How to tell your boyfriend you need space without breaking up
Ways On How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Need Space Without Hurting His Feeling
When you just started dating, the day you miss without seeing his face is a day wasted. But nothing is sure in a relationship. It takes both parties' commitment to keep it going strong and work out. Just like the Ways to Maintain a Long Distance Relationship with Your Boyfriend, you need to put some efforts even though you're short distanced. But you can be unsure at times on how to tell your boyfriend you need space without hurting his feeling.
- 0.1 1. Reduce The Intensity Of Seeing Him
- 0.2 2. Be Clear About Your Intention
- 0.3 3. Keep Yourself Calm
- 0.4 4. Ask For His Opinion
- 0.5 5. Convince Him It's Not Breaking Up
- 0.6 6. Don't Beat Around The Bush
- 0.7 7. Don't Be Guilty
- 1 More Ways To Tell Him Without Hurting Him
- 2 Signs That You Need Your Own Space
- 3 Reasons Why You Need Your Own Space
1.Reduce The Intensity Of Seeing Him
If you used to see each other everyday and barely have time to do other things, you need to change this first. Seeing each other that often turns out to be unhealthy for your relationship since it's always end up in fight. You can take it as the Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship with Boyfriend.
2. Be Clear About Your Intention
You need to tell him in detail as to why you need your own space. It's how you tell your boyfriend you need space without hurting his feeling. Tell him that it's solely for the sake of your relationship, not because you want to take benefits of the current situation.
3. Keep Yourself Calm
There are a good chance he might be misunderstood you for this. Make sure that whatever responds he give, you can keep calm. Don't turn in into a fight because it only make things worse. Give him the good reasons and explain them in detail.
4. Ask For His Opinion
Remember that you are discussing with him, not asking for his permission to have your own space. You have to take his opinion into account, listening to what he thinks as well. You can't make one sided decision on something important like this.
5. Convince Him It's Not Breaking Up
This is the worst that could happen. He may take this as the Signs She Wants to Break Up But Doesn't Know How so you ask for a space. Convince him that it is not. Make your you address his concern and emphasize the reasoning as a good things for the future of your relationship.
6. Don't Beat Around The Bush
Before telling your intention to him, be careful with the words you choose. Even though you are hesitating, don't make it sound as though you are searching for a reason to escape from him. Say it clearly and directly.
7. Don't Be Guilty
Asking the space of your own is not a crime. You don't have to be afraid whether you have hurt his feeling. It's for the sake of your relationship, and there's no denial that couples need to be away for each other at some point.
More Ways To Tell Him Without Hurting Him
Here are more ways to tell him you need your own space.
- Make a point of why you both need that space.
- Plan when to talk, where, and how.
- Read the situation. If he seemed to be stressed out with work, tell him next time.
- Emphasized the "I" in every of your sentenced, as if you are to blame. Such as "I'm feeling unhappy lately."
- Be sure about how longer the time you need. It gives him the assurance that you are not breaking up with him.
Signs That You Need Your Own Space
It's nothing abnormal when someone is needing her own time in a relationship. In fact, it's a good time to reflect, refresh, and the best Ways to Get Him Miss You Again. Here are the signs when you need that space.
- You fight a lot with each other.
- You even fight over small things and it's getting worse.
- Both of you asking each other's permission to do literally everything. It's not healthy.
- His jokes are not funny anymore. It even cause fight sometimes.
- You're no longer enjoying the time together.
- Going on dates is not as fun as it used to be.
- You feel difficult to communicate with recently.
- You want to go everywhere without him.
- You no longer take him to an invitation.
- You feel like you're stressed out by the relationship and him.
- You are not your truly self when you're with him.
Reasons Why You Need Your Own Space
When you have just started dating, you want to spend your whole time seeing his face. But as the time pass by, instead of joy, the meeting with him cause your mood get ruined. You suddenly want to be alone and realizing at some point that being together all the times turns out not to be the best Ways to Make Him Go Crazy Over You again. Here are the reasons why you need your own space:
- His absence will make your heart grow fonder. And so will his.
- You need to miss him to make the relationship works again.
