How to spot a woman with low self esteem
10 Signs of Low Self Esteem in a Woman
In This Article
Picture this situation. In your head, you have run through a situation or a conversation umpteen times. It would seem so many reruns will make you ready to face the situation.
But at the time of delivery, your old fears surface again. And the niggling worry, “Am I showing all signs of low self-esteem in a woman?”
Stop right there before the self-blame begins. Remember, you are not alone. There are reasons for low self-esteem, and there are ways out. Listed below are some ways to identify and help yourself and others.
What does low self-esteem mean in a woman?
In relationships, mainly in a marriage, a woman is called ‘the better half.’ This statement is thrown around quite a lot. It is well-intentioned, of course.
With signs of low self-esteem in a woman, this phrase takes a beating! The ‘better’ can quickly turn to ‘bitter.’
Whether at work or in a relationship, a confident woman will do much better. She will take negatives and mistakes in her stride. She will learn from every situation. She will stride forward, believing she will make the best of any situation.
Not being able to go ahead confidently can damage a lot of things. A low self esteem girl will question her own beliefs.
She will grow more dependent on others. More importantly, she will lose that swag that says she knows what she is doing.
Also Try: Signs Of Bisexuality In Females Quiz
Women and low self esteem
Self-esteem or lack thereof is something that is not exclusive to women. Both genders are susceptible. It is a fact that women have more self-esteem issues than men.
Studies show this quite conclusively. It is easier to spot signs of low self esteem in a woman than in a man. This is mainly because men, in general, are more confident.
Why is this so?
It is believed that the answer lies in biological differences. It is about complex chemical processes in women’s brains. It is about centuries of conditioning and belief patterns. It is about expectations of behavior patterns.
Men are physiologically more strongly built than women. It is a fact of biological evolution. In an evolving world order, gender equality is being demanded.
However, it will remain the fact that the majority of women have lesser physical strength than men. This does lead to physical insecurity and lack of confidence.
One of the signs of low self esteem in a woman is gravitating towards the negative. Women tend to judge themselves harshly. It is as if they are forever in search of perfection. ‘I am fat’ ‘I have flabby arms’ ‘My cooking is not good’ ‘I cannot speak confidently, ‘I am not competent enough, to name a few.
This reflects in the way other women look at you. Ultimately it becomes a norm how society perceives you.
There is a reason for all this.
According to Dr.Louann Brizendine, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, women are far too judgemental. They tend to worry more about everything. From ‘Am I being a good mommy?’ to ‘Will the chicken casserole taste good?’, it goes on. This is because the worry center of the human brain is bigger in women!
Signs of low self esteem in a woman feed upon hormonal changes in the female brain. We are talking of estrogen and progesterone.
Their hormonal cycles cause changes that affect self-esteem in a big way. And then, there is the
environment and upbringing.
Women also believe they have to conform to norms. Statistics show that,
- Almost 70% of women are ready to take pills to attain ideal body weight.
- About 90% of females feel increasingly sensitive before the start of their periods.
- 74% of girls say they feel pressured to please.
- Girls and women have 90% of all eating problems.
- 53% of young girls have body image issues growing up.
10 signs of low self esteem in a woman
Spotting signs of low self esteem in a woman happens on physical as well as personality aspects.
Low self-esteem usually manifests in mental state, certain physical traits, and affected relationships. Before you begin to feel out of place, learn to read these signs.1. Low confidence
Confidence and self-esteem have a symbiotic relationship. One thrives on another. It follows that low self-esteem will lead to a lack of confidence.
Low self-esteem will hamper a woman from moving ahead in life. This will manifest as lacking signs of confidence in a woman.
Also Try: Is Low Self-Esteem Preventing You From Finding Love?2. Withdrawing from interactions
Dreading the upcoming ladies’ meet organized by friends? For the simple reason that you might have to talk about yourself?
This trait of wanting to withdraw from social gatherings consistently could be one of the signs she has low self esteem.
