How to be more social as an introvert
12 Ways to Be More Social, Starting Now
Not a fan of huge crowds or being the center of attention? Do you recharge best when you spend time alone? Would you classify yourself as reflective, a good listener, and someone who prefers to observe a social setting before diving into it? Hey there, introvert.
First, let us just acknowledge: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with how you’re naturally wired. In fact, you may not even be sure of where you fit along the personality spectrum of introvert vs. extrovert these days, in which case this break down should help. Honestly, most people describe themselves as somewhere in the middle.
Still, whether you see yourself as an introvert or you're just looking to be more social in general—after all, making new friends as an adult can be daunting for anyone—there are plenty of ways to do so. Here's where to start.
“The more people embrace their right to be who they are and take pride in who they are, the more successful they become in the world of job interviews, dating and parties, because they are now negotiating those spaces on their own terms,” says Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking and co-author of Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids. Cain adds that it’s important for introverts to engage in group activities from a place of self-acceptance and not from a place of “I’m an introvert, but I should be more social.”
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Jenn Granneman, proud introvert and founder of IntrovertDear.com—an online community and content platform for introverts—totally gets this. “Like many introverts, I tend to have a lot of ideas running through my mind at any given moment, but I didn’t say them out loud, because I worried about finding the exact right words, or what other people would think,” says Granneman, who also wrote The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World.
“The more confident I became in myself as a person, the better I got at expressing my thoughts, and the less I worried about the ‘right’ way to socialize. When you’re comfortable in your own skin, people will notice and like you, even if you’re not the superstar of the group,” she says.
“No one expects you to talk all the time,” Granneman says. “Follow the conversation and when something occurs to you, say it without much fuss.” Then feel free to get your hush on again.
3. Step outside your comfort zone, then refuel.Referencing personality psychologist and Cambridge University professor Dr. Brian Little for this tip, Cain recommends introverts identify the people and projects they care about and stretch themselves socially in the service of those things.
“Every once in a while, say yes when you want to say no,” urges Granneman, pairing this with challenging fellow introverts to ask themselves what they would do if fear wasn’t a factor.
“You never know when you might meet someone special or make a memory,” says Granneman, who also co-hosts The Introvert, Dear Podcast.
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Afterwards, the key is to give yourself what Little calls a “restorative niche.” That is, a space to recharge yourself after an activity that takes a toll. For example: Let’s say you’re going to a party and you know that’s going to be draining. Maybe the next morning you schedule a solo walk, or plan to stay inside catching up on the latest romance novel. Feel entitled to give yourself those moments and nourish the introverted part of you, Cain says. “One of the great benefits of that is it gives you more energy and the ability to be present when you are out—because you’re doing it from a place of feeling comfortable with who you are.”
Plan conversation starters ahead of time.Try to think of topics you might want to discuss before your next wedding or networking event and reframe your perspective on your role there. Cain suggests introverts take on the job of making the other person feel comfortable (while knowing that almost nobody is confident in a room full of strangers).
Cain likens it to public speaking. “The most terrified orators are scared because they’re assuming the audience will judge them” says Cain. “Shift your focus to ‘What can I give to the audience? Maybe not everybody will want what I have to give, but maybe there’s one person in the audience whose life or work will be changed by I share,’ and focus on that,” she says.
5. Try to befriend an extrovert at work.As you may know, opposites tend to attract. That’s why introverts and extroverts are often drawn to each other as partners, friends and even colleagues.
Use this to your advantage by making sure you have at least one coworker that’s plugged into office chatter and can keep you informed on after-hours events, advises Cain.
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“But, be strategic about which ones you go to because if you approach all of them you’re going to end up feeling burnt out,” says Cain. Pick the ones you think you’ll most enjoy or give you a boost professionally.
6. Go to work functions and leave early.Once you’re at those office shindigs, walk in with the freedom of knowing it’s okay to leave early. “You get a lot of points for showing up and people don’t really mind if you make your gracious exit,” says Cain, adding they probably won’t even notice most of the time. People are just usually happy you went, so don’t sweat it if you’re ready to leave after a drink.
