Encouraging words grief


Comforting Grief Quotes | Hallmark Ideas & Inspiration

By Renee Daniels on March 18, 2019

Grief is one of the hardest emotions we ever face, and everyone goes through it in their own way, in their own time. Some days are tearful. Some days are lonely. And some days we find comfort in memories. We hope these words of comfort can help ease feelings of heartache—for you or someone who needs them.

Grief quotes for when you need strength  

Love is strong.
Love lives on.

Love gives us memories
Faith gives us strength.

More grief quotes for when you need strength:

  • Here are a few words to remind you of your inner strength when you need it most. Always remember: You’re stronger than you know.
  • You’re strong, you’re loved, and you’re not alone.
  • Tears. Peace. Rest. Strength. Comfort. Calm. All things in your own time.
  • Your strength will see you through.

Grief quotes for when you need reassurance  

In another time,
in a happier place,
you’ll meet again.

Little by little,
we let go of loss…
but never of love.

More grief quotes for when you need reassurance:

  • When the heart is grieving, it can help to remember that sorrow doesn’t last forever. Love does.
  • Love… yesterday’s beauty, today’s strength, tomorrow’s hope.
  • Love’s light shines through the darkness of loss.
  • Love remembers love.
  • Gently, tenderly, patiently, love heals.

Grief quotes for when you need hope  

Like scattered seeds,
memories bloom forever.

More grief quotes for when you need hope:

  • When it feels as though nothing will ease your grief, hold on to the belief that every new sunrise brings you closer to comfort.
  • Winter to spring, darkness to light, sadness to peace.
  • When you least expect it, peace will softly come into your heart.

Grief quotes for loss of a pet  

Pets bring us happiness
that lives in our hearts forever.

Memories of our beloved dogs
always follow us home.

More grief quotes for loss of a pet:

  • Mourning the loss of a beloved pet brings a heartache all its own. Comforting words can help.
  • Happy times, sweet times… so many memories, so much love.

Quote about dog loss:

  • It’s hard to lose a trusty friend and loving companion. It’s OK to feel sad right now.

Quotes about cat loss:

  • Loving our cats so much is what makes us so sad.
  • Anyone who has loved a cat knows how your heart is breaking.
  • Congratulations How to Give a Toast from the Heart

    At some point in your life, you’ll need to give a toast. You might get advance notice as a Maid of Honor or host o...

  • Christmas Find Something for Every Superfan

    Turn your Christmas tree into a reflection of your family's favorite things! Whatever they're into, from old-school g. ..

  • Christmas Remember Every Moment

    Yes, life's messy—but it's also full of memories! From favorite characters to cherished toys and more, find Keepsake ...

  • Card Ideas What to Say When Someone Loses a Pet

    My first cat died when I was 8 years old. His name was Barnabus—after the soap opera vampire—and he was a handsome bl...

  • New Year's Guilt-Free New Year's Resolutions

    “New Year’s resolutions. ” To some, those words are filled with pure possibility...an invitation to start anew, comple...

  • New Year's New Year's Resolution Ideas for Groups

    New Year’s resolutions are pretty lonely deals. It’s just you and that thing you have to live up to. Ack! No wonde...

  • Friends How to Survive a Friendship Breakup

    There are a few things that I dreamed of having more than anything as a kid—like a golden retriever, my own room, mer. ..

60 Uplifting Words Of Comfort For People Who Are Grieving

Throughout the past few years, our country has experienced plenty of grieving. There have been so many terror attacks, mass shootings, random acts of violence throughout the entire world, and a pandemic that has affected us all deeply.

Due to all of this, many people are grieving the loss of a loved one or simply the seeming loss of humanity.

These same people, including you if you are one of them, may feel inspired by some sympathy quotes and words of comfort.

RELATED: What To Say When Someone Dies

Sometimes knowing what to say or do for a person who lost a loved one is very difficult and words of sympathy don't come naturally to a lot of people. You may be worried about saying the wrong thing or saying something that doesn't help. It can be hard to help someone who is grieving, even when you are trying to find comforting words too.

If you have trouble finding the words or don't know what to do, sometimes words of comfort and bible quotes can help us help others in times of need.

As long as you understand that sometimes all you can do is offer a shoulder to cry on and maybe some sympathy notes, you will be able to help anyone in a time of sorrow.

