Young girls attracted to older men

Why Younger Women Find Older Men Attractive (Is She Attracted To You?)

It's time to admit it: you're not as young as you used to be. But that doesn't mean you're past your dating prime! In fact, it's becoming pretty common to see older men with younger women

The statistics speak for themselves. An incredible 56% of women state they prefer to date a guy older than them – and 45% of those women want their man to be between 5 and 15 years older than they are!

Those are some pretty good odds. But to make a safe bet, you need to learn a bit of female psychology. Get in the know, and who knows who you'll be dating this time next week!

As ever, it's my job to bring you guys up to speed. So, in today's article, we'll be covering:

  1. What Attracts Younger Women To Older men?
  2. Why Date A Younger Women?
  3. How Do You Tell If A Younger Woman Is Interested In You?
  4. What Are The Disadvantages Of Dating Younger Women?


What Attracts Younger Women To Older men?

Summarizing everything that younger women love in older guys would take hours. However, there are some stand-out characteristics that we middle-aged guys possess over younger men, which the fairer sex finds absolutely irresistible.

Like a well-aged wine or classic car, there are certain things we can provide that the latest model never could.

Class and Maturity In Older Men

We've been through our crazy 20s and came out the other side. Wild all-nighters, booze-fueled partying, and risky business isn't our deal anymore. Been there, done it, and earned the t-shirt as proof.

Do you really think women find wild-card 20-something-year-olds attractive? For a quick fling, maybe. But for true maturity and stability, who do you think they look to? You guessed it – us mature fellas!

In short, a slightly older man provides a level of maturity that younger guys just can't. They'll get there eventually, but while they catch up, we can reap the benefits of our years of experience.

Older Guys Can Look After Themselves

Do you think I still ask my parents for money or need their help doing my laundry or fixing a shelf? Of course not!

I'm guessing most of you guys are the same. You've had a family you needed to support, which means you had to learn specific skills to be a successful man. After a while, you pick things up pretty quickly and become the guy your family comes to for advice, support, and help.

Can you see why that would be attractive to a 30-year-old woman looking to start a family of her own? She has a choice, date a younger guy who doesn't know his butt from his elbow when it comes to DIY or date an experienced man who knows how to fix her problems without the help of his parents.

It's a pretty easy choice for her to make, let's be honest!

Older Guys Are More Romantic

I'll be honest – when I was in my 20s, I cared a lot about what my friends thought of me. If I showed my romantic side in front of any of my guys in the marines, they would tease me about it for weeks.

It's the same for most younger guys. They think that you can't be manly and romantic at the same time. Unfortunately, this often leads to them not treating their girl right and pushing her away.

As a middle-aged guy, I know this from first-hand experience – as do most older men. That very fact makes older men incredibly attractive to younger women. No woman wants a man who plays games and makes her feel unloved. Date a 20-year-old, and she risks being treated like an afterthought whenever her man's friends are in town. Date a 40-year-old, and she pretty much guarantees love and respect regardless of who's in the room.

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#2. Why Date A Younger Women As An Older Man?

So with all this talk of maturity, why would a guy want to date a younger woman? Won't she be just as immature as a younger guy?

Actually, no.

A study conducted in Britain found that men don't reach complete emotional maturity until they're in their 40s, while women reach it by 30! That means a younger woman's maturity should match yours, provided she's around 30.

This actually explains why women prefer to date older guys – it's far more likely to be an equally mature relationship.

Of course, there's also the benefit of dating a woman who still has a younger person's energy and an open mind. Both men and women can begin to lose their enthusiasm as they grow older, so if you're an adventurous kind of guy, dating a younger woman may be a great way to find someone who matches your energy levels.

#3. How Do You Tell A Younger Woman Is Interested In You?

The fact is, telling if a woman is interested in you isn't the easiest thing in the world. At the end of the day, every woman is different and will act differently toward the men she has an attraction to.

However, there are certainly some general signs to look out for that will help you get a better idea of how a younger woman feels about you as an older man.

She Always Asks For Your Help

I'll preface this one with a warning: sometimes a woman just wants you to help her! There isn't always a romantic intention behind this.

However, if a young woman regularly asks for your help with tasks that show your value as a man – for example, DIY or demonstrations of strength – then she may be interested in you romantically.

The best way of telling is whether or not she seems like she could have done the task herself. If she seems like she's asking you to get your attention rather than because she genuinely needs help, then your luck might just be in!

