How to show concern for others

The Best Ways to Show Care To The People On Your Team

Studies confirm what common sense tells us: people who are feel cared for at work are more engaged and effective. They’re happier, more positive and productive, and less likely to leave. Caring for the people who report to you doesn’t just make you a better boss—it has a positive effect on your entire organization, including the bottom line.

Here are some proven ways to show you care:

Be accepting. When people tell you something, they’re often looking for understanding instead of answers. Try to listen without judging. Open your mind and make hearing their point of view your only goal, then let them know they were heard by repeating and summarizing what was said. Don’t offer advice or solutions unless you’re sure they want to hear them.

Be interested. Without being intrusive, make a point of talking with people on your team about things in their life that aren’t related to work. Get to know their hobbies and interests, the things they’re passionate about, how they like to spend their time. There’s a good chance that you’ll discover some points of connection.

Be a good listener. Too many bosses are marginal listeners. They may be action oriented, impatient or rushed, but they’re more apt to cut someone off mid-sentence or finish their thought for them than to truly listen. Whatever the reason, they come off as cold and uncaring. Always take the time to listen to your people.

Keep people informed. An important part of leadership is sharing the information people need to do their job well, to understand what’s happening in the organization and industry, and to maintain a broad perspective on the work their doing and its purpose. People who are well-informed feel valued.

Express concern. When someone comes to you with a problem, show sincere concern. Offer any assistance that’s appropriate, but make sure when you do you’re not taking over, stepping on their autonomy or questioning their ability to solve the problem themselves.

Show your appreciation. People work hard, and one of the best ways to show them you care is by simply expressing appreciation for the things they do. Whether it takes the form of a big celebration, a public shout-out, a personal note or even a quick “way to go” in the hallway, let people know you value their contribution to the team.

Provide opportunities. Finding new opportunities for your direct reports to grow and learn is a great way to show them that you have their back. Set up lunch-and-learn sessions, provide professional memberships and development opportunities, and pair people up for cross-training in a new area they’d like to learn more about.

Exhibit trust. Showing trust in your direct reports means you respect them and have faith in their judgment and work without micromanaging.

Lead from within: If you want to show the people on your team you care, make sure you are the best leader you can be and that those who report to you have everything they need to be successful.

The Leadership Gap
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Additional Reading you might enjoy:

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  • A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
  • How to Succeed as A New Leader
  • 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
  • 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
  • The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
  • The Deception Trap of Leadership


Photo Credit: istockphoto

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR,, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

10 Simple Ways to Show Care to Others

It only takes a minute to let your friends know that they are valued.

As summer draws to a close, so has my internship. In fact, I’m already back in Illinois and back on campus at Wheaton College. While I still have plenty of processing to do, one thing is very clear about this summer: It has been a gift, primarily because of the people I got to spend it with.

The thought of leaving these friends behind is sad to say the least, but last week I challenged myself to commit more wholeheartedly to maintaining these new relationships long-distance. Exactly how to do that is a challenge in and of itself. Thankfully, I have friends and family who have shown me what love and care looks like from both near and far.

This list is a compilation of the ways that I have felt cared for in the past few months and is by no means exhaustive or prescriptive.

1. Listen.

Maybe this seems obvious, but I can’t tell you how known and loved I feel when someone looks into my eyes and engages with what I am saying.

2. Surprise them with a little gift.

One morning, a fellow intern knocked on my cube with a coffee and donut in hand. That little breakfast surprise brightened my entire day. Even after I was done drinking my coffee, seeing the empty cup on my desk made me smile.

3. Leave them an encouraging note.

It doesn’t have to be long. A simple sticky note with something like, “You are important to me” or “Thanks for being my friend” will do. One intern left me a sticky note: “Melissa, you’re a rock star.” I keep it stuck to my computer screen and it gives me encouragement every time I see it.

4. Let them know you’re thinking of them.

If a friend comes to mind, shoot them a text. So many times, a simple “Hey, thinking of you, hope you’re doing well” type of text will lead to a longer, meaningful conversation.

5. Send them snail mail.

I got a pen pal back in second grade and have been hooked on writing letters ever since. Amidst the random advertisements and bills that cycle through your mailbox, do you know how fun it is to receive a handwritten note? It’s really, really, fun. Don’t know how to fill a whole page with words? Just write about your day as if you were having a conversation over a cup of coffee. Ask them some questions, and maybe they’ll write you back!

6. Send them a picture of a fun memory.

I find myself scrolling through my camera roll often, pretty much bathing in nostalgia. Sometimes when I run across a picture of me and a friend, I’ll text it to them, inviting them into the nostalgia. It’s a sweet way to remember the good times you’ve shared.

7. Send them an article or a meme.

If you run across something that reminds you of a conversation you had with them in the past, send it to them! I always feel special when someone remembers a conversation we’ve had in the past and sends me something related, whether serious or funny.

8. Ask them how you can bless or help them in the coming days.

Schedules get full and the to-do list gets long. Offering to take one thing off their plate can make a world of difference.

9. Ask them how you can be praying for them.

We are called to share each other’s burdens.

