Characteristics of serial cheaters
25 Signs of a Serial Cheater
In This Article
Serial cheaters can sometimes be hard to avoid. In the beginning stages of a relationship, they may be charming and attentive, but as time goes on, they begin to reveal their serial cheater traits.
Sometimes, the signs of a serial cheater can be subtle and difficult to recognize. If you want to avoid the pain of being stuck with an unfaithful partner, it is helpful to know red flags to look out for in our relationship.
Here, learn the signs and characteristics of serial cheaters so you can keep yourself safe from heartbreak.
Serial cheater meaning: What does it mean to be a serial cheater?
So, what is a serial cheater? Everyone makes mistakes, and some people may stray in their relationships, regret the behavior, and commit to change.
Serial cheaters, on the other hand, don’t even try to avoid cheating. They seek out opportunities to cheat.
One of the core serial cheater traits is a lack of remorse over cheating. Serial cheaters don’t feel any guilt or shame over their behavior because they see nothing wrong with cheating.
They are repeat cheaters because they view straying in relationships as being acceptable.
A serial cheater may be involved in a committed relationship.
However, they will still be active on dating websites, or they will see no problem with going out without their significant other and finding opportunities to hook up.
As far as they are concerned, they have no obligation to be loyal to their partners.
25 Signs of a serial cheater
If you’re wondering if maybe you’re beginning to fall victim to a serial cheater, there are red flags you can look for to protect yourself from further damage.
Below, consider 25 signs of a serial cheater, so you know when it’s time to get out before you’re in too deep:1. They talk about repeated infidelity in past relationships
One of the top signs of a serial cheater is someone who has cheated repeatedly in the past. They may mention having cheated in former relationships, but they promise they have changed.
The fact that they’re willing to admit that they’ve cheated several times in the past indicates that they probably don’t feel remorse since they kept repeating the behavior.
Related Reading: When Your Spouse Is A Serial Cheater- Dealing With Repeated Infidelity In Marriage2. The serial cheater speaks negatively about all of their former partners
A serial cheater does not want to feel guilty about what they have done to their partners or take accountability for behavior. So, suppose they have cheated multiple times in the past.
In that case, they will speak about all of their past partners being “crazy” or “doing them wrong” instead of seeing that they were to blame for the relationship’s failure because of their infidelity.3. The secrecy with the phone will become common
One of the telltale signs of a serial cheating husband or wife is that they will keep their phone out of sight, or perhaps face down, when around you.
This is because they don’t want a phone call or text message to pop up from someone they’re seeing on the side.
They may also spend a significant amount of time taking phone calls in private, or you may notice that they step out of the room when the phone rings.
Related Reading: How Cell Phone Is Destroying Your Marriage And Relationships4. They act as if nothing is ever their fault
Remember, serial cheaters cannot accept responsibility for their bad behavior, so they blame everyone else instead of taking accountability when they are wrong.
They are constantly looking for fault in others, and when they are confronted with wrongdoing or caught cheating, they may attempt to blame the partner or change the topic of conversation to discuss something their partner has done wrong.
Related Reading: How To Stop The Blame Game In Your Relationship5. Manipulation is common
Serial cheaters need to get away with their behavior, so they have to manipulate their partners into believing they will change.
This means they may promise to change and buy gifts to get their partners to stick around. Serial cheaters are also likely to have excuses or to make up stories to cover their tracks.
They may even pretend to cry if you catch them in the act of cheating. This is all part of their manipulation.
Related Reading: How To Recognize And Handle Manipulation In Relationships6. They show fear of commitment
If your partner still has dating apps installed on their phone or is afraid to claim you as their significant other publicly, this demonstrates a fear of commitment, which is one of the signs of a serial cheater.
Commitment is problematic for serial cheaters because they don’t want to settle down in a relationship and potentially miss out on opportunities to hook up with new people.
Also Try: Fear Of Commitment Quiz7. They are fixated on their appearance
Another red flag among the signs of a serial cheater is fixated upon their physical appearance.
The serial cheater may spend hours in front of the mirror grooming themselves, and they will seek out compliments from others, whether it is strangers at the bar or social media friends who like and comment on seductive photos.
This may be especially common for a woman serial cheater, who may thrive off of social media attention, frequently post sexy photos, and then cross into inappropriate territory with men who give her attention online.
This isn’t to say that men don’t engage in the same behavior, but we associate this trait with women.8. Overly flirty behavior cannot be denied
If you notice that your partner is overly flirty, to the point that it is embarrassing or obnoxious, you likely have a serial cheater on your hands.
The serial cheater will have no problem with buying a drink for someone else while the two of you are out together and will not hold back about telling someone how amazing they look in their outfit.
If you call them out on the flirty behavior, they will attempt to play it off as being harmless.
