How to get past the hurt of infidelity

Getting Over the Hurt of an Affair

Therapy, self-compassion, and social connection can help you cope in the aftermath of infidelity.

If you or your partner has had an affair, it can have a lasting impact on both of you. You might feel a variety of emotions, including:

anger
hurt
helplessness
guilt
self-blame

The pain of cheating can be difficult to endure — but with patience and self-care, you can learn to cope with the pain and find peace after infidelity. You can equip yourself for this journey with:

self-compassion
social connection
therapy

Whether you’ve decided to stay with your partner or end the relationship, it is possible to heal from the pain of infidelity.

Although cheating can have a lasting effect on your mental health, it’s possible to heal after infidelity, says Babita Spinelli, a psychotherapist licensed in New York, New Jersey, and Florida. Spinelli offers couples coaching for partners recovering after infidelity.

“For some, the experience is similar to grief and individuals go through similar stages of grief,” Spinelli says. “The pain feels like a huge loss — the loss of the person you thought you knew and trusted or the loss of the version of the relationship you had.”

Feelings of grief are common, according to Bonnie Scott, a Texas therapist who specializes in relationships and communication.

“It’s going to be a bit cyclical. Sometimes [clients] will still feel angry or disappointed or sad, and to cycle through those emotions is totally [typical],” she says. “But with time, therapy, and support from friends, I do think most people come to a place of acceptance.”

Yes, many relationships survive infidelity. But it can be tricky. “Whether the relationship can survive depends on both individuals’ commitment to rebuilding the relationship,” says Spinelli. “Both individuals need to be committed to doing some painful and long-term work to heal.”

This painful, long-term work isn’t for everyone, says Scott. She explains that it requires faith: You need to put in a lot of work without a guarantee that it will save the relationship. However, she says, it is possible to heal your relationship after infidelity.

Regardless of whether you and your partner are staying together or not, it’s possible to heal after cheating. The key to coping with the pain of infidelity is taking care of yourself in several ways, including:

1. Pausing

In the immediate aftermath of infidelity, you might feel compelled to make decisions. Should you break up with your partner, or stick with them? Should you tell people what happened? Should you move? Should you make other steps to detach your heart and your life from your partner’s?

Although these decisions are entirely yours to make, you don’t have to make them immediately.

Spinelli advises folks to “give yourself permission to pause on decisions while you process the betrayal.” You’ll likely be overwhelmed by a roller coaster of emotions, so it might be wise to take your time.

Scott suggests finding a place to stay for a few days to clear your head if you live with your partner. This can give you the mental space you need to start processing your emotions.

From there, you can make a plan for the future, whether that includes working through the infidelity with your partner or separating.

2. Self-compassion

Scott and Spinelli both advise practicing self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and take care of your needs.

After infidelity, you might ramp up negative self-talk. This might look like blaming yourself for issues in the relationship.

You can challenge negative self-talk by asking yourself:

Is this thought objectively true?
Is there evidence to the contrary?
Am I helping the situation by wallowing in these thoughts?
Is there something constructive I can do to address the issue?

Self-compassion also includes being patient with yourself.

You can “remember that your emotions may come in waves and feel like a roller coaster of feelings,” Spinelli says. “It can take time to work through.”

3. Caring for your body and mind

While your focus might be on understanding and processing the betrayal, it’s important not to neglect your physical and mental health. Disregarding your basic needs can leave you feeling worse — which isn’t good for you, your partner, or your relationship.

Self-care can include:

eating enough
sleeping enough
staying hydrated
engaging in enjoyable exercise
journaling
maintaining social connections
spending time in nature

Your self-care plan can be loosely held, Spinelli says there’s no need to chastise yourself if you skip a meal or forego your evening walk for an early bedtime. “Pay attention to what you need,” she advises. “Take a moment and ask yourself, what do I need today?”

4. Speaking with others

Both Spinelli and Scott emphasize the importance of spending time with loved ones after infidelity.

