Empty feeling in your heart
Feeling Empty? Here's What It Could Mean and How To Stop It
That feeling of emptiness. It’s right there in your chest, yet you’re unsure how it came about. Is it sadness? Melancholy? Boredom? It may be a little of everything.
Feeling this way is not uncommon. You might call it “feeling empty,” while someone else might call it something different.
What matters the most is that it’s real, valid. Although overwhelming, it can be managed.
Uncovering what’s lying underneath this emptiness feeling might not be a straightforward process, but it’s possible and a recommended first step toward resolution.
The feeling of emptiness might last a few days and then resolve on its own.
Other times, it might linger for two weeks or longer. When this is the case, learning to recognize cognitive distortions and seeking the support of a mental health professional can help.
Feeling empty can sometimes manifest as a sense of loneliness, confusion about your life and goals, or lack of motivation to pursue anything in life.
Everyone might feel this void in their heart from time to time.
The experience could have many causes, including shifting hormonal levels, losing a job, or the required physical distancing that comes with a pandemic.
Any life stage or situation that may require you to reflect on yourself and your life might also lead to a temporary feeling of emptiness.
Although not in every case, feeling empty could also signify some mental health conditions, such as depression, bipolar disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Only a mental health professional can diagnose your condition accurately.
Losing touch with yourself
It’s not unusual for someone to lose touch with themselves once in a while. A lack of insight into yourself may lead to that lingering emptiness feeling.
Some people call this “living without a purpose.” It means that you might not have clarity on the type of person you are or the one you want to become.
Not having specific goals or dreams to achieve can also lead you to feel empty.
Losing touch with yourself can come from many circumstances. For example, a consuming relationship or a demanding job.
Unresolved past experiences
Sometimes, feeling melancholy might have to do with a long grieving process that you haven’t explored yet.
For example, an unresolved painful experience in your childhood or a sense of abandonment from a family member.
When we don’t openly talk or explore emotions that have been with us for a long time, they might manifest in other ways.
Even if it feels overwhelming and painful, thinking and talking about significant past events that caused you grief may help you process them. Depending on how strong you feel about these events, going through the process with a mental health professional is highly advisable.
Not taking care of yourself
For some people, taking care of others might come first. This could lead them to put their own needs aside for a long time. This, in turn, may lead to feeling empty.
You might feel that making others happy makes you happy, too. Even if this is the case, it’s important to consider that supporting others is not exclusive of supporting yourself.
Everyone needs support and care, including you. Often, when your needs are fulfilled, you become better equipped to help and support others, too.
Abandoning yourself, not listening to your own hopes and desires, could make you feel empty, explained Kaitlyn Slight, a marriage and family therapist in Durham, North Carolina.
Not taking care of your needs can lead to anxiety, guilt, and shame, Slight said. These symptoms might be what you call “feeling empty.”
How much time you spend on social media might also affect how you feel and could fuel the feelings of emptiness.
In many instances, accounts you follow on social media might portray a lifestyle that’s not realistic or a perfect life or appearance. This could lead you to compare yourself and inevitably underscore your life.
Not having significant relationships
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest studies about adult life, has found that maintaining close and good relationships is the most important aspect of the human experience.
This means that it’s not about how many relationships you have but rather the quality of these relationships.
Emotional intimacy, support, active listening, and company are all important. When these are missing in your life, it could lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness.
Depression is a mental health condition that involves many symptoms including:
- lacking energy and motivation
- persistently feeling sad
- feeling hopeless
- sleeping too much or too little
- not being able to focus
- not being able to enjoy activities or people
- feeling guilty or worthless
A feeling of emptiness or numbness could be another sign of depression, according to Ashley Eder, LPC, a psychotherapist in Boulder, Colorado.
In fact, some of Eder’s clients who live with depression report feeling empty instead of sad, she said.
“This kind of empty feeling comes with not caring about much, not being interested in things, not feeling fueled by anything in particular,” Eder explained.
Feeling empty is not always a sign of depression, though. The only person who can diagnose your condition accurately is a mental health professional.
It’s natural to feel concerned if you’ve noticed a change in yourself. Recognizing this feeling and addressing it is the first step toward feeling better.
If you’re feeling empty, seeing a mental health professional can help.
A therapist could help you work through your feelings, uncover the cause of the numbness, and address it in a way that works best for you.
Finding ways to stop feeling empty may depend on what’s causing it.
For example, if you feel numb after trauma, you might need to process this particular event. If you’ve felt empty for a long time, psychotherapy can help you unveil some of the reasons that led you here.
You can read about the different types of hopelessness here
Gently acknowledge the emptiness
If you’re experiencing emptiness that’s more like a gaping hole, acknowledge it, and be gentle with yourself, said Eder.
Remember that you’re doing the best you can at any given moment. Feeling guilty is not uncommon, but it might stop you from seeking help.
Begin by recognizing your own feelings and needs. Even if challenging, try to avoid dismissing yourself and what you feel.
If you acknowledge that your feelings are linked to a loss you experienced, consider allowing yourself time and space to grieve openly. Grief looks and feels different to everyone, and there are no right or wrong ways to do it.
