Eq emotional intelligence definition
Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ) - HelpGuide.org
emotional intelligence
When it comes to happiness and success in life, EQ matters just as much as IQ. Learn how you can boost your emotional intelligence, build stronger relationships, and achieve your goals.
What is emotional intelligence or EQ?
Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you.
Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:
- Self-management – You're able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
- Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
- Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.
- Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.
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Why is emotional intelligence so important?
As we know, it's not the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships.
Intellectual ability or your intelligence quotient (IQ) isn't enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it's your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one another.
Emotional intelligence affects:
Your performance at school or work. High emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging important job candidates, many companies now rate emotional intelligence as important as technical ability and employ EQ testing before hiring.
Your physical health. If you're unable to manage your emotions, you are probably not managing your stress either. This can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure, suppresses the immune system, increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes, contributes to infertility, and speeds up the aging process.
The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to manage stress.
Your mental health. Uncontrolled emotions and stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand, get comfortable with, or manage your emotions, you'll also struggle to form strong relationships. This in turn can leave you feeling lonely and isolated and further exacerbate any mental health problems.
[Read: Building Better Mental Health]
Your relationships. By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you're better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.
Your social intelligence. Being in tune with your emotions serves a social purpose, connecting you to other people and the world around you. Social intelligence enables you to recognize friend from foe, measure another person's interest in you, reduce stress, balance your nervous system through social communication, and feel loved and happy.
Building emotional intelligence: Four key skills to increasing your EQ
The skills that make up emotional intelligence can be learned at any time. However, it's important to remember that there is a difference between simply learning about EQ and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn't mean you will—especially when you become overwhelmed by stress, which can override your best intentions. In order to permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to overcome stress in the moment, and in your relationships, in order to remain emotionally aware.
The key skills for building your EQ and improving your ability to manage emotions and connect with others are:
- Self-management
- Self-awareness
- Social awareness
- Relationship management
Building emotional intelligence, key skill 1: Self-management
In order for you to engage your EQ, you must be able to use your emotions to make constructive decisions about your behavior.
When you become overly stressed, you can lose control of your emotions and the ability to act thoughtfully and appropriately.
Think about a time when stress has overwhelmed you. Was it easy to think clearly or make a rational decision? Probably not. When you become overly stressed, your ability to both think clearly and accurately assess emotions—your own and other people's—becomes compromised.
[Read: Stress Management]
Emotions are important pieces of information that tell you about yourself and others, but in the face of stress that takes us out of our comfort zone, we can become overwhelmed and lose control of ourselves. With the ability to manage stress and stay emotionally present, you can learn to receive upsetting information without letting it override your thoughts and self-control. You'll be able to make choices that allow you to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
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Key skill 2: Self-awareness
Managing stress is just the first step to building emotional intelligence. The science of attachment indicates that your current emotional experience is likely a reflection of your early life experience. Your ability to manage core feelings such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy often depends on the quality and consistency of your early life emotional experiences. If your primary caretaker as an infant understood and valued your emotions, it's likely your emotions have become valuable assets in adult life. But, if your emotional experiences as an infant were confusing, threatening or painful, it's likely you've tried to distance yourself from your emotions.
But being able to connect to your emotions—having a moment-to-moment connection with your changing emotional experience—is the key to understanding how emotion influences your thoughts and actions.
Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after another as your experiences change from moment to moment?
Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you experience in places like your stomach, throat, or chest?
Do you experience individual feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy, each of which is evident in subtle facial expressions?
Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both your attention and that of others?
Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision making?
If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, you may have “turned down” or “turned off” your emotions.
In order to build EQ—and become emotionally healthy—you must reconnect to your core emotions, accept them, and become comfortable with them. You can achieve this through the practice of mindfulness.
[Listen: Mindful Breathing Meditation]
Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment—and without judgment. The cultivation of mindfulness has roots in Buddhism, but most religions include some type of similar prayer or meditation technique. Mindfulness helps shift your preoccupation with thought toward an appreciation of the moment, your physical and emotional sensations, and brings a larger perspective on life. Mindfulness calms and focuses you, making you more self-aware in the process.
Developing emotional awareness
It's important that you learn how to manage stress first, so you'll feel more comfortable reconnecting to strong or unpleasant emotions and changing how you experience and respond to your feelings.
You can develop your emotional awareness by using HelpGuide's free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit.
