Home » Misc » How i overcame bulimia

How i overcame bulimia


5 Steps to Reclaim Your Life

Bulimia nervosa is an eating disorder that can wreak havoc on your body, relationships and life. Getting help for bulimia can save your life. And once you’ve learned how to recover from bulimia, life can shift dramatically — in unexpected and sometimes challenging ways.

Recovery from bulimia is an ongoing process that doesn’t end when you’re discharged from inpatient treatment or even months or years after your last purge. The answer to the question “how to recover from bulimia” is highly individual and complex but these tips will help you overcome your challenges with food and body image as you embark on your recovery journey.

1. How to Recover from Bulimia

The first step in recovering from bulimia is getting help. Tell a trusted family member or friend or reach out to a professional. Since recovering from bulimia is a difficult process, with many bumps in the road, guidance from a professional who specializes in eating disorder recovery will help you navigate the twists and turns of recovery. Many people are not able to recover on their own. Reaching out for help can be essential to recovery.

Once you’ve identified your support system, and ideally with help from a professional, you can then start to follow these steps to let go of bulimia once and for all.

Stop the Binge-Purge Cycle

One of the key symptoms of bulimia is a pattern of bingeing on food and then purging, either through inducing vomiting, restricting/dieting, exercising or using substances to try to offset (or compensate) for the food eaten. And this painful pattern can often feel impossible to break. Learning the causes of this pattern can help you break free from it with help from your treatment team.

Stop Restricting Your Food

A common trigger for a binge is deprivation. Restricting your food intake, whether it’s denying a craving or not meeting your body’s basic nutritional needs, can trigger a natural response to your body perceiving “starvation” …and this can lead to a binge. So, even if it sounds counterintuitive, eating regularly is the biggest factor for preventing the urge to binge. Eat regularly, tend to your hunger and make sure you’re giving your body the food it needs.

Learn Your Triggers

Many people who experience bulimia can point to experiences that trigger bingeing and purging. Something as simple as being in a particular place, or a specific time of day, can be a trigger. Stress and feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety can also be triggers. And some people might be triggered by certain foods early in recovery. To stop the binge-purge cycle, you will need to examine what triggers this behavior for you, and develop strategies for managing those triggers.

Make a Plan to Overcome Bulimia

What do you do when you want to binge and purge? Often, breaking this cycle is a matter of just getting through a difficult moment. Come up with a plan that will help you tolerate these moments. Knowing what to do when the feeling hits you can help you get through it. Things you may want to include in your plan are calling a friend or family member, distracting yourself with a task or going to a safe location where you don’t have the means or access to binge or purge.

2. Start Healing Your Relationship with Food

People who suffer from bulimia can lose touch with the cues their body sends them about hunger and fullness. Intuitive Eating can help you get back in touch with those signals so you can make peace with food. It’s an anti-diet plan. Instead of telling you what to eat, or how much to eat, Intuitive Eating is all about helping you trust yourself with food again and getting the nutrition your body needs!.

Explore Intuitive Eating in Recovery

For someone in recovery from bulimia, it can be helpful to work closely with your treatment team as you explore Intuitive Eating. In the early stages, food plans and guidelines developed with your team can help you find your footing as you reconnect with hunger and fullness signals. The Intuitive Eating Workbook by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch is also an excellent resource to learn how to apply Intuitive Eating principles in your life.

3. Manage Your Anxiety

The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD) notes that “more than half of bulimia patients have comorbid anxiety disorders.” Anxiety is at the heart of the behavior for many people with bulimia. So, conversely, managing anxiety is an essential piece of how to recover from bulimia.

Find Bulimia Treatment That Works for You

Work with your team to address your anxiety. Talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can all be effective treatments for anxiety. Medication is also an option to treat anxiety. Not all techniques work for all people, so it may take some trial-and-error to find what works for you.

Distract Yourself From Your Anxiety

Distraction can be a powerful weapon in combating anxiety. Find ways to self-soothe so you can get past a moment of anxiety. For some people, a repetitive task like knitting or coloring in an adult coloring book can be soothing and distracting enough that momentary anxiety melts away. And some people may need to physically take themselves out of an anxious moment or situation by going for a walk or hopping in their car for a drive with the radio on.

4. Start Healing Your Relationship with Your Body

Bulimia is destructive to your relationship with your body in so many ways. It can cause physical damage, such as esophageal and dental problems, but the damage goes well beyond that. Bulimia can turn you into a combatant against your body, waging a war against your own flesh. And an essential piece of recovery is healing that relationship and reconnecting with your body as a friend, not a foe.

