An older man dating a younger woman

Why Do Older Men Date Younger Women?

Consenting adults come together for many reasons and age isn’t always a factor. Older men may fall for younger women and younger women may sometimes prefer to date older men.

While some people may believe the motives behind big age gaps in relationships are always sinister, older men may gravitate toward younger women for many valid reasons, and that may be the case for younger women dating older men, too.

Age and consent

This article discusses older men dating younger women where both partners are above the legal age of consent in their state.

If both partners are above the legal age of consent, it doesn’t mean consent is implicit. Asking for consent and both people being on the same page is key in any healthy romantic relationship.

If you’re below the age of consent and an adult’s behavior is making you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, help is available. You can:

Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 for confidential, 24/7 support.
Visit Stop It Now! for online resources or reach out to their helpline at 888-773-8368.
Visit Childhelp for resources to handle and report abuse or to chat live with someone who can help.

Why does anybody want to date someone else? There are infinite possibilities.

The vulnerability of young girls has made the older-men-dating-younger-women stereotype a predatory one.

While it’s true that some men may consider younger women easy targets for manipulation or control, there are less sinister reasons an older man may be drawn to someone younger.

Sometimes it just happens. You fall in love with the person and overlook their age. Other times, it’s actually the energy, appearance, and life perspective of a younger woman that may be attractive to an older man. In some instances, the intention may not be a healthy one. Every case is different.

Ancestral practices

A 2020 large-scale replication study examined mate preferences across 45 countries. Researchers found that most men placed a higher emphasis on appearance when it came to choosing a partner.

The reason behind it isn’t necessarily vanity.

Primitive humans seemed to have selected mates based on reproductive success. Features like youth, symmetrical bone structure, and wide hips in females were viewed as signs of overall health and vitality, which would ensure species survival.

On some level, the ancestral and instinctual attraction to such features may remain in both Eastern and Western cultures, as noted by a large international study from 2020.

This could be a reason why men, in general, may be attracted to younger women.

Long-standing traditions

Stephanie Juliano, a licensed professional clinical counselor from Rio Rancho, New Mexico, points out women haven’t traditionally had the benefit of equality.

“Men initially had more privileges, and so it was not unheard of taking a younger partner to take care of, and on the other hand, a young woman leaving home was being taken care of both financially and socially,” she explains.

While the adult-child relationship dynamic has been denounced in some parts of the world, there’s still much work to do in that respect. It’s also possible that these practices have influenced dating culture and there may still be an undercurrent of older men dating consensual younger women based on wanting to be their provider.

Entering crisis mode

It’s probably one of the most discussed reasons for older men dating younger women: The midlife or identity crisis.

Do older men mentally resist aging by dating younger partners? Is the midlife crisis even real? There’s much discussion but limited research on the topic. Some argue that this is yet another stereotyped cliche that doesn’t have much proof behind it.

How old is “too old” when it comes to an age gap in relationships?

According to data accumulated over the course of 7 decades, in developed countries, the average age gap among heterosexual couples is 2 to 3 years.

In these relationships, the data indicates it’s more common for men to be the older partner.

Age gaps are rarely discussed until they’re considered “too big,” but there’s no hard rule about when an age gap becomes significant.

Reported satisfaction in a relationship may start to see diminishing returns if the age gap between partners is larger than 10 years, suggests an 80-paper review from 2016.

In misogynist cultures, young women dating older men may be often accused of being “gold diggers,” or just in the relationship for financial gain.

Research, however, shows that when it comes to establishing long-term relationships, the majority of women, of all ages, are typically interested in older men.

A large study of more than 12,000 participants in Finland found that most women prefer same-age or older male partners throughout life, while men, regardless of age, tend to prefer women in their 20s.

While women may also seek older men out of long-standing provider traditions, there are other reasons this matchup might be appealing.

Emotional maturity

Research suggests men take longer than women to reach mental maturity, making it reasonable for young women to feel more emotionally compatible and secure with older men.

The father complex

Young women who grow up with absent, emotionally unavailable, or abusive fathers may develop what’s known as the father complex.

The father or Oedipus complex isn’t a recognized disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5^th edition, text revision (DSM-5-TR), and it’s a controversial term. Originally a Sigmund Freud’s theory, the term and concept have been long controverted.

Initially, the theory described how children form a strong attachment with the parent of the opposite sex and start to compete for attention and love with parents of the same sex. This is part of the natural psychosexual development.

When a person stays psychologically stuck in this stage of development, they may experience challenges in adult relationships.

