can not let go of his emotions. If someone or I is treated unfairly, such indignation flares up inside, which I cannot contain. I start defending or defending myself. If someone begins to swear in front of me, my heart beats like a rabbit, although this does not concern me, but worrying about others leads to great anxiety. On the other hand, I can easily burst into tears when I see something sweet and touching, when people sincerely talk about feelings and experiences, when they help others. I lack the knowledge to control myself quickly and painlessly enough.

Andrey, 22 years old

In difficult situations of loss, in a state of stress, a person uses various channels. There are only six of them. Knowing and understanding the principles of their work, we can help ourselves or others get out of the crisis. What channels do we have?

  • Feelings and emotions
  • Logic, intelligence
  • Faith and meanings
  • Family, friends, close people
  • Body (physical activity, body care, massage, procedures)
  • Creativity (art therapy or cinema, theater) , hobbies and everything connected with it)

Your leading channel is probably emotional. Knowing about this already makes it possible to work with him both in a positive and negative direction. You describe your pros and cons very well, which shows your capacity for acceptance and emotional empathy. But if a person knows how to empathize and help another in a good way, then he is also emotional in a negative sense. Our world is dual, and everything has a positive and a negative characteristic.

But if we accept our “pluses” with joy, then we are ready to disown our “minuses”. It doesn't happen otherwise. An emotional person rises to the heights of love, but also descends to hate. Our world is under the influence of the wave. What to do in such a situation? Learn to switch attention, perception and reactions.

Ask yourself the question: to what extent is my reflection a plus for me, and what burdens and distracts me? By answering, you decide a lot for yourself. Look at your channels. Which of them are basic, and which can be used additionally.

Photo source: Getty Images

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Causes of strong emotionality. Emotional person

Heightened emotionality, like a barrel of gunpowder - you bring a match and everything explodes. Such emotional outbursts can greatly spoil the life of both a person and others.

It is more difficult for a person with increased emotionality to study, build relationships and a career. Moreover, rest is needed from constant emotional stress. I would like to find a solution.

Accumulation of emotional stress

Everything that happens to a person is stored in the subconscious. Under hypnosis, people easily recall even the smallest and oldest details of their lives. Experienced emotions persist too, over time being forced out into the subconscious is getting deeper.

Most often this question is asked by women: “Why am I so emotional?”. The answer is simple - in people with increased emotionality, the repression of emotions is slower than their accumulation.

Having accumulated emotional tension, a person must find a way to get rid of it. Such emotional intensity is recommended to be removed by physical exercises, shouting into a pillow, meditation or breathing practices.

Emotions over the edge

An emotional person quickly develops irritation and increased activity. If you do not take action, then at some point (point of no return), emotions take over.

Emergency methods for relieving heightened emotionality - breathing, exercises, etc. don't work when emotions are running high. The person is no longer and, quite often, his behavior.

The more emotional a person is, the less chance he has to relieve tension before the explosion. This suggests that it is necessary to solve the situation with increased emotionality in advance, while the person is calm.

Raising the threshold of emotionality

Significantly it is possible to lower the emotionality of a person by freeing the subconscious from old emotions . Children experience emotions very quickly, because they have a huge resource of emotional stress. An adult must work with the subconscious in order to release the resource occupied by the "junk".

The good news is that working to free the subconscious mind from emotions gives quick results. You don't need to meditate in caves for 10 years to become calmer. Using a powerful technique for several months can get rid of heightened emotionality forever.

Working with the past and emotions

A lot of emotional tension is stored in childhood traumas. Many memories carry a negative charge. So, starting to work with the subconscious, you can not only get rid of increased emotionality but also remove the negative charge from the past .

The first two stages of work (about 1. 5-2 months) are aimed at working with the past and emotions. Do not delay until the next explosion, because emergency methods do not work. Start working now and very soon you will not recognize yourself.

(after clicking the book will start downloading automatically).