Embrace Health at Every Size™

Health at Every Size (HAES) is a holistic approach to health and wellness. It is the opposite of a weight-centric approach, advancing health as a spectrum, not an end-point or moral imperative. Learning about HAES means learning a new approach to caring for your body, finding pleasure in eating and joy in movement, and letting go of rules about “health” that is focused on body size.

Break Up With Your Scale

The bathroom scale is a centerpiece of daily life for many people with eating disorders. The number on that scale can feel like the determining factor on a good day or a bad day. And that’s precisely why getting rid of your scale can be a game-changer in recovery. Whether you trash it or symbolically smash it with a hammer, getting rid of your scale means those numbers no longer have the power to determine your actions or emotions. (Safety tip for those who choose the hammer: wear goggles!) Breaking up with your bathroom scale also allows you to focus on how your body feels instead of how much it weighs.

5. Develop a Support System

Most people who recover from bulimia don’t do it alone. They have a network of support that helps them along the way. And so, building your network of support is a crucial step of how to recover from bulimia. Your network can include close friends, trusted family members, your treatment team, support groups, and even online groups for people in recovery. These people can help you through bad moments, cheer on victories and milestones in recovery, and be there to support you as you recover.

Linda Gerhardt is writer and content creator who works in nonprofit technology by day and runs a fat activism & Health at Every Size-focused blog called Fluffy Kitten Party by night. She lives in northern Virginia with her husband and rescue pets. 

Related Articles on Center for Discovery:

  • How to Stop Binge Eating
  • 8 Instagram Accounts That Will Support Your Recovery
  • How to Get Treatment for Bulimia

How I Overcame Binge Eating

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and these are my experiences. Please please seek help if you are suffering from an eating disorder or mental illness. HERE is more information about how to do so. 

After I wrote about my story a few weeks ago, I received no less than 20 emails from different FFF readers with similar experiences. I wanted to give each of them a BIG shout out because there is no way I would have ever had the balls to open up like that during my disordered eating. You are all stronger than you think (on the inside and out 😉 ).

Today’s post is on how to overcome binge eating; a very common question since my last disordered eating post…Again, after you read through if you have more questions feel free to shoot me an email or use the comment section to ask! I am very open about answering 😛

Before I start I just wanted to reiterate…

I thought that the day I stopped counting calories was my light at the end of the tunnel, but I still had a long journey ahead of me.

Binge eating was probably the most stressful and embarrassing part of my eating disorder because you just feel like you have absolutely control. No control about your thoughts and no control of your actions around food. Remember, I went from being in complete control, counting every little morsel that went into my mouth, to absolutely no control and not being able to lasso it in.

I know this can be triggering for some, so stop reading if that’s you!

When the binging started.

I remember this vividly. I was sitting in a group therapy class with multiple other young women who went to the U of M and we were sharing stories of our highs and lows. *I just have to say that it takes a lot of balls to go to a group therapy session.* I had no idea what kind of disordered eating everyone else had, but at the time I really only knew about anorexia (what I had) and bulimia. The first girl to go started sharing a very graphic story about her binging and purging. Like 9,000 calories worth of binging on dorm food. I was mortified. I didn’t even know that existed and I told myself that I would never and could never let myself go like that (remember at the time I was in complete and utter control of every calorie that went into my body).

That day I told myself that group therapy wasn’t for me. Summer was coming and I continued 1-1 therapy and my antidepressant. I was actually on an uprise, putting all my energy towards defeating my eating disorder. I stopped counting calories, and set myself the goal of “intuitive eating.”

Things were getting much better going into my senior year. Overall, I felt happier and much more comfortable around food. That’s when the binging started. When I got comfortable. I was no longer depressed, but was now sort of “obsessed with food.” I remember I would wake up at 3AM at eat my breakfast because I couldn’t sleep and was literally obsessing over my breakfast. Because of that, my whole entire eating schedule was off, which lead to major binging at night.

What a Typical Binge Looked Like

For me binging was more of an oral fixation than anything. I love the sensation of crunchy foods, cold foods, etc. When it comes down to it, my binge eating was due to the fact that I could not read my hunger cues and I had no self-control.   My binging usually took place at night, after I had a beautiful day of eating good-for-you foods. It was usually on some sort of sweeter (but healthy) food that I would consider my dessert (at the time). Nothing is “healthy” if you eat an ungodly amount of it in one sitting.

I would go into the snack or dessert with the intent of just having a handful or a serving and end up going WAY overboard. My handful of raisins would turn into 1-2 cups + something else. Or if I had made a batch of cookies- bam those were gone. Same thing with grapes. I would freeze grapes, hoping that because they were frozen, it would take me longer to eat (which is suggested for intuitive eating). 3 pounds later or almost 1,000 calories, the entire bag of grapes. Gone.

