Female manipulation techniques

The Power of Female Manipulation: How Women Manipulate Men | by Nicholas Ngatia

It’s 2011, Beyoncé releases, “Who runs the world? (Girls)” I’m sitting there wondering, “What the heck is she talking about?” I was young, but I was told countless times men, like me, run the world and are oppressive bastards. How patriarchy was the worst form of -archy to exist, how God is a woman because of the love given to humanity.

The world has changed somewhat since then, or I see the world through fresh eyes (not because I started wearing glasses, mind you). I noticed the different dynamics that came with being a young adult and a man. I also came across feminists or at least noticed their existence more intently. Some of them are toxic, to be perfectly candid. That’s a story for another day though.

All that is fine, but let’s get to the reason I’m seated here drinking coffee and typing away at my computer. Female manipulation. Female manipulation is a tough subject to explore for many reasons. Women and women-centric films have often gotten a bad rap of portraying women as some sort of demonic seductresses bent on seduction. They frequently portrayed women as alluring creatures of seduction. Much like the mythical Sirens, singing men to their deaths!

In my short time here, I’ve seen women regularly manipulating men to get them to do whatever it is they want. I always ask myself, is this just a waste of time for most men? Do we not realize that a woman will use underhanded tactics to get what she wants? Or do we just not care about all that at the moment? Women are masters of subtle manipulation. They know how to lead men around like dogs on a leash without them ever really knowing it.

man manipulated by a cunning woman to make a proposal

With that in mind, let’s see how women manipulate men into some form of submission. Here’s how to tell when she’s manipulating you:

1. They will compliment you excessively

Everyone wants to be complimented. It’s always that fussy feeling when someone acknowledges your efforts toward something, a nice mushy feeling that you can never get enough of. There’s a limit to the positivity of this. Some women have mastered the art of using that mushy feeling from compliments to get what they want. Whenever there’s something they want you to do for them, they will give you that feeling using their charms, like, “You know John, nobody does the stats reports better than you. I’ve seen nothing like it.” She’s trying to make you do the stats report for her, John.

2. They use your feelings for her against you

This is a classic manipulation tactic. They bring this up, especially when you refuse to do something for them. Women use this template, or shift just slightly, following the form of if you felt this way, you would do this for me. “Dennis, if you really loved me you would get me that lovely Liverpool jersey.” Don’t fall for this trick, Dennis, stand firm.

3. They guilt-trip you

Guilt-tripping is a genuine issue in relationships these days. And it comes to the fore in so many ways that we can’t cover them all here. But with that said, the bottom line is that they make you feel guilty about something and then use that feeling of guilt you have to get what they wanted. Some women bring up past mistakes you made, or remind you of things they’ve done for you, all this making you feel guilty and caving into their demands.

4. They are passive-aggressive

Closely related to guilt-tripping, passive-aggressive behavior can be a powerful tool in a manipulator’s arsenal. Some women use this technique to get you feeling sorry for them or to get you off their backs when you’re confronting them about something. It’s characterized by sulking and backhanded compliments. But when you ask what the problem is, they say they’re fine, which leads to you feeling sorry for them and offering yourself in ways you normally would not. They also procrastinate doing something earlier agreed upon as resistance until you end up doing it yourself.

5. They cry

I know what you’re thinking, “But women are emotional beings. They cried while watching an insurance ad.” That could as well be true. But I’m talking about an insanely convenient outburst of emotion. It’s those moments during a discussion she’s ‘losing’ and suddenly the waterworks start. What grinds my gears is that they’re teaching it to other women too! Most women use this technique to get whatever they want. Men don’t know how to deal with crying women. We just don’t. We do whatever it takes to get it to stop. See how that works? Good. Women know this, and they use it against us whenever they are out of options. It’s their ace in the hole, if you will. The nuclear option.

6. They give you the ‘silent treatment’

This happens to the best of us. That screening of ‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’ you forwent because of that World Cup game of Cameroon v Netherlands you wanted to watch that Friday, and then the long silence you got after notifying her of your plans. Do you remember that? You caved, didn’t you? The silent treatment is basically when the person does not talk to you, and when you talk to them, they don’t respond. Annoying! Women use this manipulation technique to get you to accept a request they made before their silence, and you do whatever they want just to have normal human interaction. Nobody enjoys being ignored, and that’s why it works.

