Why am i always distracted

Distractibility or ADHD? How to Tell the Difference

Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m so ADHD,” describing being easily distracted? Although stereotypes suggest that difficulty focusing must mean you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), distractibility and ADHD are two very different things.

In most cases, being easily distracted is nothing to be concerned about. It could be a sign that you’re tired or simply bored. Moreover, it’s just one of many potential symptoms of ADHD, which in fact is not that common: The American Psychiatric Association (APA) estimates that only about 8.4 percent of children and 2.5 percent of adults in the United States actually have ADHD. Read on to learn more about distractibility and when it might be a sign that professional help is warranted.

What Does It Mean to Be Easily Distracted?

Potential distractions are everywhere in a world in which we’re often bombarded with emails, texts, and social media notifications throughout the day. “It is hard to set healthy boundaries with time that allows the brain to decompress, rest, and restore to reduce distractibility,” says licensed clinical mental health counselor Amelia Kelley, PhD, of Kelley Counseling and Wellness in Cary, North Carolina.

What’s more, being easily distracted can differ from person to person. Some experience frequent internal distractions; they may feel anxious, dwell on certain thoughts, or worry about their to-do list. Others are more prone to external distractions; they may find it hard to stay focused on one task because it reminds them of another, unrelated task, explains Kara Naylon, PhD, a neuropsychologist at LifeStance Health in Boston. Both forms of distraction are normal and happen to everyone at one point or another.

Other common causes of distractibility, says Dr. Kelley, include:

Parenting, especially when more than one child needs attention. Needing to stay focused on their needs can lead you to misplace important items like your keys, forget other important tasks, or make you late to appointments.
Struggling to focus on work projects when you’re working from home. It’s easy to turn your attention to nonwork-related tasks, especially if other family members are also at home while you’re on the clock.
Everyday stress. It’s easy to turn your attention away from the task at hand or forget about prior commitments when you’re preoccupied by other responsibilities or stressors such as fatigue, money problems, family conflicts, or illnesses.

What Does It Mean to Have ADHD?

More often than not, most people — even those who are prone to distractibility — can focus on a work or school project without simultaneously being disrupted by thoughts of what they need to cook for dinner tonight or what book they need to read next, explains Shanna Pearson, who lives with ADHD and is the founder and president of Expert ADHD Coaching, a company that helps adults and college students with ADHD.

In contrast, people who have ADHD have a neurodevelopmental disorder that falls under the same diagnostic category as autism spectrum disorder, intellectual disability, communication disorders, and motor disorders, according to the APA.

“Having ADHD is so much more than being easily distracted,” she says. “It involves a lifetime of living with a brain that isn’t able to easily compartmentalize. Not being able to compartmentalize or create separations between tasks, thoughts, ideas, and outcomes feels like living with everything occurring at the same place and time at once in your mind.”

This results in constant feelings of being overwhelmed for people with ADHD. In turn, these feelings lead to other common ADHD symptoms like impulsivity, says Kelley.

Along with impulsivity, key signs of ADHD include hyperactivity and inattention. Some people with ADHD experience only one of these behaviors as the main issue, while others experience a combination of them. These signs may also show up differently in children than in adults.

Symptoms of ADHD in children may manifest as:

Hyperactivity They may talk excessively, fidget and squirm, or find it hard to sit still.
Impulsivity They may lack self-control, have difficulty being patient or waiting their turn, frequently interrupt others, or overreact to frustration, disappointment, and criticism.
Inattention They may daydream often, become bored easily, not follow through on tasks, or struggle with memory and focus.

Symptoms of ADHD in adults may manifest as:

Hyperactivity In addition to experiencing many of same symptoms seen in children, hyperactivity in adults with ADHD may make it difficult for them to be patient or to relax. It may also make them move around too much, make them talk excessively, lead to outbursts of anger or frustration, or cause them to arrive late to appointments.
Impulsivity This may cause them to act without considering potential consequences, interrupt others inappropriately, change jobs frequently, drive recklessly, or have more marital problems.
Inattention A shorter-than-typical attention span may exhibit as overall disorganization, forgetfulness, trouble prioritizing, careless mistakes, or avoidance of tasks requiring concentration.