What I Binged On

There are really only a select few things that I binged on. The first one that makes me the most upset is the gum chewing. I have always been a gum chewer, but gum was almost like a sweet safety net for me. Instead of having dessert (which is clearly more calories than a stick of gum), I would pop a piece of sweet sugar-free bubblegum to get my fix. 6 packs later…yes. You read that correctly. 6. packs. later. My stomach would be so gassy, bloated, and uncomfortable that there was no way I was leaving my house. I know you are probably thinking, how can you binge on gum if you don’t actually eat it? Well, gum does have a caloric value. The crazy thing is, I wasn’t really able to realize what I was doing, while I was doing it. It was only afterward when I would lay in my bed, in pain because my stomach was so bloated.

A few other common foods I couldn’t control myself around was grapes, cereal, and raisins. It was hard for me to buy anything in bulk at the time from the grocery store because I was scared to death that I wasn’t going to be able to control myself and eat the entire thing. I’m not sure why I chose grapes and raisins, but I can tell you that today- both of those things just look and sound so unappealing to me. And cereal/granola. I could never sit down and have just 1 bowl. More like 3 or 4 giant bowls. That was and is my favorite after dinner treat.

My Recovery

Like I stated above, my recovery included 1-1 therapy, an antidepressant, love, and support from my family, and will-power from me.

I started dating Blake in January of my senior year (2012) and at the time I was going back and forth between binging and restricting (never purging).  I felt extremely guilty and embarrassed because I was hiding my binging from him (only doing it when he wasn’t home) and Blake is the person I share everything with. We soon moved in together and that’s when I told myself, NO MORE. I told myself I was not going to let this thing run my life and make me feel guilty around Blake. This is when I decided to change.

Blake’s eating habits are very different than mine. He eats 3 meals but eats what he’s craving. I could never eat just 3 meals (I am a small- 6 meal kind of girl), but I was never really able to “just eat what I was craving” because I was on such a rigorous diet for so long. Blake eats a lot of meats, veggies, eggs, and fruit and he doesn’t like dessert. Well- I LOVE dessert, so I would make huge dinner and eat that, but then go for my real craving 1 or 2 hours later.

So, I decided to start feeding my body what I was craving when I was craving it. I’m not saying that I would eat dessert for dinner every night, but if I knew I was craving granola, I would make myself a Greek yogurt and granola parfait, and be absolutely content, not feeling like I needed to have 4 bowls of it. Because- if I didn’t give my body what she was craving, I knew that after dinner I would fall into the binge trap and eat it, a lot if it, anyways.

One thing that really helped me through this entire process was believing myself and staying positive. Every day is a new day. Things didn’t change overnight, but I didn’t stop until I got what I wanted –> normal-like eating habits. Another thing that helped me recover, was sharing my experience with someone else. My sister was the only one who really knew what was going on, but the situation really comes to life when you say it out loud.

So…

Tips for Recovery
  1. Eat what you are craving when you are craving it.
  2. Surround yourself with normal eaters. What is a normal eater? Someone who eats intuitively and probably doesn’t even know it!
  3. Challenge yourself. Go out to eat, go to bars, and pt yourself in situations where it’s uncomfortable. If you’re craving a donut for breakfast, order the damn donut and feel good about your decision.
  4. Write down your goal and don’t stop believing. Every day is a new day and you need to stay positive!
  5. Share your story with someone. Say it out loud and tell them and yourself what you are going to do to overcome it.
  6. Know that your eating habits don’t have to be the same as everyone else’s. If 6 small meals work for you, do it. If you like to eat pancakes for dinner, do it.

So that is that. It’s been almost a good year, and I am feeling good about my eating. I binge like a normal person (in moderation) and I am now able to let my mind think about other things, rather than obsessing over what I feed my body. I am like a whole new woman and I wake up with a kick-ass attitude every single day. I know what it feels like to be trapped in your own mind. This is why I am able to wake up and feel so free and thankful to be happy and healthy.

Bulimia, who coped and how?

Bulimia, who coped ...

ago

1

...

...

2

A forward

53 Response

The last Go to

#1

#2

#5

#8

#11 9000

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

Guest

But just didn’t try?

#19

Guest

A friend had bulimia, a terrible thing. At a sitting, she ate a box of chocolates and went to puke. He pretended everything was fine afterwards. She did not recognize the problem until she was cured by the diligence of her parents and my lectures. How can one not love oneself in order to mock the body like that? YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF!

#20

Guest

I advise you to just relax and forget about appearance. Your problem is that you hate yourself for imperfect forms. As soon as you understand. that weight is not important and allow yourself to eat without the obligatory toilet - go on the mend. Yes, it will blow you away at first. This is what you need to accept and psychologically fall in love with yourself as a fat woman. Then further slow weight loss will not bring you problems. For now, the problem is self-acceptance. And it's not about not overeating, but about allowing yourself to eat without blaming yourself.

