How to soul search

Soul Searching: What It Really Means & How To Do It Right

What "soul searching" really means.

Soul searching is the process of figuring out your purpose, your motivations, and what may need to change in your life in order to live in greater alignment with your true self. It often occurs as a result of feeling out of touch with yourself, or like something is missing.

As psychiatrist and author of Fulfilled: How the Science of Spirituality Can Help You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life Anna Yusim, M.D., tells mbg, the soul is the deepest part of yourself that connects you to spirit, the universe, and divinity.

"By connecting to your soul, you get answers to questions in your life, and you get insights that neither your mind nor your heart can give you," she explains, adding, "It's really about your destiny path—and the voice of the soul is your intuition."


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The purpose of soul searching.

As Thérèse Cator, embodiment practitioner and founder of Embodied Black Girl tells mbg, soul searching often arises from an inquiry, whether it's a broad question around your overall purpose or something more focused, such as a difficult decision you're facing.

"I see soul searching as a threshold in our lives," Cator says. "It's a crossroad and we're trying to figure out what the right next path is, what the right next decision is, or who are we in the greater scheme of things."

And as Yusim adds, people who are soul searching typically seek to become more authentic, live in alignment with what they truly want on the deepest level, and own their truth.

Why someone may feel the need for soul searching.

There are a number of reasons someone may feel inclined to do some soul searching, and it can happen numerous times throughout their life. As Yusim explains, people soul search when they need answers, a new direction, or are seeking to understand themselves and their purpose.

As with any kind of search that has to do with psychological and spiritual advancement and development, Yusim says it's often because there's something that feels missing, or people are in some form of emotional pain. "So, soul searching is their way of regaining equilibrium or bringing back what's been missing or has not been aligned," she notes.

It's also important to factor in societal expectations around purpose and worth, Cator adds. "We're so disconnected from the rhythms of life and not taught to ask ourselves the deeper questions of 'Who am I?' and 'What's my purpose?'"

Find your mystical side with Keen's psychic insights.

How to actually soul search:


Strengthen your intuition.

According to Yusim, one of the most important things to do when soul searching is to get in touch with your intuition. To do this, she says, you must learn to quiet the "otherwise very loud voices that often speak—the voice of your mind, the voice of your heart—to hear the deeper voice of your intuition. "


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Embrace stillness.

Oftentimes we lose touch with our inner voice, intuition, higher self—whatever you want to call it—because we don't give ourselves enough time for stillness. As such, Cator says it's very important to embrace rest and build in moments of silence and stillness within your day—and ditch habits (like compulsive scrolling, for example) that keep you from being present.


Get out into nature.

Cator is also a big fan of nature for offering both inner stillness and quiet, as well as opportunities for insight. "You can go on a nature walk, but go on the walk with an inquiry," she explains.

Whatever it is you're looking to have answered, "go out and allow nature to speak to you through symbols," she adds, whether it be a certain animal that means something specific to you or even a snippet of an overheard conversation that's somehow relevant to your situation.


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Cator and Yusim both recommend meditation for soul searching, as it's an excellent way to both quiet the mind and ask for insight. Just like you can go on a nature walk with an inquiry in mind, Cator notes you can meditate on that same question.

And as Yusim adds, you need to be able to differentiate your soul from the voice of the mind and the voice of your heart—so from your emotions and your reason—and meditation is a great way to start to do so.



Writing out all of your thoughts and questions on your soul-searching journey is another good way to tap your intuition for insights. Cator recommends free-journaling without censorship, simply allowing yourself to write. Yusim is a fan of journaling too and recommends writing and reflecting on questions like:

  • What do I most deeply desire?
  • Do I desire something even more deeply than that?
  • If I allowed myself to fully live my truth, how would my life be different than it is now?
  • What stops me from living my truth?
  • What are the resistances that keep me from my best self and living the life I want?
  • If I wanted to actualize my deepest desire, what would my first step be?
  • What am I really afraid of? When does my logic most often disagree with my instinctive reaction?

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Be receptive to insights and messages.

As Cator explains, it's always a good idea to be open to messages you receive throughout your day, such as angel numbers, intuitive downloads, and other synchronicities. Keeping your eyes, ears, and mind open to messages can help you strengthen your intuition and receive answers when you least expect them.


Seek the help of like-minded friends.