When it comes to younger women dating older men, some people refer to the complex as “daddy issues,” a gendered stereotyping term.

Only a mental health professional can accurately determine if a younger woman’s attraction to older men has roots in unresolved childhood conflicts.

What about older women and younger men?

A double standard may exist in some cultures that accept older men dating younger women. Older women dating younger men may not be seen so kindly, although it could be explained differently.

Mary Mimi Schultz, a licensed professional counselor from Houston, explains this is often because the component of vulnerability is missing from this dynamic.

“When a younger man dates an older woman, it is more accepted because she is not in the relationship for money, typically,” says Schultz.

In a chauvinist culture, an older woman may still be seen as the weaker one in the relationship, not the one taking advantage of a younger partner, which may happen to older men dating younger women.

When two people genuinely love one another and have built that love on commonalities, companionship, respect, and trust, a relationship can work — regardless of the age gap.

Patricia O’laughlin, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Los Angeles, says relationships with a large age gap may be wonderful opportunities for personal growth.

“There can be significant differences in beliefs between generations. It’s a real chance to learn how to consider multiple perspectives on an issue or experience,” she says.

Schultz adds these types of relationships also tend to have high levels of maturity, which can mean a lower chance of settling for less than ideal circumstances.

“Typically, an age gap difference means one is in it for the love and relationship,” she says.

Any relationship can face challenges, but research suggests age gaps like those in relationships between older men and younger women have been linked to:

Depression

As partners age, the older partner may not be able to meet the energy levels of the younger partner, or may feel inadequate.

Depression in older adults may also be linked to experiences unique to the age, like losing close friends and retirement, something a younger partner may not be able to relate to.

Infidelity and lack of relationship commitment

Although not a rule, it’s possible that younger partners may gravitate back toward people their own age, particularly if the older partner doesn’t have the same sex drive.

Infidelity isn’t exclusive to relationships with age gaps, though. As in any other case, trust and open communication are key to managing this challenge.

Lower relationship satisfaction

Many factors can influence relationship satisfaction. With a large age gap, partners may experience stress or anxiety from:

social stigma
different priorities in life, or goals that don’t align
power dynamics
clashing social circles
age-related health challenges

How to manage challenges

Experts cite communication as critical for the success of relationships between older men and younger women.

Juliano recommends open communication about big life questions, right from the start.

“Are there common interests in life goals, religion, family, where do you see yourself, what do you want in the next 5, 10, 15+ years?” she suggests you ask yourself.

O’Laughlin explains that figuring out these questions and creating plans to address them can strengthen your relationship and decrease resentment and conflict.

If you’re unsure where to start, a relationship counselor can help you and your partner identify areas of concern and possible solutions.

Why would older men date younger women and vice versa? As with any other relationship, there are many factors involved. Emotional security, maturity, common life perspectives, physical attraction, and chemistry may be involved. Instincts and culture may also play an important part.

It’s also possible in some cases that unresolved relationship challenges with father figures or traumatic experiences may be at play. Only a mental health professional can determine if this is the case.

Having a big age gap doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is bound to fail. Open communication about life goals and expectations can help you and your partner build a foundation of trust and respect.

9 Reasons Why Dating With Age Gap Works

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May-December pairings in relationships are not uncommon, be it on-screen portrayals, celebrity couples, or even in the case of the average Joe and Jane. Yet, if you find yourself drawn to someone who is your senior by many years, the question about the viability of older man younger woman relationships does crop up, even if fleetingly.

There is no denying the fact that Hollywood couples like George and Amal Clooney and Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have shown the way forward in older man younger woman relationships. Even though the rumor mills remain abuzz about how these star couples are dealing with older man younger woman relationship issues, they seem to have found the secret to keeping their partnerships going strong despite the difference in their years.

In this modern-day age, many women agree that they are more comfortable with the idea of dating older men or men who are more mature than their peers. If you’re one of those women, it helps to know how a young woman and an older man can make their relationship work. To that end, we spoke with psychiatrist Dr. Shefali Batra to understand the older man younger woman relationship psychology and why some women prefer to date much older men.