She Laughs At Your Jokes

You're a funny guy. But you're not THAT funny.

If you've been talking to a young woman for a while and she consistently laughs at your jokes, this could be a sign that she is into you romantically.

Once again, proceed with caution. Laughter does not equate to lust and isn't a sign she's ready to jump in the sack with you. However, it does show that she finds you endearing and a joy to be around.

Laughter is a great starting point for attraction – the other stuff can develop from this if it becomes clear that she sees you as more than a friend, colleague, or acquaintance.

Bide your time, tell a few unfunny jokes to see if she still laughs, and start a conversation about your feelings when the time is right!

She Touches You For No Reason

Touching people isn't a normal thing to do in social settings. In fact, many people get weirded out by the idea of touching others.

So if a woman goes out of her way to touch your arm or gently nudge you, then that's a pretty good sign that she has some kind of feeling towards you.

Again, this does not mean she's guaranteed to be romantically obsessed with you. However, it's a great sign that she's comfortable around you and feels that she's on a level with you where she can get physical.

Usually, this gesture will be coupled with another one of the above. She may laugh at your joke and give you a nudge on the bicep. She might put her hand on your forearm when asking for your help.

Either way, it's always worth taking note of. If it starts happening regularly, chances are you've got a good chance at romance.

She Tells Her Friends About You

You'll know things are serious when all of her friends know about you. If you're getting friendly with a younger woman and all of a sudden her friends seem to know a lot about you, chances are you're in luck and can start to consider taking things to the next level.

Of course, the things her friends know should be GOOD things. If all her friends know about your annoying habits and personal issues, then you could be in a tricky situation. Not only does this show she's complaining about you to her friends, but it also shows she doesn't respect your privacy.

On the other hand, if her friends know about you and the positive aspects of your life, then your soon-to-be younger partner has been telling them all the things she likes about you!

#4. The Disadvantages Of Dating Younger Women As An Older Man

Sorry to burst your bubble, gents, but as with anything good thing in life, there are downsides to older men dating younger women.

Regardless of maturity levels and romantic connections, two people at different stages in life will have different priorities and desires. That's a simple far – and it's unavoidable. Not that any of these things are reasons to rule out dating younger women, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't make you aware of the cons as well as the pros!

Wanting A Family

This may not be considered a negative thing for some guys. But for other guys who have kids to love and care for, dating a younger woman who wants to start a family may be tricky.

It's natural for young women to want to start a family – so when they look for a romantic partner, your potential as a father will come into play. In fact, it may be your experience as a great dad that makes you attractive to her!

In this instance, honesty is the best policy. If you're not open to the idea of kids (or more kids), then tell her. It would be unfair to lead her on, only to break her heart when you tell her the truth about your life priorities.

Prioritizing A Career

Young women are in the prime of life. At the age of 30, it's only natural for someone to want to push themselves to the limit and succeed in their professional lives. We can't blame them for that – we've all been there.

However, you need to consider whether you're still in that place. As an older guy, you may have already built your business or reached your professional goals. Now might be the time that you want to relax and reap the benefits of your hard work with the lady in your life.

Becoming involved with a young career woman might not be the best move if you're that guy. Sure, you can support her with your knowledge and experience, but when it comes to those long weekend getaways and cozy morning dates, a career woman will be far too busy developing professionally.

Other People Will Judge You

It's ridiculous that I even have to include this – but here goes.

Some people will judge older men dating younger women. It's a sad fact of life that you'll have to accept when dating a younger woman.

An age difference should not affect two people's feelings towards one another. It shouldn't stop you from developing a relationship with a great woman! However, if you're the type of guy who can't cope with a bit of judgment here and there, be careful when dating a woman younger than you.

The last thing you want is to become ashamed of yourself and your partner and start to push her away as a result. No woman deserves that.

Making Your Kids Uncomfortable

This might sound a bit weird, but dating a younger woman could put your kids in an awkward situation.

Chances are, if you're in your 50s, you've got kids who are approaching their 20s. They're becoming adults and see the world in a different way than younger children.

When they see their 50-year-old father dating a woman closer to their age than his, they might start asking questions (especially if their mom is still around!) You could find yourself in a position where you have to explain your dating habits to your children – which can get pretty awkward pretty quickly.

The best way to tackle this situation? Be open and honest from the start.

Don't try and hide the facts from your kids and introduce them to your new partner as soon as the time feels right. Holding off and hiding your relationships from them is only going to end in upset and sour feelings.

