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I am so incredibly lonely


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The therapist explained how to overcome loneliness

The topic of loneliness is one that is probably familiar to all of us. Loneliness is the feeling that accompanies us in our development. This is part of the journey of finding yourself. And it leads to the fact that we begin to value relationships more.

Experience of loneliness

Loneliness is experienced very painfully. This is the kind of feeling we want to run away from, and we do it by being distracted by something. We are helped by watching TV shows and movies, computer, mobile phone, travel, alcohol, work. All this helps to get rid of the unpleasant feeling. Because in loneliness we experience that we again find ourselves thrown back to ourselves. In loneliness, I am only with myself. I'm thrown. There is no one around. I don't have a relationship, I don't have anyone I can talk to. Loneliness is the experience of experiencing the absence of a relationship. This feeling can be especially acute in longing for something. If you love someone, you yearn for separation from him. I miss my loved one, I feel connected to him, but I cannot see him. My heart is next to him, and without him or without her, my heart is lost to a certain extent.

A similar feeling can be experienced with nostalgia, when we yearn for our native places. I experienced a very strong longing for my native places when, as a child of 11-12 years old, I was in a boarding school. It was warm and pleasant at home, I had relationships there, I had friends there, and I was at a boarding school far from home. I haven't been home for a whole month. I felt like I was in a foreign world. The world was cold and I felt lost. All this time I thought about what was happening at home, what my relatives were doing: now they got up, now they are having dinner, now the family has gathered at the table. And I was constantly in pain because I was separated from that part of life where I usually experienced warmth, where I had the feeling that I was part of this world. I felt incredibly alone.

We may feel lonely at work if we are confronted with some demands, if there are some projects that we have not yet grown up to. Where we feel insecure about them, and if no one supports us at the same time. Then we feel alone. If I know that everything depends on me alone, there may be a fear that will accompany loneliness. It's the fear that I'll be weak, that I'll feel guilty about not being able to do it.

It's even worse if bullying occurs at work. Then I will feel that I am given to it at the mercy of, I am on the edge of society and I am no longer a part of it.

Loneliness is a very big topic in old age, in old age. And in childhood. Children who are not met, children who are left alone if the parents are busy doing something else, may feel helpless in their loneliness. Loneliness traumatizes children, because in solitude they are not able to develop their Self. They stop in development. There is a curvature in the development of the child if he experiences long moments of loneliness. On the other hand, it is not so bad if the child spends a couple of hours alone, because for him this is an impetus for development. Just what is reality.

In old age, loneliness is no longer a traumatic factor and does not hinder development - but it is burdensome. It can cause depression, paranoid feelings, sleep disturbances, psychosomatic complaints, and pseudodementia. It happens that pseudo-dementia is the silence of a person from loneliness. He used to have a family, he worked for decades, was among people, and now he sits at home alone. One of my patients at the age of 85 was sitting at home alone. Being her doctor, so that she would not be completely alone, I bought her a canary. She has a living being. This canary helped her live a couple of years longer. She talked to her every day.

For most older people, television is their "comfort". But TV is a communication directed only in one direction. And yet man at least hears human voices. And in any case, he can say something to himself, even if no one will hear. I think this is not a bad form of overcoming loneliness, creating a kind of bridge, because it takes the edge off loneliness. But, of course, this is an ersatz, a replacement. In old age, loneliness can be very overwhelming. Especially if he has lost the ability to see or hear. Can I imagine that I have to live in this state for a couple of years? When the only thing that will accompany me is back pain or indigestion. We can imagine how helpless we are in such situations. And here the question of the value of life really arises.

Do I know loneliness? If we ask ourselves: when was the last time I felt lonely? Is loneliness somehow present in my life? Maybe it is hidden behind some businesslike everyday life? If I'm being honest, I can probably find it. Or I may find that there were times when I was alone. Maybe I haven't known this feeling for a long time? Maybe it's foreign to me? Or another pole: maybe I really suffer acutely from loneliness? And it overwhelms me so much that all the joy in relation to life simply disappeared, that the question arises about the meaning of life.

Loneliness among people

I can experience loneliness not only if I do not have relationships with people. I can feel lonely during some holiday, at a party, even at my own birthday, at school, at work, in my family. Sometimes people are nearby, but something is missing. There is no meeting, there is not enough intimacy, there is no exchange with another person. We have superficial conversations, and I have a need to talk to a person for real. We talk about skiing, about cars, but we don't talk about me and you.

In many families, it is only about some business, who and what should buy, who should cook food, but our relationships, what worries us, are silent. Then I feel alone and in the family.

