How does social media affect relationships


How Does Social Media Affect Relationships?

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Published: September 23, 2022 Updated: November 25, 2022

Published: 09/23/2022 Updated: 11/25/2022

Social media can connect us, but there are also pitfalls. It may be a problem in your relationship if you and your partner are having conflicts over (or spurred by) social media or are spending less quality time together. If this is the case, there are steps you can take to keep your relationship strong and put social media in its proper place.

If your life has been overtaken by social media, you don’t have to figure out how to move forward on your own. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.

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Social media has allowed us to be more aware and engaged in the lives of those we care about, including our partners. We can more readily communicate with them and we can see their daily happenings and feel more connected. However, social media can impact mental health and relationships by making people feel upset with what they see or what a partner chooses to share.

Social media has also made it possible for us to share our relationship with the world. This can be positive or negative, too. Sharing too much on social media can lessen intimacy in a relationship, and sharing too little can cause others to question the authenticity of it. Finding a healthy balance between sharing too much and not sharing enough is important for a healthy relationship.1

Although social media has many positive benefits, it has the potential to wreak havoc on a relationship. Some of the negative effects of social media and relationships include decreased time with a partner, missed connections, jealousy, conflict arising from disagreements or hurt feelings, and negative comparisons.

Decreased Time With Partner

Social media can impact relationships by decreasing the amount and quality of time spent together. 2 If someone is engrossed in social media, they are likely to miss or get irritated with a partner if they’re interrupted.

Whether we intend to or not, social media does decrease the quality time spent in a relationship, which can decrease our satisfaction and sense of connection – and ultimately lead to a social media addiction if left unchecked.

Negative Comparisons

Social media makes it much easier for us to negatively compare our relationship to other relationships or our partner to other people. This can impact our commitment to our relationship, leading to betrayal and possibly the demise of the relationship.

According to a recent study, the larger the role social media plays in a person’s life, the less satisfying their romantic relationships are.3 People may see what’s happening in other relationships and falsely compare, causing relationship satisfaction to decrease.

Missed Bids

In relationships, we all make “bids” for connection. This can be as simple as asking a question or reaching for a hand, or it can be more involved, such as seeking emotional support from our partner during a difficult time. Regardless of the bid, a partner can either turn toward you (respond positively), turn away (intentionally or unintentionally ignore), or turn against (respond negatively).

There are missed bids in every relationship, but research conducted by Dr. John Gottman revealed that, in healthy relationships, couples respond positively to one another’s bids about 86% of the time.4 Something I hear a lot in my work with couples is that people often miss their partner’s bids when they’re distracted by social media. Although this is usually an unintentional turn away, it has the same impact on your partner as an intentional turn away, making them feel less important than social media.

Although a missed bid here and there will not negatively impact the relationship too much, if this becomes a habit, it can have lasting detrimental effects.

Jealousy

Jealousy in a relationship usually stems from when there is potential attraction or ongoing interactions with exes. You may see an interaction between your partner and someone they may be attracted to and interpret something between them that may or may not be there.

Social media may also cause “retroactive jealousy,” which occurs when a person feels upset about their partner’s romantic history despite ex-partners not being a factor in the current relationship.5 This stems from seeing digital remnants of former romantic relationships, social comparison (like comparing yourself to your partner’s ex), or uncertainty, which occurs when seeing your partner’s past on social media makes you question the stability of the relationship.

Conflict Stemming From Disagreements or Hurt Feelings

Couples may find themselves in relationship conflict around differing beliefs about what is acceptable on social media. For example, you may believe in blocking exes from social media while your partner disagrees. Or, you may post something that your partner didn’t want shared. Or, you may not post something your partner wished you would share. These actions can all lead to hurt feelings and potential conflict.

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Social media also has the potential to positively impact your relationship. According to one study, positive impacts can happen through partners’ public expressions of affection and mutual information sharing.6 For some, it gives them peace of mind knowing what their partner is up to.