Many people complain that they cannot "box up" their nerves, restrain themselves in order to maintain balance and not ignite a brewing conflict, get rid of feelings of nervousness and anxiety, or "recover themselves" after an emotional upheaval, stress. There are more than enough circumstances in life that provoke a surge of emotions: exams, job interviews, conclusion of important deals, showdown with superiors or a loved one ... But you never know the things in life that can unbalance us. An unbalanced person can explode and say too much, cry, commit an act that he will later regret - and thereby spoil not only the impression of himself, but also close some opportunities for himself.

There are two ways to overcome emotional crises. First - restrain emotions , not the best, because by suppressing emotions in ourselves, we risk accumulating a critical mass of negativity inside - and a real emotional explosion will occur. Second - learn to control yourself and dominate your emotions. This way is more productive.

Take care of yourself

It is important to understand for yourself how an emotional breakdown manifests itself in you. One person breaks down into aggression, the second suddenly begins to cry, the third is speechless. You should carefully study your own reactions and build the situation in such a way as to protect yourself in the eyes of others. Therefore, when you feel that emotions are starting to get out of control, make sure that the consequences of an emotional outburst do not affect your career, do not ruin your public speaking, do not make you feel ashamed or embarrassed in front of witnesses of your weakness.

Cope with fatigue

Emotional control is weakened when a person is tired. You should not accumulate fatigue, fight it. Allow yourself to relax, change the environment, treat yourself to something pleasant. Camping, partying with trusted friends, or shopping for some nice shopping will help shift your energy to positive things and reduce the risk of an emotional breakdown with negative consequences. Physical work helps a lot, just do not forget that physical work should bring pleasure. During a break or vacation, work on strengthening the nervous system. To do this, you may have to do meditation, yoga, sports exercises. Walks will not interfere, during which you can, for example, collect pebbles or take photographs. Don't forget that creativity heals. Think of forgotten hobbies, read a book that you have long put aside for reading. Sit by the water, get rid of obsessive thoughts, listen to the birds singing or just watch in the aquarium.

Breathe deeply

If you feel stressed out, stop, get comfortable, relax, breathe deeply and slowly, try not to rush. No need to be afraid to be late - remember that your peace of mind is the key to efficiency in any work. Analyze your own emotions: try to understand what exactly unsettles you, what is the trigger for emotions. You should not skimp on the time if you want to dedicate it to "putting things in order" inside. Clear thoughts are a guarantee that emotions will not overwhelm you unexpectedly. Favorite music will help bring emotions and thoughts into a state of harmony. You should not listen to something new in critical situations. Familiar calm music will work well, it will relieve stress and return emotions to their usual course.

Do not be afraid to contact a psychotherapist

If you are becoming less and less able to control your emotions, and the suppression of emotions has a depressing effect on your mood, besides, you are confused and cannot calm down on your own, and “flashes” of adrenaline inside plunge you into a state of melancholy or fright - you should think about a visit to a psychologist, psychotherapist. A professional in his field will help you understand the intricacies of causes and effects, remember forgotten nervous shocks and difficult impressions in order to experience them consciously and part with them. By the way, a reliable friend or girlfriend can play the role of a psychotherapist. You can, of course, rely on your loved one in these matters, but this is fraught with consequences. Close, loving people are impressionable, and if you “load” such a person, relationships can suffer, and feelings of awkwardness and guilt can push you away from the one who involuntarily became a “vest” for you. However, if there is unconditional trust and spiritual intimacy between you and a loved one, then you can even give vent to tears. By crying, you will free your psyche from unnecessary emotions.

“I'm about to explode like three hundred tons of TNT,” V. Vysotsky sang in one of his songs, conveying the feelings of an upset graphomaniac. Probably, the vast majority of people in the world are familiar with such sensations, when the accumulated emotions literally overwhelm the whole body, trying to break out. However, in most cultures, the violent manifestation of feelings is by no means welcomed, and people are forced to keep their experiences to themselves so as not to cause condemnation of others.

Manual

However, it is completely useless to try to hide your feelings in any situation. Strong emotions still require an outlet and sooner or later they will find it, and attempts to suppress their manifestations by willpower will only lead to illness and chronic stress. It is much smarter and more useful for the body to find socially acceptable forms for expressing its experiences.