9 Reasons Why Older Man Younger Woman Dating Works

Table of Contents

We have all seen young women swooning over much older men and skipping a heartbeat or two over those salt-pepper looks. Heck, we’ve been those younger women at some point. Why do women like older men? Why do younger women feel attracted to older men? Can an older man younger woman relationship be a fulfilling one? Our expert sheds light on these questions by telling us the reasons women like to be with older men:

Related Reading: 10 Must Watch Younger Man Older Woman Relationship Movies

1. Women mature faster

The first reason that an older man and younger woman may date each other is that women mature faster as compared to men. “Be it psycho-dynamically, emotionally, psychologically, they grow up faster compared to their male counterparts in the same age group. Hence, women connect better, mentally and emotionally, with men who are older than them,” says Dr. Batra. We ask her: Can an older man love a younger woman? She says, “Yes, he gels with her more because he is on the same wavelength with her.”

So, if you’ve wondered what attracts an older man to a younger woman or why do older men like younger women, the answer is that the age difference makes them more in sync with each other. They may be separated by their years but have similar levels of emotional and intellectual maturity.

2. Older men can handle relationships better

“Older men tend to have more experiences in life and relationships. This gives them a better understanding of the psyche of an average woman. An older man is, thus, better equipped to take care of a younger woman’s expectations and needs. Whether it is unrealistic or realistic expectations in a relationship, an older man knows how to handle them,” Dr. Batra says.

When you talk about older men dating younger women, it becomes obvious. Older men are certainly more adept at dealing with this because they have reached a certain level of maturity and know how to deal with different behaviors a woman exhibits. This is not to say that old man younger women relationship issues don’t exist, but that these couples find a way around them.

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3. More professional stability

What attracts a younger woman to an older man? Well, an older man is more likely to be established in his career and has attained a certain level of success in life. This professional stability certainly gives a woman a greater sense of security. It also lets him invest more time and effort into the relationship.

“Of course, it’s not that women cannot or do not earn or take care of the man. But if you take our ‘older man younger woman relationship’ advice, the age-old norms of a patriarchal society tend to condition our minds on a subconscious level. So women continue to associate professional success with security in relationships. Besides, having reached the peak of their career, older men are more relaxed about their professional goals and are able to give more time to their women,” Dr. Batra explains.

4. More sexually evolved

Women like to date much older men

Another reason behind an older man younger woman dating each other is the sexually evolved persona of the former. Older men know what women want and need in bed. This can lead to greater physical intimacy, making the age-gap relationship more fulfilling for both partners.

According to Dr. Batra, ‘older men younger women’ dynamics often have great sexual compatibility and this gives rise to more emotional intimacy in the relationship. This sexual and emotional compatibility between an old guy young girl (rather, woman) is among the reasons that older men like younger women and vice versa.

5. They’re more sophisticated

“With age comes sophistication, so older men are usually more experienced, sophisticated, and smarter in their choices. They also are more likely to seek a meaningful, serious relationship than the younger ones who are more frivolous in their choices and decisions, and most often not ready for commitment,” says Dr. Batra.

An older guy dating a younger woman knows how to woo her. Not only can an older man love a younger woman deeply, but he also knows how to show his love and affection more directly. Be it through romantic gestures like getting her flowers, understanding her emotional needs, or indulging in pillow talk, he makes her feel appreciated and valued.

Related Reading: The 18 Signs Of A Confident Man That Women Look For

6. They share responsibilities

Statistically speaking, older men know more about sharing responsibilities compared to their younger counterparts. They may be handier around the home because they have more time at hand and have picked up some skills along the way. One simple example of this could be that older men are often better cooks than young guys.

So if you look at the older man younger woman relationship psychology, then this works wonderfully for both partners as they can create a partnership of equals in earnest. The younger woman feels secure with a guy like this, and the older man finds that excitement and spark that may have been missing from his life.

7. Older men follow holistic lifestyles

Older men are capable of making healthier lifestyle choices

As you age, you tend to become mellow and less emotionally volatile. Older men are calmer and capable of making healthier lifestyle choices. A majority of older men indulge in exercise, eat healthily, and look after themselves. We see so many older people today who are passionate about biking and weightlifting, participating in triathlons, and so on.

On that note, it’s imperative to offer an important piece of old guy young girl relationship advice: An older man’s attitude to life and his relationship will be centered around stability and rhythm and the younger woman should learn to enjoy that. Do older men like younger women because of their electrifying energy and zeal for life? Yes, sure. But he may not be able to match it. So, the younger partner has to be prepared to slow-dance her way through this relationship rather than looking to set the floor on fire.

8. They make better life choices

Older men make more healthy and rational choices. That is why there are fewer older man younger women relationship issues. And even the ones that arise from time to time are addressed and put to bed more healthily than they’d typically be dealt with in relationships where both partners are peers.