There isn’t always a specific thing to say or the right sympathy gifts to bring to someone who is missing a family member, pet, or friend, but comfort quotes can offer us ideas when we encounter those moments.

Here are some uplifting quotes to offer as words of comfort for someone who is grieving, whether in a sympathy card or in person.

Words Of Comfort For Someone Who Is Grieving

1. "It's the process of grieving that's important and necessary, not the understanding of it."

Understand the process.

2. "No rule book. No time frame. No judgment. Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. Do what is right for your soul."

Do what is best for you throughout the grief process.

3. "You don't get over it, you get through it... It doesn't get better, it gets different...Every day, just like me, Grief puts on a new face." — Wendy Feireisen

Grief changes us.

4. "Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." — Vicki Harrison

Just keep swimming.

5. "It's not about getting over it it's about learning to live with it." — After Chloe

We learn to live with the grief.

6. "Grief changes us the pain sculpts us into someone who understands more deeply hurts more often appreciates more quickly cries more easily hopes more desperately loves more openly."

Grief impacts who we become.

7. "Healing takes time and you are doing the best you can and that is perfect."

Take your time.

8. "I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures.

" — Gail Caldwell

We absorb that loss.

9. “Grief, no matter how you try to cater to its wail, has a way of fading away.” — V.C. Andrews

You will get through it.

Words Of Comfort After The Loss Of A Loved One

10. "Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I'll miss you until we meet again."

They will meet again.

11. "Angels are always near to those who are grieving. To whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hands of God."

​They are safe.

12. “Death ends a life, not a relationship.” — Mitch Albom

They're always with you in spirit, and you have your memories to get you through.

13. “I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories.” — Leo Buscaglia

Your life is forever changed.

14. “I love you every day.

And now I will miss you every day.” — Mitch Albom

Think of all of the good times.

15. “The sorrow we feel when we lose a loved one is the price we pay to have had them in our lives.” — Rob Liano

Well worth it.

16. “Loss is only temporary when you believe in God!” ― Latoya Alston

You will meet again.

17. “Memories are all that you have, which help you survive the storms and struggles of your daily life after you lose someone!” ― Nikita Dudani

Your memories can help fill the emptiness that you're feeling.

18. “Death should not quiet your soul; instead, it should enliven it.” ― Angie Corbett-Kuiper

Life is short, enjoy it while you can.

19. “The memories we have for those who left are our ultimate consolation.” ― Anoir Ou-Chad

You can relive them as often as you need.

20. “The greatest tribute we can give to the deceased is to keep on living. For when we don’t, we too shall die, before our time.” ― Charles F.

Glassman

They'd want you to keep enjoying life.

21. “Say not in grief ‘he is no more’ but in thankfulness that he was.” — Hebrew Proverb

Your time together was precious.

Words Of Comfort After The Loss Of A Pet

22. "A loyal companion and best friend. May their memories bring you comfort in this time of loss."

Photos and memories can provide you with some comfort during this difficult time.

23. "No matter how or when we lose our furry friends, their love lasts a lifetime."

Their unconditional love will never be forgotten.

24. "Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." — Roger Caras

Our pets are everything.

25. "If there is a heaven, it’s certain our animals are to be there. Their lives become so interwoven with our own, it would take more than an archangel to detangle them." — Pam Brown

So true.

26. "No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.

" — Leo Dworken

Every strand of fur will evoke powerful memories from now on.

27. “I guess you don’t really own a dog, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease.” — Joe Garagiola

So lucky to have them in your life for the time that you did.

28. “Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.” — Amy Sedaris

The love remains pure even after death.

29. “If you have a dog, you will most likely outlive it; to get a dog is to open yourself to profound joy and, prospectively, to equally profound sadness.” — Marjorie Garber

So worth it.

30. "A pet’s love is never replaced but always remembered.”

Forever and always.

31. “You’ve lost a dog but gained a guardian angel.”

Your best friend is looking out for you.

Uplifting Bible Verses To Offer As Words Of Comfort

32. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

" — Psalm 34:18

He is watching over you.

33. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." — Matthew 5:4

You are not alone.

34. "Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him." — 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

Your loved one is in a good place.

35. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." — John 14:27

You are in good hands.

36. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." — Isaiah 41:10

You are never alone in your grief.

37. “Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.

" — John 16:22

The loss is painful, but you will get through it.

38. "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." — Philippians 4:13

You can do this.