It's important to remember that only you truly know what's best for you; however, if you have a group of friends that you trust and admire, and feel they can hold space for you, Cator says you can do a group meditation on your soul-searching inquiries. "You can all go into meditation together," she explains, and then share what came up for each of you.


Seek the help of a mentor.

Similarly, Yusim notes it's not a bad idea to seek the help of a mentor when soul searching. Maybe you speak with an actual mentor or teacher, a mental health professional, or a respected member of your community. You want to look for someone who has deep insight into matters of the soul and can offer you an objective perspective, she says.


Take a sabbatical.

If you're able to, Cator notes that taking a sabbatical can be a great way to step away from things for a time and reflect. While not everyone can do this on a whim, everyone deserves a vacation once in a while, as they offer us the stillness and quiet we need for our intuition to come through.

Important things to keep in mind:


Know that it's normal to soul search.

In a world that pressures us to have it all together, it can be discouraging to feel like you're "not on track." But according to Cator, we ought to normalize, and even encourage, soul searching. "It's actually really good to reexamine things every now and then, and ask, 'Is this working for me?'" she explains.

She adds that it's a natural part of the cycle of life to go through periods of rebirth, with some of us are bound to soul search multiple times in our lives. "We get to reinvent different parts of ourselves," she says, adding, "If we're doing that in the hopes of individual and collective liberation, we know we're on the right path."


Don't ignore your shadow.

According to Yusim, you can't truly soul search without acknowledging your shadow self. "It's so important to embrace your shadow side," she explains, "because we have this conception of who we are—but there are also parts of us that we disavow, aren't in touch with, and haven't owned," she explains. And if you want to have wholeness in your life, she says, you'll have to embrace those parts.


Be patient.

And last but certainly not least, try to be patient as you move through this transformation. Soul searching is certainly not a one-and-done process, and it takes time. The initial steps of your soul searching journey are only beginning to prime your subconscious for change, Yusim says, and then you have to "give it time to actually unfold."

The bottom line.

If you're going through a period of soul searching, keep going. Something deep within you is pushing you to go after the life you want—and that's a beautiful thing. While it may not happen overnight, your search will eventually bring you back to yourself, and your soul.

Soul searching: 12 steps to find direction when you're feeling lost

We all long for more connection in our lives, but we often look outside ourselves for that connection.

If you are striving for a better sense of connection and need help getting to the root of who you are, it’s time to look within and engage in soul searching.

Soul searching is the idea of taking a step back, examining your life and yourself with the aim of replenishing the soul.

Most people will “soul search” when they’re going through a rut, or experiencing negative emotions that are difficult to deal with.

But really, soul searching should be exercised regularly. After all, it’s always important to examine where you’re finding meaning in life and where your life is headed.

With a little focus and determination to get to know yourself better, you’ll get to the heart of your life and live a more fulfilled and meaningful existence.

Here are 12 tips to nourish your soul and find deeper meaning in your life

1) Examine your immediate situation.

In order to get to the heart of your life and have a more connected experience with yourself, you need to view your life through a different lens than the one that you are currently using.

Examining your immediate situation helps you discover what’s going well and where there may be room for improvement.

The key to having a better connection with yourself, however, is not to strive to make your life better, it’s to accept and appreciate the life you have right now.

Through practicing gratitude for the things you have, you’ll be able to see how much you’ve already done and accomplished and find solace in what you have been able to create in your life thus far.

Often, a search for deeper meaning is found outside of ourselves, but that lacks luster and doesn’t last long.

When you connect with yourself in a way that pays homage to what you’ve done, you’ll have plenty of evidence to contradict any negative thoughts you might have about your life while you continue to change and grow.

One of the best ways to get started with a gratitude practice is to start journaling.

Give yourself 30 minutes and think back to the last couple of years of your life and remember 10-20 things you are particularly grateful for.

When you look deeply into your life, you’ll find plenty of things that you can be appreciated for. Here are a few examples to get you started:

1) Good health. 2) Money in the bank 3) Friends 4) Having access to the internet. 5) Your parents.

Keep in mind that this is something you may want to do even weekly.

A 2003 study compared participants who kept a weekly list of things they were grateful for to participants who kept a list of things that irritated them or neautral things.

After the study, gratitude-focused participants exhibited increased well-being. The researchers concluded that “a conscious focus on blessings may have emotional and interpersonal benefits.”

