Bipolar and sexdrive

Hypersexuality with bipolar disorder isn't a separate condition or problem that needs its own treatment — it's a symptom of bipolar disorder. Once the condition is successfully treated and mood swings and symptoms are under control, those hypersexual feelings will dissipate.

"When bipolar disorder is not being treated effectively, hypersexuality is often a symptom that can wreak havoc in a person's personal life and lead to poor decisions with possible serious and negative consequences. Treating the bipolar symptoms and getting hypomania and mania under control will often target and help hypersexuality as well,” explains Viguera.

"You treat the disease, not the symptom," she adds. “Treatments usually involve medications such as mood stabilizers or antipsychotics, as well as psychotherapy such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or interpersonal social rhythm therapy,” she says.

Once the disease is under control, people with bipolar disorder often react differently to sex and their past behaviors.

"You often see a lot of regret for the past behavior, because they put themselves in very bad situations," says Viguera. "When they're well, they reflect on that, and there can be a lot of regret and remorse. It's just another clue that shows you that it was not their normal state.”

In addition, hypersexuality can be one of the most difficult and challenging symptoms both for people living with the condition and for those close to them.

Sometimes the inability to control sexual urges leads to broken marriages and relationships. Both people in a relationship can suffer if these urges result in infidelity: The partner with bipolar disorder may feel distraught over having hurt the other partner, who in turn feels confused and angry for having been cheated on.

Hypersexual behavior can also negatively affect a couple’s sex life. Studies that examine sexuality in couples with one bipolar partner found decreased levels of sexual satisfaction associated with the diagnosis.

A meta-analysis published in the December 2016 issue of the Journal of Affective Disorders found a high prevalence of comorbidity between substance use disorders and bipolar disorder — meaning that a person is experiencing some form of both conditions simultaneously.

The study found substance abuse disorders to be quite common in people with bipolar disorder. The disorders with the highest prevalence in conjunction with bipolar disorder were alcohol use (42 percent), followed by cannabis use (20 percent) and other illicit drug use (17 percent).

Stimulants in particular can be problematic: The study authors point out that if stimulants are being used or abused, they could mimic symptoms of mania. In addition, alcohol and cannabis use can be linked to poor judgment, which may further contribute to hypersexual behavior.

Bipolar disorder is usually treated with:

• Mood-stabilizing medications
• Antipsychotic medications
• Antidepressants
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy
• Other forms of therapy and counseling that may include family members
• Electroconvulsive therapy, which involves using small electrical waves to treat the brain

The right combination of these various therapies can reduce or eliminate bipolar mood changes between mania and depression, as well as prevent or reduce symptoms, including hypersexuality.

Those symptoms of hypersexuality may be a red flag for some people with bipolar disorder indicating that they are slipping into a manic episode. If a person with bipolar disorder starts to notice themselves thinking more about sex or engaging in promiscuous behavior, they should notify their doctor of this onset of symptoms.

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA)

This organization supports people with depression and bipolar disorder. Learn more about treatment options for bipolar disorder, and check out the DBSA Wellness Toolbox.

Mayo Clinic

A top U.S. hospital, Mayo Clinic has educational information about bipolar disorder on its website and also offers care for bipolar disorder at its four locations in the United States. Learn more about how to schedule an appointment.

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

NIMH is a part of the National Institutes of Health, which is the world’s largest biomedical research agency. If you’re interested, consider participating in a research trial to help researchers discover more about potential treatments for bipolar disorder.

Additional reporting by Barbara Kean.

Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking

1. Compulsive Sexual Behavior.  Mayo Clinic. February 7, 2020.
2. Kopeykina I, Kim HJ, Khatun T, et al. Hypersexuality and Couple Relationships in Bipolar Disorder: A Review. Journal of Affective Disorders. May 2016.
3. Hunt GE, Malhi GS, Cleary M, et al. Prevalence of Comorbid Bipolar and Substance Use Disorders in Clinical Settings, 1990–2015: Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders. December 2016.

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Bipolar Disorder and Effects on Sex

Written by Kris Martins

In this Article

• Effects From Bipolar Disorder
• Effects From Bipolar Medications
• What You Can Do

If you have bipolar disorder and notice changes in your sexual health, you're not alone. Both your condition and some medications used to treat it can alter your sexual behavior and experience.

Knowing how to spot key symptoms and side effects will allow you to work with your doctor to find ways to improve your sexual health.