Related Reading: Flirting For Fun Vs Flirting With Intent9. They are incredibly selfish and self-absorbed
Research shows that people who have a high degree of narcissism are more likely to report that they would be likely to be unfaithful toward a partner.
Remember that serial cheaters feel no remorse, and one of the reasons for this is that they are only concerned about their desires and impulses. This goes hand-in-hand with narcissism.
This video on therapy sessions with a narcissist will help you get through a person who exhibits narcissism around you:
Longtime friends likely know your significant other better than you do, especially if the relationship is relatively new.
Friends may spill the beans that their buddy is cheating, or you may notice that your partner doesn’t want you to be around their friends.
This is because they are afraid friends may mention the cheating behavior to you.11. You notice sideways glances from other people when you’re in public with your partner
It can be challenging for serial cheaters to keep up with their lies or their various romantic pursuits, so you may notice that when you’re in public as a couple, people look at the two of you strangely.
Maybe it’s because they know your significant other is cheating, or they have recently seen your partner out with someone else.
They may wonder why your serial cheater is out with you today when just last week, they were seeing someone else.
Related Reading: 15 Most Common Causes Of Infidelity In Relationships12. You get bad gut feelings
If you’re someone with a high degree of anxiety, a gut feeling may not mean anything, but often, when people find themselves with a serial cheater, they get a gut feeling that something isn’t quite right.
You are likely dealing with a serial cheater if you have a terrible feeling, combined with some of the other signs mentioned here.
Related Reading: How Therapy Helps When You Are Married to a Serial Cheater13. They have a habit of lying
Serial cheaters have to get comfortable with lying to cover up their infidelity, which means dishonesty can become a habit.
If you frequently catch them lying, there is a chance they are also lying about being loyal to the relationship.
Related Reading: 10 Signs That Indicate That Your Partner Is a Pathological Liar14. They are incredibly charismatic
Think about the beginning stages of your relationship with your significant other. Did they come across as incredibly charming?
If so, this could be one of the signs of a serial cheater. These folks have to be incredibly charismatic to lure in new targets.
Sometimes, they are so charming that they’re able to win over a new sexual partner, even if that person knows the serial cheater is in a relationship with someone else.15. They have a long relationship history, but none of their relationships seem to last very long
Serial cheaters tend to have a long list of past partners because they either get bored and end a relationship to seek out their subsequent love interest or get caught cheating and have to move on.
Serial cheaters are also fearful of commitment so that they may be involved in a series of casual, short-term relationships.16. It seems as if they are constantly busy
Maintaining multiple relationships, even if some of them are casual, is hard work.
On top of going to work and taking care of other responsibilities, the serial cheater has to find time to sneak away from the primary relationship or juggle their time between multiple partners, who may not know that others exist.
This can lead the serial cheater to appear as if they never have time for you.
They may even make excuses about working overtime, traveling out of town to see family, or being consumed with some personal crisis, when in reality, they are out entertaining someone else.17. They are hot and cold
One moment they’re showering you with attention, and the next, they are ignoring your messages for hours on end.
This means that the serial cheater is probably talking with someone else at times and returning to give you attention when it suits them.
This can become incredibly frustrating for you because it seems like the relationship is perfect one minute, but you are being ignored the next minute.18. They accuse you of cheating
Deep down, serial cheaters know just how untrustworthy they are, so if they constantly accuse you of cheating, this is a pretty common sign of a serial cheater.
They may think that everyone else is behaving exactly like they are.
Related Reading: What to Do When You’re Being Accused of Cheating When Your Not19. They talk about cheating as if it’s not wrong
This is one of the obvious signs of a serial cheater. If you catch them cheating, they are likely to tell you that it isn’t a big deal, or they may blame you, making you the one in the wrong instead of them.
Someone who makes a one-time mistake with cheating will show remorse and admit to being wrong, but serial cheaters see no wrong in their behavior.20. They quickly grow bored
Also among the signs of a serial cheater is the tendency to get bored and seek new thrills.
Suppose your partner is an adrenaline junky, always seeking out risky new experiences.
In that case, they may also get bored with the relationship and feel no qualms about relieving their boredom by stepping outside the relationship.
Not all thrill-seekers are serial cheaters, but the risk is certainly there.21. It seems as if they are never content
Serial cheaters tend to struggle with commitment, and it’s because they always want the best of everything.
They don’t want to settle down in a relationship and miss out on someone better, more prosperous, or more attractive.
Along the same lines, a serial cheater is never satisfied with their car, job, or appearance. They are always looking for an upgrade, which unfortunately transitions over to the serial cheater’s relationships.22. They’re incapable of being alone
Deep down, serial cheaters are insecure about themselves, and they seek out multiple hookups to boost their self-esteem. This means they also struggle to function on their own.
A serial cheater will jump from one relationship to the next because they need to be surrounded by other people to feel validated.23. There is an inability to change
People often wonder, “Do serial cheaters ever stop cheating?” The answer is that they often don’t unless they recognize their behavior as problematic and make a legitimate effort to stop cheating by seeking professional help.
