Friends with benefits rules for married couples
10 Rules for Friend With Benefits
In This Article
Friends with benefits relationships have been around for decades and can be a great way to enjoy the physical aspect and benefits of a romantic relationship without the emotional baggage that often comes with it, i.e., without the commitment and drama that comes with traditional dating.
However, just like any other type of relationship, there are some important friends-with-benefits rules that both parties must follow in order for things to work out smoothly. Friends with benefits come with their own set of rules that must be respected to maintain a healthy and mutually satisfying arrangement.
In this article, we’ll explore 10 essential friends-with-benefits rules that can help you navigate this type of relationship successfully.
Whether you’re new to this type of relationship or looking to refine your existing arrangement, these rules will provide the guidance you need to make the most of your friends-with-benefits connection.
What do friends with benefits mean?When it comes to modern relationships, a “friend with benefits” (FWB) dynamic has become increasingly common. Essentially, it’s a relationship where two people who are friends have a mutual agreement to engage in sexual activities without any emotional or romantic commitment to each other (García et al., 2014).
As the name suggests, it is someone with who you have a sexual relationship.
The relationship is typically based on a physical attraction between the two individuals rather than an emotional connection. Both parties involved in an FWB relationship understand that it is strictly casual, and there are no expectations of exclusivity or commitment.
It is important to note that while an FWB relationship may work for some people, it can also lead to complications and hurt feelings if one person develops deeper feelings for the other or if there is a lack of clear communication and boundaries.
What do friends with benefits do together?When it comes to being friends with benefits, it’s important to establish some clear FWB rules to avoid any misunderstandings and ensure that both parties are on the same page. One question that often arises is, “What do friends with benefits do together?”
Firstly, it’s important to remember that being friends with benefits is primarily a physical relationship.
While it’s possible to have a close emotional connection with your FWB, the main focus is on enjoying each other’s company in a physical sense (García et al., 2014). With that said, friends with benefits can do a variety of things together.
Some common activities might include going out to dinner or a movie, grabbing drinks at a bar, or even just hanging out and watching TV together. When it comes to physical intimacy, the most important FWB rule is to always communicate openly and honestly with your partner.
In terms of what friends with benefits do together in the bedroom, again, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and communicate openly about what you’re comfortable with. Some FWB relationships might be more focused on traditional sexual activities, while others might involve exploring kinkier interests.
So, what do friends with benefits do together? The answer is ultimately up to the individuals involved, but as long as both parties communicate openly and respect each other’s boundaries, the possibilities are endless. Just remember to establish clear FWB rules from the beginning to ensure a positive experience.
What do friends-with-benefits relationships offer?When it comes to relationships, friends with benefits (FWB) can be a unique and exciting experience. Unlike traditional dating, it’s often more casual and relaxed, allowing both parties involved to enjoy the benefits of a physical connection without the emotional attachment of a committed partnership.
It offers a unique opportunity to enjoy the physical intimacy and pleasure of a romantic relationship without the emotional investment that often comes with it. But before you jump into this type of relationship, it’s important to establish clear FWB rules to ensure that both parties are on the same page.
So, what more do friends-with-benefits relationships offer? For beginners, FWB relationships provide a safe and comfortable space to explore physical intimacy without the pressures of traditional dating. This is beneficial for individuals who are not looking for a serious relationship but still desire a physical connection.
Couples who frequently break up often aim to remain friends, but this can lead to unforeseen outcomes. A different approach may be more beneficial. To clarify doubts about whether exes can be friends, watch this video.
Ultimately, FWB relationships also offer a level of freedom and flexibility that traditional relationships may not provide. Since there are no expectations of commitment or exclusivity, individuals can maintain their independence while still enjoying the benefits of physical intimacy.
10 friends-with-benefits rules to make it workWhen it comes to having a friends-with-benefits relationship, it’s essential to establish some ground rules to make sure that both parties are on the same page. In this section, we’ll outline 10 FWB rules that can help you navigate this type of relationship and make it work.
1. Be honest about your expectationsOne of the most important FWB rules is to be clear and honest about what you’re looking for from the relationship. If you’re just looking for a casual, physical relationship with no emotional strings attached, make sure your partner knows this from the outset.