Connects Long-distance Couples

There are examples of social media helping relationships. For example, it can be useful for couples in a long-distance relationship. If they have to be long distance for a period of time, social media can help them feel more connected. They have easy access to one another’s everyday lives and moments they otherwise would not be privy to.

Helps Single People Meet

Social media is a great way to meet single people. Online dating such as dating websites and dating apps are here for good. In an age where a lot more happens virtually, meeting people online and forming relationships and friendships that way seems to be the story of how a lot of people meet these days. Social media can connect you to single groups, adventure groups, dates, and new friends, all from your home. It can be a great way to get to know someone with very little risk.

Provides Access to Expert Information

Social media can be a great tool to access expert information. There is a lot of information available out there, and while some of it may not be from credible sources, there is a lot of wonderful and rich content available for just about any subject. It’s important to look for evidence that your sources of information are reliable and credible. Learning about the type of information available and what other resources are available, like media platforms and concrete tools, it can open up a lot.

Hopefully, social media is impacting your relationship positively (or not at all). But if you are like most couples, social media may be impacting your relationship in a negative way. If so, it is important to recognize the signs early so you can take action before too much damage has been done.

Here are some signs that social media is affecting your relationship:

  • Decreased quality time together (particularly in the evenings, which should be time for the two of you to reconnect at the end of the day)
  • A feeling of distance or disconnect
  • Learning about important events in your partner’s life through social media instead of directly from them
  • Obsessively checking your partner’s social media to make sure they are not doing something you disapprove of
  • An increase in conflict regarding social media use, posts, etc.
  • Secrecy between the two of you regarding your social media accounts and posts
  • Negative body image issues due to comparisons or unrealistic standards on social media

7 Tips For Reclaiming Your Time & Your Relationship

If any of the above warning signs are true in your relationship, it is time to make some changes, including setting some boundaries, putting social media in its place, increasing your communication with your partner, and prioritizing your relationship.

Here are seven tips for prioritizing your relationship over social media:

1. Set Boundaries Regarding Social Media Time

Establishing boundaries in relationships will look different for every couple, but it is important to establish times when it’s okay to be on social media and times you will be fully present, as well as potentially planning longer social media breaks here and there.

We all have what Dr. John Gottman calls “rituals of connection.7 These are points in the day that routine things happen that help us stay connected to one another (e.g., dinnertime, bedtime, catching up on one another’s day). It is crucial that these rituals of connection do not get overtaken by screen time.

This is a place where you can set some boundaries. For example, no social media at the dinner table or after 9 pm. Whatever boundaries you and your partner set, it is important that you both agree with them and continue to abide by them.

2. Plan Quality Time Together Weekly

We all have busy lives, but if we fail to intentionally make time for our relationship, it will suffer. Couples need to schedule a weekly date (two hours or more) during which they are present with one another and not distracted. Phones and social media should not be part of this scheduled time.

You can plan something fun together or just hang out and talk, but you must be engaged with one another. It can help to take turns planning these dates so the responsibility doesn’t fall on one person.

3. Be Cognizant of What You Are Posting

A loving, committed relationship means that you think about your partner as you make decisions. Before posting to your social media account, stop and ask yourself how your partner will feel about it. Keep them in mind as you make these decisions. Also, make sure you’re not using social media to post relationship concerns. Your partner deserves to hear your concerns directly from you.

4. Be Transparent & Honest

Too many relationships face betrayals as a result of social media. A betrayal in a relationship isn’t just an emotional or physical affair (which can often occur through social media). Lying or withholding information to avoid conflict or spare your partner’s feelings is also a betrayal. Be open and honest with your partner about who you’re connecting with on social media, even if you think they’ll dislike it.

Having a difficult conversation is always better than your partner finding out you were hiding something. If you think your partner will be upset about something, it is probably something you shouldn’t be doing in the first place. If something happens on a social media platform, share it with your partner and work through it together. Conflict is an opportunity to grow together and to build trust in the relationship.