#21

Guest

A box of chocolates? What nonsense. I could eat half the fridge in one sitting, then go puke, then (follow) eat the other half of the refrigerator, go puke again. Then there was a forced break for a campaign for new products. And again.. and again.. etc. and so on. such a killer pastime. And you about the box of chocolates, but it was one tooth for me. I could sharpen a kilogram of sausage into a lung, then this sausage began to rise and stand, it began to feel sick, I had to take it to the toilet. Then again the feeling of hunger. INSANE feeling of hunger. The next kilogram of sausage is used. And the digestive organs already refuse to digest food. I suffered from this rubbish for 6 years. No one knew. The girlfriend guessed, and broke me into my mother, but my mother did not react. I vomited to the point that my periods began to disappear. I looked like a prisoner from a concentration camp. Terrible purulent boils began to jump up my body. How did you get rid of it? I took myself in hand. Not everything worked out right away, everything moved very slowly, at first with disruptions. Actually, I still have no problem going and throwing up. This is not a problem for me at all. So I have not been sick for 15 years already. The retribution is cruel - I had my own very beautiful teeth, they are no more.

#22

Guest

Try to tell the addict - just don't inject. This is not a bad habit, but a serious psychological problem.

#23

my favorite name

only real grief helped me... I don't wish this on you, I'm just telling you. a very close and dear person died, and I just didn’t care at all . . for everything. especially for bulimia and anorexia. I mean, now for you bulimia is almost the most important thing in life, it is a very big obsession. get distracted by something that is really important to you (it’s hard to advise without knowing you), you can get fixated on your body for good, go in for sports, try new workouts or calculate bju, constantly look for recipes for paragraphs. you can obsessively twist the thought of, for example, what else to eat useful, instead of thinking about the mission. in fact, it is very difficult to control such thoughts, but you can at least try.

#24

http://wwww.youtube.com/watch?v=l5m0qbliczo

9000 06 November 2016 My name is Marina, I am 28 years old. From the age of 14 I suffered from bulimia (I found out the diagnosis later). At school there was a conflict with classmates, coldness and misunderstanding on the part of my parents, led to the fact that I retired and ate, enjoying sweets, later it became hard to breathe from overeating and I began to induce vomiting. Gradually it became a habit, and became an integral part of my life. So I relieved stress, got away from the feeling of loneliness ...
When my stomach began to hurt, thoughts about food became obsessive, the fear that I would get fat from such a large amount of food intensified, my hair fell out - I was very scared and decided to tell my mother about it. Then treatment with pills by a psychiatrist - nothing helped, a hospital in a clinic. next to addicts .... drug addicts and alcoholics - I could not stand it (it generally hits the psyche .. the realization that you are in a complete hole) ...
I thought it was incurable, BUT whoever seeks will always find! I found a way to get rid of bulimia, I was cured ....! Who is in the subject, sing me. my feelings, my cry of the soul. There are still specialists from God. thanks to them. For 3 years now I have been living in a state of freedom from overeating, I can eat a small portion and stop, food has ceased to be a way for me to emotionally discharge, escape from problems. I got married, had a baby and am happy.
Share your experience of bulimia treatment, success, how you got rid of addiction. And if you are still suffering, we are ready to support and advise you.

#29

Woman.ru experts

  • Sadovnikov Ernest

    Psychologist ....

    103 answers

  • Irina Kostoglodova

    Family psychologist

    7 answers

  • Vladimir Titarenko

    Fitness nutritionist

    228 answers

  • Maria Burlakova

    Psychologist

    358 answers

  • Vladimir Weiss

    Neopsychologist

    135 answers

  • Basenkova Olga

    Psychologist

    37 answers

  • Ivanova Svetlana

    Coach

    91 answers

  • Yuri Anatolyevich Ionov

    Psychologist, Supervisor,. ..

