How to get the spark back in a broken relationship

10 strategies on how to rekindle a relationship

Signs your relationship is broken

A sense of certainty and friendship is normal and desirable in a relationship – it’s even one of the three keys to passion. But just as there are signs of passion in a relationship, there are signs that your partnership is broken and needs to be rekindled.

You don’t trust each other

Jealousy in a relationship is never healthy – even if your partner did something to break your trust. If you’re constantly suspicious of your partner’s motives or whereabouts, you need to address your broken relationship immediately.

You don’t talk

Some couples talk more than others, but if you don’t know the basics about what’s going on in your partner’s career, friendships or family relationships, you may have some communicating to do.

You argue constantly

What if you want to talk to your partner, but it always seems to turn into an argument? Disagreements are normal, but if you never reach a resolution or let things go, it’s a sign you need to rekindle the relationship.

You don’t spend time together

It’s healthy to have separate friend groups and spend some time apart, but not more than you spend together. And if you often sleep in separate rooms, that’s a big sign it’s time to learn how to spark your relationship.

Why relationships die down

Has your relationship fizzled or has the fire died down? It’s easy to blame the natural progression of a relationship. Many couples become more friends than lovers over time, and many of them accept this as normal. But if you’re wondering how to rekindle a relationship, you’re ready for the truth: One or both of you have stopped putting in the work necessary to keep your love alive.

You may have stopped speaking to one another gently or you’ve started punishing each other for mistakes. You could also be spending too much time at work or with your friends and have drifted away from your significant other. Life changes can also be difficult to navigate for many couples. If you have recently had children, experienced a job loss or moved to a new city, the stress of the situation could take a toll on your relationship if you don’t make an effort to stay connected.

Love is a powerful emotion. That’s why we like to think that we are “meant to be” with our partner – that we won’t need to work at love because it’s something that “soulmates” just have. That’s also why we give up and move on when we don’t feel it anymore. Yet love isn’t disposable. Relationships aren’t disposable. It takes commitment, but you can rekindle a relationship.

How to rekindle a broken relationship

It doesn’t matter why you need to rekindle love. What matters is that it is possible. If you want to learn how to fix a broken relationship, whether it’s a recent romance or a long-term love affair, you need some emotional kindling. Over time, taking the following small steps in your relationship can lead to massive changes and help you bring back the spark.

1. Use your relationship polarity to your advantage

Having things in common with your partner is wonderful, but opposites also attract. This principle is called the law of polarity. Think back to when you first met your significant other. Things were easy between the two of you, and the physical chemistry proved your instant attraction. When you rekindle a relationship, remember that ease and chemistry. Nurture your own natural energy and confidence; your partner was and is attracted to you in your natural state.

Your natural energy and your partner’s energy work together to create your relationship’s chemistry. When working together in a natural, balanced way, neither of you need to suppress your true self, and you can be happy together as you are. If you find yourself in the position of fixing a relationship, you’ll probably find that one or both of you has sacrificed your true self somewhere along the way­ – and regaining this energy is vital to moving forward.

2. Be physical to help intimacy grow

When times are tough and we’re looking for how to rekindle a relationship, many of us have trouble being physical with our partner. This is especially true when sex is a contentious issue in the relationship. If you find yourself being less physical with your partner to punish them or are avoiding sex for any reason, you need to address that immediately. Fixing a relationship is nearly impossible when one or both of you are not able to show physical affection.

Affectionate physical contact, whether sexual or not, gives you the natural high your body’s hormones produce and can help you get into the right frame of mind to rekindle love. Remember to touch your partner frequently as this will help you to redevelop closeness and intimacy. Give the one you love a reassuring caress, a hug or just a squeeze of the hand that says, “I’m still here and I’m not going anywhere.” These small moments can mean a lot to your partner when you’re trying to fix a relationship.

Of course, sex is also very important in a relationship and understanding your own sexual energy – as well as that of your partner – is key to learning how to rekindle a broken relationship. If sexual intimacy is becoming less and less frequent, you need to take action now before it becomes an insurmountable problem.

3. Be curious about your partner

When you started dating your partner, you were intensely curious about them. You wanted to know what they were thinking and feeling at all times. You asked questions about their past and their future dreams. Do you still act in this manner? If not, it could be a big reason why you are now in the position of learning how to rekindle love. 

Curiosity about your partner involves asking questions and practicing deep listening when they answer. It goes beyond asking how their day went or what they’d like for dinner. Find out what they think about current events, how their new position at work makes them feel in terms of life goals and how their dreams for the future have changed. When you spark your curiosity for your partner, fixing a relationship becomes easier for both of you.