Effects From Bipolar Disorder

The defining feature of this mental illness is wide mood swings. But shifts in sexual attitudes and risk-taking also can be common signs of bipolar disorder. A few ways it can affect your sex life may include:

Hypersexuality. It’s also called compulsive sexual behavior. It’s when sex becomes a main focus of your life. You may not be able to control it even if it harms you or other people. This usually happens during the manic or hypomanic phase of your illness. That’s when you’re most likely to do something pleasurable without thinking about potential harms.

Risky behavior. It’s not only people who have bipolar disorder who engage in dangerous sex. But the condition can lead you to take chances more often. Those risks can include sex with strangers, sex without condoms and other protection, or mixing sex with drugs.

Lower sex satisfaction. You may find that you enjoy sex less than you used to. Or your sex drive may drop when you’re in the depressive phase of your illness, which can leave you feeling indifferent or tired.

Sexual dysfunction. You can have problems in four areas: desire, arousal, orgasm, and pain during sex. This can be a lingering symptom of bipolar disorder and typically happens when you're in a "normal" mood, and not feeling manic or depressed.

Effects From Bipolar Medications

Treatment with drugs can help you manage mania and depression. But some medications can have side effects that can cause sexual problems.

Lithium. About three in 10 people who take this common drug report sex issues. Lithium may lower testosterone levels, which is linked to low sex drive. It also may block a chemical that helps men get and keep an erection. That can lead to erectile dysfunction. Chances of problems get worse when you combine lithium with benzodiazepines, fast-acting sedatives.

Other side effects from lithium may include:

• Less sex
• Fewer sexual fantasies
• Lower sex satisfaction

Antipsychotic medications. Your doctor may prescribe aripiprazole (Abilify), olanzapine (Zyprexa), or other antipsychotic drugs to treat regular manic episodes or if you lose touch with reality. They work by blocking dopamine receptors in your brain. But that, in turn, raises your level of prolactin, a hormone that controls sexual functions such as menstrual periods and sperm production. The result can dampen your libido or make it harder for you to get aroused or reach orgasm.

Anticonvulsants. These can help with mania and mood swings, especially if lithium doesn't work well for you. Some anticonvulsants can interfere with your periods or disrupt your hormones. They may also lower your libido and make it harder to get and keep an erection.

What You Can Do

One of the best things you can do is be vocal and honest with your doctor or therapist about any symptoms or side effects you're feeling so they can fine-tune your treatment.

It may help to track any sexual symptoms of your bipolar disorder so you and your doctor can look for solutions. This is particularly important during the time when you may be trying different medications to find the right type and dosage. Be sure not to change or skip your medication without your doctor’s OK.

All About Bipolar Affective Disorder

What is Bipolar Affective Disorder?

Bipolar affective personality disorder, or manic-depressive psychosis, is a complex, mental illness characterized by constant mood swings. This is not an ordinary mood change that happens to every person, but a systematic psycho-emotional drop with a short-term normal state. It is the episodes from depression to an extremely agitated state that are called affective. In Russia, 1% of the population is affected by this disease. As a rule, it is observed among young women aged 20 to 30 years. However, men are also prone to bipolar disorder, and they begin it earlier than women. And if in women it begins with a depressive phase, then in men it starts with a manic phase. The appearance of symptoms of bipolar disorder in women is often associated with hormonal disorders and the characteristics of the menstrual cycle. nine0005

Bipolar affective disorder can destroy personal relationships, impair the quality of work, reduce academic performance, and in some cases even lead to suicide. Therefore, it is so important to diagnose it in time and prescribe appropriate treatment.

Causes of bipolar affective disorder

To date, doctors cannot answer the question about the exact causes of this disease. It is known for certain that it can be genetically transmitted, but sometimes it is in "sleep mode" until it is triggered by some stressful event. Also, pushing factors for the development of BAD can be: nine0005

• chronic fatigue;
• overwork;
• emotional burnout;
• dissatisfaction with personal life;
• death of a loved one;
• financial problems;
• dissatisfaction with life;
• sensitivity and susceptibility to things;
• melancholic character;
• head injury;
• use of drugs and alcohol.

Disease pathogenesis

The pathogenesis of bipolar affective disorder, that is, the onset and development of the disease, is currently not fully understood. At 95%, we can only say that it is transmitted genetically and is associated with neurochemistry. According to studies, in 80% of cases the nature of the disease is associated with the environment of the patient and only 20% is transmitted genetically. The causes of manic phases are increased tone of the central nervous system, as well as hyperfunction of the thyroid gland and pituitary gland.