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This is an especially helpful social coping mechanism for those who struggle with shyness, which Cain describes as a kind of fear. "The way to overcome it is to expose yourself to the thing you fear in very small doses,” says Cain. And don’t forget to celebrate your progress by taking note of the small successes you have along the way, she adds.
7. Ask easy-to-answer questions and bring up topics you’re into.Start with questions that are specific and lead to something interesting, like: What's something you love to do over the weekend? What’s a project you’re working on now that you’re really excited about? And so on, Cain advises.
“The upside of taking more responsibility in social interactions is that the introvert can pick the people—and topics—that they find interesting, thus reducing the risk of becoming bored and wishing to withdraw,” says Granneman.
Ok, let’s be real. Does anyone actually enjoy small talk? It’s a polite formality you can breeze through before following any openings to take the dialogue to a richer place, according to Cain.
“One meaningful conversation can easily fill an introvert’s ‘social bucket’ and sustain them for days or even weeks,” says Granneman. “Shallow small talk not only leaves introverts mentally and physically drained, but it does little to satisfy our need to connect deeply and authentically.” So, take a chance and ask a bold open-ended question or peel back the mask of your own pleasantries to reveal an honest struggle, passion or dream.
9. Think you're "awkward?" Try filming yourself.You may have just cringed at this idea, but hear us out. Just two to three minutes of recording yourself in an environment you seek to grow in, running potential lines for a job interview or just chatting with a friend about a topic that really interests you, can provide a world of useful feedback for you to work with, says Cain.
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“The first thing you'll probably discover is that you're a lot less awkward than you think,” says Cain. The second thing you may come to find is there are easy changes you can make—like adjusting your hand movements or being a little less choppy in your conversations—to appear less uncomfortable, she says.
10. Become what you behold.Dr. Laurie Helgoe, clinical psychologist and author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength encourages introverts to use their observational skills to notice what social behaviors they would like to emulate. Introverts can practice these skills in low-stakes settings to warm up, says Helgoe. Mirror said attributes at close family gatherings (unless those trigger stress) or during time with peers you have established relationships with.
You can even ask loved ones for feedback and make adjustments from there, too.
“We can’t predict how others will respond to us, so developing a tolerance for rejection creates social resilience,” says Helgoe. Instead of waiting to shed awkwardness, get used to it, Helgoe adds .
12. The more present you are, the less awkward you’ll feel.Summing it all up, the biggest thing you can do with all of these tools, as an introvert, is alter your thinking, says Cain. She emboldens introverts to just be fully present in whatever conversation they’re in, “By which I mean you’re really there, you’re attuned, you’re paying attention, you want to hear what the other person has to say,” she says, adding that the more you get into that mindset, the less awkward you naturally are going to be.
“Keep in mind that no two introverts are exactly the same.
Some pass for talkative extroverts, while others are slow to warm up when meeting new people. Some experience shyness and social anxiety, while others do not,” says Granneman. “No matter what type of person you are, there’s no wrong way to be—so please cherry pick from these tips and do what works for you.”
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Stephanie L. King
Stephanie L. King has had an obsession with words since she was seven and chronicled her life in a red and blue Bugs Bunny diary. She’s a poet who wrote for The Wall Street Journal and The Patriot News in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, before transitioning careers to become an English Language Arts teacher to talented urban middle schoolers. She’s also the brand new mom to a baby girl named Ella Grace and considers the sweetest fruit of her life her husband, Lionel. The reason for the slob on her pants? Her English bulldog, Ice.
She lives in New Jersey, where she’s grateful for parking—but she will always be a New Yorker at heart.
This content is imported from OpenWeb. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
20 Tips to be More Social as an Introvert (With Examples)
What do you do if socializing exhausts you? What if your introversion makes you shy or socially anxious? Here’s how to meet people if you’re an introvert.
The advice in this guide is geared toward adult introverts (20’s and up). From one introvert to another – let’s get to it!
1. Find a reason to go out that excites you
Asking an introvert to go out with the sole purpose of socializing is like asking a fish to run a marathon. Why would we do that? But if you have a compelling reason to socialize, it can be more fun.
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Think of the things you enjoy doing. Try hobbies that have meetups like board games, billiards, yoga, or crafting.
Or sports you like to play that meet for weekly games. Or you could volunteer with an environmental group or the food bank.
