What should i masturbate to
How to Masturbate If You Have a Penis: 12 Tips and Techniques
Wondering how to masturbate better? If you have a penis, you may think that masturbation is pretty straightforward and doesn’t require a comprehensive guide. But this is giving very little credit to the art of masturbation and the multitude of paths you can take, regardless of specific genitalia involved.
As we spelled out in our guide on how to masturbate if you have a vagina, there’s always room to learn when it comes to how to masturbate better. Although there’s not, to be clear, a “correct” way to get yourself off, there are bound to be some masturbation techniques you haven’t tried yet. And that’s likely true no matter how long you’ve been doing it for — which could be awhile!
Studies show that, on average, regular masturbation tends to kick off in teens around the age of 12 or 13, with some people starting much sooner (including as young children) and others a bit later on. Being curious about your body and how to pleasure yourself isn’t just common.
It’s a totally safe, natural and — not to bury the lede here — enjoyable way to explore what you like and your relationship to your own body.
Masturbation is a healthy practice and you should in no way feel ashamed for wanting to engage in it.
Everyone can benefit from some masturbation tips and guidelines to better master self-love — it’s not like you’re going to learn about this stuff in school. So let’s get started! In this article, you’ll learn all about penis masturbation techniques, how to switch up your stroke, and some of our favorite tips for reaching orgasm.
Health benefits of masturbationBefore we get into the ins and outs of how to masturbate, let's talk about why it can be good for your health. Not only is it totally natural to masturbate, but it can also help you reduce stress, get better sleep, improve your body image, and more, according to Planned Parenthood.
We know that orgasms are great for releasing a rush of mood-boosting neurochemicals, like oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins, to the brain.
But did you know that masturbating can help increase your body’s production of prolactin, a hormone that helps regulate your immune system, too? And as an added bonus, there's no chance of contracting STIs, unwanted pregnancy, or any of the other risks involved in partnered sex. So, despite it being seen as taboo or, at best, a punchline in some sex-negative corners of society, there are so many reasons why masturbating is an extremely healthy thing to do.
More than that, a solid masturbation session also helps you figure out what you like sexually and what you're comfortable with, which is why knowing how to touch yourself is a good idea regardless of whether you’re having partnered sex. The self-knowledge it brings is going to be a key component of your future sex life, and it can make you better able to communicate what you want and what you don't — which is an important part of consent. That could be one reason why embracing solo sex has been linked to a higher likelihood of having positive sexual experiences later in life.
1. Find your stroke
To get things started, use your hand to find a rhythm you love. Finding your rhythm when you masturbate takes time and practice. Some people enjoy rapid strokes, some enjoy slower strokes, and others like a variety when it comes to reaching orgasm. (In general, though, you’re going to want to start out with slower strokes before building to a faster pace, if that is your intent.) There is no limit to the ways you can use your hand to explore your penis. When in doubt, stay consistent until you find what works for you.
2. Once you've found your stroke, switch it up
Finding the best way to masturbate is not a one-size-fits-all thing, and what feels good today can potentially change over time. You may find, for instance, that a stroke you liked at one point makes way for something else in the future. That’s totally normal. Enjoy some variety in each masturbation session, using varied strokes or switching hands (you can try using both hands at once, too).
It’s also a good idea to switch things up on occasion so that you don’t get overly accustomed to reaching orgasm in one way only; this can help keep you responsive and flexible for current or future sexual partners!
Looking for a new stroke to try? You can do things like grasp the base of your penis while, with your other hand, stimulating the super-sensitive head with your palm or fingers; more loosely grasping your penis and, with your thumb of the same hand, applying a bit more pressure to the underside of your shaft as you move up and down; or doing a twisting and pulling motion, kind of like your hand is a corkscrew. There’s a near-unlimited number of ways to experiment with strokes, so keep going until you find a handful (pun this time not intended) that work for you!
Masturbation doesn’t need to be this super fast, shameful thing you do in the dark corner of your bedroom.
3. Take your time
Regardless of what you’ve seen on popular television shows and in movies, masturbation doesn’t need to be this super fast, shameful thing you do in the dark corner of your bedroom.
It doesn’t need to be a race to finish if you don’t want it to be.
