Does my husband have a sex addiction
SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA
Solr Mobile Search
Share Buttons
Your browser is not supported
Switch to Chrome, Edge, Firefox or Safari
Main page content
-
SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.
Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.
The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.
English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.
In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.
The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.
The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.
No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.
-
Suggested Resources
What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery. Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.
Last Updated
Last Updated: 08/30/2022
Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs
Solr Mobile Search
Share Buttons
Your browser is not supported
Switch to Chrome, Edge, Firefox or Safari
Misusing alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can have both immediate and long-term health effects.The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. NSDUH estimates allow researchers, clinicians, policymakers, and the general public to better understand and improve the nation’s behavioral health. These reports and detailed tables present estimates from the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).
Alcohol
Data:
- Among the 133.1 million current alcohol users aged 12 or older in 2021, 60.0 million people (or 45.1%) were past month binge drinkers. The percentage of people who were past month binge drinkers was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (29.2% or 9.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (22.4% or 49.3 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (3.8% or 995,000 people). (2021 NSDUH)
- Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 15.1% (or 5.9 million people) were past month alcohol users. Estimates of binge alcohol use and heavy alcohol use in the past month among underage people were 8.3% (or 3.2 million people) and 1.6% (or 613,000 people), respectively. (2021 NSDUH)
- In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (i.e., current alcohol users) (2020 NSDUH)
- Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44. 4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)
- The percentage of people who were past month binge alcohol users was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (31.4%) compared with 22.9% of adults aged 26 or older and 4.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
- Excessive alcohol use can increase a person’s risk of stroke, liver cirrhosis, alcoholic hepatitis, cancer, and other serious health conditions
- Excessive alcohol use can also lead to risk-taking behavior, including driving while impaired. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver daily
Programs/Initiatives:
- STOP Underage Drinking interagency portal - Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
- Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
- Talk. They Hear You.
- Underage Drinking: Myths vs. Facts
- Talking with your College-Bound Young Adult About Alcohol
Relevant links:
- National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors
- Department of Transportation Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy & Compliance
- Alcohol Policy Information Systems Database (APIS)
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
Tobacco
Data:
- In 2020, 20.7% of people aged 12 or older (or 57.3 million people) used nicotine products (i.e., used tobacco products or vaped nicotine) in the past month (2020 NSDUH)
- Among past month users of nicotine products, nearly two thirds of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (63.1%) vaped nicotine but did not use tobacco products. In contrast, 88.9% of past month nicotine product users aged 26 or older used only tobacco products (2020 NSDUH)
- Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death, often leading to lung cancer, respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, and other serious illnesses. The CDC reports that cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States
- The CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health reports that more than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking cigarettes
Electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) use data:
- In 2021, 13.2 million people aged 12 or older (or 4.7%) used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. The percentage of people who vaped nicotine was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (14.1% or 4.7 million people), followed by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (5.2% or 1.4 million people), then by adults aged 26 or older (3.2% or 7.1 million people).
- Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 11.0% (or 4.3 million people) used tobacco products or used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. Among people in this age group, 8.1% (or 3.1 million people) vaped nicotine, 5.4% (or 2.1 million people) used tobacco products, and 3. 4% (or 1.3 million people) smoked cigarettes in the past month. (2021 NSDUH)
- Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2020 National Youth Tobacco Survey. Among both middle and high school students, current use of e-cigarettes declined from 2019 to 2020, reversing previous trends and returning current e-cigarette use to levels similar to those observed in 2018
- E-cigarettes are not safe for youth, young adults, or pregnant women, especially because they contain nicotine and other chemicals
Resources:
- Tips for Teens: Tobacco
- Tips for Teens: E-cigarettes
- Implementing Tobacco Cessation Programs in Substance Use Disorder Treatment Settings
- Synar Amendment Program
Links:
- Truth Initiative
- FDA Center for Tobacco Products
- CDC Office on Smoking and Health
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Tobacco, Nicotine, and E-Cigarettes
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: E-Cigarettes
Opioids
Data:
- Among people aged 12 or older in 2021, 3. 3% (or 9.2 million people) misused opioids (heroin or prescription pain relievers) in the past year. Among the 9.2 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 8.7 million people misused prescription pain relievers compared with 1.1 million people who used heroin. These numbers include 574,000 people who both misused prescription pain relievers and used heroin in the past year. (2021 NSDUH)
- Among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 3.4% (or 9.5 million people) misused opioids in the past year. Among the 9.5 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 9.3 million people misused prescription pain relievers and 902,000 people used heroin (2020 NSDUH)
- According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Understanding the Epidemic, an average of 128 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose
Resources:
- Medications for Substance Use Disorders
- Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit
- TIP 63: Medications for Opioid Use Disorder
- Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Opioid Use Disorder in Criminal Justice Settings
- Opioid Use Disorder and Pregnancy
- Clinical Guidance for Treating Pregnant and Parenting Women With Opioid Use Disorder and Their Infants
- The Facts about Buprenorphine for Treatment of Opioid Addiction
- Pregnancy Planning for Women Being Treated for Opioid Use Disorder
- Tips for Teens: Opioids
- Rural Opioid Technical Assistance Grants
- Tribal Opioid Response Grants
- Provider’s Clinical Support System - Medication Assisted Treatment Grant Program
Links:
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Opioids
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Heroin
- HHS Prevent Opioid Abuse
- Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America
- Addiction Technology Transfer Center (ATTC) Network
- Prevention Technology Transfer Center (PTTC) Network
Marijuana
Data:
- In 2021, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug, with 18. 7% of people aged 12 or older (or 52.5 million people) using it in the past year. The percentage was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (35.4% or 11.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (17.2% or 37.9 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (10.5% or 2.7 million people).