Do something you enjoy that will give you easy conversation openers and a whole new circle of potential friends. It also takes some of the pain out of socializing when you have a reason to be there.
2. Prepare some small talk questions
“Preparedness is the ultimate confidence builder.” – Vince Lombardi
Okay, so you hate small talk. I hated small talk, too. It’s annoying and pointless, but actually, not really. It’s the warm-up everyone needs to find out more about each other before we dive into the more profound questions like, “If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?”
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When you meet someone new, think of a few opening questions to get to know them better. Things like:
What do you do for a living?
What do you like about your job?
What are you taking in school?
Why did you choose {insert subject} to study?
If they don’t like their job/school, how about, “What do you do for fun?” When you show interest in others by asking about them, you’ll gradually start breaking down the barrier that keeps you in the “small talk zone”.
3. Let people get to know you
People want to get to know you, rather than only talk about themselves. Think of a few things you’ve been doing or things you’ve seen that you can talk about with others.
It can be books you’ve read, shows you’ve binge-watched, a car you’ve restored, or a project you’re working on.
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Doing this gives the other person a glimpse into your life, and in the process, you’ll both see if you have any mutual interests or values. If you do, the conversation will take off on the topics you both like.
Ultimately, you want to balance your conversation by learning an equal amount about your conversation partner and sharing about yourself.
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4. Go out even when you don’t feel like it
First: it’s never going to be as bad as you think.
Second: you can’t improve your social skills at home alone.
Remind yourself that you can do things even when you don’t feel like it. In fact, it’s when we push ourselves that we grow the most as people.
5. Remind yourself of your good qualities
What are some good traits you have? Things like: “I’m pretty funny when I relax.” “I’m kind and loyal.” Those are great qualities in a friend. Reminding yourself of this can help you see yourself in a more positive and realistic light. And that can make you more motivated to meet other people.[1]
6. Take baby steps
Take small steps every day, and make sure to keep it up. Try talking to the grocery store clerk, the waitress, or the guy in line at the coffee shop. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it.
7. Recharge before you socialize
You’ve got a big social event coming up. The annual office holiday party, the neighborhood New Year’s party. A concert with a bunch of friends and their friends.
Before you go, take the time to recharge your internal batteries. Introverts need quality alone time to feel rested and strong. So get centered first, then go out.
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8. Set realistic and specific socializing goals
If you want to improve your social skills, give yourself goals to meet – every day, week, month, and year.
It takes time. The trick is to be consistent, keep trying, and you’ll see progress.
One study looked at people who want to be somewhat more extroverted. The most successful group in the study was the one where the participants set up specific goals.[2]
Before going to a party, tell yourself you are going to make conversation with five people. Once you’ve done that, you’re OK to go.
Read more on how to be more social.
9. Look for places you can take a break
Socializing can be exhausting for introverts. When you get to an event, scan it for a place you can rest alone between interactions.
Doing this will make sure you don’t become tired too early and want to dip out before you meet your social quota. Sound a bit hyper-vigilant? That’s OK. It’s a process, and we want to make it as easy as possible.
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Is there a patio or a chair in the kitchen where you can retreat? Maybe a room somewhere off the main event. You might need a few minutes to recharge, and that’s your base.
10. Express your personality
In school, we all wanted to blend in and be part of the crowd. As an adult, you want to make choices about how you portray yourself. Why? Because it’s easier to attract people like you if you are open about who you are.
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Think about what you wear and what it says about you.
I’ve found that when someone wears a unique shirt, cool shoes, or brings a funky bag, it’s a great conversation opener. Dress in a way that says something about you and tells people (if they ask) where you got it if there’s a story behind it or why you like it.
11. Comment on something someone else is wearing
The same premise as above, we’re just reversing the roles.
You notice someone has those cool Vans you want to get. Or a sweater that looks so soft you could use it as a throw.
They are simple conversation openers, said with genuine appreciation, that will make who you’re talking to feel good. Then follow up with a question about where they got them and if you have something similar. Maybe you have a story about it from your life.
12. Try making conversation even if you feel shy
It’s entirely normal for 50%[3][4] of the population to feel mildly terrified to talk to someone new. Especially if it’s an intimidating or extroverted person. Those first few days in college or at work are full of new people and lots of first conversations. It can be overwhelming.
