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Fear of doing something wrong


What You Need to Know

We all have days when nothing we do feels good enough. For most people, this feeling passes and doesn’t necessarily impact daily living. But for others, a fear of imperfection turns into a debilitating phobia called atelophobia that intrudes on every part of their life.

To understand what atelophobia is, you first need a working definition of a phobia, which is a type of anxiety disorder that presents as a fear that is persistent, unrealistic, and excessive. This fear — also known as a specific phobia — can be about a person, situation, object, or animal.

While we all experience situations that create fear, often with phobias there is no real threat or danger. This perceived threat can disrupt daily routines, strain relationships, limit your ability to work, and reduce self-esteem. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 12.5 percent of Americans will experience a specific phobia.

Atelophobia is often referred to as perfectionism. And while it is considered extreme perfectionism, Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell Medical College says more than that, it is a true irrational fear of making any mistake.

“As with any phobia, people with atelophobia think about the fear of making a mistake in any way; it makes them avoid doing things because they would rather do nothing than do something and risk a mistake, this is the avoidance,” explains Saltz.

They also obsess a lot about mistakes they have made, she says, or imagine mistakes they could make. “These thoughts cause them to have overwhelming anxiety, which may make them feel panicky, nauseous, short of breath, dizzy, or experience a rapid heartbeat.”

Atelophobia often leads to constant judgment and negative evaluation that you do not believe you’re doing things perfectly, correctly, or the right way. Licensed clinical psychologist, Menije Boduryan-Turner, PsyD, says this need for perfectionism is different from having ambition or striving for excellence.

“We all innately wish to be successful; however, on some level, we can anticipate, accept, and tolerate shortcomings, mistakes, and failed attempts,” she says. “People with atelophobia feel crushed by even the idea of a failed attempt, and they often feel miserable and depressed.”

The symptoms of atelophobia originate similarly to other phobias — with a trigger.

Boduryan-Turner says for atelophobia the feared stimuli can be very subjective because what you might view as imperfection someone else might view as fine or perfect.

Emotional distress is a common symptom of atelophobia. This can manifest as an increase in anxiety, panic, excessive fear, hypervigilance, hyperalertness, poor concentration.

Due to the mind and body connection, physiologically Boduryan-Turner says you may experience:

  • hyperventilation
  • muscle tension
  • headache
  • stomach pain

Other symptoms, according to Boduryan-Turner, include:

  • indecisiveness
  • procrastination
  • avoidance
  • reassurance seeking
  • excessive checking of your work for mistakes

She also points out that excessive fear and anxiety can lead to sleep disturbances and changes in appetite.

Additionally, a 2015 review of studies found a strong correlation between perfectionism and burnout. Researchers discovered that perfectionistic concerns, which relate to fears and doubt about personal performance, can lead to burnout in the workplace.

It’s important to note that atelophobia is different from atychiphobia, which is a fear of failure.

Atelophobia can be biologic, meaning it’s in your wiring to be insecure, sensitive, and perfectionistic. But Saltz says it’s often a result of a traumatic experience related to terrible experiences with failures or pressures to be perfect.

Additionally, Boduryan-Turner says since perfectionism is a personality trait that’s learned and reinforced through experience, we know that environmental factors play a significant role. “When you grow up in an environment that is critical and rigid as well as had very little room for making mistakes and being flexible, you don’t learn how to tolerate and accept imperfection,” she explains.

Diagnosing atelophobia needs to be done by a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or licensed therapist. They’ll base a diagnosis on the diagnostic criteria for specific phobias in the new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) by the American Psychiatric Association.

“We diagnose and treat emotional distress only when it is experienced in high intensity and frequency,” says Boduryan-Turner. She explains that the person suffering from the fear must report difficulty in controlling the fear, which leads to impairment in their social and occupational functioning.

“Most often, people who have atelophobia, may also seek therapy to address a comorbid diagnosis such as clinical depression, anxiety, and/or substance use,” says Saltz. That’s because atelophobia can cause depression, excessive substance use, and panic when it is debilitating and paralyzing.

If you or someone you love is dealing with atelophobia, seeking help is the first step in learning how to let go of perfectionistic qualities.

There are therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists with expertise in phobias, anxiety disorders, and perfectionist issues that can work with you to develop a treatment plan that may include psychotherapy, medication, or support groups.

finding help

Not sure where to start? Here are a few links to help you locate a therapist in your area that can treat phobias.

  • Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapists
  • Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Like other specific phobias, atelophobia can be treated with a combination of psychotherapy, medication, and lifestyle changes.

The good news, says Saltz, treatment is effective and ranges from psychodynamic psychotherapy to understand unconscious drivers of the need to be perfect to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to change negative thought patterns, and exposure therapy to desensitize the person to failure.

Boduryan-Turner points to research showing that CBT is most effective in treating anxiety, fear, and depression. “Through cognitive restructuring, the goal is to change one’s underlying thoughts and belief system, and through behavioral therapy, we work on exposure to the fear stimuli, such as making mistakes and modify the behavioral response,” she says.

In the recent years, Boduryan-Turner says mindfulness is proving to be an effective supplement to CBT. And in some cases, she says medication to treat the comorbid symptoms, such as anxiety, depressed mood, and sleep impairment can also be considered.

Treating atelophobia, like all other phobias, takes time. In order to be effective, you need to seek professional help. Working with a mental health expert allows you to address the thoughts and beliefs behind your fear of making mistakes or not being perfect, while also learning new ways to address and cope with these fears.

Finding ways to minimize the physical and emotional symptoms associated with atelophobia is also critical for your overall health. A 2016 study found that people with a specific phobia have an increased probability for respiratory, heart, vascular, and cardiac disease.

If you’re willing to commit to regular therapy and work with your therapist to treat other conditions that may accompany atelophobia, the prognosis is positive.

Feeling overwhelmed by the fear of imperfection can severely impact your life. Always worrying about making mistakes or not being good enough, can be paralyzing and prevent you from performing many tasks at work, home, and in your personal life.

That’s why it’s important to seek help. Treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy, psychodynamic psychotherapy, and mindfulness can help to manage and overcome atelophobia.

What You Need to Know

We all have days when nothing we do feels good enough. For most people, this feeling passes and doesn’t necessarily impact daily living. But for others, a fear of imperfection turns into a debilitating phobia called atelophobia that intrudes on every part of their life.

To understand what atelophobia is, you first need a working definition of a phobia, which is a type of anxiety disorder that presents as a fear that is persistent, unrealistic, and excessive. This fear — also known as a specific phobia — can be about a person, situation, object, or animal.

While we all experience situations that create fear, often with phobias there is no real threat or danger. This perceived threat can disrupt daily routines, strain relationships, limit your ability to work, and reduce self-esteem. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 12.5 percent of Americans will experience a specific phobia.

Atelophobia is often referred to as perfectionism. And while it is considered extreme perfectionism, Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell Medical College says more than that, it is a true irrational fear of making any mistake.

“As with any phobia, people with atelophobia think about the fear of making a mistake in any way; it makes them avoid doing things because they would rather do nothing than do something and risk a mistake, this is the avoidance,” explains Saltz.

They also obsess a lot about mistakes they have made, she says, or imagine mistakes they could make. “These thoughts cause them to have overwhelming anxiety, which may make them feel panicky, nauseous, short of breath, dizzy, or experience a rapid heartbeat.”

Atelophobia often leads to constant judgment and negative evaluation that you do not believe you’re doing things perfectly, correctly, or the right way. Licensed clinical psychologist, Menije Boduryan-Turner, PsyD, says this need for perfectionism is different from having ambition or striving for excellence.

“We all innately wish to be successful; however, on some level, we can anticipate, accept, and tolerate shortcomings, mistakes, and failed attempts,” she says. “People with atelophobia feel crushed by even the idea of a failed attempt, and they often feel miserable and depressed.”

The symptoms of atelophobia originate similarly to other phobias — with a trigger.

Boduryan-Turner says for atelophobia the feared stimuli can be very subjective because what you might view as imperfection someone else might view as fine or perfect.

Emotional distress is a common symptom of atelophobia. This can manifest as an increase in anxiety, panic, excessive fear, hypervigilance, hyperalertness, poor concentration.

Due to the mind and body connection, physiologically Boduryan-Turner says you may experience:

  • hyperventilation
  • muscle tension
  • headache
  • stomach pain

Other symptoms, according to Boduryan-Turner, include:

  • indecisiveness
  • procrastination
  • avoidance
  • reassurance seeking
  • excessive checking of your work for mistakes

She also points out that excessive fear and anxiety can lead to sleep disturbances and changes in appetite.

Additionally, a 2015 review of studies found a strong correlation between perfectionism and burnout. Researchers discovered that perfectionistic concerns, which relate to fears and doubt about personal performance, can lead to burnout in the workplace.