5. Communicate & Find Compromises When Needed

You and your partner may have different views and beliefs about the role social media plays in your lives, and what is OK vs. not OK. When you come across a disagreement, respect your partner’s perspective and try to understand them, even if you disagree.

You do not need to change your perspective to fit your partner’s, but you do need to listen to them, try to understand, and allow their different perspective to influence you. They need to do the same. From this place, you can begin to work on finding compromises that take both your perspectives into account as needed.

6. Try a Social Media Detox

A social media detox can be a great way to reclaim your time. Deactivating your social media accounts is a great way to do this. It can be hard to have constant access to content and mindlessly scrolling can make you lose track of time and worsen your mental health and the health of your relationship.

7. Delete Apps Off Your Phone

We have our phones on us constantly, so aside from taking time out of your day to put your phone away, such as during meal times, it can be challenging to keep your phone away and keep yourself off the apps. However, deleting social media apps from your phone can be a good way to allow yourself to have your phone with you without constantly being on social media.

When & How to Find Relationship Help

If you get stuck navigating social media and relationships, it may be time to seek the help of a qualified couples therapist. If you have tried to communicate but you find yourself continuing to have the same conversation over and over or find that your conversations escalate, a couples therapist can help you make progress and find relationship happiness again.

Another time to seek help is if you and your partner are feeling increasingly distant and disconnected. Although all relationships go through ups and downs, if you are having difficulty reconnecting, a couples therapist can help.

Additionally, if you and your partner have experienced a betrayal as a result of social media, such as an affair or dishonesty, a qualified mental-health professional can help you heal from the betrayal and move forward in the relationship. If you choose to end the relationship as a result of a betrayal, a therapist can help you navigate the separation.

How to Find a Therapist

If you and your partner have decided it is time to find a couples therapist, you can locate a qualified mental health professional using an online therapist directory, or you might consider asking for a recommendation from trusted friends or family members.

Social media can help people stay connected to family and friends, but it can negatively impact other relationships. You do not have to ban social media from your lives completely to stop that from happening. With some awareness, communication, and boundaries, you can positively shift the impact social media has on your relationship.

Additional Resources

Education is just the first step on our path to improved mental health and emotional wellness. To help our readers take the next step in their journey, Choosing Therapy has partnered with leaders in mental health and wellness. Choosing Therapy may be compensated for marketing by the companies mentioned below.

BetterHelp (Online Therapy) – BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you. Get Started

Online-Therapy.com – Receive help from a caring professional. The Online-Therapy.com standard plan includes a weekly 45 minute video session, unlimited text messaging between sessions, and self-guided activities like journaling. Recently, they added Yoga videos. Get Started

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7 sources

Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.

  • Wilkerson, K.T, (2017). Social Networking Sites and Romantic Relationships: Effects on Development, Maintenance, and Dissolution of Relationships. Inquiries Journal, Volume 9 (3), 1/1. Retrieved from http://www.inquiriesjournal.com/articles/1576/social-networking-sites-and-romantic-relationships-effects-on-development-maintenance-and-dissolution-of-relationships

  • Christensen, S.P. (2018). Social Media Use and Its Impact on Relationships and Emotions (Publication No. 6927) [Master’s Thesis, Brigham Young University]. All Theses and Dissertations. https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=7927&context=etd

  • Yacoub, C., Spoede, J., Cutting, R., & Hawley, D. (2018). The Impact of Social Media on Romantic Relationships. Journal of Education and Social Development, Volume 2 (2), pages 53-58. Retrieved from http://ibii-us.org/Journals/JESD/V2N2/Publish/V2N2_10.pdf

  • Gottman, J.M. & DeClaire, J. (2001). The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships. New York, NY: Harmony Books.

