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How to help someone who is overwhelmed


Depressed and Don't Know What to Do? Try These Tips

In this Article

  • Ways to Cope With Overwhelm or Hopelessness
  • Symptoms of Feeling Overwhelmed or Helpless
  • How to Help Someone Else Who's Feeling Depressed

It's normal to feel overwhelmed, helpless, or even hopeless once in a while, especially in this demanding world. If you're feeling that way, some of the following coping mechanisms might help.

Ways to Cope With Overwhelm or Hopelessness

Different coping mechanisms work for different people. The following suggestions can help. If one doesn't work for you, consider trying a different one.

Set boundaries with work. For some people, working too much can lead to feeling overwhelmed or burned out. Set boundaries regarding how many hours you will work daily and how much work you'll take on after hours, if needed. Consider delegating job duties or tasks to your colleagues so that you can overcome feelings of overwhelm.

Try relaxation techniques. There are many ways to relax that can help you feel better. You can try:

  • Deep breathing exercises
  • Meditation
  • Visualization techniques
  • Listening to relaxing music
  • Spending time outside
  • Doing something creative
  • Eating or drinking something you enjoy

Write down your plans. If you're feeling so overwhelmed that it's hard to focus, try writing down a minute-by-minute plan for the next hour or so. For example, you can write down that for the next five minutes you will do deep breathing exercises, then for 10 minutes you will drink some tea, and so on.

Talk to someone you know. Your community, friends, and family can support you. You can also turn to other supportive people in your life, like clergy members. They can listen to you and remind you that things will get better.

Talk to a therapist or counselor.  You can try seeing a therapist or counselor. They may be able to help you change negative thought patterns or figure out how to structure your life so it leads to less overwhelm.

Call a hotline. If you feel you need to talk to someone right away but no one in your life is available, call a crisis hotline, like the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP. Someone there will pick up the phone and talk with you about whatever's bothering you.

Make a list of supportive people in your life. If you're feeling down and out, reflect on everyone you know who you could call for a chat and write down their names and phone numbers. This will make it easy for you to reach out when you're feeling low.

Have a healthy lifestyle. Making healthy lifestyle choices can improve your mental health. This can include things like eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, sleeping well, and exercising a few times a week.

Keep a journal. Some people find that writing down their thoughts and feelings in a journal helps them process their emotions. If you're stuck on what to write down, start with documenting situations that happened during your day and how they made you feel.

Reduce potentially harmful coping mechanisms. If you typically use alcohol or other substances to feel better, consider switching to healthier options instead.

Symptoms of Feeling Overwhelmed or Helpless

How do you know if you're feeling overwhelmed? Symptoms may include:

  • Feeling forgetful 
  • Getting confused easily
  • Experiencing trouble focusing
  • Racing thoughts
  • Reduced ability to solve problems
  • Negative thoughts and a pessimistic outlook 
  • Feeling low energy
  • Headaches
  • Stomach aches
  • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
  • Withdrawing from family and friends
  • Not feeling like doing activities you once enjoyed

If you experience these symptoms for two weeks or longer, they might lead to depression and affect your ability to function. If this is the case, contact your doctor or a mental health professional for help. 

How to Help Someone Else Who's Feeling Depressed

If someone you know says they are feeling overwhelmed or helpless, there are things you can do to support them. 

Be a good listener. Listening is more important than giving advice. You probably can't fix your friend or family member's problems, but you can show them that you're supportive by listening with a compassionate and empathetic ear.

Encourage them to get help. If someone has been overwhelmed for a while, they may be depressed. You can encourage them to see their doctor or seek the help of a therapist.

Be an example. Exercise regularly and make healthy lifestyle choices to show your friend or family member that a positive outlook is possible.

Set boundaries and be realistic. Set boundaries that relate to how much you can help someone and then stick to those boundaries. That will help you avoid getting burned out while helping your loved one.

Help out. When someone is feeling overwhelmed, they may find it challenging to do daily tasks. If you notice some dishes in the sink or an overflowing trash can, help out if you are able.