The fact of the matter is this:

If you want to get nourish your soul, it’s crucial to start appreciating what you have rather than desiring things what you don’t. You’ll be a happier and better person for it.

“Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul.” – Amy Collette

2) Pay attention to your family and friends.

In order to live life with heart, and get to the heart of your life, you need to examine the relationships you currently have.

This is not an exercise in pointing fingers at other people. Instead, it is about taking ownership of your relationships from your point of view and to do the best you can with the people who are in your life.

Forgive yourself for the times you can’t do everything, be everything to everyone, and may have even let people down in the past.

Living at the heart of your life means that you let go of what holds you back and while it may seem like other people are holding you back, the truth is that it is your thoughts about those people that hold you back.

In fact, a 80-year Harvard study found that our closest relationships have a significant impact on our overall happiness in life.

So if you want to nourish your soul, keep a watchful eye on who you spend most of your time with and make the necessary changes.

Remember this quote from Jim Rohn:

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

3) What would a gifted advisor say?

The signs above and below in this article will give you a good idea of how to reconnect with your soul and find your direction in life.

Even so, it can be very worthwhile to speak to a highly intuitive person and get guidance from them.

They can answer all sorts of life questions and take away your doubts and worries.

Like, are you on the right path? Are there signs you should look to for guidance?

I recently spoke to someone from Psychic Source after going through a rough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into where my life was going, including who I was meant to be with.

I was actually blown away by how kind, compassionate and knowledgeable they were.

Click here to get your own life reading.

In this reading, a gifted advisor can tell you what’s blocking you from finding your soul purpose, and most importantly empower you to make the right decisions when it comes to your life.

4) Calibrate your career trajectory.

Working toward getting to know yourself in a meaningful way cannot be done unless you examine the work you do in the world.

Whether you volunteer your time or you make money selling used clothing on the street, there is an important journey that needs to take place to ensure you are doing the work you are meant to do, and the work you want to do.

When you can align the work you want to do and the work you are meant to do, you find peace and harmony in your life.

While the goal of your happiness and tranquility shouldn’t be rooted in your work, there’s no denying that the work you do is important.

We derive a lot of meaning from the work we do, the places we work, the people we work with and the way in which you engage with others and the products we put in the world.

A New York Times story reported on why so many people hate their jobs. Their survey discovered that employees that find meaning in their work don’t just stick around at their organization longer but report higher job satisfication and more engagement at work.

And anyway, there is no doubt that work going to be an important part of your life!

If you are working toward letting go of how work makes you feel, pay attention to what you can learn throughout that experience instead of trying to derive the meaning for the actual work you do.

Not everyone has the opportunity to do work that makes them come alive, so practicing gratitude will help you see the good in all of it.

5) Expose yourself to the natural beauty around you.

Getting to the heart of your life is about getting to the heart of the world and nowhere will you find heart than when you surround yourself with natural beauty.

Taking to the great outdoors helps connect you to source energy that we often forget is there. When you are working to align your life, you need to look at everything that is around you, but also what you can’t see.

Connecting to source energy is easy when you get out and breathe the fresh air, take in the sounds and sights of the world around you and experience ease because of where you are.

There’s no doubt that nature can make us feel more alive.

Research suggests that there’s something about nature that keeps us psychologically healthy.

According to a study on the effect of nature on the brain, nature has the unique ability to restore attention and increase creativity, which is great when you’re preparing to go soul-searching:

“If you’ve been using your brain to multitask—as most of us do most of the day—and then you set that aside and go on a walk, without all of the gadgets, you’ve let the prefrontal cortex recover…And that’s when we see these bursts in creativity, problem-solving, and feelings of well-being.

6) Carve out some me time.

In order to get to know your soul and have a better, more meaningful connection with yourself, you need to spend time with yourself.

Some people, unfortunately, don’t like to be alone and can feel the pressure to find something to do with their time every minute of the day.

But according to Sherrie Bourg Carter Psy.D. in Psychology Today, being alone allows us to replenish ourselves:

“Constantly being “on” doesn’t give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself. Being by yourself with no distractions gives you the chance to clear your mind, focus, and think more clearly. It’s an opportunity to revitalize your mind and body at the same time.”