  • Frampton, J.R. & Fox, J. (2018). Social Media’s Role in Romantic Partners’ Retroactive Jealousy: Social Comparison, Uncertainty, and Information Seeking. Sage Journals, Volume 4(3). Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2056305118800317

  • Utz, S. & Beukeboom, C.J. (2011). The Role of Social Network Sites in Romantic Relationships: Effects on Jealousy and Relationship Happiness. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, Volume 16, Issue 4, Pages 511–527. Retrieved from https://academic.oup.com/jcmc/article/16/4/511/4067649

  • Gottman, J.M. & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.

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  • Originally Published: July 8, 2021
    Original Author: Kimberly Panganiban, LMFT
    Original Reviewer: Naveed Saleh, MD, MS

  • Updated: September 23, 2022
    Author: No Change
    Reviewer: No Change
    Primary Changes: Updated for readability and clarity. Reviewed and added relevant resources. Revised “The Positive Effects of Social Media On Relationships” and added new tips to “7 Tips For Reclaiming Your Time & Your Relationship”. New material written by Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C and reviewed by Kristen Fuller, MD.

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How does social media affect relationships?

Social media can affect all types of relationships in both positive and negative ways.

People can use social media to stay connected to long-distance friends and family members or improve communication with their partners, children, and healthcare professionals.

In contrast, social media use can lead to less quality in-person time spent with loved ones and relationship dissatisfaction. These drawbacks may be related to pre-existing relationship issues or psychological conditions.

This article examines three positive and negative ways social media can affect relationships.

Social media can affect relationships in the following positive ways.

1. Helps boost connectivity

According to recent research, social media use has a positive impact on social connection if people use it actively.

Family members and friends do not always live in the same city, or even the same state or country. Social media platforms such as Instagram and Facebook are quick and convenient ways for long-distance loved ones to stay in touch.

People can post updates about themselves and others in their lives, such as spouses and children, as well as share photos of vacations and other important family events. Additionally, people can tweak their privacy levels and share more personal information or pictures through individual or group messages.

These and other social media apps provide ways for people to video chat in real-time, further helping them feel more connected.

2. Helps improve communication

Margaret E. Morris, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of Left to Our Own Devices: Outsmarting Smart Technology to Reclaim Our Relationships, Health, and Focus, conducted a 2020 review of how people in various types of relationships use technology. Morris found that it is not the specific type of technology people use but how they use it that can bring value to the partnership.

Morris discusses the benefits of various types of technology. One example is a parent sharing a self-help app with a child to work through an argument. In discussing romantic relationships, Morris highlights how sharing images via social media can also feel like an extra way to communicate. Using tools such as WhatsApp, and texting through an argument, may also help some people communicate through writing. This allows a person time and space to formulate the right words when face-to-face conversations prove difficult.

3. Aids sexual gratification

Concerning romantic relationships, social media might actually help partners achieve sexual gratification. More specifically, this refers to pornography consumption on social media.

During a 2019 study involving 379 participants, researchers found pornography consumption may significantly help a person’s sexual gratification in their romantic relationships. However, the degree to which participants felt this improvement was dependent on the person’s sexual confidence and sexual compulsivity.

Learn more about the benefits and risks of pornography usage here.

The following are some negative ways in which social media can impact relationships.

1. Fuels functional impairments

Substituting social media interactions for face-to-face communication may impact not only existing relationships but also the ability to form new relationships.

For example, while some researchers note the necessity for more research on social anxiety and social media use, it is possible for people with social anxiety to experience continued functional impairments — e.g., being uncomfortable or unable to form and engage in face-to-face relationships — when they replace in-person interactions with social media use.

Furthermore, failing to make or maintain in-person relationships may also appear as a consequence of social media use.

During a 2021 study at Prince Sattam bin Abdulaziz University in Saudi Arabia, researchers found that more than half (59%) of the 300 participants reported prolonged use of social media had impacted their social interactions, negatively affecting family relationships and friendships while also making face-to-face communication more difficult. However, the study consisted only of students who identified as female aged 17–29 years, so more research is necessary.