- You need to distinguish whether you interest to him is just a physical interest lead to sexual needs or you really love him.
- It gives you chance to redefine yourself and not get carried away by your significant other.
- You'll be waiting the time when you meet him again.
- Everything would feel like the first time again.
- You need to forgive him, and it's the rightest way to.
- Just like a phone, your heart need to be recharged too.
- Being in a relationship for such a long time could be burden to you, and giving space is the way to lift them off.
- You have to fall in love with them again.
After reading the reasons and signs about space you need, now you don't have to contemplate the ways how to tell your boyfriend you need space without hurting his feeling. If you tell him that the reasons are for the sake of your relationship, he will not be hurt.
Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you?
Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you.
Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz
37 Creative “I Need Space” Text Message Examples
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Are you feeling suffocated by your relationship?
Do you need some time alone to figure out what you want?
If so, it might be a time to tell your partner that you need some space for yourself to clear your head.
This can be a difficult conversation, but it’s important, to be honest with your partner about your feelings.
First of all, be clear that you still want to be together, but you are just not in a good place right now.
Tell your partner that you love them and just need some time to focus on yourself or spend more time with your family or friends.
To avoid hurting your partner’s feelings and to make them feel more comfortable you can also discuss any concerns they may have.
Finally, thank your partner for their understanding and support if they agree to give you some space.
Now let’s take a look at a few examples of what you can tell your partner if you want to take some time to focus on yourself.
Don’t miss: 11 Reasons Why She Is Not Ready For A Relationship And What To Do About It
How to Tell Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend You Need Space Without Breaking up?
1. I’m sorry but I just need some space to myself right now. I hope you will understand.
2. I’m not mad at you, but every once in a while I just need some time to myself.
3. I’m sorry for being so distant lately. I just need some time to myself to clear my head.
4. I need some time to process everything that’s been going on between us. I’ll text you later.
5. I just need some time to relax and clear my head for a few days.
6. I’m not trying to push you away, I just need some time alone to figure out what I want.
7. I am sorry but I need some time to figure out what I want to do with my life.
8. I know you’re probably feeling a little left out right now, but I promise I’ll come back to you soon when I am ready.
9. I’m not ready to talk to you right now, I need some time to cool down.
10. I’m not sure if I am ready to be in a relationship right now, I need some time to figure things out.
11. I need to focus on my own life right now, and I can’t do that if I’m always with you. Let’s take a week off and chat again next weekend.
12. I need some time alone to clear my head. Can you give me some space for a little while?
13. I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now and I need some time to sort through my thoughts.
14. I am really sorry but I need to take a break from this relationship for a few days. I’ll contact you when I’m ready to talk.
15. I need some time to work on my own personal issues. I’ll contact you when I’m ready to talk.
16. I need some time to clear my head. I’ll talk to you in a few days.
17. I’m sorry if I’m making you feel like I’m rejecting you, but I promise that’s not my intention. I just need some time to work through my emotions.
18. I need to focus on my school so I think it is better if we give each other a little bit of space.
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19. I need some time to figure out what I want and where I see myself in the future. Let’s give each other some space in the next few weeks.
20. I don’t know what’s going on with me but I need some time to clear my head.
21. I’m not angry at you, I just need some time to figure things out. Let’s talk again in a week or two.
22. I just need some time to figure out what I’m doing. I’ll talk to you soon.
23. Hey, I need some space for a little while. I’ll talk to you soon.
24. I’m not sure what I want right now. I need some space to figure it out. I’ll talk to you later.
25. I’m just not in the mood to talk right now. I’ll call you in a day or two when I feel more relaxed.
26. I need some time alone to clear my head and figure out what I want. I’ll be back soon when I feel better.
27. I need some time to rediscover my independence. I think it is better if we don’t see each other for a few weeks.
28. I’m not feeling good. I need some time to take care of myself. Let’s take this week off from seeing each other and meet up again next weekend.