Serial cheating often has roots in narcissism or another personality disorder, so treatment is often necessary to change the behavior.
Research has found that people who cheat in one relationship are three times more likely to cheat in the next relationship, suggesting that it is doubtful that a serial cheater will change.
Related Reading: 10 Narcissist Cheating Signs & How to Confront Them24. They demonstrate a noticeable lack of remorse
Do serial cheaters feel remorse? The answer is no. If they did feel bad for their behavior, they would stop cheating because they wouldn’t be able to live with the constant guilt and shame surrounding their repeated infidelity.
If your partner shows no remorse after being caught cheating or has no remorse when discussing cheating in past relationships, this is one of the main signs of a serial cheater.25. They come across as very organized
Serial cheaters become skilled at making up stories to cover their disloyal behavior, so they can seem quite organized.
If you question where they have been or where they are going, they will be able to develop a detailed story because they have spent time getting themselves organized to avoid being caught.
How To Recognize a Serial Cheater
If you notice the 25 signs of a serial cheater, these are pretty good indicators that you are dealing with someone who cannot be trusted to be loyal. To sum it up, you can recognize a serial cheater through some of the following serial cheater signs:
- They speak poorly of all of their past partners and may even admit to cheating on them, but they always blame their partner.
- They come across as incredibly charming at the beginning of the relationship. Still, when you catch them in a lie, which you will, they blame you, act as if it’s not a big deal, or even engage in manipulative behavior like crying or making excuses.
- They are incredibly self-centered, flirty, and focused on their appearance.
- You catch them on dating apps, or they hide their phone from you so that you cannot catch them engaging in disloyal behavior.
- They talk about cheating in past relationships, or they talk about numerous past partners, none of whom ever worked out for them.
- They demonstrate a fear of commitment, either by refusing to acknowledge you as their partner in public or by continuing to chat with others via social media or dating apps.
Traits of Serial Cheaters
There are several traits that characterize your typical serial cheater. One of the key, serial cheater traits is a high degree of narcissism, which is characterized by the following traits:
- Presenting as excessively self-important
- Fixation on success, power, and beauty
- Feeling superior to others
- Requiring constant admiration
- Sense of entitlement
- Manipulative behavior
- Lack of concern for others
Beyond the traits above, remember that a serial cheater will often come across as very charismatic because they need to have the skills to lure in new love interests.
Given their lack of remorse, they are also likely to present as unempathetic and, at times, rather cruel.
At their best, the serial killer may even appear outgoing and adventurous, but this is often because of their desire to attract other people, even if they are in a committed relationship.
Can a serial cheater learn to be loyal?
Given the patterns and personality traits involved in serial cheating, it is not often that a serial cheater becomes faithful. Serial cheaters engage in repeat cheating and feel no remorse, so they have no internal motivation to change. In addition, their manipulative ways and charming personality allow them to get away with serial cheating.
Change might be possible if a serial cheater takes accountability for their harmful behavior and demonstrates a desire to learn to be faithful. Still, it will be difficult and require professional intervention.Conclusion
Relationships with a serial cheater often lead to heartbreak, but you can learn to recognize the signs of a serial cheater to get out of the relationship and find someone who will meet your needs and be loyal to you.
Hanging around waiting for a serial cheater to change isn’t likely to end well, so you will probably have to cut your losses and walk away once you notice the signs above.
20 Signs of a Serial Cheater & How to Spot ThemSkip to content
Published: August 29, 2022 Updated: November 10, 2022
Published: 08/29/2022 Updated: 11/10/2022
Serial cheaters consistently cheat on their partners, even when they’re in committed, monogamous relationships. They often struggle with poor impulse control and a lack of personal accountability. Some serial cheaters experience guilt over their actions, but others show little or no remorse. Most of the time, it is difficult for them to change their cheating habits, but with the right steps and intentions, it is possible.
What Is a Serial Cheater?
Although there isn’t a distinct psychological definition for serial cheating, it usually refers to a chronic pattern of relationship infidelity. Research shows that cheating can indeed repeat itself over the lifespan. In fact, people who cheat on a previous partner are three times more likely to cheat on their next partner.1
While statistics on infidelity can be vague and inconsistent, likely because people may underreport, research shows that upwards of 20% of men and 13% of women have cheated on their spouses. Interestingly, infidelity peaks during middle and late age (men in their 70s and women in their 60s).2 Some people have heard the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” – in most cases, people are referring to serial or chronic cheating.
What should you do about the serial cheater? Therapy can help you gain clarity over your decisions. BetterHelp has over 20,000 licensed therapists who provide convenient and affordable online therapy. BetterHelp starts at $60 per week. Complete a brief questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.