Once you’ve acknowledged your losses, you might go through five stages of grief.
Maybe the loss involves someone leaving your life physically or emotionally.
Eder suggested speaking to yourself with compassion when exploring these feelings and past experiences. For instance, you might say: “It’s been hard to feel so lonely,” or “You’re right; you did need more love.”
Save time for yourself every day
It’s natural to sometimes turn to certain events or activities to not think about how you feel. For example, you might feel inclined to go out with friends or spend the night playing video games.
Slight suggests you fight the urge and instead save time to be with yourself and look within. This may include exploring your own desires, fears, hopes, and dreams, she said.
Because different activities work for different people, you might find that meditation, writing, or exercise helps you refocus yourself.
“It may feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you practice devoting time and energy to yourself and caring for yourself, the less present those empty feelings will be,” Slight said.
Explore your current feelings
Eder suggested setting a timer for 5 minutes and noticing what you’re feeling right now.
“It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering,” she explained.
You might want to write “bored” or “distracted” or “curious.” If you’re having a hard time naming your feelings, Google “feelings list,” she suggested.
It also can help to pick one part of your body, such as your hand or head. Eder recommended to then “scan for various categories of sensation like temperature, tension or movement.”
Practicing these exercises every day can help you open yourself to deeper and longer self-explorations.
You can read more about somatic exercises for anxiety here
Explore your feelings of emptiness
Journaling might also help work on your feelings of emptiness, said Slight.
She suggested exploring the following questions as a starting point:
- Have I been judging myself or comparing myself to others?
- Do I tell myself positive things? Or do I tend to notice failures or call myself names?
- Are my feelings being considered in my relationships, or am I minimizing what I am feeling?
- Am I actively tending to my physical and health needs?
- Have I turned toward behaviors or addictions to avoid my feelings?
- Am I focusing solely on the needs of another person or people?
- What am I trying to prove or win?
- Am I blaming myself or feeling guilty about things that are out of my control?
- Am I showing myself compassion like I would with a close friend or family member?
- Am I asserting myself in my decisions and respecting my personal opinions?
Connect with others
After sitting with your feelings and exploring them, you might find it helpful to connect with others.
Reaching out to friends or family can help you feel better, especially if you’re able to confide in them about your feelings.
One idea is to regularly connect with loved ones through social engagements, hobbies, and mutual interests.
Depression and grief might sometimes cause you to neglect daily self-care. This is not something to feel ashamed of, but engaging in acts of self-care might help you feel better.
This could include basic things, such as eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, and exercising. Hunger and tiredness can sometimes exacerbate negative feelings.
Consider finding positive outlets for your emotions, like journaling, a new hobby, or creative pursuit.
Mindfulness and yoga are also often recommended for depression and anxiety.
Consider a 10-minute yoga workout on YouTube or a quick meditation exercise using a mindfulness app.
You might also want to limit the time you spend on social media. This could progressively help you feel better.
If you can’t or don’t, then try reminding yourself that what you see on the screen might not be an attainable goal for anyone. You could see it as watching a science-fiction movie that’s fun to watch but not based on reality.
You’re doing the best you can with the resources at hand.
Even as children, some people find ways to protect themselves from hurt. One of these ways might be repressing feelings. “In that case, give yourself credit for coming up with a solution that worked when you were small and powerless,” said Eder.
Commend yourself for all the ways you’ve come up with to cope with events in your life.
Now, said Eder, consider allowing those feelings to come out. “You have some catching up to do. And you don’t need to rush to override your old way of survival,” she added.
Sometimes, feeling empty might lead to more distressing thoughts.
If this is your case, Slight said, considering therapy can help. It can help “empower you to make your own decisions about how to implement positive changes.”
If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, unable to function in your daily life, or considering hurting yourself or others, a mental health professional can help.
If you or someone you know is considering self-harm, you’re not alone. Help is available right now:
- Call a crisis hotline, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
- Text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
- If you’re outside of the US, Befrienders Worldwide lists helplines in different countries.
Although it’s natural to feel empty or numb from time to time, these feelings can sometimes linger for two weeks or more.
Acknowledging how you feel and setting a few self-care strategies in place can help. Seeking professional help is also advisable.
“Whether you are experiencing difficult relationships, losses or feeling a lack of purpose or meaning, you are worthy of living a fulfilling and meaningful life,” Slight said.
Here are a few resources to take the first step to feeling better:
- American Psychiatric Association
- American Psychological Association
- National Alliance on Mental Illness
- National Institute of Mental Health
- Project Air
- GriefShare support groups
5 Ways to Heal Your Inner Void ⋆ LonerWolf
Your hectic day has finally lulled to a stop.
There’s nothing left to do. There’s nothing more to say. Now you have time to relax. But instead, the silence descends upon you with oppressive force. You feel suffocated underneath the weight of this momentary, but seemingly eternal, nothingness.
Suddenly that old feeling returns … the feeling of desolation, the feeling of a gaping inner hole inside. Your insides ache under the gnawing pressure of this profound vacuum. How can feeling empty be so terribly painful?