Related Reading: 5 Glaring Facts About Expectations in a Relationship2. Communication is key
Like any relationship, communication is essential for a friends-with-benefits arrangement to work. Be open and honest about your needs and feelings, and make sure to listen to your partner’s concerns as well.
3. Set boundariesIt’s important to establish clear boundaries from the beginning of an FWB relationship. This might include things like not spending the night, not introducing each other to friends and family, and not texting or calling outside of agreed-upon times.
Related Reading: 15 Ways of Setting Boundaries in a New Relationship4. Respect each other’s time
One of the most important FWB rules is to respect each other’s time. Don’t make plans with your partner if you’re not sure you can follow through, and don’t expect them to drop everything for you at a moment’s notice.
5. Be safeWhen it comes to any type of physical relationship, safety should always be a top priority. Make sure to practice safe sex, get tested regularly for STIs, and discuss any concerns or issues openly with your partner.
6. Keep emotions in checkOne of the biggest challenges of a friends-with-benefits relationship is keeping emotions in check. It’s important to remember that this type of relationship is typically casual and physical and not meant to be a long-term romantic partnership.
7. Be open to changeWhile a friends-with-benefits relationship may start off as purely physical, it’s important to be open to the possibility that feelings might develop over time. If this happens, relationship therapist Rhonda Milrad suggests that one make sure to discuss the changes openly and honestly with your partner.
8. Be respectful of each other’s personal livesJust because you’re in an FWB relationship doesn’t mean you have the right to interfere with each other’s personal lives. Respect each other’s privacy and don’t expect to be involved in every aspect of each other’s lives.
9. Don’t play gamesPlaying games or manipulating each other is never a good idea in any type of relationship. Be straightforward and honest about your feelings and expectations, and avoid trying to make the other person jealous or insecure.
Related Reading: 35 Fun and Romantic Games for Couples10. Be prepared for it to end
Finally, it’s important to remember that a friends-with-benefits relationship is typically not meant to be a long-term arrangement. Be prepared for it to end at any time, and try to enjoy the time you have together without getting too attached.
By following these 10 FWB rules, you can help ensure that your friends-with-benefits relationship is enjoyable, respectful, and fulfilling for both parties involved. Remember to communicate openly, respect each other’s boundaries, and keep your expectations in check, and you’ll be well on your way to a successful FWB relationship.
How long should friends with benefits last?When it comes to friends with benefits (FWB), one of the most common questions that people have is how long an FWB relationship should last. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, it’s better to focus on the discussed FWB rules, which can help guide you in making this decision.
First and foremost, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and expectations at the outset of the relationship. After doing this, it’s up to you and your partner to decide how long you want your FWB relationship to last.
Some people prefer short-term arrangements that are more casual and relaxed, while others may want a longer-term arrangement that provides more stability and consistency. Ultimately, the duration of your FWB arrangement will depend on your individual circumstances, including your schedules, feelings, and desires (Owen et al., 2013).
The decision of how long an FWB relationship should last is a personal one that will depend on your individual circumstances and preferences. By following these FWB rules, you can help ensure that your FWB relationship is healthy, respectful, and enjoyable for as long as it lasts.
More questions on friends-with-benefits rulesIn this section, we’ll address some common questions that you might have about friends-with-benefits relationships. Whether you’re new to this type of relationship or looking to refine your existing arrangement, this FAQ section will provide you with helpful tips.
The concept of friends with benefits implies a relationship that is primarily sexual and lacks the emotional attachment of a romantic partnership. However, it’s important to remember that even in a casual arrangement, respect and communication should still be the foundation of any healthy relationship.
While physical attraction can be a key component of a friendship with benefits, it’s essential to maintain clear boundaries and avoid blurring the lines between friends and lovers. Whether or not it depends on the individuals involved and their willingness to navigate the complexity of such a relationship, friends with benefits can become lovers.
One of the most common challenges in a friends-with-benefits relationship is deciphering whether one person is starting to develop feelings for the other.
Signs that your FWB is falling for you could include increased communication and wanting to spend more time together outside of your usual hookup routine.
They may also become more jealous or possessive of your time and attention or start dropping hints about wanting a more serious relationship. If you’re not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with your FWB, it’s important to make that clear and reassess the relationship if necessary.