- The percentage of people who used marijuana in the past year was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (34.5%) compared with 16.3% of adults aged 26 or older and 10.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
- Marijuana can impair judgment and distort perception in the short term and can lead to memory impairment in the long term
- Marijuana can have significant health effects on youth and pregnant women.
Resources:
- Know the Risks of Marijuana
- Marijuana and Pregnancy
- Tips for Teens: Marijuana
Relevant links:
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana
- Addiction Technology Transfer Centers on Marijuana
- CDC Marijuana and Public Health
Emerging Trends in Substance Misuse:
- Methamphetamine—In 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year. Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia.
- Cocaine—In 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
- Kratom—In 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors. It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.
Resources:
- Tips for Teens: Methamphetamine
- Tips for Teens: Cocaine
- National Institute on Drug Abuse
More SAMHSA publications on substance use prevention and treatment.
Last Updated
Last Updated: 03/22/2023
What is sex addiction - Afisha Daily
Afisha Daily talked to a man and a woman who believe they suffer from sex addiction and asked a sexologist to dispel the myths around this phenomenon.
Irina, 31 years old
Medical analyst
About awareness
At the age of 13, I began to be very interested in sex — I thought it was the same with everyone. Then there were a lot of books for girls, where they wrote about the first time and about how it should be. In these books they never said (and I specifically looked for) what to do if you really want to, but there is no one to do it with. Then I thought that something was probably wrong with me, since there was no answer to my question.
Public attitudes still influenced me. For example, I decided to keep my virginity until a certain point. Because of this, I refused vaginal sex and settled for other forms of sex. The first erotic experiences were even before I was 14. I had 4-5 guys a year, and with all of them I did petting and oral sex. I didn’t do much masturbation, and I still don’t know how to do it very well. At 15, I lost my virginity with my first love.
Difficulties
My mother caught me with a boyfriend when I was 15. I never talked to her about my peculiarities, but I think she guesses. One day she said a phrase from which it became clear: she is aware that I constantly need a partner.
There were sometimes problems at school because of my relationships with guys. One day my good friend, with whom we had sex, got drunk and started telling his friends how much fun he had with me. And we have a small town, rumors spread quickly. This resulted in a small scandal: my reputation suffered, and I was terribly offended by a friend - we never talked again.
There were some rumors. But I am an honest, clean person. I won't take anyone away. I don’t understand why take a husband or boyfriend away: there are a lot of free ones. And in my university, everyone had their oddities. My girlfriends did not understand me, because they were mostly virgins, but they treated me calmly.
My mother was most afraid that I would become pregnant, and this happened in my second year. She thought that I would leave the institute, but this did not happen, I finished my studies. We got married, among other things, in order to reassure our parents. The first year after the birth of the child, there was no strong desire, but then everything became as before. The marriage broke up after a few years, but not because of sex. I just felt like I outgrew that relationship.
At that time, twice a week was enough for me. It seems to me that this is an average, especially when you are 20 years old and you have a regular partner. But without those two times a week, I really couldn't function properly. After about a week without sex, obsessive thoughts appeared, aggression increased. From age 14 to 25, my longest break was one month. After three weeks of abstinence, my hands began to shake, I had big problems with sleep and food. I don't know for sure because I don't have any other dependencies, but I think it looks like a break. I climbed the wall. By the end of the month, I was not human.