As the feeling intensifies, so does your desire to seek relief. No matter what it takes, you just have to suppress this emptiness a little longer. It seems too hard, too endless to bear such hollowness.
So you reach for a cigarette, your phone, the fridge, the bottle, the remote control, or the next sexual conquest, all in an attempt to escape your old, dark friend: emptiness.
Table of contents
- What is Emptiness?
- 9 Signs You’re Experiencing Emptiness
- Emptiness and Spiritual Awakening
- 3 Reasons Why Emptiness is Haunting You
- 5 Ways to Feel Better if You’re Feeling Empty
What is Emptiness?
Emotionally, emptiness is a feeling of inner desolation: a complete absence of joy, hope, or satisfaction. When a person experiences emptiness, they are plunged into an inner abyss which often results in addictive and escapist behavior.
Feelings connected with emptiness often include despair, depression, and loneliness.
Read: Feeling Alone – 13 Ways to Stop Feeling So Lonely and Isolated »
Nobody ever tells you that emptiness weighs the most.– Anonymous
Signs to look out for include:
- Fear of being left alone
- Lack of meaning in life
- Feeling empty/hollow inside
- Struggling with an existential crisis
- The absence of true happiness or fulfillment
- Addictive behavior (to escape the emptiness)
- Emotional numbness
- Inability to slow down/workaholism (as a form of escape)
- Chronic boredom
Not everyone will share all of these signs, but if you identify with more than half, you are probably struggling with emptiness.
Emptiness and Spiritual Awakening
There’s much more to feeling empty than meets the eye. This is a perplexing emotion (if you can really call it that) that is often closely linked with the process of spiritual awakening. In fact, those who endure chronic emptiness are often led to the spiritual journey in the search for wholeness and inner peace. Trying to cope with the numbness of emptiness each day is enough to eventually trigger major inner life shifts – this can actually be a positive thing. When one’s soul loss (read more about this below) is fully faced and comprehended, a spiritual metamorphosis is ignited.
3 Reasons Why Emptiness is Haunting You
Contrary to all logic and reason – emptiness hurts. You would not believe the pain and the suffering that can come from a thing which, by all accounts … is not even there.– Ranata Suzuki
As a person who has struggled (and still at times struggles) with emptiness, I can tell you that depression is often a symptom, not a cause, of emptiness.
When looking online and listening to others explain emptiness, it is often linked to various mental illnesses such as BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), Schizophrenia, alcohol and drug addiction, anxiety disorders, and of course depression. But to me, these labels are distracting and often times shallow, meaningless, and even harmful because they don’t go to the root cause of what causes emptiness.
Don’t get me wrong, while emptiness is sometimes caused by neurological chemical imbalances, I dare to say that for most people, it goes much deeper than that.
So what are the origins of emptiness? Why does this inner desolation haunt you? I have often explored this topic in-depth privately because it is one of the major issues I have (and still) struggle with.
When it comes to exploring what is really causing your emptiness, be careful. I’ve run into so many justifications which sound true, but in reality, they are band-aid symptoms of much deeper issues. Here are some of those false reasons I’m talking about:
- I don’t have a partner.
- I don’t have enough money.
- I’m not successful enough.
- My partner doesn’t love me anymore.
- I have no close friends.
- My husband/wife is boring.
- I don’t have enough sex.
- I’m not in the right job.
When you dig deep enough, going to the core of each of these issues, you will find some common themes.
Here’s what I’ve found lies at the root of emptiness:
1. Soul Loss
Soul loss means being disconnected from your soul. All of us have experienced soul loss to some extent. Soul loss is caused, and reinforced, by trauma, abuse, childhood conditioning, materialism, and ego-centered living.
Soul loss manifests as the eternal sense that something is “missing” from our lives. In other words, it is disguised as the perpetual “search for happiness” which often results in misguided, futile, and externally-focused pursuits. Our obsession with money, fame, power, beauty, and the “perfect” relationship are all attempts to get back that which we have lost: contact with our soul.
Soul loss is a modern epidemic of epic proportions. It’s symptoms manifest as low self-esteem, suicidal depression, mental illnesses, physical illnesses, rage, grief, and in extreme circumstances, acts of violence, cruelty, and depravity.
Read: 21 Signs You’re Experiencing Soul Loss »
2.Lack of meaning and purpose
When you’ve lost touch with your soul and are feeling empty, you’ll inevitably lose touch with your life purpose. What are you destined to create or do? What does your heart crave to express? How can you experience self-fulfillment? When you experience soul loss … who the hell knows!
We are all brainwashed and conditioned to act in certain ways. Since childhood, we are pressured to conform and fit into nice little boxes by our parents, teachers, and society at large. When we become adults, it’s the same story, except now we mistakenly believe that we are the ones choosing to study that accounting degree, get married young, get a mortgage, rack up huge student debt, and live a socially “acceptable” life.
Because few of us were told to look inwards, we live most of our lives externally. We listen to what everyone tells us about who we should be and ignore who we really are. We try to fix our inner wounds by using external distractions. We lock away anything uncomfortable, confronting, or “deep and meaningful” and prefer the comfortable and commonplace instead.