Sometimes you’re so overstimulated your mind goes blank, and you can’t come up with anything to say. OK, time to regroup. Focus on what they are saying; paraphrase it in your mind and then ask them a sincere question about it. This will focus your mind on the other person and not what your mind/body/anxiety is doing, which can take your attention away from the conversation.
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13. Say something rather than nothing
Ever notice how the extroverts of the world seem to say anything, and it goes over well like there was never any doubt it would? Socially savvy people typically aren’t that self-conscious. As a result, they don’t try to be perfect. They believe, regardless of what happens, they will still be liked and accepted.
Start small, with people you know a little bit. Dare to say what you think, crack a joke, or be the first to tell a story. It may not always go over perfectly, but that’s OK. It doesn’t have to. Practice the mindset that it’s better to make a mistake than not saying anything at all. When you’re comfortable doing this around people you know, try it out on new people.
14. Give yourself a job at the party
If you’re at a party and feel like you’re just standing around looking awkward, GO TO THE KITCHEN. See if the host/hostess needs help with the food, drinks, decorations, or the seating plan. Chat with the people there as you work. You’ll have your hosts appreciation, and you can then segue naturally into the party’s main room, bringing a few of the other helpers with you.
15. Get a job that increases your social skills
One of the best things an introvert can do is get a job that pushes their social boundaries. Even though it’s work, it’s also where you have opportunities to socialize with strangers. Sound scary? It is, but you’ll learn fast, you’ll be better at connecting with people with time, and you’ll become more confident.
What are the best jobs that will grow your social skills? Retail will have you speaking to the public regularly as you help them make their purchases, work with the other staff, and have a boss that you need to support and follow.
Other great ones are waitress/waiter, bartender, sports coach, and tutor.
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16. Keep up your existing friendships
As we move through our teens, 20s, and 30s, our friend groups tend to evolve. That can be because we change, or they do, or it’s just a matter of distance and not maintaining the connection.
If you just haven’t kept in touch, but you still love talking to your best friend from grade school, make sure to pick up the phone a couple of times a month to say hello, text a funny message, or send a video. It’s easier to maintain a long-term friendship than revive a lapsed one.
17. Fill your emotional bucket with regular, deep conversations
As you move through these different stages where you are meeting and making new friends, it can be unsettling and lonely. Make sure to keep strong ties to the people (old friends or family) who you can have in-depth conversations with. This will give you a port in the harbor and stave off those lonely, anxious feelings, which can make it hard for us to connect with others.
18. Allow yourself to leave after 20 minutes
You’ve been at the party for 20 minutes. It felt like an hour, but that’s OK. You helped out the hostess. You chatted with the guy next to you about his hockey jersey. But most importantly, you reached the 20-minute point, and you didn’t turn and run prior. If you’re not feeling better about the whole thing now or you can’t see staying another 20 minutes, permit yourself to leave. That was your goal. Next time, make the time limit 30 minutes.
19. Step back and be boring
You’re in the home stretch now. You’ve been at the party for over an hour. You’ve snacked at the buffet table, talked to 10 people, and joined two group conversations. You’re ready to crash. Your friend wants to stay, though. (Oh. God. Why.)
I used to feel like I had to perform and try to be entertaining when I was socializing. That made social events extra draining. Realize that no one expects you to perform, except you.
You can take breaks and sit back and listen to the group conversations around you. You don’t have to contribute, just don’t zone out. Participate in the discussions by following them and giving non-verbal cues like nodding and uh-huh’s. You need a break, take it. Or go for a walk to the patio and get a breath of fresh air/alone time.
20. Know that being introverted, shy, or having social anxiety is common
In our extrovert-loving culture, it can be tempting to feel bad about being an introvert – Don’t. We’re great listeners. We give thoughtful and measured responses. We’re often the best leaders because we think before we speak and take the time to understand our staff.
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Have a look at the book “Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain. It’s a compelling look at why introverts, one-third of the population, are essential to society. (This is not an affiliate link. I recommend the book because I think it’s good.)
You might like to read these introvert quotes to see how common introversion is.
Here are our book recommendations for introverts.