I always realized that this was a problem, because this feature had to be constantly adjusted: like, for example, if we need to eat, we need to get food somewhere. When I needed to move to another city, I really tensed up: how come, I don’t have anyone there, so I urgently need to find someone, otherwise I won’t be able to function normally. You need to think about this all the time: you need to have a partner all the time, and if you don’t have one, you need to look for it.
Often I had several constant lovers: someone came once a week, and someone came twice. I did not seek sexual contact with different people - it was more of a necessity, because I need more sex than others. To be honest, even then I would gladly have one. I would not say that in my life there were just a huge number of partners: maybe 30. I have been with the same man for eight years now.
All lovers were aware that this was not an exclusive relationship. I can't lie and invent. Moreover, it was so difficult to build all this logistics: for example, no one can come this week, but everyone can come the next. One night stands were common, but I never liked putting in so much effort for one night. Especially since the first time is usually not the best.
The main problem is that my behavior was very different from what people expect from a woman. They expect you to break down, so you need to take care of it. But with me it's the other way around: first give me sex, and then courtship. I couldn't wait a month to be invited on a date. I took the bull by the horns, and many were frightened. I said that if you can't come twice a week, I need someone else. If my partner and I, for example, lived together, he simply knew that it was impossible to leave me for a long time. For two weeks it is possible, but more than three is quite heroism on my part.
One day after my divorce from my first husband, I didn't have sex for a week or two. I was riding the subway and saw a young man that I liked. I didn’t even ask his name, but simply said: “Do you want to come home to me?” He said: "I want." I brought him to me. We had sex, he left - and that's it.
Partners were from work, school, bars and nightclubs. I don’t understand at all why go to nightclubs if you don’t go out with someone. It seemed to me that this was a continuation of the night. What is the point of going there, suffering, staying up all night and leaving alone?
About the difference between men and women
Addiction gave me the ability to understand men better than my girlfriends, who say: “If she loves, let her wait six months” - or something like that. I know some people just can't wait.
There are no people with sexual addiction among my acquaintances. As a teenager, I thought that others were the same as me, especially guys. At first it seemed to me that all men should always want sex, and someone can just restrain himself so as not to cheat on his wife. It turned out that many men in general very rarely need sex - about once a month. They show on TV that men always want sex. It's probably hard for them to live with it.
I had one semi-erotic experience with a girl I liked, but it didn't go any further. I realized that everything is very difficult with women. First, it was not clear whether she wanted to continue or not. Everything is easy with men, and most importantly, they almost always like it. After that, I greatly respected my men. It seemed to me that they were doing a difficult job that I could not do.
On the one hand, it is difficult for a woman with sexual addiction, because society denies the existence of such women in principle. There is a feeling that you live in a gray field. On the other hand, a man with a sexual addiction needs to make efforts to satisfy his needs: pay money, lie, buy something. A woman, especially a young one, is easier in this sense. Went out and took it. And rarely does anyone refuse.
Perhaps there is no addiction now, because I feel good with my husband. Before, especially in my teens, it was difficult for me to achieve an orgasm. The partner really had to try for this. Although if there was no orgasm in sex, it was still valuable to me, because it relieved some of the tension.
Aleksey, 30 years old
Entrepreneur
About addiction and partners
In my youth, there were not very many sexual partners (by partners, I mean girls), so I did not pay attention to my peculiarity. I had a serious relationship twice, which lasted almost ten years in total. They came to an end primarily because the partners were much less interested in sex than I was. I can't approach sex mechanically when I just twitched and that's it. And the partners were very often ready to have sex, because I needed it. It did not suit me at all, because the emotional component was absent.
When I was in a long-term relationship, I could have sex with one of my girlfriends. It is important for me to know a person - probably, this is largely about safety. I can only speak of sex with a stranger from the subway as an abstract fantasy. When you can open up to a person and engage in all sorts of harmless perversions with him, the level of trust rises, you reach a more intimate level of communication. This is why I have sex.
A little less than six months ago, I had a permanent partner, with whom we, fortunately, coincided. We can have sex three or four times a day. The only problem is that then there is not enough time for anything. I think the acute phase of addiction is still going on for me. Sometimes, when we go home, I can masturbate five more times while watching porn.
In total, I had about 40 or 50 partners - I honestly lost count when there were about 20. Of course, I often need new people, but I prefer to go in the direction of quality, because over time and I open up, and people open up. They say that many women do not experience orgasm during sex, but in my experience, very many are capable of even squirting. For most partners, I was the first person they felt it with. But this never happens for the first time and even in the first week of sexual relations.