First of all, as psychologists advise, allow yourself to experience strong emotions, including negative ones. Emotion is just a personal reaction to surrounding events. And if the circumstances or actions of other people make you feel resentment, anger or annoyance, you have a right to such experiences. The question is how to throw out these negative emotions so as not to harm other people and to come to peace of mind yourself.

The easiest and most affordable way to quickly reduce emotional intensity is increased physical activity. If you feel like you are literally being torn apart by emotions, want to scream at the top of your voice and destroy furniture, find an opportunity to give immediate exercise to your body. To do this, it is not necessary to immediately run to the gym, if there is no such possibility. Fast walking down the street, intense climbing and descending stairs, even just a series of active squats will play a positive role.

As soon as you feel that the most intense peak of emotions has passed and the body is tired, move on to breathing exercises. The human nervous system is closely connected with the respiratory and cardiovascular systems. Therefore, a purposeful series of deep, even inhalations and exhalations will help to normalize frustrated nerves. It is most convenient to regulate breathing with the help of a count: inhale for 3-4 counts, exhale for 6-8 counts. After a few full breaths, you will feel that your mind has cleared and your emotions are back under control.

The described method is well suited for a one-time release of emotions resulting from some short-term unpleasant situation. But negative emotions can accumulate for a long time under the influence of chronic stress. For example, tensions in the family, protracted problems at work, conflicts or an urgent deadline. In this case, exercise alone is not enough.

Tears help some women in difficult situations. After crying for a few minutes, they begin to feel much better and calmer, since tears are a natural physiological mechanism that helps to cope with stressful situations and relieve excessive pressure. However, do not forget that tears are not always appropriate. For example, throwing a temper tantrum in response to the criticism and nagging of the boss is not the best way to maintain your professional reputation. In this case, it is much more useful to try to sort out an unpleasant situation consciously. Talk to the manager about existing problems or with opponents in the conflict. If there is not enough independent effort, it is better to turn to an experienced psychologist who will help you sort out your feelings and suggest the best solution.

Video on the topic

Useful advice

Try to never throw out your negative emotions on loved ones, even if they are the cause. In the end, you will cope with your feelings, but the emotional trauma inflicted on loved ones will remain and it will not be very easy to heal them.

Sources:

  • how to throw out the negative

Scientists have proven that negative emotions have a bad effect on the body as a whole. So happiness is good for health. What emotions experienced by a person have a bad effect on his health?

First, it is greed. This feeling is known to lead to eating disorders. The desire to appropriate all earthly blessings in a direct way leads to constipation.

The second emotion that harms health is envy. Worrying about someone else's good, the inability to be happy if others feel good is a big stress for the body, which can lead to a heart attack. Other people's victories are best used as a platform for their achievements.

Jealousy not only destroys love, but weakens the production of sex hormones, which increases the risk for a man to become impotent, and for a woman to remain infertile.

Another harmful feeling is this self-pity. If you constantly revel in this experience, then the production of the hormone acetylcholine increases in the body, and this can affect the liver. There are other harmful consequences of such an emotion - sugar drops in the human body, digestion is disturbed.

The other extreme is the feeling of guilt. If a person constantly feels guilty about something or simply blames himself for nothing, then immunity is undermined in his body, hence colds, infections, stomach ulcers and even oncology. You need to forgive yourself for your sins and mistakes. Health is more precious than anything in the world.

And the pancreas and respiratory organs suffer from despondency and melancholy. The lungs are also sick from constant introspection and doubt - these feelings increase the risk of asthma.

In addition to envy, the heart and blood vessels can also suffer from anger, rage, and passivity at the moment when everything inside demands a change in the state of affairs. Excessive anxiety, causeless anxiety can develop "nervous" hypertension. Fear also raises the pressure.

60% of all illnesses are the result of harmful emotions and experiences. All of them shorten our lives. Forgiveness, kindness, love, joy prevent inflammatory processes, improve blood composition, improve important processes inside: the work of the brain, heart and other organs. Positive thoughts help restore and preserve health.

Many people think that the body is badly affected by such an emotion as anger. In fact, anger is not as bad as suppressing it.