Attracting women isn't easy, but I've got some killer advice to help you land that next big date. Click here to discover the 5 signs that she's DEFINITELY into you.

11 Things That Attract A Younger Woman To An Older Man

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Have you ever been attracted to an older man? Suddenly your friend’s father or his/her older brother or even your college professor seems like a forbidden fruit you want to indulge in. When you see Milind Soman, you can’t stop drooling over this silver fox and his mature personality. Young woman-older man relationships are common nowadays, especially among celebrities. From George Clooney and Amal Clooney, Hillary Burton and Dave Morgan, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively to Beyoncé and Jay-Z, so many celebrities have been in marriages with a huge age difference. So, what attracts a younger woman to an older man? Let’s find out.

According to a study conducted by Sara Skentelbery and Darren Fowler of St. Mary’s University (Halifax), women who date older men are looking for father figures. There’s a possibility that they were neglected by their fathers as children and are looking to compensate for that through the attention from older men. The study also says that older men come with the financial security that women often look for. On the other hand, when older men seek younger women as romantic partners, the fertility of their potential partners could be a subconscious factor at play. Whatever the reason, younger women’s attraction to older men cannot be denied.

If you often think, “Why do I like guys older than me? Why am I sexually attracted to older men?”, there could be a host of reasons at play. Which brings the question of what really attracts a younger woman to an older man into the spotlight. Studies on women often prefer older men often attribute it to both psychological and evolutionary parameters.

A Swedish study, for instance, attributes attraction to older men among younger men to differences in partner preferences. Men are more concerned with traits that predict high fertility in a potential partner and women with traits that indicate high resource availability. This once pattern is rooted in our primal needs for security and procreation, and offers a pretty straightforward answer to why do young women like older men.

While there is enough scientific evidence to validate this hypothesis, you can find the answer to do younger women like older men just by looking around. May-December relationships (where one partner is much younger than another partner) are becoming more and more common these days, making it clear as day that the attraction between younger women and older men is irrefutable. Besides, there is a growing acceptance for such relationships now. Not many people bat an eyelid seeing a young woman and older man with salt-and-pepper hair. In fact, there is something really attractive about this kind of pairing.

11 Things That Attract A Younger Woman To An Older Man

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So why would a younger woman choose an older man? Hollywood actress Catherine Zeta Jones, who married 25-year-older Michael Douglas, had a love at first sight kind of love story. Michael Douglas in an interview said, “Thirty minutes after meeting her I said you will be the mother of my children.

Seems Catherine was instantly convinced. Jones and Douglas have a son and daughter now. Their marriage that’s seen its ups and downs, and perhaps even a fair share of older man younger woman relationship issues, but they have been going strong. From the world of celebrities to people around us, we can find enough examples of attraction to older men among younger women.

But the question that still continues to baffle many is why. The “what does she see in him?” bafflement. So, what do younger women look for in older men? Are they just sexually attracted to older men or it is something more? The attraction between older men and younger women sets off some obvious sparks which are hard to resist.

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Sometimes it’s just sexual attraction while there are times that it turns out into something more meaningful. Whether or not the relationship is meaningful or sexual, purely depends on compatibility and differs from person to person. Here are 11 things that attract a younger woman to an older man. When you actually fall in love, age is just a number.

1. They are more responsible and mature

Older men understand their problems because of their maturity levels

We can all agree that a lot of young men act like grown-up kids or like a man child, as they’re popularly known. They run away from responsibilities and maturity is something you can’t expect from them. Many times, women find men of their age to lack a sense of responsibility. As women become financially independent, they may have less and less patience to deal with men who refuse to grow up.

They may tire of doing all the work and seek someone responsible and will be an equal partner in the relationship instead of being a liability. Women feel that older men would still be able to understand their problems because of their maturity levels. Women mature faster than men and seek someone to match their level of maturity. Older men are more responsible which makes them ideal for such women.

Related Reading: Dating An Older Man In Your 20s – 15 Things To Seriously Think About

2. A sense of security

Why do younger women like older men? Older men provide a sense of security, which is an essential criterion for a happy and healthy relationship. Most of the time, older men are more accomplished in life. As they reach the peak of their career trajectory, they acquire assets to secure their future. Apart from financial security, older men are also more emotionally secure and mature.