Challenges
My job depends on being able to get people to buy a product. We create quite expensive products, and they take a lot of time, inspiration and involvement are required in production. But when sexual desire is a priority, the work gets up. Instead of doing it, you sit all the time on dating sites, watch pornography, go on dates. In fact, sex is very labor-intensive and time-consuming. If you do not have a permanent partner and you need a lot of sex, it can take almost all the time to search. Also, when you work with your peers, you begin to perceive them as sexual objects. In some cases, this was not very convenient.
Unfortunately, I asked for help. It is very difficult to find a good specialist: in Moscow they are terribly expensive - and as a result, I found a psychologist from a large provincial city, with whom we communicated via Skype. It was a bad experience: I got the impression that she had a very poor understanding of what I was talking about. After a couple of months of work, we did not come to anything.
Most of the information I got from books: it was useful at least in order to direct my own energy in a creative direction. I can’t say that I have solved all my problems: I still spend a lot of time on sex and little on work. What I'm most interested in is how to connect my own sexuality, which takes up a good half of me, with the rest of me, which has to earn money and establish business connections. I don't know the answer to this question yet.
Too much sex can lead to inflammation of the prostate and other consequences. I don't know if everything is fine with me in this regard. It would be worth going to the doctor. But I am regularly tested for HIV and hepatitis; and STDs should be checked more often. When there is no permanent partner, I make sure to check in about once every three months. I use a condom with a non-permanent partner, but not with a regular one.
I think it doesn't matter what society thinks. If one of my acquaintances found out about my features and began to say something negative, I would not care. I myself can name ten reasons why I don't like it. If they are stupid enough not to understand and accept me, that is their problem. But at the same time, I do not stick out my sexual side and do not connect it with everyday life: what happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom.
I almost never talked about sex with men, so I can only talk about the behavior of women. According to my observations, if a girl has a bright sexuality, she turns on only when the girl is in love. And when she is not in love, her libido drops to almost zero. One of my acquaintances is married for a long time, and she and her husband have almost no sex, but when she falls in love (and she fell in love with me, for example), it can turn into five times a day.
About the reasons
I have no answer to the question why I am like this. My biggest problem is not that I need a lot of sex, but that I am obsessed with group sex. Even if I have sex with one person, I still have fantasies about the fact that he is not alone. It turns me on, and for partners it means that I don’t really appreciate the relationship. At the same time, I am not interested in group sex without a permanent partner - for me this is a joint adventure, team building, so to speak. But in fact, it is very difficult to find even a third partner (and I would rather like it to be a man). It is necessary that both me and the partner like the person, and that we all coincide. I had group sex, but it was all far from being satisfied. Now I want to close this gestalt and stop thinking about it.
I am sure that there are practically no people who would meet all the standards. Probably, some deviations are accompanied by hypersexuality, some - complete asexuality, which I also met. I can't say what I have. Maybe just curiosity and a desire to explore. For sure, I can only say that it entails, I like it and I just can't stop. It's probably like with drugs.
If you have frequent sex, have many sexual partners outside of relationships, love sex, if you are polyamorous, if you are attracted to people of the same sex, fetishes, domination and submission - this does not mean that you have a sexual addiction. Just like drinking and enjoying alcohol does not make you an alcoholic.
If you or your partner don't like something about your sexual behavior, that doesn't make you a sex addict either. Also, one should not confuse people who commit sexual crimes with people who are sexually addicted. The latter, in the overwhelming majority of cases, enter into a voluntary and not prohibited by law relationship.
You can talk about sex addiction when you can't stop, when it goes on for a long time, and your life starts to fall apart. When it negatively affects work, family relationships, health, when you become infected with sexually transmitted diseases and infect others. In general, when you experience repeated intense experiences associated with sexual fantasies, impulses, urges, and behaviors that cause distress and psychosocial problems.
Typical signs of sexual addiction include constant porn viewing (with or without masturbation), frequent sex with new partners (when contacts are anonymous and for one night only), sexting, hours of texting with partners, excessive use of dating apps, including special applications for fast sex. Often, sex addicts lead a kind of double life, hide their connections, feel shame for their behavior and are afraid of exposure. Sexual fantasies, finding a partner, and having sex take up a disproportionate amount of their time. They experience incredible excitement from anticipation, search, seduction, but sex brings only short relief. At the same time, the person again and again promises himself to stop, but he cannot and, as if in a fog, finds himself in a situation that he avoided.
It is considered a problem when these or more of these signs have been observed for at least six months, and the person in question is over 18 years old.