A study was conducted which found that couples who constantly suppress their emotions and control their anger are more likely to live less than those who unleash their emotions as they arise.

Many people think that the problem is the manifestation of anger. But it should be noted that there is no problem that sometimes you want to yell at your loved one for not taking away dirty socks around the apartment or forgot to pay utility bills. It has been proven that it is not dangerous that anger manifests itself, but attempts to suppress it until the moment when a person can no longer cope with his emotions.

Many have been taught since childhood not to show their emotions unnecessarily so as not to cause discomfort to others. But constant suppression of your emotions, overwork at work and stress due to constant workloads can lead to emotional exhaustion and inability to control yourself. Research findings confirm that persistent suppression of anger due to a situation that recurs periodically can lead to high blood pressure and heart palpitations, even just thinking about the event itself.

Anger often arises from fear or discomfort in a particular situation. Anger is not the original emotion, it is only a consequence of other emotions. Thus, the body, for safety reasons, translates emotions in order to protect itself.

In order for anger not to take possession of a person, one must stop. If a conflict situation arises and anger begins to take over the body, you need to postpone the conversation for a while (at least for 15 minutes). This will help put your thoughts in order and better control the situation. If the reason for the anger is constant (bad work, constant contact with unpleasant people), it is worth giving yourself a few vacation days and thinking about whether a change of job or environment might be the best option.

Our emotional background can change several times a day. It depends on various factors, which include:

Communication;

Thought process;

Relations with colleagues and family;

State of health.

Susceptibility to negative emotions depends on the nature of the person. Someone does not perceive the negative, and someone passes it through themselves, worsening their well-being. One way or another, all people are exposed to harmful emotions, so that the negative does not accumulate inside, you must follow certain rules.

Focus less on the bad

It's hard not to remember the joke about the glass half full and half empty. This container was half full, the pessimist said the glass was half empty, and the optimist said it was half full. It all depends on how we perceive the situation.

Take a break from unnecessary information

Starting in the morning, we are literally “poured” with streams of unnecessary information that clog our consciousness and lead to overwork. Try to be more silent.

Take time to relax

Be sure to take some time for yourself. If the day was difficult and the soul is sad, then you can meditate, pray, sleep or read.

Each person is inscribed in the strict system of this world, changing it and changing himself. Emotions become a reaction to external influences, which prompt response actions. They are diverse, so the study of the emotional world of a person is one of the most interesting topics. And if you are interested in this aspect of a particular person, then you can discover almost all the reasons for his actions, and even predict actions.

Emotional world of a person

All people are different: someone is touched to tears at the sight of a fluffy kitten, and someone without visible effort holds a stone mask, looking through the bloody details from the crime scenes. This does not mean that one person is good and the other is bad. They just have different temperaments, circumstances and ways of perceiving the world around them. And each of the styles of behavior has its own advantages and disadvantages.

Pros and cons of being an emotional person

A developed emotional sphere reveals a number of positive aspects to a person:

  • bright and rich impressions;
  • flair of attraction due to the openness of reactions;
  • the desire to constantly discover something new, which ensures saturation with interesting events;
  • a rarity of emotional tension, because after any event a person quickly discharges.

The downside is a vivid reaction to all events, sometimes even excessive, which in some situations can become a hindrance.

Pros and cons of a restrained person

A person who is used to keeping his emotions in check also has reasons for joy:

  • he is able to think soberly in difficult situations;
  • his life is not characterized by sharp ups and downs, preference is given to stability.

The downside is the inability to get rid of one's emotions or channel them into another channel. Therefore, such a person may suffer from emotional tension caused by the constant accumulation and replay of experiences. And this leads to burnout and depression, which can be very difficult to resolve on your own.

Emotional reaction in extreme conditions

If we talk about the emotional reaction of a person in extreme conditions, then it is impossible to predict which type will succeed better in stabilizing the situation.

According to studies, only 25% in extreme conditions are able to act in accordance with the situation.

Emotionality is the ability of a person to reflect the content of experiences, mood, character. Emotionality can and should be considered as a response to the surrounding world by the manifestation of emotions and their influence on human behavior. Emotionality is inherent in people, because by showing emotions, we get to know life, paint it with different colors, even if not the most pleasant shades.

