How to accept an apology when you are still mad

It is difficult to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. And, the truth is, you don’t have to accept every apology you get. 

For example, when a friend ghosts you, you don’t have to forgive them right away. 

After all, forgiveness that isn’t genuine isn’t forgiveness at all.

Instead of just automatically accepting every apology, take the time to listen to the person apologizing and decide whether you can really move on. 

If you think you will be able to forgive one day, but aren’t ready to accept an apology yet, tell the person who has wronged you that while you appreciate the “sorry,” you need more time to work through things.  

In any situation that involves confrontation, it is important to be as clear as you possibly can. After all, words can get twisted and misconstrued. 

If you are still too hurt to an accept an apology, state your position as concisely as possible.

Tell the person apologizing to you that you can’t forgive them yet. You are still hurt. You need more time. 

This message is sure to be understood.  

Even though you may not be able to accept an apology yet, it doesn’t hurt to thank the apologizer for saying sorry. You could even tell them you needed to hear it. 

Don’t shy away from an honest assessment of how you feel about what went down. If you’re hurt, let the person who hurt you know.   

You may feel that you need time before you’re ready to forgive. If so, tell the person apologizing to you that you need some space before you commit to trying to repair your relationship.

The tricky thing about the people who hurt us is that that they are usually people we are close to. After all, you have to be close to someone to feel betrayed by them. 

This means that we sometimes find ourselves hating someone’s behavior even though we still love them. 

You may want to show compassion for someone who has hurt you because you still care about them. If so, tell them you understand how difficult it must have been for them to apologize and thank them for taking the time to talk.  

That said, just because you can understand what they must be feeling, doesn’t mean you have to invalidate your own feelings by agreeing to forgive them. Instead, tell them that you aren’t ready to move on and will get in touch when you are. 

Sometimes words are not enough. What’s that expression? Oh yes, talk is cheap. 

If the person who hurt you is good at saying all the right things but then consistently fails to change their behavior, tell them actions speak louder than words. 

When they apologize, let them know that you can’t forgive them until their actions show you that they mean what they say. 

If someone apologizes to you and you are still hurt, you have a few choices. 

One is to tell them that you are not over what happened, but that you are willing to try to work through things.  

By agreeing to try to move on you are not signing away your right to feel sad or angry about what happened, you’re simply indicating that you would like to find a way to work through those emotions. 

No matter how hurt you are, if you love the person who has hurt you, it is worth at least showing a willingness to fix things. 

Make it clear that even though you accept their apology, you are still hurt. You are not guaranteeing them a blank slate, you are simply saying that you would like to find a way through the difficulty. 

Keep your response to an apology short and sweet. If someone apologizes and you want to move on and stop re-hashing things, then thank the person who hurt you for their apology. 

Tell them in no uncertain terms that you are still hurt but would like to move past it.  

Whether the person apologizing is an ex wanting to know how you are, your mother, or your former closest friend, as long as they are truly sorry, there is no harm in trying to move past what has happened. 

A sincere apology is a beautiful thing. 

We are all only human and we all make mistakes. If we know we’ve messed up, the best thing we can do is reflect on our behavior and then say sorry to the people we have hurt. 

If you feel that someone is truly remorseful for their actions, tell them that while you still feel betrayed, you’d like to try to work through things. 

Some people simply say sorry, while others go the extra mile to try to demonstrate that they want to make things better.

For example, if your partner has hurt you, they may buy you flowers, empty the dishwasher consistently, or cook you breakfast in bed. 

If you feel that someone is fully invested in making things up to you, you can say “I appreciate your efforts to repair things.”  

If someone feels that you appreciative of their efforts, they will be more likely to continue to try to show you just how remorseful they are. 

One of the all-time great adages in the English language is “forgive, but don’t forget.” This is a variation of the older adage “forgive and forget.”

The second phrase means to forgive and move on, as in, try not to dwell on the thing that hurt you.

The first one, on the other hand, encourages us to let people who hurt us back in our lives, so long as we remember what they did and remain wary of them in the future. 

If you want to forgive someone but also want them to know that you won’t tolerate it if they make the same mistake again, say that you will “forgive but not forget. ”

There are some offenses too egregious to be forgiven. For example, could you forgive a partner who cheated on you with your closest friend? Could you forgive someone who maliciously ruined your career prospects? 

There is such a thing as a toxic relationship and there are also toxic friends. The best thing to do if you are in a toxic situation is to cut people out of your life. 