Pay attention. Look out for the following behaviors that might indicate suicidal ideation:

  • Talking about suicide
  • Getting their affairs in order
  • Giving away beloved objects
  • Talking about a future or world that doesn't involve them
  • Reckless behavior
  • Self-harm
  • Saying they have no reason to live
  • Talking about being a burden to others

If you think someone may attempt suicide, it's OK to ask them if they are considering it. If they are, simply listening to them without judgment can be helpful. Encourage them to get professional help or have them call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. You can also call the hotline yourself to get support.

5 Tips To Help Someone Feeling Overwhelmed and Discouraged — Mental Health Grace Alliance

This blog originally appeared on Reframing Ministries and has been updated with extra insights and information.

Learning to provide comfort and encouragement for those experiencing dark days can be challenging. We are told that the “ministry of presence” (just being there) for others is what they need... but how does that work practically?

Whether you are a church leader, parent, spouse, friend, or in any role serving others, we could all use simple tips on having a ministry of presence and comfort.

1) Be present for the growth process for new meaning and resilience vs. the fix-it breakthrough for achievement.

Supporting anyone in this journey is about patience for the process, not pushing to achieve everything in a five-, seven-or twelve-step healing, breakthrough, or “fix-it” program. Sometimes these programs are recommended as if they will fix everything, but if that’s the motive, it can sometimes be more frustrating. These specific “steps” programs are more principles for the growth and healing PROCESS; they are helpful guardrails for the journey.

“In a sense, the mental and emotional disruption is grief bridging life toward new meaning. ”

Why It’s a Process.

Mental and emotional pain (i.e., depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, constant irritability, etc.) disrupts the world we know; our sense and control of our “normal” are lost. The brain and body are activated into a “survive” and “resist” state of being (i.e., adaptation syndrome). The brain and body naturally try to learn new meanings, resilience, and growth. So, in that process, we try to make sense of the disruption and to create new predictable safety, control and adapt - to grow from it.

So, with the mental and emotional disruption, it’s natural to start having more profound questions about ourselves, God, relationships, etc. Especially in their faith experience, it can sound like doubt (even sound heretical), but it’s a journey for wisdom. In a sense, the mental and emotional disruption is grief bridging life toward new meaning.

Any disruption in our lives needs time and space for self-discovery and simple tools to manage this new journey (i.e., meaning and resilience). Being aware of this, our “ministry of presence” is providing a safe and comforting environment for them to grow and heal!

2) Be present with empowering language vs. encouraging expectations.

When looking to support them, try not to use the word “need” but instead use the word “like.” Asking the overwhelmed person, “What do you need?” or "What do you think you need to do?” can cause more stress than we think.

This type of question is usually followed up with all the “have-to’s” or “need-to-do lists,” … whether they “like” it or not. So, I often find the “need” language can reinforce the first point, a feeling to “fix it” or fix themselves, so they stop failing or eliminate their “bad emotions” (i. e., symptoms). It can subtly come across as if we’re saying …

“Work harder to get your needs fulfilled to make your pain go away … tell us what those needs are, and we will keep you accountable to see you get fixed and see your breakthrough.”

That’s not our intention, and we would never imply that! We don’t realize how that simple expression causes them more pressure, not relief. Plus, the person is so overwhelmed and discouraged they honestly may not know what they “need” (or maybe they’d be doing it).

However, it may be better to ask,

“Is there anything you would like?” or “Is there anything you would like to try that you think might be helpful?”

This type of question takes all the pressure off them being right or wrong, and empowers them to be back in charge of their journey. It changes the conversation from a “fix-it” (fix yourself) to now empowering them to explore what resonates with them (ultimately, their own unique needs). They may even come up with ideas from the “needs” question, but it’s coming from empowerment (discovery learning), not expectations.

Depending on how overwhelmed or discouraged they are, they may still not know what they would like. Then, you can suggest ideas to see what resonates and what they want (like) vs. a list of “need to do.” Even if they try the ideas and don’t work, it’s okay because they are exploring their strength. Then, they can try something else they “like.” The process keeps going. 

At the end of the day, “need” language comes across as expectations for success or failure; “Like” can come across as empowering them to discover what resonates with who they are and gives them the confidence to try things they can do (grow in).

3) Be present with a growth-encouragement mindset vs. a general-absolutes mindset.