Social awareness enables you to recognize and interpret the mainly nonverbal cues others are constantly using to communicate with you. These cues let you know how others are really feeling, how their emotional state is changing from moment to moment, and what's truly important to them.
[Read: Effective Communication]
When groups of people send out similar nonverbal cues, you're able to read and understand the power dynamics and shared emotional experiences of the group. In short, you're empathetic and socially comfortable.
Mindfulness is an ally of emotional and social awareness
To build social awareness, you need to recognize the importance of mindfulness in the social process. After all, you can't pick up on subtle nonverbal cues when you're in your own head, thinking about other things, or simply zoning out on your phone. Social awareness requires your presence in the moment.
While many of us pride ourselves on an ability to multitask, this means that you'll miss the subtle emotional shifts taking place in other people that help you fully understand them.
- You are actually more likely to further your social goals by setting other thoughts aside and focusing on the interaction itself.
- Following the flow of another person's emotional responses is a give-and-take process that requires you to also pay attention to the changes in your own emotional experience.
- Paying attention to others doesn't diminish your own self-awareness. By investing the time and effort to really pay attention to others, you'll actually gain insight into your own emotional state as well as your values and beliefs. For example, if you feel discomfort hearing others express certain views, you'll have learned something important about yourself.
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Key skill 4: Relationship management
Working well with others is a process that begins with emotional awareness and your ability to recognize and understand what other people are experiencing. Once emotional awareness is in play, you can effectively develop additional social/emotional skills that will make your relationships more effective, fruitful, and fulfilling.
Become aware of how effectively you use nonverbal communication. It's impossible to avoid sending nonverbal messages to others about what you think and feel. The many muscles in the face, especially those around the eyes, nose, mouth and forehead, help you to wordlessly convey your own emotions as well as read other peoples' emotional intent. The emotional part of your brain is always on—and even if you ignore its messages—others won't. Recognizing the nonverbal messages that you send to others can play a huge part in improving your relationships.
Use humor and play to relieve stress. Humor, laughter and play are natural antidotes to stress. They lessen your burdens and help you keep things in perspective. Laughter brings your nervous system into balance, reducing stress, calming you down, sharpening your mind and making you more empathic.
Learn to see conflict as an opportunity to grow closer to others. Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in human relationships. Two people can't possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However, that needn't be a bad thing. Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn't perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in relationships.
Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jennifer Shubin
- References
Gilar-Corbi, R.
, Pozo-Rico, T., Sánchez, B., & Castejón, J.-L. (2019). Can emotional intelligence be improved? A randomized experimental study of a business-oriented EI training program for senior managers. PLOS ONE, 14(10), e0224254. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0224254How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence—Professional Development | Harvard DCE. (n.d.). Retrieved June 18, 2022, from https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-improve-your-emotional-intelligence/
Jiménez-Picón, N., Romero-Martín, M., Ponce-Blandón, J. A., Ramirez-Baena, L., Palomo-Lara, J. C., & Gómez-Salgado, J. (2021). The Relationship between Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence as a Protective Factor for Healthcare Professionals: Systematic Review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(10), 5491. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph28105491
Segal, Jeanne. The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships.
1st edition. McGraw Hill, 2008. https://www.amazon.com/Language-Emotional-Intelligence-Essential-Relationships/dp/0071544550Segal, Jeanne S. Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide–A Hands-on Program for Harnessing the Power of Your Instincts and Emotions. 1st edition. Holt Paperbacks, 2015. https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Emotional-Intelligence-Practical/dp/0805051511/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Last updated: November 15, 2022
Stress Management - HelpGuide.org
stress
While it may seem like there’s nothing you can do about stress at work and home, there are steps you can take to relieve the pressure and regain control.
The importance of managing stress
If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re putting your entire well-being at risk. Stress wreaks havoc on your emotional equilibrium, as well as your physical health. It narrows your ability to think clearly, function effectively, and enjoy life.
It may seem like there’s nothing you can do about stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and your work and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think.
Effective stress management helps you break the hold stress has on your life, so you can be happier, healthier, and more productive. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun—and the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on. But stress management is not one-size-fits-all. That’s why it’s important to experiment and find out what works best for you. The following stress management tips can help you do that.
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Tip 1: Identify the sources of stress in your life
Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life.
This isn't as straightforward as it sounds. While it's easy to identify major stressors such as changing jobs, moving, or going through a divorce, pinpointing the sources of chronic stress can be more complicated. It's all too easy to overlook how your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors contribute to your everyday stress levels.