If the person apologizing to you has done something unforgivable, let them know that you are too hurt to forgive them, and that you no longer want to have a relationship with them. 

This response is clear and to the point. 

Not only do you state why you can’t forgive the person apologizing to you, but you send a clear message that they should not contact you anymore.  

When someone apologizes, it is usually because they know they have done something wrong. 

In fact, many people who apologize aren’t sure they will be forgiven, and they have no right to expect to be. 

You should not feel bad if you cannot forgive someone. After all, they have made their bed, and now they must lie in it. 

Imagine staring at phone screen, typing and re-typing a message, trying to come up with a way to respond to a breakup text.

“How can they have thought it was okay to break up with me over text?” you wonder. 

If someone does something that callous and thinks a simple “sorry” will fix the problem, feel free to let them know that the apology does not match the crime.  

Saying that an apology doesn’t acknowledge the level of hurt you feel sends a clear message that you are not willing to engage with the person who wronged you. 

Getting hurt by someone can make us feel really small and insignificant. When we feel betrayed, we feel that we must not matter very much to the person who hurt us. 

One way to get over the feeling of being worthless that can sometime arise when we’re hurt, is to be assertive. 

Instead of accepting a lackluster apology when you are truly hurt, define your boundaries to the person apologizing and tell them you don’t want to talk to them anymore. 

Even if you believe that the person apologizing to you is sincere, that doesn’t mean you have to accept their apology. If you don’t want to talk to them anymore, tell them this. 

Let them know you appreciate their desire to fix things, but that you don’t want to smooth things over with them and would rather end your relationship here. 

Steven

Hey, it’s me, Steven. Dating and relationships have always fascinated me. On Dategosu, you will find my best tips to make sure your next date is a great success!

• Elena Savinova
• Psychologist

26 August 26, 2017

Author photo, Nikuliahin/Getty

"harder" sorry ", it seems, no word," sung in a somewhat sad lyrical song. Indeed, sometimes it is unbearably difficult to apologize. And even harder to forgive.

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Against whom are we friends?

For someone to ask for forgiveness means to humiliate themselves. Say, it's useless, because you can't fix anything anyway. For other, more frivolous people, it's child's play.

Some people think that they can do whatever they want and then apologize - and it's like nothing happened. Such people are sincerely surprised when they continue to be offended. After all, they uttered that cherished word.

Then they themselves are offended that they were not given something with the same ease with which they acted ugly. And accusations and resentments accumulate like a snowball. Although former friends no longer really remember who started it first, who owes what to whom.

I agree, the word "sorry" probably takes second place after "love" in terms of meaninglessness. Or vice versa - according to the fullness of all possible, often very contradictory, meanings. Saying "I love you" is partly about claiming, demanding, not working on the relationship anymore. And behind the words of forgiveness sometimes lies compulsion, indifference, neglect, hidden hostility.

Some resort to a false apology to lull the enemy's vigilance and deliver a sensitive blow.

Petrenko is not a pig? I apologize...

Nevertheless, the very act of forgiveness is very important in human communication. By apologizing, you say that you recognize the fallacy of your act, you regret it. And also express the hope for understanding and the possibility of continuing the relationship. Since we are all different, our ideas of "good" and "bad" are different, so the ability to apologize will allow you to avoid unnecessary insults and enemies.

It is important to remember that you are asking for, not demanding, forgiveness. Therefore, you will have to calmly accept the unwillingness to forgive you for your oversight or unpleasant behavior.

Try to apologize immediately after the incident. Find out the reasons for the strange act of your friends here and now. Do not hide or accumulate resentment in yourself, drawing in your imagination their most incredible motives.

Let go

To be able to admit one's unworthy behavior with sincere repentance is a sign of a strong and adult personality. And to be able to really sincerely "forget" someone's deceit, dishonesty, indifference towards you - the highest aerobatics.

Image copyright Unsplash

There is an opinion that being offended is more profitable than being guilty. So many people like to feel offended. Firstly, in this way they find confirmation of their own children's complexes. As if no one loves them, everyone only takes advantage of their weaknesses. As if they are not capable of anything, so you can "wipe your feet" about them.

Secondly, those who once casually or even deliberately insulted them can be manipulated to their heart's content. For years, a wife remembers some kind of guilt for her husband in order to get behavior that is beneficial for herself.