It’s important to note that atelophobia is different from atychiphobia, which is a fear of failure.

Atelophobia can be biologic, meaning it’s in your wiring to be insecure, sensitive, and perfectionistic. But Saltz says it’s often a result of a traumatic experience related to terrible experiences with failures or pressures to be perfect.

Additionally, Boduryan-Turner says since perfectionism is a personality trait that’s learned and reinforced through experience, we know that environmental factors play a significant role. “When you grow up in an environment that is critical and rigid as well as had very little room for making mistakes and being flexible, you don’t learn how to tolerate and accept imperfection,” she explains.

Diagnosing atelophobia needs to be done by a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or licensed therapist. They’ll base a diagnosis on the diagnostic criteria for specific phobias in the new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) by the American Psychiatric Association.

“We diagnose and treat emotional distress only when it is experienced in high intensity and frequency,” says Boduryan-Turner. She explains that the person suffering from the fear must report difficulty in controlling the fear, which leads to impairment in their social and occupational functioning.

“Most often, people who have atelophobia, may also seek therapy to address a comorbid diagnosis such as clinical depression, anxiety, and/or substance use,” says Saltz. That’s because atelophobia can cause depression, excessive substance use, and panic when it is debilitating and paralyzing.

If you or someone you love is dealing with atelophobia, seeking help is the first step in learning how to let go of perfectionistic qualities.

There are therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists with expertise in phobias, anxiety disorders, and perfectionist issues that can work with you to develop a treatment plan that may include psychotherapy, medication, or support groups.

finding help

Not sure where to start? Here are a few links to help you locate a therapist in your area that can treat phobias.

  • Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapists
  • Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Like other specific phobias, atelophobia can be treated with a combination of psychotherapy, medication, and lifestyle changes.

The good news, says Saltz, treatment is effective and ranges from psychodynamic psychotherapy to understand unconscious drivers of the need to be perfect to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to change negative thought patterns, and exposure therapy to desensitize the person to failure.

Boduryan-Turner points to research showing that CBT is most effective in treating anxiety, fear, and depression. “Through cognitive restructuring, the goal is to change one’s underlying thoughts and belief system, and through behavioral therapy, we work on exposure to the fear stimuli, such as making mistakes and modify the behavioral response,” she says.

In the recent years, Boduryan-Turner says mindfulness is proving to be an effective supplement to CBT. And in some cases, she says medication to treat the comorbid symptoms, such as anxiety, depressed mood, and sleep impairment can also be considered.

Treating atelophobia, like all other phobias, takes time. In order to be effective, you need to seek professional help. Working with a mental health expert allows you to address the thoughts and beliefs behind your fear of making mistakes or not being perfect, while also learning new ways to address and cope with these fears.

Finding ways to minimize the physical and emotional symptoms associated with atelophobia is also critical for your overall health. A 2016 study found that people with a specific phobia have an increased probability for respiratory, heart, vascular, and cardiac disease.

If you’re willing to commit to regular therapy and work with your therapist to treat other conditions that may accompany atelophobia, the prognosis is positive.

Feeling overwhelmed by the fear of imperfection can severely impact your life. Always worrying about making mistakes or not being good enough, can be paralyzing and prevent you from performing many tasks at work, home, and in your personal life.

That’s why it’s important to seek help. Treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy, psychodynamic psychotherapy, and mindfulness can help to manage and overcome atelophobia.

How to overcome fears that prevent you from living a full life

Alekseeva Maya Alexandrovna, psychologist of the health care institution "City Clinical Psychiatric Dispensary"

All people, starting from childhood, are literally saturated with a variety of fears. They are initiated by parents, friends, teachers, the closest environment. And over time, the person himself, without being aware of this, begins to be afraid of almost every decision and step taken.

The presence of fears is quite a natural phenomenon. But h the feeling of fear has such a strong power over a person that it can either become the engine of his development, or vice versa, paralyze on the way to achieving the goal. And to understand, to meet “face to face” with your fears is a big and serious step towards curing fear.

So what is fear and why is it dangerous for a person?

Fear is an emotionally colored short-term emotion or a relatively long-term mental state, a feeling of inner tension, generated by the experience of real or imagined (expected) danger.