Symptoms or how the disease manifests itself

As a rule, signs of bipolar affective disorder are observed in patients in the autumn-winter and winter-spring periods. And the point is not only in climatic features, but also in weakened immunity at the indicated times of the year.

BAD is divided into 2 phases: depressive and manic, and can manifest itself equally in both phases. The frequency of the phases and their change is very individual for each individual patient and lasts from 2 weeks to 2 years. However, even the duration of the disease cannot lead to any mental defects, such as schizophrenia, on the contrary, rather, patients with schizophrenia develop a “bipolar disorder”. nine0005

Bipolar affective disorder is characterized precisely by the sequence of the above phases. A patient with mania can be recognized by the following features:

• increased hyperactivity;
• excitability for more than a week;
• fast speech;
• great flow of speech and confusion of thought;
• rapid change in mood;
• increased self-esteem.

The latter entails performing overwhelming tasks that patients cannot afford. Also, the patient is accompanied by irritability, mild euphoria, excessive frankness in conversations and behavior. A person sleeps little, and 2 hours of sleep is enough for him to feel good. In rare cases, the phase is accompanied by delusions of grandeur or persecution, sound and / or auditory hallucinations. At the same time, the symptoms of the depressive phase are slightly different. It: nine0005

• laziness and apathy;
• depressed mood;
• constant desire to sleep;
• physical ailment;
• anxiety;
• heaviness in legs and head;
• unwillingness to do something.

At the slightest detection of symptoms and signs of bipolar affective disorder in a patient, an early diagnosis and surgical treatment of the disease is required. This applies to any course of the disease, even if the depressed mood or the sudden change of mood in a person lasts only a few days. Any timely help will be salvation and help for the patient and will help to survive the course of the disease more easily. Painful perception of criticism, shallow depression, anxiety, unreasonable anxiety - all this, too, should alert and serve as an impetus for taking decisive action. As mentioned above, both men and women are prone to bipolar disorder, although they are more common in the latter. This is due not only to menstrual irregularities and hormonal disorders, but also to a severe course during childbirth, the so-called postpartum depression. As a rule, women are more susceptible to the unipolar course of bipolar disorder, when the course of the disease is accompanied by only one of the phases: manic or depressive. The latter is usually more common. nine0005

Bipolar affective disorder symptoms in women are accompanied by rapid cycles and mixed episodes. The prerequisites for them are eating disorders, alcohol or drug addiction, abuse of antidepressants. In addition, women are more prone to migraines, thyroid disorders, diabetes and obesity. It is these external stimuli that become the prerequisites for the development of BAD. Childbirth also becomes one of the factors in the development of the depressive phase, if a woman has already been diagnosed with this disease before them. In this case, the risks of developing the disease increase several times. Women are also more likely to have suicidal thoughts. nine0005

But in men, the symptoms of bipolar affective disorder largely depend on external factors, and the course of the disease is a little milder. The periods between phases are long and get worse over time. With inadequate and untimely treatment, the disease progresses and it becomes more difficult to get rid of it. Mostly in men, a mixed type of disorder is observed, which is accompanied by a short-term remission. In men, more often than women, the ability to do something is lost, concentration of attention decreases, and insomnia appears. And if in women one phase of BAD can last longer than another, then in men the duration is almost the same. nine0005

In addition to external factors that influence the development of bipolar disorder in men, such as unsettled life, problems in personal life and at work, financial difficulties, a common cause of the development of the disease is long-term alcohol consumption.

Classification of affective disorder

This disease is classified into different types and phases. So, according to the international classification of diseases (ICD-11), types of bipolar affective disorder are divided into 1 and 2. The classic course, as mentioned earlier, is manic and depressive, and one phase can either last a long time or change abruptly to another. Another phase is due to a sharp transition - from manic to depressive without any interruptions. Frequent, long phases with rapid cyclicity - 4 or more phases significantly affect the patient's condition, his quality of life and are a poor prognosis for the course of the disease. nine0005

Bipolar affective disorder type 1 is accompanied by an aggravation of mania and pronounced depression, which leads to a violation of normal functioning. As a result - frequent hits in hospitals or police stations. Patients have a pronounced apathy, a complaint about themselves, the inability to do any business. The patient, as a rule, begins to blame himself, to consider himself incapable of anything.