In conclusion, being in a friends-with-benefits relationship can be a lot of fun and exciting. Still, it’s essential to establish clear rules and boundaries to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Remember to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your expectations and limitations.
Be respectful of each other’s feelings and always prioritize consent and safety. Don’t forget to prioritize your own well-being and emotional needs as well. By following these 10 rules for friends with benefits, you can enjoy a fulfilling and satisfying relationship without any unnecessary drama or complications.
Nonetheless, it’s also important to acknowledge that even with these rules, friends with benefits relationships can be emotionally complicated and may not be right for everyone. It’s okay to seek help from a couples’ counseling so you can be helped to navigate such a situation in a healthy way.
Friends with Benefits Rules: 12 Rules for FWB Relationships
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Expert tips for success in and out of the bedroom - by Lottie Dalziel
What are the rules of friends with benefits?
So you’re great mates who just both happen to be single at the same time, why not add a bit of “no strings attached” fun into your friendship?
In order for a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship to blossom experts and our readers agree that there needs to be a strict set of rules. Here we discover the meaning of a friends with benefits relationship, how to find a pal and how to do it orgasmically well.
If you’re looking into a FWB relationship it turns on you’re not alone in fact research suggests that over 50% of people in their 20s have had such a relationship at least once. But why just once? marie claire asked its readers if they'd ever been in a fwb relationship.
“I told him I’d never have feelings for him and that this was a “post-breakup friends who have sex thing” and then three weeks later we were dating.” Lena*, 27.
“I did but I regret it. He's a really funny guy and it was super fun and then he was keen to date so we dated for a month and I broke with him out the front of the science building. We're still friends, I guess, I lost contact with him.” Belinda*, 24.
“We were FWB for six months, it worked great for about the first 4 months then I fell in love. .. three years later we're still going strong.” Maggie*, 25.
“I've had a few and they weren't always successful. I guess it's a trial by error, if that makes sense? I didn't know how to do it properly until it had failed a few times. Most of the time they'd messed up because while in my head I thought they were a friends with benefits situation, the other person did not. In reality I'd never addressed it." Maxine, 24.
"I've had two fwb that were successful (not at the same time), we both were just aware of what the situation was and we didn't push the boundaries into somewhere else (no dates or day to day constant messaging). They both just fizzled when I decided I was ready to look for something more meaningful.” Lucy*, 29.
In order for it to be a successful FWB relationships experts recommend having a strict set of rules.
1. No warm and fuzzies“For ‘friends with benefits’ to work, you need to know how to keep a lid on your emotions without coming across as totally heartless,” Diana Parkinson tells Men’s Health.
But it’s not all women catching the feels a survey by Dr Ed of 1,000 men and women found that 52 percent of men become emotionally attached in a FWB set-up, compared to just 44 percent of women.
On the other hand, if the oxytocin (love hormone) has you picturing babies and a walk down the aisle be honest with them, just be wary that they potentially won’t feel the same. Before getting into FWB make sure you’re 100 percent fine with having sex without anything deeper.
2. The "friends" part is crucialLooks can only take you so far and if they aren't your friend then it can't really be a friends with benefits relationship. Look for your fun buddy at a party or another gathering of mutual friends. Research shows that being a friend of a friend makes people feel safe and ups your chances of casual sex.
3. Be clear of your expectationsYou’ve been friends for years but now things are about to get personal. Be honest with one another about what this is and exactly what you both want out of it to avoid any confusion and hard feelings so you can both hit a home run every game.
4. Choose wiselyBefore diving in head first think carefully about how it will affect your friendship (positively vs negatively and how you’d feel if you two became less close. One of your work colleagues? We wouldn’t recommend it. Your best friend since high school who also happens to be your roommate? Not ideal. Your best friends boyfriends’ friend, who you don’t see a long term future with? Now we’re ready to tango!
5. Stay safeBefore you get it on make sure you've got it on. This is a given for all bedroom rodeo-ing but by definition you are not obligated to be exclusive in a FWB so it is crucial to stay safe so you don’t wind up with a little bub with a guy you don’t see a future with and also stay STD-free.