Sure, you may know that you're constantly worried about work deadlines, but maybe it's your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that is causing the stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:
- Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
- Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”)?
- Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
Start a stress journal
A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal or use a stress tracker on your phone. Keeping a daily log will enable you to see patterns and common themes. Write down:
- What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure).
- How you felt, both physically and emotionally.
- How you acted in response.
- What you did to make yourself feel better.
Tip 2: Practice the 4 A's of stress management
While stress is an automatic response from your nervous system, some stressors arise at predictable times: your commute to work, a meeting with your boss, or family gatherings, for example. When handling such predictable stressors, you can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose in any given scenario, it's helpful to think of the four A's: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
| The four A's – Avoid, Alter, Adapt & Accept |
| Avoid unnecessary stress |
| It's not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed, but you may be surprised by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate. |
| Learn how to say “no.” Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress. Distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts” and, when possible, say “no” to taking on too much. |
| Avoid people who stress you out. If someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit the amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship. |
Take control of your environment. If the evening news makes you anxious, turn off the TV. If traffic makes you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online. |
| Pare down your to-do list. Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you've got too much on your plate, drop tasks that aren't truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely. |
| Alter the situation |
| If you can't avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life. |
| Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you've got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk. If you don't voice your feelings, resentment will build and the stress will increase. |
Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you'll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground. |
| Create a balanced schedule. All work and no play is a recipe for burnout. Try to find a balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and downtime. |
| Adapt to the stressor |
| If you can't change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude. |
| Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time. |
Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere. |
| Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.” |
| Practice gratitude. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective. |
| Accept the things you can't change |
Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can't prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it's easier than railing against a situation you can't change. |
| Don't try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control, particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems. |
| Look for the upside. When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes. |
| Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on. |
Share your feelings. Expressing what you're going through can be very cathartic, even if there's nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. |
Tip 3: Get moving
When you're stressed, the last thing you probably feel like doing is getting up and exercising. But physical activity is a huge stress reliever—and you don't have to be an athlete or spend hours in a gym to experience the benefits. Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good, and it can also serve as a valuable distraction from your daily worries.
While you'll get the most benefit from regularly exercising for 30 minutes or more, it's okay to build up your fitness level gradually. Even very small activities can add up over the course of a day. The first step is to get yourself up and moving. Here are some easy ways to incorporate exercise into your daily schedule:
- Put on some music and dance around.
- Take your dog for a walk.
- Walk or cycle to the grocery store.
- Use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator.
- Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way.
- Pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you work out.
- Play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids.
The stress-busting magic of mindful rhythmic exercise
While just about any form of physical activity can help burn away tension and stress, rhythmic activities are especially effective. Good choices include walking, running, swimming, dancing, cycling, tai chi, and aerobics. But whatever you choose, make sure it's something you enjoy so you're more likely to stick with it.
While you're exercising, make a conscious effort to pay attention to your body and the physical (and sometimes emotional) sensations you experience as you're moving. Focus on coordinating your breathing with your movements, for example, or notice how the air or sunlight feels on your skin. Adding this mindfulness element will help you break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that often accompanies overwhelming stress.
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Tip 4: Connect to others
There is nothing more calming than spending quality time with another human being who makes you feel safe and understood.
In fact, face-to-face interaction triggers a cascade of hormones that counteracts the body's defensive “fight-or-flight” response. It's nature's natural stress reliever (as an added bonus, it also helps stave off depression and anxiety). So make it a point to connect regularly—and in person—with family and friends.
[Read: Social Support for Stress Relief]
Keep in mind that the people you talk to don't have to be able to fix your stress. They simply need to be good listeners. And try not to let worries about looking weak or being a burden keep you from opening up. The people who care about you will be flattered by your trust. It will only strengthen your bond.
Of course, it's not always realistic to have a pal close by to lean on when you feel overwhelmed by stress, but by building and maintaining a network of close friends you can improve your resiliency to life's stressors.
Tips for building relationships
- Reach out to a colleague at work.
- Help someone else by volunteering.
- Have lunch or coffee with a friend.
- Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly.
- Accompany someone to the movies or a concert.
- Call or email an old friend.
- Go for a walk with a workout buddy.
- Schedule a weekly dinner date.
- Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club.
- Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach.
Tip 5: Make time for fun and relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by carving out “me” time. Don't get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you'll be in a better place to handle life's stressors.