However, what happens to us when we are left with our thoughts is that we see ourselves in ways we don’t usually acknowledge.

When there aren’t people around who can provide distractions from the things we don’t like about ourselves, we feel depressed, sad, anxious, and withdrawn from our own lives.

In order to have a better connection, though, you do need to be willing to dig in your heels and spend some time with yourself in a non-judgmental way.

7) Meet new people.

While it is important to carve out me time when you are on your soul search, it is also important that you surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you feel alive.

Choosing to be around people who are good for your soul help you feel connected to yourself and the people around you.

And when you meet new people, it ignites your soul and makes you feel alive.

In fact, according to a 2010 review of research, the effect of social ties on life span is twice as strong as that of exercising, and similar to that of quitting smoking.

It’s also important to note that if someone makes you feel poorly about yourself, you need to ask why you permit that person into your life.

Then you need to ask yourself if that person is really making you feel poorly about yourself or are you thinking that on your own?

People don’t have any power of us and the more time you spend with them, matched with time alone to process, you’ll find that to be true.

So, how can you meet new people?

Here are some easy tips to get you started:

1) Reach out to friends of friends.
2) Sign up for These are real-life meetups with people who share the same interest.
3) Make an effort with co-workers.
4) Join a local team or running clubs.
5) Join an education class.

8) Take a break from social media.

Social media will suck the soul out of you. We spend so much time on various platforms that we don’t even realize how much we are impacted by what we see in the world.

Whether news or events are being posted from your own neighbourhood or you are being bombarded with information from across the globe, social media can make you feel like you are all alone and have no hope. It’s a great tool, of course, but in small amounts.

The less time you spend on social media, the more you will have clarity about your own likes, wants, needs, desires, and life.

Cutting back on your social media will help you make unbiased decisions about where you want to go and who you want to be.

According to Dr. Lauren Hazzouri in Forbes, you don’t need to quit social media for good, but it’s important to take a break from social media every now and then:

“The reality is that it’s not all or nothing, and social media isn’t going away anytime soon. So how you use your time during a social media detox to deal with the issues offline, is key to ensuring you’re no longer triggered when you see a post online.”

9) Identify your source of energy.

We all gather our energy from different places. Some people derive meaning and energy from the people around them. Others find peace in solitude.

Whether you like a big crowd of people or you prefer the company of small groups, identifying how you bring energy into your life is an important step in reconnecting with your soul.

Some people derive their energy from meditation, reading, nature, or gratitude. Others find meaning in helping others, sleeping, or self-care.

When you are trying to reconnect with your soul, figuring out this piece of information will go a long way to help you feel whole again.

Feeling disconnected from your soul can be trying for people, but the more you work at the connection, the more impactful and meaningful it will be for you.

10) Keep learning.

One of the most important things you need to do when trying to reconnect with your soul is to keep learning.

Reading, writing, talking to people, trying new things, and of course, failure, all help you to learn to keep pushing on.

Reconnecting with your soul is not about discovering who you are, but who you are meant to be.

You can’t figure out who you are meant to be sitting on the couch watching Netflix. You need to experience the world, experience new things, struggle to overcome obstacles, and see yourself as a being of the world who has something to give.

Learning helps you see what you have to give and helps you identify ways to not only make a lasting impression on others but to live a fulfilled and enriched life while you are at it.

11) Remove internal distractions to reconnect

Trying to reconnect with your soul when you’re dealing with life’s stresses and anxieties is no easy task.

Our minds become occupied with daily worries, taking us further and further away from the connection we have with ourselves.

In this situation, you need to find a method that quietens all that noise and allows you to refocus on yourself.

But what if you find it challenging to find that time?

When I was at a time in life, completely detached from myself, I was introduced to an unusual free breathwork video created by the shaman, Rudá Iandê, which focuses on dissolving stress and boosting inner peace.

My relationship was failing, I felt tense all the time. My self-esteem and confidence hit rock bottom. My work took a hit as a result of it. In that moment, I was furthest from my soul than ever before.

I had nothing to lose, so I tried this free breathwork video, and the results were incredible.

But before we go any further, why am I telling you about this?

I’m a big believer in sharing – I want others to feel as empowered as I do. And, if it worked for me, it could help you too.

Secondly, Rudá hasn’t just created a bog-standard breathing exercise – he’s cleverly combined his many years of breathwork practice and shamanism to create this incredible flow – and it’s free to take part in.