6. Don’t go green with envyIt’s easier said than done but as your shin dig isn’t exclusive make sure neither one of you gets jealous. Clinical psychologist Seth Meyers explains to Psychology Today, “If you find yourself getting jealous, be honest and tell your FWB partner, and the two of you can talk about whether the FWB relationship is truly working for both of you. If he’s the one who starts getting jealous, for example, and you also realize that you don’t want to get involved more seriously with him, it’s time to consider detaching and letting the benefits side of the relationship go.”
7. Check-in regularlyYour friends so be open and honest comes naturally? Well not all the time but it is important to check in with your fun buddy regularly to make sure you’re both still on the same page.
“If at some point you’re enjoying yourself too much and want to spend more time with your FWB, then it may be time to reevaluate the situation,” says relationship coach Ellin Bolin.
8. Keep in mind what this isAs lovely as a cuddle and a chat about all of your best qualities is remember that’s not what you signed up for. Often hanging our one-on-one outside of your sesh is off limits. “Communication is about the where and whens of hooking up,” says relationship therapist Rhonda Milrad. “You are not building an intimate relationship, but rather just having fun and enjoying one another physically.”
9. Don’t get caught in your comfort zoneSo you’re having great, regular sex. He knows exactly how you like it and you know what gets him going minus the arguments, drama and meeting the parents. Well we hate to break it to you but all good things come to an end. Don’t get too comfortable with your scheduled "weekly workout" and close yourself off from finding someone you see a future with long term. Read #8 just one more time.
10. Have a planAs sneaky as you think you’re being, you’re not the FBI (if you are skip this point) but chances are you are going to get caught out. Before you end up in an uncomfortable pickle work out your PR strategy. Are you going to keep your new alliance under wraps or be open about it the next time you’re on a night out? Especially if you’re in the same group of friends.
11. Write your rule bookOkay well you don’t have to actually write it down #savethetrees but before you get down and dirty set your boundaries. Are sleepovers a thing? Late night booty calls? Do you have a regular “scheduled catch up”? Figure it out now to save yourself a headache or heartache.
12. Don’t forget why you startedNo strings attached good old fashioned romping! Be honest with exactly what you do and don’t like in bed and try new things. Have fun and enjoy yourself without all of those emotional ties and when you’re not? It’s time to wave your goodbyes and move on.
*names have been changed
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Lottie Dalziel Lottie is an experienced health and wellbeing writer. When she isn't reading up on the latest health studies or stalking the fittest celebs on Insta, you can find her by the beach, cooking up a storm or adding to her abundant (some would say out of control) plant collection.
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Subscribe Now7 golden rules for happy families: advice from a psychologist and "golden" couples
Source: Lisa (lisa. ru), Moscow, September 29, 2020
In every couple, a man and a woman want to be happy. Warm, trusting relationships are the same reliable rear, support and support. We find out what is the secret of a long happy relationship.
Not every couple manages to feel complete harmony and feel vivid emotions for many years. But on the other hand, it's kind of normal. It is impossible to be at the peak of emotions, joy, love all the time - it is exhausting. And yet, I don’t want to sit in the swamp of routine either. How to find the golden mean? We talk about the main secrets of "golden" couples and give useful advice to those who dream of living a long happy life in marriage.
They do not allow a commanding tone
A life together in which one of the partners constantly tries to command, points out and morally suppresses the other will never bring happiness. If at a young age one of the two is still ready to turn a blind eye to this, then a mature person is unlikely to want to endure such an attitude.
Some of you may earn more, some may invest more energy in home improvement, caring for children and elderly parents, but all this is not a reason to feel and show your superiority over your loved ones. Equality and mutual respect is one of the main secrets of a happy, harmonious relationship.
They build relationships on trust
If family life takes place in an atmosphere of complete trust and mutual understanding, this always makes partners happy. Do not waste time on various suspicions and doubts - leave more room in life for love, tenderness and passion. What could be better than the confidence that your loved one will always understand, support and never deceive?
Distrust destroys love, and confidence in each other, on the contrary, allows it to persist for many years and fill every day of the life of a married couple with happiness. If a life together gives a man and a woman a lot of positive emotions, then there will definitely be a place in it for the most vivid sensations.