Set aside leisure time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
Take up a relaxation practice. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing activate the body's relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the fight or flight or mobilization stress response. As you learn and practice these techniques, your stress levels will decrease and your mind and body will become calm and centered.
Tip 6: Manage your time better
Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you're stretched too thin and running behind, it's hard to stay calm and focused. Plus, you'll be tempted to avoid or cut back on all the healthy things you should be doing to keep stress in check, like socializing and getting enough sleep. The good news: there are things you can do to achieve a healthier work-life balance.
Don't over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take.
Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant or stressful to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.
Break projects into small steps. If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once.
Delegate responsibility. You don't have to do it all yourself, whether at home, school, or on the job. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or oversee every little step. You'll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.
Tip 7: Maintain balance with a healthy lifestyle
In addition to regular exercise, there are other healthy lifestyle choices that can increase your resistance to stress.
Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary “highs” caffeine and sugar provide often end with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.
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Tip 8: Learn to relieve stress in the moment
When you're frazzled by your morning commute, stuck in a stressful meeting at work, or fried from another argument with your spouse, you need a way to manage your stress levels right now. That's where quick stress relief comes in.
The fastest way to reduce stress is by taking a deep breath and using your senses—what you see, hear, taste, and touch—or through a soothing movement. By viewing a favorite photo, smelling a specific scent, listening to a favorite piece of music, tasting a piece of gum, or hugging a pet, for example, you can quickly relax and focus yourself.
Of course, not everyone responds to each sensory experience in the same way. The key to quick stress relief is to experiment and discover the unique sensory experiences that work best for you.
Authors: Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A., and Robert Segal, M.A.
- References
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Toussaint, Loren, Quang Anh Nguyen, Claire Roettger, Kiara Dixon, Martin Offenbächer, Niko Kohls, Jameson Hirsch, and Fuschia Sirois. “Effectiveness of Progressive Muscle Relaxation, Deep Breathing, and Guided Imagery in Promoting Psychological and Physiological States of Relaxation.” Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine 2021 (July 3, 2021): e5924040. https://doi.org/10.1155/2021/5924040
Unger, Cynthia A, David Busse, and Ilona S Yim. “The Effect of Guided Relaxation on Cortisol and Affect: Stress Reactivity as a Moderator.” Journal of Health Psychology 22, no. 1 (January 1, 2017): 29–38. https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105315595118
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Stress Management – Learn to manage your stress. (American Heart Association)
Stress Management: Enhance Your Well-Being by Reducing Stress and Building Resilience – Special Health Report from Harvard Medical School. (Harvard Health)
Tolerating Distress – Workbook and information sheets to help you manage feelings of distress. (Centre for Clinical Interventions)
Building Your Resilience – Learn how to increase your resilience in the face of stress and hardship. (American Psychological Association)
(VIDEO) How To Relax: 8 Relaxation Tips for Your Mental Health (Mind)
Last updated: November 15, 2022
Emotional intelligence - Psychologos
October 01, 2022, 21:27
Emotional intelligence is the ability to effectively understand the emotional sphere of human life: to understand emotions and the emotional background of relationships, use your emotions to solve problems related to relationships and motivation.
D. Goleman, author of the book "Emotional Intelligence", defines it as follows: "Emotional intelligence includes such abilities as the ability to develop motivation for oneself and persistently strive to achieve a goal despite failures, restrain impulses and delay obtaining satisfaction, to control your moods and not let suffering deprive you of the ability to think, empathize and hope.
The concept was introduced into scientific use by P.Salovey and J. Mayer. The first concepts of EI arose in 1990, since then different authors interpret this concept in a very diverse way.
According to the definition of J. Meyer, P. Salovey and D. Caruso, this is a group of mental abilities that contribute to awareness and understanding of one's own emotions and the emotions of others (ability model).
EI components in the ability model
The following hierarchically organized abilities that make up EI are distinguished within the ability model:
- perception and expression of emotions
- Improving the efficiency of thinking through emotions
- understanding one's own and others' emotions
- emotion control
This hierarchy is based on the following principles:
The ability to recognize and express emotions is the basis for generating emotions for solving specific procedural problems.
These two classes of abilities (to recognize and express emotions and use them in problem solving) are the basis for the externally manifested ability to understand events that precede and follow emotions. All the abilities described above are necessary for the internal regulation of one's own emotional states and for successful influences on the external environment, leading to the regulation of not only one's own, but also other people's emotions.