If no one in the family sees me, especially if it is a child, then I am lonely. Even worse - I am abandoned, because there are people around, but they are not interested in me, they do not look into my eyes. They only look at whether I do well in school and that I don't do anything bad. And that's how I'm raised. I grow up alone.

The same happens in partnerships: we have been together for 20 years, but at the same time we feel lonely. The sexual relationship is functioning, but am I in the relationship? Is the other talking about me - or only about yourself? Or just to satisfy some needs? If we don't take the time to talk to each other, as we did when we were in love, then we become lonely even in good relationships.

There are periods in every relationship when it feels lonely as the relationship develops more on a curve with ups and downs. We cannot be constantly ready to communicate with another, be constantly open to another person. We are immersed in ourselves, busy with our problems, feelings, and we have no time for another. But it can happen just when he needs it the most. At this moment, I am not for another, and the other feels alone, maybe even abandoned in trouble. Such situations occur in any relationship. But it doesn't harm the relationship if we can then talk about our different states. And then we find each other again. But sometimes these moments remain wounds that we receive in the course of our lives.

We can experience loneliness not only when we are not in a relationship, but even when we are surrounded by people. And at the same time, we can not feel lonely when no one is around.

To understand loneliness, let's try to look at a person more deeply. Then we can understand why loneliness manifests itself in so many different ways.

Causes of loneliness

A person is a creature that, as it were, was placed into the world. The main idea of ​​existential philosophy says that it is impossible to be human without being related to the world. To be human means fundamentally to be in the world, to be in connection with something or someone else. Without connection with otherness, it is impossible to be human.

It was in this way that Heidegger defined "being here" (existence). Heidegger often used the word Dasein instead of Person to show that I cannot be if I am not connected with You or It. To be here is to be in the world. In the world of my family, in the world of my city, in the world of my ideas and ideas. That is to say, being human is a fundamental correlation. If something does not function in this relation, then we lack something and may feel lonely.

But this connection is twofold. Martin Buber spoke about the relationship "I-Thou" and "I-It": I relate to another person, the same as me - and this is a personal relationship, or I relate to some thing, with some business ( e.g. "I'm driving a car"). That is, relationships have an outer pole, but they also have an inner pole. I also need to manage with myself, I need not just to BE in this world, but I must also be I. We have a correlation outside and a correlation with ourselves. This thought can help to understand three reasons why loneliness occurs.

First of all, loneliness is a disturbance, a breakdown in relationships. In loneliness, we worry that relationships either do not exist, or they develop incorrectly. Relations with a person mean: I am connected with this person with my feelings, I would like to experience a person in my feeling. I would like to be able to feel what drives him and what he feels.

Let's think about the relationship with your child. I would like to feel how a child experiences and lives his life. I would like to participate in this, I would like to be close to him - because through closeness I have a feeling about my child and his life.

Relationships are more than relatedness in terms of feelings. Relationships always have a beginning, but relationships never end. Relationships are forever. And it can be assumed that since I always remain connected with the person with whom I have or had a relationship, I can never be alone. All the relationships that I had with other people have been preserved in me. If I meet my ex-girlfriend after 20 years on the street, then my heart starts to beat faster - because something was, and it still continues to be in me. Everything that happens in a relationship is preserved. And I can live on that. If I experienced something good with some person, then this is a source for happiness in my later life. I can think of my mother, father, with whom I had a good relationship - and feel a warm feeling.

However, if the relationship is bad, then I don't want to remember them, I don't want to go back to the past. Then I wish it wasn't true. Then I lose contact with it. Relationships seem to be there, but they hurt me - and I turn away. And if I turn away, then the relationship in this moment no longer lives. Therefore, it may be that I will feel lonely, although I have or have had a relationship.

There is another reason why relationships can cause feelings of loneliness. What we have described so far is the outer pole of the relationship. But there is a relationship directed inward, a relationship with oneself. If I don't feel myself, if I don't have feelings, if they are muffled, then I am alone with myself. If I do not feel my body, my breath, my mood, my well-being, my fatigue, my joy, my pain - if I do not feel all this, then I am not in a relationship with myself. Then I miss a fundamental, basic part of life.

This can happen if I have had an experience that hurts - then I don't want to turn to myself. If I was offended, disappointed, deceived, if I was ridiculed, then I feel pain if I turn to myself. And this is a natural human reflex - to turn away from what causes pain and suffering. We have described it in terms of external relations, but also in internal relations I can withdraw from myself. And then I no longer feel myself, I am no longer in a relationship with myself. It can take me so far that I won't feel my body. I will feel my feelings to such a small extent that I will have psychosomatic disorders. They always indicate that you do not feel something very important. This is a signal: you should not continue to live like this, feel what hurts you so that you can process it. So that you can mourn, so that you can forgive - otherwise you will not be free. Migraine, stomach ulcers, asthma and other disorders tell me: do not continue like this. There is something very important that you must do first.