Polezhaeva Sofya Sergeevna, psychologist of the Moscow Service for Psychological Assistance to the Population
Quarrels happen, but they should not destroy relationships. Differences and verbal battles do not mean that the marriage has come to an end - it is normal that sometimes it can be difficult for people to agree. Show respect and care: never be late, take care of your spouse during illness and in difficult times. Kiss each other more often and say words of love and gratitude. Love each other unconditionally! You will succeed. Be happy!
They fight... right!
Love is destroyed not only by monotony, routine and everyday life, but also by constant mutual claims, insults, bickering. If spouses show disrespect to each other too often or harbor unspoken grievances, sooner or later their love will come to naught. But calm conversations, avoiding insults and accusations help to maintain warmth and mutual care in relationships. In addition, partners will even be able to look at each other in a new way, fall in love with each other again, if they decide to abandon rudeness and excessive selfishness and begin to solve their problems with patience and respect.
The secret to successful problem solving is constant dialogue, respectful communication about what causes discomfort: "It upsets me when I see dirty shoes on a clean floor" . Always talk to each other, listen carefully, remembering that silent people may seem attractive only initially. It is impossible to live a happy life with a person who is not capable of a constructive dialogue.
They love to cuddle
Oddly enough, this is one of the main secrets of strong married couples! Unfortunately, many partners, when they have lived together long enough, begin to believe that touching and hugging is completely optional. The evening kiss on duty becomes almost the only manifestation of tenderness. This is a big mistake, since it is frequent tactile contact that keeps the spouses from weaning from intimacy with each other.
There is a scientific explanation for this - during tactile contact (especially "skin to skin"), the hormone oxytocin is released, which forms warm relationships and affection. Why not a do-it-yourself love potion?
Have you noticed how happy a man and a woman look when they walk holding hands or hugging? And how touching and sometimes even surprising if an already quite elderly couple behaves in exactly the same way? Surprise arises precisely because we do not often see such a reverent and harmonious relationship in adulthood. And it is these couples who feel the happiest.
Try to touch each other more often, embrace each other, stroke, kiss. Such tactile manifestations of love will help maintain warmth in communication, and when the relationship cools, they will return it.
Sushkovs Faina Borisovna and Arkady Sergeevich :
On September 22, 2020, we celebrated our 58th wedding anniversary. When we try to formulate the secrets of our happy life, then some secret meaning of love is lost. We have lived all our lives overcoming difficulties. Together, together. We never asked each other for help and support - it was a matter of course. While I was in graduate school, my precious husband sat with three children, helped around the house and supported me in everything. A few years later he also took up science, and then it was my turn to devote more time to home and children. We always had many friends, and we lived on the principle of mutual assistance and support. Probably, the foundations of these principles were laid in our youth, when my husband and I were fond of tourism and mountaineering - it is impossible to do without trust and mutual assistance in these sports. We still try to live an active life today: we like to visit theaters, exhibitions, museums, travel around Russia. Until the spring of this year, we attended dance classes under the Moscow Longevity program, it really helped to stay alert and active !
They have common interests
Exciting joint activities always bring people together. Think about how touching it is when a man and a woman who have lived together for many years still try to be near each other as often as possible and look for an activity that will appeal to both. Relationships like this are something to be proud of. It is not so important that it is a passion for gardening or extreme sports.
In a relationship where both strive to spend time together and experience vivid emotions from their favorite common cause, there is always a place for warmth, understanding and love.
As part of the Moscow Longevity project, older Muscovites attend clubs and sections free of charge in various areas of activity, including sports, intellectual and creative. Everyone will be able to choose something for themselves, as well as for spending time together.
Creative couples can attend dance classes, voice lessons, start mastering theater or painting. Couples who prefer physical activity can do gymnastics, yoga, zumba, and attend Nordic walking classes together with the project's sports trainers. For those who seek to gain new knowledge, Moscow Longevity offers intellectual clubs on history, art, psychology, financial and legal literacy, foreign language classes, and much more.
At the moment, most of the classes of the Moscow Longevity project are held online using modern communication platforms. Teachers and curators of the project will help you connect and explain all the technical nuances. Women from 55 years old, men from 60 years old can enroll in the Moscow Longevity project. Registration for online classes takes place by phone, for this you need to call the nearest Territorial Center for Social Services. For phone numbers, see mos.ru/age. Classes in the Moscow Longevity project are absolutely free.