    13 answers

  • Anna Antonchik

    Female psychologist

    231 answers

  • Nikita Nosov

    Practicing psychologist

    43 answers

#30

info

I can advise you to go through the Narconon program, where they will help you resolve mental problems, as well as remove drug residues from the body.
Call! 8 (800) 555-10-22

#31 9February 23, 2019 My hands are no longer scarred, I don't stink of vomit, my face is no longer puffy. I lost weight because I know that I can eat EVERYTHING I WANT! Anytime. No more diets ever. No Ana. My body is smarter than me, it wants to eat normally. Quit this thing

#31

sonova.irina

Hello everyone! My name is Marina, I am 28 years old. From the age of 14 I suffered from bulimia (I found out the diagnosis later). At school there was a conflict with classmates, coldness and misunderstanding on the part of my parents, led to the fact that I retired and ate, enjoying sweets, later it became hard to breathe from overeating and I began to induce vomiting. Gradually it became a habit, and became an integral part of my life. This is how I relieved stress, got away from feelings of loneliness...
When my stomach began to hurt, thoughts about food became obsessive, the fear that I would get fat from eating so much increased, my hair fell out - I was very frightened and decided to tell my mother about it. Then treatment with pills by a psychiatrist - nothing helped, a hospital in a clinic. next to addicts .... drug addicts and alcoholics - I couldn’t stand it (it generally hits the psyche .. the realization that you are in a complete hole) ...
I thought it was incurable, BUT whoever seeks will always find! I found a way to get rid of bulimia, I was cured ....! Who is in the subject, sing me. my feelings, my cry of the soul. There are still specialists from God. thanks to them. For 3 years now I have been living in a state of freedom from overeating, I can eat a small portion and stop, food has ceased to be a way for me to emotionally discharge, escape from problems. I got married, had a baby and am happy.
Share your experience of treating bulimia, success, how you got rid of addiction. And if you are still suffering, we are ready to support and advise you.

Invented stories

  • I am infuriated by my husband with his children and grandchildren ...

    1 540 answers

  • The man immediately warned that all property was recorded for children

    1 183 Reply

    • 9

  • Such a salary - I don't want to work

    785 answers

  • A lie 22 years long.

    How to destroy?

    1,027 responses

  • Husband left, 2 months of depression... How will you cope if you are left all alone?

    208 answers

#31

#32

#33

Tell me please, how did you start to recover, did you gain a lot of weight, did your face swell in the morning? Thanks

#35

Guest

ugh, two fingers in my mouth....wow...I wouldn't have been able to, such a stink must be. .. I recently got poisoned, I was drawn

#38

#39

Guest

but just didn't try not to eat?

#40

New topics

  • 3 Answers

  • Reflux gastritis

    8 Answers

    10 answers

  • Is it possible to lose weight in a month?

    15 answers

    • 94

    chewing gum with

    No answers

#41

0 9000 #42, 18000 #42, 18:53

0 #42

Guest

A box of chocolates? What nonsense. I could eat half the fridge in one sitting, then go puke, then (follow) eat the other half of the refrigerator, go puke again. Then there was a forced break for a campaign for new products. And again.. and again.. etc. and so on. such a killer pastime. And you about the box of chocolates, but it was one tooth for me. I could sharpen a kilogram of sausage into a lung, then this sausage began to rise and stand, it began to feel sick, I had to take it to the toilet. Then again the feeling of hunger. INSANE feeling of hunger. The next kilogram of sausage is used. And the digestive organs already refuse to digest food. I suffered from this rubbish for 6 years. No one knew. The girlfriend guessed, and broke me into my mother, but my mother did not react. I vomited to the point that my periods began to disappear. I looked like a prisoner from a concentration camp. Terrible purulent boils began to jump up my body. How did you get rid of it? I took myself in hand. Not everything worked out right away, everything moved very slowly, at first with disruptions. Actually, I still have no problem going and throwing up. This is not a problem for me at all. So I have not been sick for 15 years already. The retribution is cruel - I had my own very beautiful teeth, they are no more.

#43

#47

9000 #48

#49

Guest

I also have bulimia since I was 18. Now I am 42. At the beginning, the situation was very difficult - I ate to such an extent that I could not move, and then vomiting. And so many times a day. But lately the situation has improved much - I can eat something in a small amount in a cafe or at a party and do not immediately run to the toilet to throw it out. At first, the attacks were reduced to 1 time per day, and now they do not repeat for several days in a row, and this is my personal victory. I, too, once lay in an ordinary psychiatric hospital, but they didn’t help me there. It helped me that I'm a perfectionist. I set a goal for myself - to earn a living. You understand that you had to work hard and hard. There was simply no time to puke 24/7. When I earned an apartment, a new goal appeared - to improve the body with the help of strength training. I have always trained before, but without weight. I really wanted to adjust some parameters, i.e. pump up muscles. I set to work with all tenacity, but there was no result. I began to study this issue, and realized that the reason for the lack of results is precisely in nutrition. Those. Muscles need to be fed in order for them to grow. And this is what prompted me not to throw food out of my stomach. At first, it was very difficult psychologically to convince myself that food should be kept in the stomach. There was a panic fear of getting fat. Wild hunger was satisfied with protein food. Only protein gives a long feeling of satiety. In addition, protein does not lead to the accumulation of fat, it leads to the growth of muscle mass with constant training, and the excess is simply excreted naturally. I started storing protein foods in my stomach first. I saw that nothing terrible happened to me, I didn’t get fat like a pig. And then slowly began to eat almost everything. But I try to eat mostly healthy food. I keep in shape with regular workouts, and if I see that I have accumulated subcutaneous fat, I sit down on a protein-carbohydrate alternation. But once a week there are attacks, I hope that I will get rid of it completely.