Contrary to popular belief, sex addicts are not perverts and degraded people. These are ordinary people that we meet every day. Many of them grew up in an unstable family, lived next to relatives with mental disorders or alcoholism, where they did not have the experience of secure attachment. Some have been sexually abused, traumatized. Some sex addicts were raised by a narcissistic parent who gave warmth and approval only when the child did what the parent wanted. The child did not get the experience of intimacy and grew up without learning how to satisfy his needs within the framework of close relationships, where a person shows his vulnerability and healthy dependence on a partner. Unaccustomed to intimacy, comfort, trust and security, they derive satisfaction from intense emotions, including those associated with sex. Today, many therapists view such behavior as coping, that is, helping people cope with negative emotions. This pattern of behavior works, relieves tension for a while, but that is why it is so difficult to get rid of it.
In Russia and the rest of the world, ICD-10 (International Classification of Diseases 10th Revision. - Note ed. ) is now used. It has a category F52.7 - increased sexual desire. My experience with fellow sexologists shows that they are not inclined to make this diagnosis. They code it according to the leading symptomatology, often in the categories of mood disorders, personality disorders, or sexual deviations.
The prevalence of sexual dependence disorders is 3-6%, although no large epidemiological studies have been conducted. Most sex addicts are men. The onset of the disorder usually occurs in late adolescence. Perhaps the lower number of women in the studies is due to stigma and cultural characteristics that lead them to withhold information.
Treatment of the disorder is difficult due to lack of research in this area. It usually requires a combination of pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy. In my practice, I rarely meet with people who turn to me specifically in connection with sexual addiction. Usually, a pre-divorce situation or an increase in anxiety symptoms, depression due to the loss of a partner - that is, some kind of crisis - lead to people's therapy. And only then we discover that there is a sexual addiction.
The editors would like to thank Elena Rydkina and Daria Sargsyan for their help in preparing the material.
The names of the heroes of the material have been changed.
tell your friends
tags
sex addictionpsychologyhow to livepsychology
How to understand that a partner has a sexual addiction?
10,114
SexMan and womanRelationship crisis
18+
- Photos0002 "I'm often asked about the line of demarcation that separates a partner's healthy sexual activity from pathological addiction," says sexologist and coach David Weigant. “Is a future possible with such a partner?” Here are the most common questions and expert answers.
There can be many red flags. The most obvious ones are:
-
He regularly watches porn, and by himself, and this does not turn into a form of sexual foreplay with a partner.
-
He masturbates even after having sex.
-
He may react unexpectedly aggressively to your refusal to have sex, which is not in line with his usual demeanor (even if he apologizes for it later).
“This question cannot be answered unequivocally, it all depends on the individual characteristics of the person,” says David Weigant. - One will look for new partners and sexual relations are possible for him with almost anyone who reciprocates. Physical attractiveness may not be of decisive importance. The other, on the contrary, is inclined to be faithful, but on the condition that a permanent partner is ready to satisfy his sexual appetite.
Still, most addicts are unable to resist the morbid passion for continuous sexual release, and long-term stable relationships are possible only if a person turns to professional help. "The main problem you're going to run into is a lack of trust," says Weigant. “Very soon you will begin to suspect him of treason.”
“The answer lies in your love relationship with him,” the expert believes. Does he care about pleasing you first, or is his own satisfaction the priority? As a rule, sex addicts strive for the fastest discharge, they ignore the foreplay that a woman needs.
After that, they do not need much time to recover, and they are ready to continue the sexual intercourse according to the same scenario: reaching their own orgasm as quickly as possible. A partner with a high sexual temperament who loves you will first of all make sure that you enjoy this meeting.
If you start having sex against your will, out of fear of loneliness, he can blackmail you with it. It is important to talk honestly about the sexual scenario, the frequency of possible contacts, and if your needs are very different, and the partner insists on his desires, consider whether you need a person with whom you will not feel comfortable.
Sex addicts often want sex in “porn-like” scenarios. At the same time, they do not show their partner an emotional connection either before or after, and all unusual bed scenarios are designed to satisfy only their sexual desires. This naturally leaves the feeling that you are being used.
Always remember that you can't fix it. Your partner needs professional help first and foremost. “The best thing you can do is to convince him to see a therapist as soon as possible, preferably one who specializes in this addiction profile,” says Weigant. “At the same time, it is important that the partner understands that he has a difficult and long work ahead of him and he wants to change not only for you, but first of all for himself.”
Addiction does not leave a person instantly, but with desire, patience and your support, he can learn to control his impulses, transform them into something healthier both for himself and for your relationship.
Game for two "Sex like in a movie"
We hope that sex addiction is not about you and your partner. However, if you want to diversify your sex life, we recommend that you turn to ready-made role-playing games. Imagine yourself as the heroes of the erotic scenes of your favorite films. New experiences and experiences are guaranteed!
Advertising.
-