Mental health professionals use specific diagnostic criteria outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) to diagnose people with ADHD, per the APA. ADHD symptoms must have been present before age 12 to diagnose an individual with this condition, according to the DSM-5.

Although experts don’t know exactly what causes ADHD, they have identified several factors that likely play a role, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics:

Exposure to alcohol or nicotine in utero
Having a parent or sibling with ADHD
Issues with the parts of the brain that control attention and activity level
Concussions or other serious head injuries
In rare cases, a buildup of environmental toxins, such as lead, in the body can raise the risk of ADHD

How to Tell the Difference Between Distractibility and ADHD

The severity of one’s concentration difficulties and whether they happen along with other symptoms like impulsivity or hyperactivity are often what sets ADHD apart from everyday distractibility, Kelley says.

In general, it’s easier to focus on tasks you enjoy and it’s more challenging to focus on tasks that are difficult or unpleasant. However, people who are easily distracted but don’t have ADHD can almost always consciously refocus and get back on track once they realize they’ve been distracted — especially if they get rid of the distraction, for example, by turning off the television or a cell phone. This is not the case for people with ADHD, says Kelley.

Bottom line: General distractibility doesn’t typically impede one’s ability to go about their day, get important tasks done, or fulfill commitments, Dr. Naylon notes. On the other hand, ADHD typically impairs a person’s functioning, including their ability to work, succeed in school, or maintain personal relationships.

ADHD symptoms also cause a lot of frustration and distress. People who have ADHD feel overwhelmed by their thoughts and environment almost all the time, Pearson says.

“It's the overwhelm that has people with ADHD being easily distracted, disorganized, fidgety, and impulsive, and having more difficulty managing their emotions,” she says.

Management Strategies for ADHD

If you or your child have been diagnosed with ADHD, consulting a mental health professional could be very helpful. Evidence-based treatments for ADHD include psychotherapy (also known as talk therapy), medication, skills training, and educational services, according to Mayo Clinic.

The most commonly prescribed medications for ADHD are prescription stimulants, which, according to the Cleveland Clinic, improve ADHD symptoms in about 70 percent of adults and 70 to 80 percent of children shortly after beginning treatment.

For children with ADHD, Mayo Clinic states, common forms of psychotherapy include:

Behavioral therapy to help parents and teachers learn strategies that can lead to positive behavior changes among children
Social skills therapy in which children learn appropriate behaviors for social settings
Parenting skills training so that parents of children with ADHD can better understand and improve their child’s behavior

Common psychotherapies for adults with ADHD include:

Cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses on strategies to replace negative thinking and behavioral patterns with healthier more productive ones
Marriage or family therapy to learn better ways to communicate and solve problems with an ADHD partner or relative, as well as learn ways to cope with any stress related to the loved one’s condition

Additional Coping Tips for People With — and Without — ADHD

Practice mindfulness. There are types of meditation, but Kelley specifically recommends mindfulness meditation, which can help people with or without ADHD learn to focus on the present moment rather than on what happened yesterday or might happen in the future.
Create to-do lists. “Most people who identify as organized and successful keep some kind of list in order to recall important dates and information,” says Kelley. She suggests keeping your to-do list short — no more than three items — and adding start and stop times for each task.
Write down competing and distracting thoughts. Try jotting them down on a Post-it note or in a notebook and saving them for later. This way, you put them aside until you are done working without worrying that you will forget, explain experts at the Learning Center at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Reduce distractions. “Our environment can either make or break our ability to focus,” says Kelley. “For example, if you are checking your email while also chatting online and watching TV, you are demanding that your brain engage in a division of focus.” She encourages single tasking, also known as monotasking. For instance, if you need to check your email, consider turning off the TV while doing so.
Consulting a professional. You don’t need to have a specific diagnosis to benefit from professional help. Even if you don’t have ADHD, a trained therapist can help you find ways to better manage distractibility.

"Why Am I So Distracted All the Time?"

Do you constantly fall short of any sort of real achievement because you can’t overcome distraction? And then secretly suffer from feelings of depression and hopelessness as a result?