It should also be noted that emotional intelligence in this concept is considered a subsystem of social intelligence.
Methods for diagnosing EI used within the framework of the ability model
Proponents of the ability model explore emotional intelligence using various test methods for solving problems. The most developed and complex technique is MSCEIT. In each task, the solution of which reflects the development of one of the four components of emotional intelligence mentioned above, there are several answers, and the subject must choose one of them.
Scoring can be done in several ways - based on consensus (the score for a single answer option is related to the percentage of a representative sample that chose the same option) or on expert judgment (the score is related to the proportion of a relatively small sample of experts who chose the same answer).
EI in popular (non-scientific) psychology, Goleman's theory - mixed model EI
is how we treat ourselves and our relationships. According to Goleman, emotional intelligence is the ability of a person to interpret their own emotions and the emotions of others in order to use the information received to achieve their own goals. There are four main components of EQ:
- self-awareness
- self-control
- empathy
- relationship skills.
In fact, one of the most significant advances in the study of emotional culture occurred in 1980, when psychologist Dr. Reuven Bar-On, an American-Israeli, began his work in this field.
The concept of emotional intelligence in its populist incarnation is often found in the literature devoted to the problem of effective leadership. Above are the four components of emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman identifies a fifth among them: motivation.
Biological preconditions for EI
- Level of EI of parents
- Right brain type of thinking
- Properties of temperament
Social prerequisites for the development of EI
- Syntony (emotional reaction of the environment to the actions of the child)
- The degree of development of self-consciousness
- Confidence in emotional competence
- Parental education and family income
- Emotionally healthy relationship between parents
- Androgyny (self-control and endurance in girls, empathy and tender feelings in boys)
- External locus of control
- Religiosity
EI structure
- Conscious regulation of emotions
- Understanding (comprehension) of emotions
- Discrimination and expression of emotions
- Use of emotions in mental activity
Definition of EQ
Proponents of two models of social intelligence, the ability model and the mixed model, adhere to different methods for determining its level, which primarily depends on their theoretical positions.
Proponents of the mixed model use methods based on self-report, and each method is based solely on the subjective views of its author.
Ability model proponents explore emotional intelligence using a problem-solving test methodology. (We are talking about the most developed and complex methodology - MSCEIT). In each task, the solution of which reflected the development of one of the four components of emotional intelligence mentioned above, there are several answers, and the subject must choose one of them. Scoring can be done in several ways - based on consensus (the score for a particular answer option corresponds to the percentage of a representative sample that chose the same option) or on expert assessments (the score corresponds to the proportion of a relatively small sample of experts who chose the same answer). It is the scoring that is considered the weak point of this technique.
EQ is determined by various methods using commercial or popular tests,[http://flogiston.
ru/articles/general/eq],[http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest= 1121],[http://pozdeev.ru/index.php/component/content/article/3-2011-10-07-17-05-43/179-test-eq1]
EI development methods
- Group training
- Individual training
- Coaching
- Training of children in family and community children's centers
- Family education
There are two different opinions about the possibility of developing EI in psychology. A number of scientists (for example, J. Meyer) adhere to the position that it is impossible to increase the level of EI, since this is a relatively stable ability. However, it is quite possible to increase emotional competence through training. Their opponents (in particular, D. Goleman) believe that EI can be developed. An argument in favor of this position is the fact that the neural pathways of the brain continue to develop up to the middle of human life.
References
- Emotional Intelligence Competency Tests
- Emotional intelligence: theory, tests, trainings.
- Orel E. Emotional intelligence: the concept and methods of diagnosis
- History of Emotional Intelligence
- Emotional IQ Test
- Emotional intelligence
Literature
- Andreeva IN Emotional intelligence: a study of the phenomenon // Questions of Psychology. 2006. No. 3. S. 78 - 86.
- Andreeva IN Prerequisites for the development of emotional intelligence // Issues of psychology. 2007. No. 5. S. 57 - 65.
- Goleman D. Emotional Leadership: The Art of Managing People Based on Emotional Intelligence. — M.: Alpina Business Books, 2005.
- Kabatchenko T.S. Management Psychology: - M.,: Pedagogical Society of Russia, 2000.
- Michael George. Lean manufacturing + six sigma: - M.,: Alpina Business Books, 2006.
- Analoui F., Karami A. Strategic management: - M.,: UNITA-DANA, 2005.
