Getting out of depression after a breakup

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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

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Last Updated: 08/30/2022

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Depression after a breakup, how to get out of depression after a divorce

The relevance of the topic of depression after parting with a loved one will never disappear. Unfortunately, almost every one of us has experienced the pain of breaking up with our soulmate.

Many who have been affected by depression after parting with a boyfriend or girlfriend hear empty consolations from relatives and friends. Only for some reason these words do not help, but on the contrary, they leave an unpleasant aftertaste on the soul and the feeling that no one understands you.

You've probably heard the saying, "No one can help you until you help yourself." But how to do it, if hands fall and it seems that everything is hopelessly lost?

We invite you to look into this complex but extremely important topic together.

Getting out of depression after a breakup: where to start?

To begin with, let's try to understand: we were overwhelmed by depression after the breakup of relations, or this is a short-term subdepressive state.

Main symptoms of depression:

Emotional signs:

1. Depression, depressed mood.

2. Anticipation of trouble, constant anxiety.

3. Frequent self-accusation, feeling of guilt.

4. Loss of the ability to experience any feelings.

5. Irritability, aggression.

Physiological signs:

1. Insomnia or drowsiness.

2. Loss of appetite or overeating.

3. Pain all over the body.

4. Increased fatigue.

Behavioral signs:

1. The desire to limit any contacts.

2. Passivity.

3. Abuse of alcohol, other psychoactive drugs.

4. Slow thinking, difficulty concentrating.

If you have noticed most of the manifestations from this list in yourself, then you are depressed. Now, it is important to understand how to get rid of depression after a divorce from a loved one.

Getting out of depression after parting is possible only if we have found the true cause of this condition. And we need to fight it.

Parting with a man or woman who meant a lot in our lives leads to the collapse of plans, hopes and dreams. It turns out that we lose all reference points in life. We are at a crossroads and suffer, in fact, not from lost love, but from the fact that we do not know how to rebuild and begin to create a new reality.

Breaking up a relationship with a loved one often leads to low self-esteem. We are disappointed in ourselves, we begin to engage in self-digging and, of course, we conclude that we are not capable of anything. We are fixated on the fact that we will not succeed, we are afraid to take any step, and therefore we do not even try to change something.

It turns out a vicious circle. To overcome depression, you need to start making new plans, set goals and go towards them. But we cannot do this, because the fear of new failures does not allow us to move forward.

Now you know the main thing: in order for depression after a divorce from a husband or wife to go away, you need to increase self-esteem and start moving forward. This is quite hard work, but believe me, if not very quickly, but it will bear fruit.

Depression after a breakup: steps to overcome depression

It is worth noting that men and women have slightly different options for coping with depression.

So, how can a woman get out of depression after a divorce?

1. We take care of our appearance.

Haven't been to a beauty salon, shopping, gym for a long time? Right now.

Go to the mirror and look at your reflection. I do not like? Now remember that day when you left the house in a stylish dress, with a neat manicure, well-styled hair and beautiful makeup. You heard compliments from strangers and it certainly brought pleasure.

When you feel that you look worthy, you will want to go out. And this, in turn, will lead to new acquaintances, opportunities, and maybe new love.

2. Doing what we love.

For true careerists, a great option to cope with depression after a divorce is to give yourself to work. Women who have devoted themselves entirely to marriage probably have hobbies. That's why we give him the most attention.

New successes will add to your self-confidence. You will realize that you can do anything, you just have to make a little effort.

The following actions will help a man get out of depression.

1. We are implementing our plans.

Men are by nature more active than women. Therefore, they should not deviate from their goals. No matter how difficult and difficult it is, a man can be cured of depression by new achievements and victories.

2. We do not hide from society.

Find someone who will listen and support you. Believe me, talking about your problems and feelings is not a sign of weakness, it is a sure way to release emotions and overcome depression.

What is post-traumatic depression after the death of a loved one and how to cope with it? You can also find out about this on our website.

How to overcome depression after separation?

10 May 2019

24 May 2021

6 minutes

27884

ProWellness What to do?