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Serial cheaters often act in predictable ways. However, these ways may not seem outwardly obvious at first. Moreover, even if you feel suspicious, you may want to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. That said, it’s important to know the common signs; while they don’t guarantee unfaithfulness, they may indicate deeper relationship problems.
Here are 20 common signs of a repeat cheater:
1. They Have a History of Cheating
Infidelity can become a persistent pattern and may be the most obvious indicator of serial cheating. People are 2-3x more likely to cheat in relationships if they have cheated on their partners in the past.3 While the rationale for this phenomenon isn’t entirely understood, it’s probable that, instead of learning from past mistakes, cheaters might justify their behavior and find that it’s easy to duplicate again. Moreover, they may not have identified the reason for their infidelity, making it difficult to avoid repeating that behavior in future relationships.
2. They Have a Fear of Commitment
Commitment issues may come from trauma or a history of unhealthy relationships. These issues can trigger anxiety and avoidance, thereby leading some people to self-sabotage in their monogamous relationship. Their choice to cheat offers an escape plan, whether they are conscious of it or not. In some cases, especially for those who exhibit avoidance behaviors, people won’t even attempt to conceal their actions because they subconsciously hope their partner will find out and end things for them.
3. They Badmouth Former Partners
Serial cheaters are often cynical when it comes to previous relationships. They may blame former partners for being difficult or even “being crazy.” Instead of acknowledging their wrongdoings, they will justify that someone else’s actions drove them to behave that way. This, in a sense, can absolve them of residual guilt. It can also proactively paint their former partners as unreliable or untrustworthy, however, which can make it more difficult to recognize a history of infidelity.
4. They Become Very Secretive With Technology
Serial cheaters often go to great lengths to safeguard their privacy. They may resist or outright refuse to give their partner access to their phone or computer.
Some things they may do include:
- Cover their phone when they’re around you
- Step out of the room to take phone calls
- Become defensive or anxious if you ask to use any of their devices
- Use passcodes or other control settings to keep their partner
5. They Keep Promising You They’ve Changed
A serial cheater may confess their past history of cheating. But these disclosures are often coupled with grandiose explanations of how they’ve changed and intend to do better. Most of the time, they keep blaming external factors (like the other person) to excuse their behavior. Even if you feel skeptical, they insist that history will not repeat itself, and may provide a believable reason or excuse for you to believe them.
6. They Accuse You of Cheating
Serial cheaters may use projection to accuse you of cheating. A cheater rarely wants to admit their impulses or actions. And so, in the form of distraction, they will accuse their partners of engaging in unfaithful behavior.
7. They Shower You With Gifts
Some serial cheaters feel guilty about their actions. Most times, cheating partners don’t want to hurt you. To compensate for this uncomfortable feeling, they might lavish you with expensive items or unexpected surprises. Sometimes, these come paired with an apology (if they’ve been caught in the act). Other times, they come randomly, which can further raise your suspicions.
8. They Don’t Talk About the Future With You
Even if they present as committed, many serial cheaters can’t envision a long-term future with their partners. They avoid conversations about “taking the next step,” whether the next step is marriage, children, or moving in together. Sometimes, they will give excuses to try to rationalize their avoidance or procrastination.
9. They Are Preoccupied With Their Appearance
Serial cheaters may hyperfocus on their appearance if they’re looking to attract a new partner. You might notice this in subtle ways: they may spend more time working out, change their hair, or buy flattering new clothes. They might also start dressing significantly differently when they go out, which is often a telltale sign that they may be meeting up with someone else.
10. They Flirt Often
Serial cheaters may openly flirt with others in front of their partners. These flirty behaviors are most apparent in their nonverbal cues. For example, along with complimenting people frequently, they may also engage in physical touch, laugh often, and gently tease others.4 If confronted, they often deny their behavior and insist they’re just being friendly. While couples have different boundaries around what is considered appropriate flirting, if you express discomfort or have a conversation about how this makes you feel and your partner continues to flirt with others, it shows that they prioritize their own fulfillment and pleasure above your boundaries.
11.Your Friends & Family Raise Concerns
If your loved ones know you best, they may express concern about your partner with you. They may pick up on flirty or secretive behavior and tell you how they feel about it. Of course, it’s normal to dismiss them as being paranoid, particularly if you really care about your partner. But sometimes, friends and family detect the blindspots within interpersonal relationships.
12. They Cheated On You Before
Unfortunately, if your partner has cheated on you before, they are likely to repeat the behavior. This is true even if they insist it was a one-off incident or that they will never do it again. While people can change, your partner must take full accountability for what happened, identify why they cheated, and take the necessary steps to address the cause and rectify their behavior.
13. You Keep Feeling Anxious
In healthy relationships, partners mutually trust one another. Even if you don’t have definitive proof, your intuition may pick up on suspicious behavior and may lead to you feeling anxious about your relationship. This doesn’t guarantee your partner is cheating, but if you feel like you can’t relax or feel safe in your relationship, it’s worth exploring the rationale.