This usually means that they will not do anything immature like getting crazy drunk, partying till dawn, or breaking rules just for the heck of it. They are more grounded. They are more sorted when it comes to finances and younger women don’t have to deal with financial stress if they have an older man as a partner. Older men have a rhythm in their life that fits in quiet evenings, Sunday brunches, and beach holidays. This is what attracts a younger woman to an older man.

9. Their biological clock is not ticking

Men remain biologically fertile longer than women. So, when an older man younger woman date, they don’t have to worry about rushing into taking things to the next level because of a ticking biological clock. This would be a concern if the gender dynamics were reversed. Also, older men are more settled and like to take things slow. They are in no hurry to get into nappy duties. That works out great for a younger woman.

Do Older Man Younger Woman Relationships Work?

Yes, age-gap relationships have existed and thrived in every age and time. If you look around, you’d find enough evidence that older man younger woman relationships work like a charm. However, this does not mean that there aren’t going to be ups and downs along the way. Being prepared for the potential pitfalls can help in navigating them more successfully.

Older man younger woman relationship issues

The question of ‘can an older man love a younger woman enough to build a lasting relationship with her?’ cannot be answered unless we look at some of the common issues May-December couples deal with. Here are some older man younger woman relationship issues you have to brace for:

Difference of opinions: From your taste in movies and music to permissible screen time, you and your partner are going to disagree about a lot of things. This can lead to frequent bickering and arguments
Insecurities: Insecurity can be a big issue in such relationships because ‘being old’ is often viewed as an inadequacy. An older man dating a younger woman could develop a complex, thinking that he is less than the men his partner’s age
Possessiveness: An older man might be more possessive about the younger woman in his life. This possessiveness often stems from the fear of losing her. The woman, in turn, may find her partner’s possessiveness to be unreasonable and confining. This behavior can interfere with personal independence, leaving the woman feeling that he exercises too much power and control over her
Uncertainty about the future: This can be one of the most pressing older man younger woman relationship issues that can impact both partners. For instance, the younger partner may want to get married and start a family at some point. Given the man’s advancing years, he may be hesitant to go down that path again. If the age gap is significant, the concern of how long they have together can loom large on the relationship, as the older partner’s mortality becomes more real

Related Reading: Why Modern Love Is Like A Soothing Balm For The Soul

Making older man younger woman relationships last

It is not as if an older man and younger woman cannot build a successful, stable, and fulfilling relationship. For that to happen, both the partners must respect each other’s boundaries and have mutual respect. Then the relationship becomes enriching and uplifting for both partners.

However, if the respect is lacking and he thinks that he can command respect simply because he is the older one in the relationship, it might lead to some serious problems. The key is to understand that despite the age difference, a relationship has to be based on equal partnership. He is not the father here, he is a partner sharing his life with a person he loves.

An older man younger woman relationship with an age difference of 10-15 years or more might work out. But it is very difficult for them to find common ground in the long run. Their points of reference, beliefs, and ideas can be so drastically different that it may seem like the two partners have descended from different planets. This brings up the question: Why do older men date younger women at all?

Well, because there is also an undeniable pull and charm to these unusual couple pairings. She makes him feel young and alive again, he makes her feel more secure and loved than she’s ever felt in past relationships. As long as both partners decide to work on their differences and make it a shared goal to overcome the challenges, age-gap relationships can flourish and thrive.

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FAQs

1. Can an older man date a younger woman?

An older man can always date a younger woman and age gap relationships can work wonders. Some relationship problems can arise from the age gap, but if that is handled, the relationship can be great. Love sees no boundaries, it might sound cheeky but it is true. If the partners involved are thoroughly invested in making things work, no matter the age gap or any difference for that matter, the relationship will prevail. In fact, in this article, we have discussed why and how this age gap could work to the couple’s advantage.

2. What attracts a younger woman to an older man?

Apart from his salt-and-pepper hair, his penchant for healthy life choices, and the financial security he brings to a relationship, a younger woman is attracted to an older man because he is more understanding and emotionally sound. Women tend to mature faster than men, and this leaves the men their age a tad behind in the maturity department. It is obvious that women tend to be attracted to older men.

3. What is it called when an older man dates a younger woman?

The internet is filled with terms like manthers and cougars to label young-old relationships. Men who pursue younger women are called manthers. But we would urge the world to normalize these relationships. Two consenting adults are enough to make up a relationship. We all have our individual desires and preferences and we need to be honest and proud of them. As long as the law doesn’t prevent them from being together when an older man dates a younger woman, it is simply called a relationship.