2. Decreases quality time and relationship satisfaction

Excessive social media use can negatively impact quality time, create conflict, and reduce relationship satisfaction — whether the relationship is romantic or not.

During a 2021 study, researchers used Instagram and the app’s time-tracking capability to learn more about the connection between social media and relationship satisfaction.

They found an increase in Instagram usage led to a decrease in relationship satisfaction and an increase in conflict and negative outcomes. Furthermore, the dissatisfaction, conflict, and negative outcomes triggered an addictive use of Instagram.

On the flipside, making daily sacrifices for the relationship partner had a positive effect on relationship satisfaction and decreased the likelihood of conflict and negative outcomes.

However, there is also the issue of phubbing — the act of snubbing a person in a social setting by focusing on one’s smartphone. For example, if two people sit down for a face-to-face conversation and one continues to scroll social media apps and check notifications, that person is phubbing the other.

Numerous studies and research materials show that many people feel phubbing is rude and goes against social norms. Phubbees, or people who have experienced phubbing, report a reduced sense of emotional connection, empathetic concern, and interpersonal trust.

Additionally, phubbing may lead to heightened jealousy between romantic partners, as well as weaken their bond and lower their satisfaction with the relationship.

3. Provides an avenue for infidelity-related behaviors

“Infidelity-related behaviors,” such as communicating with alternative partners, can lead to relationship dissatisfaction, breakups, and divorce. Social media provides such an avenue for those behaviors.

While there is not much empirical evidence regarding social media infidelity-related behaviors (SMIRB) and marital relationships, there is growing research on the topic.

For example, researchers conducted a 2017 survey of 338 married or cohabiting partners on SMIRB. In addition to existing materials such as the Quality of Marriage Index and Experiences in Close Relationship Scale-Short Form, participants completed a survey specific to this study. Question topics revolved around online activities, emotions, and secrecy.

A small percentage of people reported participating in social media infidelity-related behaviors. However, researchers found that more participation in these behaviors was significantly related to lower relationship satisfaction, higher relationship ambivalence, and other relationship concerns.

Regardless of the relationship type, ideas for managing social media use around relationships include:

  • putting away their smartphones while spending time together
  • planning activities that do not leave space or time for scrolling
  • leaving their phones outside the bedroom
  • avoiding reaching out to old romantic relationships

Tips for general social media management

Ways to manage social media usage during everyday life include:

  • moving social media apps away from the home screen or into folders
  • turning off social media notifications
  • installing internet browser extensions that limit or block social media access on computers
  • setting time limits for using social media apps on smartphones — for example, through iPhone’s built-in Screen Time feature or Android’s built Digital Wellbeing
  • committing to a social media detox

Additionally, social media may bring risks unrelated to relationships.

For example, social media use — including problematic social media use — may:

  • have associations with mental health concerns such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem — although some studies have limitations
  • spread misinformation about health issues
  • exacerbate existing dangerous behaviors, for example, the possible link between social media and heavy alcohol consumption
  • lead to less physical activity and poor sleep patterns
  • decrease productivity at home, school, and work

Learn more about social media and mental health here.

Social media can have both positive and negative effects on interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships.

While the advantages of social media and relationships tend to occur naturally, the disadvantages seem to be associated with existing relationship problems or underlying psychological concerns.

It is important for people to manage social media usage, as too much time spent on social media can negatively impact numerous aspects of life.

How social media has changed our relationship

March 15 Relations

The Internet expands our social circle, but provokes loneliness.

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Increased the risk of breaking up a relationship

Social networks do not have the best effect on romantic relationships. Scientists have found that the more often people visit such sites, the higher the risk of separation, emotional or physical infidelity.