One ends up comparing with others negatively. Instead of feeding off others’ achievements, they feel inadequate.3. Getting hostile
Being overly defensive about something, to the point of getting aggressive, is another telltale sign. Fear of getting perceived inadequacies exposed is one of the signs she has low self esteem.
Also Try: How Likeable Are You Quiz4. Feeling of losing control
When a woman has low self-esteem, she feels as if she has no control. As if she lacks power over herself or her surroundings. This can create a sense of instability and a feeling of being unanchored.5. Substance abuse
One of the signs of low self esteem in a woman is an unhealthy physical attribute. This generally manifests as smoking, alcohol, or even drug use. The habit catches on as a support for their low self-esteem. It then becomes challenging to kick.
Also Try: Am I Abusive to My Partner Quiz6. Seeing nothing above your problems
Women with low self-esteem often get stuck within themselves. There is an overriding feeling that they got a bad deal. In everything.
This not only pushes them into self-pity mode but also stops them from empathizing with others.
There are many people out there who are in worse situations. Reach out to them! Who knows, your self-esteem may get a fillip once your perspective changes.7. Overly sensitive to criticism
Are you someone overly sensitive to criticism? A female with low self esteem will have this trait.
Criticism can be a way of self-improvement. This fact escapes those who have low self-esteem. They tend to react negatively and personally to criticism.
Also Try: Am I Too Sensitive in My Relationship Quiz8. Feeling embarrassed asking for help
This is a sure sign of low self-esteem. Such women feel embarrassed to seek help. It may be as simple as finding their way. Or support about office work. They think others will think less of them or consider them incompetent.9. Fearing failure
Self-talk in a negative fashion is one of the traits of women with low self esteem. This negative reinforcement causes a mindset that hampers any work at all.
They go about thinking they will not succeed. There is a constant internal conversation about failure situations. You are priming yourself for adverse outcomes.
Also Try: Fear of Commitment Quiz10. Going out of the way trying to please
It is seen that girls with no self respect or self esteem continually try to please. They are unsure of themselves and lack any opinion.
Going along with general opinion seems to be their answer. This is a commonly observed trait. Sadly this does not translate into likeability.
What causes low self-esteem in a woman
Why does a woman develop low self-worth? Neuroscience provides a scientific answer to this, saying women’s brains are different from men’s. Science shows women’s ‘worry centers’ are more extensive.
Because they worry more and negatively, their self-worth takes a beating.
But is that all? The answer is NO.
There can be several reasons for women having low self-esteem. Interestingly many of these reasons can be traced back to childhood. A young child is highly impressionable. This is especially true for young girls.
- Insecure childhood with overly critical guardians.
- Suboptimal performance in school, leading to comparison. This can eat away their confidence.
- Having to deal with medical issues constantly can hurt self-esteem.
- Being in a bad relationship can destroy a woman’s self-esteem like nothing else.
- People who have some mental illness.
How to improve your self esteem as a woman?
In the words of Barbara Corcoran, “I used to hate feeling embarrassed, but then I realized nobody’s watching and nobody gives a damn.”
“Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear,” goes another saying.
How can a woman be more confident? How to help a woman with low self esteem?
The journey from diffidence and low self-esteem to a confident woman is not easy. It is something that has to be worked on regularly. And it needs support from those around her.
A woman who is looking to turn herself around needs positive reinforcement. Constantly!
Whether you do it on your own or you wish to help some woman you know, these are some pointers to follow:
- Talk to yourself
You are the one who knows yourself the best. Once you see signs of low self esteem in yourself, you have a task on hand. Become your best friend. Constantly give yourself positive reinforcement. Tell yourself you can do it.
Also Try: Quiz: Are You Open with Your Partner?
We hear this all the time, and it is typical to think, does this help? The answer is a big YES.
When you love and pamper yourself, you are giving positivity and self belief. You are telling yourself how to build confidence and self esteem.