The word "emotion" comes from the Latin "emovere" - to put forward, to excite, to shake. Emotion is a process that is equally psychological and biochemical, arising as a reaction in response to events occurring with a person. do not depend on the objects they are aimed at. The same emotion can be expressed at different times for different reasons and to completely different people and situations, which cannot be said about feelings. Feelings are more complex and always have an addressee. From the point of view of evolution, emotionality is a more ancient form of manifestation of a person's attitude to the world around him, therefore emotions are inherent in both animals and humans. Feelings are the prerogative of man.

How to develop emotionality

Emotion is a reaction to what is happening, which can be called “here and now”. Emotions appear at a particular moment and reflect the attitude of the manifesting experience to what is happening. Feelings, on the contrary, have a relative stability and constancy and always have an address - the object to which they are directed. Psychologists identify emotions that are called basic or innate. They are named so because they are inherent in all healthy people and manifest themselves in the same way on all continents and in different nationalities. Basic emotions are emotions that are common to all. To date, seven basic ones have been identified: joy (happiness, contentment), (, rage), sadness (sadness), interest, disgust and surprise.

The ability to express the strength and energy of one's emotions characterizes emotionality as a personality trait. Many psychologists consider emotionality as one of the main components. Emotionality is characterized by a lightning-fast change of emotions, which, moreover, manifest themselves vividly. Emotionality is inside, passions are seething there, the speed of the movements of experiences, but the splash outward is barely noticeable, insignificant. more slow and balanced, emotions are not so violent. Emotionality is in full balance, the birth and manifestation of experiences are not bright.

I think everyone knows the expressions “nothing to penetrate”, “thick-skinned like an elephant”, “cold” and the like. All these expressions speak of a low level of emotional response. Emotion can be developed.

In order to successfully develop emotionality, it is necessary to get acquainted with emotions and feelings, identify for yourself those that a person experiences most often, and also observe the behavior and manifestation of emotions, both in oneself and in other people.

Next, it is important to answer the question “what can I change in my behavior?” Emotionality is openness to the world. Psychologists advise to communicate more, because uncommunicative people, as a rule, are closed people. It is necessary to try to show emotions with gestures, words, talk about feelings, become more open, smile more often. This facilitates communication and understanding.

It has been noticed that the absence of an external manifestation of emotionality does not always indicate the absence of emotions themselves. There are cases when, due to the inability to express their feelings (not appropriate, not on time, not brought up, etc.), a person restrains them or, in other words, suppresses them, there is an internal accumulation of emotional stress.

Periodic suppression of one's own experiences negatively affects a person's health, both physical and mental. Unexpressed emotions threaten an explosion of feelings, which can result in hysteria or in and, undoubtedly, manifest itself in the body as an increase in pressure due to a rush of blood to the brain, in the limbs, and will also affect the respiratory apparatus.

Emotionality without discharge is like a dormant volcano, ready to erupt at any moment, and one can only guess what will be the starting point. At any moment, the effect of the last drop will definitely occur and no one knows what the consequences will be. Is it worth bringing this up? The danger of an explosion is associated not only with the suppression of emotions, but also with the increased emotionality of a person.

High emotionality is characterized by the rapid onset of irritation and increased response. If you ignore the accumulation of emotions, then there will come a point of no return, and under such conditions they will take over.

High emotionality of a person has its pros and cons. We can assume that this statement is very relative, because how many people, so many opinions. Let's figure it out. The advantage is that, when manifested, emotions splash out, are not suppressed, are not repressed, are not pushed deeper, but are issued into the world. However, high emotionality is mostly destructive. Perhaps you are familiar with the situation when, having lost control over themselves, people allow themselves too much in relation to other people (raising their voice, insulting, knocking on the door, etc.). What a residue of embarrassment and worries about this often remains on both sides of the situation. High emotionality negatively affects relationships and also negatively affects the person himself, driving him into a feeling of guilt, forcing him to justify himself and others, accumulating resentment.