- Bradberry, T. & Greaves, J. (2005). The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book, (New York: Simon and Schuster).
Bradberry, T. and Greaves J. (2005) "Heartless Bosses," The Harvard Business Review. - Goleman D. Where does the leader begin. — M. Alpina Business Books, 2006.
- Types of intelligence
- Emotional development
Comments (5):
Guest, June 30, 2012, 12:19
Thank you, very interesting! A good collection of materials on emotional intelligence.
Svetlana, March 21, 2015, 4:19 pm
The cerebral cortex develops until the age of 18-19, and if it is not already given, then at least meditate for days on end - a new brain will not grow. You can help those whose upbringing has played a huge role, that’s not only possible, but also necessary to help, but there’s no way for accentuators, even if you stimulate the growth of neurons, yes, they will increase in breadth, but not in height ...
Guest- 2, December 24, 2015 10:15 PM
This EI is not very useful. It gets harder for him. From the fact that you understand everything and everyone.
And so there is no EI, he went into the forest and yelled and everything went away. I'm tired of him already. It is psychologically difficult, the whole truth about life is described.
1
reply
Guest, November 25, 2018, 10:23 pm
Duality and difficulties are overcome by changing the understanding of oneself and communication with other people. Somewhere to pump, somewhere to live your injuries and set new tasks. And the path of changes opens, not only relations, but also actions, new reactions. November 25, 2018 It is a pity that I began to apply only recently)
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Lesson 1. The Concept and Importance of Emotional Intelligence
In our lives, we all witness amazing events: a person with a high score fails, while a person with a modest score on this test turns out to be surprisingly successful in career and other areas. This happens often and forces us to ask ourselves questions.
What other factors influence success in life? What is needed for happiness? What skills should you develop in yourself to learn how to cope with life's failures and be stress-resistant? We believe that you yourself invariably gave yourself the same answer: emotions.
It is emotions that can turn our life into heaven or hell. And in order to learn how to manage them, you need to increase your emotional intelligence.
Contents:
- The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in the 21st Century
- The difference between IQ and emotional intelligence
- Emotional Intelligence: The Missing Link to Success
- Is it possible to increase emotional intelligence?
- Verification test
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a person's ability to recognize emotions, understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people and their own, as well as the ability to manage their own and other people's emotions.
The word "intelligence" in this concept did not appear by chance: most likely it was a response to the inability of IQ tests to predict a person's success in life. Psychologists who have studied the nature of emotions have come to the conclusion that successful people become so primarily because of their ability to get along with people and only then because of their intellect.
The IQ test itself did not take into account these abilities.
So why is emotional intelligence so important and why should it be improved?
Importance of emotional intelligence in the 21st century
Why is emotional intelligence so important in the 21st century? Of course, it was important before, especially for survival, but now a lot has changed. The development of communication technologies and the Internet has led to the fact that we are in constant contact with other people, even if many of them are at a considerable distance from us.
In past centuries, man spent a significant part of his life in the field or in factories, earning a living by physical labor. You had to work, otherwise you would die, so a person didn’t even have to motivate himself additionally. Modern man (even in developing countries) is quite well off: he has a roof over his head, food on the table and water in a glass. Therefore, he, and especially his children, do not need to go out of their way so as not to die.
And it is the ability to motivate yourself that becomes extremely important in the 21st century. Motivation is directly related to the ability to manage your emotional states, introduce yourself into them (even if artificially) and achieve success in life.
So, in our age, we are less and less engaged in physical labor and more and more intellectual and emotional. We communicate with other people, experience stress when something goes wrong, and try to motivate ourselves by weaning ourselves from emotional attachment to satisfy immediate needs.
Working in a factory, you had to meet the norm of production of parts, working as a designer or translator, one of your main tasks is the ability to find a common language with people. Logic does not work in all cases, so appealing to emotions comes to the fore. If you have learned to direct people's emotions in a certain direction, incredible opportunities open up before you.
Steve Jobs was a master at this. He did not sell technology, but the emotions that this technology gave.
He knew about human needs and understood how to direct their emotions in a certain direction. It required a lot of work - he prepared a five-minute presentation for several weeks and calculated everything to the smallest detail.
Richard Branson is an incredibly attractive personality. He is cheerful, optimistic and knows how to motivate both himself and his people. He is loved sincerely and he reciprocates. As Branson himself admits, he does not have a high intellect and, in fact, does not differ from the majority. He has only one advantage - the ability to manage his own and other people's emotions.