14. An Ex Has Warned You
Sometimes, ex-partners will come forward and warn others about cheating behavior. Of course, you (and especially your partner) may dismiss their warnings as them being jealous or vindictive. As previously mentioned, your partner may have also made their exes seem untrustworthy. And while that may be true, it’s still important to consider what they have to say. They may be trying to prevent you from future heartbreak.
15. You’ve Caught Them Lying Before
Cheating entails a significant level of deceit, but that degree of lying doesn’t usually develop overnight. Instead, many cheaters engage in consistent white lies or manipulation to maintain their self-image. So, if you’ve caught them lying about other things before, there’s a possible chance you need to find out if your partner is lying about cheating.
16. They Present as Overly Charming
Did your partner come across as incredibly charismatic and enticing when you first met? Did you feel like you fell in love extremely quickly? If so, you may be with a serial cheater. Many of them use charming manipulatio tactics to draw your attention. They typically use those same tactics to attract partners outside of the relationship as well. If they’re having an affair, it is highly probable that they employ this–and all other tactics–on them as well.
17. They Bail on You at the Last Minute
Serial cheaters often juggle multiple relationships at the same time. They constantly wager their time to determine the best way to meet their needs. As a result, they often present as inconsistent and unreliable. Even if you have committed to certain plans, they have no problem canceling them if a better opportunity presents itself.
18. They Downplay Cheating
Serial cheaters may downplay the effects of cheating to seemingly normalize it within the context of their relationships. For example, they might make offhanded comments like, nobody really stays faithful forever, or, Marriage is a scam. With this strategy, they’re likely hoping that you will agree with them, further reinforcing their actions.
19. They Suddenly Ask for an Open Relationship
Open relationships can be healthy and advantageous for many couples. But if your partner spontaneously brings up the idea, you may need to explore it further–especially if they show other signs of suspicious behavior. They may be looking to excuse current infidelity or find a legitimate reason to be unfaithful to you. This is especially true if you feel pressured into accepting these new parameters, which should never be the case when exploring a relationship dynamic.
20. They’re Rarely Single, But Their Relationships Seem Superficial
Serial cheaters often crave comfort and attachment from others. Because they often feel insecure about themselves, they rely on others to enhance their self-esteem. As a result, they may hop from one relationship to the next. But, because they can’t fully lean into real commitment and trust, their relationships lack depth or may have a sense of depth that is manipulated by the cheater.
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7 Serial Cheater Traits
Certain personality factors often coincide with serial cheating, such as narcissism, sociopathy, and problems with impulse control. These variables tend to be fixed and pervasive across the lifespan. That means they don’t usually just show up in relationships. For example, someone who cheats on their partner may also act unethically in society, take dangerous or inappropriate shortcuts at work, and otherwise justify harmful behavior.
- Narcissism: Someone with narcissistic personality disorder displays high levels of arrogance and self-importance. They may cheat on their partners to feel valued and special, or whenever they feel neglected or unimportant.
- Vanity: Vanity may play a role in serial cheating. Cheaters may jump from person to person to gain admiration for their looks or achievements.
- Sociopathy: Someone with sociopathic tendencies often lies and doesn’t have empathy towards others. Therefore, they may feel bored in relationships and cheat on their partners without feeling remorse
- Low self-esteem: Low self-esteem can cause people to cheat. They may turn elsewhere for validation if they don’t experience enough of it in their current relationship.
- Severe trauma: Trauma is a precursor for unhealthy behaviors, like cheating. Someone with a history of trauma may also struggle with attachment in relationships.
- Flaky/inconsistent behavior: If someone is known for constantly moving on from one interest to the next or is flaky in other parts of life, they may be more prone to cheating in relationships.
- Poor impulse control: Cheating often coincides with poor impulse control and addictive tendencies. Serial cheaters may have issues with other similar struggles, such as compulsive gambling or substance use.
Can Serial Cheaters Change?
Serial cheaters can try changing their behaviors in a number of ways, including:
Figuring Out Why They Cheat
Insight is the first step towards sustainable change. It’s helpful to know why you do something if you want to change it. Someone understanding why they cheat offers a more precise roadmap for growth and healing. They can learn more about their motives through self-exploration or by working with a mental health professional.
Seeking Structured Support
Therapy, support groups, and 12-step meetings can all help serial cheaters change their ways. These resources provide non-judgmental support and guidance. Likewise, they offer a sense of accountability that can help people stay on track. Because support looks different for everyone, finding the best resources for your situation may require some trial-and-error.
Commit to Following Firm Boundaries
Boundaries maintain trust and integrity within romantic relationships. If serial cheaters want to change, they must be willing to adhere to such limits. A boundary, for instance, could be allowing your partner to check your phone whenever they ask. Another boundary might be ending all communication with previous partners if it makes your partner uncomfortable.