Sure, locking the door adds privacy, which can help set the mood, but what you’re doing isn’t shameful or bad. Set some time to actually enjoy the process of learning how to masturbate. Don’t rush it. Listen to your body and see what feels good for you. Find the erogenous zones that work best for you. Do you prefer stimulation at the head of the penis? The base?
Everybody is different, and every person enjoys different things. If you learn what you like, you will be more fully equipped for interpersonal sexual experiences down the road, which will help you enjoy a healthier sex life.
Need more incentive to take your time? Edging — or the practice of getting yourself close to orgasm but stopping just before you reach it, and doing this three or four times before finishing — makes for a more sensation-filled orgasm for some people. Whether you edge or simply find other ways to tease yourself, allowing yourself to drag out and savor your solo session may make its ending more satisfying.
4. Lube is your best friend
If you’re wondering how to masturbate better, there’s a good chance lube could be missing from your life. The friction of your hand directly on your penis for a prolonged period of time is not a particularly good feeling. The right lube is important for all sex acts, from masturbation to intercourse.
When it comes to the best way to masturbate, there’s an enduring myth that lotion is a popular option for a masturbation session, but lotion is not lube. Sure, it’s easy to find around the house and is convenient, but it isn’t ideal for masturbation. Your penis is a sensitive area, and some scented lotions can actually cause irritation (which is not fun).
Always opt for lube. If you have access to or are able to buy lube, go for a water-based, unscented option. Anything with “warming” components or flavoring may also cause itching or irritation.
In some cases, getting your hands on lube may be difficult. If this is the case, there are some household options that can work.
You can use 100% coconut oil or 100% aloe vera as lube (this does not include sunburn lotion with aloe vera or similar products). Vaseline can be used, too, but only when externally applied for solo sessions — for partnered sex, it can cause condoms to break, and if your partner has a vagina, it can lead to infection. In general, it’s best to make sure what you’re using is 100% pure.
5. Give your balls some love
You may want to explore your body even more on your quest for reaching orgasm, and that is fantastic. Don’t ignore your balls. They are very sensitive and packed with nerve endings.
Try rubbing them gently with one hand while the other maintains a stroke on your penis. You can even stop stroking altogether and just pay close attention to the balls. How much pressure you put on your sack will depend on your individual preference. Try a few different options during your next masturbation session and see what works for you.
6. Prostate stimulation is definitely an option, too
Masturbating need not be relegated solely to the penis.
Your prostate is a walnut-sized gland just inside the anus that can feel great when stimulated. Lube up and try using your fingers or a small butt plug by inserting it into the anus. (Remember: never put anything in your anus that doesn't have a flared base!) Be sure you go slowly and relax the anus before insertion. In pursuit of the P-spot, you’ll also get the benefits of stimulating the entrance to the anus itself — which has just as many nerve endings as the tip of the penis (about 4,000)!
Your prostate is a gland just inside the anus that can feel great when stimulated.
Keep in mind that anally stimulating yourself while stroking your penis may be challenging. It might be best to focus on one or the other, at least to start.
And if you aren’t open to trying prostate stimulation, that’s perfectly all right. When it comes to the best way to masturbate, it’s important to understand that everyone has personal preferences for reaching orgasm. Prostate stimulation is enjoyable for some and not for others.
Deciding what to try and what to skip is totally up to you.
7. Include other erogenous zones
Common erogenous zones — places that feel really great to be touched — on someone with a penis are the penis (obviously), the scrotum, and the perineum. The perineum, often called the taint, is the nerve-packed space between the anus and the scrotum, and many people love to be touched here.
Unfortunately, given how penis-centric a lot of masturbation tips and conversations are, the perineum doesn’t get as much airtime, and antiquated (and homophobic) ideas about where you’re “supposed to” stimulate yourself can keep some people from feeling empowered enough to fully explore their body. If you choose to, though, it’s definitely worth exploring this area to see if it helps stimulate you further while reaching orgasm. And if it doesn’t, that’s okay, too! Simply move on for now and consider trying again another time. The important thing is that you don’t feel limited when trying out what feels good for you.
As far as erogenous zones on the penis go, the frenulum is a big one. It’s the bit of skin on the underside of the penis where the shaft meets the head, and it’s packed with a ton of nerve endings — so try giving it a little extra attention!