They say that the millionaires and billionaires of past centuries were quite gloomy and unemotional people. In the 20th and 21st centuries, a new type of rich person is emerging, smiling and contented with life. They do not spend fabulous money on expensive rattles, these people are happy because they love people and enjoy communicating with them.
The difference between IQ and emotional intelligence
What is IQ? Simply put, it is a measure of the intellectual, logical, analytical and mental abilities of a person.
IQ deals with spatial, verbal, mathematical and visual skills.
Intelligence quotient is a quantitative measure that determines how easily we learn new things, how we retain and recall information, how we can focus on exercises and tasks, handle numbers, get involved in the process of thinking, solve problems, think abstractly and analytically. If your intelligence level is more than 100, it means that you are quite successful in all of the above skills. Everyone knows people who have succeeded in this test and are completely unadapted to life.
We are by no means saying that IQ has no bearing on a person's success in life. All these skills are incredibly important: it means that your brain is constantly developing and you are able to find unexpected solutions.
However, whether you like it or not, you have a nervous system in addition to your brain. And the brain itself performs not only mathematical tasks, it is also capable of experiencing emotions. And this is where the serious problems arise.
You may have the highest level of intelligence on the planet, but it won't mean anything if you can't manage your psychology, your emotions.
If you've seen the movie Good Will Hunting, you can see that even a child prodigy will work as a janitor if he doesn't want to succeed in life. The hero of Matt Damon simply does not know how or does not want to motivate himself to succeed in life. There are other examples in life: an incredibly smart person cannot achieve anything serious in life, despite the fact that they passionately desire it. Both examples talk about the importance of emotional intelligence.
We all get excited about the one piece of news we already instinctively knew: IQ is not the only factor by which success can be achieved. Of course, we must develop our intellect, but in addition to this, we desperately need good emotional abilities.
Ask yourself the following question: which designer (musician, surgeon, businessman, marketer) will achieve more in life, all other things being equal, but with different levels of emotional intelligence? For example, let's say you're a designer and you're trying to get a job.
You have a competitor who has the same professional skills as you. The only difference is that you are optimistic, enthusiastic, able to find a common language with clients and the future boss, tactful and stress-resistant.
So who will be hired? Who will move up the corporate ladder? Put yourself in the shoes of the boss. Who will you hire, all other things being equal? A pleasant professional or an unpleasant professional? Moreover, even those people whose professional level is lower than those of its competitors achieve success.
Yes, there are professions for which the level of emotional intelligence is not particularly important. For example, a cleaner or a builder. In these professions, professional and technical skills are more valued, no one will necessarily require effective interaction with people from you.
These people are quite capable of doing a good job, some of them make good money and have many benefits for a good life. But what about love and friendship relationships? What about understanding other people's emotions in order to help them cope with difficulties? People with low emotional intelligence can be successful at their jobs, but they experience incredible difficulties at the first problems.
If such a person is fired from his job, he will be subject to severe stress and become depressed. He can go to several interviews in a row, fail and be frustrated.
Have you ever heard of the wheel of life? This is a technique for setting personal priorities that teaches us one important point: the number of hours devoted to one area of life affects its quality. You can spend all your time developing technical skills, but other aspects of your life will begin to sag along with this - health, family, recreation, friends, hobbies, self-development. You simply cannot be happy if you succeed in one thing. Great, truly great people were happy because they knew how to find a competent balance.
A person cannot be satisfied with life if he does not take control of his emotions and cannot use them for his own good. He will work for a paycheck, spend money on things that he thinks will make him feel happy, but will feel overwhelmed and irritated.
External factors will never make a person happy, happiness always comes from within.
To enjoy life, you need to change, if not your psychology, then at least take control of your emotions.
After all, what exactly is depression? It is rarely physical, but rather a state of thought and emotion. You experience negative emotions and you have thoughts that reinforce your mood. Or vice versa, you replay the same unpleasant thought over and over again, due to which this rewinding causes you a negative emotion. This emotion stretches in time and you get a bad mood. Further melancholy, depression, a feeling of worthlessness, self-doubt.
Our psyche is so arranged that we are attracted to cheerful, optimistic people, and not irritated and always unsatisfied. Why? Emotions act like a virus, the influence of another person on our emotions cannot be overestimated. If we communicate with a gloomy pessimist for a long time, this mood is transmitted to us. When we are dealing with a pleasant, endearing person, we feel better. A person who can solve logarithmic equations commands respect, but if he spoils your mood with his presence, you will want to stay away from him.