In addition, Moscow has a new format of social institutions for the older generation "My Social Center" (MSC). This is a new approach to organizing free time, developing club activities, supporting social activity based on the common interests and values of the target audience.
The new club space opened up wide opportunities for creative self-realization, development, spending free time and self-organization of the older generation. This is a place of live communication and good neighborliness, where the main organizers of activities and hosts are the residents themselves, who form the program, fill the space and hold meetings and events that are interesting to them.
The infrastructure of the institutions is thought out taking into account the various interests of the guests. The MSC has an assembly hall for master classes, concerts and parties; multifunctional sports hall; noisy living room for fun games; a quiet living room for chess tournaments and literary clubs; as well as a media lounge for joint viewing of films or computer literacy lessons; culinary studio.
More than 3.5 thousand activities have already been organized in the club spaces of My Social Center. All services of the centers are free for visitors.
Institutions did not stop their work during the spring self-isolation regime. Citizens continued to communicate and lead an active lifestyle online. The most popular communication platforms are WhatsApp, ZOOM and Skype.
From September 28, older people are advised to stay at home. Therefore, most self-organized clubs have returned to the online space. Also, for regular and new visitors to the MSC, active project participants have prepared a series of online activities in various areas. You can follow the schedule of the online program on the website of the Department of Labor and Social Protection of the Population of the City of Moscow.
They say "thank you"
The ability to appreciate what you have and be grateful for the kindness, love and years spent together help to maintain harmony in a couple. Over time, many spouses get used to each other so much that they cease to understand how valuable this relationship is, and how valuable each of them is in itself.
Do not forget to thank each other for any, even the most insignificant service. Do not take a dear person and the fact that he lives with you for granted. You yourself turn your life into a routine and prevent the preservation of love when, for example, you brush off your partner’s request because he can definitely wait. Would you have brushed aside his request at a time when everything between you was just beginning?
The willingness to immediately help each other, the desire to respond kindly to kindness and the ability to thank - all this does not allow tenderness and love to leave the relationship over time.
They do not live in the past
People often yearn for the past, both at a young age and in adulthood. However, in youth, for obvious reasons, nostalgia is not yet so strong - a person may regret some moments, but he is not yet able to feel the pain of missed opportunities and the realization of how many years are left behind.
Sometimes a state of melancholy takes possession of a person so much that he begins to endlessly scroll through his head the idea that everything could have been otherwise. He remembers his previous partners or all the mistakes that he made in a relationship, his resentment towards a partner. Because of this, of course, relationships suffer - what kind of love can we talk about, even if you want to change the past?
In order to maintain strong emotions in a relationship, it is very important to let go of the past and live in the present. Memories, regrets and illusions put love (and life!) in doubt and make you constantly look back, not notice what is happening in the present.
Everything changes...
Remember that relationships are never the same throughout life. Even those relationships in which the partners could not endure even an hour without each other will not remain unchanged. Passion cannot always be kept at the same level, but this does not mean that over time it will necessarily completely disappear from the relationship, and it will become impossible to return even some of it. Partners need to learn to accept the inevitable changes, adapt to these changes, and grow and change themselves together.
It is impossible to live a happy and harmonious life without making the slightest effort. You create your own reality. Only you are responsible for how happily you live every day, and whether there is a place in it for love, tenderness and passion.
Omsk State Academic Drama Theater
Alexandrina Shakleeva
- Arthur Schnitzler. "Far Country" Omsk Drama Theatre.
Directed by Georgy Tskhvirava.
Revizor.ru - information portal about art in Russia and abroad March 9, 2018
Review
Critical feature. There is no way back. Rubicon. Point of no return. Dot. Dot. Dot. Death zone.
Translated from Tibetan "Chomolangma" means "Divine Mother of vital energy". At the same time, the highest peak of the Earth - Chomolungma or Everest - is the mountain of death. The Divine Mother of vital energy annually takes away dozens of lives of those who dared to conquer her peak. At an altitude of 8000 thousand meters above sea level - the point of no return, beyond which is the so-called death zone. Here the human body dies every second, and its own rules apply: you can’t go further - don’t wait for help - die, reach the top and relax - you will die, because there is still a descent ahead. The frozen corpses of climbers serve as a kind of landmark for those who go to the top, they silently remind of the fate that awaits a moment of weakness. He hesitated, and that's it - then only silence.