Now, I don’t want to tell you too much because you need to experience this for yourself.

All I will say is that by the end of it, I felt energized yet relaxed. For the first time in a long time, I felt able to reconnect with myself with no distractions, internally or externally.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

12) Think about your daily you

In the end, it’s through routines that you eventually change your life for the better. Tony Robbins says it best:

“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” – Tony Robbins

Take this opportunity to think about what your daily routines look like.

How can you change your daily routine so that you can take care of your body, your mind, and your needs?

Here are all the ways you could be nourishing your soul with consistent self-love:

– Eating healthy
– Meditating daily
– Exercising regularly
– Having short-term and long-term goals
– Thanking yourself and those around you
– Sleeping properly
– Playing when you need it
– Avoiding vices and toxic influences

How many of these activities do you allow yourself?

Nourishing your soul and successfully implementing a productive “soul search” is more than just a state of mind – it’s also a series of actions and habits that you embed into your everyday life.

Sum Up

To implement a successful soul search, do these 10 things:

  1. Examine your immediate situation and be grateful: When you connect with yourself in a way that pays homage to what you’ve done, you’ll have plenty of evidence to contradict any negative thoughts you might have about your life while you continue to change and grow.
  2. Pay attention to your family and friends: t is about taking ownership of your relationships from your point of view and to do the best you can with the people who are in your life.
  3. Calibrate your career trajectory: We derive a lot of meaning from the work we do, the places we work, the people we work with and the way in which you engage with others and the products we put in the world.
  4. Expose yourself to the natural beauty around you: Connecting to source energy is easy when you get out and breathe the fresh air, take in the sounds and sights of the world around you and experience ease because of where you are.
  5. Carve out some me-time: In order to have a better connection, though, you do need to be willing to dig in your heels and spend some time with yourself in a non-judgmental way.
  6. Meet new people: Choosing to be around people who are good for your soul help you feel connected to yourself and the people around you.
  7. Take a break from social media: The less time you spend on social media, the more you will have clarity about your own likes, wants, needs, desires, and life.
  8. Identify your source of energy: When you are trying to reconnect with your soul, figuring out what gives you energy will go a long way to help you feel whole again.
  9. Keep learning: Learning helps you see what you have to give and helps you identify ways to not only make a lasting impression on others but to live a fulfilled and enriched life while you are at it.
  10. Think about your daily you: Nourishing your soul and successfully implementing a productive “soul search” is more than just a state of mind – it’s also a series of actions and habits that you embed into your everyday life.

How this one Buddhist teaching turned my life around

My lowest ebb was around 6 years ago.

I was a guy in my mid-20s who was lifting boxes all day in a warehouse. I had few satisfying relationships – with friends or women – and a monkey mind that wouldn’t shut itself off.

During that time, I lived with anxiety, insomnia and way too much useless thinking going on in my head.

My life seemed to be going nowhere. I was a ridiculously average guy and deeply unhappy to boot.

The turning point for me was when I discovered Buddhism.

By reading everything I could about Buddhism and other eastern philosophies, I finally learned how to let things go that were weighing me down, including my seemingly hopeless career prospects and disappointing personal relationships.

In many ways, Buddhism is all about letting things go. Letting go helps us break away from negative thoughts and behaviors that do not serve us, as well as loosening the grip on all our attachments.

Fast forward 6 years and I’m now the founder of Hack Spirit, one of the leading self improvement blogs on the internet.

Just to be clear: I’m not a Buddhist. I have no spiritual inclinations at all. I’m just a regular guy who turned his life around by adopting some amazing teachings from eastern philosophy.

Click here to read more about my story.

Final thoughts

We’ve covered everything you need to know about soul searching, but if you really want to find out your path in life, don’t leave it up to chance. 

Instead, speak to a real, certified gifted advisor who will give you the answers you’re searching for. 

I mentioned Psychic Source earlier, it’s one of the oldest professional services available online specializing in these issues. Their advisors are well seasoned in healing and helping people. 

When I got a reading from them, I was surprised at how knowledgeable and understanding they were. They helped me out when I needed it the most and that’s why I always recommend their services to anyone facing uncertainties in life. 

Click here to get your own professional life reading.

The Secret to a Better Life?