And if BAD type 1 is characterized by a phase change, then bipolar affective disorder type 2 is due to the presence of only a depressive episode without mania. The course of the disease is similar to unipolar depression, however, these are two completely different diseases. If in patients in the first case, with prolonged use of antidepressants, everything returns to normal, then in patients with BAD type 2, they are not only contraindicated, sometimes, but can also cause hypomania, which has an extremely negative effect on the course of the disease. The phases last longer, replace each other faster, a mixed state occurs, which a person can hardly endure. nine0005

By phases, bipolar disorder is divided into the following types: manic, depressive, and also, a mixed episode of bipolar affective disorder is distinguished. The latter can be manifested by sudden outbursts of fun in a state of melancholic mood.

Other indicators are:

high spirits against the background of manic behavior. nine0016

As a rule, the symptoms of this episode last about 1 week or quickly change. Sometimes a patient with a disorder is accompanied by insomnia, suicidal thoughts, lack of appetite. Pronounced symptoms are the reason for the patient's social and professional maladaptation and a significant deterioration in the quality of life.

If we talk about the depressive phase of bipolar affective disorder, then it is caused by several factors and is accompanied by the following symptoms: nine0005

• Endogenous depression (permanent depressed mood) accompanied by vitality - feeling alive, able to move, energetic.
• In the stage of the depressive triad, when a person does not feel like a full-fledged member of society and melancholy is fully manifested, slowness in speech and movement is observed.
• Pronounced change of mood. From the morning bad mood with a feeling of melancholy and anxiety, nothing remains by the evening.
• Disorder of appetite. Not a single meal seems tasty to the patient, he begins to lose weight, and in women there may be a violation of the monthly cycle up to complete disappearance. nine0016
• May present with psychomotor retardation.
• Constant feeling of melancholy.
• Complete decrease in sexual desire and loss of maternal instinct.
• Periodic occurrence of suicidal thoughts.
• Occasionally, some patients experience tachycardia, constipation and mydriasis - dilated pupils.
• Rarely, delusions, hallucinations may occur.

---

It is important to understand that patients are at high risk of suicide during this phase. According to statistics, this phenomenon occurs in 40% of cases. Therefore, it is so important to diagnose it in time for subsequent timely treatment. nine0005

---

The manic phase of bipolar affective disorder varies in severity from elevated mood to severe mania. In the first state there is no self-criticism, a person is adaptive to the environment. This phase is characterized by the following symptoms:

• Manic triad: increased mood, accelerated thinking, movements.
• Activity, energy, burst of energy. The patient takes on many things, but does not complete any one. nine0016
• Lack of concentration.

This phase has 5 stages:

• Hypomanic, which is characterized by increased mood and cheerfulness. Patients experience an increase in appetite and sleep duration.
• Expressive, which is accompanied by constant jokes and chatter against the background of short-term outbursts of anger.
• A violent state in which a prolonged excited state is accompanied by disorder and incoherent speech. nine0016
• Motor calmness.
• Reactive with the return of all symptoms of mania to normal. Sometimes in this scenario, patients may experience amnesia and some episodes of mania are simply forgotten.

If the main symptom of the manic phase of bipolar affective disorder is increased excitability, then in the depressive phase, on the contrary, the mood is constantly sluggish. Patients with a manic stage of development cannot soberly assess their behavior or completely deny it. In parallel with euphoria, irritability and anxiety develop. A person is uncomfortable in this state. nine0005

It is possible to make a diagnosis with a prolonged course of the disease - more than 1 week with the preservation of the phase at the main time of the day. Along with irritability, 4 additional symptoms will certainly appear. Symptoms can shift in different directions, turn from hypomania - a mild state, high activity and high spirits, into a manic psychosis. Patients with psychosis are visibly active, behaving erratically, sometimes screaming, sometimes singing. Excitation reaches its climax, the state is not stable, irritability increases, sometimes delusions or hallucinations develop. Manic psychosis is often confused with schizophrenia. nine0005

Mixed bipolar affective disorder is a mixture of two phases that literally drives the patient crazy. On the one hand, he has a pronounced stream of brilliant thoughts, on the other, suicidal thoughts and feelings of guilt. This is a very dangerous phase, which is a prerequisite for suicide. The feeling of anxiety grows even more than in the other two phases, especially if it is caused by alcohol.