It’s also worth noting that not every erogenous zone is going to be in this region of the body; from your inner thighs, nipples and neck to your inner wrist and ears, the body is packed with erogenous zones, and they often look different on different people. Using a masturbation sesh as an opportunity to explore where else on your body brings you pleasure is a great idea (and can make for more fulfilling partnered sex later on, too).
8. Try different positions
Who said masturbation has to be stationary? Try out different positions to not only switch things up, but also to enhance your pleasure and find what works best for you. You can stand up, lie down, push your hips forward or elevate them with a pillow — really, the options are endless.
9. Introduce toys to your repertoire
Vibrators and sex toys can be a great way to take things to a new level when you’re learning how to masturbate — and, for the record, they’re definitely not just for vaginas! You can opt for a traditional vibrator, using it to massage your balls or shaft, or you can try a masturbation sleeve for a new sensation (just be sure to use a water-based lube with these!). If you're interested in prostate stimulation, there are toys specifically for that purpose, too.
Worried about having toys that were purchased online delivered to your home, or nervous to go into one of those really old-school adult superstores off the interstate? (We can’t say we’d blame you!) A lot of pharmacies sell things like vibrators and even cock rings; you’d find them in the section where condoms and lube are sold!
10. Tap into some fantasies
A big part of masturbation, of course, isn’t just knowing how to jerk off, but figuring out what to jerk off to.
Though visual aids are obviously helpful here, it’s totally possible to masturbate without porn. While porn can function as a normal, healthy and fun way to discover new things about what you’re attracted to, one cool thing about masturbating without it is that you’re totally in control of the fantasy. Whereas watching porn is passive, masturbating to a fantasy means your mind gets to wander in the direction of what excites you. It’s another great way of figuring out what you’re into, and it can be super helpful if and when you want to share your fantasies with partners later. (If you do choose to watch porn, look for ethically made options, and remember that it’s NOT a model for real sex, but simply a fantasy.)
11. Try it with a partner
Speaking of partners: If you have a partner that you’re in a close relationship with, you could try masturbating together. This works well both for sexually active couples, and those who are trying to wait a bit before having penetrative sex.
This super-stimulating activity allows you both to feel intense pleasure while being together physically. And who knows? Reaching orgasm together but apart just might be the hot new thing to check off your to-do list.
12. Remind yourself that masturbation is a healthy form of self-care
Hopefully you have a supportive community that values sexual health and free expression, but this isn’t the case for everyone. We live in a sex-negative culture — one that puts a lot of pressure on people to act in a certain way, without providing information about the significance of sexual health in a person’s life.
Masturbation is a healthy practice, and you should in no way feel ashamed for wanting to engage in it. It’s a way to explore what you like, release stress and energy, and learn about your body. And it’s not a “second best” option to having sex with partners either — far from it! A healthy solo sex life is just as important as other kinds of sex, as well as an important way to show yourself a little care.
So feel free to get to it, sans any stigma!
Gigi Engle is a writer and sex educator in NYC. She is a certified member of the World Association of Sex Coaches, and serves as a Pleasure Professional with the O.School, where she teaches classes on things like pleasure, sexual health, and confidence.
7 everyday things you can use to masturbate
Masturbation is healthy, and there is nothing wrong with the practice (despite what many might think). But it can become a little monotonous, and despite common notions, the act does not have to involve penetration. Read more about how to masturbate, a step-by-step guide for women.
So if you have been looking for ways to masturbate without having to illegally buy sex toys, we have just the solution for you.
First things first -- the precautions
Do not use anything sharp or pointed as you are likely to hurt yourself.
Never use anything that has small parts that can fall out or get stuck inside you.
Always wash and clean the objects with soap and hot water before and after the act.
Never insert fruits and vegetables into your vagina. Not only can they break off inside you, but they can also lead to a number or infections due to the bacteria they carry. You may also like to read about how to recognise if you have orgasmed.
Here's the list:
Bathroom faucet (jet spray or hand held shower head) : This fixture is great to stimulate your clitoris. Just take a seat on the edge of your tub, toilet seat or stand (if you prefer that) and use the water jet to stimulate your clitoris. One of the fastest ways to reach an orgasm - using a jet spray is highly effective. What's more, you can moderate the pressure of the water stream as you prefer, increasing the pressure when you are about to climax. Here are some facts about female masturbation that will shock you.