Although being cheated on or being outed as the one who cheated might make you feel isolated, you’re not alone. Cheating is common.

Learn to ask for help from trusted friends and family. You might find that talking with them about what happened — venting productively can help you process your experience and feel better.

You might also want to ask loved ones for practical help, such as:

a place to stay for a night or two while you clear your head
help with moving your things, if you choose to move
a lift to therapy or couples counseling
watching your kids for a few hours while you decompress

Spending time with your loved ones can help you feel less isolated, whether it’s:

over a meal
during a hike
for a quick cup of coffee during your lunch break

5. Therapy

Therapy can help you heal after infidelity. “Don’t be ashamed to seek professional help,” Spinelli says. “Talking things through in a safe, objective space is important.”

Regardless of whether you decide to separate from your partner or not, individual counseling and couples therapy can be helpful. If you’ve decided to break up, couples counseling can help you separate peacefully.

If you’re staying together, couples counseling can help you both rebuild trust and move past shame.

“After infidelity, relationship counseling can be useful because it gives a safe and supportive space to explore some pretty intense emotions,” Scott explains. “A therapist can keep the conversation on topic and give feedback about emotions they’re hearing.”

Additionally, you might want to consider finding a therapist for one-on-one sessions to help you cope in the aftermath of cheating.

It’s absolutely possible to heal from infidelity. Although the pain and grief can be intense, it’s also possible to work on the relationship so that you and your partner are able to move on.

Resources

Getting Over the Hurt of an Affair

Therapy, self-compassion, and social connection can help you cope in the aftermath of infidelity.

If you or your partner has had an affair, it can have a lasting impact on both of you. You might feel a variety of emotions, including:

anger
hurt
helplessness
guilt
self-blame

The pain of cheating can be difficult to endure — but with patience and self-care, you can learn to cope with the pain and find peace after infidelity. You can equip yourself for this journey with:

self-compassion
social connection
therapy

Whether you’ve decided to stay with your partner or end the relationship, it is possible to heal from the pain of infidelity.

Feelings of grief are common, according to Bonnie Scott, a Texas therapist who specializes in relationships and communication.

1. Pausing

Although these decisions are entirely yours to make, you don’t have to make them immediately.

Scott suggests finding a place to stay for a few days to clear your head if you live with your partner. This can give you the mental space you need to start processing your emotions.

From there, you can make a plan for the future, whether that includes working through the infidelity with your partner or separating.

2. Self-compassion

Scott and Spinelli both advise practicing self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and take care of your needs.

After infidelity, you might ramp up negative self-talk. This might look like blaming yourself for issues in the relationship.

You can challenge negative self-talk by asking yourself:

Is this thought objectively true?
Is there evidence to the contrary?
Am I helping the situation by wallowing in these thoughts?

Is there something constructive I can do to address the issue?

Self-compassion also includes being patient with yourself.

You can “remember that your emotions may come in waves and feel like a roller coaster of feelings,” Spinelli says. “It can take time to work through.”

3. Caring for your body and mind

Self-care can include:

eating enough
sleeping enough
staying hydrated
engaging in enjoyable exercise
journaling
maintaining social connections
spending time in nature

4. Speaking with others

Both Spinelli and Scott emphasize the importance of spending time with loved ones after infidelity.

Although being cheated on or being outed as the one who cheated might make you feel isolated, you’re not alone. Cheating is common.

Learn to ask for help from trusted friends and family. You might find that talking with them about what happened — venting productively can help you process your experience and feel better.

You might also want to ask loved ones for practical help, such as:

a place to stay for a night or two while you clear your head
help with moving your things, if you choose to move
a lift to therapy or couples counseling
watching your kids for a few hours while you decompress

Spending time with your loved ones can help you feel less isolated, whether it’s:

over a meal
during a hike
for a quick cup of coffee during your lunch break

5.