4. Innovate and give the relationship your best effort

Want to know how to rekindle a relationship? Consider that the success of your partnership works the exact same way as the success of your initial courtship. Remember what you did to win your partner over.

When you and your partner were just starting out, you showed each other your best sides. You consistently thought about ways to make your partner feel special, such as leaving them love notes or planning extravagant dates. More than anything, you were your partner’s biggest fan and they were yours. When did that stop and how did that coincide with your need to learn how to rekindle a relationship?

It’s easy to fall into comfortable habits in relationships and stop putting forth as much conscious effort, but resist taking the easy way out in your love life. Remember that committing to continually improving your relationship is one of the10 cardinal rules of love.

How happy would your partner feel today if you took a few extra minutes to remind them they are loved? Understand that your connection will continue to strengthen and deepen if you innovate andmake extraordinary efforts. Fixing a relationship almost takes care of itself when you start putting the effort from your early days into a relationship that is more mature.

5. Use your voice as a powerful tool for building intimacy

As much as physical touch and thoughtfulness are keys to a relationship, so are your words. Your words have incredible power and those who are looking for how to rekindle a relationship sometimes don’t realize that the words they’ve been using with their partner are harming them. Not only do the stories we tell ourselves define us as individuals, but our words can also build up our partner and relationship or tear them both down. In many situations, there is no “right thing” to say; you just need to be genuine. Learning how to rekindle love is one of those situations, so you must learn to communicate effectively with your partner in order to revitalize your bond.

Use heartfelt words when communicating with your partner – whether it’s about your trip to the grocery store or resolving a personal conflict. Remember to say things like “I love you,” “thank you” and “I miss you.” Said with genuine emotion, these little statements make tough times easier between the two of you, which helps you build or rebuild trust after it’s been betrayed.

Rekindle love by speaking with care and compassion and avoiding blame at all costs. When the two of you are arguing, don’t say anything in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret later. Remind yourself that this is a person you love and trust, and that your words affect them deeply. As you work together to communicate your love and respect for each other, you will find that your rekindled love is even stronger than the love you shared at the beginning of your relationship.

6. Learn how to control your emotions

When you were in high school you probably felt the world was about to end more than once because you were dealing with many situations and emotions for the first time. But as an adult, with age and experience on your side, you probably look back and laugh at your “insurmountable” problems. You learned how to master those emotions, and you can apply that same principle to how to rekindle a relationship.

Relationships are fraught with emotions – some of them may even be new to you. But you can control emotions like frustration, annoyance and anger just like any others. There is no need to be driven by your feelings or to suppress them. Allow yourself to feel them, then ask yourself what they’re telling you. Get to the root of the emotion and communicate that to your partner instead of the emotion itself.  

7. Defuse conflict with fun

When figuring out how to rekindle a relationship, never avoid conflict just because you’re afraid to work through issues. Couples who are serious about fixing a relationship know that conflict, when handled correctly, leads to growth. The key is to address the problem before it gets out of control – but find a way to make it fun instead of taxing.  

When you descend into a fight with your partner, fast forward to the laughing part. Don’t avoid the issue – soften it with humor. Try getting angry about the problem while doing a ridiculous dance or talking about it in a cartoon voice. Once you start laughing – and you will – you can learn to connect your partner to happier emotions even when there’s a conflict between the two of you. 

Fixing a broken relationship is a painful and exhausting process – even when done correctly. When you’re able to laugh with your partner and connect through humor and lightness, you can make your way through the difficult terrain together and create a truly fulfilling relationship.

8. Write it down

When attempting to rekindle love, some partners have problems communicating their feelings face to face. This could be due to fear over how their words will affect their partner, uncertainty that they will get the words right or limiting beliefs regarding their communication skills. Some just communicate better through writing, especially during the early stages of rebuilding a relationship.

Writing down your thoughts can be a good way to extend a mindful apology, work through difficult feelings or express your love and appreciation for your partner. When you’re done, you may give your partner the piece you wrote – or you may keep it to yourself. The writing is to help you understand your own feelings and find the right words to say to the one you love.

9. Set ground rules for the future

How did you reach the point where you started wondering how to spark your relationship? If you’ve had issues with trust – like keeping secrets from one another or cheating – it can be hard to get back to where you were before. While rules don’t sound romantic, they can actually help to rebuild trust and connection by defining how you will avoid a similar scenario in the future.

Set ground rules: Do you both agree to prioritize each other and the relationship before your own individual needs? What decisions will be made alone and which will be made as a couple? How will you communicate in an effective and respectful way, so that you both feel heard and understood? What are each partner’s needs, and how will the other person meet those needs? Asking yourself the right questions can rekindle a relationship in surprising ways.