- Stop comparisons
The single most damaging thing for self esteem is negative comparison. Think of it this way! Everyone cannot do everything.
Some people are good at certain things, not so in others. Applying the same yardstick to yourself is being unfair. It is better to put in your best effort in whatever you do.
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This follows the previous point mentioned. Every time you achieve some target, however big or small it may be, celebrate! Give yourself a huge pat on the back.
Do something special. Make a note of your improvements. This helps to actually ‘see’ how your efforts are bearing fruit.
Worrying never got anyone anywhere. You can only plan your way into the future. Many times, things don’t work to a plan.
If you keep saying ‘What if…. ’, it will drag you down further. This will affect your physical and emotional wellbeing.
Also Try: Do I Have Relationship Anxiety Quiz
This is advice that holds for almost every situation. It is especially true for boosting mental state. A healthy dose of activity helps release feel good hormones in the brain.
These help to perk you up and put you in a great frame of mind. Besides improving health parameters, of course.
Watch this video to understand the journey to your personal growth and confidence:
- Let go of the past
We all make mistakes. We learn from them too. Living in the present makes a lot of difference. Help yourself or someone you know to gain confidence in them.
Also Try: Who Did You Date in a Past Life Quiz
It is essential to reach out when you feel you cannot come out of this limiting mindset. This is not something to be ashamed of, or to put away for another day.
Close friends, peer groups, physicians, or community health centers are good places to begin.
Remember, it is not only about how to spot a woman with low self esteem. Keep suggesting these means to her. It is important to check that she practices these regularly.
Who knows, you might be making the single most significant difference in someone’s life.
Also Try: How's Your Self Esteem QuizConclusion
Identifying signs of low self esteem in a woman is just half the journey. Take a challenge to help her self confidence issues. That would be the best gift of love and respect.
30 Signs of Low Self-Esteem in a Woman that Reveal a Need for Self-Love
It is important to know the signs of low self-esteem in a woman, both personally and for those who are important to us, so that we can help in any way we can.
Whether you are a teenager, young adult, or in your forties or fifties, we all face issues with self-esteem. Often we recognize it. We have a bad hair day, we wake up with a zit, or we just have a blah day.
But sometimes, we fool ourselves into believing our self-esteem is at its peak when in fact, we show signs of low self-esteem.
It is important to be self-aware so that we can fight back and regain our confidence. [Read: How to build your self-esteem and love your life]
Low self-esteem in a woman
Low self-esteem is a lack of belief in yourself. And that can be for one aspect of your life or every one of them. Someone may be full of confidence at work but second guess themselves regarding relationships or vice versa.
Think back to your awkward years, perhaps in grade school. Maybe you had braces, bad skin, or wore your sibling’s old clothes. That time period may be something you look back on and see your low self-esteem waving like a flag.
But as you mature, low self-esteem becomes a bit more difficult to spot.
We grow in certain aspects of our lives and build up faith that we will be successful. And if we don’t, we at least act as if we do to get through the workweek.
That is why identifying low self-esteem in a woman can be difficult. We are taught not to show it, and it can actually come off as if we are conceited rather than struggling with our self-confidence. [Read: How to be happy in life and live it to the fullest]
Why do women get low self-esteem?
Just like teenagers, women get low self-esteem from both internal and external factors. Bullying, family drama, a dysfunctional relationship, and of course, mental illness like anxiety and depression surge low self-esteem as well.
You may struggle with thinking you are unlovable if you have had nothing but bad relationships. You might have low self-esteem if you had a strained relationship with your parents. And childhood bullying can bring up a lot of confidence issues, even for a strong and independent career woman. [Read: Am I unlovable? What you need to know when you feel unloved]
It’s true that the world isn’t easy for anyone. There’s a lot of judgment on what’s right and what’s wrong, and it certainly doesn’t work in our favor. To some degree, everyone has low self-esteem.
Some people have low self-esteem on specific things. Whereas others struggle with almost everything that comes along their path.