Hi. I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit.

I want you to know that if you’re struggling with feelings of anxiety, confusion, and frustration, it’s okay.

You see, I’ve been there too.

In my new eBook, I take you on a journey from my days as a lost 20-something hefting TVs in a warehouse to embracing Buddhism and creating the life of my dreams.

And I reveal a step-by-step process for you to transform your life in the same way…

If you’re ready to finally escape the life traps you’ve been stuck in, this eBook is what you’ve been waiting for.

Trust me, if I can use the teachings of Buddhism to brighten and empower my life, you can too.

Check out my new eBook here.


Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

How to find a "soul mate" | PSYCHOLOGIES

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This moment of meeting with the one and only. From the first seconds you experience attraction and a sense of closeness. It seems like you've known each other all your life. So the meeting of kindred souls is shown in films and TV shows that romanticize the concept of compatibility. Is this true and what is the secret of a successful relationship?

Illusion of compatibility

Some dating sites use tests to reveal the personal qualities of visitors and determine their compatibility. Using the answers to the questions, they promise to find you the perfect match.

The prospect is attractive. It's natural to want to be with someone who shares your values ​​and passions. If you are planning to start a family and have children, it is logical to look for a partner with the same goals. But are the unions of people with similar traits and interests really stronger, and are the relationships in a pair more harmonious?

Ted Hudson of the University of Texas has been watching couples for a long time. It turned out that objective indicators of compatibility do not affect happiness in marriage.

Happy couples noted that the compatibility of characters has nothing to do with it - it's all about the efforts that they make. Partners who were dissatisfied with the relationship, on the contrary, answered that compatibility is very important for marriage (they themselves do not consider themselves compatible). The researcher explains that when people say "we're not compatible," they mean "we don't get along."

The success of marriage does not depend on the similarity of partners, but on the desire to maintain relationships

This is the compatibility trap. When we are not happy in marriage, we consider ourselves incompatible, while the success of marriage does not depend on the similarity of partners, but on the desire to maintain relationships.

A striking example is arranged marriages in Eastern countries. According to international happiness studies, such marriages last longer and are happier than love unions in the West. The reason is the conscious decision of the spouses to be faithful to the promises made.

In Western society, independence is valued above all else. We want to freely choose who to be with, but if something goes wrong in a relationship, we start looking for a more suitable partner. It is at this point that the illusion of compatibility plays against us.

Partner for life

If you can't rely on compatibility tests, how do you find your soul mate? Psychology professor John Gottman found that partners who focus on something global, for example, open a joint business, stay together the longest.

The main factor determining the success of a relationship is the way of interaction in a couple. It is important how you communicate with each other, agree. We need to support each other's dreams, respect the partner and believe in his capabilities.

If you want to find the "right" person, you create your own compatibility. There is no magic formula or algorithm that would help build a happy relationship.

Having met a potential partner, try to understand whether he shares your aspirations, believes in your dreams and accepts you completely. If the answer to these questions is yes, you have found your soul mate.

About the author

Luis Valadez is a psychologist.

Text: Zhanna Omelyanenko Photo source: Getty Images

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Coincidence? I don't think! How to find your soul mate


In early July, the influential British fashion publication iD Magazine published an article about Japanese designer Akihida Nakachi, collaborating with Yohji Yamamoto and Comme des Garcons. The talented author has always gravitated toward things "invisible to the naked eye." So, the debut solo collection of the Tokyo master was a line of conceptual dresses, coats and suits that are made to be worn ... together! A hit among stylists immediately became a cobalt raincoat with pockets on the back - unattainable for the owner, but quite accessible for the one who hugs him. “These clothes make you feel the warmth of loved ones and avoid loneliness when they are not around,” the designer commented on the collection. Model Natalie Cantacuzino starred in the brand's lookbook, noting that Nakachi's clothes remind her of her favorite Swedish children's game: "You have to wear the same T-shirt or shirt with a friend and move from one place to another as quickly as possible." Both the name of the collection and the name of the game are consonant with the main social trend of recent years — the search not so much for a sexual or business partner as a kindred spirit.

Nakachi's example is just a vivid and graphic illustration of a huge social phenomenon: "Dualism is the new black. " No, we are not talking about a split personality or a podium trend for twins, but about kindred spirits - and at all "levels of being": from high-profile fashion trends to the progressive dating service Badoo, which works better than our intuition, greatly simplifying the delicate task.