7. They give ultimatums

“If you don’t take me to Mt. Kilimanjaro, I’ll leave you.” Such ultimatums are just manipulative tactics used to put someone in a very uncomfortable position they end up doing exactly what the manipulator wants. Some women go ballistic with this tactic, and it’s usually emotionally manipulative ultimatums. “If you don’t send the money to my mom, I’ll take the kids and leave you. You will never see us again.” That’s a hard spot to wiggle out off, and that leaves little choice but to give in to the “terrorist’s” demands.

8. They use sex

Women so much use this, it baffles me how men haven’t caught up yet. People can make courses out of this tactic, and write books, and even make a few movies too! Anyway, there are two ways this shows itself. One is when a woman withholds sex until you do what they asked you to do. The dry spell hits you hard, you end up doing it anyway. The other way it comes out is through teasing, subtle cues of the ‘reward’ of sex once a task is done. You know those shorts you like, or that skimpy nightdress she got last Christmas? Those are her weapons against you in these situations. She’ll wear these and be like, “Honey, please do the dishes and then come join me in bed.” What your brain registered, “Honey, do the dishes and then come do me.”

Knowing about how manipulation looks like and being on the lookout for the signs in any relationship you’re in is crucial for your wellbeing, as manipulation has dire consequences for the one being manipulated. But knowing is one step in curbing manipulation in your life. It’s important to call out these behaviors early in any engagement.

A few things to do while dealing with manipulation:

· Set clear and healthy boundaries. These will keep you from dancing to the manipulator’s tune and it also spells out consequences if these boundaries are crossed.

· Take time to think before making a decision. Being pressured into answering can lead to deciding something you normally would not agree to. Time out is crucial to avoid this and reduce chances of being coerced into doing something you don’t want to.

· Learn to say ‘NO’ firmly but also diplomatically. This ensures you communicate your desire not to engage while maintaining a workable relationship.

· And if all else fails, then it’s best to remember the chorus from Clash’s song, “Should I stay or Should I Go?” I suggest you maintain your distance from them.

We’ve all been in situations where we’re left holding the short end of the stick due to manipulators using some assortment of tactics to get their way. I hope that this opens our eyes and our minds to the world and gives us some awareness of what being manipulated looks like and ways to cope with the same.

8 Tactics Women Use To Manipulate You

Do you know someone who is in a relationship with a horribly controlling and manipulative woman?

Some guys just blindly enter into relationships with emotionally damaged women, not realizing the danger. And the horny idiots that guys are, we often let ourselves be blinded by a beautiful appearance and the prospect of sex.

Before we start, I want to clarify something.

Most women don't use any of the tactics detailed in this post. Most women are genuinely good human beings who want the same as we do – a relationship built upon trust and respect for each other.

There are also some bad apples just as there are more than enough bad apples among men, so please take the following with a grain of salt.

All right, let's jump right in.

1. Attrition

After the first few months, which will be awesome to lure you in, she will start to complain about little things here and there. No biggie, you think, that's something you can live with. But she slowly increases the frequency and intensity of the complaints.

It's like wanting to cook a frog in water. Throw him into the boiling water, and it will immediately jump out. But place him into well-tempered water, heat it up slowly, and the frog won't see it coming until it's too late.

She complains until you're so fed up that you eventually choose the easy route and do what she demands instead of arguing about it. By using your aversion to drama against you, she achieves ultimate control and gets you to do whatever she wants.

2. The Empty Promise Land

We all have things that we'd like to change about our partner. Manipulative women use that to their advantage.

She will promise you that she will become everything you've ever wished for, but then never take action. If you talk to her about it, she will just blame you for trying to change her.

Also, prepare for some scrutiny from her friends, especially when you want her to work out with you and lose a few pounds. She will tell her friends, and they will conveniently learn about your private conversations and use them to scold you.

They’ll tell her, “How could he even ask something horrible like that of you? If he doesn't like you the way you are, then you deserve someone better.”

Arguments like that are common, and you've probably heard some version of this.

3. Gaslighting

The place that sends you mad, inspired by Asterix's Twelve Tasks, is also known as gaslighting. Gaslighting is simple yet extremely effective, and it uses cognitive dissonance to torture the victim.

First, she says something incredibly mean. When a partner confronts her with it, she tells him, "I've never said that. You always make up stories. You should get checked by a doctor."