Attention

#50

Guest

All this is from idleness! Did you try to work?

ago

1

. ..

...

2

Release

The following topic

  • I am looking for weight loss

    50 answers

Previous theme

Prepare muscles for pain relief when starting to go to the gym

18 responses

I got over an eating disorder: stories of three girls who beat bulimia

Firsthand about how this disease proceeds, what causes and effects it has, and what can help get out of the vicious circle.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BoEKHKeFy27/

Not many people know that bulimia is a really serious disease that involves both the nervous and digestive systems. Particularly susceptible to this disorder are young girls who are prone to diets and are dissatisfied to some extent with their figure. But what are the consequences of such experiments on your own body and how to eventually overcome the problem and get "dry out of the water"?

Alas, they prefer to keep silent about this. That is why today we decided to share three motivating stories with a happy ending - namely, how the heroines of our today's material coped with bulimia.

Do not miss

  • Don't miss

    Be My Wife: Stories of Women Proposed to the Chimes

To be happy regardless of the number on the scales

After losing 6 kg, I stopped losing weight, because there was no activity, and I had to lie down for another six months. I was very upset by this, I was nervous to the point that I threw up, but I did not want to return to the 100+ mark.

I never deliberately vomited, it was enough for me to feel guilty for an extra piece of chicken I had eaten, as I immediately returned what I had eaten back. This is how I got bulimic.

I know from the experience of other girls that my illness did not last long, just over 6 months. Some girls live like this for years and cannot stop.

Bulimia is, first of all, a lack of self-acceptance and a desire to reduce your weight in any way, while you cannot stop eating, you seize every failure, you feel guilty, and then you run to the toilet. Thus, a vicious circle is obtained, which not everyone can break.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bmpzu7PFbZN/

Starting to study this issue more deeply, I realized that this is a psychological disorder, and if I don't start fighting it, most likely I won't be able to live normally.

Bulimia, due to the peculiarities of getting rid of food, leads to the following consequences:

  • exhaustion and wear and tear of the heart, when vomiting, the internal organs “jump” and shrink, this is an additional burden on the heart;
  • the stomach suffers, irritation of the walls due to the large amount of gastric juice and the lack of food, we digest ourselves;
  • as a consequence of gastric ulcer, intestinal;
  • gastritis and infectious diseases;
  • increased chance of developing stomach or duodenal cancer.

This list is very long. I made a choice for myself in favor of being a moderately overweight person rather than suffering from that list of consequences.

Although I was ill with bulimia for a short time, it left its mark on me. You can’t just fool nature and think that everything will be fine.

Bulimia is very noticeable externally: dull hair, skin problems, dryness, flaking, abnormal body odor. The face suffers greatly: peeling appears around the mouth, wrinkles deepen. The worst situation is inside, stomach cramps, pain appear, gastric juice irritates the esophagus and discomfort appears.

How did I get out of bulimia? First of all, I realized that it is disgusting, and I do not want to live like this. The realization that this will not lead to anything good is a very important thing, you need to make a decision to control your meals.

It was not easy, the urge to vomit was after every meal, but I decided that even if I ate more than I needed, it was my choice. Thus, I ate for 2 whole weeks, experiencing the urge to vomit and self-flagellation.

Then it became easier, but the portions did not decrease, with varying success I lost weight, then gained weight, and 6 kg returned to me, which I threw off before the onset of bulimia.

For bulimics, this is a big fear, but if you want to recover, it is important to understand that you need to normalize nutrition, body processes, work with your head, and then lose weight.

The second step was the support of loved ones, no one knew about my problem until I confessed. At my request, my family stopped buying sweets and calling me “for tea” with them, because I had a meal schedule.

Do not miss

  • Don't miss

    Who are sex bloggers, what do they look like and what do they do for a living? 3 stories of brave girls

The third step is to cut out the occasional snacks outside the home, so I stopped participating in eating "delicious things" at work. But this is only part of it related to nutrition. The problem is in the head. Usually we dwell on our “flaws” and think badly about ourselves, thereby driving ourselves into stress.

When struggling with bulimia, it is important to find the good in yourself, all bulimics hate their body, but as soon as you decide that it's time to quit, you need to stand in front of the mirror in your shorts and find something good in your body!