If I lose my relationship with myself, I can no longer feel myself. Or even worse, I can't have a relationship with you either.

I cannot truly experience a relationship with another if I am not capable of resonance, if there is no movement in me, because the feelings are too wounded. Or because I never really had them. If my mother never took me in her arms, if my father didn't have time for me, if I didn't have real friends, then I have a "blunted" world of feelings - a world that could not develop. Then my feelings are poor, and then I am always alone. Because I don't feel very well (or don't feel at all). Therefore, in relation to the other person, my feelings are also flat. This is the second level of relationship that leads to loneliness.

But there is also a third level, which is above the relationship level and which is also causally related to loneliness. This is the meeting level. This level is connected with the fact that I am I in a relationship. If in a relationship we can experience being together and feel the closeness of another person, then thanks to the I, another aspect is introduced that “explodes” this pleasant being together: for all our connectedness and mutual striving to meet, we realize that I am I, You are You, but I am not You. That difference, which is irremovable. It is eliminated, for example, in a symbiotic relationship, when I myself dissolve into you. But if I am I, then there is a boundary between us. Then I worry that, in principle, I am responsible only for myself, I am left alone with myself.

There is no second Alfried Lenglet in this world. Each of us is unique and unique. The way I am is unique nowhere else. And this is the basis that can potentially make us lonely in this world.

Healing from loneliness

What can help here? The other person has the same feelings, he feels the same way. If it is You who turns to me, it will help me accept loneliness. If other people look at me, in my direction, then by doing so they will let me know: "I see you. You are here." And I really am here, and not only with my feelings - I am here as a Person.

If, for example, another person is listening to me, they are directed towards me. It is not only about the fact that there is some kind of movement of feelings, but that someone is trying to understand me. And he tells me that he understands what he thinks about this. If other people are interested in what I am doing, then I see that I have done this action, and this attracts the attention of another person. That is, not only I see it, others see it too. And then it becomes reality. If others look at me that way, then they respect boundaries and differences. If I feel seen, it means that I was treated with respect.

If other people take the next step and take me seriously, leave me my own: "Yes, you baked this cake, not me," then they treat me fairly. If they listen to my comments, if they say, "What you said is important. Can you explain it further?" then these people treat me fairly. This is an even higher level than just being seen. Being seen means that I have respect for the border, I do not step on you, I do not go around you. The pinnacle of all this is the recognition of my worth. If the other says "I like it"; "I think it's important," then I get a value judgment from the other. And thus my own value takes root. I can get some criticism, but it gives me a certain edge as a Person. If others come to me, tune in to me - I'm not alone.

If all this happens when I am a child, then I can build my Self. The development of the Self is connected with meeting other people. Parents are the people who see me, who take me seriously and tell me that they appreciate me. And then the child can begin to do the same with himself.

We need to learn this. We can learn it from others, but we cannot develop it in ourselves without You. That is why Martin Buber said that I becomes I next to You. The self acquires the ability to treat itself - and then treat others in the same way. The person who survives the meeting develops abilities through which he can meet others.

We have Person - this is the source. This source itself begins to speak in us, but for this the Self must be heard. This I needs You, who will listen to him. By meeting with the other, I can go to myself. And in doing so, I have the basic experience of being a Person. I am self-confident, I have an inner life, the Person inside me speaks to my I, and through the I speaks to You and thus expresses itself. If I live out of this alignment, then I am authentic, then I really am I. And then I am no longer alone.

Read the full text on the website thezis.ru

anonymous secrets, revelations and life stories - Best of the year - Overheard

#177837

October 24, 2022 at 17:00

birthday was 2 weeks ago - 2 weeks ago years. For me, it was my first birthday without a family, because I had no one left: no grandparents, no dad and mom. The consolation is that I have always been a very sociable person, so I had many friends. To drive away bad thoughts, I decided to gather 15 people. I created a group, painted everything for everyone: date, time, address. I received confirmation from everyone that they would come. Began to prepare. Products, alcohol, jewelry - everything came out for a very tidy sum. The day before the holiday, I again asked everyone if they would come. No one's plans have changed, everyone is waiting. On my birthday, cleaning and cooking in the morning. And now the evening, I'm waiting for guests, but there is no one. Silence in the chat. They don't answer the phone. An hour passed, another hour passed. Nobody. Silence everywhere. Then in the stories I saw how all these 15 people come off in a club at the birthday party of a former classmate-major, whom I do not like. After another message in the chat, everyone just left it. I think there is no point in talking about how sad I was. If you have ever had a picture of someone sitting alone at a table with a bunch of food and lonely blowing out candles on a cake, then this is about me. Pain and resentment are still eating from the inside. The decision to revise the circle of their communication is thought out and approved.