While it can be easy to resign yourself to just being ‘the scattered sort’, or buy into the notion it’s now normal to be distracted because of our new internet lifestyles, there is often a real answer to the question “why am I so distracted?”

Recognising the real reason you can’t focus can be the beginning of gaining clarity of mind and the ability to finally create the life you want.

1. You have Adult ADHD.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often wrongly thought to be something just kids suffer from. Adult ADHD is real and can manifest slightly different symptoms which means sufferers can be overlooked. For example, adults are less likely to struggle with hyperactivity. They are, however, more likely to suffer inattentiveness and poor concentration.

Not everyone who struggles with focus has ADHD, though. While the label of ADHD might fit your desperate desire to put a face to your distraction, self-diagnosing if you don’t really have ADHD might stop you from finding the real reason you can’t focus and thus stop you also finding real solutions that move your life forward.

If you are concerned you have ADHD, it’s best to seek a proper diagnosis. If your doctor seems uneducated on the subject or unwilling to deal with it, consider privately hiring a psychiatrist who specialises in ADHD. It will cost, but not as much as years of distraction can when it comes to your career and finances. Or research if there is an ADHD clinic in your city or nearby – some are covered by national health services.

2. You are not sleeping enough.

By: Conny Liegl

Sleep is in some ways still a mystery, with ongoing studies and new research still coming in. Being tired is obviously bad for anyone’s focus – but why?

A recent study at the University of California on people with sleep apnea – a condition that causes disturbed sleep – made strides on the reasons by linking sleep deprivation with raised cortisol levels. High cortisol levels are known to impair cognitive function.

If you suffer from distraction on a daily basis get honest about whether you are getting enough quality sleep, not just quantity. For example, if you are sleeping eight hours but having a few glasses of wine every night, which is known for disrupting your patterns of sleep, its likely you are not getting as many REM cycles as you need to feel refreshed the next day.

If you are struggling from insomnia and have tried all the advice on how to sleep better, do see your GP. Insomnia can be caused by many things including stress, mild depression, and hormone issues.

3. You are in an unhealthy relationship.

Relationships, even after we’ve had a breakup or heartbreak, can often throw our brain into addictive patterning. They can leave our heads full of obsessive thought patterns that mean we have scant room for clear thinking towards other parts of our life.

And sadly, this sort of unhealthy distraction is easy to not take seriously, because the media promotes ‘crazy love’ as something desirable and exciting. But there’s nothing exciting about living in poverty because you’ve sabotaged a career opportunity due to relationship drama, or having a traffic accident because you are so distracted, or about being emotionally abused or worse.

If you worry you are in an unhealthy relationship, are addicted to another person, or are in a cycle of codependency, it’s important to not just think it will pass but instead seek some form of help. Consider finding support and information in online forums and reading self-help books. If your situation doesn’t improve, see if there is a support group in your area, or seek help from a counsellor or therapist.

4. You suffer from repressed experiences and emotions.

Have you ever tried to hold a beach ball under water? It takes all of your concentration and effort to stop it from popping out again. This can be what it’s like to hide past experiences you are ashamed of or keep down emotions you are afraid of.

Without realising it, all of your attention and energy can be going to repressing whatever it is you have deemed undesirable about yourself and your life experiences.

If you are often tired, have a poor memory when you think about your past, have emotional responses to things in the present that seem over the top, or have repetitive nightmares and panic attacks, it might be that something in your past has occurred that you have repressed that is leaving you always distracted.

Or you might know exactly which past experience has caused you to feel unworthy or damaged in some way, but not realise how much of your energy withholding healing the emotions around the situation is costing you.

While it might be difficult to face your fears and your past, and you might indeed feel worse before you feel better, try to take a long-term vision. Why just get by, when seeing a counsellor or therapist to work through old issues in a safe environment will in the long run lead to more peace of mind as well as energy and focus?

5. You are afraid of success.

Sometimes we choose distractions that keep us away from moving forward because on a certain level we are choosing to sabotage our own success.

There would be reasons you are afraid of success that are keeping you in the pattern. For example, you might on a deep level worry that if you were too successful you’d have less friends, your family would not feel comfortable with you, or everyone would increase their demands on you which would wear you out. Looking at your core beliefs around success is a good starting point.