Caution:
While using the jet spray makes sure you direct the stream of water to the spot on top of your clitoris and not on its opening.
This can lead to UTI and other infections. Also, make sure you pee after the act so as to wash out any bacteria that might be present. And most importantly wash the spout before you use it, and just to be extra safe never use one present in a common bathroom.
Spoon: This handy utensil can be used to masturbate too. No, you don't insert it into your vagina. Instead, you use the back (smooth, shiny part) of the spoon to rub against your clitoris. For added pleasure, you can even use a little bit of petroleum jelly to lubricate the spoon, so it doesn't hurt you when you are rubbing yourself with it.
Caution:
It is essential that you do not try to insert the spoon into your vagina as it can hurt the delicate inner lining of your intimate area. Apart from that, make sure you wash the spoon well with soap and water before and after you are done.
Washing Machine: This machine vibrates when on the spin cycle and using it to masturbate can be interesting.
All you need to do is sit on the machine when it is on the spin cycle, and let the vibration help you orgasm. Another way is to spread your legs and rub up against the machine when it is vibrating.
Caution:
If you do decide to sit on the machine, make sure you do not fall or hurt yourself. Using a washing machine to masturbate requires practice, so be careful while you try this tip out.
Pillow: Cuddle it, sleep on it or use it to masturbate, the pillow can be a great prop to hit the big O. Its soft texture and easy availability makes it the perfect prop. All you need to do is rub it between your legs or even against your clitoris for a great orgasm.
Caution:
The cover of a pillow can cause chaffing due the lack of moisture, which helps lubricate the rubbing action. So make sure you are gentle and stop when you feel any irritation when you are using this prop.
Anything that vibrates (electric toothbrush, razor, body massager): The vibration that an electric toothbrush or razor provides is perfect for clitoral stimulation.
Just take off the brush end/razor top and use the bottom, vibrating part of the brush to stimulate yourself.
Caution:
Make sure you wash the bottom half of the toothbrush well before you use it. If it isn't water resistant, you could also use antiseptic wipes to clean it. One of the best ways to ensure you do not contract an infection is to cover it with a condom before you use it. Not only will this help lubricate the area it will also keep you safe from infections.
Your hands: The cleanest and safest ways to masturbate is using your hands. You can use your fingers to penetrate yourself, stimulate you G-spot (here's how you can find this spot) and clitoris. All perfect for an orgasm you won't forget.
Caution:
Make sure you have short well-filed nails so as to avoid any injuries. Also, wash your hands well before you use them on your genitals as the area is quite sensitive, and dirty hands can cause infections and irritation to the delicate skin.
After the big O
Once you have orgasmed, it is great just to lie down and allow that amazing feeling to wash over you. Once you are ready to get up make sure you:
Wash up: Cleaning up after you have masturbated is essential to avoid contracting an infection. So take a little time off, and wash your vagina and clitoris with some warm water.
Clean your prop: Washing the things you have used to masturbate is also important, so invest some time in cleaning and putting away the things you have used.
Cuddle: A great way to end an orgasm is to cuddle right after. If you do not have anyone who you can do that with, simply hold on to your pillow or blanket and drift off into a deep slumber.
You may also like to read:
Female masturbation: 5 steps to do it right.
Are there are any side effects of mastubation?
Image source: Shutterstock
For more articles on Love & Relationships, visit our Love & Relationships section.
For daily free health tips, sign up for our newsletter.
Total Wellness is now just a click away.
Follow us on
11 reasons to masturbate: tips for girls
November 30, 2018 Health Sex
95% of women do not masturbate. And it is absolutely in vain, because it is not only pleasant, but also very useful.
1. Masturbation tones the pelvic floor muscles
You have certainly heard about the benefits of Kegel exercises for the pelvic floor muscles. Masturbation ending in orgasm can replace them. In addition, it supports the body's orgasmic functions, such as vaginal lubrication, in good shape.
By the way, it is convenient to train muscles with the help of special vaginal balls.
2. Masturbation can help you relax
Exploring yourself stimulates the release of endorphins and mood-enhancing hormones, and relieves tension, stress and depression. In addition, after an orgasm, sleep is better.