Loneliness

#171743

June 14, 2022 at 11:40 pm

I am an orphan. My mother died when I was five years old, I almost don't remember her, only the funeral; and what she called me when she died. Three years later, my father left me and my brother. We were brought up by my aunt - my mother's sister - a strict and domineering woman. Now I am an adult myself, but I still can’t cope with this grief. If your parents don't need you, then nobody needs you. And how I envy people who have a mother ... Who have a person who loves them no matter what. I will never experience this.

Loneliness

#174953

August 23, 2022 at 11:40 am

I am 22 years old and have been in a wheelchair since last year. Got hit by a car that went over a red light. Parents directly say that I am a parasite and a freeloader, a dead weight on the family's neck. These words break my heart. I have barely come to terms with the fact that all my aspirations and zeal have been washed down the toilet, and I will never again be able to do what I loved and what I lived. I try to earn money remotely, but you won’t earn much from it, even with the allowance, it’s barely enough to survive, mainly because of the drugs. They don’t want to see me, they sent me to an old odnushka, which is not only not provided for my needs, but also needs urgent repairs, since before it was handed over to everyone who could. It is very, very scary to become unnecessary for your parents, to be exiled to a viper, to survive on a penny and be completely alone 24/7, especially when far from the brightest thoughts visit you.

Loneliness

#170373

16 May 2022 at 15:00

I have been drawn to writing since childhood. At the age of six, of course, these were illiterate, but lovely handwritten notes in pencil about the cat Murysya and the hare Katya. Then she wrote the best essays and presentations at school, literature is her favorite subject, always fives. At the age of 10 she mastered the computer, began to write again illiterately, but nicely. And always, always my mother was the main support, she admired even these children's stories, she said that I was talented. Then, of course, I matured, interest in writing only intensified, the works became deeper and more logical day by day. Of course, my mother read them too, and could already criticize, but in moderation. Two years ago my mother passed away. A few years before her death, she was only 50 years old. Now I am 25 years old, I actively publish, I do everything to make my hobby a profession. I didn’t stop writing, which I’m extremely happy about, but... Every time I finish a work, I catch myself thinking: “What would my mother say? What would she like and what not?” It is very difficult to realize that friends, strangers can read, someone will praise. But I will never hear the opinion of my mother, it is she who will never read new works again ... I am an adult and married woman, but a mother is needed at any age.

Loneliness

#172983

July 11, 2022 at 20:00

You are exactly as alone as you want to be. Now there are an incredible number of opportunities for communication - chats, applications, dating sites, a lot of everything on the Internet, and in real life - sections, sports clubs, events - and anywhere. My friend's grandfather moved a year ago from Murmansk to St. Petersburg and already knows and is friends with almost the entire region. Every day of the week he is full of plans - he goes to visit, then walks with a neighbor, then to the chess club. Everything is in your hands)

Loneliness

#163396

December 14, 2021 at 19:20

Since childhood, everything somehow went wrong for me. Parents swore, mom drank too much, dad walked. Time passed, nothing changed. Father was less and less at home, went on "business trips". When I was little, I was looking for my mother in the area. Drunk and dirty, she dragged her home, cooked her food as best she could. More time passes. My father no longer lives with us. My mother has a squirrel, I am constantly covered in blood because she did not recognize me, beat me. Mom commits suicide. Dad is dying. I am 20 years old and single.

Loneliness

#163038

December 6, 2021 at 11:40 pm

I am eleven years old. I sit in the camp, I watch how girls flirt with guys, someone is just learning to kiss. I think: "Nothing, in a couple of years I will be like that. " I am thirteen. They put braces. I think: "I see, it's all about them, so no one likes me." I am 18 years old, I increase my lips. I'm 19 years old and I'm doing a nose job. I'm 20 and I'm growing my hair down to my waist. Everything that you can do with yourself, I do: manicure, pedicure, beautician. Years pass, but nothing changes, that "someday" seems just a mockery.

Loneliness

#163340

December 13, 2021 at 16:20

Quite consciously came to the conclusion that I am satisfied with my loneliness. No one drinks from my mug, the huge bed belongs to me, you can wrap yourself in a double blanket like a caterpillar without disturbing anyone. You cook for yourself, you clean, you clean for yourself. There are no worries and sleepless nights in style: where is he, how is he now and other things. Everything is very quiet and calm. And when I realized this, I became very lonely.

Loneliness

#163405

December 14, 2021 at 10:20 pm

When I feel really bad, I go to the perfume shop and splash my mother's favorite perfume on me. It gets easier. And you can again go into battle, and into burning huts, and catch horses at a gallop. I really miss her.