When fear occurs, a number of physiological changes occur in the body. The work includes the hypothalamus, pituitary gland and adrenal cortex. As a result of activation of the hypothalamus, corticotropin is produced. It in turn includes the nervous system and the pituitary gland. It triggers the adrenal glands and produces prolactin. The adrenal glands secrete cortisol. Along with this, adrenaline and norepinephrine are produced. Externally and internally, all this manifests itself:

  • pressure increase;
  • increased heart rate and respiration;
  • bronchial dilatation;
  • goosebumps;
  • decreased blood flow to the organs of the digestive and reproductive systems;
  • dilated pupils;
  • release of glucose into the blood;
  • rapid fat burning;
  • increased acidity in the stomach and reduced production of enzymes;
  • shutdown of the immune system.

In real danger, this allows you to think faster, see better, hit harder, run faster.

But if the fear is imaginary and constant, then the body does not benefit from everything that happens to it at that moment. That is why psychosomatic diseases develop against the background of fear:

  • stool disorders;
  • bronchial edema;
  • shortness of breath;
  • chest pain.

Thus, there is a vicious circle. For example, you are afraid of getting sick, but against the background of fear you get sick. In addition, the more often you experience fear (stress), the less you can correctly assess the situation, which results in various chronic phobias.

At the mental level, it is accompanied by restlessness, anxiety, lowering of mood, etc.

Reasons for fear can be both hidden and obvious. Often the person does not remember the obvious reasons. And under the hidden understand the fears coming from childhood. For example, increased parental care, temptations, a consequence of psychological trauma, fears caused by a moral conflict or an unresolved problem.

There are also cognitively constructed causes: feelings of rejection, loneliness, threats to self-esteem, depression, feelings of inadequacy, feelings of imminent failure.

Professor V.Yu. Shcherbatykh divided all fears into three groups: social, biological, existential.

To biological he attributed those fears that are directly related to the threat to human life. The most popular fear of this group is the fear of illness.

All social fears are caused by situations that can undermine social status, lower self-esteem. For example, fear of others. At the heart of this fear is criticism, and yours in the first place. To overcome this problem, try not to criticize yourself, but to praise more. It is human nature to project our shortcomings or problems onto others, that is, in people we notice and scold what we do not accept in ourselves. And, as it were, we play ahead of the curve until it is noticed here. That is, we are afraid that our shortcomings (pickiness, touchiness, vindictiveness, conflict, deceit, dishonesty, indecision, etc.) will be noticed. On the same basis, there is a fear of seeming ridiculous, falling under the evil mood of someone. To solve this problem, you need to learn how to demonstrate yourself what you want to see in others.

Existential fears are associated with the intellect of the individual and are caused by reflection (thinking about issues that affect the problems of life, as well as death and the very existence of a person. For example, the most popular fear of this group is the fear of death (one's own or loved ones). This is the most ambiguous phenomenon:

  • On the one hand, it can reach such proportions that a person closes himself within four walls and simply rewinds the allotted time.0026
  • But on the other hand, this is a normal fear that makes us look around when we cross the road.

There is only one way to cope with it - to accept it. All people are mortal. It makes no sense to experience death several times in your thoughts and darken yourself with this all your life.

So how can we get rid of the fears that prevent us from living a fulfilling life ?

I'm not suggesting any step by step program to release fear. Just a few tips.

  1. To get rid of fear, it is first necessary to recognize it . This is the most serious first step. Almost all of us have fears of some kind, but they lurk somewhere in the depths of our consciousness, often unnoticed, unacknowledged, because we ignore them and pretend that they do not exist. But they are. And they affect us every day throughout our lives. So acknowledge your fears.
  2. Write them down. What are you afraid of? Put it on paper. The entry will mean recognition and shed light on your concerns. This will bring your fears out of the dark corners of your mind where they can have power over you. Once you have put their material form on paper, you can do whatever you like with them. For example, they can be burned or torn apart, symbolizing destruction, or you can hang them on your refrigerator as a reminder of your enemies.
  3. Feel your fear . You have recognized it, but you are still afraid of it. Realize that you are not alone, that we all experience some kind of fear. Many people have the same fears as you. There is nothing wrong with feeling fear. Feel your fear as fully and deeply as possible. It is part of you, but it does not control you.
  4. 4. Ask yourself: What is the worst thing that can happen? Often this is not as scary as we first think. Are you afraid of failure in a new job? What happens if this happens? You will find another job. You will live on. Are you afraid of being rejected by someone of the opposite sex? What will happen then? You will find someone more suitable for you. Are you afraid of financial collapse? What will this mean for you? You will cut your costs, perhaps asking family or friends to help out during this difficult time for you. You will find a way to make money. You will survive.
  5. Just do it. I repeat: feel the fear and do it anyway. To overcome fear, you must simply do what you fear. You don't have to think about it for a long time, you need to act. When you do this, you will experience exciting sensations.
  6. Laugh and smile more often . Bring more humor into your life. Watch comedies or humorous shows, read jokes, search the Internet for various funny jokes. It's good to do this with friends. So you can laugh a lot, relieve stress and forget about your fears for a while.
  7. Be present. Fear of failure (or any other) is fear about the future. We are caught up in worries about what might happen. Banish all thoughts of the future. Banish even thoughts of past mistakes and failures. Focus on the present. Do something right now that can overcome your fears and forget about what might happen. Live in the present. When you find yourself thinking about the past or the future, bring yourself back to the present and focus on what you are doing right now.
  8. Small steps. Overcoming fears and pursuing your goals can feel intimidating and overwhelming. Take small steps. Something that you know you can do. Something you are sure of. Then feel good sensations and take another small step. Continue in the same spirit.
  9. Celebrate every success! Even small achievements. Use this feeling of success to move forward and take the next step.