3. Masturbation relieves pain
Do you suffer from headaches and PMS? The orgasm that masturbation will bring will help. Endorphins have a beneficial effect on blood flow, improve mood and energize.
4. Masturbation will awaken hidden sexual fantasies
The wildest fantasies flourish in solitude. And it's good for the brain. Liked pictures and stories can later be repeated with a partner.
If you give free rein to your thoughts, you can go very far and imagine yourself in situations that you were ashamed to think about before. For example, threesomes or hard games. The best part is that no one will know about your thoughts, and in your fantasy you can become anyone.
And sleep with anyone.
5. Masturbation does not require special decorations and mood
You can, of course, light candles to cheer you up, but the real value of masturbation is that you don't have to impress or surprise anyone. This means that unshaven legs will not become an obstacle on the way to pleasure.
6. Masturbation will help reveal sexuality
It's simple for men, but a woman's body, especially the area between the clitoris and vagina, is full of surprises. Explore yourself, then share your discoveries with a partner.
7. Masturbation is absolutely safe
Sex alone is safe. There is no risk of getting pregnant or getting infected with anything. You won't have to worry about the condom breaking. Only you, serenity and pleasure.
8. Masturbation stimulates libido
The more you masturbate, the more you get to know your body and become more confident. This will affect sex with a partner. If you regularly stimulate yourself, the importance and value of sex, as well as its benefits to the body, increase.
9. Masturbation will help you express yourself
Does your partner's favorite position require you to be strong and flexible? Forget it. During masturbation, you are focused only on yourself. It doesn't matter how or with what you do it. If you're good, you're good. On your back or stomach, squeezing or spreading your legs, using a vibrator or fingers - you are on the right track.
10. Masturbation will save a marriage
Sex in marriage inevitably becomes boring after a while. Passion is slowly leaving, but life comes to the fore. Therefore, on those days when your partner falls down from fatigue, and you want something hotter than cocoa, love yourself. Masturbation will also help keep you from cheating due to differences in sexual appetites and passions.
11. Masturbation is just damn nice
And it's hard to argue with that.
reasons that men and specialists themselves say
18+
You wake up in the morning and realize that your boyfriend, who is lying next to you in bed, is engaged in self-satisfaction.
Do you want to tell him: “Baby, what about me”? And in general, how to behave in such a situation and why do men masturbate in general, even if they are in a relationship?
Tags:
Valeria
intimate life
intimate psychology
Shutterstock
According to statistics, about 80 percent of men and almost 50 percent of women masturbate. In fact, the numbers are higher. Today we are not talking about women. But they are often concerned with the question: why do men like to masturbate? And when they notice their boyfriend masturbating, they begin to worry themselves: “My boyfriend is no longer interested in me, he doesn’t like sex with me!”
Why do men often masturbate? Yes, if only because men and women perceive sex differently. Men can do this to relieve stress. And women - to find harmony with their partner.
But why does he masturbate, instead of waking up a living, beloved and seemingly usually desired girl sleeping next to him?
Because ... wants to masturbate
"I confess that I have such a sexual fantasy: the girl woke up, caught me and ... joined in!" Roman (25)
Why do guys masturbate? Because it's one of those erotic fantasies they don't dare to say out loud. But if the girl herself is not averse to taking the initiative and starting first, such a process can diversify intimate life. And most importantly, it will allow us to be closer to each other, to show more trust.
ADVERTISING - CONTINUED BELOW
“This happened to me during the preparation for the case - when I planned to wake the girl up with sex or cunnilingus. But in the process I got carried away, with whom it does not happen. Another possible reason is that the girl herself is a sexual fantasy. It's nice to look at her, it's nice to dream about her.
In any case, such a situation is a manifestation of a man's trust in a woman. If I didn’t trust, I went to the bathroom. So not "Why didn't you wake me up?!" but "Do you mind if I join?"0079 Valeriy (28)
Masturbation as self-love
In the Netherlands, for example, masturbation is considered extremely important. There is even a Rotterdam Center for Self-Satisfaction, where self-love is studied as a science. Students are taught theory and applied disciplines, such as "Masturbation and aesthetic pleasure" or "Contemplation of natural landscapes during masturbation." Why do men masturbate? In this country, such a piquant topic became the subject of research by scientists who saw important psychological aspects in male self-satisfaction. There is no other country in the world with such concern for men's health.