What is a soul mate?

Kindred spirits are people in our lives who, from the first moments of communication, definitely “get into us”. They have a similar outlook on things, they share values ​​that are close to us. It seems that they are looking at the world through glasses of the same shade (and not necessarily pink), well, or brand.

Many of our closest friends are definitely our soul mates. But we can meet a new person at any time and in the most unexpected place. Usually at this moment something clicks in your head (or in your soul?): you catch yourself thinking that you have known each other all your life. Such relationships easily stand the test of time. These are people on whom we can rely in difficult times, with whom we are ready to share our joy and experiences. Perhaps we do not see them often (or, moreover, we communicate mostly virtually - in applications and social networks). But when we meet, we understand that time seems to have stopped and there was no separation at all.

In some spiritualistic practices (which are especially common in Eastern religions and are now actively practiced in the Western world), there is an opinion that we are talking about people we knew in past lives. Others believe that before each incarnation on earth, we choose the lessons we will learn and the people who will help us in this. That's why we feel an instant connection when we first meet such a person ("I've seen him somewhere before...").

Surprisingly, in the modern world, the role of such "guides" is taken on not by Buddhist monks or psychotherapists... but by dating services! And in this regard, hardly anyone can argue with Badoo. The mission of the company is to use the best technology to help users meet and go on a real date instead of endlessly scrolling through profiles in the application. How is it that the most popular dating app in the world (used by over 390 million people + 300 thousand every day) has replaced our intuition and unmistakably determines who is really destined for us by fate.

Signs of a soul mate, or a quick test that will quickly “stumble” on a soul mate on Badoo, or the easiest way from a like to a win-win date. Checked by the editors of ELLE: 5 out of 7 matches from the proposed list cannot be an accident.

1) Looks like us . In an interview with ELLE two years ago, the famous Russian psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky confirmed the theory of Harvard scientists that each of us thinks in certain “types” and subconsciously looks for a person who made a strong impression on us in childhood. Moreover, contrary to the stereotype, it does not have to be a father. A soul mate can be a neighbor, a cartoon character, or a favorite music artist. The dating service Badoo put the theory into practice. One of the "chips" of the company is the choice of a friend or partner according to your favorite type using the "Search for Doubles" option. The feature allows you to search for people who look like stars, your Facebook friends (an extremist organization banned in Russia), or even yourself! As psychologists would say, this is already 50% of success.

2) Shares our interests (including political and religious). What you can easily find out from the profile and photos in the profile.

3) Shows mutual respect . A soul mate may not always think the same way as you, but they will always respect your opinion, never be harshly judgmental, and be honest when necessary. Take this as a rule when you first start communication.

4) Teaches something new and helps to look at things more objectively.

5) Energy suits you . That feeling like you've known someone your whole life, even if you just met yesterday. Speaking of coincidences. As psychologists like to repeat, “if you see signs around you, then you are moving in the right direction.” Modern technology often facilitates even spiritual quests. For example, why look for a “casual acquaintance” if you can immediately calculate who exactly you will meet on your life path. And literally! And every minute of the time. Intersection points - in the Badoo application, you can always see which of the users is within the radius available to you.

6) Helps to move forward . Often, soul mates go through similar experiences, so if you are going through some hardships, there will be at least one close friend in your circle who has gone through something similar.

7) Makes your life better and lifts your spirits. Next to such a person, you can be yourself, there is no need to put on a mask or hide the truth. If only because such a person sees through you, however, just like you see him. The story about the "masks" for Badoo is fundamental. User safety and confidentiality have become the cornerstone of the company's philosophy and work. To register, you need to go through a verification system in several steps, which guarantees the absence of false Dmitriev and false Leonardo DiCaprio in the application.

8) Complements . For example, one of you may be practical, the other a dreamer; the first one grows flowers, the other one forms bouquets from them. Soulmates often go into business together as they have the extra skills and strong enough relationships to get through the ups and downs.

Finding a kindred spirit (and more than one!) is always wonderful. Spending time in their company makes you feel happy and uplifted. Even when one of you is going through hard times, you will feel comfortable in each other's presence. These kinds of relationships are golden, and we must do everything in our power to find them and cherish them carefully throughout our lives.

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