Therapy

Therapy can help you heal after infidelity. “Don’t be ashamed to seek professional help,” Spinelli says. “Talking things through in a safe, objective space is important.”

If you’re staying together, couples counseling can help you both rebuild trust and move past shame.

Additionally, you might want to consider finding a therapist for one-on-one sessions to help you cope in the aftermath of cheating.

It’s absolutely possible to heal from infidelity. Although the pain and grief can be intense, it’s also possible to work on the relationship so that you and your partner are able to move on.

Resources

Survive infidelity and stay together

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Relationship crisis Man and woman

A telephone message left no room for different interpretations: “Igor, darling, I miss you!” Julia was holding her husband's mobile in her hands and did not know how to live on. It happened two years ago, when they were with the whole family in the country. She watched from the terrace as their children played in the garden, and her husband went into the house, leaving the phone on the table. Hearing the vibrating signal, Julia took it, more mechanically than out of curiosity. And so…

“I didn't feel resentment, not anger, but just pain, as if I had been hit,” she recalls. Having silently cried all night next to her sleeping husband, she decided to fight: “The youngest daughter was only two years old, and I believed that we had a strong family.” Igor did not deny: "It's true, I have an affair with a new employee, but I love you, as before. " “I didn’t understand: how could he have an affair, commit adultery, if he still loves?”

35-year-old Kirill asked the same question - he and Maria had lived together for five years by the day when she admitted that she could not resist the charm of a new acquaintance whom she met at a friend's wedding. “She repeated that it was a mistake, that she only now truly understood how dear I am to her, and I didn’t want to listen to anything: she betrayed me, which means she doesn’t love me.”

There is no single cause for infidelity. “The lack of recognition, disappointment, the struggle for power in the family, the temptation of novelty,” transactional analyst Vadim Petrovsky lists the possible options. “As well as behavior patterns adopted from parents, which are then reproduced in our family life.”

There is a difference between a single betrayal and a double life that one of the spouses leads

A deceived partner should not blame himself for what happened. “There is something that is subject to our control, and something that goes beyond our capabilities and resources,” the analyst emphasizes. “By fully taking the blame on ourselves, we can even provoke repeated betrayals by giving the other a kind of “absolution.”

Of course, there is a difference between a single betrayal and a double life led by one of the spouses. Finding out about a long-term relationship is a harder blow. But even in this case, lessons can be learned by abandoning the role of the victim that the situation itself imposes on us. Being a victim in our own eyes and believing that we have the right to behave like a victim, we can feed the behavior of the “persecutor” with this emotional energy.

“At first, the one who has been cheated on experiences severe pain, and at this time it is difficult to think and analyze,” says family psychotherapist Elena Ulitova. “But then the pain eases a little, though it doesn’t go away completely. Then it's time to think about the reasons that caused the betrayal.

Vadim Petrovsky mentions the "asymmetry of suffering", emphasizing that the leading role in the analysis of what happened belongs to the deceived partner. And the one or the one who was unfaithful should change his behavior, reassure the partner, convince him that their relationship has value.

Cheating is not something that one of the partners does to the other, it's something that happens to a couple. They intend to continue this work together. And Kirill and Maria are trying to glue the fragments, but they are not very successful.

“Not only did my self-esteem suffer, but also the trust that existed between us. Although we stayed together, it’s hard for me to forgive her, ”Kirill admits.

“And then the husband comes back…”: rules for those who cheat

“It is wrong to think that it is enough to find the guilty person, point out his guilt and make him repent so that all problems are solved,” says family psychotherapist Inna Khamitova. - Cheating is not something that one partner does to the other, it's something that happens to a couple. The reasons for infidelity, as well as the possibility of overcoming the crisis, should be sought in the history of the two.

At our request, the experts analyzed the stories of couples who had cheating and identified three ways to cope with “life after cheating”: some never manage to leave this episode behind, others are distracted from it without rising to a new level, and still others come out of the test transformed.