On the snowy peak of Everest, there is a distant country where the dead live, and in this country there are neither morals nor ethical barriers. Only life or death. Other values recede here.
The Omsk Academic Drama Theater hosted the premiere of the performance "A Far Country" based on the play by the Austrian playwright Arthur Schnitzler. The play, written in 1911, went through three adaptations, the production of Alvis Hermanis at the Vienna Classical Burgtheater is known. For Russia, the work of George Tskhvirava was the first stage performance.
The genre of the performance is indicated in the program as "scenes from married life", which refers to the film by the Swedish film director Ingmar Bergman. As in the film, the relationship of a married couple with experience is at the center of the performance.
Fabricant Friedrich Gofreiter (Alexander Goncharuk) and his wife Genia (Marina Baboshina) have already crossed a critical line in their relationship. Their marriage has long been in that very zone of death. Just as the human body dies every second while on the snowy peak of Everest, love is squeezed out of marriage every second. Beyond the point of no return, one cannot afford the luxury of thinking about morality; it is not for nothing that Dr. von Aigner (Sergey Olenberg) says: "The soul is a distant country." Far from soul. For now, it's just a fight. Life or death. Me or him. On a large video screen, photographs of frozen climbers from the top of the Chomolungma are displayed: they warn travelers in the mountains, they remind both the heroes of the play and the audience in the hall about their unhappy fate. Do not enter this territory - it will kill you.
Between people there is only coldness and alienation, emphasized by the intentionally detached acting existence and the almost rhetorical pronunciation of the text. The characters exchange remarks - clear and rhythmic - just like they play tennis (there is a shady court on the stage). Monochrome scenography in black and gray tones (artist - Emil Kapelush), pouring rain and thunder. Cold. Cold. Nothing but cold.
In this world people do not understand each other, no one is close to anyone - the problem of dislike is universal to all mankind, it does not depend on either gender or age. In Tskhvirava's play, all the characters face the desire for love, but the impossibility (inability?) to love. On this peak, danger lies in wait for everyone: both beginners and experienced climbers.
Gofraiter ends an affair with Adele (Ekaterina Potapova), the wife of his banker Natter (Vladislav Puzyrnikov), while blaming his wife first for having an affair with Korsakov, and then for his death. The corrugator screams desperately into the microphone about his desire to feel young again. He starts an affair with the young but already depraved Erna Vaal (Maria Tokareva). The genius decides to commit adultery with Otto (Nikolai Surkov), who will die in a duel with her husband. If anyone was capable of love in this world of intricate male-female relationships, it was Otto's parents, long-divorced Anna Meinhold (Marina Kroitor) and Dr. von Aigner. But happiness did not fall out to them either: von Aigner crosses the line beyond which trust ends and endless self-torture of each other begins. They choose divorce. They do not go to the top, descending back to the camp, where there is still enough oxygen, where nothing threatens life. But they are not happy either.
Unquenched passion, the thirst to feel alive and young breaks out, but breaks into the cold reality again and again.
It is impossible to forget your spouses and surrender to passion, no matter where the heroes are, their husbands and wives are always with them. They fall like a heavy shadow on the illusory possibility of being happy. And the characters are torn between dreams, passions and subconscious remorse. When one of the pairs of lovers appears on the stage, the distorted faces of their faithful ones appear on the screens on the sides of the stage (video set designer - Asya Mukhina), and as soon as the spouses retire, their lovers are already looking at them. Everyone knows everything, but they continue to pretend that nothing is happening, maintain the appearance of marriage and are torn from the doom of any attempts to escape from this hell. Every man for himself. And everyone is alone.
In Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" all happy families looked alike, in Schnitzler's unhappy families alike. Moreover, the author and director show a world in which happy families simply cannot exist.
The action of the play takes place at the beginning of the 20th century, the time in the play is conditional. The heroes are dressed in costumes stylized as a historical era (costume designer - Yana Glushanok), but it will take on a lot of modernity (players, hydroscooters, etc.