Do you have troubles concentrating? Have a story to share about how you deal with it, or what you think might be causing it? Post below, we love hearing from you.

Photos by Mike Mozart, Frits Ahlefeldt-Laurvig, Andrew Braithwaite

Edward Hallowell - Why I get distracted read online free

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Edward Hallowell, John Ratey How to Recognize and Deal with Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults and Children

Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.

John J. Ratey, M.D.

DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION

Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood through Adulthood

Scientific editor Nadezhda Nikolskaya

Published with permission from BAROR INTERNATIONAL and Nova Littera SIA

Recommended by Natalia Izergina

* * *

We gratefully dedicate this book to the seven psychiatrists who have shared with us their vivacity of mind and love of work.

They taught us to listen and see.

Doris Mather Benaron, Jules Bemporade, William Beucher, Thomas Gutheil, Leston Havens, Allan Hobson, Irwin Taube - they all gave us so much that it is impossible to express in a short dedication. During the years of teaching at the Boston Massachusetts Mental Health Center, these specialists instilled in us modesty in work, the ability to meet the patient halfway and listen to him. They explained how to establish contact with a person, analyze his sorrows and joys, and look for the very essence of the problem.

We thank them from the bottom of our hearts.

Introduction

In 1994, on the eve of the release of the first edition of Why I Digress, I spoke with Jonathan Galassi, now head of New York publishing house Farrar, Straus and Giroux. We've been friends since high school, graduated from college together. We trust each other with almost all secrets. John, as a publisher, had concerns about my forthcoming book: "No one has heard of Attention Deficit Disorder, so I'm afraid the title will confuse readers." Now that almost two million copies have been sold in English, John and I joke that even the most astute editors make mistakes.

Back in 1994, only a few people had heard of ADD (now it's ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and the name will probably change again soon!). And even those few did not know exactly what it was. Imagination drew hyperactive little boys who interfere with lessons at school, and turn home comfort into chaos. It was believed that this problem occurs exclusively in children, and almost always in boys. The prevailing opinion was that people “grow out” of ADD, and the problem disappears with age. Only a few doctors knew that attention deficit disorder can manifest itself in adults, and women are not immune from it.

I myself learned about ADD in 1981, during my first year in child psychiatry at the Massachusetts Mental Health Center. If I had heard about Attention Deficit Disorder earlier, I would have decided that this is some kind of psychoanalytic concept and that I mean children who have not been given enough attention. But then one of my teachers, Dr. Elsie Freeman, gave us a lecture on ADD.

This lecture changed my life forever. When I listened to Elsie, I understood: she was describing me . Finally, there was an explanation for many features of my thinking and behavior. I always did well in school and college, so no one, including myself, would suspect any learning problems. I knew I was a slow reader, and long ago I came to the conclusion that I had dyslexia[1]. But I never understood why I can come up with different ways to solve problems, why I so often resort to intuition and tend to think outside the box, why I can be impatient and jump to conclusions, where my strange sense of humor came from, etc. I can’t say that my ADD proceeded in the classical form, but the diagnosis itself is not in doubt.

That's when I realized that there are many more people with this disease than experts think. I learned that the problem does not disappear in adulthood. ADHD has become my specialty. I started reading articles on the subject and looking for signs of the syndrome in my patients.

Also, I started talking a lot with John Ratey then. We met in 1979, during our first year of residency at the Massachusetts Mental Health Center, the state hospital that housed the clinical base of Harvard University. John was my senior resident, part mentor, part friend. When I completed my residency and started studying child psychiatry, John and I kept in touch and met once a week to play squash and discuss topics of interest to both of us. Conversations often touched on ADD.

Throughout the 1980s and early 1990s, John and I worked on this problem: we compared case histories, hypothesized about what factors not described in books influence ADD. John also found this syndrome in himself, so it is quite logical that we delved into the topic.

At that time there were no good popular books about ADHD, so I started writing pamphlets and handing them out to my patients. There was so much material accumulated that the notes even lay on the floor in the office. When I wrote about twenty such pamphlets, I realized that it was time to sit down to a book. An increasing number of patients of all ages were seeking help for ADD. And I wanted to write a book for many people with this problem, instead of working with individual patients.