She repeats the process until her partner loses it and starts yelling. Then she blames her partner for yelling at her. Of course, her version of the story is always the correct one, and you're a liar.

What can sound like a manipulative but harmless game isn't all that innocent. Gaslighting is actually used as an advanced interrogation technique.

I'm quoting from Dorpat who wrote in 1996, “Gaslighting tends to evoke in them low self-esteem and disturbing ideas and effects and may facilitate development of confusion, anxiety, depression, and in some extreme cases, even psychosis.”

Why would someone do something like that to their partner? I have no clue, but I've seen it drive a person crazy in real life, and I’ll tell you it’s horrible.

4. Isolation

She will prevent you from hanging out, talking, and messaging with other women to a point where the female gender stops existing to you. Female friends, innocent flirting, or even an unsolicited smile from a waitress can trigger extreme jealousy in her. This is her tool of choice to slowly but surely remove other women from your life so she has you all to herself.

Of course, this leads to you losing most of your confidence in your ability to attract other women. You believe that you'll never get a better woman than her ever again. This gives her even more power over you and you feel broken and needy when the relationship ends.

Funny enough, eliminating any woman from your life also leads to her losing interest in you. So the isolation tactic can also lead to her cheating on you, which to me, is next-level twisted.

The same principle of isolation is often applied to your friendships as well. She will nag and fight until you see your friends less and less and all you've got left is the relationship.

This is especially easy for her to do if you have kids because then she can play the, "You're a bad father” card to get you to stay home with her all the time.  

And as a by-product of your failure to stand up for yourself, your friends will lose all respect for you and refer to you as “whipped” from now on.

If it wasn't so painful and destructive, I'd call this tactic genius.

5. The Commitment Trap

Any healthy relationship needs commitment, but if you sense that she has a secret agenda and tries to use commitment to control you, then you better be careful.

She will get you to commit more and more until you have a ton to lose, at which point it will be the hardest thing in the world to leave. The usual way this is done is by creating an, "If you leave, you'll lose everything that is dear to you," situation.

I wish none of this were true, but we all know about nasty divorces where taking away children and possessions is used to hurt the other person and get your way. Be very careful with big commitments such as moving in together, marriage, or pregnancy. I even know cases from my closest friends where a girl manipulated the guy into getting her pregnant so he would marry her.

Theoretically, prenups would give you more security in the purity of her intentions, but requests for a prenup are easily dismissed with arguments like, "Why don't you trust me?" or, "Why don't you love me?" Although to any rational person, a prenup is a tool that is merely a fallback in case anything unforeseen should ever happen.

Some women would rather break up with their partner than sign one. If that is the case, then you should be extremely cautious. No one wants a divorce, but the reality is that in our day and age, people get divorced all the time, even those who never intended to.

A prenup is a sensible tool in case you have significant assets. If her intentions are really pure, then she shouldn't have a problem with it because she's covered as long as you're together anyways.

6. The Forbidden Fruit

The forbidden fruit tactic is similar to the commitment trap, but instead of commitment she uses sex to control you.

This usually starts with her being exceedingly sexual and wanting it all the time at the beginning of the connection. "Oh wow, she's an animal in bed, how lucky am I?" is what you think initially. But as the relationship continues, that sexual appetite diminishes and she starts treating sex as a favor. She slowly paints your desire for sex as shallow or wrong.

You feel betrayed because you entered a relationship with someone who pretended to like sex with you, when as soon as they got what they wanted they showed their real face.

This also makes you insecure about your sexual ability and leads to sexual shame. Our desire for sex isn't something that we can just turn on and off like a light switch. It's a basic human need and deeply ingrained in us to secure the continued existence of the human race.

Most men can't just stop and live celibate – but God forbid he goes to a professional or starts lusting for other women. Then she'll destroy that lying son of a gun.

What a fun tactic. First, you take away sex, then you crucify him for wanting it. It's so cruel, it would pass as a medieval torture practice.

Let me clarify – often in a relationship, the frequency and intensity of sex naturally decreases. That's totally normal and not at all what I'm talking about here. Every relationship goes through phases, but in a healthy relationship the partners are a team and try to solve the problem together. They don't blame the other person or think it's the end of the world not to have sex all the time.