When we’re single, we sometimes ignore our low self-esteem issues or simply don’t see them because we’re in our comfort zone. But when we’re in a relationship, our insecurities are magnified.
When you’re insecure, your partner can help you greatly to work through those self-esteem issues. But at the same time, low self-esteem can sabotage your relationship. That’s why it’s important to look for the signs of low self-esteem in a woman and do something about it. [Read: How your self-respect in a relationship affects you and your love life]
The signs of low self-esteem in a woman
But, what does low self-esteem look like? Sure, it can be obvious. A woman may be down and question herself in every aspect of life. She may hate shopping, not put effort into her appearance, or try to set goals in her career.
Often, signs of low self-esteem in a woman are quite a bit more subtle.
1. A need for attention
Many women with low self-esteem crave attention in any way they can. That can be through the affection of men, stealing someone’s ideas at work, or crying at every office party.
We know it doesn’t sound good. Low self-esteem can lead to very neurotic behavior that is hard to describe. You may think someone who doesn’t think highly of themselves would simply change. It is not so easy. [Read: The signs you’re an attention seeker and don’t even know it]
2. A pessimistic attitude
Yes, some women with low self-esteem will crave attention. Others will dwell on the negatives of every situation. Instead of looking at the bright side, they will always consider the worst possible outcome.
They will go on a date thinking it will end badly. Or they have a negative attitude towards an interviewer because they doubt they have a chance at the job they want, and they will likely try to bring you down with them.
If you are going on a date, instead of saying “I’m excited for you,” they may say, “Good luck, hope you don’t have to sneak out of the bathroom window.” [Read: How to deal with the Negative Nancy in your life]
3. A lack of drive
Many women with high self-esteem always have new goals to reach. They graduate college, head to grad school, and land a great job, but their eyes are on a better one in a few years.
Someone with low self-esteem may stay in a low-paying job beneath their abilities simply because they don’t have the guts or belief that they can do more. [Read: What should I do with my life to make it better? 16 steps to design your ideal life]
4. A follower’s attitude
A sign of low self-esteem in a woman is following. A woman with low self-esteem may struggle to make her own choices. She will shop based on what someone she looks up to is wearing.
She will mimic others to try to better herself rather than owning who she is.
Low self-esteem is a tricky thing. It sounds easy to follow your life’s direction and appreciate any good things that come along. But someone with low self-esteem may unintentionally sabotage their own happiness.
Say a woman with low self-esteem is in a healthy relationship. She may subconsciously be afraid that her partner will leave her. So instead of talking to him about it or even looking at the facts, she may cause a fight or break up with him before he can hurt her. [Read: The many ways people sabotage their happiness and ruin their own lives]
Those with low self-esteem do not always realize that that is what they are struggling with. In fact, they may be in denial. Instead, they blame others for any struggles in their life.
They may blame their parents for not having a better education, their spouse for their happiness, their kids for their career, etc.
7. Low standards
You’ve seen this all the time in movies. A girl puts up with a bunch of crappy boyfriends because she didn’t realize she deserved a guy who would respect her and appreciate her.
Her self-esteem was low, so she put up with crumbs when she deserves a stack of freshly baked cookies. You’d notice this same pattern in your own life as well. [Read: Why lowering your standards will only bring you crappy relationships]
Ahhh… the sucker of all signs of low self-esteem in a woman, bullying. Sometimes high school never ends. Some women struggling with self-esteem issues take it out on others.
It could be women they are jealous of, women they see themselves in, or really anyone they feel they can get away with putting down.
This is nothing new. We always hear that bullies put others down to make themselves feel better. Of course, it is immature, childish, and not effective, but it still happens like it or not. [Read: Am I toxic? How to tell if you’re the toxic one and not everyone else]
Some people assume that women who put effort into their appearance must be struggling with low self-esteem. But, that is not always the case. Many women who wear makeup, are interested in fashion, etc., have a fair amount of confidence and let these interests show that off.