We all thrive off encouragement even more, when it’s a little more specific. An “absolute encouragement mindset” is when we say, “You’re great” or “You’re so smart!” . . . “therefore, you can do this!” This is nice, but it doesn’t spur them on. Instead, use a “growth encouragement mindset” to highlight their qualities, character strengths, and, most importantly, any specific effort you see. For example,

“You’re great . . . because I can see how you’re using your relaxation tools to work down your stress and anxiety and how you’re keeping to your new routine to stay on track these days. You seem calmer, and your mood is improving. It’s an example of seeing your faith and God’s grace in action. I see you grow and change.”

Here’s why this works.

Instead of waiting for the “goal’ or “dream” to be fulfilled, celebrating the effort and process of action rewards the fact that they are headed in the right direction (their healing, new meaning, and resilience). This encouragement enhances and balances together the neurocircuitry (dopamine - associated with reward) and norepinephrine (stress for motion) to reinforce those specific efforts and say, “We’re headed in the right direction.” And this it’s the same chemistry needed for getting through other challenges (i.e., the chemistry of resilience).

The key is that we have to pause to celebrate those moments literally! The micro celebrations and encouragement that compound to the entire goal, dream, and new meaning and resilience.

God is even this way in His specific encouragement,

“For God is not unjust so as to forget the work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to all the saints." — Hebrews 6:10 (NAS)

This “growth encouragement mindset” language can help them move beyond the negative views that keep them locked up to see new potentials and abilities - moving into a new healthy self-esteem identity (fixed mindset vs. growth mindset). Overall, this type of growth encouragement empowers them to stay on their healthy track and allows them even to innovate their process for other challenges.

4) Be present to listen, learn, and guide their discovery vs. teach and track their performance.

Whether you are helping them through a curriculum or trying to be simple friend along their journey, the principle is to help guide them to discover, not teach them everything you know. This might be a little different in professional therapy or coaching, however great therapists and coaches use these principle in helping others.

Suppose you’re highly trained, skilled, and have extensive Bible knowledge for many of life's challenges, and have your own overcoming personal experience with incredible insights and tools. In that case, it’s very tempting to use the time with others to teach your great insights and productive tools, then you keep track of how they apply what you taught them (giving assignments and tracking their progress). Or it’s also tempting to use part of the time to share your own story to motivate their change — “I did it so that you can do it, too!”

This can come across to the other person as “bypassing” their pain. Not listening to serve, just listening to teach - fix.

Our knowledge and experiences are highly valid to help guide others, but it’s more helpful that we take more time to listen and celebrate what they are learning and add in our insights where needed … or when asked.

So this means learning and getting good at active listening. Listening well so that we can reflect on what they are saying (validating what they are experiencing) and then asking simple follow-up questions to help them clarify various points (helping them learn and process their solutions). Then, like above, helping them discover what they would like to try vs. what we think they need to do.

Learn from them, they will enhance what you already know.

As you help them discover what they want to try, you can OFFER and suggest simple info and productive tools, but let them own it - not perform it. Then, take more time to listen how they both succeed and fail, you’ll discover that some of the things they are learning, even spiritually, may seem basic to you, but revelatory to them - celebrate it. You can even ask them to show you (teach you) how they are applying new insights or tools that work for them (it may benefit you too). What they learn will empower more incredible growth (personal identity value) than our knowledge or experiences.

“BUT wait, what about my knowledge and experience? I know it can be encouraging for them … even be helpful?”

And it is! From my experience, coaching/mentoring others is knowing when and how to use our insights/experience to affirm where they are, what they are learning, and where they are going in their process - not as what they “need” to understand, where they “need” to be or “need” to do. If it leads to discovery, try it. If it leads to burden, pressure, hold back.

So, please share your knowledge and experiences to help them both celebrate and explore where they are and where they want to go in their journey. They may even want to try the same tools you use. It will give them a starting point but then encourage them to adapt or change it to work for them — or abandon it if it doesn’t work.

Let them ask or offer your help, try not to assert it.

In my experience, if they want to know more from your extensive knowledge and incredible journey, they will ask … and eventually will. But even then, I suggest keeping it relevant to where they are and where they are headed in their journey … not where you want them to be or should be.

5) Be present with confident comfort vs. building to a breakthrough.