John supported me. We brainstormed, and then I wrote a draft book that was accepted by the publisher. To be honest, I was surprised, because the publishing house was not medical, but the topic was unknown to the general public. I didn't write about diets and recipes, and I didn't even cover common diseases like diabetes or arthritis. The book was about a disease that most people have not heard of.

As I worked on the manuscript, I called John. He always encouraged me when I again began to doubt whether it would be interesting for anyone ? I read a paragraph or two and got his opinion. But most of the book had to be listened to by my wife, Sue. Poor woman! Her task was very difficult: she had to constructively criticize the manuscript and at the same time convince her that what was written was delightful. I was smart enough to deal with my annoyance, take advice, and make corrections to the book.

The first print run sold out quickly because the ADD community was already expecting it. I decided that after that the book would cease to be a novelty and be forgotten about.

But I was wrong.

Elsie Freeman hit me to the bone with her lecture on ADD, and "Why I'm Distracted" amazed the public. People turned out to be ready to see in the symptoms of ADD not moral flaws or evidence of “perversion” and “indiscipline”, but a neurological disease over which a person has no control.

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Are you constantly distracted? Nine tips to help you focus

1. Think about the reason for procrastination

Every time you find yourself mindlessly updating social media, rearranging books on your shelves, or doing something you didn't intend to do, you need to stop and think. Write down how you felt before you got distracted and analyze the situation.

"Don't chalk it up to the modern world, inability to focus, or addiction," says writer Nir Eyal. Something in particular grabbed your attention and distracted you from your real goal. Do not blame yourself for this, the main thing is to identify the distraction and the root cause so that in the future it will be easier to identify and avoid them.

2. Set the timer

Let's imagine a situation: we wake up with the thought that we need to work on an important report or think over a development strategy. However, before you take on a difficult task, there is a desire to be distracted. For example, look at the letters that came during the night.

Don't be tempted to open your e-mail right away. Set a timer for 10 minutes. This time can be used to get back to important tasks, or just wait until the feeling subsides. In most cases, this is enough to resist the temptation to get distracted.

3. Schedule

“You can't call something a distraction if you don't understand what it's distracting you from,” says Eyal. Identify important tasks and make room for them in your schedule. “If you don’t plan your day, someone or something will do it for you,” he adds.

4. Plan the time, not the result

Many people like to make to-do lists, but the lack of clear limits can make you feel overwhelmed. Eyal suggests using a schedule that is limited to 24 hours a day. It needs to record all the tasks for the day: from urgent projects and a strategic plan, to planning dinners or family meetings in Zoom. It also helps to avoid overwork.

5.

Spend less time communicating and more focusing

“If you want to gain a competitive edge in your industry, you need to take the time to think,” says Eyal. E-mail, phone calls, chats with the boss, meetings, spontaneous interactions - all this easily grabs our attention and time. However, it is important to allocate resources for deep reflection as well. Let it be an hour a day or even 20 minutes, the main thing is not to be distracted by anything.

6. Come up with a ritual

If children interfere with concentration, you can use a life hack from Eyal and his wife. When they need to immerse themselves in work or other important tasks, they put on funny hats and the children understand that now it is better not to distract them.

7. Use life hacks to not be distracted by your smartphone

Set your phone to do not disturb while driving, even if you are not driving. This will make it easier to learn not to reply to every message at once.
Change notification settings. Leave access only to the most important applications.
Use programs that will restrict visits to selected sites during business hours. For example, the free app SelfControl.
Plant a virtual tree. The Forest app allows you to set a timer for focused work and plant a virtual tree that will grow while you are not distracted by your phone.

8. Focus on the right things

If you feel like you are easily distracted, make sure you are assessing the situation correctly. Disorganization and scattered attention are not part of our personality, and we can change this. Think about what specifically is bothering you, and how to deal with it.

9. Take your time

It takes time and effort to change your mind about distractions. Do not rush into this, because the changes will not be noticeable immediately. Changing the whole schedule can be quite difficult, so it's best to start with one time slot. For example, you can devote time to hobbies in the morning.

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