However, a sign of low self-esteem in a woman is laziness about her appearance. Of course, some women just don’t care or simply don’t have the time to, but low self-esteem can make you question why you should bother with things like makeup or fancy clothes.
Saying “I’m sorry” is common for many women, especially women with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can make you feel unwanted and unneeded.
If you interrupt a meeting to ask a question and apologize, you may be struggling with low self-esteem. Your question was likely very insightful, but for some reason, you felt the need to apologize for your place in that meeting. [Read: 20 signs of insecurity people can’t hide when they feel insecure]
11. A desire for sympathy
Who has it worse?
Competing over who has it worse to gain sympathy is not just about discussing who is more stressed but about gaining attention through sorrow and pity.
12. Spoiling and overcompensating
Low self-esteem can be about acceptance and when that’s hard to come by, some women start to spoil others or overcompensate. The problem is that they often do good things for people who don’t deserve it.
For instance, she might start to bake cookies for her colleagues at work, even though they do nothing but drag her down all day long. Or she might volunteer for every single project, just so she can look good in their eyes. [Read: Why am I so insecure? 20 reasons why you care much more than others]
Yes, sometimes at a party, you just feel like chilling in the corner with the host’s puppy, but if you or a friend consistently withdraw from socializing, you may have low self-esteem.
One of the signs of low self-esteem in a woman is the feeling of not fitting in, and instead of trying, you just stay back on your own. You may even tell yourself that if you deserve attention or if these people want to hang out with you, they will seek you out.
Much like bullying, bragging is a way people with low self-esteem temporarily boost their ego. They brag about their new car, cool stereo system, or gorgeous baby, but they are likely struggling with a lot you don’t know about.
People who are happy with their lives and themselves don’t feel the need to brag. [Read: Your guide to not giving a fuck and having more laughs]
Being a pushover is a sign of low self-esteem in a woman. Going along with the group and never speaking up or sharing your opinion is a way those struggling with confidence remain unseen.
Someone with low self-esteem doesn’t want to make a big deal. They don’t want to ruffle feathers or break from the status quo. So by agreeing with where everyone wants to go to dinner, where your partner wants to move, or that your boss promoted your less qualified coworker, you put yourself down.
16. Negative self-talk
When you look in the mirror, do you point out your flaws before anything else? Do you put more attention on the things you’d like to fix than the things you’re proud of yourself for? Maybe you can’t accept a compliment.
A sign of low self-esteem in a woman is the inability to speak positively about oneself. Instead, you focus only on what you don’t like about yourself. [Read: How to master positive self-talk and banish negativity]
You can’t accept criticism, even when it is fair. Instead of accepting that you can work on something, you take every note of your work as a personal attack. You have trouble letting go of the slightest comments and let them eat away at you.
You feel constant and intense shame from failure, even when it wasn’t your fault. When things go wrong around you, you tend to blame yourself and feel responsible.
This can really damage your psyche and make your low self-esteem even lower. [Read: Is negative thinking ruining your life?]
Low self-esteem can manifest into more severe issues like depression and anxiety or can come from them. These can show themselves through physical ailments. You may feel exhausted, disinterested, have a lack an appetite, or feel weak.
In this case, low self-esteem needs more than your own attention and work. The help of a therapist can work wonders if you’re open to it.
20. Acting guarded
Even if they’ve been dating for a long time, they still can’t totally open up to their partner. Sound familiar? This is one of the signs of low self-esteem in a woman.
It’s usually down to some nasty experience in the past but sometimes it can be for no reason whatsoever.
Low self-esteem is the driving force behind this and they’re constantly afraid of being abandoned if they open up completely. [Read: What insecure people can’t hide when they feel insecure]
21. Testing others
In the beginning, when you’re dating, it’s normal for people to test each other in specific situations. But when you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t have to test your partner. Women with low self-esteem tend to do this a lot.
It’s usually because in the back of their mind they’re wondering whether he really loves her or if he could really be with someone like her.