Mental and emotional distress will always lend to this heartfelt need: “Crying out to God for a breakthrough.” That mental and emotional distress naturally creates a negative 3D spiritual illusion:

The illusion of a:

  1. Distant God - distance used form of correction-teaching, sanctification, punishment/discipline, or feeling abandoned for all of the above.

  2. Defeated faith - reaping “bad” for lack of faith or weak faith, and now more vulnerable to “the enemy” than God’s presence (reinforcing the first point).

  3. Despair for a breakthrough - Do more “faithfulness to God” and get more of God’s “faithfulness to us.” This works-based thinking tries to get God’s attention by doing more of what He likes to reward us with healing (it makes God's goodness seem more arbitrary).

As I mentioned above, experiencing intense mental and emotional distress, the brain is in “threat” mode to survive and resist. That stress process is causing more critical thinking to fight/survive, not a process for perspective. This ongoing challenge leads to a state of being, a complete physical experience that reinforces these spiritual illusions. Unfortunately, the negative 3D illusion is supported by some Biblical teachings (especially if their whole teaching foundation is more about being “sinners in the hands of an angry God" than being saved in the hands of a loving God).

In this case, you can ask (offer) them if they would “like” to see comforting and encouraging scriptures. Then, you can point out 1-3 scriptures and have them read aloud. Let them read and discover. Don’t turn it into you teaching them but create a dialogue that always points back to God’s comfort and grace in the now, not praying or working for it to come down from far-off heaven. Remember, don’t teach - ask them to reflect what they are noticing from the scripture (allow them to experience the Holy Spirit guiding them, not us; John 16:13).

Why this is important.

Comfort activates the brain and nervous system to release the healing hormones in the body to help reduce stress. It helps reset the nervous system to a calmer state!

This experience is often difficult and confusing for many, and I’ve written several other articles to help provide more understanding.

The Mind of Christ in Depression and Anxiety.

God’s Comfort in Depression and Anxiety.

Depression is not the sign of an Angry God.

Is Depression a sin? No!

So, what do you think? What works for you?

This is not an extensive list, just a few helpful tips. Comment below share your expanding thoughts and ideas on this topic.

Joe Padilla | The Grace Alliance

The Grace Alliance is a 501(c)3 non-profit reshaping the future of mental and emotional health in the Body of Christ through accessible and affordable (and FREE) Christ-centered mental health resources. If you’d ever like to give a donation, you can do so here. For more insights and encouragement, make sure to subscribe to our email updates, browse resources for your personal journey, your family or marriage, or your church, or explore all of our workbooks here.

How to explain to your boss that you are overworked?

Most people seem to take on too much and are overworked. But no one wants to be known as a lazy person, a slacker or a black sheep in a team. How to maintain a reputation as a hardworking employee and at the same time save energy?

What the experts say

No matter how busy you are, talking to your boss about it can be difficult. Julie Morgenstern, productivity expert and author of Never Check E-Mail in the Morning, says there are two reasons for this: you may be afraid of losing your job because of such a conversation, and in addition, you are used to reasoning like this: “I work insufficiently persistent and productive. I need to mend." Thus, you continue to engage in self-flagellation, which negatively affects your career, says Liana Davey, co-founder of 3COze Inc. and author of You First: Inspire Your Team to Grow Up, Get Along, and Get Stuff Done. “When you take on too many responsibilities for the sake of ambition or the desire to impress your superiors, you cannot cope with them. The work has to be done in a hurry or of poor quality, as a result, you may get the impression that you are an unreliable person, ”says Davey. If, in your opinion, you have been overwhelmed by an avalanche of tasks, be sure to tell your supervisor about it. Here are some tips to help you have a successful conversation.

Slightly slower

Just because you're constantly busy doesn't mean you're a bad worker. “Don't judge yourself so harshly,” says Morgenstern. “Most companies are trying to get more done in less time, so there is never enough time to get the job done.” If you show good results, but periodically ask for a delay or refuse a request, you can’t be blamed for laziness. This behavior does not harm your reputation. In fact, by saying “no” sometimes, you increase the credibility of others around you. Even if you hate to admit that you're not up to the task, Davey says, you "must do it" for the sake of the company: "If you fail to meet your obligations, you simply set your team up."