10. Build a happy memory bank

Every couple faces tough times, and it’s easy to focus on negative experiences. To counteract these, build a happy memory bank that you both can reflect on when you’re struggling. Where focus goes, energy flows, and when you focus on moments of joy and connection, you relive those memories and rekindle love.To construct your memory bank, plan regular date nights and recognize special occasions. Find any reason to celebrate, even if that means celebrating for no reason at all. Create traditions that are comforting and increase your connection. Treat each other with kindness and empathy, and take any opportunity you can to build your partner up.

Learning how to rekindle a relationship is not easy – it takes time and effort to create and sustain a supportive and healthy relationship and even more time if you’re faced with fixing a broken relationship. But with time and patience, you can rebuild trust and deeply connect with your partner.

For more Tony Robbins resources to reignite the passion in your love life check out his Firewalk, YouTube, and Facebook pages.

How To Get The Spark Back In A Broken Relationship – 10 Expert Strategies

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When you are past the excitement and emotional rush of the initial stages of a relationship, reality hits and you realize that maintaining a partnership or marriage is not a walk in the park. You see each other for who you are (both the good and the bad), responsibilities increase, priorities change, fights happen, kids take over, busy work schedules, resentment creeps in, there’s little to no intimacy – everything seems broken. Amidst all of this, you are left wondering how to get the spark back in a broken relationship.

As the relationship progresses, you tend to lose the zing, the passion, and the excitement that once existed between you and your partner. However, this doesn’t mean that the love or romance that both of you shared is dead. It probably just got lost in the humdrum of daily life. You can still get your relationship back to the way it was in the beginning.

To understand how to get the chemistry back in a relationship, we spoke to counseling psychologist Namrata Sharma (Masters in Applied Psychology), who is a mental health and SRHR advocate and specializes in offering counseling for toxic relationships, trauma, grief, relationship issues, and gender-based and domestic violence.

Can A Relationship Spark Come Back?

Table of Contents

Before we get to whether or not it is possible to rekindle a broken relationship or rebuild chemistry in a relationship, let’s talk about what a spark means. According to Namrata, “A spark is the first flash of attraction you feel toward a person. There’s so much happening – looking at or touching them for the first time, making eye contact, and other cute gestures. This spark brings two people into a relationship.”

“People tend to confuse it with falling in love or being in love, which is not true. A spark is similar to the honeymoon phase that couples experience in the initial days of the relationship. It’ll last for about 6-7 months. After that, it’s all about how both partners maintain their relationship. When you grow in a relationship, there is no such thing as a continuous long-term spark”, she explains.

Can you find chemistry in a relationship again? Is it possible to rekindle the romance in a long-term relationship or get your relationship back to the way it was in the beginning? Yes, it is definitely possible. Namrata explains, “If there is no chemistry at all, the relationship will die. Sparks are those pumps of air that your body gets so that you can breathe again. Even in long-term marriages, you might always feel the spark. You might find sparks or chemistry in your relationship here and there. But if you can’t feel it in the little things you do, then the relationship will not last.

“You don’t suddenly fall out of love with someone unless you have faced a traumatic incident or some kind of abuse or violence in the relationship. However, if partners have become distant over the years due to responsibilities, attachment patterns, or other reasons, but still want to be together, then they can definitely work toward bringing the spark back in their relationship.” Therefore, don’t lose hope. Read on to know how you can rekindle a broken relationship.

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How To Get The Spark Back In A Broken Relationship?

When your partner and you started dating, there were sparks flying everywhere. You couldn’t take your eyes off or keep your hands off each other, would never run out of things to talk about, had date nights, enjoyed romantic candlelight dinners, etc. You never imagined that there would come a day when starting a conversation with your partner would seem like a task because there’s nothing to talk about or physical intimacy would feel like a thing of the past.

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But the day has come. You probably feel that conflict, misunderstanding, resentment, or uncomfortable silences have taken over your relationship, which used to thrive and be filled with happiness at one point. The spark is gone. But don’t lose hope. You can bring the zing back into your relationship. Marriages hit a rough patch at some point but that doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the road.

You can rebuild chemistry in a relationship. You can get your relationship back to the way it was in the beginning. It is possible to rekindle the romance in a long-term relationship and fall in love all over again. This journey begins with coming face-to-face with questions like “How to make him feel the spark again?” or “How do I rekindle a broken relationship with my girlfriend?” If your mind is clouded by such thoughts, allow us to help you. Here are 10 tips on how to get the spark back in a broken relationship:

Related Reading: 8 Ways To Keep Romance Alive When Living In A Joint Family

1. Communicate with each other

When was the last time you really had a meaningful conversation with your partner? When was the last time you shared your feelings and concerns with each other? Communication problems in a relationship can drive a wedge between partners, which is why it is crucial to keep the conversation going to keep the spark alive in a marriage. By communication, we don’t mean making small talk or chatting for a bit during meals or before going to bed.