10. Actually pray for them.

On one of my last days of work, one of my coworkers came to my cube, asked me how he could be praying for me, then sat down and prayed right then and there. While sharing your burdens feels good, knowing that those burdens are actually being brought before the Lord feels even better. It’s easy to hear someone’s prayer requests, then immediately forget about them. Pause and pray!

It only takes a minute to let your friends know that they are valued. So go find a sticky note and let them know!

Copyright 2020 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved.

More important than all gifts: 15 ways to show care for loved ones

A small effort for good: do not ignore the calls and messages that relatives or friends send you, even if it does not happen at the right time. You don't have to respond in the middle of the day with a detailed account of how you are doing. Just make it clear that it is important to you that someone cares about your fate or how your day goes. It is not so difficult to answer: “I am very pleased that you remembered me, everything is fine, but there is a lot to do”, “Thank you for writing, let's call you in the evening”, “It's great that you are in touch! Let me know how you're doing and I'll get back to you later." Or just send a heart.

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Even if you don't consider March 8 or Hug Day to be significant holidays and get goosebumps at the sight of clumsy postcards with poems, this is no reason to leave your loved ones who celebrate these holidays without congratulations. Save a dozen or two beautiful concise pictures with balloons or motivational slogans from Tumblr or Pinterest in a separate folder and send them with a couple of warm words to your loved ones on important dates.

If a loved one is going through a difficult period in life - divorce, dismissal, health problems - keep in touch and regularly ask how things are going. If a loved one is sick, help find or call a doctor, go get medicine or order food. If a friend feels bad after parting with her beloved, send her affectionate messages and distract her from painful thoughts. You don't have to become a sister of mercy to all friends forever. At the same time, the ability to be there in difficult moments works for relationships like a film developer: it shows who really loves and is ready to share time and spiritual strength for the benefit of a dear person.

Believe in your loved ones and motivate them to believe in themselves. Congratulate them on accomplishments they are proud of, whether it's a new job or finally mastering a difficult asana. Be interested in what they dream about and help them make a plan to move towards this goal. Perhaps you cherish a similar idea, and making it a reality with someone close will be much easier. Sometimes just a few words of encouragement are enough to fill you up with enthusiasm and energy or start making a dream project come true.

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Crazy dancing until dawn, fishing in the country and the first perch caught, a spontaneous trip to another country, a big culinary experiment - with each of your loved ones you have some kind of big or small joint story, with memories of which is good for the soul. Do not keep these memories to yourself - remind your family and friends about them, especially those with whom you rarely see each other. The good old days are called that because their echoes bring joy and a sense of unity with loved ones and remind you that your relationship has been tested for years.

Support can be expressed not only by approval or unconditional consent - sometimes simple attention and the ability to be a listener are much more valuable. No matter how absurd the idea of ​​a friend or relative may seem to you, suppress the initial impulse to bombard him with pragmatic arguments against. Listen to the end, delve into the matter and ask questions. So you can understand the motivation of your loved ones, and they will get a look from the outside - sometimes completely unexpected, which had not occurred to them before.

People change and acquire new and sometimes unusual habits and interests throughout life - you and your loved ones are no exception. Even if you don't like what your loved one does, refrain from snorting contemptuously or speaking negatively. Instead of convincing or shaming, think about why it is difficult for you to accept changes in loved ones and why it causes you such irritation. Remember that your friend or relative is an adult, capable of making their own decisions about how to live. You do not have to share someone else's choice, but accepting and respecting it is the key to a good relationship.

If loved ones complain about something that worries them, they may be upset by your “This is nonsense, there’s nothing to even worry about” or “Oh, well, these are stupid things that you invent” - this way you underestimate the significance of their feelings, which , in fact, are quite real, if they dared to voice them. Patience and acceptance is the best manifestation of caring, so instead of criticizing, show unconditional love and help with advice - but only if it is asked for.

Actually, it doesn't really matter what exactly you compliment: the very fact of attention that you have shown is valuable. When you praise someone's sweater, car, scientific paper, or ability to do the splits, the recipient of the compliment is actually hearing "I respect you and admire your choices and accomplishments." Even if it's a grouchy old lady whose taste is exactly the opposite of yours, praise the color or design of her shirt, the shiny teapot, or the thick seedlings on the window. An insignificant effort for you, but for her it can become a rare and precious manifestation of kindred love.

Each of us lives in our own information flow, which is formed from our environment in social networks - and seems natural to the whole world around. But this is not so: your friends or parents are probably subscribed to completely different media resources and people, and many interesting news may pass them by. Live reviews of people you know inspire much more trust, so take your time and share with your loved ones what you are interested in. Tell us what you remember about a dramatic movie that is at the box office, what a fascinating article on psychology or a book you read, and what kind of exhibition is taking place in the nearest museum - and you will have something to discuss with your loved ones at the next meeting.