---

A patient with bipolar disorder cannot perceive criticism and does not adequately assess his condition. Any episodes can cause rash actions, unreasonable risks that pose a threat to both him and other people. nine0005

---

No matter what type a person has and no matter how the course of bipolar affective disorder passes, timely diagnostics will help stop the course of the disease and prevent future complications. It is important to understand that a person's life is divided into several bands with the development of this disease: months of impenetrable darkness and the same amount of time of euphoria. The person himself does not understand that he needs help, and he does not consider himself sick.

If a person develops bipolar disorder against the background of other concomitant mental illnesses, such as: nine0005

• obsessive state;
• alcohol or drug addiction;
• eating disorders;
• Attention deficit coupled with hyperactivity;
• social phobia;
• panic attacks and other diseases, the course of the disease can worsen significantly.

Complications of bipolar affective disorder

Complications of bipolar affective disorder are characterized by the development of non-medical diseases, namely asocial adaptation. Thought processes also change, mental ability and attention decrease, memory deteriorates. In some patients, the worldview changes completely. According to the conducted studies, it was revealed that the creative potential directly depends on the course of BAD. People could not make contact with others. This applies, by the way, to both adults and children. nine0005

Patients with a depressive phase and suicidal thoughts are prone to it, which can also serve as a sad outcome for a person. A constant change of mood, a complete change in thoughts and consciousness, the inability to lead a full life, live in a family and raise children, the inability to adequately assess one's condition and others - these and many other possible consequences of bipolar affective disorder that need to be nipped in the bud and prevent the disease from developing .

When to see a doctor?

---

You need to consult a doctor already if one or two of the above symptoms occur, regardless of the phase, for 1 or more weeks.

---

When you understand that a person close to you is constantly in a depressed state and immediately becomes cheerful, when a person gets bored with life, his hands drop, or he is energetic, excited, grabs at everything, but does not complete everything to the end, then it is worth sounding the alarm. Only a doctor will be able to diagnose whether it is a disorder, what degree it has, and how the course develops. nine0005

Diagnostics

Diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder is based, first of all, on a survey of the patient himself. After all, he does not admit to the presence of hypomania or mania until he is asked. Questions about suicide, plans for the future, can be good helpers in identifying the disease. The second key point is the delivery of hormones to check the functions of the thyroid gland. Among other things, it is necessary to obtain an anamnesis for the use of drugs and alcohol by collecting urine and blood. nine0005

It is important to periodically screen people with schizophrenia for manic symptoms, however, unlike people who have bipolar disorder, they cannot return to normal between phases. Panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders can make the diagnosis much more difficult.

Treatment

Treatment of bipolar affective disorder is possible both with the help of therapy and medication.

Treatment consists of several stages: nine0005

1. Relief and control of symptoms.
2. Long-term treatment until remission is achieved.
3. Treatment maintenance and prevention. Trying to keep remission.

The choice of medicines is a little complicated by their possible side effects, moreover, no medicine can be called universal. It is important to apply the drugs previously prescribed to the patient, which gave a positive result. If the treatment will take place for the first time, then the appointment of drugs depends on the history of the disease and symptoms. Treatment of severe forms may be accompanied by the appointment of specific antidepressants, the effectiveness of which, however, has not been proven. nine0005

Among the drugs for the treatment of bipolar affective disorder, mood stabilizers and antipsychotics of the 2nd generation are distinguished. They can be used both separately and in combination with each other. For a more effective recovery, the patient needs to independently work to improve his condition. Hospitalization is possible, but only in a manic episode with type 1 bipolar disorder. At the same time, treatment can be both voluntary and compulsory. Staying in the clinic during this period is a long stage, as full outpatient treatment is carried out. nine0005

In addition to drug treatment, therapy for bipolar affective disorder is used. This can be phototherapy during the bipolar season of any type. However, this method is concomitant. The main treatment is medication and symptomatic relief.

---

It is also important to correctly predict the further course of the disease, because the quality of treatment depends on this. Among all types of phases and periods, a fast-cyclic disorder can be predicted the worst, since it is often diagnosed incorrectly, which entails subsequent incorrect treatment. nine0005

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+7 (495) 121-48-31

Prevention or advice in case of illness

There are no clinical guidelines for bipolar affective disorder as such. It is important not only to maintain therapy, but also to exclude factors that can cause the development of the disease and eliminate all negative factors:

• exclude alcohol and any psychotropic substances;
• observe sleep and food intake;
• lead a healthy lifestyle; nine0016
• actively communicate with colleagues and friends;
• try not to be alone;
• find any hobbies outside of work.