Namrata says, “Get to know your partner on a deeper level. When you realize that the spark in your relationship has gone, you will also feel that there has been a layer of misunderstandings and a lot of masking on behalf of both you and your partner. This is when both partners need to peel those layers and figure out what is going on inside each other’s hearts and minds. Proper communication is a must for two partners will be able to seep inside each other’s hearts and really understand the root cause of their problems.”

Communicate to understand your partner better, see things from their point of view, listen to what they have to say, express your feelings, validate each other, and build an intimate and emotional connection with them. Be honest with each other. There will be disagreements and arguments, but learn to find an amicable solution to those problems. Both partners cannot always be on the same page, which is why you must learn to agree to disagree. Make each other feel heard and respected.

2. Foster physical touch and sexual intimacy

Building physical or sexual intimacy is a crucial tip on how to get the spark back in a broken relationship. A huge part of a relationship involves being physically attracted to and intimate with each other. Sex or physical touch (hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc.) has the power to bring couples closer physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Work toward rebuilding the physical closeness that you once shared with your partner. If you are not able to do it naturally or spontaneously, schedule it. If the sex isn’t great for either of the partners, explore how you can make it better and strengthen your sexual and, eventually, emotional bond.

Namrata says, “Sexual activities play a huge role in bringing the spark back in a relationship. Imagine how you would feel if you were having sex with your partner for the last time. That way, the sex is going to be passionate, wild, and loving. Teasing each other, making out, racing your fingers in each other’s hair, holding hands, or just keeping it romantic with certain gestures go a long way to rekindle a broken relationship.”

3. How to get the spark back in a broken relationship? Reminisce old times

Recall the time when you had just started dating and what brought you together in the first place. Talk about the qualities that attracted you to each other. Reminisce old memories, feelings, funny stories, and all the stuff you did together in the initial days of dating or courtship.

Talk about the behavior or characteristics in your partner that turned you on then and continues to today. It will help you connect and figure out why you fell in love with each other and what has changed since then. It will also help you see each other in a new light.

Namrata advises, “When you’re with each other, you tend to discuss and reminisce old times about how you got into a relationship, what was the first thing that attracted you to each other, and other memories that you created in all these years. Revive the activities that you did when you first met. Visit the places that you would frequent in the initial days of dating. It might just bring back lost feelings and emotions.”

Here are a few tips on how to get the spark back in your relationship

4. Spend quality time with each other

Spending quality time with each other is one of the best tips on how to get the chemistry back in a relationship. Plan a romantic date night, surprise each other, flirt more often, and do stuff that you once enjoyed doing together. Avoid talking about kids and work.

Instead, talk about the things you love about each other or your interests, hobbies, friends – anything that helps you reconnect. Show your love through thoughtful gestures like buying your partner their favorite book or flowers or that piece of jewelry they’ve wanted to buy for a long time.

Namrata explains, “Spend at least one hour of quality time with your partner every day. Go out for a walk or have breakfast together and talk about little, random things. Keep your phone and other distractions away. Just be with each other. When it’s just the two of you, you can look into each other’s eyes and talk, and observe a lot of new things about each other.”

Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest In The Relationship

5. Check in with each other every day

Checking in on each other a few times throughout the day is a great way to get the chemistry back in a relationship. By checking in, we don’t mean bombarding them with messages. Just a couple of messages in the day to let your partner know that you are thinking about them go a long way to rekindle the romance in a long-term relationship. “I miss you”, “Thinking about you”, or “I hope you’re having a good day” – messages like these are good enough to let your partner know that they’re important and cared for.

Namrata explains, “Checking in with your partner every day might seem like a small step but it will show your partner that you care and are involved in their life. There is a huge need for love, compassion, and care if you want to rekindle the spark or get your relationship back to the way it was in the beginning.”

6. Seek help

If you feel things between your partner and you have gone worse or you are unable to figure out how to get the spark back in a broken relationship, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Talk to a relationship or marriage counselor to get things back on track. A professional will be able to see things from an unbiased lens and offer you a fresh perspective on your relationship dynamic.

By helping you identify problematic patterns and empowering you with tools to effect change, they will be able to help you find chemistry in a relationship again. If you’re stuck in a similar situation and looking for help, Bonobology’s panel of licensed and experienced therapists is only a click away.