Women seek this well-rounded sense of security to be able to build a drama-free relationship, especially when they are thinking of settling down. They feel more comfortable knowing that their future is secure with such a person. What attracts a younger woman to an older man is they are at that stage of their life where they have their assets and investments in place. The most attractive age for a man is mid 30s or early 40s when he has a stable income, looks and libido on his side.

3. They are more experienced

Older men have played the field longer and are more experienced in navigating relationships and understanding the needs, desires and expectations of their partner. Their experience with women makes them adept in understanding women. They can deal with a woman’s mood swings and can also comfort them with the right words and actions.

Younger women feel more comfortable with older men because they know they can lean on their partners for support when needed. An older man, wise from years of experience, knows what to say when to comfort his partner and uplift her spirits when she feels low.

While older man younger woman relationship issues exist, there is also scope for greater emotional intimacy in such a connection. Also, older men tend to handle adverse situations better, they do not jump to conclusions, and are calm and reasonable. A younger woman finds an older man a reassuring presence in her life.

Related Reading: 8 Ways To Cultivate Emotional Safety In Your Relationship


The daddy issues

What fuels attraction to older men among younger women? One probable reason for this can be daddy issues. Women who have complicated relationships with their father tend to get easily attracted to older men. They seek in their partners the attributes that their father lacked or a relationship dynamic that is more fulfilling than the one they share with their fathers.

An older man perfectly fits the bill of someone who understands her like her father didn’t. On the other hand, younger women may seek an older man who is a spitting image of her father’s personality, and may get into a relationship hoping for a better equation than she shared with her father. This is, basically, a way of reliving the experiences she has had with her father and hoping for a different outcome – a tendency commonly seen in women who grow up around emotionally withholding fathers.

Whatever the subconscious trigger, the bottom line is that women who are attracted to older men seek a mentor, a friend and someone to give them advice. In the process, these younger women get attracted to the wisdom and maturity of older men and fall for them. They want to be protected, sheltered, taken care of and that is what drives a younger woman toward an older man.

5. They know what they want in life

If you ask a guy of your age what he wants in life, he will either stare at you with a blank expression or may give you an immature answer like, “Playing video games all my life” or “Nothing but sleep”. An older man will have a more insightful response to the same question. He may talk about his ambitions, career objectives, future prospects, goals, and values.

This clarity and maturity is one the primary reasons behind young women’s attraction to older men. Older men are driven by goals and direction, which is what makes younger women get attracted to them. This is because women are usually more mature than men and they look for someone who would match their level of maturity and can meet their emotional needs in a relationship.

This maturity is also what helps age-gap couples navigate through the older man younger woman relationship issues they may encounter along the way.

6. Their mysterious aura

Sexy older men have this sense of mysteriousness about them. The nonchalance in their demeanor, the look of seriousness on their face suggests that there’s something deeper to their personalities and you can’t help but want to know more about their story. This aura of mysteriousness can be a major trigger for the attraction a younger woman may feel toward an older man.

The less an older man talks about himself, the more you want to know about him. The equation seems something straight out of a rom-com, where a younger woman may feel as if she is the one who can get the older man to let in guard down, breach the walls he has erected around his heart and bring happiness back into his life again. A man who has lived his life has stories of adventures and struggles, of failures and success to tell, and that can be mesmerizing to a young woman.

7. They are more understanding

Older men are typically more understanding than younger men. They know better than to sweat the small stuff and don’t make mountains out of molehill. Older men also tend to be more patient in relationships and try to get to the root of the problem and resolve the issue rather than playing the blame game.

Their conflict resolution skills are exceptional. They keep their calm and will try to understand you first before jumping to conclusions. Women find this attractive because they feel like older men understand their feelings, value their emotions and know how to respect them.

Older men know how to choose their battles and would not let unpleasantness seep into the relationship over small issues. They abhor petty fights, owing to which a relationship with them could prove to be strong and peaceful.

Related Reading: 8 Relationship Problems Faced By Couples With Huge Age Difference

8. They aren’t afraid of commitment

Younger men often reflect signs of commitment issues in a relationship and dealing with them can be an extremely emotionally draining experience. Younger women eventually get tired of heartbreaks and look for someone who isn’t going to get cold feet at the first hint of commitment or avoid the “where is this going” conversation like the plague.

By contrast, older men can seem like the perfect match because they are at a stage of life where they are not afraid of taking the leap toward building a meaningful long-term relationship and even settling down with the person they love. They aren’t afraid of commitment, which makes a younger woman feel more secure in the relationship as she can rest assured that this is not going to end up to be another fling.