How to deal with over emotionality

Recognize that over emotionality is your character trait. Do a self-analysis. Determine for yourself the level of your emotionality, how quick-tempered and intolerant you are. You can take tests to determine your temperament and emotionality.

Keep an emotional diary where you describe your day and your experiences. And it’s better to write down immediately after an emotional outburst what you felt, how you experienced it, how your body reacted, where you responded and how the emotions subsided. After reading what you have written, evaluate your attitude towards it. Which of your reactions was justified. What feelings are you experiencing now?

Get to know your triggers - situations that trigger your body to activate all systems again and again and give out an emotional reaction, invigorate your emotionality. Perhaps much earlier in your head formed a pattern of behavior in response to a stressful situation. And, perhaps, you constantly repeat this pattern of behavior. At this point, ask yourself, “How exactly do I feel right now? When did I show such emotions? What is the trigger? You can also do this with a diary of experiences. You can change your behavior and your emotionality. Do not hurry. Getting to know yourself, your emotionality and the emotions you show is not an easy job. Do not force yourself to do everything at once, too hasty actions lead to resistance. Personal growth is always a way out of the comfort zone, and such a way out is not easy and requires mental, emotional and physical costs. But do not be discouraged, “eating an elephant” is completely difficult, but in parts it is very possible. If you find it difficult to gather strength and meet your emotionality, set simpler goals for yourself, more achievable.

Get to know the concept of personalization, recognize it and fight it. This is a concept that can cause increased emotionality. It may mean that you feel responsible for things that may not have anything to do with you personally or that you have no control over.

Fight the obligation. Claiming that you owe someone something harms and forces you to adhere to standards that may be exaggerated. Violating the next “should”, you may well experience despair, guilt, anger. You can avoid situations like this by learning what exactly is under this "should" and only then decide if it really is. As a result, you will not experience negative emotions. And the words “must” and “should”, if necessary, can be replaced with the word “I want” and things will go much easier.

Act only after you have calmed down. Your emotionality is sometimes not the best adviser, and acting under the influence of emotions can lead to consequences that you may deeply regret in the future. Try to calm down before reacting to a situation that caused a strong emotional reaction.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Correcting your emotionality, working on increased emotionality, you should not become completely unemotional, we have already talked about the dangers of suppressing emotional outbursts. It is necessary to get to know and understand emotions, to realize also that negative emotional outbursts are just as necessary as positive ones, and try to keep their balance.

In the middle of the last century, scientists started talking about the concept of emotional intelligence. The concept was introduced when it was noticed that a high level did not always contribute to a person's success in a career and personal life. According to scientists, emotional intelligence, unlike intelligence, is the ability to correctly interpret the emotionality, feelings and behavior of other people, intuitively grasp what the other person needs, and also have a high. The whole theory is based on the assumption that a person is able to accurately determine the emotions of another person, and also on the fact that emotionality can be learned to manage. Not only the face, but also the body is able to convey emotions, and if you observe these manifestations and learn to notice them, you can read all the emotions of another person like an open book.

But observation is enough? If your emotionality is high, behind your own raging emotionality you will not see someone else's. With low emotionality, you are not able to see changes in the emotional state of another person. If your emotions are stereotyped, you will never notice the subtleties of mood and the coloring of the emotionality of another person. In others, you will feel and see only those emotions that you yourself are capable of. Your brain will give you the response that was once most effective. It is necessary to learn to distinguish between tones and semitones of emotional outbursts. And if your brain is able to scream and cry with joy, laugh and frown, smile quietly, talk about your happiness or go inside, then your brain will be able to adjust your emotions to any situation. Your range of expression and perception of emotions will expand, and your own emotionality will be balanced.

Learn emotions, new words to describe emotional outbursts. Not just “happy”, but “immensely happy”, “quietly happy”, “satisfied and happy”, “happy”. Try on emotions on yourself in front of a mirror. Emotional growth, like physical growth, takes time and is not always pleasant. And be patient.