How Does Serial Cheating Affect You?
Serial cheating often affects everyone in profound ways. Serial cheaters may sometimes be using defense mechanisms to rationalize their behavior, which is common in people with addictive behaviors, and may struggle with maintaining relationships and feelings of guilt without fully realizing why. For those who are cheated on, it can take a significant toll on your self-esteem and confidence. It may exacerbate preexisting mental health symptoms, and it can certainly increase interpersonal conflict within the relationship.
In addition, partners may also struggle with related symptoms of:
- Infidelity PTSD
- Relationship PTSD
- Relationship Anxiety
Serial Cheaters & Marriage
If you’re married to a serial cheater, you may feel conflicted about what to do next. Unlike other relationships, it’s logistically harder to leave a marriage. This is especially true if you have children. The prospect of divorce and navigating that associated change may feel overwhelming. But if you feel consistently resentful or disrespected, it may be time to evaluate your options.
When to Choose Couples Counseling vs. Walking Away
In some cases, couples decide to try to resolve their issues in couples counseling. While serial cheating is a complex issue, marriage and couples counseling may help after infidelity. Furthermore, even if the couple decides to part ways, figuring things out through discernment or divorce counseling can help keep things amicable and civil.
Individual therapy can also help you cope. Find a therapist who specializes in relationship issues and, if applicable, trauma-informed therapy. They can support you in processing your feelings, and they can also offer practical coping tools for your specific situation. You can use an online therapist directory to get started.
Final Thoughts on Chronic Cheaters
Serial cheaters often hurt many people with their actions. These effects can be particularly damaging to committed partners. If you’re questioning your partner’s loyalty, it’s important to consider whether they exhibit any of the serial cheating signs and symptoms. Your partner can change, but it’s crucial that you take care of yourself during this time. Consider seeking therapy if you’re struggling with individual or relationship issues following infidelity.
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For Further Reading
- Recovery Library Preview: Affair Recovery
- Practical, Science-Based Steps to Heal from an Affair: The Gottman Institute
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- Surviving a Relationship Break-Up: Top 20 Strategies
Choosing Therapy strives to provide our readers with mental health content that is accurate and actionable. We have high standards for what can be cited within our articles. Acceptable sources include government agencies, universities and colleges, scholarly journals, industry and professional associations, and other high-integrity sources of mental health journalism. Learn more by reviewing our full editorial policy.
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships (2017, August). National Library of Medicine. Retrieved from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5709195/.
Who Cheats More? The Demographics of Infidelity in America (2018, January). Institute for Family Studies. Retrieved from: https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america.
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? DU Study Examines Serial Infidelity (2018, September). University of Denver. Retrieved from: https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study-examines-serial-infidelity.
RESEARCH DEFINES MORE BEHAVIORS THAT REVEAL ROMANTIC ATTRACTION (2015, February). The University of Kansas. Retrieved from: https://news.ku.edu/2015/02/12/just-time-valentines-day-research-defines-more-behaviors-reveal-romantic-attraction.
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Heightened sense of duty | Who are they talking about
Any police officer will be sincerely surprised if a journalist starts an interview with questions about the identity of the respondent, even if the article is being prepared for a professional holiday. First, talk about the cause you serve, and only then about yourself. Without violating the unspoken rule, in the office of the head of the Leninsky police department, police lieutenant colonel Nikolai Fastovtsov, I ask you to name the figures that reflect the crime situation in the area.
- Compared with the figures for ten months of last year, the total number of crimes remained at the same level: just over two thousand cases, of which over a thousand were solved. Efficiency was almost 55 percent. The number of premeditated murders decreased by a quarter, and the facts of causing grievous bodily harm decreased by a third. We record fewer robberies, more than 70 percent fewer cases of robbery, theft from garden associations, the car theft rates have fallen by a third. For ten months, more than 500 crimes have been committed on the streets of the district, half of them have been solved. The high efficiency is explained by the well-coordinated, operational work of patrol units and employees of the criminal investigation department.
On the other hand, we record more thefts from shopping centers and chain stores. Thieves who commit repeated petty theft are criminally liable. The number of facts of registered fraud of a general criminal nature has increased. Messages are received by the police department almost daily, and telephone fraud is the main crime. Victims testify that they have heard of such cases, but scammers still convince citizens to give secret bank card data. Often they hack into personal pages of social networks and on behalf of friends they ask to transfer money. Theft from bank cards is the most common type of theft of funds. It is not always possible to solve crimes in "hot pursuit", because the victims do not immediately go to the police.
- Which of the scammers managed to be sent to the bunk?
- For carrying out investigative actions, one criminal was brought from places of detention, from Tyumen. Serial fraud is committed, as a rule, by prisoners. This year, a citizen was prosecuted for promising to supply expensive items of famous brands. Customers did not wait for money or branded items. The defendant referred to the bad faith of the suppliers.