It is clear that we often depend on circumstances, but attitude to circumstances depends only on us ! In order not to let fear take over us and distort our lives, we need to reconsider our attitude to this natural and unpleasant reaction of our body.

Contact phone 8-0297569242

Panic fear: how to deal with it?

Panic fear: how to deal with it?

Many people think that fear does nothing but poison life. But this is not so, more precisely, not only so. Fear is one of the basic emotions of a person, respectively, in addition to negative, it also has positive aspects. It is designed to protect us from various kinds of dangers, giving a signal to the brain: “Step back! What are you doing? It could end badly!" But panic fear, unlike ordinary fear, does not give us the energy to escape from danger, but paralyzes, so its usefulness remains a big question. Let's try to figure out what it is and how to live with it.

Where does panic come from?

The origin of this concept dates back to ancient times. The legend says that the god Pan, the patron of the forests, frightened his mother very much by his appearance and behavior: having been born with hooves, a goatee and a crushed nose, he immediately began to jump and laugh. Naturally, the parent felt horror when she saw this. A person experiences the same thing now when he sees the object of his fear.

A panic attack manifests itself in the following symptoms:

- increased heart rate;

- trembling running through the body;

- stupor and temporary paralysis;

- asphyxiation;

- chaotic thoughts or their complete absence;

- feeling of horror;

Sudden attacks of panic fear are called panic attacks. The first episodes leave an indelible impression in the memory of a person, and he begins to fear the very attack of panic fear. You know, it only makes things worse. When panic attacks are repeated in any similar circumstances, a person perceives this as a pattern and begins to strive to avoid them. Unfortunately, the onset of these attacks is difficult to predict, so gradually a person limits himself in almost everything. Thus, his level of quality of life significantly decreases, and he begins to suffer.

What causes panic fear? Often the basis is emotional instability, impressionability and impulsiveness. Chronic stress can exacerbate this condition and provoke the first attack of panic fear. The trigger can also be a situation of psycho-emotional overload, for example, performing on stage and riding the metro after living in a provincial town.

As a rule, panic attacks are also based on the physiological features of the body: disorders of the endocrine, nervous, cardiovascular and other systems of internal organs. Doctors even describe a panic attack without fear when only the autonomic component is present (trembling, palpitations, etc.).

Types of phobias

Phobias should be discussed separately. A phobia is not just fear, it is irrational, obsessive and uncontrollable. A person begins to be afraid and avoid certain phenomena, objects and activities. The natural instinct of self-preservation in such situations is inflated to enormous proportions, and instead of protecting life, it begins to poison it. The difference between a phobia and fear lies in the intensity of the experience: in the first case, you are forced to change your entire lifestyle in order not to encounter an object that disturbs you.

Usually a phobia does not appear in a vacuum: its onset is preceded by some traumatic event. For example, a person was bitten by a dog, and he begins to experience horror and panic in front of the dogs. In general, there are a great many different phobias - as many as there are things in the world! You probably know such fears as fear of heights, spiders and cancer. We want to draw your attention to the most unusual of them:

Acarophobia - fear of scratching.

The person is afraid of this action directed at others and at himself. I wonder what happens when he still wants to scratch something?

Venustraphobia - fear of beautiful women.

Probably each of us has come across a man who had similar features! But seriously speaking, the basis of this phobia, as a rule, is some kind of traumatic event associated with an attractive girl. Such a person will either have to spend his life surrounded by women who are not burdened with beauty, or cure this phobia.