Younger women feel that being with an older man can free them from the vicious cycle of heartbreak and heartache. But can an older man love a younger woman? Yes, with all his heart. That’s why some younger women older man love stories are so successful.

9. They make a good parent material

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Why do young women like older men? One of the many reasons for the palpable attraction between the two is that older men are poised to be better parents. If it’s the case of a younger woman dating a single dad, watching her man take care of his children can reassure her that he is capable of being a good parent, should they choose to cross that bridge as a couple.

Even if he is not a parent, the emotional maturity and financial security of an older man is enough to assure a woman that he is prepared to tackle the challenges of parenting if and when they decide to raise a family together. An older man is more likely to share the load of parenting with his partner, making the journey more fruitful and less challenging.

This is one of the reasons why despite all the potential older man younger woman relationship issues, there is a magnetic attraction between the two. When they come together as a couple, they can successfully navigate whatever challenges life throws their way.

Related Reading: 10 Must Watch Younger Man Older Woman Relationship Movies

10. They are good in bed

Another reason why older men trump their younger counterparts as potential mates is the experience they have with women. Having been through the rigmarole of dating and relationships in the heydays, older men are more experienced in bed and know how to satisfy a woman sexually. They understand that good sex is not only about their own needs but also that of their partner.

The palpable sexual chemistry between an older man and a younger woman is what ignites a spark of passion between them. It’s hard for the spark to not go off when you’re dating an older man. If you always think, “Why am I sexually attracted to older men?”, the reason is that they know their way around a woman’s body and can make you experience levels of pleasure you didn’t know was possible.

11. The heart wants what it wants

Sometimes a younger woman dating an older man has nothing to do with his age. We say that love is blind and the heart wants what it wants. After all, there is no set age difference for a great marriage. Sometimes it’s just compatibility and understanding that just makes them click.

Cupid can strike anywhere and at any time. It can bring two totally opposite people together, even if they have a huge age gap. For people whose age isn’t a factor, a huge age gap doesn’t make a difference.

Key Pointers

  • Attraction between younger women and older men is both a psychological and evolutionary phenomenon
  • The maturity, stability and security that an older man has to offer is exactly what a younger woman seeks in a relationship
  • Despite potential older man younger woman relationship issues, couples can build a lasting bond

Can an older man love a younger woman? How does it feel like dating older men? Dating an older man will make you feel that you’ve finally found someone who wants the same thing as you. However, there are some important things that you need to think about. Will this person be able to handle your immaturity or will he treat you like a child? What are his plans for children? Where do you see your future with him? You need these questions answered as you don’t want to end up like Monica Geller who had to leave Richard because he didn’t want kids.


1. Do younger women like older men?

Yes, younger women tend to like older men more than men their own age. Several studies on women often prefer older men tie this tendency to both psychological and evolutionary factors. The bottom line is that older men can offer younger women more stable and secure relationships, that’s why they tend to gravitate toward each other.

2. What do you call a younger girl who likes older guys?

A younger girl who likes older men is known as a gerontophile or gerontosexual. In common parlance, just as the woman who likes younger guys is called a cougar, a younger girl who likes older men is called a panther. However, such labels and stereotypes are never in good taste, a relationship is a relationship, irrespective of the age, race, or sexuality of the people in it.

3. What is it called when an older man dates a younger woman?

A relationship involving an older man and younger woman or vice versa is known as a May-December romance.

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20-year-old girls explained why they like mature men

Scientists from the University of Colorado tried to decipher the phenomenon of relationships between young girls and mature men - and found that such romances are involved not only in sex and money. To verify this, Gazeta.Ru talked to 20-year-old girls who met with accomplished people and talked about why today no one is embarrassed by “over 30”.

To denote the relationship between a young girl and an adult man, it is often customary to use the offensive English wording "sugar daddy", which is translated into Russian by the equally unpleasant word "daddy". This type of relationship suggests that a woman is at least financially dependent on a man - it is also believed that a man raises his self-esteem by having an affair with a pretty young girl. nine0003

Researchers said this week that there's more to daddy relationships with young women than the simple exchange of money for sex. Maren Skull, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Colorado, Denver, said that the few US scientists who have tried to find a scientific justification for this phenomenon "most often describe it as a type of prostitution." Her own analysis was carried out on the basis of 48 interviews with various respondents, and in the end it became clear that such relationships can be very diverse and often tied to various psychological and physical reasons. nine0003

The idea that girls who have just come of age actually trade sexual contact for goods and money is outdated by Skull.