I'm serious! "How can you find something good if you hate yourself?" Difficult, but possible. This "something" doesn't have to be perfect, but it doesn't have to be disgusting. In my case, I focused on the legs, because even before the operation I liked to squat, and even despite the heavy weight, the legs looked the best.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bk5SVfMhWIo/

When “something” is found, you need to love it even more and improve it. It so happened that I pulled the rest of my body under my legs and it worked. When you begin to appreciate what you have and work on it, self-esteem and self-acceptance improve.

The final step in self-acceptance was the bodybuilding community - there I saw different girls, but they were all united by incredible charisma, positivity, and they were all really beautiful. And it doesn’t matter 100, 70, 50 kg beauty is a whole complex of work done, and not just a quality given by nature.

Now I can safely say - I got rid of bulimia! Her echo still haunts me, and I rake all these "jokes", but now I have experience and final acceptance of myself. I choose to be happy today regardless of the number on the scale.

Either I or she

The very first thing to do after realizing a problem is to tell everyone about it! To all those people who care about you and who can somehow help. Be prepared for misunderstanding on their part - not everyone knows this ailment. But make it clear to them that you need help.

I told my mother, daughter, sisters about it, read a bunch of articles, watched videos, talked about the symptoms, described the whole process so that they could stop me when needed. However, now, I can assure you one hundred percent that no one and nothing will stop a bulimic if a plan is already ripening in his head. Only he can help himself.

It was quite difficult to find really worthwhile information on the Internet, and then I began to delve into psychology. Studying and accepting the problem led me to the first remission in 11 years, which lasted 4-5 months ...

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm2NXoWlg-v/

During this time I was in complete control of the situation, there was not a single bout of overeating or vomiting. But then something went wrong, and once was enough for the remission to end.

After each such attack, there comes a feeling of emptiness and self-hatred, especially for people like me, who are used to being the first, ideal, achieving everything, who always control the situation, and not vice versa. In addition, there was a desire to perform intensive training, in the hope of forgetting and somehow compensating for the breakdown.

I also began to notice that after the breakdowns, the salivary glands and face began to swell strongly, the edema remained for a long time under the eyes and in the cheekbones. And if the food was hard (for example, carrots or nuts), it scratched the esophagus, and the throat hurt for another 2 days after that, as a reminder of my misconduct towards myself.

It's good that I didn't face the problem of hair and teeth loss (it happens to many people), but hormonal problems still didn't bypass me and I'm still recovering. My daughter, knowing about my attacks, always tried to control me and did not go to bed early to see if I went to the toilet again.

It wouldn't be so dramatic if all these bouts didn't coincide with the Bikini Fitness competition. I understood that they affect my form, which ideally suited the criteria for this category (in all European competitions I was in the final three).

https://www.instagram.com/p/BoYXr6tC-29/

Mom said that it was all the sport's fault and that I needed to stop, and indeed, for a while I blamed the sport. But I assure you, we just need to always blame someone or something for our failures, everyone but ourselves. From this follows the second thing to do - to take responsibility for your actions or inaction on yourself.

Strange, but when I realized that the whole problem is in me, in my head and stopped blaming my parents who broke up when I was a child, my grandmother who fed me, sports or a hard life, then I faced one on one with her (with bulimia) and realized that either I am her, or she is me!

This stage could not have happened without a psychologist who advised me to watch the film “Peaceful Warrior” – a story about the struggle with one's own shadow. So it was with me - I confronted my dark side. Sessions with a psychologist, of course, helped me.

During the sessions, banal questions arose to which I had no answers, and this made me delve into myself and my fears. But I realized that I have to do it myself. I often read that the bulimic cannot fix the problem on his own, but I know for sure that he can! And I must! And his successful or unsuccessful future will depend on victory or defeat. At the stage before the second remission, I clutched at the indisputable facts that were slowly pulling me out of this swamp. These were some catchphrases, life stories.

Then I started talking about this problem and began to receive feedback, and I also learned to recognize bulimics. I don’t know how, but I can immediately recognize “my own kind.” To my relief at the time, I began to learn that I was not the only one, and most of my colleagues in the Fitness Bikini scene did not escape this either. But it's better not to know! That is, the knowledge that you are not the only one to a large extent justifies your actions, and standing over the toilet with red eyes you think “well, I’m not the only one” ...

So what? And the third thing you can’t do is communicate with people like you! You can not share your experience of breakdowns with others! Give advice or life hacks on how to overeat so that you can easily induce vomiting.

https://www. instagram.com/p/BoDt-gBFoea/

You can't expect help from someone who can't help himself! Knowing that we are not alone does not save us from the problem, but exacerbates it even more. Although this knowledge helped me somehow. I realized that not everyone is as perfect as on the pages of Instagram and that you can’t jump above your head.