A wounded couple

Anna cheated on Timothy a year and a half ago with her ex-husband. After a year of psychotherapy, they decided that they had managed to overcome the crisis. But Anna has the impression that she is still "paying" for what she did. “If I'm five minutes late, he's already nervous. I know that he searches my pockets and, whatever we happen to argue about, reopens the topic. Half the time we live in hell." Despite everything, they remain together, although they themselves cannot explain this.

According to Vadim Petrovsky, Anna and Timofey seem to be stuck in the past, they, like many other couples, have one thing left in their lives - resentment: martyrdom or even a protector. They think not so much about reconciliation, but about confirming their status as a victim, from which some benefits follow: the sympathy of others, the pleasure of condemning the "apostate", sometimes "indulgence" for their own infidelity.

Dangerous games: rules for lovers

Hence stalking, revenge... This vicious circle is difficult to break. Adultery causes pain, which is mixed with guilt, as if the deceived partner himself was not good enough to deserve love. But if he remains in this state, he will not be able to develop within the couple. To take your part of the responsibility for what happened means to become the master of your life again.

“Responsibility frees one from guilt,” Elena Ulitova is convinced. “Because we understand that the reason for what happened is not in what we are by nature, but in what we did or, on the contrary, did not do. ” Staying together is not an end in itself and is not synonymous with success. “When both partners turn a blind eye to treason, silence becomes the defining feature of the union,” says Elena Ulitova. “Under these conditions, marriage can technically survive, but family life is dying.”

How to get out of the crisis

Give up the role of a victim or executioner, which dictates the situation

Stop measuring everything by the measure of past or possible future infidelity

Play an active role, strengthen communication with a partner, instead of living in fear of another betrayal

A couple who survived

Marina had been living with her friend for a year, when during a business trip to Austria she met a man who “had some kind of electricity”. “I knew it wouldn’t be for long – we are from different countries, and I appreciated my friend and our common life with him,” she says. A few months later, she confessed everything to him.

“He didn't talk to me for two days. But we were invited to a family party, and he asked me to come to pretend that everything was in order. I took advantage of this to talk to him and explain that if I was going to leave, I would have already done so. It seems that I managed to calm him down, and I never felt unnecessary jealousy on his part. But this topic has become taboo for us.”

Marina and her friend are among those who managed to keep the couple together. “For some, maintaining family, social boundaries and financial stability, staying together despite infidelity, is more important than enjoying mutual desire, and this should be respected,” Elena Ulitova notes.

With such couples, she tries to find out what the relationship on the side has taught them, and takes into account their suffering: experienced by those who were cheated on and those who abandoned their new love.

“Often these couples are happy that they have found their place, found peace again and got rid of bitterness. They stay together because they like their life,” says Elena Ulitova. “But it is important that such a decision be made out of mutual desire, and not out of a feeling that we are morally obliged. Otherwise, we risk increasing the distance and losing sincerity in relationships.”

Sooner or later the couple will be involved in a situation associated with strong feelings, and then conscious control will be lost. “They avoid subtle, complex, delicate moments to maintain a semblance of well-being.” But silence does not mean forgetfulness. Lack of clarity threatens credibility.

“Relationships become more formal,” continues the psychotherapist. - Both sides are afraid to deepen them: after all, genuine experiences are hidden in the depths. If you move there, you don’t know what you will meet, and so fear arises. So, it is better not to interact on an emotional level, but to support the “I'm fine, you're fine” scenario. Such interaction can bring satisfaction, but within its framework it is impossible for the couple to develop either on an intellectual, or on a sensual, or on a parental level.

But are such couples doomed to an alienated, ritualized relationship in which genuine warmth never arises?

“Sooner or later the couple will be involved in a situation associated with strong feelings, and then conscious control will be lost,” Alexander Orlov answers this, “offenses, disappointment, suffering will break through - all feelings that for the time being were covered in silence ".