Seek advice and help

Morgenstern believes that if you are stuck in business, you will benefit from an independent opinion about your workload: "An outsider can help you cope with the problem. " Tell a close friend or colleague briefly about your projects. Ask for an assessment of the scope of the work you are doing and honestly tell you if a person can handle it alone. Ask your boss for advice or advice on how to deal with rush jobs, Davey says. Asking for help allows both of you to clarify expectations and improve your work efficiency. Let's say you say, “It takes me five hours a month to prepare a report for the finance department. Tell me how you can optimize the process? After all, the boss himself once walked this path.

Offer solutions

According to Morgenstern, in order to have a straight talk with your boss, you need the right attitude: "You are the boss's partner in helping him achieve the company's goals." She suggests that you first "outline the overall objectives of the company" to make sure you both are on the same page. Then talk about what is preventing you from doing them. Be extremely specific. For example, say, "This assignment requires a lot of data collection and takes a lot of time," or "Now I'm leading a team and focusing more on planning than daily routine. "

The second part of the conversation is of particular importance: offer three ideas on how the issue under discussion can be resolved. “Never go to your boss with a problem if you don't know how to solve it,” says Morgenstern. Suggest, for example, that you complete certain tasks quarterly instead of monthly, assign colleagues to help you on a specific project, or ask the company to hire a temporary employee to reduce the load. Your goal is to find "projects that can be rescheduled, delegated, canceled, or downsized."

Prioritize

It's extremely frustrating to get another task from your boss when you're already at your limit. “A leader often assigns work without having an idea of ​​how long it takes to complete each task,” says Davey. You need to tell what you are currently doing and ask how to prioritize. Morgenstern recommends asking your boss how much effort he thinks it takes to complete tasks and what he understands by maximum, minimum, and sufficient effort. Morgenstern believes that you should never immediately take on new obligations if you are not sure that you will be able to cope with them. Better ask: “What is the work ahead? Let me evaluate my capabilities in light of the projects I'm already involved in. Can I answer you tomorrow? Try to buy time this way.

Offer help

Even if you are overwhelmed with work, try to help colleagues as much as possible - this would be a tactful and professionally thoughtful step on your part. In Davey's opinion, what you should say to your boss is something like this: "I don't think I can handle this project without hurting the other work I have to do, but I can find time to brief the person who will be in charge." him to work." You may be willing to participate in brainstorming sessions, review draft drafts, or act as an attentive listener. “Be ready to help your colleagues,” Davey continues. Morgenstern is convinced that the little help you offer strengthens your reputation as a reliable employee focused on the success of the company.

Principles to remember

Should:
consult with a manager or colleague about how you can reduce the time it takes to complete certain tasks;
ask directly if it is possible to prioritize differently or reach a compromise solution;
be ready to come to the rescue of colleagues and help them.
Do not:
overload yourself. If you refuse someone's request or ask for a delay, this does not mean that you can be accused of laziness;
immediately take on additional obligations. Try to buy time by telling your boss that you will evaluate your current workload and give them an answer later;
to keep colleagues in the dark if the authorities do not meet you halfway. Let them know that you are drowning in work so as not to undermine their trust.

Tell it like it is

In the life of each of us sometimes there are difficult circumstances that take precedence over everything else. If you're currently going through one of these periods—your mother has been diagnosed with a serious illness or your son is having trouble at school—morgenstern says it's best to let your boss know right away. She suggests saying the following: "If I don't solve this problem, my family will experience extreme stress, which will certainly affect my performance." Be direct and act "as confident and calm as possible." Davey also thinks that you should point out the random nature of these circumstances and give a timeline for overcoming them, for example: "This kind of trouble rarely happens, but the next two weeks will be very difficult for me, so I need help." A benevolent and reasonable boss will understand and appreciate your honesty. But trying to be a hero until you burn out is far from the best solution.

Rely on colleagues

Talking to your boss about your overwork doesn't always work. If he does not want to meet you halfway, Davey recommends hinting about this to his colleagues. Even if they have nothing to help you with, they will at least know that you are working to the limit and cannot pull everything on yourself - their trust in you will remain. If your bosses are always indifferent to your workload, says Morgenstern, it's time to think about finding a new job. She believes that constantly working in emergency mode does not make sense.

