Getting over an addictive relationship
SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA
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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.
Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.
The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.
English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.
In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.
The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid.
If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.
The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.
No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.
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Suggested Resources
What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery.
Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.
For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.
Last Updated: 08/30/2022
Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs
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Misusing alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can have both immediate and long-term health effects.The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. NSDUH estimates allow researchers, clinicians, policymakers, and the general public to better understand and improve the nation’s behavioral health. These reports and detailed tables present estimates from the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).
Alcohol
Data:
- Among the 133.1 million current alcohol users aged 12 or older in 2021, 60.0 million people (or 45.1%) were past month binge drinkers.
The percentage of people who were past month binge drinkers was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (29.2% or 9.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (22.4% or 49.3 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (3.8% or 995,000 people). (2021 NSDUH) - Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 15.1% (or 5.9 million people) were past month alcohol users. Estimates of binge alcohol use and heavy alcohol use in the past month among underage people were 8.3% (or 3.2 million people) and 1.6% (or 613,000 people), respectively. (2021 NSDUH)
- In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (i.e., current alcohol users) (2020 NSDUH)
- Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44.4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)
- The percentage of people who were past month binge alcohol users was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (31.
4%) compared with 22.9% of adults aged 26 or older and 4.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH) - Excessive alcohol use can increase a person’s risk of stroke, liver cirrhosis, alcoholic hepatitis, cancer, and other serious health conditions
- Excessive alcohol use can also lead to risk-taking behavior, including driving while impaired. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver daily
Programs/Initiatives:
- STOP Underage Drinking interagency portal - Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
- Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
- Talk. They Hear You.
- Underage Drinking: Myths vs. Facts
- Talking with your College-Bound Young Adult About Alcohol
Relevant links:
- National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors
- Department of Transportation Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy & Compliance
- Alcohol Policy Information Systems Database (APIS)
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
Tobacco
Data:
- In 2020, 20.
7% of people aged 12 or older (or 57.3 million people) used nicotine products (i.e., used tobacco products or vaped nicotine) in the past month (2020 NSDUH) - Among past month users of nicotine products, nearly two thirds of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (63.1%) vaped nicotine but did not use tobacco products. In contrast, 88.9% of past month nicotine product users aged 26 or older used only tobacco products (2020 NSDUH)
- Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death, often leading to lung cancer, respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, and other serious illnesses. The CDC reports that cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States
- The CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health reports that more than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking cigarettes
Electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) use data:
- In 2021, 13.2 million people aged 12 or older (or 4.7%) used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month.
The percentage of people who vaped nicotine was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (14.1% or 4.7 million people), followed by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (5.2% or 1.4 million people), then by adults aged 26 or older (3.2% or 7.1 million people). - Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 11.0% (or 4.3 million people) used tobacco products or used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. Among people in this age group, 8.1% (or 3.1 million people) vaped nicotine, 5.4% (or 2.1 million people) used tobacco products, and 3.4% (or 1.3 million people) smoked cigarettes in the past month. (2021 NSDUH)
- Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2020 National Youth Tobacco Survey. Among both middle and high school students, current use of e-cigarettes declined from 2019 to 2020, reversing previous trends and returning current e-cigarette use to levels similar to those observed in 2018
- E-cigarettes are not safe for youth, young adults, or pregnant women, especially because they contain nicotine and other chemicals
Resources:
- Tips for Teens: Tobacco
- Tips for Teens: E-cigarettes
- Implementing Tobacco Cessation Programs in Substance Use Disorder Treatment Settings
- Synar Amendment Program
Links:
- Truth Initiative
- FDA Center for Tobacco Products
- CDC Office on Smoking and Health
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Tobacco, Nicotine, and E-Cigarettes
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: E-Cigarettes
Opioids
Data:
- Among people aged 12 or older in 2021, 3.