Such a "breakthrough" can lead to a final break, but can be life-saving if the two agree to an open conversation.

Start over

Understand what the true goals and desires of both are, not just fulfill moral or social obligations also the suffering of the one who stays in the family, refusing new love

A couple on the path of development

Daria always repeated: “If one fine day I find out that you have changed, I will pack my things at that very moment!” But when it actually happened, she not only stayed, but tried to forgive him.

“For almost half a year we discussed the reasons for his affair with our mutual friend. It was difficult for him and me, but thanks to these conversations, we really understood why we fell in love with each other and why we moved away from each other. Today I feel stronger. Before, I tried to agree with him in everything, but he almost left me. Now I have learned to express my own desires, and it seems to me that as a result, our relationship has become closer and more honest.

Using the infidelity crisis to transform and even revive broken relationships is possible, argues family therapist Inna Khamitova. This does not mean that this path will be easy.

“In the emotional storm that couples go through, it is difficult to keep the sequence: now “leave!”, then “hug!”; then “leave me alone!”, then “don’t leave me!” ... But having agreed to share responsibility for the crisis in relations, they begin to see a catalyst for change on the side of the novel, and not just betrayal.

The couple will also have to admit those feelings about which it is not customary to talk about - in particular, to accept the reality of experiencing sexual desire.

“You can treat it differently, you can consider it “bad”, moralize it, but this is a psychological fact, emphasizes Alexander Orlov. “This is what happened to one of the two and what the other will have to accept - without protest and condemnation.”

Those couples who manage to get out of this test with new strength enter into more mature relationships

But talking and understanding each other does not mean finding out all the details of the relationship. Inna Khamitova notes that excessive knowledge can be too painful and hinder reconciliation. She advises spouses not to demand a clinically accurate and inevitably painful account of what happened, but to ask what meaning he or she attaches to infidelity, what this situation can teach them.

Those couples who manage to come out of this ordeal with renewed vigor enter into more mature relationships. They accept the notion that infidelity of the body can coexist with faithfulness of the heart, and together they try to solve the problems that arise.

“This crisis can even strengthen the marriage,” Alexander Orlov believes, “and take the relationship to a new level, but there is a condition here: one forgives the other, and the latter sincerely wants to be forgiven and asks for forgiveness.” And this is not necessarily the one who cheated, this is a mutual process in which a culture of psychological contact develops, sensitivity to the needs of another.

“You can learn and practice it,” Alexander Orlov is convinced, “and this is the best way out of the crisis, as well as the prevention of infidelity. After all, what is an attentive, empathic, understanding, sincere attitude towards another person? It's an attitude of love!"

All our experts emphasize that most marriages are made at the peak of romantic, loving feelings, and if they continue to be cultivated and trained, then the relationship in a couple is strengthened and developed. And for those who doubt that the shattered relationship in a couple can be restored, they are reminiscent of the words of the playwright Bernard Shaw, who said that marriage is a series of meetings and divorces with the same person.

Get closer to each other

Share responsibility for damaged relationships with each other and not be afraid to look for reasons for infidelity in the couple's past

Be ready to hear what exactly your partner was looking for when he committed adultery. Be interested in his feelings and talk openly about yours

Discuss together the original "agreement" on which the life together was based, and amend it if necessary

Reflect on what kind of loyalty we require from a partner

Text: Elena Tyuleneva, Alina Nikolskaya Photo Source: Getty Images

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How to forgive a cheating husband or wife and live on

How to forgive cheating and live on

In order to answer the question “How to forgive cheating”, think about what prevents you from forgiving cheating. There are people for whom betrayal is tantamount to betrayal, because. Loyalty is a fundamental value on which relationships are built for such people. This needs to be honestly understood and acknowledged. If you belong to this category of people, then it makes sense to start thinking about the question "Do I forgive betrayal". As a rule, people are prevented from forgiving betrayal by resentment and undermined trust.