Gamophobia is another relationship disorder.

This is the fear of everything related to the wedding. Some women believe that all men are more or less prone to this fear, although a person who actually suffers from this phobia will be frightened of all the smallest attributes of a wedding: a white dress, rings, limousines and even a toastmaster.

Crometophobia - fear of money.

Some not only dislike these despicable pieces of paper, but also dislike them. Everything related to money causes fear: their images, the banknotes themselves, and sometimes non-cash transactions.

Nosophobia - fear of getting sick with something.

A person is constantly worried about his health. Any, even the most ordinary sensations seem to him something out of the ordinary, unpleasant and painful. In fact, this is hypochondria, which has reached its extreme point.

Mageirocophobia . A person suffering from this disorder is afraid to cook food. Agree, this phobia can significantly poison life, because in this case a person becomes unable to make even a banal fried egg. He is afraid of everything related to cooking, including cooks, so the process of eating is very difficult for him.

How to deal with all this?

Remember that the treatment of real and deep phobias requires the participation of a psychotherapist or psychologist. Only a specialist can choose a set of adequate measures aimed at eliminating this disorder. But sometimes it happens that in everyday life we ​​call ordinary obsessive fear and hostility a phobia. And in this case, you can try to cope with it with the help of “home” psychological methods.

Training of one's behavior and thinking can be very effective. If we assume that a phobia is just a formed reflex reaction to what is a threatening factor, then you can get rid of it, gradually moving closer to what disturbs and unnerves. How it's done? We will tell you on the example of a child and fear of dogs. First, the child is shown a picture of a dog, and he gets used to it. Then the child looks like someone in his presence, but in the distance plays with the dog, gradually approaching it for some time. And it all ends with a leisurely stroking the dog. Gradual approach allows the child to have time to get used to the threatening object (that is, the dog) and form a positive attitude towards it.

Another option that is effective in dealing with neurotic fears and phobias is the resolution of internal problems. It's no secret that they often underlie most personality disorders. If you try to decompose the phobia into figures, you will get the following components:

  • what they fear;
  • one who fears;
  • one who relates in any way to one who fears;

The last figure is the most difficult to understand, but also the most important. Our culture is so arranged that to feel fear is shameful, wrong and bad. and when we talk about it, we speak precisely from the face of this figure, in its terms and sensations. So this part of your personality shows a negative attitude towards the fearful part.

Psychologists believe that it is these experiences that turn ordinary fear into a phobia. Therefore, the first step is to clarify how you feel about your fear and what meaning it has for you: are you ashamed of it, condemning it, or even afraid. Once this becomes clear, you should try to formulate an attitude that determines your attitude towards fear and cowards. For example, "to be afraid is ashamed." As soon as you stop separating from anxiety and instead of "I have fear" say "I am afraid", this will signal the completion of the first step.

Next, you should continue working with the object of fear, that is, with what you are afraid of. Two points are important here. Firstly, it is often very difficult to determine what exactly scares you in this figure: it looks like a lump stuck together from various anxieties. For example, if we talk about social phobia - hostility towards people - it may turn out that different individuals are afraid of different things: communication, condemnation, aggression, rejection, or something else. The awareness of these phenomena and the acceptance that they always have a rational grain (for example, a traumatic past experience) is a necessary step in working with a phobia. Unraveling this tangle into individual components helps to reduce the strength of the overall fear.

The second important point is that we often attribute to the objects around us some properties or actions that we reject in ourselves, but subconsciously want to carry out or experience. For example, a person who is afraid of snakes describes them as aggressive and angry, and secretly wants to try just this pattern of behavior. Or the person who is afraid of heights actually wants to experience the sensation of flight that comes from jumping down from a high-rise building. This flight can symbolize freedom and serenity, which is often lacking in life.

If you've done the previous steps and you're still experiencing fear from time to time, you need to sit down and think about the resources you can use to help you deal with it. For example, if you are afraid of aggression from people, then you will benefit from ways and options to protect yourself from an attack. Well, if we are talking about such fatal things as fear of death or loss, then you should think about accepting your powerlessness in such situations. This experience is difficult to experience, but very important for the development of the human personality.

Any problem can be solved, and the elimination of a phobia is no exception. As you know, the very first step towards this is awareness. And since you are reading our article, you have already done it. It remains to try to implement our psychological recommendations and allow yourself to seek help from a specialist in case of unforeseen difficulties. Remember that there are no fearless people, and everyone has the right to weakness, but it is a smart person who knows that he can be happy.

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