Finding out the genealogy of the police lieutenant colonel, I learned that there were no law enforcement officers in the Fastovtsov family. Relatives belonged to the environment of the scientific and technical intelligentsia, and, remarkably, the family passes names and patronymics to the heirs. The grandfather of the lieutenant colonel, his full namesake, served as chief mechanic at one of the enterprises of the city, his father Sergey Nikolayevich worked as the head of the design and technology center of a subsidiary of the plant. The future law enforcement officer at first also chose a technical path: he graduated from Moscow State Technical University with a red diploma in the specialty "road transport service".
The family instilled in him a sense of justice: in the kindergarten he defended the weak, during his school years, together with his friends, he put fighters in their place. The desire to help people has become his main life principle.
Having received a diploma, Nikolai Fastovtsov, without hesitation, came to the personnel department of the Magnitogorsk Internal Affairs Directorate and was admitted to the criminal investigation department of Ordzhonikidzevsky in those years of the district police department. The young officer was sent to the task force to uncover robberies. Over the years of service, he comprehended the intricacies of operational-search work, reinforcing practice with theory - he graduated from a law school. By the way, November 2019Lieutenant Colonel Fastovtsov has a jubilee year: 15 years in law enforcement agencies.
- In 2005, the era of "mink hats" was replaced by cell phones. The lion's share of robberies was associated with communications. Phones were taken away from students, schoolchildren, selling in countless commission shops, trays. Cell phones are being stolen even now, but compared to previous years, this is a trifle. In those years, serial robbers were detained. The kidnappers turned out to be minors from Magnitogorsk. Seven episodes of criminal activity were proved. The main qualifying sign was the accusation of accomplices of robbery by a group of persons by prior conspiracy.
- Nikolai Sergeevich, you worked in the Ordzhonikidzevsky district, you were the head of the criminal investigation department in Pravoberezhny, since last year you have been the head of the Leninsky police department, can you determine the specifics of law enforcement activities in the district?
- Geographical extent, the border with Bashkiria and more than a dozen garden associations, each of which has three to four thousand houses - a whole city. Prolonged absence of owners provokes crimes. Recently, under the supervision of the deputy head of the police department "Leninsky", the head of the criminal investigation department, police lieutenant colonel Vladimir Alexandrovich Golovin, a serial "garden" thief was detained. He stole everything from teapots to groceries. Then he began to smoke equipment, pulling out the cords. He turned out to be a homeless man, a native of Magnitogorsk.
There is an industrial zone in the area, the railroad provides a wave of crimes. Temporary deficit is an indispensable companion of law enforcement work, and the more it is, the higher the position.
- My working day starts early in the morning from the duty station, then preparing for a report, reporting to the department, putting various crimes under control. Heads of departments gather in the head's office, the tactics of searching and solving the crime are determined. All the threads, facts, versions "converge" in the office of the chief, who controls the progress of the work.
But, of course, the case is not complete with a single crime. Today, November 3, according to the report, a robbery "passed". A decent-looking man picked up a full bag of groceries in the store and, without paying, ran away. We have video footage. Outside outfits will now come out, the commander will receive the task of finding a person. All employees will watch the video, maybe they will recognize the thief.
A few hours later it became known that the citizen had been identified, the crime had been solved. Every day, the duty unit registers up to 70 different messages and statements from citizens: these are serious crimes, petty theft, and violation of silence.
- Hasn't the desire to help people faded after 15 years of fighting evil?
- On the contrary, it has become stronger! Often I catch myself thinking that I and my colleagues go to the criminal investigation department in my spare time to give practical advice, to help in solving crimes. Pulls on search work.
With such a high workload, she considered it indecent to ask about a hobby, however, she asked how the lieutenant colonel copes with the hard pace of work?
- In my student years I went skiing, now I enjoy spending time on the mountain slopes of Bannoy and Abzakov, this winter I dream of the same.
At the end of the conversation, Nikolai Sergeevich wished his colleagues health, the preservation of glorious traditions, the experience gained by service veterans, and a strong family.
another pseudo-broker from serial scammers
Runet continues to be attacked by a gang of swindlers who launch new brokers almost every month and abandon completed projects within six months. Fortunately, there are enough signs of a scam on the FK-Ltd website and it is made according to the same template as their other projects. Therefore, it is not difficult to identify scammers, and it is convenient to train your project analysis skills using their example.
That there is something wrong with this broker is obvious from looking at the registration and licensing details. The legal address is Krogh Plads 9 A, st. 8907 Aalborg. For some reason, the country was not bashfully indicated, but Google suggests that it is:
- the address is deliberately distorted and does not exist in this form in the Danish city of Aalborg.