Sympathy Messages To Bring Comfort

39. "I made it home I just wanted to let you know that I made it home. Everything is so pretty here, so white, so fresh, so new. I wish that you could close your eyes so you could see it too. Please try not to be sad for me. Try to understand. God is taking care of me...I'm in the shelter of his hands. Here there is no sadness, and no sorrow, and no pain. Here there is no crying, and I'll never hurt again. Here it is peaceful when all the angels sing. I really have to go for now... I've just got to try my wings. PS... I'll be the first face you see when you get here!"

Remembering your loved one is in a happy place.

40. "Just checking on you and praying God takes extra special care of you today."

Sometimes checking in is all someone needs.

41. "There is nothing I can say to take away your hurt but you have my shoulder to cry on and my loving hugs. Know that I will be here for you when you need me."

Having a shoulder to cry on is important when you are grieving.

42. "Maybe I can't stop the downpour, but I will always join you for a walk in the rain."

Be by their side while they grieve, even if it means sitting in silence.

43. "A grief blessing may the sun bring you new energy every day, bringing light into the darkness of your soul may the moon softly restore you by night bathing you in the glow of restful sleep and peaceful dreams may the rain wash away your worries and cleanse the hurt that sits in your heart may the breeze blow new strength into your being, and may you believe in the courage of yourself may you walk gently through the world, keeping your loved one with you always knowing that you are never parted in the beating of your heart." — Native Apache Blessing

A blessing to share for that person grieving.

44. ​"It's okay. It's okay to miss them. It's okay to cry. It's okay to laugh. It's okay to breathe deeply. It's okay to smile when you think of them. It's okay to function. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be thankful. It's okay to love again. It's okay to remember. It's okay to hope. It's okay, to be honest. It's okay to trust again. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay." — Lexi Behrndt

Do not feel bad about what you are feeling or doing in your grief.

45. "A dragonfly to remind me even though we are apart your spirit is always with me forever in my heart."

The spirit of their loved one is always there.

46. "Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard but always near, still loved, still missed, and held so dear."

Related Stories From YourTango:

Woman Says Husband Spends Every Weekend With Friend's Widow & Refuses To Invite Her Over For Christmas

Mom Shares Video Of What She Says Is Her Late-Husband’s Spirit Soothing Their Baby In His Crib

4 Things You Should Never Do When A Friend Is Grieving (& What To Do Instead)

Always nearby us.

RELATED: 3 Ways To Grieve — And Survive — Your Massive Loss (So You Can Move Forward With Your Life)

47. "There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone the light remains."

Their light remains here on Earth.

48. "My deepest sympathy as the days continue to pass, I hope you find comfort and support in the people that surround you and the wonderful memories you carry in your mind and in your heart."

Sharing our sympathy for what they are going through.

49. "Although I know that no words can ease the loss you feel, just know that you are in our thoughts and prayers."

Let them know you are thinking of them.

50. "Thinking of you at this time of sorrow, with a wish for strength as you face tomorrow."

They are on our mind.

51. "Whatsoever soothes your spirit comforts your soul and brings you peace ... that is what is wished for you at this difficult time."

Wishing whatever brings them peace will come around.

52. "May your heart find peace and tranquility through the healing power of love, hope, and light, today and always."

Hoping they find peace.

53. "May the hope of heaven give you peace, and the tender touch of the father bring you comfort with sympathy and prayers."

The hope of Heaven.

54. "I'm so sorry for your loss!"

A simple sorry.

55. "Comfort for your sorrow ... Courage for each new day ... Strength to face this journey ... His word to light your way ... His grace to fill your heart with peace to understand ... His love to hold you gently in the hollow of his hand."

God's comfort.

56. "There are no tears in heaven, nor grief of any kind. I leave this final teardrop to those I've left behind through absent from the body I'm present with the lord the joy of my salvation is now my full reward."

You can assure them that their loved one is happy.

Words Of Comfort To Help Grieving Friends and Family

57.

"Sitting silently beside a friend who is hurting may be the best gift we can give."

Sometimes words aren't necessary.

58. "We rise by lifting others." —​ Robert Ingersoll

We can lift one another up in times of sorrow.

59. “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ― Charles Dickens

Your intentions won't go unnoticed.

60. “A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ― Steve Maraboli

That's really all it takes.

RELATED: 8 Ways To Console A Grieving Friend (That Will Actually Help)

More for You:

Natalia Jaramillo is a writer who covers pop culture and relationship topics for YourTango.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!