4. Why do older men like younger women?

A younger individual always brings a sense of energy and fresh perspective to a relationship. Middle-aged men tend to be attracted to the youthful energy of younger people. The fire and the vigor bring about a new life. A problematic reason could also be their tendency to guide and control relationships. Younger women are more agreeable than older women and men have an innate urge to be the ones in control. There could be many more reasons for it but it is important not to generalize matters of love and relationship and find individualistic answers via communication.

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Why do men date older women?

Men meet older women much more often than we imagine. Everyone remembers Demi Moore's romance with Ashton Kutcher: there is a 16-year difference between them. And this is far from the limit: the wife of French President Emmanuel Macron is 24 years older than him and taught at the school where he studied. They met when Macron was 15. And although the romantic relationship began later, after he came of age, the public's close attention to their relationship continued for many years.

And this situation is not unique. The condemnation of "unequal" relationships, where the man is much younger, is one of the signs of our time. And yet, despite the stereotypes and bias of society, such unions continue to form and be happy.

Why men prefer older women

According to a recent survey, young men who are in love with older women explain their preference for various reasons, such as considering them better partners than their peers. Mature women are confident and self-sufficient, excellent interlocutors, they know how to listen and are not obsessed with creating a family. Some argue that next to such women, their self-confidence grows.

Men are attracted by rich life experience and emotional stability, stability, sincerity and openness to new things. One interviewee recalled his period of dating young women as unsuccessful "attempts to have a meaningful conversation in noisy nightclubs", as well as having to endure the "brainwashing" and immature behavior of the girls he went on dates with.

Permissible age difference - what is it?

Gloria Cowan's 1984 survey showed that people tend to think that such relationships will be less happy than "traditional" ones. At the same time, it seemed to the adolescents and adults surveyed that the difference of 18 years would seriously affect the future of the couple. With a less significant age gap, people's judgments became softer.

So what is the "ideal" option? The survey participant, who described his experience with young women, noted that the difference of five years between him and his partner was not enough for the "emotional maturity and depth" of the relationship he needed. He himself realized that he prefers women at least ten years older and considers them more confident and broad-minded: "The same age and younger girls do not help me grow like women of more mature age."

Predator hunting

So research has shown that many men are interested in older women. But how are such relationships created? Contrary to the “predatory” image created by the series of mature women in leopard print looking for their next young lover, many say that the opposite is happening: younger men show interest and initiative.

Melanie Elary says that very few older women consider themselves seductresses, hunting for passive prey. 55 interviews with women aged 30 to 60 who are dating partners younger than themselves showed that ladies prefer a passive role in starting relationships. Elari suggests that cultural beliefs may be stopping them from "violating the gender script".

All ages are submissive to love

Brian Collison and Luciana Ponde le Leon in 2018 tried to find out why society condemns relationships of unequal age, and identified the main reason. According to the theory of evolution, the union of a young woman and a slightly older man is most fruitful in terms of reproduction and maintaining resources for the survival of the family. Therefore, atypical couples, especially if the partner is younger, are perceived as a challenge to the stable, traditional principle of building a family.

But in fact, it turns out that some men meet women of mature age because they perceive relationships with them as equal, close. In real life, there are many more such couples and they are happier than is commonly believed.

what men fall in love with older women - Moscow 24, 05/19/2017

A wife should be younger than her husband - a stereotype inherited by society from time immemorial. Modern man has to prove that he owes nothing to anyone. Who and why becomes a violator of unspoken laws and associates life with women much older than themselves? Anna Kudryavskaya-Panina talks about this in her column on m24.ru.

Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte Tronier Photo: Zuma/TASS/Panoramic

Last Sunday morning in a hotel in the center of Moscow, where my husband and I were celebrating 10 years since we met, I clicked on the TV channels until my eye caught a bright picture : a solemnly decorated front hall, many men and women in expensive outfits.

An elegant man of about forty walks through the parted crowd. While he is shaking hands and kissing the audience, the camera periodically picks up a slightly stooping blonde in a blue suit. From the back, according to the preserved figure, she can be given thirty, but when the cameraman shows her full face, her age cannot be hidden. Nearby, these two look like mother and son (by the way, his mother is almost the same age as the lady in blue).

But they are husband and wife - Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte Tronier. 39 years old and 64 years old. I'm watching the inauguration of France's youngest president. “Lord, how old she is,” I think and pull myself up on this thought, remembering that she herself is 10 years older than her husband.