These simple rules will help, if not cured, then delay the approach of the disease for a long time and make it easier to endure its course. If you notice any of the above symptoms in yourself or your loved ones, be sure to consult a doctor. The specialists of our clinic will help to make a timely diagnosis, highlight the phase of bipolar disorder and prescribe the right treatment that will give a positive result. Be healthy! nine0005

References:

1. Zhmurov V.A. Mental disorders
2. Tyuvina N. A., Stolyarova A. E., Smirnova V. N. Bipolar affective disorder: gender characteristics of the course and therapy
3. Tiganov A.S., Snezhnevsky A.V., Orlovskaya D.D., Manual of Psychiatry
4. Tiganov A.S. Manual of Psychiatry - M. Medicine
5. Bukhanovsky A.O., Kutyavin Yu.A., Litvak M.E. General psychopathology
6. A.V. Snezhnevsky - Clinical Psychiatry
7. Gert Sauer Siberian Lectures on Analytical Psychology

What are your sexual intentions? World of Psychology

Think for a moment about the very last time you had sex. Think who, where, we already know what (although if you want to take a closer look at this, feel free to). But what about why? Why did you have sex with this person in that place and at that very moment? And just as important, what do you need to complete this sexual experience? nine0005

Although scientists have been studying sexual behavior systematically (think surveys, interviews, experiments) for about 70 years, we still have a lot to learn as a field about the psychology of human sexuality. And we - as individual actors in this game of love, gender and relationships - have a lot to learn about our own hearts and desires.

Why sex?

We know that people have sex for many and varied reasons. One recent study identified over 200 reasons given by college students for sex, including reasons for attraction, pleasure, enjoyment, jealousy, and, less commonly, relieving headaches or seizures. nine0005

• Keeping Christmas by Kirk Cameron
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As we get older, we might add a few new reasons to the list: because the kids are sleeping at friends' houses on the same night, because it's your partner's birthday, because you're afraid your partner will leave you for someone with a higher sex drive if you don't, or because sex helps you show youth and vigor again and again, so only kissing while naked can do. nine0005

Emotional Intentions

While the "reasons" for sex are, I think, interesting and important to study, so are our emotional intentions for sex. Reasons are based on logic - they reflect what we know (or think) about what we are doing. They are products of the mind and what we use to explain our behavior. Intentions reflect what is below the surface. Many of us have sex for pleasure, attraction, generosity of heart (for example, to make your partner feel better), or obligation. But what are these "reasons"? nine0005

• Anger in marriage II: Fear of compassion
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• Politics.
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Some scholars have studied how our attachment styles may be related to our sexual styles. For example, people with high levels of avoidance—those who avoid intimacy or attachment to their relationship—may prefer casual sex as well as sexual positions that are less "emotionally loaded" (such as backside or other positions that make eye contact difficult to resolve) . Those with a lot of preoccupation, on the other hand, may use sex as a way to make sure their partner stays and doesn't reject or reject them (even if they don't want to have sex themselves). nine0005

On different days, and in response to different ebbs and flows in our relationships, many of us may see bits and pieces of these "sexy styles" in our own bedrooms. There may be times when you feel confident and confident and can take or leave sex as you please. At other times, you may feel insecure or jealous and find that having sex with your partner helps you feel calm or relieved. Sex and love are very dynamic forces in our lives, and these changes are a healthy adjustment to the momentum of the relationship. nine0005

How awareness can make sex better

However, I would suggest that developing awareness of your emotional needs can make your sex life more meaningful or enjoyable. For example, noticing when you're having sex to make your partner happy can help you deepen the way you express your sexuality as a tool for giving pleasure (rather than a sense of "obligation," which is a less pleasant place). By noticing when you need intimacy and confidence, you can suggest sexual positions that will help you feel more connected or loved. Being aware of your needs and intentions can help guide your behavior so that if you need to cuddle, you will get it. And if you need a quick stress reliever, you can get that too (it's okay to ask - or give - quickly!). nine0005

Two common sex storylines seem to involve sex for love or passion, but there are many other options. Sexual intimacy with another person, or sexual pleasure and fantasy when you are on your own, can fill very important emotional needs—and your awareness of them can help you find sex in a way that makes you feel satisfied with you and your partner,

Debbie Herbenick, PhD, MPH is a Research Scientist at Indiana University, Sexual Health Educator at Kinsey Institute and author of Feel Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction . Her personal blog can be found at MySexProfessor.

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