I’m also fully empathetic with women who are with partners that suck in bed or just want to do the same lame routine over and over. (Don't worry, ladies, I'm going to follow up with men’s manipulative tactics very soon, so stay tuned to make sure you don't miss it.)

7. The Blindside Hit

Everything you tell her in confidence is a weapon she has up her sleeve in case you ever leave her. When you do, she'll use your deepest insecurities against you and make them public.

"Five years, and he couldn't even make me cum once. Also, his dick is tiny."

Of course she won't just use the prospect of revealing this information once you break up, but even before as blackmail.

8. The Twisted Princess

We all have cherished fantasies of what we want our love life to be and, for many women, a wedding plays a central role in this vision. Young girls play out over and over how they picture their perfect wedding with the perfect man – and there's nothing wrong with that.

Even some guys do that, myself included. As a kid, I sat down with a calculator and one of those thick catalogs that had everything from candles to roof shingles, and I put together the perfect house for my future family.

But childish fantasies and adult reality often collide. Many couples do not have the funds to pay for a lavish wedding with hundreds of guests and a big diamond ring in a teal blue box.

I'm quoting here from research done by Friedline and Song, “Young adults accumulate a median of $1,000 in saving accounts, 4,600 in total assets, 965 in debt, excluding student loans, and 4,000 in net worth, again, excluding student loans.” With those numbers in mind, how can a young adult these days sensibly pay for a big wedding and diamond ring?

The twisted princesses do not want to give up one bit of their Cinderella fantasy. They use love as a way to pressure a guy to go into debt to give her the best day of her life.

If at any point he raises concerns about the feasibility of it all, she promptly shuts him down with, ''So you don't love me?" As he tries to plead with her, she breaks down in tears and may even tell her dad that his future son-in-law doesn't want to do everything in his power to spoil his little princess.

At this point, her family offers to pay for some of the wedding to help out since she wants to marry “a loser that can't even provide for his family. ” This offer seems nice on the surface, but it's used for the rest of marriage whenever it's convenient for her. "My dad paid for our wedding, and you don't even want to paint their new fence? That is right. You really are ungrateful."

Most women aren't like that at all. Even if they have that fantasy of the big wedding, all these guests coming, the nice ring and all of that, most people who love each other can compromise.

He takes a step towards her, she takes a step towards him and at the end, they have a fabulous day. One of the best days of their lives. It's all good, they can enjoy it, and it's awesome.

To be honest, isn't the smaller wedding often even nicer because you actually get to talk to the people there who are your closest friends and family?

I've seen weddings where there are so many people that it's hard for the bride and groom to talk to everyone, sit down, and not be stressed. I think that most people, even if they have big fantasies, can come to a nice compromise and enjoy the day.

That's all I’ve got for today.

To reiterate, most women would never do any of the things detailed here, but some will. You have to be aware of them. And knowing the arsenal that manipulative women have at their disposal is a great precaution.

Take care.

Julian Reisinger


8 Ways Women Use to Manipulate Men

So far we have talked about the ways men try to manipulate women. However, the weaker sex in this part is able to give a hundred points ahead. Moreover, all kinds of TV programs and glossy magazines are just full of advice on how to manipulate men.

What do female manipulations usually lead to? And how to recognize them?

  1. Help me…

One of the favorite ways of a woman is to pretend to be weak and helpless and appeal to his masculinity, strength, physical superiority.

Most men are proud to be men, and throughout their lives they need confirmation of their strength and masculinity. Therefore, they readily turn their shoulder when a woman touchingly asks for help.

This help can be expressed both in specific cases, such as repairing a computer, a car, or preparing data for a report, and in a way of life.

A woman who plays on her helplessness manages to inspire her chosen one to constantly take care of herself, protect her. On the one hand, it gives a man the opportunity to feel strong, to assert himself even in his own eyes, on the other hand, in fact, leads a consumer lifestyle.

  1. Turn on blonde…

A naive creature that literally looks into a man's mouth, wins him over, evoking a sense of superiority in him. “Ah, dear, you are so smart!”, “I would never have guessed!”, “Well, wow, and how do you only know everything ?!”.

Often hiding behind the fact that she does not understand anything, a woman can get a man to do her job, etc.