These thoughts push in a specific direction and a woman will start to test her partner to show her value. It’s toxic in so many ways, both for your relationship and your self-esteem. [Read: The 11 biggest tests girls put you through in a relationship]
22. Doing things you don’t want to do
Naturally, when we’re in a relationship, there are things that we do because our partner would like to do it. Do we like it? No, but we do it because of them and that’s okay.
But, if a woman is always doing this, even if she really doesn’t want to do something, it’s not a good sign. [Read: 20 signs she’s a people pleaser even if she doesn’t realize it]
23. Difficult accepting compliments
A woman can receive the best compliments out there but she will just blush and reject them. Someone who loves themselves will take the compliment and thank you for it.
But a woman with low self-esteem simply doesn’t accept what she’s being told.
24. Hiding during sex
A common sign is that a woman refuses to have the lights on or to be on top during sex. These may not seem like a big deal but this underlines a major self-esteem issue.
It’s problematic because it stops her enjoying sex and instead, she’s focusing entirely on her perceived flaws.
Whether it’s picking a restaurant or a beach to go to, you can never make a decision. This is because women with low self-esteem are unable to make decisions and they constantly change their minds.
The driver behind it is being concerned about the other person not liking their choice rather than making a choice. [Read: The best ways to deal with an indecisive partner]
26. A preoccupation with luck
Whether luck exists or not, a person with low self-esteem will never assume that something happened to them because they worked hard or deserved it.
Instead, they’ll tell you that they’re lucky. In reality, there was a lot of hard work that went into the achievement. This is one of the biggest signs of low self-esteem in a woman because it shows she doesn’t believe in herself.
Surprisingly, many studies have shown that there is a correlation between materialism and low self-esteem.
People with low self-esteem turn to short-term pleasure, thinking that it’ll make them feel better, however, that’s not the case. Though they think that buying new things will give them worth, they’re wrong. [Read: 13 happy things everyone needs for a really happy life]
28. Conflict avoidance
When someone doesn’t like something, they voice their opinion. But a woman with low self-esteem will stay far away from conflict. In fact, she’ll probably agree just to keep the peace. It’s likely that she’s scared of speaking her truth because she doesn’t want to handle the consequences.
29. Comfort zone
You may be overqualified for a promotion at work but instead, you decide not to take it. This is because of low self-esteem and a fear of failing. Women that don’t believe in themselves don’t push themselves forward.
30.An obsession with the success of others
Because of insecurity, a woman with low self-esteem isn’t going to push themselves forward. Instead, they focus on making sure other people push themselves forward.
Now, this support isn’t bad, but they do this because they’re scared of their own success. They would go one million miles for others, but they never do anything for themselves. [Read: 10 steps to helping your partner drop their unhealthy habits]
Your feelings are valid
Remember, if you do struggle with low self-esteem, your feelings are valid. We all have crappy days. And no one is 100% confident all the time.
But you deserve to believe in yourself. You deserve to try your hardest. You deserve to be treated better and have friends that truly care.
If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or severely low self-esteem, reach out to a trained professional for guidance and therapy. You can live your life to the fullest and truly have faith in yourself.
[Read: How to empower and take care of yourself as a woman]
If you display these signs of low self-esteem in a woman, you can grow and gain more confidence. Or if you recognize these signs in a woman you know, a kind gesture or just a simple compliment will help.
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28 signs of a woman with low self-esteem
adequate self-esteem, female self-esteem, woman with low self-esteem, low self-esteem, signs of low self-esteem, self-esteem
There is a simple test to understand if a woman has low self-esteem or not. Everything is very simple.
If the word “fool” is written on the fence, then a woman with adequate self-esteem will not even think that it can be written about her (even if it is written about her). And a woman with low self-esteem will suddenly begin to worry that this is about her, and she can also immediately begin to defend herself, to prove to everyone that she is not a fool.