Man has in his arsenal many qualities that favorably distinguish him from representatives of the animal world. One of these properties is emotionality. This is the ability to reflect the content of mood, feelings, character. Not all people are emotionally the same. Some share their mood too generously with the world, without hiding anything. Is it good, is it easy for such people to live? Others seem closed, cold, emotionless. Coldness is also not liked by society, it is equated with closeness. And unemotional people are shunned. In this article we will talk about emotionality, its varieties, how to develop it for those who lack it.

Release your emotions

You must have heard the following phrase: "Give vent to your emotions!" This is not an accidental expression, it is firmly fixed in our language. We are not passive chips in the river of life, but are constantly washed by its waves, sometimes voluntarily or involuntarily participating in real storms. Every day we experience a lot of emotions, and the mood changes from major to completely minor. In order not to go crazy from all these experiences, a person has the opportunity to share them with the world - this is his emotionality. This begs the question: why aren't all people equally emotional? Let's try to figure it out below.

What prevents the release of emotions

They even behave naturally and do not hesitate to show what they feel. Agree that no kid will hold back tears when it hurts, or laughter when it's fun. It follows that we begin to close ourselves with awareness of ourselves as individuals, that is, with age. Most often it is a response to life circumstances. The child is not shy about expressing his emotions until he is shamed by a parent or caregiver: "Don't laugh so loudly, it's indecent!" Or: "Yes, why did you dismiss the nurses, well, just like a girl!" A few of these remarks from a person who is considered authoritative really affect emotionality. The child begins to behave more restrained and understands that calm behavior does not cause any complaints from adults. "You go quieter - you will continue," and the baby gets used to hiding his mood from the world.

Coldness as a result of insults in the past

Sometimes emotionality (expressiveness, in other words) can be hidden for another reason. For example, a harsh reaction to openness will cause a desire to no longer show emotions. Imagine a young man who has stepped over his shyness and passionately confesses his love to a girl. Instead of acceptance and reciprocity, he is rejected by a beautiful lady, and is also ridiculed. Will he have a desire to be sincere in the future? Most likely, he will put on a mask of a cynic and act coldly with the opposite sex once and for all. We have all experienced the negative reaction of a particular person or society to openness, and this always leads to the same result. We become more restrained, we understand when it is appropriate to be natural and open, and when it is worth portraying a "poker face", even if we want to scream.

Man is not passive, and his reactions to the world are not something stable. Therefore, hiding your emotions is more of a defensive reaction than a distinctive character trait.

Unemotionality as a mask

People should not be divided into "emotional" and "unemotional". It must be accepted as a fact that ardor and openness can be hidden behind the mask of a cold person, but it is precisely because of these traits that the personality may once have suffered. Is there any way to remove this mask?

It is difficult to forcefully influence a person's temperament and emotionality. A person should have his own desire to become more open to the world, not be afraid to show his emotions and experiences. After that, expressiveness is just a matter of time.

Developing emotionality

High emotionality still has more advantages than low emotionality. It is for this reason that if you feel that you are not temperamental enough, you can develop this quality in yourself. Below we will give three really effective and simple ways to develop such an important quality as emotionality. Levels of passionarity, of course, are different, and from quiet you will not turn overnight into the soul of the company. But to become more open and more emotional will turn out quickly enough if you train and do not neglect simple exercises.

Useful exercises for developing openness


Is excessive expression of emotions useful?

Heightened emotionality is the other side of excessiveness in the issue of the manifestation of feelings and the degree of openness. Surely you know such people - a shirt-guy in a team, a person on the board who has no secrets and secrets from anyone. Is it good to be like that, or is such a temperament more of a disadvantage?

First of all, let's talk about the advantage that a person has, whose character trait is great emotionality. This is the presence of an extensive circle of acquaintances, the ease of meeting new people, the ability not to be bored alone. At first glance, it may seem that it is indeed better to be an open person than emotionally limited.

But there are also disadvantages in the life of such people. As a result of this openness, the public knows literally everything about the life of this person. High emotionality is exactly the factor that leaves no room for secrets. In addition, such a person can be considered mentally unstable, because he will not hide his joy or bad mood.

How to become more calm?

Great emotionality can bring no less difficulties to a person than coldness and aloofness. There are no exercises to become less passionate, ordinary common sense will help you here.

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