Or the more successful, smart and beautiful one always feels a little guilty towards her "ordinary" friend because she is more "lucky". Therefore, he arranges a job for her, lends money, brings gifts. But once you refuse - and the benefactor turns into a sworn enemy.

Offended by equals

So, if you have done everything possible, but they do not want to forgive you, stop trying. Before you is either a manipulator on guilt, or a collector of grievances, or a person has such a character that he leaves for a long time. Give him time and opportunity to take the first step towards you. If someone appreciates you and needs your company, they will find the strength to forgive.

However, if you are aware of your guilt, it would be dishonorable to wait until the offended person cools down on the principle "time heals everything". This is a sign of a weak-minded person who manipulates another's dependence on him.

Just as there is no need to pretend to be a superman, to whom all unpleasant words and deeds are indifferent. Therefore, resentment is also a sign of your indifference to another. And the stronger the connection between you, the more painful words and actions seem. Do not take offense at the weak and stupid.

Another thing is that the ability to forgive directly depends on self-esteem and self-confidence. The higher they are, the less vulnerable we are.

How to respond to an apology

Here is a collection of words, phrases and expressions that will help you answer when you are asked for forgiveness, apologize. Each list item is a self-sufficient (complete, complete) response text.

Recommendations for selection are waiting for you at the end of the page.

• Apologies accepted.
• Okay, I hope you learn how to express your negative feelings in a non-offensive way.
• Where's the chocolate tea? You won't be able to make amends without them!
• I hope you will do your best to prevent this from happening again. For now, I consider this topic closed.
• No need to apologize. I will remember everything for you ... at wholesale prices.
• This situation is an isolated incident in your partnership and we hope it will remain so.
• I don't hold a grudge against you, but be careful next time.
• Don't worry, everything is fine.
• I heard you. I hope your common sense doesn't fail you anymore.
• Good. Let's now decide together how we will proceed in the future in such situations, so that we both feel comfortable.
• Unfortunately, your apology does not cover the damage. Do you now have the time and willingness to discuss ways to compensate for the damage done?
• It doesn't bother me anymore, don't worry.
• Thank you for your apologies, they will help me forget the offense.
• Do you have a session of memories today, rethinking what you have done and trying to bring back the past? Not sure if I want to take part in this.
• Don't worry about it.
• I see that your apology is sincere, but my budget does not include money to buy a new item (to replace the damaged / broken one). Maybe together we can think about how to be?
• This is no longer a problem. Get it out of your head.
• I hope you will be better in the future?
• Your apology and the accompanying terrifying information will surely deprive me of sleep and appetite. If I've finished my presentation, I'll go about my business. Unlike you, I have no time to engage in chatter and torment.