Why is it that people who experience breakups, job loss, death, and illnesses suffer so greatly? Yes, loss of any kind is painful. But what is more painful is the feeling of emptiness left behind. The creeping sensation that one’s life is not being lived to the fullest, and one’s unique purpose is not being accomplished … now that is fucking scary.
If feeling empty is becoming an increasingly large problem for you, it could signify that you are starting to become more conscious. You’re starting to spiritually awaken. You’re starting to reach breaking point. Your soul, locked away, is sick and tired of being ignored. It is trying to get your attention. Emptiness is the messenger. And although it may seem like a horrible thing to experience, it is actually a blessing in disguise my friend. (More on that soon.)
3. Suppressed and Repressed Emotions
So what happens if you’re living your life purpose? You’re regularly making contact with your soul? You’re devoted to living a path of heart … but that emptiness is still haunting you?
If emptiness is a constant companion with you, even on your spiritual journey, it could be because you are suppressing and repressing emotion.
What is suppression and repression (and what’s the difference)?
Suppression is consciously shutting away your emotions. Repression is unconsciously shutting away your emotions (i.e., you have no conscious awareness that you’re doing it).
If you grew up in an environment that demanded you to be stoic and punished any form of strong emotional expression, you probably struggle with this issue.
The problem with suppressing and repressing emotions is that over time, they begin to build and stagnate within you. The more your emotions are dammed up inside, the more disconnected you feel from yourself. The more disconnected you feel, the more you feel empty.
In other words: you stop feeling your emotions. Life becomes dull and bland. Where you would otherwise feel joy, you feel mild enjoyment. Where you would otherwise feel anger, you feel mild annoyance. Where you would otherwise feel sadness, you feel mild listlessness.
Shutting out your “negative” emotions not only keeps them at bay but through time, it keeps all of your emotions at bay, positive ones included.
If you want to read more about this issue, I recommend checking out our article on emotional numbness.
5 Ways to Feel Better if You’re Feeling Empty
Personally, I feel empty when I’m not permitting myself to experience my emotions – both good and bad – and also when I’m spiritually disconnected. But the cause for your emptiness might be totally different.
Take a few moments to reflect on the causes of emptiness above. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling empty?” and examine each one of the points. Which do you resonate with the most? Keep in mind that it’s possible to feel empty due to all three reasons.
Now you might be wondering “Yeah, OK, I’m feeling empty … but what’s the solution?”
Here are some helpful tips:
1. Establish your own spiritual practice
Connecting with your soul is not a novel, wishy-washy, one-off experience. It is a serious practice. It is a daily practice that one should commit to for life. You need to make an effort every day to introspect and turn inwards in order to reap the most benefits. And when I mention the benefits, I mean everything ranging from the small and subtle, to the paradigm-shifting-mind-blowing-mystical-experiences.
This website is full of suggestions on how to connect with your soul, but here is a great place to start. In my current spiritual practice, I make use of dream work, shadow work, inner child work, journaling, the I Ching and oracle/tarot cards, self-love, meditation, spirit guide contact, and prayer (but my practice often morphs and changes).
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I recommend experimenting with various practices that you feel comfortable with at first. This might range from mainstream spiritual practices to more esoteric methods. The main point is that you need to explore what “soul” feels like. If you’re in desperate need of this contact, I recommend finding a local (or international) authentic/trustworthy shaman who can guide you on a spirit quest through the use of plant medicine. Plants such as psilocybin mushrooms, peyote, san pedro, and ayahuasca provide sacred gateways into the realm of soul and spirit.
2. Seek relentlessly for self-fulfillment
Emptiness is the ‘possibility yet to be filled.’– K. Hara
Start trying to find what will emotionally, mentally, and spiritually fulfill you. This will require you to look inwards and to possibly ignore everything that everyone has ever told you about who you “should” be.
Self-fulfillment is 100% personal and up to you to discover. No one can hand it to you on a silver platter. You have to explore what sets your soul on fire and makes your heart sing. YOU have to take the steps, set the goals, and put in the effort because if you don’t, you will wind up feeling empty and unfulfilled.
Remember, your destiny is in your hands. Once you start taking a proactive approach to your life, you will likely feel much better.
Read: 9 Exhilarating Ways to Be True to Yourself »
3. Allow and embrace your emotions
Feeling our emotions and actively embracing them flies directly in the face of everything we’ve been taught growing up.
In particular, emotions like anger and sadness are shunned and largely feared because of their ferocious power. Such emotions are usually buried and expressed through sports, alcohol binges, workaholism, or relationship conflicts.
One powerful and healthy way of letting your emotions out is through catharsis. Catharsis, when done in a safe and private environment, is immensely liberating. Different forms of catharsis include intense exercise, screaming, dancing, laughing, and crying. I personally enjoy crying and punching catharsis because I struggle with repressed grief and rage.
Other passive forms of catharsis include art therapy and journaling (check out our self-love journal. ) In my book “Awakened Empath,” I also explore a technique called SOAR which helps you to experience and regulate intense emotions. (You can check out our Youtube channel for some examples of SOAR put into action.)