29. I’m not feeling well emotionally. I need some space to figure things out.
30. I need some time alone to clear my head. Is it okay if we don’t see each other for a few days?
31. I really need some time to myself right now. Can you give me a little while to clear my head?
32. I just need some time alone to relax and rejuvenate. Hopefully, it is okay with you?
33. I’m just not feeling good about our relationship right now and need some time apart.
34. I need some time to find out what I want in a relationship. I’ll be back when I’m ready.
35. I need to stay home and relax for a few days. I’ll talk to you next week.
36. I just need some time to figure out what I want. This relationship is important to me, and I want to make sure I’m not messing anything up.
37. I’m feeling really stressed out right now and need some time to calm down. I’ll text you when I’m ready to talk.
Don’t miss: How To Let A Guy Down Easy After Leading Him On
How to Respond to “I Need Space” Texts From Your Partner?
If you end up in a situation where your girlfriend or boyfriend is the one who asks for some space, here are a few ideas on how you can respond.
1. I understand. I’ll be here when you’re ready.
2. Of course. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m just glad you’re honest with me.
3. Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.
4. I’m here for you, no matter what.
5. It’s okay. I’ll be here when you’re ready.
6. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I’ll be here when you’re ready.
7. You don’t have to explain it to me. I love you, and I’ll be here when you’re ready.
8. It’s okay. I hope you know that you can always come to me when you need to talk.
9. You don’t have to apologize. I love you, and I’ll be here when you’re ready.
10. You don’t have to say anything. I’m here for you. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.
Read next: 30 Ways To Break Up With Someone Over Text Without Hurting Them
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How to correctly tell your partner that you need more time for yourself
“Some of us, when we hear that our partner would like to increase the emotional and physical distance, take it painfully, feel rejected and abandoned. The atmosphere in the family is heating up,” explains psychologist Li Lang. - Alas, one often has to observe a situation where one partner wants to move away, and the second, feeling this, tries by hook or by crook to pull him to himself. As a result, because of this “tug of war”, both suffer.”
What if you need more time for yourself than for your partner? How to choose the right words and convey a request to him so that he does not misunderstand your words? How to convince that both of you will only win as a result? Here's what the relationship experts say.
Explain what, in fact, you mean by time for yourself
First of all, you should decide for yourself what, in fact, is personal space and “time for yourself” for you. It is unlikely that you mean the need to live separately from your partner. More often than not, it's about spending at least half the day off alone doing what you enjoy: drinking tea, lounging on the couch with a book, watching a TV series, crushing opponents in a video game, or building a mock-up airplane.
“Explain that all you need is to recover a bit, collect your thoughts and relax,” suggests Talya Wagner, family therapist and author of Married Roommates. - And the main thing here is to be able to look at the situation through the eyes of a partner. This way you can both understand each other better and learn to support each other.”
Choose the right words
Since the topic is quite sensitive, it is important to pay attention to both word choice and tone. It depends on how the partner perceives your words: as a harmless request or a signal that family happiness is over. “It’s important to be as gentle as possible and emphasize that you both win in the end,” says Wagner. “But if you get annoyed and blame, your message is hardly perceived correctly.”
So instead of complaining that you're running out of energy (“I'm so tired of these problems at work and at home! I need to be alone”), say, “I think we both need a little more time for yourself, more personal space. This will benefit both each of us and the relationship as a whole.”
Emphasize the benefits of spending time apart
“Too much fusion, when we do everything together all the time (we are family!), banishes all romance and playful moods from the relationship,” says psychologist and sex therapist Stephanie Buhler . “But the time spent apart allows us to look at each other with a fresh look and maybe even experience a desire that has long left us.”
Don't forget about your personality type and that of your partner.
According to Buhler, introverts often need personal space, which is understandable. Spending time alone helps them recharge, but this can be difficult for their extrovert spouses to accept. “Introverts literally fade away if they can’t spend time alone with themselves: dreaming, reading, walking, thinking. If this is your case, describe to your partner in detail how you feel.”
Remind your partner that you love them
We can express love and experience different types of affection in different ways. If a partner is anxiously attached to you, stability and security are important to him in a relationship, it is important to know that you will not leave him or her. In a conversation with such a person, it is important to emphasize that your desire for freedom is not at all a sentence to relationships. You love your partner dearly, but in order to continue doing this in the future, you need a little more time for and for yourself.