To test the researcher's calculations, Gazeta.Ru discussed relationships with a noticeable age difference with young girls for whom the security of an older partner was not a key factor. Muscovites in the age category under 25 talked about what attracts them to relationships with men over 30 and about how mature men are better than their peers. nine0003

The interest of one of the interlocutors of the publication “in particular to men” is almost of a sporting nature. According to her, dating people 10-15 years older than you is a special skill: it’s easy to communicate with your peers because you think the same way, but it’s quite another thing to “get the attention of an older person who knows more than you, interest him and support him. the level of communication is at its bar.”

Another 22-year-old Muscovite is dating a 31-year-old man and says that she always had a goal of dating someone more experienced, because they "are not old yet, but they already know something. " And peers at the university and at various events after that do not attract the girl at all. nine0003

Muscovite Anait is 24 years old, and her boyfriend Tigran is 30. She says that her previous boyfriend was two years older than her, and there is a difference. “Next to Tigran, I feel much safer, there are global topics for communication. Since we are Armenians, we don’t have a sexual life before marriage, so I can’t share anything here yet, but I think that there are no reasons for concern.”

Anahit notes that her lover had no problems communicating with her parents because of a small age difference. “He is 15 years younger than his mother, and 18 years younger than his father. Therefore, he calmly communicates with them on“ you ”, addresses them by name and they consider him not a child, but equal to themselves,” the girl noted. She also stressed that the man was the first to whom she wanted to "obey, trust his views, life experience and so on." According to Anahit, the only disadvantage in more serious communication with an adult man is his elderly mother and father: "old school". nine0003

Everyone interviewed by Gazeta.Ru noted the broader horizons and determination of mature lovers and made unflattering comparisons with young people under 30 who "do not know what they want." It is significant that all the interlocutors of Gazeta.Ru resorted to the last wording.

The story of 22-year-old Kristine's parents, who also had a big age difference with her lover, gives a slightly different view on the topic, although the girl herself considers the beginning of a relationship a little “mercantile”. “My mother was 16, he was in his 30s. My mother said that she came out from somewhere, and he was standing in a tracksuit next to a sports car, and this attracted her attention.” Today, the girl is firmly convinced that her father performed a parental function for her mother: “After 23 years and after 10 years of their life together, I can say that it was he who raised her.” nine0003

“The manner of communication, behavior, statements, attitude towards oneself and other people are absolutely identical, they almost call people names with the same words,” Kristine explained and added that her mother still denies this.

For 21-year-old Arina, a man who is over 30 is, first of all, a person whose life experience allows him not to say “obvious things” aloud, because he, guided by his knowledge, can draw correct conclusions .

In general, young women who have had experience of relationships with mature men agree that such a romance is a valuable and pleasant life experience that helps to develop, on the one hand, and relieve themselves of responsibility for their lives, on the other . nine0003

“I was in a relationship with a 34-year-old man, and it was probably one of the most pleasant experiences in my life, because with no one else did I manage to feel like such a little princess, whose problems automatically fall on the shoulders of a strong person."

The girl emphasized that the sense of security that the companion provided made it possible to understand that he was not going to assert himself at her expense, as was the case in previous and subsequent relationships. However, complexes and unresolved psychological problems do not have an expiration date, so she was probably just lucky. nine0003

Another girl, Alexandra, admitted that this experience was a new starting point for her. “You finally see how your relationships with men should be arranged, and this is not that eternal nightmare when you both do not understand what is happening,” she said.

In conclusion, the girl said that these healthy relationships increase self-esteem, which in turn allows you to move on with a completely different attitude towards love and life in general.

Today, many representatives of generation Z quite calmly choose people at least 10 years older, and here you can argue that most of them grew up with parents who survived a divorce - and they lack the father figure. But one fact is indisputable - when the door is opened to you, not because you cannot do it yourself, but purely out of habit, it is easy to get used to this, like any good thing. From all of the above, the conclusion follows that if a girl is not embarrassed by a small amount of gray hair, then the position of young competitors, whose emotional solvency and financial capabilities can be called into question, is, to put it mildly, unenviable. nine0003

When a woman chooses a much older man: what does it mean?