I must stress here that our emotions are not here to be “fixed” or “cured.” You simply cannot rid yourself of anger, jealousy, or grief for your entire life. These emotions are normal and are part of the human experience. What we can do is learn how to let them flow through us without clinging to or dramatizing them. Once all emotions are permitted to dance through you, feeling empty will no longer be a problem for you because life will become vibrant again.
4. Create your own support network
You’re an interesting species. An interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.– Carl Sagan
As much as we like to convince ourselves otherwise, we are not islands. As human beings, we are innately wired to be social. We need some kind of social contact, care, and support to be emotionally and psychologically healthy.
One of the best ways to stop feeling empty is to seek out others. Try to locate those who feel the same way as you and/or are experiencing similar problems. Realizing that a lot of what you experience is a shared human experience has the potential of relieving you from a lot of suffering.
If you don’t have anyone in your life right now, there are always support groups online. You can also look into your local community paper and see if there are any communities you could join. There are free help networks like 7cups online, and you could reach out to a therapist/counselor if you desperately need someone to hold space for you.
Creating a support network doesn’t need to look or be perfect. Even just one or two people can be sufficient enough to help you handle your feelings of emptiness. If you don’t know where to start, hop onto a social media platform and join a group or page to do with emptiness/depression. You can join our group on facebook (called ‘lonerwolf tribe’) if you need a place to go.
5. Create a solid sense of self
This may be unconventional, but I believe that possessing a weak sense of self can be the cause and result of feeling empty.
When we lack a stable ego, we float throat life being tossed here and there with no sense of solidity or wholeness. It’s absolutely imperative that we all have a stable ego as, without it, we simply cannot operate in this world effectively.
As such, possessing a frail sense of self is kind of like being a vagabond with no home to return to – and feeling empty is often a result. Psychologically speaking, we need to be like the humble snail who carries its shell (ego) around as both a form of protection and shelter.
I have written more about how to develop a stronger sense of self in the past (you can explore that more in-depth if you like). But for now, here are a few suggestions:
- Who are you? What qualities do you love the most in yourself? What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? Record your responses in a journal, making sure that they’re you’re original thoughts (and you’re not regurgitating what other’s have told you)
- Reflect on what you genuinely enjoy or what gives your life meaning, and begin to explore these subjects/paths. (Even if it feels a little silly, that’s okay! Be true to yourself.)
- Take some free personality tests.
- Learn how to set personal boundaries with others. This will help you to build a grounded sense of self.
Having a weak sense of self (and the resulting sense of emptiness) is often due to living in a dysfunctional and toxically enmeshed family as a child. If you were raised in an overly-strict family with rigid roles, you were likely taught that “it’s not okay to be you. ” This, of course, is utter bollocks. Learning how to love yourself and caring for your inner child will also be tremendously helpful in not only creating a strong identity, but accepting that identity fully.
Feeling empty is often a sign that you’re disconnected from something – whether that be your soul, a lack meaning/purpose, or your emotions. But whatever the case, the life force energy within you has become blocked.
While trying to learn how to overcome inner emptiness can be complex and daunting, I hope this article has taken off some of the strain. My advice is to keep pushing yourself in the direction of growth and expansion. Start small. Keep experimenting. Keep going. What you’re experiencing has a purpose and above all, you are not alone.
So tell me, what is your journey with emptiness? Which of the above practices do you plan to explore? Please share below. You never know: your story might help others feel less alone.90,000 causes, symptoms and how to deal with?
You go to work, study, make plans, everything suits you and suddenly everything loses its meaning. What was useful yesterday is useless today. Where does the emptiness inside come from and how not to fight it? How to feel the joy of life during such a spiritual "abyss"? What needs to be done to combat the inner cold and emptiness? If you find a “desert” inside you, it’s time to plant a “flowering garden”. Read to the end and there will no longer be a feeling of emptiness inside you. nine0003
Causes of feelings of emptiness.
When you realize “I can no longer fight indifference to everything”, then it's time to give yourself a moral shake-up. It is important to understand why life has ceased to boil inside you, and you resemble a squeezed lemon. Psychological decline cannot arise just like that - it has a rationale. Why has ordinary life turned into a kind of gray mass, where there is neither joy nor a sense of freedom? Life turns into a black and white movie when a person is morally exhausted. Routine, eternal fuss gradually takes away energy. nine0003
If the first year of office work with a strict boss was bearable, then after three years you don't want to just get out of bed and even think about going to work. The presence of stress is another factor that can drive a person into a corner, take away any desire to act. Fear of drastic changes, loss of something, critical situations for which we are not ready - this inspires a feeling of loneliness and devastation.