This technique allows not only to use men, but also to avoid any responsibility for one's actions. An unhappy look, a confused look - “I didn’t think it was so serious”, “I didn’t understand what exactly had to be done” ... Well, what man would allow himself to reproach this charming creature, and even more so to demand something from him?

However, as practice shows, most of these women are well aware of what they are doing, and how it can turn out for others.

  1. And Serezha is better…

The desire of a man to be the most successful and the strongest allows a woman to manipulate him with the help of comparison. "Vitya bought a fur coat for his wife..", "Tamarka's husband went for a promotion, but you still can't...", "the neighbor will fix the tap and drive in a nail, but your hands grow from nowhere"...

Some men, Of course, they are led to this and make desperate attempts to be no worse than the example of a friend’s husband or their own childhood friend. Still, it is very important for a man to feel that he is the best for his chosen one. However, comparisons in favor of the other nurture an inferiority complex in a man and make him feel like a failure. And losers are rarely able to achieve anything.

  1. Drip-drip-drip from clear eyes…

Tears are one of the most powerful female weapons. They are known to be very poorly tolerated. And many women enjoy it. A crying woman looks defenseless, and a man, of course, wants to feel sorry for her, console her.

But when a woman resorts to this technique too often, an addiction effect occurs. Over time, the tears of the chosen one will not only stop touching, but will even begin to cause irritation. And then it will be possible to sob as much as you like - the man's heart will not tremble.

  1. You turned me down twice...

Despite the fact that experts of all stripes warn women about the inadmissibility of manipulating sex, there are no fewer lovers of such manipulations.

Dissatisfied with her husband's behavior, the wife refuses him bed comforts. And it can be both veiled - "my head hurts", and quite frankly - "did not deserve it." Of course, the man will try to break into a cake so that the missus will change her anger to mercy.

True, if this method is used too often, there is a great chance that a man will simply find a sexual outlet on the side, which will allow him not to depend on his wife's mood.

Smarter ladies use sex as a way of reward. They regularly fulfill their marital duty, but, as they say, without a twinkle. But if the husband has done something worthy of encouragement - from fixing the tap to buying a new fur coat, he will have stormy and passionate sex, which you can’t count on in normal times.

It must be said that the weaker sex successfully uses sexual manipulations not only in the family. It is easier for a sexy young lady to get help and support from men - even at work, even in the company of friends.

  1. Oh, I am poor, unhappy...

Pressure on the feeling of pity is another of the most favorite female techniques.

An unhappy look - "Oh, I'm a poor thing, I'm so tired at work, and I'm also preparing dinner for my husband ..." plus a gentle smile - "But I'm not complaining ..." - and the man begins to feel a sense of embarrassment and is ready to move mountains himself for the sake of his beloved.

Supporters of such manipulations are very fond of pretending to be sick. Some of them get so into the image that they actually begin to experience ailments - from headaches to weakness. Well, if such women really have some kind of health problems, then they will play this card to the fullest.

  1. Playing the victim…

Such women willingly put all the members of their household around their necks, accustom them to the consumer attitude themselves and at the same time keep a careful account of all their victims. Their main task is to cause an enduring feeling of guilt in loved ones.

Some representatives of the weaker sex reduce themselves to the state of a bedside rug. They forgive everything - from betrayal to a show of hands. Just to keep her husband around.

However, according to experts, such manipulations cause irritation and aggression in men.

It is from husbands-eternal victims that domestic tyrants most often turn out. Note: most women who are ready to endure humiliation and beatings from their husband revel in their role as a victim.

  1. I was offended…

Demonstration of resentment is also, in its purest form, an attempt to manipulate others. Many women use it to control their husbands. Anything can cause offense - the husband did not speak affectionately enough, came too late, spent too much money on himself, etc. Some throw a tantrum, others, on the contrary, pose as suffering angels - not a word of reproach, only tears in their eyes and dramatic silence: “You see how I suffer!”. The husband has to constantly make excuses and prove to his wife how much he loves her. For this, one will simply wash the floors in the kitchen, and the other will buy a new fur coat - depending on the requests of his wife and his capabilities.

...At the heart of most female manipulation is an attempt to make a man feel guilty. And the more conscientious and responsible a man is, the easier it is for a woman to achieve what she wants.