• Don't worry. We all make mistakes.
• You apologize so touchingly that it would be unfair not to accept repentance from you.
• I'm sorry. But for the last time.
• Theories about what you did are interesting, but not convincing. I won't rush to apologize just yet, I need time to process what I've heard.
• It's all right. It's good that no one was hurt.
• I will not hide the fact that this still offends me. But I will try to erase the insult from my memory.
• Thank you for the explanation. I understood everything, and I am no longer angry.
• I appreciate your remorse. It will help me quickly forget the misunderstanding that has arisen. I hope this doesn't happen again in the future.
• You'd better get your missing person status back. Only this time, forever!
• Don't worry. The main thing is that everyone is alive and well.
• Thank you for taking the trouble to explain and correct yourself. Let's forget about it.
• Let's start from scratch.
• Touched by your apology, but so far your repentance does not inspire confidence. I will allow myself to immediately forget about him and return to my business.
• Don't worry. I don't hold grudges.
• No problem!
• I promise to try to excuse you.
• Of course I forgive you.
• I am glad that you found the strength to admit your mistake and apologize. I forgive, but I can't forget yet. Therefore, I do not promise that our communication will continue in the same format.
• Don't blame yourself. It's just that both of us were unlucky, the circumstances were not in our favor.
• Everything is fine, I already forgot!
• You just revealed another you to me. Now I'm even glad that this misunderstanding happened.
• These are small things. You didn't do anything terrible.
• Never mind, everything is fine.
• It's nice that you have a conscience. So I wasn't wrong about you.
• I am no longer angry.
• Would you forgive yourself?
• I am sincerely sorry that you have to apologize. It's not your fault what happened. There should be another person in your place now.
• No need to apologize. It was the result of a misunderstanding on both sides. Now we will know more about each other.
• Your worries are in vain. I'm not mad at you anymore.
• And forgive me for my intemperance. I was in a bad mood (feeling) that day, so I flared up.
• I forgive you with pleasure.
• Let's forget. Nothing could be changed there.
• Yes, today is a good day to forgive each other. I give you my forgiveness and I hope that you will be able to forget all the insults.
• I didn't take offense at you.
• I appreciate your attempt at reconciliation. I think we have reached an understanding. Let's discuss other questions now.
• Good. From that day on, it's all in the past.
• Didn't know that you could be tormented by remorse. I'll probably forgive you, but I won't be able to forget - this is not forgotten.
• Apologies accepted. And let nothing interfere with our friendship from today.
• I'll forgive you, but don't repeat this again.
• Of course, I will forgive you. Condescension to one's neighbor is one of the strengths of my character.
• Trivia. What was, is gone.
• Thank you for your remorse, it convinced me that I was dealing with a decent person.
• Okay, forget it. I can't be mad at you forever. Anything happens.
• I accept your apologies. I know that you didn't do it on purpose (without malicious intent).
• I wasn't angry. You just thought.
• I agree to reconciliation. Hopefully this experience will make us both smarter.
• You are late. Forgiveness Sunday was yesterday.
• Apology accepted. It was unpleasant for me, but I will try to forget this incident as soon as possible.
• Thank you for telling me your thoughts about your own behavior. Now I will know what you thought about in your free time.
• Not ready to accept your apology yet. Perhaps we will return to this topic later.
• God will forgive!
• I hope you really realized that you were wrong. You can consider yourself forgiven.
• Okay, let's forget the old. I'm not an angel either.
• I am pleased that our relationship is dearer to you than pride.
• I am also sorry that it all happened. I'll try to forgive you, but I can't promise anything.
• God forgives and I forgive.
• Oh, you don't even have to apologize for these trifles.
• Good. Now I would like you to solve the issue of repairing the damaged item.
• I will remember your words for years to come…
• You look like a man reading his tax return aloud… I can't refuse your forgiveness.
• How beautifully and convincingly you apologize. When I have free time, I'll think about what to do with it...
• Just don't use so many questionable substances next time and you won't have to apologize.
• I'm sorry to be rude, but I hope I never see you again in my life.
• God forgave and commanded us.
• Okay, so be it, I'm sorry. I can't watch you tormented by guilt forever.
• Why are you looking at me as if you rang the doorbell and with the New Testament in your hands began to ask if I was ready to “let Christ into my life”? Of course, I am ready to restore peace and normal relations between us.
• And are you ready to compensate me for the cost of repairing the thing (broken by you)?
• Don't waste your energy on feeling guilty. I don't know how to be angry for a long time with those I truly love.
• You even apologize as a person who has a black soul. Kindly leave me and take your place in hell.
• I think it's unforgivable to continue torturing each other, we need to hurry to be happy again. It's good that you gave us both the opportunity and apologized. Trouble in the past.
• I understand you. I hope our friendship is strong enough to survive this situation. I will try very hard to deal with resentment, let it go and forgive you.
• Okay, I'm not angry anymore. And for God's sake, get out!
• I forgive and I say goodbye. I am the best thing in your life, and you are the worst thing in mine. And I'm fed up with this toxic relationship. Leave.
• I'm also sorry when a good person is ignited by a bad idea. Let's consider that we both got an invaluable experience that does not need to be repeated.
• Thank you for being able to apologize. I appreciate it.
• I'll forgive you, but you won't get off with words alone. You still need to fix the situation (pay for the repair of the thing, buy a new one to replace the damaged one, etc.).
• What are you... I haven't had time to be offended yet, and you are already apologizing.
• I'm sorry. Everyone has the right to make a mistake, but not everyone knows how to realize it.
• Forgiveness is possible only after punishment. First, I will appoint a punishment, and then we will talk about your forgiveness. Ready to be punished?
• I consider the conflict resolved.
• Good. How soon can you fix what's broken?
• Yes, it's a pity that this happened. I need time to calm down.
• Apology accepted, but the issue of compensation remains open. I would like to resolve this issue as soon as possible - do not delay, please.
• This should be celebrated with cognac... Cognac is very conducive to expiation of sins.
• I guess I'll have to excuse you. Otherwise, I will earn a dubious reputation as a vindictive witch...
• It is impossible to be angry with you for long.
• I love reciprocity: how sincere your apology is, how sincere is my forgiveness.
• What indulgence do you expect from me: a hug or a kiss?
• Okay, let's give you a chance to improve. But there will be no second chance, I warn you.
• You can't spread an apology on bread or put it in your pocket. How are you going to atone for sins?
• Okay, we all learn from our mistakes. Only the smart ones learn from the mistakes of others. I hope we both get smarter in the future.
• This is not the first time... I would not want our relationship to be constantly marred by requests for forgiveness.
• Betrayal cannot be forgiven, but I will try.
• God will forgive, and it's not my job to arrange your meeting.
• I should think...
• Thank you for taking the step towards reconciliation, otherwise I did not know how to resolve this situation.
• I'm sorry, I have nowhere else to get forgiveness for you. You have exhausted your limit for a long time.
• Don't worry so much about the inconvenience caused. I took revenge on you a long time ago, you just haven't heard about it yet.