The emptiness inside is often the result of shocks. How can you think positively when your friend has betrayed you or, conversely, you let him down? When you spent the whole night creating a project to attract investment in your business, and your competitor bribed investors and won. Shock is a great stress that knocks a person off the usual path. nine0003
Take a depression test
When important goals are replaced by unplanned situations, the psyche can not stand it. Usually, after such a shake-up, a person says “I can’t take it anymore” and he has a frightening feeling of emptiness in his soul. The acute period has passed, but the consequences of it leave a detrimental imprint. Here there is a difficulty to return to the usual rhythm of life and again want to act for new results. If you lose what you have been saving for so long, what you valued, your hands drop, and silence sets in inside. nine0003
There is an emptiness inside, but what to do next? Under the influence of indifference, melancholy, apathy comes depression. Under its influence, a person acquires the status of "hopelessness" and a complete lack of initiative to do anything. Therefore, as soon as emptiness has entered the soul, it must be expelled with all efforts. Otherwise, a person ceases to be a person, and his life becomes like a mess. In order not to completely alienate relatives, friends, and the prospect of being happy in such a state, you need to distinguish between true reasons and false ones. Often, emptiness is a simulated state in which we lure ourselves into, due to such reasons:
- Lack of attention or lack of privacy. "I'm so lonely/lonely, no one loves me." You need to go to a meeting to communicate with interesting people and not become isolated in yourself.
- The whole day at work is completely exhausting, and then all that remains is to lie down on the sofa and watch TV. The work requires a responsible approach, the fulfillment of duties that sometimes go against the grain of the employee. It is important to be ready to contribute or think about finding a more interesting job. We ourselves create the framework in which we experience oppression. nine0022
- A long wait for success gradually takes away energy. After a while, any desire to achieve goals disappears. When you do not feel the result, the effect of your actions, you gradually lose interest. You need to reconsider your views on the venture or pay attention to another type of activity.
- "I can no longer live in poverty, I don't want to be with these people, I deserve better." Lack of benefits, dissatisfaction with communication makes every day gray, and a person a pessimist. Just what have you done to live in prosperity and be surrounded by the right people? It is important to take steps to get out of the social bottom. nine0022
Take the test: optimist or pessimist
Symptoms of emptiness inside.
- Feeling of inferiority. Complexes about appearance, success, social status - this makes you not so complete in the eyes of others. You feel worthless, lack of opportunities to attract attention.
- You set outrageous goals. The search for ideals collapses in the collapse of your plans when you encounter difficulties.
- Indifference to others and great laziness. So I don’t want to make efforts on myself to get on my feet. This is especially expressed when you are unemployed for a long time, you do not set goals, you are underestimated in society. nine0022
- Fear of creating relationships. A phobia to approach a nice person and talk to him, although you have liked him for a long time. I really want happiness, tenderness, but you feel that you will not be able to take a decisive step. You are left alone with your fears and prejudices.
- The emptiness inside arises from the understanding of meaninglessness. You go to work to allow yourself to eat, to live, it lasts for years, the days seem gray, and you are indifferent. Circumstances, routine make a person a hostage. nine0022
- Thoughts of suicide appear when you realize your helplessness. A serious illness, the loss of a valuable person, the loss of values - great shocks take away common sense and instill chronic mental pain.
- Surrounding people constantly condemn, society presses, does not accept you in your true form. A person feels his hopelessness, because he does not fit into any framework, and his attempts are bombarded by a flurry of negativity.
How to deal with this feeling?
Whatever the emptiness inside is, and because of what it has arisen, there are always ways of rehabilitation. This state can easily go where it came from. Mistakenly, in the "broken" period, people turn to alcohol and other addictions. nine0003
The opinion that temporary pleasure will free one from the state of emptiness is extremely erroneous. This will not give confidence, but, on the contrary, will accustom you to other addictions. In order not to pull yourself out of a larger quagmire of problems later, it is better to heed the following recommendations:
1. Be able to trust.
When cats are fighting inside, and you feel helpless, you should turn to your closest ones. You should not withdraw into yourself, but it is better to ask for support from those who will always understand. It is important to find someone you really trust. Sincere relationships allow you to find understanding, consolation, love. nine0003
2. Distract yourself from the negative.
Everything has piled on and does not allow you to breathe freely? The moral void will gradually go away if you pause. Why not go to the mountains from this noisy metropolis, from this fuss? In nature, one feels inner harmony, which was lacking all this time. Inner loneliness often heals solitude surrounded by nature, peace of mind, a new environment. If you have been wanting to go on a trip for a long time, it's time to buy tickets and let the adventures come to life. For starters, it doesn’t hurt to at least go to the cinema, sing karaoke, make homemade sushi and invite guests! nine0003
3. Let feelings into your life.
I can no longer be alone with myself, I lack feelings. The mood to create a personal life is a natural desire. How long can you live in the cold, be detached, look back at the touching dates of friends and go on your way? If you saved yourself until better times, then it's probably time to become alive and draw attention to your side.
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4. Make an emotional shake-up. nine0057
When life is like a dry field full of weeds, it is important to renew it and sow a new crop. Feelings and emotional shaking go hand in hand. You can also shake frozen emotions. You cannot always be an idol, go headlong and not experience emotions. There is a mood to cry, sing your favorite songs with a guitar, go to a club for dancing, skydive or sign up for martial arts. This will turn on your real mode and let a new breath into your life.