⇒ Resentment at a partner who has changed

In order to get rid of resentment, try to understand your partner. How to forgive an offense? It is usually difficult to understand the reason for cheating for those people who find it difficult to imagine that they can do the same. Try not to judge by yourself, but to listen to your partner. Often people cheat for the following reasons:

lack of love, intimacy or sex in a permanent relationship,

difficult to resist the temptation in a situation when the other person shows signs of attention and desire for intimacy,

drunken state

When your partner lacks love, intimacy and sex in a relationship with you, it is not only your partner who is to blame. Both people are responsible for the relationship, that is, the responsibility is shared by two. Accepting your part of the responsibility usually helps you forgive your partner and begin to change your relationship. If you do not understand how you can change your relationship, you can consult a family psychologist who will help you improve relationships in a couple.

If your partner found it difficult to resist the temptation when another person showed a desire for intimacy, then this usually indicates that your partner lacks self-confidence and a certain strength of character. Try to understand your partner as a human being and forgive his mistake if he repents of his act.

When it comes to drunken infidelity, many people do lose their self-control completely when they drink a certain amount of alcohol. In this state, people often commit such acts, for which they are then ashamed. Try to take this as your partner's weakness and forgive him for this weakness.

⇒ Shattered Trust

Often people who have been cheated on tend to think that if they cheat once, they can cheat again. In fact, such logic does not always work here, because it all depends on the reasons for the betrayal. If a person cannot live without cheating, then yes, such a person will most likely continue to cheat. However, most cheating is done for the reasons mentioned above. In these cases, a person can be faithful even after betrayal. Therefore, before concluding “if you cheated once, you can cheat again,” try to understand your partner. Ask yourself the question "is this person prone to betrayal, or changed due to certain circumstances?". If it seems to you that it is vital for your partner to change, then it is unlikely that he will be faithful to you. If your partner made a mistake and repents of it, then he may well be faithful after passing such a lesson. He will be afraid of losing you, and most likely will not take any more risks.

How to forgive your husband's infidelity and move on with your life

The first thing to do when you find out about infidelity is to throw out a storm of emotions and calm down. You need to start thinking rationally. Otherwise, experiences will interfere with the return of the soul to a balanced state. One method used in psychotherapy to respond to emotions is called the empty chair. You need to imagine that your husband is sitting on a chair and express to him all the claims, insults, in a word, discharge and give vent to anger. If you understand that you can’t let off steam on your own, resentment and anger continue to corrode you from the inside, you can contact a relationship psychologist to get psychological support and get rid of unpleasant emotions.

On the one hand, it seems like a good idea to speak out to close friends, to cry “in the vest”, but you shouldn't do it. Cheating is a problem between a man and a woman, and it should not go beyond this circle. Despite the tales of "polygamy of males in the wild," the traitor will feel the deepest sense of guilt towards you and now repents. It is better to try to help him forget about what happened, and forget yourself.

When the risk of emotional divorce is reduced, as well as the feeling of resentment, we move on to further actions. How to forgive a cheating husband and move on:

Analyze what is wrong in your relationship with your partner? Perhaps you do not satisfy him with something, you have stopped taking care of yourself, you are cold in bed, or for some other reason. It is important to understand which of the strings burst and led to such consequences. An ordinary heart-to-heart conversation, frank, will dot the "i".

Take care of yourself, what brings you joy. Remember yourself in a happy state. Feel attractive again. Put aside all your affairs, take time for yourself - go to a beauty salon, fitness, cinema. Remember what is interesting for you, what you love, from what it becomes warm and cozy. Bring more time and activities into your life for yourself, for the soul and for the body.

Stop obsessing over cheating, switch to the positive aspects of your life together. Remember how many happy moments you spent together.

Get yourself an interesting joint activity, a hobby, which will also help you distract yourself from the problem.

Under no circumstances should you punish your father or forbid him to see his children. It is also not easy for kids in times of discord in the family.