7. How to get the chemistry back in a relationship? Learn each other’s love language

According to Dr. Chapman, a love language is a person’s way of showing and receiving love, be it through gifts, words of affirmation, spending quality time with each other, acts of service, or physical touch. Every person has a different way of giving and receiving love. Partners must understand and learn each other’s love language if they want to rebuild chemistry in a relationship.

A relationship only grows and gets better when you understand your partner in the way they want to be understood. You can build a deeper emotional connection with your partner when you express your love to them in a way that resonates the most with them. Look up Dr. Chapman’s five love languages and talk to each other about it. Figure out each other’s love language and make a conscious effort to express yourself in the manner your partner prefers to receive love.

8. Appreciate and support each other

This is again a crucial tip on how to get the spark back in a broken relationship, according to Namrata. At times, partners get so used to each other that they begin to take the relationship for granted. In the process, they forget to appreciate the efforts of or show support to their better halves. If that’s the case with your relationship too, we suggest you make a conscious effort to let your partner know that you appreciate everything they do for you and that you will always have their back.

Words are powerful, and sometimes, they’re all you need to get the chemistry back in a relationship. Show gratitude, appreciate each other’s presence, and say “I love you” or “Thank you” whenever you get the chance. Sometimes, that’s all your partner needs to hear to be assured of your love, appreciation, and support in whatever they do for you. Make it a daily practice to appreciate and support your partner.

Namrata explains, “Appreciate each other whenever you get the chance because, if you don’t, a lot of your emotions or efforts go unseen. Telling your partner that you are proud of them or taking them out for a meal will show them that you appreciate their efforts and everything that they do for you.”

9. Be a good listener

“How to make him feel the spark again?” “How to get the chemistry back in a relationship with my girlfriend?” Well, how about you begin by trying to be a good listener? Listening is a skill you need to cultivate if you want to find chemistry in a relationship again.

Be attentive to your partner’s feelings, desires, and needs. Make eye contact and listen to what your partner has to say. If they want to share their thoughts and feelings with you, it’s probably important to them, which is why you must give them your undivided attention. If you want your partner to attentively listen to you, so do they.

Namrata says, “One of the reasons the spark dies in relationships is that partners begin to take each other for granted. People tend to stop paying attention to what their partners are saying or feeling because they believe they know everything about them. They start ignoring their partners, causing the relationship to eventually die. The partner begins to feel that their friends or colleagues listen to them better and slowly checks out of the relationship. To prevent this from happening, learn to be a good listener.”

Related Reading: Why Is It Important To Be A Good Listener?

10. Enjoy your independent lives

In the process of trying to figure out how to get the spark back in a broken relationship, don’t forget to enjoy your own life. You have a life and priorities outside of the relationship. Don’t neglect them. Spend time with friends and family, travel, practice your favorite hobbies, learn a new skill, focus on your career and fitness goals – do everything that makes you happy. Your relationship is a part of your life, not your whole life. So, don’t forget to live it to the fullest.

Namrata says, “Enjoy your lives independently. Live a fulfilling life on your own terms. Learn to be happy on your own. It will help bring the romance back. Let’s say you’ve gone on a solo trip or a vacation with your friends or are just away from home for a while, or maybe your partner is away, you are happy for them but you miss them too. This is what makes meeting them after a certain period special. Distance does make the heart grow fonder.”

Key Pointers

  • Relationships tend to lose their spark over time, but don’t lose hope because it is possible to rekindle the romance in a long-term relationship
  • Proper communication, appreciating each other’s efforts, and showing support are a few tips on how to get the chemistry back in a relationship
  • Spend quality time with each other, listen attentively to your partner’s thoughts and feelings, and recall those good old memories if you want to rebuild chemistry in a relationship
  • Learning each other’s love language and, at the same time, enjoying your own independent lives is also of extreme importance
  • Seek professional help if your equation with your significant other has become worse over time

According to Namrata, “You can rekindle a broken relationship because there is a huge chance that partners might still want to make amends. Just because they’re hurt at the moment does not mean that they have lost all feelings for each other. Before you figure out how to get the spark back in a broken relationship, sort yourself out mentally. If you need time, take a break. If there are major issues, talk and sort them out to prevent them from cropping up in the future. Decide whether you want to give the relationship a second chance before doing anything.”

Bringing the spark back or keeping the romance alive in a broken relationship is difficult but not impossible if both partners still love each other and want to make it work. It takes time, patience, motivation, and a lot of effort to build a healthy relationship that can survive all the storms partners go through. But if you can come out of it stronger, then it’s all worth it. If you regain each other’s love and trust and can build a deeper connection, then the effort is worth it. So, don’t give up. We hope the above tips help you rekindle the romance in your relationship.