A woman with low self-esteem takes everything personally. Of course, all the most unpleasant. I had a case, in some article some madam wrote me a comment, they say, they gave the floor to stupid housewives, you know. She wrote this about me, of course, who else is a dumb housewife if not me. I sometimes save such things and insert them into other articles with tags for fun. So, in another post on a difficult topic, I put such a tag, along with other “answers” from the outside world for a stupid housewife, that is, me, preventing a stream of objections.
And what do you think, one woman began to resent, they say, this is how you treat us, we are stupid housewives for you! And this is a clear example of a response from a woman with low self-esteem. Out of the blue, take offense and take everything personally. By the way, when I told her what this tag was really about, she didn't say anything. Well, it was predictable.
A woman with low self-esteem takes everything personally. Absolutely seriously. Yes, the lower the self-esteem, the worse and with humor. Sometimes it’s even scary to joke - people will take personally what is not about them at all.
How a woman with low self-esteem behaves
Let's go over the main signs of a woman with low self-esteem.
1. She takes everything personally. Any word on the fence. They discuss fat ones - it seems to her that this is a stone in her garden. Talk about fools - she thinks it's about her.
2. She is too serious and does not understand jokes. Generally. It's downright a disaster.
3. She makes excuses all the time, even where she shouldn't make excuses.
4. She is very often ashamed and uncomfortable even where she shouldn't be. For example, when you need to express your desires or what is painful.
5. She is very concerned about the opinions of others, she wants to please everyone, to please, not to upset anyone.
6. Criticism is experienced very painfully because she immediately believes in it. They told her that she was fat - she was running to lose weight, even if it was superfluous.
7. She takes care of herself last, if at all. Most often, she waits for someone to take care of her, but she waits in silence. And if they don't care, they don't deserve it. And he's trying to earn it.
8. All the problems in her life, in her opinion, because she is bad. She is to blame for everything. No, she does not take responsibility, she is simply guilty, and she reproaches herself very much for this.
9. She does not give herself the right to make mistakes, and is ready to eat herself on the spot, if God forbid.
10. She is always trying to prove something to someone. For example, she dresses in such a way that everyone can see that she has a good figure, otherwise they will think that her legs are crooked.
11. She doesn't give herself any rights or indulgences at all. She believes that she must be perfect, and only then can she love and accept herself.
12. She is very cruel to herself, her body, desires and everything else. Like a fascist.
13. It seems to her that everyone and everywhere discusses her, condemns her, that everyone cares about her.
14. She considers herself worse than others.
15. She considers herself much better than others.
16. She doesn't know how to say "no" to other people. She doesn't feel comfortable hurting them.
17. In general, she is often afraid of offending others, but completely forgets that she offends herself.
18. Very afraid of being different from others, especially outwardly.
19. She very often does not do what she wants, because "what will people say."
20. Always find something to be offended with, in any situation, with any person.
21. Doesn't know how to accept compliments - come on, why are you mocking me!
22. The most common response to "thank you" is "nothing" or "nothing special." Even if it wasn't easy for her.
23. Believes that love must be earned. Long and difficult. And it is unlikely that anyone can really love her.
24. She never does something just for herself. She will even buy beautiful underwear for herself only for her husband. Not for myself.
25. She can be in a relationship for years, where it is hard and painful for her, but she will not even try to change something in them, to voice them. Will suffer and endure.
26. She allows other people to treat her badly. Both close and not so close.
27. She constantly compares herself with others - most often not in her favor. This one is taller, this one is younger, this one is slimmer.
28. She does not know what she wants at all, and whether she has the right to want.
Did you find signs in yourself? It's time to fix it!
What can this lead to?
Woman with low self-esteem:
🍒 unable to feel happy and satisfied
🍒 attracts the same attitude - without respect, with disdain
🍒 tends to be a victim and creates such situations
🍒 passes the same inheritance to his daughter
🍒inculcates contempt for women in sons
🍒 often becomes the horse everyone rides
🍒 cannot realize himself and his talents
🍒 will not be happy in family relationships
🍒 and next to her, others cannot be happy either.