When you can't find words... How to support a person in grief

Home Articles When you can't find words... How to support a person in grief

Even if it seems to you that a person is not able to perceive your words of support, this is not so.

When a person has a tragedy or grief in his life, it is important not to leave him alone at such moments. In a state of depression and disappointment, there is a high risk of committing unreasonable acts that can negatively affect both life in general and the state of mind of a person. Therefore, your task is to be there and try to help a person in a difficult period of his life. nine0005

Shock

During the first phase, a person responds to believe in everything that happens. During shock, everyone behaves differently: some fall into apathy, withdraw into themselves, close themselves off from the world, lose their appetite. Others, on the contrary, begin to actively eat, and for periods they show hyperactivity, which looks like some kind of convulsive movements. This phase can last from a few minutes to several weeks. No one can predict the timing, because in this case everything is individual.

Suffering

After recovering from shock, a person goes through another difficult stage. During suffering, sleep and attention are often disturbed, working capacity decreases, you want loneliness, and health problems may appear. Psychologists note that if the cause of a person’s suffering is the death of a loved one, there may be a desire to idealize or, conversely, be annoyed at the departed. The suffering stage lasts approximately 7 weeks.

Acceptance

This phase will have to wait for about a year, but after that the long-awaited release from sadness, depression and longing will come. During this period, sleep, appetite, memory, working capacity will be restored, and it will also be possible to start living anew and move forward. Attacks of grief, of course, will still be, but much less often than it was before. nine0005

Recovery

After acceptance, when a person can already move on, he begins to relate more calmly to his loss, grief or tragedy. Yes, it was extremely difficult, but all people on the planet experience this sooner or later. At this stage, mental wounds are healed, it becomes easier to breathe. After acceptance to this phase, it usually takes about a year.

While a person is in the first two stages, it will seem that he does not perceive either you or your help at all. Even if you say encouraging words, instead of some kind of pronounced reaction, you see only head nods. And then, a person can not even give it out in such a state. Often, because of this reaction, people think that their help is useless, and do not continue to comfort and support the person. This is mistake. Now more than ever he needs attention. And you don’t even have to say how much you sympathize with grief, but just silently be there. Your presence is very important right now. When a person recovers from grief, he will be grateful to you that at this difficult moment he was not alone. nine0005

When a person is experiencing grief, there is no point in saying to him the phrases: “Help will be needed, let me know”; "How can I help?" and the like. Firstly, a person is not in a position to assess the situation and understand what exactly you can do for him; secondly, he simply can forget. Therefore, act without any phrases and questions.

But here it is important to understand that you should not do something against the will of a person. That is, if he openly says that he is not going to go anywhere to “dispel sad thoughts”, it is better to listen to him. Your actions must not be violent. It is also worth understanding what can and cannot be said to people in the two most difficult phases after the grief that has occurred. nine0005

In the phase of shock, the most important thing is not to let the person be left alone. This is one of the most dangerous periods during which crazy ideas can come to mind.

Make sure that people do not forget to eat and sleep . In a state of shock, sometimes physiological needs fade into the background, which ultimately negatively affects health.

During this period a person needs to understand that there is someone next to him , that he is not alone, but life goes on. To do this, you can unobtrusively touch him or hug him. If the person does not want to accept such manifestations, try again later. But don't leave him alone. nine0005

Try to keep the person busy so that he does not fall out of social life. Give him an easy job. Your task is not to help him get the result of his work, but to help him abstract himself from sad thoughts.

Try to listen more , actively maintain a dialogue, but do not give any advice. In the shock phase, they will be received with hostility or not heard at all.

In a conversation, one cannot even hint that it is difficult to get out of such a state. Also try to avoid phrases from the series: "Time heals", "You are strong, you can handle it." This can only increase the suffering of a person. Also, one cannot assume what would have happened if ... Such reflections also draw pictures in fantasy that are no longer destined to come true. This only increases the sadness. nine0005

Be careful not to use phrases that have a future tense from the series: "You'll see, everything will get better soon", and also do not try to muffle the feelings of the sufferer. Any words that will have such a meaning are only annoying at this stage.

In the phase of suffering a person can already be left alone . He begins to slowly realize what happened, to assess the situation more realistically.

During this period, it is in your power to start bringing him back to life . You can ask a person to do more difficult work, take him to play sports or go out somewhere.