Since I often traveled to European competitions at that time and interacted with world-class athletes, I know many people who you would not even think that they also sometimes do not control their lives. So now, when I see how this famous athlete lays out chicken and zucchini for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I know that not everything is so smooth. And although it will be a long time before the next remission, but even then, like puzzles, the elements of my recovery began to take shape in my head, which began precisely with the understanding that I am a living person and I am not perfect.

Do not miss

  • Don't miss

    4 women's stories about how to quit smoking after 30 years

Bulimia - terminal

It was my childhood trauma, which did not help me much in my transitional age. Like all girls, in the 9th grade I was already preoccupied with my size. Now I remember that I was already 175 tall and weighed 65 kg. I thought it was a lot! And you need to lose weight. The first diet was kefir. I lost 2 kg in a week and was extremely happy. But not for long....

https://www.instagram.com/p/BjdNNFWgl0B/

All. And so it begins: childhood trauma (often a conflict with mom, by the way), adolescence which contributes to inappropriate eating behavior and not accepting your body - and then a war with yourself.

For the first 3 years, I felt like I was in control. That “one more time, but I won’t be there from Monday.” Are you familiar with such arguments?

As a result, I was drawn in for 14 years! As many as 14 bodies of daily enemas and infusions! I did not live, but existed from breakdown to breakdown. Constant thoughts: "what to eat, where to water." Did I lose weight? No.... Over these 14 years, I have gained almost 20 kg! Then I lost 10. My average weight was 75 kg. Then, on bulimia, I lost weight to 65-56 and again gained up to 68. There were terrible weight jumps, hormones did not help, my teeth deteriorated, my skin was pimples! Over the years I have had 3 suicide attempts. Two abandoned institutes, moving. But today my life is radically different...

Do not miss

  • Don't miss

    What the Most Exciting Professions Think About Their Jobs: 4 Flight Attendant Stories

Today I have been married for almost 10 years, I have 2 children, and I am getting a higher education. I live in Greece, I look great - slim and happy. Now I don’t diet, I don’t do enemas, I don’t diet, and I don’t watch my weight. I can afford to crack sunflower seeds at 1 am or eat 3 slices of pizza at night. I don't train every day and I don't belong to nutrition communities. Today I just eat according to my needs. I look at a personal request to my favorite body.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl8Bon6ghjK/

I am completely free from bulimia, despite the fact that 4 years ago I decided to seriously deal with the issue of freeing other girls from this addiction. I am outraged by many things in modern society about information about bulimia - where is it "treated" and how?

How did I get here? In this life, where is everything? And love for loved ones, and harmony without control, and love for the body, and knowing your place in life? Have I managed to get out of the water dry?

How can you live as if you never had bulimia? Is it possible to just eat / forget to eat / eat at night / eat without a carafe / not count calories and so on? Especially when half a lifetime to do it? Is it possible to retrain your brain to work differently?

My answer is definitely yes! "Bulimia is finite" is my motto. This is a life statement that I can prove! I'm not the only one. Before my eyes, dozens of girls have gone through the path of recovery over the past 3 years! So how did I succeed? What did I do?

Recovery is when you find all these and many other answers to these questions in yourself! That's where I started. I began to unwind the ball of my problems one by one, delving into the essence of the problem. My way out took about 3 years! That is, the release from bulimia took place gradually!

Awareness after awareness, change after change. I began to live my script and create my life, and not move by inertia or as taught / or as it should. I can't help but realize that the skew of my life began as a child after my parents divorced.

I started dealing with childhood trauma! It would seem, what does this have to do with the fact that at the age of 25 I can’t resist in the evenings so as not to clean myself? Directly! So, I began to sort out my childhood and let go of resentment towards my parents. I managed to find different techniques for working on myself, and then I had a conscious love for psychology (which I do to this day).

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgME_rmBqDx/

Then I started to understand my eating pattern. She just wasn't there! And I began to create it, gradually learning what my portion is, my breakfast, my dinner, and so on. I taught myself to love the body! But not “when I lose weight, then I will love myself”, but without conditions!

Through tears I come to terms with my narrow eyes, X-shaped legs, lack of a wasp waist, round cheeks. I changed my thinking towards myself and the world from negative and critical to kind and loving. I went to the best school in my personal life. And it all started when I woke up from an unsuccessful suicide and thought, “Well, that's it! I don't want to live like this anymore! Tired! I want to be free from bulimia."

This was the main beginning and the birth of the “from” motivation. However, later, when I became better in all respects, I did meet my future husband. And I formed a “K” motivation: I realized that HE + I + Bulimia = An impossible union.

Learn more