Show references +
References
- Anthony, M Martin, Swinson, Richard P. (2008). The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook Second Edition, Oakland, CA
- Hudson, N. W., & Fraley, R. C. (2015). Volitional personality trait change: Can people choose to change their personality traits?. Journal of personality and social psychology, 109(3), 490.
- Carducci, B., Zimbardo, P. G. (1995).
The Cost Of Shyness. Retrieved December 11, 2019, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199511/the-cost-shyness. - Bressert, S. (2016). Facts About Shyness. Retrieved December 11, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/lib/facts-about-shyness/.
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4 tips on how to become more confident in communication as an introvert
August 15, 2020Life
Look for people with similar interests, learn to listen carefully and do not try to pretend to be an extrovert.
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01. Practice Public Speaking
Of course speaking and just talking to someone are two different things.
But some skills do overlap. For example, in both cases, you need to be able to tell a story and listen to others. Both there and there it is important to get rid of parasitic words and awkward pauses.
These skills are well developed in speaking clubs, which can be joined for free or for a nominal fee. Participants there train together, do exercises and make short speeches on given topics. At such meetings, a relaxed friendly atmosphere reigns, and therefore it is much easier to overcome the fear of public speaking.
If there is nothing like this near you, try to work out with friends. Agree to prepare short speeches on a topic, and then arrange discussions. After that, ordinary communication will no longer scare you.
Try it 😎
- 20 tips to improve your public speaking
2. Don't try to pretend to be an extrovert
Don't think people won't like you just because you're an introvert. And that you definitely need to be more outgoing or open in order for your friends to like you.
There is nothing wrong with laconicism and restraint. And it's perfectly normal not to want to hang out every night.
Remember that your goal is to become a better version of yourself, not a completely different person.
If you imitate the behavior of extroverts, you will simply get tired and not enjoy socializing. Appreciate your own qualities and use them. Be sincere - this will really endear you to people.
3. Learn to listen to your interlocutor
Communication skills are not only the ability to speak, but also the ability to listen. And the second is often even more important. People are always primarily interested in themselves and their hobbies. If you know how to listen, they will want to talk to you, because you can give the interlocutor what he needs. In addition, when you listen carefully, you involuntarily pay attention to social signals.
And the main part of success in communication is just the ability to react and respond appropriately.
To become a good listener (and therefore a pleasant conversationalist), do not interrupt people and do not immediately try to insert your opinion. Don't think about what you can say yourself. Let the other person speak, ask questions, show real interest. This way you will understand better who you are talking to.
Find out 🤔
- 13 tips for becoming a good conversationalist
4. Look for people with common interests
Going to a meeting solely for the purpose of making new acquaintances is quite difficult for you: you will have to painfully look for something in common with those present, but it may not be found. And when you initially have joint interests, the chance to make friends is much higher.
Think about what interests you. Maybe you love some kind of sport, cinema, foreign languages, or old cars. Look for meetups or themed events. Then it will be really interesting for you to communicate with people and you will more easily find common ground with them.
Read also 🧐
- 13 signs that you are an introvert, even if you do not know about it
- How an extrovert and an introvert get along together
- How to survive at a party if you are an introvert
7 habits that will turn any introvert into a master of communication / Sudo Null IT News
Hello! I'm Sasha, Exness Global Learning & Development Manager.
I have been working on the topic of adult development for more than 10 years. My focus is on the growth of new leaders.
In this article, I share practical observations on how an introvert can quickly learn how to manage a team.
“Which would you rather jump out of an airplane without a parachute or be at a dinner party table with a stranger? If you chose the first answer, don't despair. You are far from alone." Larry King
Every second IT introvert, having received a managerial role, admits that it is difficult for him to interact with the team.
A leadership position involves a significant amount of communication, meetings and dialogues. Without this, it is extremely difficult to lead people along.
A manager who is not used to communicating with people usually experiences the following difficulties:
- Avoids communication and often ignores leadership functions as such. He does not fill the activity with meaning, sets tasks without a complete picture, does not share feedback, and gratitude to the team is given to him with difficulty. He squeezes out kind words drop by drop, like from a pipette, when HR presses him with his procedures.