Because ... cares
Why do men want to masturbate? As ironic as it may sound, sometimes they do it out of love and respect for their partner.
And what if she has “those days” and she definitely doesn’t have time for sex, but a man needs a release? That's when they, too, can resort to self-satisfaction.
“If a wife runs so much during the day that she is unlikely to be able to fully indulge in sex at night, I won’t wake her up. But if it's not, I try to stir it up. Soft". Marat (29)
Male animals also masturbate. Porcupines in a state of sexual arousal walk on three legs, and the fourth is kept on the genitals. An elephant stimulates a semi-erect penis with its trunk. Even if self-satisfaction is inherent in animals by nature, then what can we say about people. It is not always possible to find bad sides in this process. Sometimes a man, being in a relationship, satisfies himself for the sake of taking care of his beloved.
Because ... has the right to masturbate
“For men, masturbation is an expression of freedom: he wanted to have sex with his woman, he wanted to have sex with himself.
If a girl often reproaches him for this (they say, you have me!), She may lose her beloved. Don't encroach on our rights!" Eugene (27)
Masturbation is a legal right
According to the definition of the World Health Organization, masturbation is "the legal right of a person to give himself pleasure and dispose of his own body." Therefore, before asking the question: "Why do men want to masturbate?", remember that everyone has the right to dispose of his body and his desires.
Because...wants to relieve stress quickly
“Masturbation is a way to relieve stress. And quite energy-intensive: no need to involve the girl, think about her pleasure, puff and move. It's just you, your hand, and here it is - detente. Igor (32)
Why do men masturbate? Yes, the representatives of the stronger sex have such a feature. They can relieve stress in two ways - sex or alcohol. Everyone chooses what he likes.
In favor of self-satisfaction is the fact that he requires less various costs from a man. There is no need to persuade a woman to have intimacy, create a suitable atmosphere, waste time on foreplay. I just went to the toilet, took out my "unit", a few minutes and the discharge was received.
“It's faster and sometimes more enjoyable, especially if you're tired, than having sex. He jerked the shutter and with a sense of satisfaction (including moral) - to sleep! But just “masturbating a girl” (waking her up for an erection) is much more disrespectful. Mikhail (31)
Millions of people masturbate
Don't be surprised when you ask yourself why a man masturbates. In fact, 50 million people masturbate every second in the world! And if you saw your boyfriend in the process of self-satisfaction, just mentally write in this list of perfectly normal people who needed a quick discharge at that moment.
Because ...likes and/or is lazy
“I often masturbate when my partner is asleep.
Often after sex. Why? Yes, because I love doing it. For no particular reason." Gennady, (27)
Why do men masturbate even when in a relationship with the woman they love. Simply because they enjoy the process. And they see no other reasons for masturbation.
“Do you want to be honest? Sometimes too lazy to strain. Sex is more than an hour, and then you still need to wash, smoke. And get up early for work. And not all women like being woken up.” Denis (32)
Men in relationships often masturbate
Men in stable relationships masturbate more often than women in relationships. Why do men masturbate? The answers are above. You should not make a big deal out of molehills when the partner's relationship is still strong and he talks about his love. He likes self-satisfaction, which means that he considers it necessary for his body.
Because... the girl refused
It happened to me when a girl refused sex.
She lies all so beautiful, half asleep and absolutely uninterested in my erection. Well, what to do? Just masturbate! Kirill, (31)
Why do men want to masturbate? But this is the very case when the reason may be in the woman herself. She showed no interest in her partner, turned out to be not interested in intimacy, rudely responded to his offer to have sex. And the guy has nothing left but self-satisfaction.
A woman rarely wants sex so-and-so, that she is ready to sacrifice sleep and a rested appearance in the morning, but a man - easily. Well, since she refused and is sleeping, then I will be alone with myself. Maxim, (27)
Masturbation as a threat to relationships
Why does a man masturbate? Because he lacks intimacy, tenderness, care, attention and corny - sex. Sexual dissatisfaction can be a serious threat to a relationship. Experts put this reason on a par with psychological incompatibility, which, according to statistics, most often leads to divorce.