However, if a man is “led” to manipulations, this does not mean that he does not notice them. Many men, for example, knowing full well that their wife is manipulating them, prefer to simply turn a blind eye to it. But even if a man is silent, you should not conclude that everything suits him. Some in such cases go headlong to work, others to drunkenness, and others to the left. But in any case, dislike for his wife begins to accumulate in his soul. Sooner or later, she will destroy the relationship. And then no, even the most ingenious manipulations will not help to save the relationship.


For the most part, manipulators grow out of those who were manipulated in childhood, who perceive sincerity and trust as a threat, who are afraid of losing relationships and therefore seek to control their partner.

To be able to resist the manipulator, you need to learn to think critically, to take into account not words, but actions. And most importantly, you need to learn to firmly say “no” when you feel that you are being forced in one way or another to act contrary to your interests.

Novoe Delo

Games played by women: psychological manipulation as a way to control

We are used to trusting our relatives, friends and loved ones, and often do not think about the fact that sometimes, under the guise of love and care, they gradually take advantage of us harm us for the sake of satisfying their own needs. How to recognize such manipulations and resist them? And, just as importantly, how to notice and eliminate the tendency to manipulate others in ourselves?

There are also manipulations from a position of strength – this is how powerful partners, authoritative elders, “experienced” friends, and aggressive critics try to control us. But above all, manipulation is a way to control other people from a position of cultivated weakness. Manipulators “put pressure on pity”, play on feelings of guilt and duty, on the desire for recognition and acceptance, on the desire to appear good and important. Excellent manipulators are “offended” elderly relatives or children who extort what they are looking for with whims or skillfully use the love, guilt and responsibility of loved ones. Prone to manipulation and partners in romantic and family relationships.

Men also use manipulation: “You are so smart, you can do it better than me!” But still, women have developed manipulation to the level of a real art of manipulation, many of whom today call themselves the “weaker sex” almost with pride.

There are classic effective manipulation techniques. Some of them are universal, but most of them involve women in relation to partners, children, friends:

“You don’t love me at all!”

Such an accusation is a clear example of manipulation. The accused - a partner or a child - in fright rushes to appease the accuser, proving his love. “If you love me, then do as I ask” - from the same opera. Moreover, a man who falls for a trick will be considered weak and controllable, will lose respect in the eyes of a woman.

“I can't live without you!..”

This is already a game on one's feminine weakness, an appeal to the “duty” of a child or the male strength of a partner. And it’s not only about “I can’t hammer a nail myself”, but also about “don’t go to your friends, how I am alone without you!” This envelops the victim in a web of control, inspires him with a sense of responsibility for the “weak woman” or “caring mother” who loves him so much.


Mothers of grown children often become manipulators. Losing legal and financial power over the offspring, they begin to use other methods of control: “Oh, how my heart hurts! But you go, go on your date”, “Here you are going on vacation, and the potatoes are not harvested at the dacha”, “You call me so rarely, of course, your family is dearer to you than me…”.

“You are special to me”

Manipulations on the feeling of exclusivity are also effective. But in most cases, enthusiastic tender praise: “You are the kindest, most generous, most powerful ...” will certainly end with a request.

“A real man must…”

This is where our cultural attitudes, adopted from older generations, come into play. A man should be a “problem solver”, a protector from everyday adversity and a breadwinner, he is obliged to provide for his home and family, and “worthy”, “no worse than others”. For example, a man without a car or receiving a small salary for a job he loves may well be under the gun of accusations that will make him inferior in his own eyes. Moreover, in the eyes of the mother, the son often “owes” her no less than the husband.

"You have to change for me!"

This special case of “a man must…” usually means: “You must become worthy of me, convenient and useful for me, must despise your own interests for my sake. ” Women often try to change the habits and preferences of others - to reshape their personalities, adjusting them to their needs. And partners or children who do not want to change are quickly declared not to live up to expectations.

Relatives and friends are involved in the manipulation

“All my friends say that you are not right for me”, “And my mother warned me not to marry you!” Such statements isolate the victim, making the man think that something is really wrong with him, since everyone around him is sure of it.

"You looked at another - you cheated on me!"

Such “raising elephants out of flies” puts pressure on guilt, even if there are no objective grounds for it. And then it is already possible to apply total control, forcing a man to constantly report where he is and with whom. Any jealousy, not even feigned, is a manifestation not so much of love as of a possessive feeling.