This is not the only study with a similar result. The scientists looked at the relationship between quarrels and the use of various social networks and did not find a big difference between Facebook *, Twitter and other sites. One of the reasons for disagreements is jealousy, which is not always unfounded.

It was the Internet that led to the emergence of the term "micro-changes". These include various manifestations of online flirting, including numerous likes. Of course, a lot here depends on the suspicion of the partner, but it is obvious: there were no social networks - there were no such problems.

Increased the severity of the breakup

The “out of sight, out of mind” algorithm does not work if former partners virtually stalk each other, check the pages of their current lovers, count likes, try on thoughtful statuses. Because of this, it becomes even more difficult to survive a breakup.

Simplified communication

Even if family members have moved around the world, it is easier for them to keep in touch: grandmothers can follow the achievements of their grandchildren, adult children can always be in touch with elderly parents. Relatives have the opportunity to call in conference mode to chat.

At the same time, personal and Internet communication begin to compete. However, they are not always equal. The latter excludes touch, and this is also a way of expressing emotions. That is why it is important to strive for balance.

Inna Makarenko

Psychologist.

Communicating live, you see the emotions and reactions of a person, empathy and the ability to correctly assess the true meaning of the interlocutor's words develop, the skill of “reading” people is being developed, and communication is correctly built.

Expanded the circle of contacts

At least potentially. Social networks allow you to communicate with a huge number of people from different parts of the world - there would be a desire. You can chat not only with a colleague or friend, but also with the stars - some celebrities read the comments and respond to them themselves.

Simplified networking

Making connections has become easier. Before the advent of social media, this required active participation in industry events and communication. All this works now. You can also add people as friends on social networks, create cool posts in your feed, and periodically comment on other people's posts.

This not only gives the illusion of knowing a person. You see more ideas and resources, you are the first to know about interesting vacancies, you can ask for the opinion of professionals if you have questions.

However, there are nuances here. As social capital increases, the rich get even richer. But for those who have few connections, it is difficult to develop relationships.

Increased loneliness

The social circle is growing, but this does not relieve social network users from loneliness. Moreover, it can be "contagious". According to research, if someone among your online friends is lonely, it can spread to you. Moreover, the effect - albeit smaller - you will feel from "friends of friends."

The constant comparison of oneself with other users contributes to the feeling of loneliness. It seems to a person that everyone else lives more interestingly. And at the same time, he spends watching the tape that precious time in which he could make his own life better.

Inna Anisimova

General Director of the PR Partner agency.

Relations with subscribers are a priority for many. In social networks, we can present an ideal image of ourselves, there is an opportunity to filter out flaws. Meeting people offline, being yourself is becoming more and more difficult in society. Therefore, relationships with those with whom you have gone through a lot are so valuable: they know who you really are.

Complicated face-to-face communication

According to psychologist Elena Svetlaya, quite often clients come with the following problem: on the Internet it is easy to be sociable, open, uninhibited, but when you meet in person, all this disappears.

Elena Svetlaya

Psychologist.

People lose themselves, cease to trust themselves and see their true image - without retouching, without falsehood, without Internet embellishment. It is very important that in real life there is no opportunity to take a break to come up with a joke, to respond with sarcasm. People have forgotten how to react instantly!

There is only one antidote: communicate more live.

How has social media changed your relationship? Share in the comments.

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*Activities of Meta Platforms Inc. and its social networks Facebook and Instagram are prohibited in the territory of the Russian Federation.

Test yourself: how social networks affect your relationships

Social networks are an integral part of life today. We asked psychotherapist Louise Gilmanova to tell us what doctors think about their impact on relationships with the opposite sex.

Why are we so addicted to the perfect picture in social networks and why is it dangerous for relationships?

The use of social networks is understandable from the point of view of human nature, as Aristotle said: man is a social animal, we are interested in showing ourselves and observing others. Smiling lovers on vacation by the ocean, radiant children in clean clothes, an expensive gift presented to a famous blogger - you want to follow such stories.