3% (or 9.2 million people) misused opioids (heroin or prescription pain relievers) in the past year. Among the 9.2 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 8.7 million people misused prescription pain relievers compared with 1.1 million people who used heroin. These numbers include 574,000 people who both misused prescription pain relievers and used heroin in the past year. (2021 NSDUH) - Among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 3.4% (or 9.5 million people) misused opioids in the past year. Among the 9.5 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 9.3 million people misused prescription pain relievers and 902,000 people used heroin (2020 NSDUH)
- According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Understanding the Epidemic, an average of 128 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose
Resources:
- Medication-Assisted Treatment
- Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit
- TIP 63: Medications for Opioid Use Disorder
- Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Opioid Use Disorder in Criminal Justice Settings
- Opioid Use Disorder and Pregnancy
- Clinical Guidance for Treating Pregnant and Parenting Women With Opioid Use Disorder and Their Infants
- The Facts about Buprenorphine for Treatment of Opioid Addiction
- Pregnancy Planning for Women Being Treated for Opioid Use Disorder
- Tips for Teens: Opioids
- Rural Opioid Technical Assistance Grants
- Tribal Opioid Response Grants
- Provider’s Clinical Support System - Medication Assisted Treatment Grant Program
Links:
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Opioids
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Heroin
- HHS Prevent Opioid Abuse
- Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America
- Addiction Technology Transfer Center (ATTC) Network
- Prevention Technology Transfer Center (PTTC) Network
Marijuana
Data:
- In 2021, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug, with 18.
7% of people aged 12 or older (or 52.5 million people) using it in the past year. The percentage was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (35.4% or 11.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (17.2% or 37.9 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (10.5% or 2.7 million people). - The percentage of people who used marijuana in the past year was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (34.5%) compared with 16.3% of adults aged 26 or older and 10.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
- Marijuana can impair judgment and distort perception in the short term and can lead to memory impairment in the long term
- Marijuana can have significant health effects on youth and pregnant women.
Resources:
- Know the Risks of Marijuana
- Marijuana and Pregnancy
- Tips for Teens: Marijuana
Relevant links:
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana
- Addiction Technology Transfer Centers on Marijuana
- CDC Marijuana and Public Health
Emerging Trends in Substance Misuse:
- Methamphetamine—In 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year.
Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia. - Cocaine—In 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
- Kratom—In 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors.
It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.
Resources:
- Tips for Teens: Methamphetamine
- Tips for Teens: Cocaine
- National Institute on Drug Abuse
More SAMHSA publications on substance use prevention and treatment.
Last Updated: 01/05/2023
What is a dependent relationship, how to recognize and how to deal with dependence on another person
Often people seek to get rid of autonomy in relationships, because it is very pleasant to correlate in plans, to feel sad, to feel closeness. But when it gains momentum, that “I can’t do without another person”, “I lose the image of myself” - that’s when the feeling of dependence on another person begins. What is dependent relationship in a couple told psychoanalyst Anna Kushneruk on the air "Breakfast.
Weekend"
It is very difficult for an addicted person to talk about his desires, his feelings, his confidence, his plans. Such a person builds his life around the plans of another person.
If the other person is unhappy, then automatically I will be unhappy too. His satisfaction means my safety.
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In a normal state, a person has many personal identities, for example: I am a doctor, I am a mother, I am a wife, and so on. A healthy person should be plural, have many different identifications. In a dependent relationship, a person ceases to have his own desires, begins to constantly please others and demand a good attitude towards himself for this.
If I do everything well, you will not have the right to be aggressive towards me. You have no right to treat me badly.
I bribe you with my kind attitude.
In a dependent relationship, a person constantly shows "fictitious obedience", represses his own aggressiveness and behaves better than he would like in order not to displease his partner.
How to detect addiction in a relationship
People in dependent relationships experience constant anxiety even where there is none. They depend on the mood of the other person and his condition. Very often, the husband is not guilty of depending on the woman. A woman simply strives to be a “good” mother and wife.
To be a good mother or wife does not mean to stop being yourself, to be a woman, and not just a mother, to be a specialist in a certain field, and not just a hostess. The questions to ask yourself are what I really want to do today. Often dependent people do not have an answer to this question.
How to stop being addicted to relationships
People who depend on relationships often, being alone, do not know what to do, because their own desires and strength to change something have long been gone.
As a rule, a woman wants to change something, but is afraid of the new environment and chooses the already familiar "quagmire" in which she has already adapted.
READ ALSO: Does appearance affect success and can it be argued that beautiful people are more successful (psychoanalyst comments) one
If a woman does not have her own desires and activities, if she does not go out anywhere, she will disappear . Therefore, a woman must remember that she is not only a mother, wife, not only service personnel or a housewife. In a dependent relationship a woman cannot be happy and loved .