Self-assessment is something to work on immediately as soon as a problem is discovered.
Olga Valyaeva - valyaeva.ru
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How does a woman with low self-esteem behave? | Psychology
It happens that in different areas we feel differently. For example, a woman can easily be confident in herself as a specialist, and then the professional part of her self-esteem will be high. But this does not mean that she will be confident in herself as a woman.
Women's self-esteem is an inner feeling of their value and attractiveness to the opposite sex. A woman with adequate self-esteem is not afraid of male attention, feels worthy of love and respect. The attitude towards oneself as a woman is also strongly influenced by attitudes regarding love, relationships, female and male. For example, many people have the belief that "To love means to suffer and sacrifice." Is it possible to treat yourself with respect with such an attitude?
If we do not believe that we are worthy of male attention, that the woman of us is “not very good”, then we will behave accordingly. For example:
1. A woman with low self-esteem does not know how and cannot accept help, gifts and simply male attention. Somewhere inside, she does not believe that she deserves to be loved just like that. Therefore, she is lost or looking for a catch when compliments are given to her or they try to get to know each other.
2. Low self-esteem keeps whispering to a woman that she is “not very good”, that she should agree to the relationship that is offered to her. Who knows, maybe she won't be able to attract anyone else? And as long as she thinks so, that's exactly what she will get: few people are attracted to an insecure woman. As a result, she does not consider herself in the right to choose a man and often finds herself in relationships with those from whom it is better to stay away.
3. Another indicator of low self-esteem is the inability to speak directly and out loud about one's desires. And this applies not only to help or gifts. Even if a man honestly tries to make her feel good, asks what she wants, then such a woman speaks in riddles or avoids answering. The partner each time has to pull her desires out of her with claws, and sooner or later such games will tire any adequate man. But this state of affairs will completely suit someone who is not interested in her desires.
A woman with low self-esteem is afraid to “frighten off” a man, she thinks that she will be loved only if she adapts to other people's desires, if she is comfortable and does not want something for herself. Unconsciously, she believes that love must be earned, and if she is herself, then she will be abandoned. In a relationship, these attitudes force women to make any concessions, as long as the man is there, so long as we are not abandoned. And this is the best way to be where we are not appreciated and respected.
4. This implies another sign of low female self-esteem: she is not respected by those around her. The people around us reflect the level of our self-esteem. How you value yourself is how others will react to you. Remember your feelings from different people: there are those who get nasty - well, the tongue does not turn. And there are those who are drawn to kick. What does it depend on? From self-esteem. If a person feels inner dignity, if he loves and respects himself, he will not allow himself to be rude. He will not associate with those who are disrespectful, will not tolerate this.
5. Our self-esteem is reflected in how we treat other women. A woman with low self-esteem compares herself to others all the time and often sees all around competitors. If deep down you know that no one else has such a set of qualities as you, then you will not compete. You have your advantages, the other lady has hers. And each will be attractive to those who appreciate precisely its features. If you, for example, are tall, then those men who love tall people will be attracted to you. That's all.
But if a woman sees every other lady as a rival, it shows that deep down she feels neither unique nor valuable. She compares herself to others all the time. And it doesn't matter if it loses in comparison or wins. Indeed, in this case, her attitude towards herself constantly depends on those who were nearby.
What hinders self-esteem? Fear of being bad, fear of seeming selfish, fear of being abandoned. We feel that if we love and respect ourselves, then someone may not like it, that they will stop loving us. I will not lie and say that everything will be fine. Yes, indeed, there will be people who will not be satisfied with this. What does "egoist" mean? This is a person who is not convenient for others. The one who thinks with his own head, the one who cannot be controlled. And for some people, this state of affairs will seem very disadvantageous. Do you need to have such people around you?
Many of us have a fear that if we begin to demand respect for ourselves, if we begin to love and protect ourselves, then we will become bad.