5. Pay attention to development. nine0057
Emptiness can deprive a person of any opportunity to get on his feet in order to achieve success. You can't let circumstances take over. Do you dream of being an entrepreneur? It is important to communicate with successful people, go to personal growth trainings, read a lot of literature. Do you have a secret desire to try your hand at acting or perform on stage? Do not deny yourself the idea of expressing yourself.
Why not get a special education, watch educational videos, find useful contacts. It is important to work your way to a better future and assert yourself. Then emptiness will have no place in your life. nine0003
6. Find your own interests.
Work-home-work-bar-home-cafe and so on in a circle. Routine not only erases the boundaries of reality, it kills in you all interest in another kind of activity. On weekends, you can go out of town to pick mushrooms or visit the swimming pool. Hobbies dilute ordinary days that make you be responsible, do duties, maybe pretend. Hobbies are a way to regain freedom and a taste for creativity.
If the emptiness inside does not give you peace, apply these tips and you will feel the result. Do not be afraid to make mistakes, try to take control of the situation and start the path of your own liberation. It may be difficult at first, but soon this terrible feeling of devastation will leave you. Do not let every little thing negatively affect you, but strive to remain neutral - this will save your state and give you a sense of confidence. nine0003
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Emptiness in the soul: causes, symptoms and first aid
Reading time 8 minutes
How to fill the emptiness in the soul? It happens that life loses its colors, emotions and feelings become dull, energy drops, nothing else interests. A person begins to get bored, apathetic, he is seized by the meaninglessness of existence, depression comes. The reasons for this phenomenon may be different. It is necessary to get rid of emptiness, as it affects mental and physical health. nine0003
What is the soul
When answering the question: "What if there is emptiness in the shower?" It is worth understanding what the soul is. Religious, philosophical and mythological traditions characterize the feeling of emptiness from different angles.
Most often, the concept of the soul includes an incorporeal essence that is in a living being. From the point of view of psychology - this is the mind, feelings, character, awareness of reality, human memory, perception and thinking. nine0012 If one of the components is missing, then it is considered that emptiness settles in life.
Philosophical systems may recognize or deny the immortality of the soul . In Christianity and Judaism, the soul is believed to be immortal. Thomas Aquinas (Catholic theologian) said that the essence of man does not die. He also argued about the presence of the soul exclusively of humanity (according to his theory, animals did not have a soul).
Other religions teach that all organisms have a soul . For example, confirmation of this can be found in Hinduism and Jainism. Some non-biological objects can also be alive - this is evidenced by animism. Therefore, spiritual emptiness can be in everything that exists.
Science regards the soul as a construct denoting a certain substance . It is located in the human brain. Scientists still cannot prove or disprove the existence of a higher essence in man, living and inanimate world.
According to biologist Cyril Barret, the soul refers to an idea that was invented and cultivated by people themselves . They wanted to imagine that existence has a conscience. The expert referred to the fact that the supreme essence is a complex organization of matter in the human brain. The soul has a biological explanation.
At the beginning of the last century, an experiment was conducted by Duncan McDougall. He measured the weight of patients during their lifetime and after leaving the other world. The scientist believed that at the time of death a person was losing weight. The soul weighed 21 grams. Presumably the essence was in the heart.
Causes of spiritual emptiness
There is emptiness in the soul. What to do? Fill your heart with love. This is the simplest answer to a difficult question. Usually a void arises inside a person, since he has no interests or he does not love anyone. It is important to love yourself first.
You can fill the void in your soul with the help of the spiritual source of love . You need to make connections with him. As soon as a person loves himself, stops ignoring his feelings, trying to overshadow them with drugs or rituals, the feeling of empty space and meaninglessness will disappear. nine0003
It is important not to have false ideas about yourself. In this case, wounds remain on the ego. The latter makes a person think that he is unattractive or not good enough. Creation cannot be wrong or bad . It is ideal by nature, and this should always be remembered. With a long stay in a feeling of lack of inner love and not knowing how to fill the void in the soul, a feeling of deep loneliness and detachment from the real world arises.
Programmed self-destructive beliefs have no true basis . They try to control human life, constantly make you feel depressed, focus on negative emotions. The individual thinks that he is not good enough, so he turns to drugs and alcohol as a means of escaping from reality. This is a defensive reaction that leads nowhere. So it will not work to fill the empty space inside.
False causes of spiritual emptiness
How to fill the emptiness in the soul? Can you always feel happy? And to arrive in harmony with yourself and the outside world? The answer is unequivocal - yes. One has only to discover the truth that a person is able to fill his life with positive energy and manage it independently. nine0003
The main reason for the feeling of empty space inside oneself lies in false beliefs about the emergence of the process. It is customary to rank among them:
- The partner does not give enough affection and does not pay the necessary attention.
- There is no reliable companion in life.
- High ambitions that cannot be satisfied at work.
- Expectations from taking off on the career ladder, their unjustified.
- Lack of funds for a certain standard of living. nine0022
- Boring and uninteresting everyday life.
- Lack of love, attention from a close circle of people.
- Life is seen as continuous workdays.
Also, the cause may be an acute lack of love relationships. Sometimes an individual does not know how to properly cope with problems and minor troubles that develop into serious conflict situations.