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Information about brokerage licenses is no less false. Each financial regulator operates within the jurisdiction of its country. When registering in Denmark, a company must obtain permission for financial activities from the local state regulator. But instead, the footer of the site fc-ltd.com contains information about three licenses from other states, entirely offshore:
- of the Republic of Cyprus,
- of Belize,
- of Mauritius.
This is an impossible situation: to obtain a license, you need to open a full-fledged representative office, register a legal entity in these countries. But instead of addresses of offices in these states, scammers slip coordinates in Denmark, and not fake ones. The scammers from FK-Ltd did not post the license forms, but they wrote down the document numbers. You can check them on the website of each regulator and make sure that they did not issue such a document. The fact that the license number from the Cypriot regulator 154/23 is fake can be seen even without referring to the CySEC website. The fact is that the second part of the number of this state agency indicates the year the license was issued. 2023 has not yet arrived, and at 1923 regulator has not yet been created, so the number 154/23 was simply invented by swindlers.
Exactly the same set of three offshore licenses is found in dubious brokers Timue, KY Company, MRG-SS, Zoxir. They have a lot in common with FC-Ltd, giving out the relationship of projects. All have three real client accounts in the absence of a demo account, the same trader's calculator, identical client documents hidden at the end of the registration form. Each clone praises the unique trading platform of their own design: very convenient and functional, and at the same time highly classified. The pseudo-broker does not indicate its technical characteristics, name, information about the developers, does not share the software, does not allow you to get acquainted with it in demo mode. Such secrecy indicates that serial scammers use a special platform to simulate trading on all their clones. Visually, it resembles classic terminals, but at the same time it is under the complete control of scammers with all the ensuing consequences.
FC-Ltd Divorce Scheme
The scammers described in detail how they are going to deceive people in two of their documents:
- in the user agreement,
- in the refund policy.
When studying them, it becomes obvious that no one will return the deposited money, and any attempt to interact with the company can only lead to extortion, loss of money and account blocking: we will prove all this with screenshots. Why are scammers so outspoken? Probably, the team from the post-Soviet space is insuring itself in case of criminal prosecution: in which case the scammers will be able to show which document the victim automatically accepted by registering an account. After the registration form, the consent boxes with two documents of enslaving content are already ticked and the expectation that they will not be read.
In addition, it is very convenient for scam brokers to demonstrate to clients the clauses of the contract that make them powerless. The link to the document helps to give the divorce the appearance of a normal situation, which means prolonging the interaction of the victim with the broker and thereby increasing the revenue of scammers.
The FK-Ltd divorce scheme begins with an attempt to withdraw money from a scam. There is no single transparent procedure for withdrawing money. Clause 19.9.1. informs that the regulations will be brought strictly on an individual basis. The absence of withdrawal norms and individual rules mean the actual impossibility of withdrawing funds, and individuality indicates the flexibility of the scheme.
To begin with, the victim will be disapproved of the withdrawal under the pretext of additional verification. The right to request additional documents despite the previously passed verification is specified in the agreement and can be seen in the previous screenshot from it. The problem is that the checks can go on endlessly, and the requirements will certainly turn out to be impossible: nothing prevents fraudsters from requesting completely unprecedented documents and certificate forms in order to refuse to withdraw money and convince them that this is how it should be.
The divorce script from fc-ltd.com also involves extortion of money under any pretext. Clause 7.3. states that the client is obliged to pay the broker any costs and expenses on demand. Section 8.1. repeats once again about the need to pay commissions and costs. Section 8.4. It also establishes the need to pay some stamp expenses, the essence of which is not explained. In a word, the client always owes the broker, and he, as usual with scammers, is not responsible for anything and will change the terms of interaction whenever and however he wants, without notice.
Add to this your own trading platform, which is completely controlled by the administration of the fake broker, and the architecture of the deception becomes completely understandable.
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A domain name history check on whois-service shows that fc-ltd.com was registered in 2018. But this does not indicate the broker's three years of experience, but the fact that the domain was rented out to everyone. Judging by the global updates that were made on the site in April 2021, it was during this period that scammers rented a domain for the minimum possible period of one year: until the end of March 2022. There is no need to expect a lease extension, all projects from this team live up to six months.
Real reviews of FC-Ltd are few due to the small experience of the project, they appear only from April 2021. However, the first victims are already there, and their stories confirm the divorce pattern reconstructed in the previous chapter. We publish the most detailed review, the author of which also talks about coming to the scam. He took a survey about investments allegedly from Tinkoff Bank and left his data to get the result. The bank had nothing to do with the survey - it was fraudsters under the guise of a well-known brand who were collecting a client base for divorce. The victim was processed on an individual basis: first, they convinced him to increase the deposit for the sake of profit growth and demonstrated the result: “and then the deals started to be really good,” the victim believed. However, instead of actual trading, the scammers maintained an illusion on their pocket platform.