Loneliness

#169743

May 2, 2022 at 20:00

I get incredibly great pleasure from food. Steak turns me on. I can order rolls and, washing them down with beer, lying on the bed, moan with pleasure. Food is a great pleasure, a source of happiness, a joy of life. I'm alone.

Loneliness

#165872

February 7, 2022 at 10:40 pm

I am the oldest sister. I have 8 younger and 2 brothers. All grew up in the village. I was the first to leave for the city and got up here alone. I didn't cry at all for four years. Everything was given with difficulty, I broke the road with my forehead. Over time, as I graduated from school, I took one after another to the city, helped with everything I could, fed, clothed, lived together, and, as they say, one after another, my birds flew into their personal lives. And recently, without warning and, as a result, with a scandal, the last brother and sister moved out of me. It's embarrassing, but I yelled at them. At first I thought that it was supposedly from betrayal, because I had to pay 20 thousand for a rented apartment, but they dumped me, and I didn’t know what to do, and then I realized that it was from resentment and loneliness. I devoted my life to them, but they left me. Four years ago was the last relationship. I sit and cry. 28 years old, beautiful, not stupid, I cook, my head does not hurt and, as usual, I will break through ...

Loneliness

#167673

March 18, 2022 at 22:00

With my parents alive, I live like an orphan. After the divorce, dad sold the house and dumped in Greece, now he lives for his own pleasure, while leaving me on the street. I had to move in with my mother and her new man. They put up with me for a month because I helped my stepfather's son do his homework. When I had to prepare for the session, I couldn't do my homework with the boy. The stepfather did not like this, and he demanded not to be a freeloader. They quarreled a lot. Mom asked me to leave. I live in a hostel, for six months neither dad nor mom ever called me.

Loneliness

#175952

September 13, 2022 at 21:00

Parents died, grandfathers died, wife died, no children were born. I won't start another family. I don’t know any other relatives, and I’m not going to look for anyone, I don’t need it. I live a quiet, measured life. I don’t hold on to the past, I don’t suffer “oh, if only”, I soberly assess the future and am quite happy in the present. I do not overgrow with things, I am not attached to anything, the financial inheritance is distributed among various charitable foundations. I will be the one who leaves only kodokushi behind. He came, looked at the world, and left himself further.

Loneliness

#169832

May 4, 2022 at 19:00

Several years ago I moved from home to another country. She missed her family very much, especially her mother. And for some reason, I felt calmer when I looked at the moon in the evening. I thought that maybe now my mother is looking at her, and we seem to be close to each other. A year ago, mom and dad passed away, and now, when I look out the window at the moon at night, I feel very lonely, because I know that mom is not looking at her at this time. Mom is not with me.

Loneliness

#176732

September 30, 2022 at 19:00

Always in moments of great joy, the first thing I call my dad to share. I learned that I passed an incredibly important and difficult exam with excellent marks! My hand reached for the phone, and then I remembered that dad had been gone for almost two years. It became so empty and dreary...

Loneliness

#177864

October 25, 2022 at 10:20 am

I used to cook often, the apartment was always cleaned. Now I can’t, I just don’t have the strength, because I have cancer. I had to leave work because I can’t work physically, I mostly lie down. Chemotherapy takes the last forces. There is no one to help me, there is only my husband. At first everything was fine, he supported, helped, dissuaded us from applying for disability, said that we could manage without it. And now more and more breaks down on me, brings to tears. I didn't want this disease. I don't blame him, but I can't and don't want to live like this anymore. I don't know why I'm writing this, there's just no one to talk to. There are no more friends, no one needs cancer patients.

Loneliness

#170492

May 18, 2022 at 11:40 pm

I am alone. I am so lonely in my 30s that I only have to talk in the store: "There are no small ones", "Thank you", "Please, this is it ..." I have absolutely nothing, my hands dropped. Half a life in the trash can. I'm alone, I'm torn apart. I can do a lot, but I'm not in demand. I'm thinking of going to a monastery. And all the "signs" of late have contributed to this: either an inscription on the pavement about honesty and God, or about the Great Martyr ... All my life I have been alone, and I suffer the same amount. Maybe I can be helpful in the temple.

Loneliness

#170855

May 26, 2022 at 21:00

I love spending time alone, reading, working and not being constrained by the need to show my feelings and thoughts to someone. I don’t need a boyfriend, I feel good and with minimal communication with friends and relatives, I like to work a lot, but most of my environment thinks that I am very sick and tries to stir me up, distract me from work and quiet hobbies. No need! My deep inner world is much more interesting than everything around.