A simple conclusion can be drawn: the symbiosis of IQ and EQ will allow a person to achieve significant success. If you can think logically, analyze information and at the same time get along with people, know how to motivate yourself and them, then you will surely succeed.
Emotional intelligence: the missing link in success
If you remember your graduation class, you must have been interested in the success of your former classmates. What happened to the smartest students? Have they reached great heights? You may also remember a classmate who did not shine with high marks and has now opened his own company. Even if you don't have real life examples, you've probably heard similar stories from your friends. No one could have imagined that this inveterate three-year-old would be a successful and pleasant person in ten years.
We all know that it is difficult to identify real talent in the primitive school model of measuring achievement. We also subconsciously understand that there is a big difference between being smart in the classroom and being smart in real life.
The world is constantly changing (the modern world especially), but who or what taught us to be flexible? We acquired knowledge that seemed unshakable, and after a few years we realized that it does not help either earn money or be happy.
Thomas Stanley's book "The Millionaire Mind" contains the results of a survey of 733 US multimillionaires. They were asked to rate the factors that made them successful. Here are the first five leading factors:
| 1 | Honesty before other people. |
| 2 | Discipline. |
| 3 | Ability to get along with people. |
| 4 | Spouse support. |
| 5 | High working capacity. |
All five factors are reflections of emotional abilities.
There is one more question to be answered.
What is success?
Let's define success as "the ability to set and achieve personal and professional goals.
" However, of course, everything is not so simple.
The personal definition of success is completely natural and changes over time. We pursue different goals in connection with age, gaining more and more experience. Youthful idealism turns into an adult awareness of reality and the need for compromises. Having become wiser, we understand that success is only such when it comes to us in different areas. Different aspects of life put its terms.
| ✔ | What role are you currently playing? Employee, leader, parent? |
| ✔ | Do you want to earn more money as you move up the corporate ladder or enjoy your family life? |
One cannot ignore society's notions of success. For a long time, a person's financial situation was considered an indicator of success in life. We all know the question “If you are so smart, why are you so poor?”. This approach to success could not bring anything good.
We again return to the wheel of life: modern man understands more and more clearly that the concept of success is distorted and misunderstood. Happiness is formed not only by wages and an expensive car, but also (and rather in the first place) personal and family relationships, physical health, universal recognition, a sense of the significance of one's activity.
Is it possible to increase emotional intelligence?
Simple answer: you can. Gender, age and ethnic origin do not matter. The level of your emotional intelligence changes without your participation, only it happens chaotically.
The higher your emotional intelligence, the more successful you will be as a parent, worker, leader, or friend. Even if you lived on a desert island, you would need to manage your emotions.
As we age, we become wiser, gain experience and learn. And one of the things that we clearly and clearly understand is that the balance of emotions and reason gives the best results.
By the way, do not confuse emotional intelligence with personality and character.
Men are much more likely to underestimate the importance of developing emotional abilities, perhaps due to the suspicion that they themselves are emotionally limited. However, you will notice that those men who have learned to manage their emotions achieve much more.
Others dismiss emotional intelligence as a feminine prerogative and feel that IQ is being stigmatized or even ridiculed in our time. This is also not true: IQ and EQ rather complement each other, they are able to coexist productively and peacefully. In any case, you should have a sufficient IQ level to understand what EQ is capable of and what benefits its development can bring.
Everything in a person should be harmonious. If you emphasize understanding emotions and spend all the time on increasing emotional intelligence, you may become a pleasant person, but still you will not be able to open your own company, think logically and analyze information.
If you only develop an IQ, you become stressed and unable to develop good relationships with other people. In a word, nothing prevents you from developing these two intellects at the same time - this will be incomparably more useful than focusing on only one.
In this lesson, we realized the importance of emotional intelligence and compared it to IQ. We found out that only a competent symbiosis of these two abilities will make it possible to achieve success in almost any area of life.
In the next lesson we talk about the history of emotional intelligence and its models. We will see that different psychologists call for the improvement of different skills in order to learn how to manage their own and other people's emotions. However, all models have similar features, which we will consider in the future.
Test your knowledge
If you want to test your knowledge of the topic of this lesson, you can take a short test consisting of several questions. Only one option can be correct for each question.