If you find it difficult to choose the best answer, the following recommendations will help you:

1. An adequate assessment of guilt will help you choose the best answer. For example, if a person is only to blame for the fact that he unintentionally (due to circumstances, environmental conditions, etc.) bumped into you, then the phrases “It’s okay, you didn’t plan anything bad”, “Trifles, don’t worry!” , and the like - will be appropriate. In this case, the “guilty” didn’t actually do anything wrong, but he thinks he offended/insulted you. If a person spoiled (broke, rendered unusable, destroyed, lost, etc.) material things / valuables - the above answers will be relevant only in cases where the damaged thing had no significance for you, was not used and was not needed. However, by using these phrases (as if brushing aside the problem) in cases where material damage is caused by a child, you seem to inform him that things are worthless and, therefore, the culprit should not think about making amends and apologize - so you contribute to the formation in the child of an irresponsible attitude towards other people's property. As a result of such an attitude, he can more than once get into unpleasant situations already in adulthood (if this belief takes root in the mind).
2. In addition to the degree of guilt, determine whether (other than an apology) compensation is required from the culprit (in case of damage/loss of any property). If compensation for the harm caused is required, and the guilty person did not talk about it, choose those phrases that will turn the conversation in the direction you need (that is, phrases that include a reminder of the need to compensate for the damage). These phrases include: “Are you ready (a) to compensate me for the repair of the damaged item or will you make this repair yourself?”, “Good. Now I would like to discuss the repair of a broken thing.
3. Also determine if you would like to develop a further relationship with the perpetrator. After you apologize, you don't have to keep the friendship with the person, but you don't have to end it either. In this case, the decision to resume or terminate the relationship depends on you, your desire, intentions, circumstances, etc. If you accept an apology, then you confirm your agreement to forget about what happened (according to the rules of etiquette).
4. If, through the fault of a person, important plans were violated / did not come true, or his actions did not get the expected (and promised to you) result - choose such phrases to make him feel better (for example: “Don’t worry so much. After all, you did (a) everything in your power", "Let's forget. Nothing could be changed. But we got valuable experience", "The main thing is that we are all alive, healthy, no one was hurt").
5. If the interlocutor does not apologize for the misconduct for the first time (here we mean significant "sins"), and continues to commit these misconduct, abusing your patience, and you no longer have the desire to endlessly justify and forgive him - choose a phrase that will communicate your distrust ( for example: “You do this all the time and this time my forgiveness is the last”, “You have repeatedly apologized and continue to let me down, so I do not forgive you now and will not forgive you in the future”).
6. If you have a desire to accept an apology, but are in doubt whether it is worth doing it, choose a phrase that will tell the interlocutor about your doubts and, perhaps, he will dispel them (for example: “Good. Let's decide how we will act in the future in such situations so that we both feel comfortable", "I'm afraid this won't be the last time. I think I'll be on my toes now waiting for the next such trick and I'm not sure if I need to forget this incident", etc.) . This is better than formally accepting an apology, but holding a grudge and pretending everything is fine.
7. If you plan to maintain an even (friendly, family, professional, etc.) relationship, choose phrases that include gratitude for the apology (for example: “Thank you for finding the strength to admit the mistake, explain the misunderstanding and apologize. I appreciate your words ”, “Thank you for appreciating our friendship more than your own pride”, etc.). The offender will not only be pleased that you appreciated his courage, but also calmly - a settled problem reduces the feeling of internal anxiety, reduces the level of stress (for all participants in the situation).
8. If you have firmly decided that there can be no further relationship between you, you are not ready to forgive, and you are not interested in explanations, choose phrases that will inform your opponent about your intentions. However, when choosing sarcastic phrases, with subtext, ambiguous, make sure that the addressee (the one to whom you address your words) is emotionally stable, balanced, able to accept your answer without aggression.