Loneliness

#164085

December 29, 2021 at 5:20 pm

"Why don't you have a boyfriend?" people ask around! Yes, I'll sharpen that I'm fat, damn it! Yes, it's fun with me; yes, there is something to talk about with me, because I have brains in addition to everything else; yes, I am talented, and even on my face I am not scary, and even my photos on the social network are excellent; yes, I dress well, even in such a way that people do not immediately realize that I am fat and even begin to communicate with me. But then, when they talk to me, they think, they say, what will happen next, and they prefer to be friends with me. Nobody, NOBODY likes fat people. Even beautiful and smart ones. As many friends and boyfriends as they like (only friends, of course!) Can tell me that I am not fat, but appetizing, and something else there, but I don’t see confirmation of this, I don’t see it. Lazy, fat, single, eats less than some, 21 years old and 76 kg.

Loneliness

#177286

October 12, 2022 at 18:40

I love being alone. No, of course, sometimes you can go to the cinema or the park with friends, but to constantly hang out somewhere, have parties, chat for hours on the phone - this is not my thing. I love the days when you can stay at home, sleep until dinner, walk all day in pajamas, take a bubble bath, do all sorts of masks, watch an old movie just by yourself, in an empty apartment and silence. I dream of a small house in the forest, to go there whenever I please. And so that no telephone and Internet . .. I simply do not exist.

Loneliness

#171469

June 9, 2022 at 09:40

An employee with a temperature of 40 and pneumonia stayed overnight at work, as he was afraid to die alone at home. The man is only 45 years old, and he is so lonely... My fiance was now sent to another country on a business trip, and I realized how bad things are with my friends and with my family. All my friends are married, no matter how you invite them to take a walk, sit somewhere (a bar, etc.), go to the mountains for a couple of days, so everyone cannot take a step without their husbands, they don’t go anywhere from home. Although I am always happy for walks, even when mine was at home. But I especially didn’t expect such a set-up from my parents, who yelled, they say, you’re not married, fuck you live with him (we periodically live with a guy either with him or with me), and even if you leave for him, why should we worry . Two months have passed since his departure, the parents themselves have not called me even once, they have never come to visit me. I went to them, said that I was lonely and didn’t even have anyone to walk with, then I called them and found out that they constantly go somewhere, walk, go to recreation centers and they never even called me. I want to send all these "friends and relatives" to hell and never communicate with them at all. Everyone calls and writes only when they need something.

Loneliness

#169687

May 1, 2022 at 17:00

Seriously ill. My whole world has narrowed down to tests, doctors, hospitals and a wheelchair. At first, friends often called, visited, and then less and less, and now there is no one left. If you call and ask for something, they will always help, but they themselves will not ask, they will not call. And I don't impose. I understand them, it's hard, sad, uncomfortable with a sick person. I believe I will get better. But I will never forget this experience of pain and loneliness. Now I know how the elderly and disabled feel.

Loneliness

#164564

January 10, 2022 at 19:20

Female, 24 years old. Currently having money problems. I feel that life is passing by: there is no money for delicious food, entertainment, a gym, clothes, cosmetics. I always stay at home when not at an interview; friends disappeared after a month. We share the last pasta with the dog, I can no longer ask my parents ... Both ashamed and bitter. I have a rather cold relationship with my parents. As a teenager, I considered it happiness, because they didn’t bother with calls and questions. Now it's even embarrassing. You look at your friends, their parents are interested in how their children live. My mother knows nothing about my life, she is not even really interested. As a child, I made a list of things that I would not do when I became a mother. To date, this list is the complete opposite of my mother's behavior. And they also say that mom is the closest person ...

Loneliness

#176730

September 30, 2022 at 18:20

Tired of brainfucking women! Do not please them, they do not live according to their needs, each fancies herself a queen. I bought a Japanese silicone doll, expensive but worth it. I could not even imagine on a test drive that they are so pleasant and beautiful. Now no one suits me brain-fucking, I'm happy with the purchase and happy alone.

Loneliness

#163326

December 13, 2021 at 11:40 am

I broke up with my boyfriend six months ago. Recently I began to come to my senses, I hang out at my favorite job. And only until now I roar in the toilet when the boss asks to stay to work until late, saying: "Anyway, no one is waiting for you at home." I just feel like shit...

Loneliness

#178418

November 6, 2022 at 10:00 AM

Some bullshit has been happening to me lately. I don’t want to do anything, I want to come home from work, lie down on the bed, curl up in a ball, and not be touched by anyone. She was always cheerful and cheerful, but now she irritates everything and everyone. The husband says that this is from idleness, you have to come home and cook, wash, clean, so that there is no time left for nonsense. Mom does not support, says that I am inventing. And I'm tired, just tired. There is no one to speak, no one understands. I feel like a piece of meat without a soul and feelings.