Plan something together after taking time for yourself
Nothing will calm him better than the fact that after spending time alone with yourself, you will return “to the family” peaceful, rested, happy and ready to invest in relationships. In addition, now you can fully enjoy joint activities without sighing to yourself about how nice it would be to stay at home alone and spend the evening on the couch.
Most likely, then the partner will finally understand that time for yourself can become the key to a close connection and real intimacy between you and help strengthen the relationship.
how to break up with a guy and still be friends with him
Sometimes it happens: at first you were happy, but suddenly the love is gone. How to make a breakup less painful and explain to a man that he is not the hero of your novel?
Talk to yourself
Maybe this is your offense? A consequence of prolonged stress? Anger at your man that arose a couple of days ago? You need to first understand yourself, and then convey your thoughts to him. After all, everything you say hurts a lot, even if you choose the most accurate wording.
Know in advance
Before starting that very conversation, you must be absolutely sure of what you are going to say. There will be no turning back: if you suddenly change your mind and tell him that you still love him, he will already lose confidence in you.
Decide for yourself that this is your final and irrevocable break. If you can't imagine that, then you probably don't have good reason to leave this person.
Choose a place and time
How to part beautifully? For such a conversation, you need the right environment. Do not start it at your house - this is your common territory, he will feel that he is being abruptly kicked out of his own "corner". Do not call to your favorite place - so as not to make him suffer. The best option is a quiet cafe where you can calmly discuss everything. Immediately after the conversation, give him the opportunity to be alone and think everything over.
Don't use intimidating phrases like "we're going to have a serious conversation." It is better to say this: "I need to discuss something important for me with you, please choose a convenient time for this."
If everything has not been smooth in your couple for a long time and you live under the same roof or see each other often, try to refrain from both conflicts and sweet reconciliations until you have discussed everything. After all, during that very conversation you do not need extra emotions - it is already quite difficult.
Talk about yourself
The moment of truth has come - now it is very important to pay attention to your speech. Your goal is to convey in the mildest, but peremptory form that you are no longer a couple.
How to stay friends with an ex? You should not throw accusations, even if the claims have accumulated with a vengeance. What value do they have now? It is better to devote your speech entirely to yourself and your decision. Face it: this is not a dialogue, you are just putting it before a fact. "I thought about it and realized that I could no longer see you." This is the best way to indicate the purpose of the conversation and confirm your intentions.
Give a detailed answer
A man will most likely want to know why you made such a decision. But the truth about dislike is too harsh. Nevertheless, it is also not worth completely misinterpreting: otherwise, you will plant doubts, complexes and reflection in it. And when he nevertheless guesses the truth or someone tells him everything, he will be doubly hurt.
It is better to say something like “I realized that you are not my person” or “not my future”. Don't say about him "you paid little attention to me" or "if you tried harder"... Because it's too late for a man to change something in himself. In addition, we all understand that if we are abandoned, it means that they no longer love us. There is no need to plant in his head the idea that he was out of love because of work or because he disappeared too often with friends in a bar.
Let him choose
If a man wants to get up and leave at this stage, calmly let him go and do not delay him - he needs personal space to cope with new circumstances. But many conversations do not end there - he will probably want to talk.
Let him speak, don't get into his monologue and don't argue. If he accuses you of something harshly enough, let him finish it and don't boil over. Along the way, answer his questions. It is advisable to do this truthfully, but gently: "No, I have not met another" or "Yes, this is my personal decision, and I have not consulted with anyone. "
After you have discussed everything, outline your new relationship and next steps. If he is not ready to talk now about when you will leave or when he will pick up his things, do not rush him - return to the discussion in a few days.
It is worth talking about your further friendship only if the man himself is interested in it. 10 pluses that can be found in parting.
Don't do this when breaking up with a man:
Don't try to stop him. Do not change your mind at the very end and do not rush into his arms - he is not a puppet.
Do not use this conversation to remember all his hurtful actions.
Do not refer to non-existent circumstances and do not lie that, say, you are leaving for a year on a business trip.
If you met someone else, it's better not to talk about it now - now you are only discussing the two of you.