Case Study #1: Offer Solutions and Feel Free to Ask for Advice

After a year as vice president of product strategy at Ceridian, a human resources software provider, Lisa Sterling was offered the position of director of human resources. Lisa planned to combine both positions, but after a few months, working on two fronts became an unbearable burden for her. She knew she needed to talk to her boss, David Osip, CEO of Ceridian, about it, but she was nervous. “I never had to go to a manager for help,” she explains. “I was afraid that he would reconsider his decision to promote me and think that this job was not up to me.”

Lisa started the conversation by saying that she knows the company's priorities. The conversation was needed to make sure she understood what David wanted from her. In addition, she provided him with a comprehensive list of projects she was currently involved in both product development and human resources. “Then I told David which areas I was successful in developing, and which projects I, on the contrary, had difficulties with,” adds Sterling.

Finally, Lisa shared her possible solutions with him. She suggested putting some organizational initiatives on the backburner, as well as postponing the release of a number of products. Another idea was to hire a director of product strategy to take over her responsibilities. The boss liked both of Lisa's suggestions. In addition, he gave her a number of valuable tips on improving leadership skills. “David said that as I climb the corporate ladder, I need to gradually move from operations management to developing my team,” says Sterling. – I realized that the scope of my duties was too wide. I needed to delegate authority to my subordinates.”

Lisa is glad that she was able to speak out. “It was like I had a vision,” she says. “If I hadn’t asked the boss for help, I would never have received his guidance.”

Case Study #2: Be direct and forthright and be ready to move on if your boss is acting recklessly

A few years ago Jeanine Trueitt worked as an HR junior for a large chain of hospitals. The organization, located on New York's Long Island, expanded its staff so rapidly each year that the HR department could barely keep up.

“I was involved in the recruitment of personnel for various positions, from entry-level to senior, in 10 institutions,” Janine recalls. “The boss also assigned me to manage a number of other projects and to handle headcount planning when it was necessary to increase the number of beds in the hospital.”

After 10 years of such hard work in the healthcare industry, Janine is on the brink of collapse. She talked to colleagues, and then asked the director for a meeting and said bluntly: “My current workload is unreasonably large. I was never afraid to openly express my opinion, but at the same time I did not want to let my colleagues down, and even more so patients.

Janine suggested that a junior staff member be hired for entry-level positions so that she could focus on strategic positions herself. In addition, she asked to be informed as soon as possible about the upcoming increase in the number of beds in the hospital. Unfortunately, none of her ideas pleased the boss, and the frustrated Jeanine again had to rely on her colleagues: “We agreed to help each other in cases where it was necessary to fill similar vacancies in one institution, this allowed us to somewhat reduce the load.” However, Jeanine continued to work to the limit, and in the end she quit.

Janine is now Director of Innovation at Talent Think Innovations, a business strategy and management consulting firm. She learned a valuable lesson from her previous work. “Headcount planning is one of the most important factors in determining the performance of your business,” she says. “If you want customers and employees to stay with you, and staff turnover to be minimal, make sure that the workload on staff is always within reason.”

About the author: Rebecca Knight is a journalist based in Boston who writes for The New York Times, USA Today, Financial Times and The Economist

Source: http://hbr-russia.ru/karera/kommunikatsii/p20371

Original articles

I've had enough: how to explain to my boss that you're overworked

I've had enough: how to explain to my boss that you're overworked | Big Ideas Communications
Article published in Harvard Business Review Russia
Rebecca Knight

Today it seems that most people take on too much: everyone complains about being overworked. How to intelligibly explain to the boss that you already have so much work, because no one wants to be known as a lazy person, a slacker or a "black sheep" in the team? How to maintain a reputation as a hardworking employee and at the same time save energy?