Gap bridging steps

When the relationship is over, a breakup follows. Most often painful on at least one side. Any person goes through several stages after the end of a relationship:

Denial stage. A person tries to protect himself from what happened, as if it happened in the life of another.
Anger and accusations. The stage at which all the accusations go to the former partner.
Trading stages. At this time, thoughts arise about what to do if the partner decides to return, whether he should take revenge, whether it is worth fighting for him.
Depression. This is a state after a divorce, when it seems that there will be no more love in life, you will forever find yourself alone, and there is no way to live in such mental anguish. Under normal circumstances, this process should take no more than three weeks.
Acceptance stage. An understanding comes that divorce is only for the good, life is getting better, new acquaintances, new hobbies arise.

Valerian and Melissa - Essential Botanics anti-stress complex will help to provide a quick and long-lasting calming effect. It helps to reduce irritability, improves sleep quality and normalizes the emotional background. Active ingredients in optimal dosages gently affect the central nervous system without causing drowsiness.

The main calming mineral - magnesium in a bioavailable form, as well as a powerful set of anti-stress plant extracts contains the RELAX Box / Stress Protection complex. It provides an adequate response of the body to stress and rapid adaptation to nervous overload, and also helps to normalize the emotional background and relieve nervous excitement without inhibiting performance and concentration.

Attention! Depressive disorder lasts differently for everyone. It depends on the model of behavior during these experiences and the temperament of the person. For some, it drags on for years. But with proper work on yourself, it is normal to get out of depression after parting in a month.

Signs of depression

Most people who suffer from depression do not take any action to deal with it. Some simply do not consider their condition serious, someone does not know about ways to overcome depression, and others are not ready to admit that they suffer from depression. Depression has several characteristic features. They need to be recognized in order to get out of this state in time:

people look at the whole world from the negative side;
frequent thoughts of feeling sorry for oneself;
interest in appearance is lost, the woman ceases to care about how she is dressed, combed;
haunted by apathy, in some cases suicidal thoughts;
reduced self-esteem;
many phobias arise;
there is no way to concentrate, absent-mindedness appears;
efficiency and purposefulness decrease;
sleep problems, insomnia, nightmares;
constant fatigue appears;
the meaning of life disappears.

The condition is divided into two types depending on the nature of the person. There is a victim complex or an aggressor complex.

Aggressor complex. This is aggression directed at oneself. A person blames himself for parting, anger and bitterness appear. In such a period, a sense of revenge is born at the same time.
Victim complex. It happens more often among the fair sex. This complex is characterized by a feeling of sadness and helplessness. It seems to a person that nothing can be overcome, everything in life is bad and hopeless.

Attention! Any variant of prolonged depression can lead to serious disorders of not only mental but also physical health. The meaning of life is lost, self-esteem decreases.

What to do?

A person in a state of depression is in captivity of his emotions and is almost unable to control them. Often he is not able to get out of this state on his own and he needs the support of others. There are some basic tips on what to do after a breakup to overcome depression and move on with your life:

first of all it is necessary to get rid of the idea that a relationship with a former partner is still possible;
it is necessary to remove from your eyes everything that reminds you of a broken relationship: photographs, things of the former half, joint books;
devote yourself to your favorite business or find an exciting activity that you can immerse yourself in;
acquire new skills, master a new prestigious or highly paid profession in order to increase the level of professional and social recognition;
sports help against depression - a simple daily run in the fresh air is enough;
if possible, change the situation - travel, home renovation, change of residence or other changes are distracting and bring peace of mind back to normal;
follow a complete diet so that all vitamins and minerals, as well as omega-3 fatty acids, are present in the diet, then it will be easier for the body to overcome depression on its own;
write a letter to a former partner, state all the emotions there, then reread it several times if you want to cry and destroy the letter.
the most important thing is a positive attitude! And it can also be trained, like training muscles. There are various training techniques for controlling emotions, there are exercises for developing positive thinking, which can be found freely available on the Internet. Recently, even such a profession as a laughter therapist has appeared. He conducts individual and group sessions in which people laugh using a variety of laughing techniques.

Treat yourself to a healthy honey delicacy that will help reduce nervous excitement! Honey paste with meadowsweet, hawthorn, passionflower and lemon balm helps maintain the normal functioning of the cardiovascular system and strengthen the heart muscle, helping to keep stress under control.

Attention! If all of the above methods do not help, you need to contact a psychotherapist.

Disclaimer

Please note that all information posted on the site Prowellness is provided for informational purposes only and is not a personal program, a direct recommendation for action, or medical advice.

Learn more

Getting out of depression after a breakup

SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA

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Suggested Resources

SAMHSA Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator

FindTreatment.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

National Helpline

Disaster Distress Helpline