- Feels empty in the evenings. Communication is energetically costly, impotence is felt from injustice: people are not a code, it is impossible to predict the consequences and build linear connections. Banally annoying. We have to restrain direct reactions. Gradually, fatigue accumulates as a consequence of socially expected behavior. The wife could support, instead she hangs on her elbow and curses life.
Or, at the very least, wants to communicate. - One on one with deceived expectations. The team moves at the speed of the slowest player and doesn't always perform well. There is indignation at how much the perception of the speed of work is changing from the positions of an expert and a manager. There is a growing sense of helplessness as you can't turn back time and just work hard again.
So, intuitive attempts to change the situation lead to the fact that the manager is an introvert:
- Starts reading , and a lot. However, he cannot turn knowledge into a skill, he theorizes. Finds thousands of reasons not to use tools.
- Suffering in management training groups. He wants to get knowledge in the “lemma / lemma / conclusion” format, and not look for an individual approach. He wants simplicity and predictability in the actions of people.
- Observes the leader: finds a worthy role model among the environment and tries to adopt the details of behavior.
It comes out awkwardly. The image of the ideal leader begins to seem so out of reach that there is a desire to give up instead of looking for your individual style. Moreover, the newly minted leader does not always realize that he is creating an idol for himself.
It is difficult for an adult to change. Immunity to change comes to the fore (Rejection of Change, Keegan/Lahey). Even though we recognize the need for change, we prefer to keep the habit rather than develop a new skill. Since any change requires effort, we stumble upon the fear of not being ourselves anymore.
Therefore, it is necessary to move in small steps, forming light rituals that will subsequently bring noticeable improvements.
There are seven proven good habits that will help you communicate with your team:
1. Become an observer. Explore your team like a NatGeo explorer. Be interested in your guys as individuals: find out about hobbies, plans, mood, weekends and vacation plans.
Show your interest, get in return the interest that has arisen in you. The better you know the characteristics of your people, the easier it is for you to manage through interaction.
2. Expand the usual horizons of conversations. Be proactive in conversation. Make a list of safe questions to start with. Eliminate the "how are you" question: it cuts off the path to real communication. Be specific: ‘What do you think about drones?’; find out: “Where were you on the weekend?”; discuss the latest news. Let a colleague really say something, and not brush off the answer “fine”.
3. Look people in the eye. Raise your eyes from the screen during a conversation, practice direct gaze. Avoid smartphones and laptops in meetings. Eye contact has tremendous power. It is he who forms the impression of a person, captures attention. A number of cognitive processes are activated in the brain, as a signal is received about the interaction with another person.
4.
Find your emotional outlet. Our reactions are physics. When educating a different format of behavior, it is important to throw off the accumulated, rejected. This is especially true for the manifestation of vivid emotions, expression in interaction. Learn self-control, but leave a place to relax alone with yourself: sports, games, songs or 10 minutes of silence - to each his own.
5. Tell stories to children. Replace reading with retelling. Small children give lightning-fast feedback on the plot and style, keep you on your toes and attention: “There has already been about the wolf, there is no need to repeat it.” This habit allows you to develop in a safe environment the important skill of storytelling, the formation of a key thought in a conversation and the ability to respond to the feedback of the interlocutor.
6. Get to know yourself. Try to identify topics that are close and pleasant to you, analyze your own way of thinking. Start to form your working circle of communication - with whom it is easier for you to spend time.
Find a couple of colleagues with whom you enjoy interacting. No need to forcefully push yourself out of your communication comfort zone. Let the habit form first.
7. Develop empathy - the ability to recognize the feelings of another and respond correctly to his emotions. This skill will inspire the team and lead people along. First, teach yourself to understand your own emotions. You can listen to the body - the heartbeat, breathing and muscle tension will help you become aware of the condition. Voice the emotions you are experiencing: “Proud of your project”, “Outraged by the undermining of delivery times”. By naming your feelings, you provoke the other to share theirs.
The material is based on the observations of one ambivert (a person who has the character traits of an introvert and an extrovert at the same time), confirmed in his own practice and in the research of neurophysiologists.
Decided to delve into the topic?
— View: The Power of the Introvert by Susan Cain
- Listen: Expert Networking for Introverts with Karen Wickre
Read: How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere by Larry King.