There are unspoken social stereotypes that we have absorbed since childhood. One of them - in marriage, a man must certainly be older, well, in extreme cases, the same age. That's how it is, and that's how it should be. Moreover, in my own family there was an example of the opposite: my beloved aunt is five years older than my uncle. As a child, it seemed to me that this couple was something unique. I really didn’t meet others like that: neither among the parents of my friends, nor among other relatives. I was surprised that this, it turns out, still happens, and that my beautiful aunt certainly looks no older, or even younger than her uncle. Cognitive Dissonance: It shouldn't be like this, but it is. And even it seems that this is normal. Moreover, it no longer seems that it should not be so.

Now, a difference of five years in favor of a woman is not surprising, and this is no longer considered a difference. Increasingly, there are families where the wife is ten, fifteen, even twenty or more years older. The end of the twentieth century and the beginning of the twenty-first broke this stereotype. Now marriage, where a woman is older and much older, is no longer considered the privilege of exclusively representatives of bohemia such as Isadora Duncan and Yesenin, Salvador Dali and Gala and ... Pugacheva and Galkin.

In general, if we proceed from the average life expectancy in Russia - for men it is 66 years, and for women 77 - then marriage, when a woman is 10-11 years older, is ideal in order to live happily ever after and die in one day.

Alla Pugacheva and Maxim Galkin Photo: TASS/Sergey Vinogradov

Jokes aside, but all sorts of men (including future presidents) fall in love and decide to connect their lives with women who are fit to be their older sisters, and sometimes mothers. The question is why. And one more question - why, in fact, do mature women choose youths as life partners?

The most unpleasant and tough answer for both parties is as follows: the first - infantile sissies - are looking for a wife-mother, and the second realize an unrealized maternal instinct. Well, yes, here you can still remember the Oedipus complex, sexual attraction to the mother in post-puberty, transforming into an interest in adult women. Yes, no one has canceled psychology, but still, sometimes a banana is just a banana. I'm sure such marriages exist: infantile boys, always driven, are looking for women who like to "sculpt" their husbands out of them. And if these types find each other and are happy, then, many years to them, bitterly and other advice and love.

But this is definitely not the only option, if only because infantiles are unlikely to become presidents. And the difference between the same Macron and his wife is more than 24 years. Psychologists believe that ambitious men enter into such unequal age marriages because they are looking for in their wife not only a girlfriend and lover, but also a mentor, with whom they will even more confidently follow the path of implementing their Napoleonic plans.
There is also such a type of men - early maturing psychologically. And at the age of 20–25, they are simply not interested in peers, and even more so very young nymphs with their ideas about life, hobbies and cockroaches that densely inhabit beautiful heads.

Salvador Dali and Gala Dali Photo: AP/Jack Kanthal

Evil tongues call such young people gerontophiles and speak sarcastically about cellulite, wrinkles, sagging breasts and flabby buttocks and, in general, not a young body of their chosen ones. There is something to argue with: now often women aged 30 to 50 can give odds to twenty-year-olds in terms of grooming, curvy figure and smartness. Partly because they are actively working on what in youth is perceived as given once and for all. And even if everything is so - and the chest sagged, and cellulite, and wrinkles are available and in assortment - then let's get back to the fact that men who have made such a choice are psychologically mature, which means they are able to love a woman not only and not so much for elastic buttocks.

What about women? Why do they - accomplished, with pumped up and not very priests, who know the value of a lot in life and probably burned themselves more than once - enter into these relationships? As my friend sarcastically remarked about the affair of our mutual acquaintance in her early forties with a twenty-year-old gentleman: "I wanted young meat." This, of course, is rude and vulgar. But in fact, everything is much simpler: these women just feel young.

As another friend of mine commented on her age: "What forty, when the wind is high?!" Another option is that they simply do not feel the difference in age. For example, sometimes it seems to me that in our family it’s definitely not me who is older.

When I was about to get married a second time, I often heard questions or just bewildered comments about the age of my future husband. And then a universal phrase was born to me, which explains a lot for me, including the reason why we are together: "You can be a man at twenty, but you can be a boy at fifty." And since you can’t argue with this, after this phrase no one pestered me with questions.

Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte Tronier Photo: AP/Christophe Ena

Marriages known to me, where the woman is older, are quite strong. The same Macron with his Brigitte has been legally married for 10 years. How long did he wait for her to get divorced? In these families, they quietly joke about age - and both spouses. Yes, there are pitfalls, of course there are. If the age gap is too large or the partners met late, there is a chance that they will not have common children. And the difference of 20 years cannot be hidden when the wife is already 60, and the husband is only 40.

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