Watch the video with Anna Kushneruk's advice on how to get out of a dependent relationship:
How to get rid of love addiction? — Perm information portal - 59i.ru
How to stop loving "too much"? How to get out of love addiction and fall out of love with a person? Is it possible? Many people ask themselves these questions and look for answers. Love addiction is very popular. This is a complex phenomenon, and the way out of it is not limited to a few simple steps. As with any addiction treatment, it takes a long process to get to the root of the problem. Psychotherapy or participation in support groups may be helpful. At the same time, it is important to remember that no one can replace your own efforts. What can you do for yourself? When should you start? Here are some tips to help you make the right decision. Learn how to get rid of love addiction.
What is love addiction?
A team of British scientists and doctors analyzed dozens of studies conducted between 1957 and 2016.
It turned out that there is a lot of evidence that at the neurological, biochemical and behavioral levels there are similarities between love addiction and addiction, for example, to cocaine. Scientists have identified 2 types of addiction: the first is similar to the normal symptoms of falling in love, but with a stronger attachment to a loved one, the second is manifested by the fact that people want to get closer to the object of love. Their feelings are so strong that they drive them to extreme, socially unacceptable actions, sometimes even toxic ones. The first type is softer and more common. There is one thing in common - the inability to build healthy relationships and a panic fear of loneliness. For this reason, it is difficult to break off a relationship that has not met the needs of both partners for a long time. Every addiction is associated with a sense of chaos, harming others, one's health, or one's professional life. Addiction can turn your life and the lives of your loved ones into a nightmare when the person you are interested in does not reciprocate or is toxic in personal relationships.
According to research, love addiction is a type of drug. This state provokes people to create risky and dangerous situations; alcohol or narcotic substances can set the same person. Love addiction is associated with a very strong desire, and when the source of addiction disappears, withdrawal symptoms develop. A person who loves "too much" experiences an obsessive need to connect, to see a partner. He wants to be closer and closer to him, he loses himself and gives up his other needs. When a partner disappears, the other person is left with nothing but pain, a feeling of emptiness and a thirst for love. To drown them out, a person who loves "too much" does not want to give up the relationship, fearing loneliness and rejection. He is ready for a lot, even for aggression or betrayal. He is driven by an obsession to control the life of another person and the desire to make him dependent on himself. He can't end the relationship. The addiction to love is an extremely difficult addiction, but it is said to be possible to get rid of it.
How to stop loving "too much"?
How to get rid of love addiction?
Getting rid of any addiction is a long process. It's about learning to love yourself and a new healthy lifestyle, as well as the ability to build healthy relationships. How to get rid of love addiction? The first step is to acknowledge yourself and admit that you are addicted and then make the decision to get rid of it.
1) Recognition of dependence
First you must admit that you are addicted and this obsession has taken control of your life. It's not easy, but without it, you won't be able to go through the next steps. Addiction is often difficult for women to admit because it is associated with weakness and failure. Meanwhile, this decision can be the greatest victory because it gives you a chance to heal.
2) Determine what is the addictive factor
The next step is to think about what you really depend on. The answer to this question will help solve the problem.
It can be an abusive relationship that is difficult to get rid of; constant surveillance of a partner; non-reciprocal love; memories of past relationships; inability to establish healthy relationships with other people. Each person must individually determine what he really depends on.
3) Compiling a list of losses
The next step is to make a list of losses that have happened due to your addiction. It can be destroyed social ties, job loss, unhealthy mental state. Perhaps it is the inability to establish healthy relationships with new people, depression or disagreement with oneself. It is worth taking into account and recording all the losses you have suffered. Then take a look at them. Appreciate the serious damage to your life caused by an unhealthy obsession with another person.
4) Giving up what is addictive
They say that the 4th stage is the most difficult for addicts. It's about deciding to let go of the addiction factor and take charge of your life. This is a period of abstinence, you should avoid behavior that prevents you from getting rid of addiction.
For example, if you are thinking about an old relationship, you should isolate yourself from your ex in every possible way. Cut contact completely, remove the person from social media, throw away the phone number, limit contact with mutual friends, and tell them not to mention your ex.
5) Make a plan for returning to normal life
The next step is to create two lists: things that can help you overcome addiction and factors that can interfere with recovery and which should be avoided. Think about what might help. Everyone should make a plan individually, because he knows better than anyone what makes him feel better and what does not. This can be, for example, a change of scenery or throwing away gifts left over from old relationships, cleaning the house.
6) Start working on personal development
The last step can only be fully realized when you have energy and strength, without active addiction. This is a good time to take action that will help build self-esteem, healthy love, and self-esteem.