1. How do you know if the spark is gone?

There are several signs to understand if the spark in your relationship is gone. Lack of sexual intimacy, no interest in spending time together, minimal to non-existent communication, getting annoyed with your partner easily, no more date nights, and lack of effort to make the relationship work are a few signs to watch out for.

2. Can a relationship with no chemistry last?

No long-term relationship can maintain the same chemistry that existed when a couple began dating. However, a complete lack of it is a sign of an unstable relationship. It mostly depends on the couple. If they still want to make the relationship work, then it is possible to rebuild chemistry. If not, it is best to part ways. 

3. Is it possible to rekindle a dead relationship?

More often than not, it is difficult to rekindle the romance in a dead relationship. But if both partners still love each other, it is worth trying. With the right kind of help, it is possible to heal a broken relationship. If partners can resolve and move past their differences, change negative behavior patterns, and make a conscious effort to understand each other, rekindling a dead relationship might just be possible. It’s a lot of effort and hard work though.

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25 ways to rekindle the spark in a relationship. And don't get burned

Some people think that a decrease in intensity of feelings is a "normal" component of love. We are against such a statement.

If you have a desire for fairy-tale romance, then you can kindle a real flame from the fading fire of love. And it's much easier than you think.

But this, in turn, will require you to rethink, dedication and willingness to give everything to achieve the goal. Try to be honest with yourself, have fun and never stop believing in true love.

If you do everything right, you will never have to choose between passion and eternal love. You will have one and the other.

After nine years of marriage, I still find my husband an attractive man. Every day I remind myself of the moment when I fell in love with him at first sight.

We all want to love forever, but at the same time we pay very little attention to the little things that at first glance seem insignificant. Our advice for those who want to revive their love and return the old feelings.

It is not easy to be in love and maintain relationships. If you feel like your love is slowly fading away, try to revive it and get the relationship back on track. How to do it?

Send Sexgrams

If you only use your phone for swearing and messages with a list of things to buy or do, it's time to dilute your SMS with sexual content.

Write to him about what you would do with him right now or send your nude photos. Remind yourself of what your relationship was like in the beginning.

And the sound of incoming SMS is no longer “Oh my God, what else did I do wrong there?” turns into “Oh, my kitty has come up with something again!”

Every day, do at least one small thing from his list of worries. Take out the trash or vacuum the carpet, and you'll be surprised how a normal routine can become part of a sexual foreplay.

These little things are the best aphrodisiac.

Tell him daily that you love him

We often assume that they already know this. However, these words can be a real balm for your partner's soul.

After the death of my first husband, I realized that I would not live a single day without telling my dear person how much he was dear to me. If you don't say it, you can't be sure that he knows how much you appreciate him.

Be grateful for what they do

Don't take everything they do for you for granted. Often in a routine, we get used to believing that each of you has things that you simply must do.

Start noticing all the good things your partner does, even if it's just everyday things.

Say "thank you" for the smallest things, and you will see how your relationship will become more trusting and tender.

Don't go to bed in a quarrel

Conciliatory sex will obviously do you good. Otherwise, in the morning you will meet with the same negative emotions.

There is a good saying: "Sometimes it's better to be happy than to be right." Be happy friends!

Spend the weekend naked

You can forget what it's like to be sexy. To sharpen the sensations in your body, give up clothes for a couple of days.

Of course, if you plan to leave the house, you should get dressed. But do not forget to get naked again as soon as you cross the threshold of the house.

Cancel the bans

Perhaps your clothing size is no longer XS, as it was 10 years ago when you first met. But, nevertheless, you are still that hot girl, in whose eyes the fire burns.

They stop seeing you as a sexy woman as soon as you stop seeing yourself as such. If you show sexy, they see sexy, not extra 10-12 kilos.

Be open to experimentation

You must be open to experimentation and new things if you want to rekindle the passion in your relationship. All kinds of online stores are at your service, where you can order any spicy little thing for experiments in your bedroom.

Oral sex is like a bouquet of flowers

Sometimes it's important to do something just for the other person, whether you're in the mood or not. If you don't want to have sex because you had a bad day, don't dismiss their needs.

Be spontaneous

Groundhog day life sucks!

If you want to rekindle love, add some adventure and fun to your routine.

Show up at his job to steal for the day. Book tickets to a concert of his favorite band.

Do new and exciting things to make your relationship new and exciting.

Go and pinch her ass

She could talk 20 or 80 times about how she hates it when you do that, but can that be true?

Every girl dreams of a playful guy who is still crazy about how her butt looks.

Don't be afraid of rejection

Someone has to make the first move. Don't stop touching, being yourself, or being playful out of fear that your partner won't support you.

Figure out what's real and what's important

You don't know how they feel until you ask. Sometimes we think for our partner because we ourselves are not in the best of feelings.