It's better to show them once than to write messages to each parent for 10 minutes about how things are going, or to describe a dress to a friend on the phone. To save time, make general chats on Telegram or WhatsApp: one for family, one for best friends, one for your company. Be the first to send pictures of kids, food, and places of interest while traveling, the second to send photos from the dressing room, bookstore, or gym, and the third to choose a place for a vacation, New Year's holidays, or just laugh at memes that resemble mutual acquaintances.

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There are times when you need to tell your loved ones something unpleasant or fight back if they overstep the bounds of tact. If you feel that you are walking on very thin ice or start to boil, do not be rude and, when explaining your position, choose your words carefully. In cases where you have to tell the bitter truth, do not hide behind value judgments or instructions like “You would be fine ...”, “It would be better ...” or “It’s impossible!”. Be honest about your feelings: “This hurts me,” “I care about your health,” “I get angry when you try to make decisions for me.”

When texting with family and friends, try to replace the faceless “Everything is fine” and “Things are OK” with small details that can make your loved ones feel involved in your life. “I’m eating Caesar, what do you have for lunch?”, “I’m going to the cinema to see Fantastic Beasts, but how is your weekend?”, “I’ve made an appointment with the dentist, I’m worried!”. So you give them a chance to show sympathy, express support and just an excuse to talk about themselves.

Basic etiquette is a way to let your loved ones know that you care about their comfort and appreciate the time they spend with you. Step back with questions if you are not in a hurry to share the details of personal affairs. Do not demand an immediate response to your calls, letters or messages, especially during business hours. Do not show up unannounced and try not to be late for meetings.

Friendship with blood vows and the joy of staying together around the clock is usually the prerogative of teenagers and newlyweds. Everyone else (and you too) needs personal space and the ability to manage their own lives. Therefore, for a warm friendship, it is important to let go of the desire to control everything and everyone and work on jealousy. Our loved ones have every right to be friends with people other than us and have interests that do not coincide with ours.

When you feel the need to be alone with yourself, it is better to talk about it directly and not grow resentment, waiting for your partner or mother to guess to take the children for a walk or let you go to a bar with your girlfriends in the evening. If your loved ones are craving a meeting or communication, and you are in the “Don’t get in, it will kill” mood, don’t come up with awkward excuses and say straight out that you are tired after a difficult week, you want to gather your thoughts and air out alone.

Thank your loved ones and remind them how important it is for you to have them in your life. Behind a pile of everyday affairs, the impulse to say thank you is often lost - and meanwhile, this is a brilliant way in its simplicity to show love to a loved one and give him an invaluable feeling that he brings someone benefit with his existence. Gratitude does not have to be for something material. Say thank you for listening to you, keeping company over a cup of coffee, a couple of kind words made your day better, for good advice, or simply for the fact that your loved one is always somewhere nearby, even if he lives in another country.

8 ways to take care of yourself


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Any flower will grow and bloom if you take care of it. So it is with a person - we all need care. And above all, take care of yourself. Of course, in the cycle of everyday life and endless affairs, it is not so easy to find time for this, but taking care of yourself begins with real trifles that will not tear you away from your usual activities and even make you even more productive. Below we talk about what to watch, read, do and how to take care of the most important person in your life - yourself. After all, everyone knows that love for this world begins with love for yourself!

1. Morning routine in a new way

It is necessary to take care of yourself from the very morning. Start your day with a glass of warm lemon water and a little stretch right on your bed. Make a mask or patches to give your face a fresh look. Try to have breakfast at the table, slowly. Prepare your favorite breakfast and don't forget to serve it.

2. Take care of the space you are in

Tidy up your desktop and phone, clear your desk of things you don't need, and uninstall apps you don't use from your phone. Free up an hour a week to sort out your makeup bag, rinse your brushes. In an atmosphere of cleanliness and order, you will be much more pleasant to start your day.

3. Have coffee at your favorite coffee shop

Even if you have a coffee machine at home or at work that can make good coffee for you, don't forget to visit your favorite coffee shops. Drinking a cup of a fragrant drink, immersing yourself in the atmosphere of a coffee shop, looking at other people and being alone with yourself is also a manifestation of self-care.

4. Take a Mindful Walk

Do not neglect outdoor walks. Try to look at the world around you through the eyes of a curious child and see how beautiful the buildings are and how exciting the routes are, which we usually do not pay attention to in a hurry.

5. Watch an inspiring movie after work

For example, "Not yet played in the box!" This is a story about two terminally ill people who have only six months to live. They decide to get the most out of life and make a to-do list that includes everything they've never tried before. An inspiring story shows how you can take everything from life and be happy even in the most tragic situations.

6. Take a relaxing sea salt bath

Sea salt contains many useful trace elements: iodine, potassium, calcium, bromine, zinc, magnesium, silicon, iron. Thanks to this procedure, you can improve metabolism, improve skin elasticity and smoothness, restore the functioning of the nervous system, and normalize blood pressure. First, dissolve salt (about 200-300 g) in hot water in a separate bowl, and then pour the solution into a bath of warm water. Take this bath for no longer than 20 minutes. And in order to completely feel the atmosphere of peace, comfort, harmony, you can decorate the bath with flower petals and beautiful candles.

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