"The reason is simple: I had an erection, but I didn't wake up the miracle that was sniffing nearby." Andrey (37 )
But if a partner often refuses offers of sex, a man may start thinking about what he can find himself and another woman.
Why does a man masturbate: what do women say
How do girls react when they find their beloved doing an interesting activity? They... are silent. Why a guy masturbates remains a mystery to her. She begins to imagine that he has another, he has taken a mistress. But the lack of knowledge of how to be in such a situation creates an awkward situation. And women are really just silent and don't know how to behave.
Women are silent
“When I realized that my husband lying next to me was masturbating, I wanted to... joke. But she resisted, remembering that laughter and sex are not always compatible. I waited for him to finish and fell asleep." Tatiana, (26)
I convinced myself that it seemed to me.
After all, it can't be that he masturbates instead of waking me up! Especially since we just went to bed.” Ekaterina, (24)
When a guy masturbates, women get involved in the process
“I am absolutely calm about the fact that my man masturbates - it means that at the moment he has chosen this type of pleasure. I also have different desires. And if I want, I can just join.” Ekaterina, (23)
“I think the best option in such a situation is to help my MCH, as much as I have enough vigor (I’m awake!) and imagination.” Lina, (24)
Fortunately, many women are able to understand their partner and avoid unnecessary questions: “Why does my boyfriend masturbate?”
Ask questions
“I was a bit taken aback when I found him masturbating. But she did not think of anything, but simply asked why. He honestly answered that he woke up from sexual arousal, began to pester me, but I refused through a dream, and he didn’t go to the bathroom, because it’s more pleasant to do this when there is a half-naked beloved nearby.
After this frank conversation, we had great sex. And now, when he suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night, he always wakes me up.” Tatyana, (27)
And sometimes a right and timely question, as well as an honest answer to it, allows a couple to become closer. Why a man masturbates - found out. Found the reasons. And got rid of them.
Everyone understands
“I don't mind. And I even admit that he, lying next to me, fantasizes about the other. The main thing is not to go to this other person in reality. His fantasies are part of his personal space, which cannot be deprived of. Evgenia, (30)
Why do men masturbate? Yes, sometimes in their fantasies they imagine another woman, for example, a famous actress. But that doesn't mean the guy is cheating.
Happy when a guy masturbates
Why does a guy masturbate? Because he cares about his partner and does not want to wake her up? And why does a woman, noticing him in the process of self-satisfaction, not ask questions? Because she understood without words and does not want to start explaining how terribly tired she was during the day, and that she has no time for sex?
“I was glad he didn't wake me up.
That day I was tired, I was exhausted. Well done for not bothering me." Lika, (30)
“I distinguish between making love for feelings and masturbation for stress relief. It would be unpleasant for me if he woke me not for the sake of love, but for the sake of his desire to "blow off steam." Alena, (29)
Resent when a guy masturbates
“I think it’s right to be indignant out loud, but not to offend: “Why didn’t you wake me up? You know, I always want you!” Marina, (22)
Such words are surely pleasant to every man. And to the question - why do men masturbate, there is one answer: because there is not always mutual understanding with their partner.
They answer the same
“We have the opposite. Sometimes it’s me who can’t sleep and pornographic thoughts come into my head. It's a shame to wake up your husband. It would be better if three kingpins fall in love with me in fantasies than I disturb him.
” Alina, (27)
Women are not alien to self-satisfaction. If you wonder why guys masturbate, it can be redirected to girls too, because women do it too.
Scientific causes of male masturbation
Why does a man masturbate? Sexologist Valery Saltykov believes that the absolute number of sexually mature men are prone to self-satisfaction, and they do it if possible, and not at will, as is commonly believed. And he adds that a man will begin to masturbate even if he has two permanent sexual partners. Either a low sexual need or religious taboos can make him neglect self-satisfaction.
Alena August, psychotherapist, VIP coach, says: “I can say one thing for sure: no one should worry, but you can and should think about why this is happening. Why does a man masturbate and when should you worry about it?
1. It should be remembered that masturbation for a man is an easy way to relieve stress. Why is he not doing this with his beloved? Because a girl needs kisses and caresses, assurances of feelings and gentle words, an aura and an atmosphere.