But along with the idealization of someone else's life, there is a devaluation of our own feelings: being drawn into the race for the ideal, we stop appreciating what we ourselves have. And we forget that in reality, relationships require conversations and honesty, children are capricious, and life is not always like a picture from Instagram.

Is it normal to compare one's life with someone else's?

There is nothing wrong with the comparison itself. But when this comparison becomes too much, and it is always not in your direction, it becomes more difficult to notice true feelings and interests. So ask yourself the question: are you driven by your own desires or imposed by images from social networks?

@leoniehanne

Can social media ruin relationships?

Excessive fascination with someone else's life, watching it like a TV series, develops a distance between reality and a fairy tale. In a deep, healthy relationship, you are not afraid to show vulnerability, imperfection - this is the only way partners build a connection.

But social networks impose other rules: sincerity can be considered a weakness, and image comes to the fore. The imposed expectations of themselves and their partner are so high that people may mistakenly conclude that there is something wrong with my relationship (or with me/my partner).

An additional dangerous moment lies in the risk of jealousy: there is a desire to find out about the subscriptions and likes of your partner: who he watches, whom he writes to, whose photos attract his attention. The desire to follow, the craving for control - in this case, a way to keep abreast: if something goes wrong, you can prevent the terrible.

In fact, everything works differently: a jealous person is driven by the fear of rejection, which in itself spoils mutual understanding. This is due to unstable self-esteem, as well as the fear of a hidden threat in the form of a more interesting person, which increases self-doubt.

How can you help yourself and your partner cope with the influence of social networks?

We need to talk more - with ourselves and with each other. Written practices work well: honestly write down on paper the answers to the questions: “What do I want from a relationship?”, “Where do I get the model of interaction with a partner?” or “What am I missing?”

Understanding yourself will greatly simplify your communication. Any person has his pros and cons, and their analysis will help to see a real person nearby, and not a projection of a fictitious image. After all, in fact, relationships deteriorate most of all due to erroneous expectations.

@realbarbarapalvin

And what if you take and give up social networks?

Everything is individual. One of the advantages of social networks is that they help to highlight problems in relationships, thus making them normal, removing the taboo from discussing "shameful" topics.

Social networks are a good servant, but a bad master. Try to strike a balance and use them to your advantage. The same Instagram makes recommendations from psychologists available to us, for example. And how many couples met thanks to social networks!

Now there is a trend towards honesty: we read about other people's problems, divorces become public. Is it good or bad?

On the one hand, this is a way to share your pain, an opportunity to show that problems in relationships happen - and this is normal. But personal responsibility and the ability of each person to protect themselves are important here, so take care of personal boundaries.

Social networks are removing censorship, and in many ways this is great, but the risk of intrusion into your private area is also great. Therefore, it is so important to know and hear yourself in order to protect yourself from painful content in time.

How to use social networks without harm to the psyche:

5 tips from a psychologist
  1. More content, good and different!
    Follow your feelings as you scroll through the feed. It’s bad if subscriptions cause unpleasant emotions, or you start to scold yourself, feel less beautiful / significant / important. Analyze your subscriptions: the more different opinions, resonant content on social networks, the lower the likelihood of toxic influence.
  2. Art belongs to everyone
    The most amazing thing social media can give you is inspiration. Try to shift the focus of perception to this - a beautiful dress should not inspire a sense of inferiority that you do not have money for it, but a feeling of admiration for the designer's skill.
  3. Set boundaries
    Any communication is a contact, and we must be responsible for our own actions. For safety reasons, it is important to ask yourself what you want to share and what you want to keep to yourself, what is acceptable for you and how not to behave, what topics you enjoy and what you should avoid. And in accordance with this, build your digital environment.
  4. Throw a circle to a drowning man
    Behind the desire to sit senselessly for hours, scrolling through the tape, there may be a desire to get away from the routine or an urgent problem, banal fatigue or other feelings.
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