What they say experts

No matter how busy you are, talking to your boss about how you have to work too hard can be extremely difficult. Julie Morgenstern, expert in the field of productivity and author of the book NEVER Check E -

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HEN0124 Morning , believes that there are two reasons for this. First, you may be afraid of losing your position because of such a conversation. “Deep down you know that if you can’t do the job, someone else can do it for you. As they say, there are no irreplaceable people,” says Morgenstern. Secondly, in her opinion, we are used to reasoning like this: “I'm not working hard enough and not being productive enough. I need to mend." Thus, you continue to engage in self-flagellation, which negatively affects your career - according to Liana Davey, co-founder of

A little slower

Just because you're constantly busy at work doesn't mean you're a bad worker. “Don’t judge yourself so harshly,” says Morgenstern. “Most companies are trying to get more done in less time, so there is never enough time to get the job done.” If you show good results and periodically reject someone's request or ask for a delay, you can hardly be blamed for laziness, and besides, such behavior does not harm your reputation in any way. In fact, by saying “no” sometimes, you increase the credibility of others around you. “Bosses want subordinates to tell them about everything that prevents them from working at their maximum,” adds Morgenstern. Even if you hate to admit that you can’t cope with all the tasks assigned to you, Liana Davey says, you “must do it” for the sake of the company: “If you are completely overwhelmed by work and cannot fulfill your obligations, you simply set your team up ".

Seek advice and help

Morgenstern says that if you're stuck in business, it might be helpful to hear someone else's opinion about your workload: "An outsider can help you deal with this problem." Tell a close friend or colleague briefly about your projects and commitments. Ask him to evaluate the scope of the work you are doing and honestly answer you whether a person can handle it alone or not. Seek or consult your boss for advice on how to deal with rush workers, Davey says. Asking for help allows both of you to figure out each other's expectations and improve your work efficiency. Let's say you say, “It takes me five hours a month to prepare a report for the finance department. It suits you? Tell me how you can optimize the process? After all, the boss once walked this path himself.

Offer solutions

According to Morgenstern, in order to speak frankly with your boss about your workload, you need the right attitude: "You are the boss's partner in helping him achieve the company's goals. " She suggests that at the beginning of the conversation, “outline the overall objectives of the company” to make sure that you both share the same opinion. Then talk about what is preventing you from doing them. Be extremely specific. For example, you might say, "This assignment requires a lot of data collection and takes a lot of time," or "Now I'm leading a team and focusing more on planning than daily routine."

The second part of the conversation is of particular importance: offer three ideas on how the issue under discussion can be resolved. “Never go to your boss with a problem if you don't know how to solve it,” says Morgenstern. Suggest, for example, that you complete certain tasks quarterly instead of monthly, assign colleagues to help you on a specific project, or ask the company to hire a temporary employee to reduce the load. Your goal is to find "projects that can be rescheduled, delegated, canceled, or downsized."

Prioritize

It's extremely frustrating to get another task from your boss when you're already pushing yourself to the limit. “A leader often assigns work without having the slightest idea how long each task takes,” says Davey. You need to tell him what you are currently doing and ask: “What is of primary importance and how to prioritize?” Morgenstern recommends asking your boss how much effort he thinks you need to put in to complete certain tasks and what he understands by maximum, minimum, and sufficient effort. Morgenstern believes that you should never immediately take on new obligations if you are not sure that you will be able to cope with them. Better ask this: “What is the work ahead? Let me evaluate my capabilities in light of the projects I'm already involved in. Can I answer you tomorrow? Try to buy time this way.

Offer help

Even if you are overwhelmed with work, try to help colleagues as much as possible - this would be a tactful and professionally thoughtful step on your part. In Davey's opinion, what you should say to your boss is something like this: "I don't think I can handle this project without hurting the other work I have to do, but I can find time to brief the person who will be in charge. " him to work." You may be willing to participate in brainstorming sessions, review draft drafts, or act as an attentive listener. “Be ready to come to the aid of your colleagues,” Davey continues. Morgenstern is convinced that the little help you offer—even in the face of limited opportunities—strengthens your reputation as a reliable worker focused on the success of the company.

Tell it like it is

In the life of each of us sometimes there are difficult personal circumstances that take precedence over everything else. If you're currently going through one of these periods—your mother has been diagnosed with a serious illness or your son is having trouble at school—morgenstern says it's best to let your boss know right away. She suggests saying the following: "If I don't solve this problem, my family will experience extreme stress, which will certainly affect my performance." Be direct and act "as confident and calm as possible." Davey also thinks that you should point out the random nature of these circumstances and give a timeline for overcoming them, for example: "This kind of trouble rarely happens, but the next two weeks will be very difficult for me, so I need help.

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