9. If you do not intend to accept an apology and assume that the culprit is emotionally unstable, unbalanced, short-tempered, aggressive, can harm himself or you (after refusal) - try to choose a neutral phrase for your answer that will not offend him, will not damage self-esteem, will not will cause an outbreak of aggression, resentment, etc. (that is, a phrase without sarcasm, ambiguity, harshness, rudeness, etc.). In this case, it’s better not to take risks, not to put pressure, not to aggravate the stressful situation, so as not to become the culprit of trouble yourself (such phrases include: “Thank you for your apologies, now it will be easier for me to forget the offense”, “Apologies are accepted”, “Okay, From this day on, it's all in the past. " At the same time, it is not necessary to give the interlocutor a false hope (or a direct promise) for the resumption of the previous relationship as if nothing had happened. Especially if you do not plan to maintain any relationship in the future.
10. The phrases “It's okay”, “Let's forget about it” do not allow the interlocutor to understand how much you accepted the apology. When choosing a similar answer, reinforce it with a friendly smile, gesture (for example, a handshake, etc.), facial expressions, intonation, so that the addressee is convinced of your forgiveness (if you want to convince him of this). Or supplement such an answer with the phrases “I understand you and I’m not angry”, “This happened for the first time and I’m sure that it won’t happen again”, “I know that you did it by accident, without malicious intent.” You can also supplement your answer with an offer / invitation to spend time together (for example: go for a walk, drink coffee in a coffee shop, participate in a cultural event, visit an exhibition / cinema / gallery, etc. ) - this way you let the interlocutor understand that you want to stay on friendly terms and enjoy his/her company. If you answer in a similar way in correspondence (in social networks, etc.), be sure to support your answer with the listed additional phrases, since in this case you do not have the opportunity to reinforce words with gestures, facial expressions, intonation, and the interlocutor will continue to remain in the dark regarding your decision to accept or not accept his remorse.
11. If you accept an apology from a child, avoid moralizing, rudeness, and such phrases as: “I told you!”, “You should have listened to your mother!”. Accepting an apology with a "stone" face, ignoring, refusing to talk, not listening, stubbornly silent, additionally punishing, asking "What are you apologizing for?" also not necessary (often it is dangerous for the child's psyche). Feelings of guilt and disturbed peace in relationships are already a significant punishment for a small person, and asking for forgiveness is a psychologically difficult test for him. Therefore, the moment of accepting an apology should not be made difficult, unpleasant, filled with shouting and criticism, strengthen the feeling of shame (he should not learn to apologize through shame). In this case, it is enough to hug and use such phrases as: “Nothing, anything happens in life ... The main thing is that we have each other”, “Thank you for apologizing. Now I’m not so offended and I will soon forget all the bad things.
12. In business communication, as well as in formal, secular and any other, the degree of guilt is important for choosing the optimal answer. If a colleague/partner accidentally left a mug of tea on your desk (that is, he did nothing “criminal”, but feels embarrassed that he unintentionally annoyed you) and apologizes for this, the phrases: “It's okay , the mug didn’t bother me”, “Everything is in order, not a single document was damaged”, etc. In cases where you accept an apology for more significant errors, the same recommendations are relevant as for other communications (see paragraphs with No. 1 to No. 10 of these recommendations), with the only difference that sarcastic, ambiguous phrases are not used as an answer. Sufficient will be neutral, formal answers (without dubious humor, harshness, rudeness, without familiarity), said without malice, with restraint, without unnecessary emotions (for example: “The situation that has arisen is an isolated case in your partnership and, we hope, it will remain so”, “ I propose to decide how we will proceed in the future in such situations, so that we both feel comfortable", "I hope you will do everything possible so that this does not happen again. We will consider the misunderstanding settled").
13. On the day of Forgiveness Sunday, it is enough to answer “God forgave, and I forgive!”, “I give you my forgiveness and I will be glad (a) if you manage to forgive all the grief that I (consciously or unintentionally) caused you (a) ". At the same time, it is not required to remember and list everything you did / said that offended or theoretically could ever offend a person.

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