At this stage also it is important not to block the emotions of the person . If he wants to cry or get annoyed, let him do it. And you stay there again.

One can immediately say that suffering will not stay with a person forever , but you just need to go through this phase.

If a relative of a person has died and you feel that your friend needs to speak out, try to talk about feelings . Let the sufferer share their emotions, and you tell how you feel at the moment, and what thoughts are lurking in your head.

At this stage, it is also important to watch the phrases that you say. Do not ask a person to stop suffering, and also do not compare his grief with someone else . All this is not only tactless, but can also damage his mental health.

Sometimes the question arises: is it necessary to help a stranger? nine0008 Clearly, when it comes to loved ones, we will always support and do everything in our power. What about one you probably don't even know?

Of course you have to. At least in order not to feel guilty later for not helping, although he could. Remember, videos periodically appear on the Web in which strangers save people from suicide. What is behind these impulses? Of course, some grief.

Outsiders need to be helped in the same way as friends. The only difficulty: you need to immediately find out what phase of suffering a person is in. But for the provision of first psychological aid, this is not always required. nine0005

Don't stop being human and don't turn your back on other people's grief. After all, one day you will need the help of loved ones.

Previous article7 superpowers of people with autism

Next articleThe arithmetic of death: how many victims are there in Kemerovo?

Victoria Razumova

I work a lot, eat little. Love, Dostoyevsky, whiskey, nighttime driving. The most important thing in a person is intelligence and honesty.

5 main differences between English men and Russian men

Dark room. A young English couple is making love. Suddenly the gentleman jumps up, turns on the lamp and asks: "Darling, were you in pain?" - No. — But… but why…

Gorabbit is a place that gathers people who want to sort out their feelings. Agree, you can be a smart, healthy, purposeful and quite successful person, but one day you will meet with your powerlessness in the face of the world of emotions, desires and intricate relationships.

[email protected]

HOT

FRESH

Words of encouragement that are better than "don't worry"

Finding words of encouragement can be tricky. Comforting a person, you can inadvertently upset him even more. We tell you how to support a person, what words will help express sympathy and show your loved one that you are on his side.

We have a telegram channel! Subscribe to be the first to read the most interesting articles and participate in discussions.

Now the Burning Hut has a group in Odnoklassniki. The only thing missing is your classes! Subscribe yourself and send our articles to mothers and grandmothers.

What's wrong with the phrase "don't worry"

A few years ago, a canary lived in my house. I did not look for souls in her, and even the fact that the little bird woke up early in the morning with her songs did not in the least diminish this love. Once an accident happened to her: the cage fell off the shelf, and the canary damaged the wing. The vet calmed me down, gave her medicine and told me to make special compresses for the wing. In the evening, I completed all the procedures and went to bed peacefully. nine0005

And in the morning I didn't hear a sound from the cage. I came closer and saw the lifeless body of my favorite bird. My heart was broken. I blamed myself for not saving my pet, that I made a mistake somewhere and overlooked it. With tears and a howl, I grabbed the phone and wrote with trembling fingers about what had happened to my friend, hoping for words of support and comfort. But she received one sentence in response: “Well, don’t worry.” Perhaps she wanted to cheer me up with this phrase. But my pain only added a burning resentment: “How did my emotions devalue so easily?” nine0005

“We get psychological injuries much more often than physical ones. And they, like a scratch on the knee, get worse if we ignore them: “Oh, do you feel depressed? Never mind, it's all in your head. " Imagine saying this to a person with a broken leg: "Oh, just put it out of your head, it's all in your leg" ".

Psychologist Guy Winch TED Talk Why Everyone Should Practice Emotional Emergency

According to one of the dictionary definitions, experience is a state of mind caused by some strong feelings, impressions. In fact, uttering the phrase “do not worry”, a person calls on the interlocutor not to experience emotions, to remove their feelings deeper.

But, firstly, it is very difficult to do this if a person has lost someone close, has been rejected, or has suffered a major setback. Secondly, the containment of emotions leads to bad consequences for psychological and physical health, provoking cardiovascular diseases, psychosomatic pain and depression. nine0005

If you really want to help your loved one go through a difficult moment, show your participation and support, it is better to forget the phrase “don't worry” for a start. There are words that will help you establish a dialogue and actually ease the experience of a dear person.