The above points are easily solved. You should not take them to heart, and even more so make the cause of emptiness in the soul. To cope with such a state, people usually perform rituals:
- Eat a lot of sweets . Drugs and alcohol are used, even if there was no craving for this before.
- Detachment from the real state of things in the world , which contributes to immersion in television, the Internet, shopping, gambling.
- At such moments, the void begins to fill, but this is a false sensation .
- Inappropriate behavior is another attempt to deal with the problem. This grabs the attention of the people around you. nine0022
How to fill the void in the soul, and what to do if nothing helps? At least refuse the listed rituals. They do not solve the situation, but only exacerbate it. These methods only work for a short time. After the individual returns to a depressive state. Separate symptoms are removed, the picture as a whole does not change.
Symptoms of spiritual emptiness
There are certain symptoms when you can understand that a person has emptiness in his soul. Symptoms were formulated by psychologists and psychoanalysts:
- The individual thinks he is not good enough, or that certain people have high expectations of him
- Constant striving to be useful to everyone. Such people have a false sense of guilt literally in front of everyone
- Personality wants to be always and in everything ideal
- A person does not want to do anything and not have a conversation with anyone
- Fears hinder a life full of joy and happiness. Obsessive phobias follow on the heels of
- Every day the individual is worried that he is not smart enough, beautiful and successful. The result is apathy
- There is a feeling of being a victim, as well as the fatality and irreversibility of life
- There is an understanding of the meaninglessness of being, no more ideas about how to fill the void in the soul
- The owner of this disorder constantly feels helpless and unhappy . Pessimistic thoughts slip through, they may not leave consciousness for a long time. nine0022
- It seems to a person that his love and feelings are not important . He does not want to give his love to anyone and appreciate anyone. An individual loses or gains weight for no reason, he develops chronic pain, insomnia. There may also be skin and gastrointestinal diseases.
- In rare cases, suicidal thoughts appear . The person thinks that emptiness can only go away after death. Feeling anxious and depressed. Such people expect that their activities and personal lives will be discussed by others, constantly envying their success. nine0022
When people are looking for an answer to the question of how to fill the void in their soul, they usually tend to various addictions. Alcohol and drugs come to the fore. They give a false sense of fullness.
What to do in case of spiritual emptiness
It is not easy to overcome the state of emptiness inside, but it is possible. It is impossible to have a superficial attitude to such a situation. It must be remembered that such a feeling requires treatment, like any phobia or depression.
In most cases, a person feels internal discomfort. It is important at this moment to seek help from a specialist:
It also happens that you need additional support from doctors from other areas . Everything individually and directly depends on the symptoms of mental pain. Changes for no reason at the mental and physical level are diagnosed by an endocrinologist and a nutritionist. Against the backdrop of spiritual emptiness, a therapist will help get rid of chronic pain. He usually recommends taking painkillers with a sparing effect. nine0003
In addition to medication, serious self-care may be needed . This eliminates the feeling of empty space. Sometimes you need to have the courage to make changes in your daily life. It is important to choose completely unexpected ways, to identify and eradicate sources of internal discomfort. It can be old friends, not an interesting job, an inappropriate life partner. Sometimes creativity helps, getting rid of unhealthy relationships, old habits. nine0003
How to fill the void in the soul? You should try to love yourself and the world around you . Make changes to the actions that are performed every day, make your inner world and your guidelines different.
Inner emptiness can develop into a deep depression. For this reason, attention is needed both to oneself and from loved ones. Sometimes it is difficult to cope with this phenomenon on your own. It takes a lot of will power. You need to ask the question: who do I want to be, how much I live a full life, and what needs to be done to correct the situation. nine0003
Emergency measures look like this:
- Complain to everyone everywhere . So you can look at yourself from the outside, voice everything that worries. The main thing is to find a person who is ready to listen to all the aspirations.
- Trust people as much as possible . This is often difficult to do, especially after a recent betrayal. You need to look closely at the environment more often, look for reliable partners and friends.
- Independently look for the cause of the internal state is another way to deal with a depressive state. Self-digging will help. It is important not to get too carried away, try to find rational arguments, what actions were wrong, what I would like to correct.
Psychologists also recommend looking for the cause of your condition. You need to stir up your emotions as soon as possible. It is important not to be indifferent. Adrenaline should rush into the blood. For example, it is recommended to take up an active sport, read a dramatic book or watch a funny movie. nine0003
It is worth finding things that may be of real interest to , thinking about future events. For example, if you love books, psychologists advise you to look into bookstores more often. The plot easily captivates, the same applies to fans of the series.
In such a state, it is better to refrain from communicating with advisers , the choice of an interlocutor must be approached carefully. Wrong decisions or untimely information plunges a person into a deep depression. It is recommended to invite people with a positive outlook on life, a thirst for energy and action. It is desirable that the company heard laughter and jokes. nine0003
Another option is listening to your favorite music . No need to be shy to sing along to your favorite artist or dance. In some cases, it is enough to visit an art gallery or an exhibition in a museum.
Having pets also helps . They require constant love and care.