Loneliness

#170407

May 17, 2022 at 10:40 am

I am 28 years old. Higher education, I am writing a PhD, my favorite highly paid job, I do not need anything. I have an interesting hobby, I go in for sports, I love literature and painting. A nice, good figure, there is no end to the fans, but every year I think more and more with my head, so they are all eliminated at once. I also have a good friend, we've been friends since high school. Her husband studied with us at the same school and at first stuck with me, but I always thought that nothing would come of falling in love at school, and he switched to her. Bottom line: they have been together for more than 10 years, they live in perfect harmony, two children, a dog, recently moved into their house. And the thought does not leave me: why do I need all my hobbies, my education, my earnings and ambitions, if I have no one to share all this with? And every year I am more and more convinced that it is necessary to get married earlier, when there is less calculation in my head.

Loneliness

#175703

September 8, 2022 at 15:20

Today it got cold and it started to rain. I stand at the bus stop and watch as the man covered his companion with a jacket. Both for seventy years. It was so warm from this scene.

Loneliness

#167244

March 9, 2022 at 17:00

Every day, in any weather, at any time, in any condition, I go to one place after work. I look out the windows, do a couple of circles around the house, then get on the bus and leave. And so for two years. At work, they think that once again I'm going to some kind of party, that I'm having fun. In fact, I howl from loneliness under these damn windows, because I lived in this apartment for five years with my ex-boyfriend, and I still can’t accept the fact that these windows, in which the light is on, have long been alien.

Loneliness

#175015

24 August 2022 at 17:00

I was hit by a car. I was riding a motorcycle and all I remember is a light green hood suddenly appearing nearby and then asphalt. The driver just left, it was out of town. I was helped by a couple returning to the city. But the most painful thing is that I don’t even have anyone to tell about what happened, since I live alone. Never felt so alone. I returned to an empty house, and the feeling that I had remained lying on that wet asphalt...

Loneliness

#165096

January 22, 2022 at 11:20 am

I'm in a terrible state right now. I am 29 years old, widowed four years ago, have an eight year old son. The roof goes from loneliness, but the presence of a child scares men. Among peers there are many childfree or those who do not want to raise someone else's child. In no case do I blame, I even understand and am grateful that they are honest with me, but it still hurts in my soul. I don't want casual relationships, I don't want sex for the sake of sex. I just want a cozy, friendly family. But for so many years, so far not a single man I liked has offered a serious relationship. And I don't want it any other way.

Loneliness

#178455

November 6, 2022 at 10:20 pm

I'm washing in the shower, and a spider is sitting on its web on the wall. In theory, I was supposed to run out of the bathroom screaming, but somehow I became too lazy, and I started talking to him about the sea buckthorn shampoo with which I washed my hair. And then I realized that I was alone.

Loneliness

#164946

18 January 2022 at 23:20

I suffer from unrequited love. I'm already so tired and exhausted that I deliberately make myself even worse. I stopped communicating with the guys at the university, for no reason I asked my best friend not to write anymore, I call my parents once a week to say dryly "everything is fine." I look forward to the weekend with fear, because on this day I don’t utter a word, since I live alone. I hate my loneliness, but I can't stop. It's scary what self-destruction can bring in the future.

Loneliness

#163479

16 December 2021 at 16:20

I will soon be 27 years old. I have been living with hepatitis B for ten years already. There were many things: hospitals, doctors, medicines. Now I live a normal life. But after that I put an end to my personal life. I have never been and never will be with a man. I'm afraid to hear that I'm contagious, vile and "dirty". I don't want to be hurt. I almost got used to the idea that relationships and love are not for me. I calmly go to friends' weddings, and their happiness does not irritate me. But I'm so tired.

Loneliness

#170508

May 19, 2022 at 13:40

We were sitting with friends in a cafe, drinking cocktails, chatting about girlish things, and suddenly we notice that a man is sitting behind us, alone, has been sitting for a long time, does not eat or drink anything . One of her friends says: "So strange. Why is he alone? Like a maniac." Then this guy turns around abruptly and says, "Because I don't have any friends." They apologized. Awkward situation.

Loneliness

#168657

April 9, 2022 at 12:40 pm

I'm only 27, but it's like I've already lived my whole life. I have been taking care of my sick mother since the age of 10. For a short life there was a wedding, and a divorce, and a child, alimony, many different jobs, different cars, the army. Buried friends and relatives in unmeasured numbers. He worked a lot, traveled around half of Russia. There were many different hobbies: combat reenactment, fire shows, airsoft, paintball, hardball, auto racing, tourism. As a result, now he was left alone, work and home. Because of the disease, it became difficult to walk, he was tired. I think the end is near.