“I can always listen to you”

First of all, people just want to express what is bothering them, not to find a solution to the problem. And sometimes it just doesn't exist. So the first thing to do is to make it clear that you are ready to listen. Most often, this becomes the best manifestation of support. At the same time, try not to look at your smartphone, do not fiddle with your watch and do not switch your attention to the environment. nine0005

If the frustrated person finds it difficult to start talking or gets lost, try asking leading questions:

  • Tell me what happened?

  • What's bothering you?

  • Why did this happen?

  • What caused these feelings?

  • Help me understand how you feel.

The monologue that you help build your interlocutor can be more effective than advice. By saying everything that worries him, your loved one can find a solution himself, understand that in reality everything is not so bad. Or just feel better, because you no longer need to keep emotions in yourself. nine0005

But don't insist if you see that the person obviously doesn't want to talk. In this case, just let him know that you are always ready to listen if he changes his mind.

“Loneliness inflicts a deep psychological wound that distorts our perception and confuses our thinking. It makes us think that others care about us much less than they really do. It makes you afraid to turn to someone, because why subject yourself to rejection and suffering if your heart already hurts more than you can bear? There is a lot of research on loneliness, and they are all terrifying. Loneliness not only makes you unhappy, it kills. I am not kidding. Chronic loneliness increases the likelihood of early death by 14%” .

Guy Winch

“Your feelings are normal”

Faced with another person's anxiety, one involuntarily wants to try to pull him out of this state with smiles or jokes. It may seem that his problem is nonsense and not worth the tears. But what seems insignificant to one person is really important to another. Do not underestimate the importance of sadness, anger or resentment. For everyone, these emotions are individual.

And while some allow themselves to surrender to grief completely, others are afraid to show their feelings. It seems to them that then they look weaklings or the subject of ridicule. Or that their problem does not deserve such violent emotions. nine0005

Therefore, if you see that your loved one is obviously upset about something, but tries to hide it, try to explain that their emotions are normal. You will not shame or ridicule him. Perhaps these words of support will help an upset person open up to you and ease their feelings.

"I know that feeling."

This phrase must be handled very carefully. Even if you think you've had a similar experience, it won't be exactly like the person who's seeking your support. Your pain is different. But you can share your story if you feel it's appropriate. nine0005

You must not shift the focus of the conversation to yourself. Do not say that you had worse situations, do not go into details. It is better to briefly talk about how something like this went through, and then return the attention to your loved one. If he needs to, he will ask for details.

With this phrase you tell a person that he is not alone with his pain. That there is someone nearby who has experienced similar feelings. Or maybe he will find in your story tips on how to get through his pain and overcome it. nine0005

“After failure, the mind tries to convince you of your inability to do something. If you believe this, you will begin to feel helpless and stop trying too soon or not at all. And then you'll be even more convinced that you can't succeed. That is why so many people operate below their potential. Because somewhere along the way, a single failure convinced them that they could not succeed, and they believed it.

Guy Winch

What can I do for you?

When you feel that you have the strength and desire to help a person, and not just listen, ask what you can do for him.

If a frustrated person asks for your advice, first find out if they have any ideas to improve the situation. Reflect with him, sketch out a few options, but invite your loved one to evaluate them. Decisions are more likely to be made if a person comes to them on their own. nine0005

If you are in the immediate vicinity of an upset person, you can also provide them with domestic care. Make tea, offer to watch a movie, or cook something together to take your mind off things. And if the conversation takes place in the evening, advise to go to bed. Many feel better in the morning.

But sometimes an upset person is sad, not because of a particular event, but because he suffers from depression. If so, encourage him to do something other than talk, like take a walk. Overthinking can exacerbate depressive feelings. Discuss with the person his feelings, gently suggest contacting a specialist who will help alleviate his condition. nine0005

“If we are rejected, we all start thinking about our shortcomings and shortcomings, we scold ourselves. I wonder why we do this when our self-esteem is already so hurt? Why do we want to hurt her even more? If you cut your hand, you wouldn't think, "Oh, an idea: I'll take a knife and see how much deeper I can make this wound." But with psychological trauma, we do this all the time” .

Guy Winch

"What happened to you is really awful"

One of the most difficult things is realizing that you don't know what to say. But most of the time, frustrated people are not really looking for specific words of encouragement, but for comfort. When a person is in pain, he really needs understanding and sympathy for his pain.


Learn more