Don't make any assumptions about how they feel if they don't tell you.

Revisit and hang up your old photos

Pictures are a great way to remind you of who you were before chaos and disorder settled in your relationship.

Make each other a priority again

It's easy to stop feeling loved when you feel like you're last on someone's list.

Make your partner your number one. They will do the same for you. Loving someone means making your partner the center of your life and happiness.

Try to find in yourself the one he once fell in love with

Instead of focusing on how to rekindle love in a relationship, rekindle love for yourself. Everything will start with her.

A little novelty never hurts

Never stop being mischievous and a little playful.

Laugh more

Without laughter it is difficult to find happiness in life or feel love for each other. Spend more time mixing each other up.

Stop overacting and promise yourself to move forward

Stop blaming your partner. Whatever happened in the past, leave it in the past.

If you keep dusting off the things that hurt you, you will never get back to the love you felt at the beginning of the relationship.

Have sex during the day

Sex doesn't have to be at night and in bed. At any time you can find a place for quick sex.

Be as creative and crazy as if you just met each other.

Spend Sunday in bed and naked

When was the last time you shut yourself off from the world and just hugged each other in bed? It's time to revive the good traditions of those times!

Pay attention to his actions

Don't listen to what they say, but watch what they do.

It's not just about the bedroom

Stirring up passion in a relationship is not just about sex. It's about effective communication, care and support.

Become a reliable alliance and support for each other

Again, do not take each other for granted. Make sure your partner also thinks that even your kids come second. Not to mention friends.

You should be each other's priority, because that's where it all starts.

Team Growth Phase, Growth Phase


How to light a spark in a relationship: 9 steps In other words - how to return the old feelings? Is it possible?

Humanity has written an unimaginable number of novels and scientific treatises on this subject, about the same number of films have been shot, and even millions of instructive anecdotes have been composed. And yet, the topic is still relevant. And why? Yes, because the relationship between a woman and a man is very important. This, one might say, is the foundation of all foundations. And if they have deteriorated, if a man and a woman are at odds with each other, then, one can say, the world begins to collapse.

That's why it's necessary to establish such relationships. But how to do it in modern life?


  1. We communicate with each other
  2. Make pleasant surprises
  3. We make each other compliments
  4. We support each other in difficult everyday moments
  5. We are more diverse than
  6. by friend
  7. Learning to forgive and not offend each other

Communicating with each other

That's all? Yes. By the way, most couples break up sooner or later precisely because they have nothing to talk about with each other. Those topics that they talked about earlier are tired and have lost their relevance, and there are no new ones. And if there are no new topics for conversation, then, accordingly, there are no common interests. And there are no common interests - it makes no sense to live further under one roof.

Actually, of course, there are always common themes if you wish. But for this you need to live not your own life, but, above all, the life of your partner. How is he (she) doing at work, what does he (she) think about this or that, what is his (her) mental and physical well-being, how best to solve this or that problem, did he (she) like this or that a TV show or a movie (it is clear that for this you need to watch them together)? That's how many topics, but this is just offhand. And if you delve into this current list?

In general, we communicate with each other - as often as possible and on various issues and topics. And then there will be no boredom in the relationship. And if so, then none of the partners will want to seek communication on the side.

Making pleasant surprises for each other

This is not about buying any gifts (although, of course, they are always a surprise). The surprises in question can be different, and in the sense of money, they are worthless. They have a different price, which is not measured in money. Here are just a few offhand examples.

  1. Call your woman (your man) when you are apart - just like that, with no apparent cause, and say: "I love you." Or: "I miss you." Or: “I feel lonely and bad without you.” Or, "How do you feel?" Or - something else like that. Just a few short words, and what a storm of feelings they will cause in a partner! There are words that never get boring and that you want to hear as often as possible.
  2. Invite your partner (partner) to go somewhere after work - to a cafe, to the theater, or just take a walk along the embankment. Of course, due to fatigue, the other half may refuse, but there is no doubt that she will remember and appreciate such a gesture.
  3. Buy something for your significant other. Even - if such a purchase was not intended. Remember Shukshin's story "Boots"? In it, the wife sent her husband to the city so that he could buy some small things needed in the household. And he saw beautiful women's boots in the city store, and instead of household items he bought them, having spent all the money. And - he returned home not with frying pans and saucepans, but with boots for his wife. They turned out to be too small for her, and as a result, the eldest daughter got it, but on the other hand - what a spark in the relationship between the spouses flared up! And it already seemed to them that it had faded away forever. That's what it means - a surprise for the other half! And it's not about boots, but ... Nothing. Good. It is with these words that the story ends.