If you have tried various methods, but you still can't forgive the betrayal, contact a psychologist for a consultation with a cheater who will help you sort out your situation.

How to forgive your wife's infidelity and live on

Things are a little different with men. Often they tend not to splash out emotions, but rather, keep everything in themselves. A bad option would be to firmly attach to alcohol. Even worse is to build up resentment in yourself, like a snowball. You need to soberly assess the situation, and alcohol will simply delay experiences that will roll over again over time. The main thing is not to involve friends and relatives in the problem, to solve everything on your own.

The main reasons for female infidelity:

A woman feels lonely when her man is constantly busy with business, business trips, does not pay enough attention to her. The step of desperation when she wants to feel loved again.

Out of curiosity. This reason is given by some girls whose husband was the first sexually, and they wanted to know how this experience would look like with another. Behind this excuse lies either dissatisfaction in the intimate sphere of life with her husband, or a lack of love, as such. After all, out of simple curiosity, marriage with a loved one is not put on the line.

Life filled all my free time. Everyone forgets about romance, but never about resentment and feelings, because these things accumulate and eventually break out.

Revenge in response to her husband's infidelity. The most destructive thing you can do. It often occurs precisely on an emotional background, when it is not possible to soberly assess the situation. This form of infidelity is open and is not hidden from the man. There is no question of any continuation of the relationship.

Let's figure out how to forget about the problem, how to forgive your wife's infidelity and live on, if this is a single situation and your partner repents of what he did:

you are not satisfied with each other. Write everything down on a list and start fixing it together! The main thing to understand is that YOU BOTH are to blame for the problem!

Critically evaluate yourself and your behavior. Remember that your woman is the same, beautiful girl, attractive and sexy. It requires love, affection and care. Start working on yourself: sign up for a gym and tighten your figure, release your busy work schedule.

Arrange romantic moments for your beloved wife. Even a small bouquet of flowers and a candlelit dinner at home will be pleasant.

Spend more time together, find something to do together, just for the two of you.

After infidelity, spouses look at marriage in a completely different way, as it takes them out of the measured rhythm of its course. This chance of a reboot should be used to the maximum.

If it's difficult for you to cope on your own and you don't know how to forgive your wife's infidelity, then a psychologist after infidelity will help you find the right way out of the situation. And don't forget that life goes on! Everyone has the right to make a mistake if it is followed by remorse.

Make an appointment with a psychologist

How to forgive infidelity and save your family

It is possible and even necessary to save your family in case of infidelity if your partner made a mistake only once, went to adultery, and admits his guilt. It is important to distinguish between betrayal and betrayal. Often these two concepts are confused, which is not entirely correct.

If the beginning of family life is far behind, your feelings for each other have cooled down, life is eating up, resentment and discontent accumulate and reach a critical point - a one-time mistake of a partner against a background of despair is called "infidelity" or "treason".

If your marriage started recently, you have not yet had time to have children, and your partner is already running to the left, moreover, he does it systematically and does not feel guilty - this is pure betrayal.

Accordingly, it makes no sense to forgive betrayal, let's deal with betrayal.

A few steps on how to forgive infidelity and save the family:

Regardless of whether a man committed adultery or a woman, there is a weighty reason for this and you need to find it out. Calmly discuss everything that is not expressed. You need to constructively solve the problem, identify your shortcomings and start working on them.

Bring more romance into life, more joint positive emotions. Remember how much good happened between you and against this background switch from problems to positive memories, live them mentally again and again.

You don't have to live only by betrayal, put it "at the head of the table". It will eat you up from the inside and destroy your marriage.

You have common values, children who, despite their small age, understand everything perfectly and suffer no less than you.

If you do not want to lose everything that you have now, but intend to go through this difficult period and save your family, you can contact a family psychologist who will help you survive infidelity and improve family relationships.

How a psychologist can help you with cheating

A psychologist with cheating will help you understand your partner, as well as survive cheating.
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