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Man and womanKnow thyself

Everyone remembers from school days that girls develop faster than boys physiologically and, as a result, psychologically. While classmates awkwardly pull their pigtails and defiantly communicate only with each other, a good half of the girls are drowning in romantic dreams about Serezha from 11 "A".

This trend persists until about 23-25 ​​years old: peers are not very interesting, and girls choose older men. However, when the age difference is 10, 15, or even 20 years, the reason lies not only in physiology. nine0003

According to Freud

Sigmund Freud also wrote that parents become prototypes of the partners we choose. Boys fall in love with girls who look like their mother, girls fall in love with men who look like their father.

Many women instinctively look for older men because they did not receive father's love, care and attention in childhood. There are many options, but perhaps they were not told in childhood: “I love you” or “You are my princess.” Or maybe the woman grew up in an incomplete family, where for some reason there was no father. nine0003

Another sad story, when the father was physically present, but emotionally he was not. A prime example is alcoholism. You cannot rely on such a father and get support. At the moment when he is most needed, he goes on a binge. And the girl is desperately looking for love, understanding and care from others and most often does not find it.

Fear of separation from parents

When a woman has not achieved full autonomy from her parents, she seeks to return to this relationship. She is afraid to lose the parent-child connection forever. It is cozy in the parental nest and I want the man nearby to become a senior comrade or guardian who will provide financially and help morally. Such a woman cannot (and more often does not want to) solve financial issues on her own and feels uncomfortable without support. She is very afraid of being alone. nine0003

Family scripts

Children are unconsciously passed on generic life scripts that are reproduced from generation to generation. A striking example is when all women in the family are unlucky with their husbands: they drink, beat or gamble, but their hands are “golden”. And women endure, raise children and pass this script on to their daughters.

In such cases, they say that it is “written by birth”. And if “it is written in the family” for a man in a couple to be older than a woman, he, obviously, will die earlier. And the woman will need to cope with this situation, survive it psychologically. nine0003


A man chooses a woman younger than himself also for a reason.

These relationships are often based on inequality, since parent and child are, by definition, unequal. The reverse side of security and comfort is the dominance of a man, in which a woman has to sacrifice her own "I", push it into the background.

A man can consider a woman as a material from which he molds an ideal partner. He can be annoying with constant instructions and moralizing. Considering himself more experienced and wise, he will single-handedly make important decisions for both. nine0003

It is very difficult to get along with such a person. Especially if he is jealous of his young and attractive wife, while he is rapidly aging. Then the desire to limit the communication of the partner with the same age will be added to the moralizing.


At the same time, a mature man is a reliable rear behind which a woman feels good for many reasons:

  • Material benefit. A financially accomplished man is a reliable support for a family, in which a woman can take care of the house, hobbies and raising children without needing anything. nine0086
  • Interesting personality. An adult man is a person who has seen and knows a lot. Of course, it is more interesting with him than with a peer who has not yet decided who he is and what interests him.
  • Emotional support and care. With age, men begin to understand women a little, or at least pretend to. They know how to listen and support in difficult times, which can be difficult for young couples.
  • Reliability. A mature man has already "worked up", he knows what he wants. It is not scary to create a family with him, you can rely on him. nine0086
  • Sexual life. Experienced knows how, how much and what a woman wants, and is not obsessed with her sexual success.


  • Different values ​​and interests. Partners listened to different music in their youth, read different books, watched different films. On the one hand, this can be a problem, on the other hand, on the contrary, it increases interest in each other.
  • Unflattering comparison with previous wives and partners. There is a risk of getting taunts about culinary abilities, habits, skills. The main thing here is to gently but firmly make it clear that you are you. What he was used to was left in the past, with which he himself decided to part. nine0086
  • Reluctance to have children. He has children from previous marriages and wants no more. He, as they say, "ate" and wants to live for his own pleasure, while the young woman is ripe for the family.
  • Disharmony in activity. An ideal weekend for a man is at home on the couch, and his partner misses skiing. Here it is important to negotiate, find compromises and spend leisure time both together and separately from each other. For example, one weekend you stay at home, the second you spend in nature, the third - the husband lies on the couch, and the wife goes skiing with her friend. nine0086

The chances of a long-term relationship

If the parent-child relationship suits both, the chances of the couple staying together are high. What is important is not the age difference as such, but how old each of the partners is. With age, we better understand who we need, learn to build relationships, discuss problems, instead of slamming the door, and try to be more condescending to each other's shortcomings.

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