We compliment each other

It would seem - what a trifle! Just a few words spoken to each other! So it is, but only a compliment is not just words. This is, first of all, a sign of attention to each other. And yet - an underlying desire to get closer to each other - in all respects. Let's agree: if one person is indifferent to another, he will never compliment him. What for?

So we say these few trifling words to each other. We pay attention to each other. We try to show that we really want and it is extremely important to be with each other as close as possible.

Of course, compliments must contain at least a grain of truth. Otherwise, they are gross flattery, and flattery is a lie, and a lie is always an insult.

We support each other in difficult everyday moments

Alas, life presents such moments every now and then. It can be an illness, failure at work, lack of money, a housing problem, relationships with children, and much more. And in each case, a person who has fallen into everyday trouble needs the help of another person. A kind word, sincere participation, help in business - all this is extremely important in cramped everyday circumstances.

And it is especially important if such assistance is provided by the closest person. This speaks volumes. After the hardships endured, overcome together, the relationship of two people will definitely become closer, and often even reach a new, unprecedented level.

We try to make everyday life more diverse

It is not so easy to do this, because routine and everyday life - stick and overcome. Yes, and forces for some variety is not always enough. And often money too. However, you must try your best. There are many ways to do this if you think about it. Here are just a few of them.

  1. We take a vacation at the same time and go to rest. And it is not necessary to go to the sea coast or to distant countries. You can relax and escape from the routine in other ways. For example, on the nearest lake. Or - wandering through the forest. Or - by taking a horse ride around the neighborhood (if possible).
  2. A good option is to go to the village and rent a house or room there for a while, and live for some time as village anchorites. The village with its special rhythm of life, silence and morals is the same medicine for the soul, and it helps very well to ignite that very spark. By the way, many novels and stories have been written on this topic and many films have been shot. So it's true.
  3. Why not have a party at home? And it is not at all necessary to wait for some date for this, but simply - at any time and at the call of the soul?
  4. Sometimes, for a change and in search of new experiences, it's not a sin to "break away" in a cafe or a nightclub (regardless of modern realities).
  5. What if for a while you stop watching TV with its evil shows, scary news and never-ending serials? And also - turn off all gadgets for a while? And - instead of all this disgrace, review the good old favorite films or concerts (they are easy to find on the Internet). For example, those to which a man and a woman went together when they were still very young, and only dreamed of a life together. Oh, how many feelings such films will cause, and how they will bring together! A happy past - it always brings together.

Thinking about the diversity of intimate life

And, of course, we try to embody this diversity. Due to the sensitivity of the topic, we will not expand on it. Let's just say that in many cases it brings together, causes mutual interest and attraction, and, therefore, ignites a spark in a relationship.

Physical contacts are very important

This is not only about intimate relationships (although they are also). But - this concept is much broader and more diverse. For example, just hugs and kisses. Or even - light, fleeting touches to each other. Why not walk down the street and hold hands while doing it? And at the same time, one should not be shy about ridicule and all sorts of jokes, such as that, they say, a man and a woman are walking, who have been together for many years, and they are like newlyweds: they hold each other’s hands, and even hug. Most of these conversations and jokes are out of envy.

In general, it has long been proven that physical contacts between people, whatever they may be, perfectly relieve stress, improve mood and well-being, and, of course, bring people together in every sense. Especially if some kind of crisis happened in life or troubles overcame.

So let's hug and hold hands. And, thus, kindle a spark, from which, as you know, a flame will surely flare up.

We miss each other

Rather, we give our partner this opportunity. And let him also do this in relation to his half. Everything is simple here. Often the spark in a relationship flares up with renewed vigor when a man and a woman begin to yearn for each other.

And this requires separation. Of course, for some time, not forever. And preferably, by mutual agreement - so that there are no misunderstandings, resentments and reproaches later.

Sometimes it is very useful to look at each other and at the relationship with each other from afar. Yes, yes, the big is seen from a distance - this is just the case. And how much can be seen from afar! And even more - understand! Often, it is separation that brings two people together the most, so that when they meet again, they will no longer allow the spark in their relationship to go out.

Learning to forgive and not offend each other

This is the very skill that should be learned throughout life.

  1. We do not reproach each other for past grievances and misunderstandings. They are a passed stage of life. Moreover, if the partner realized his mistake, asked for forgiveness and corrected himself.
  2. We learn not to offend each other. The most common reason for mutual insults is inattention to each other. Therefore, we will always be attentive to one another. We will try to anticipate the desires, thoughts and feelings of our other half.
  3. And, of course, we learn to ask forgiveness from each other. The main thing is to do it sincerely. Nobody is immune from mistakes. Of course, if this is really a mistake, and not some malicious act such as treason, drunkenness, tyranny.

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