Systematic claims and accusations

Of course, accusations can be justified, but sometimes, in order for a man to continue to feel guilty, which means that he is manageable, women are able to blame him for anything. Works a lot - does not pay attention, works little - a loafer and a loser. Young - nothing of himself, not young - in poor physical shape. Does not give gifts - miser, gives - makes amends. I went fishing with friends - I offended blood, I stayed at home on the couch - I'm a lazy person. A similar tactic can be applied to the "management" of children. To please a woman who is determined to remain offended is impossible in principle. Rare manipulative provocations happen in harmonious loving relationships, but such debilitating pressure is a symptom of serious problems.

Shifting responsibility

“You cheated on me!” “Because you didn’t pay attention to me!” This, to put it mildly, is not a constructive approach to solving the problem, but an occasion to seriously think about the expediency of such relations. But in some cases, a man in love who is bogged down in manipulation may accept such an excuse, considering himself guilty.

“What would you do without me?”

Some women skillfully maintain the illusion of their own uniqueness and indispensability: "I have so many admirers, but you are lucky, appreciate it. " In addition, a woman can turn into a feat any little thing that she does for a partner or child, and blame him for not appreciating it. “Yes, who needs you besides me,” which destroys the victim’s self-esteem, is also involved.

“I will leave you!”

Fear of loss and jealousy of an opponent, even an imaginary one, can force a man to fulfill the demands of his "blackmailer". Even worse are colorful false depressions and imaginary suicide attempts, when guilt and pity are added to the fear of loss: “I am a monster, what I brought her to!” There can be manipulation and tears, scandals and screams, which are very difficult for most men, and even more so for children, to endure - it’s easier for them to do what a woman wants, if only it stops.

Trying to take “weakly”

“Our neighbor got a promotion. And you are no worse than me!”, “By the way, my husband bought my sister a new fur coat,” etc. - also manipulation, like any “unobtrusive” begging for gifts, like: “I have absolutely nothing to wear . ..”

Punishment with deprivation of sex

Or: “today you sleep on the couch”, “dine as you like”, “well, smooth shirts myself. Of course, no one is obliged to provide a partner with dinner or sex at the first whistle, but sometimes such a denial of intimacy or help is used precisely as manipulation, as a way of blackmail that will force a man to “earn” homemade food and sex. It is even worse when children have to earn the care and affection of their mother.


Sometimes, when flirting with a man, a woman is not going to develop a relationship with him at all. In the position of a “spare”, “useful friend”, a man will quickly feel second-rate and unworthy, but hope will continue to keep him close to the manipulator.

Offended silence

Universal sadness in the eyes and pursed lips – a completely understandable message: “I’m practically a saint – I keep silent and endure”, “figure out what you’re guilty of, and apologize. ” Such a boycott also helps to justify any actions, such as: “I was offended and will not go with you to your parents.”

Provocation of violence

This is an effective way to authentically look like a victim, gain public sympathy and power over the “offender”. “You are so guilty before me! Now pay up!" No provocation justifies domestic violence, but it is important to remember that sometimes there are two perpetrators in such a situation. A vivid example is the recent conflict between the star couple Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, where Depp was accused of everything by default, but in fact the “patient heroine” Heard mocked her husband in the most sophisticated ways. A man in such a situation finds himself between two evils: he answered aggression - “monster”, did not answer - “rag”. It is not easy for the “stronger sex” to withstand such a mental breakdown.

And this is not a complete list of female manipulative techniques, because we cultivate them and indulge them for centuries. From childhood, men are taught that “girls must yield”, “girls must not be offended”. But belonging to the "weaker sex" should not mean permissiveness, does not give the right to humiliate others with impunity, manipulate them, use pain points and lie.

Manipulators artistically portray the victims, but in reality, as a rule, they are the “psychological abusers”, year after year inventively inflicting suffering on their loved ones. Moreover, often manipulators themselves believe in their own game, in their false feelings and resentments.

Direct, constructive confrontation can be useful in confronting manipulators: “What exactly do you mean?”, “What exactly do you want from me?” Learn to say "no" or at least "I'll think about it." Do not succumb to provocations, do not get involved in the game of a manipulator - do not allow your weaknesses to be used and unbalance. Show that you noticed the manipulation, laugh it off or distance yourself. And if the relationship again and again brings you harm, pain, guilt - if possible, stop communicating with persistent manipulators.

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