Loneliness

#173862

July 30, 2022 at 19:40

My husband and I are going to discuss our kitchen in the future mortgage apartment. I propose to make a table that will recline on hinges from the wall. To which the husband objects, they say, then he cannot be nominated, and he hopes that friends will often come to us. And then we look at each other and both start to laugh. Because we have no friends, and the people we thought we were betrayed us years ago. We are terribly lonely, although the two of us.

Loneliness

#176307

September 21, 2022 at 15:40

For half a year, maybe a little more, I have been living alone in a big city. Student. There are no relatives nearby, all close and dear people are in another country. I rent a room. And sometimes it gets so lonely that even a wolf howls. I wanted to get myself some kind of living creature, but since the landlady does not allow it, I had to put up with it. And a week ago I came up with the idea to buy a cactus. Let not living creatures, but the eye will please. And here he is standing on my windowsill in a cold room, small, prickly, but so funny. I look at him and understand that I am no longer alone here. It immediately becomes warmer in the soul))

Loneliness

#167365

March 12, 2022 at 11:20 am

There was a girl in the company with whom no one was particularly friends - she just imposed herself, came to parties, did not drive her away. We were between 20 and 30, different interests and jobs, but no one had enough in common with her to be friends. Once they were going to celebrate others at the dacha, there was not enough space, they didn’t invite her, only the main backbone, and she wrote to the owner: she begged to let her clean up after the party. He neighing, agreed, asked to come with his mop. And so it came. I don't understand how you can be so humiliated.

Loneliness

#165372

January 28, 2022 at 10:40 am

Today I PERFECTLY shaved my balls and realized that for three years now I have no one to show them to. He acutely felt his loneliness.

Loneliness

#164647

January 12, 2022 at 16:20

When I was a child, when my stepfather fucked me, my mother was silent. My own father rushed about with the children of his wives, he sent me other SMS. She grew up quite independent, always counted only on herself. People treat me well, but I don’t know how to build close ties. There are no friends and relatives. And it seems to be used to loneliness, but every year it covers more and more indifference. Soon 30, a career is rushing, another relationship is collapsing, and I just want to go away and just live my life in silence.

Loneliness

#174864

August 21, 2022 at 13:00

I was going to buy rare books from my hands. The seller turned out to be a neglected grandfather, very talkative. He brought only two books from the entire list that I ordered, the rest "have not yet found", offered to go to his house. With difficulty I persuaded him to meet another day. He started calling, talking about himself. She lied that she had gone to another city, asked her father to take the rest of the books from him. So the father said that he himself barely got rid of him. God forbid she grows old in such desperate loneliness.

Loneliness

#171900

June 18, 2022 at 2:20 pm

I lived alone for a very long time in my childhood. Father died. The brother left. I was 14 years old when my mother got a job for 3 days in 3 days. And I was forced to live alone, cook for myself, clean, do laundry, go to school. It was the period of the late 90s. There was no internet, no smartphones. I didn't talk to anyone at school. For 3 years of solitude, I forgot how to talk to people. I saw the world around, as if through a TV screen; as if I see myself from the outside and do not understand the meaning of this series. It was a strange time.

Loneliness

#177922

October 26, 2022 at 2:20 pm

I am 43 years old. A very calm and balanced woman, according to others. I never whine or complain, I always smile and say that everything is fine with me. But no one suspects that, as in childhood, I trust all my problems and complaints to a single creature - a toy fox. Nobody needs me or my problems. I trust no one.

Loneliness

#178166

October 31, 2022 at 18:20

Worked as a boat repairman. Lived right at the dock. During the pandemic, the docks were closed, I was alone there, eating the fish I caught. Those were the best eight months of being alone.

Loneliness

#163845

December 24, 2021 at 14:40

Due to circumstances, we temporarily live with our parents. At work, I work with people. There is no time and place where I can be alone and put my thoughts in order. They love me, appreciate me, take care of me, but this drives me into even more depression, since I cannot relax. I need solitude to reset and relieve stress. I noticed after myself that when I come home from work, I can sit for hours in the car in the parking lot and listen to the silence...

Loneliness

#174625

August 16, 2022 at 10:40 am

She gave birth and raised two sons! She denied herself a lot so that they had everything, since neither the first nor the second marriage worked out. Now I'm alone, dying of fear every evening in an old house that creaks, groans and almost falls apart. I am glad that my sons are doing well, that they have their own life, successful and prosperous. I don't need money, my pension is sufficient, I'm still working, enough for the bare necessities. But so sad...

Loneliness

#174505

August 13, 2022 at 17:00

What I was so afraid of in my childhood and youth, from which I fled so desperately, caught up with me.

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